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have a question for you when life feels
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stable do you feel uneasy do you feel
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tension do you try to ruin it do you try
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to sabotage it maybe you ruminate over
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things and create scenarios in your head
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maybe you create fights gossip or create
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some sort of tension in order to get
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back to comfort of some kind maybe you
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do this in your relationships your
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career even in your hobbies when things
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are going a good way you look for issues
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you look for problems and then you end
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up creating those problems well this is
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the core reason why you keep living in
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the past you internalize what has
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happened to you and you apply it to the
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present and the future so you keep
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reliving things over and over again
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there's actually a phenomenon to this
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and this is what we're going to talk
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about in this video today I'm going to
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break down emotional addiction what it
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is how it's affecting you and also
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consequences of it and of course I'm
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going to give Solutions because you need
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some solutions man okay what is
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emotional addiction it's a need to
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constantly feel emotions whether they're
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positive or negative you've experienced
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these emotions so much that it feels
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like it's literally a part of you and
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literally a part of your personality and
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your whole makeup so because you feel
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like this emotion is literally a part of
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you you always want to keep reliving it
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and the crazy part is a part of you
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finds fulfillment in reliving this
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emotion over and over again in another
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part of you feels comfort and reliving
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this emotion over and over again so if
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you're looking at yourself and you're
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always wondering why do you tend to be
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sad why do you tend to be angry why do
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you tend to always seek pleasure why do
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you tend to have fear it's because
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you've experienced these emotions
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continually in your past and when it
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gets to a point where it won't even make
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sense to experience them you still look
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to create it I found a quote when it
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comes to emotional addiction that I
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really like it's by Andrea brunetti she
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says emotional addiction is a state
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where there is a dependency on some
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emotions or more specifically on the
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chemicals produced by the brain when
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particular emotions are triggered better
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referred to as hit emotions this
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chemical reaction to certain emotions
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gives our brain a similar reward so when
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we think of the brain what is the reward
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chemical it's dopamine you get motivated
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to do an action because it gives you
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pleasure when it comes to our addicted
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emotions we can gain dopamine for
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example the emotion of have having
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desire if you have a lot of desires you
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get dopamine from that and the act of
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Desiring things constantly becomes the
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addiction and then maybe this person
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that has a lot of desires maybe they
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turn into a Shopaholic right their
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addiction becomes shopping a lot but the
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main root of that is written in an
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emotion which is desire and the desire
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fires dopamine in their brain telling
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them to keep doing it and like I said
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emotional addiction is two-sided it's
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not just positive emotions it's negative
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emotions as well people can be addicted
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to stress hormones firing in their body
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cortisol if you've experienced a lot of
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hardship and stressful situations when
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Life Starts going good what starts to
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happen to you you start getting a little
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uneasy it's like okay when's the next
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negative situation coming about because
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my life going great right now this is
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weird and this is uncomfortable right
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I'm ready for the next issue to come up
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and when there's no issue coming up you
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start creating the issue you start
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starting that fight with your spouse
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because you need some sort of
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familiarity with rather than peaceful
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situations this is why when people enter
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new relationships and they've been in
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previous relationships that were toxic
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or they're just used to toxicity in
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their life they create it in the
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relationship they project it onto their
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partner same thing with people that work
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in a new job or something in their old
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job it was kind of toxic and it was
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annoying like each day at work was a
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drag and they get to this new workplace
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and everything's peaceful and great they
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still look for something to complain
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about they still look for something to
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worry about and there's this rumination
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that goes on and the body gets its fix
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of the chemicals that typically fire
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there's another Insight I had about this
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a lot of times people can get addicted
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to a negative emotion to protect
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themselves from a deeper emotion they're
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uncomfortable with for example someone
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that hates feeling sad could get
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addicted to showing anger because
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feeling sad all the time makes them feel
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weak especially in in us men and the
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addiction to anger he has to protects
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this person from feeling sadness but it
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can end up alienating their loved ones
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and no one really liking them so here's
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another quote by Andrea she says quote
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our bodies and Minds learn to make
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crisis and Chaos their home our brain
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becomes addicted to the adrenaline and
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cortisol spikes released in these types
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of situations unconsciously we learn to
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need hits of strong emotions to feel
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alive even if these are negative
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emotions or emotions that bring us
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suffering and discomfort so what are we
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seeing here it's just dependence on the
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emotion because it's the Baseline way
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someone has viewed life think about your
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life what is the Baseline emotional
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state you experience life in forget the
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circumstances a lot of times we look at
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the 3D World we look at matter around us
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and we say okay I'm like this because of
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the of this I'm like this because of
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this and we start playing victim instead
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of taking accountability and saying look
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I am in control of my frequency I'm in
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control of my mindset what happens
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around me is what's happening around me
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right now what's happening in the past
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is what's happened in the past that's a
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past version of me that's a past
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experience cool now what can I do to
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move forward from that how can I start
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to think how can I start to change how
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can I become more aware of what I do and
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who I am that way things don't keep
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reoccurring business concept of these
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different realities where the decisions
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you make the way you think affects what
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kind of realities you kind of shift onto
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think of two people they look exactly
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the same uh their lives are exactly the
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same positive and negative things happen
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to both of them one person he
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understands that negativity happens but
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his focus is on positive outcomes and
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the positive realities that he wants
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whereas the other person positive and
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negative things happen to him but he's
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focused and he ruminates over the
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negative things that happen to him what
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starts to happen is the person that
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ruminates over the negativity he gets
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addicted to the emotion and he starts to
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identify with them so when he starts
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identifying with them it's his identity
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and he starts reliving it over and over
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again and it becomes comforting for him
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now shifting to the other person they
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feel the negative emotions they
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understand that it happens but they
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focus on desirable outcomes they focus
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on things that raise their mindset they
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experience emotions and they let them go
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they don't identify with emotions this
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person here is going to have a better
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reality overall they're gonna start
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seeing improvements as time goes on and
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this comes down to Habit which I have a
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really nice quote on uh by Eric Baum he
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says quote habit forming takes place
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when repeated actions become second
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nature so developing an emotional habit
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means unconsciously training yourself to
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respond to a variety of triggers with a
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default emotional reaction over time
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that feeling becomes a baseline for how
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you respond to the world if anger is
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your default emotion you might find
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yourself turning to it whenever you're
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uncertain you may feel a sense of calm
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as this emotion washes over you and
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that's powerful right there think of the
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emotion of anger right think about that
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emotion how powerful we can be the fact
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that that emotion can make somebody calm
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is is pretty wild why it would make
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someone calm is because it's familiar
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it's something they've done in their
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past that they just are so used to and
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familiarity is powerful I want you to
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imagine this scenario let's say you're
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traveling and let's say you're going to
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Japan this is your first time in Japan
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you travel by yourself you don't know
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anybody in Japan when you arrive in
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Japan you overhear people talking about
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America and you're like oh okay so these
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are Americans they have an American
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accent they look American and as they're
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talking they start talking about a city
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that you uh happen to live near let's
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say they talk about Omaha Nebraska let's
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say you live in Omaha Nebraska now you
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butt into the conversation you guys say
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oh you guys are from Omaha I'm from
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Omaha as well you don't know these
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people these people could be Mass
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murderers these people could be
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um crazy people these people you don't
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know who these people are but the simple
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fact that there's familiarity in the
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conversation it creates trust and it
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creates a sense of comfort so you are
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from the same place you don't know these
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people but the fact that you're from the
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same place there's some comfort there
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that's the same thing with our emotions
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and another quote we start to come to
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depend on an emotion for the same
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reasons we might depend on the substance
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or behavior for Comfort relief release
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reassurance distraction avoidance and
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escapism become so dependent upon this
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emotion that it feels like an obsession
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a compulsion or even an addiction wow
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also certain emotions can be our go-to
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feeling when we don't know how to feel
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about things when we're just unsure when
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there's unknowns your default could be
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fear for example and then fear is what
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you're used to let's say you enter a new
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relationship and it's amazing or you
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start working out and your body's going
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any better and better you're so addicted
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to fear that you start creating fear in
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the relationship situation you may fear
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that your significant other leaving you
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you may fear that they're not into you
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as much you may fear that their parents
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might not like you all of these things
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start going through your mind because
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you're so used to fear uh in Fitness you
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may fear falling off your fitness
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journey or you may fear even going to a
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gym because you feel judged when you
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work out you feel like you're not making
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progress you see how this seeps in
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so this is a very important thing that
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we have to look at especially when we
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look at other people and we see that
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they have addictions of some kind we
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have to look at the addiction but we
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have to look at the root cause of the
00:08:37
addiction so for example if somebody is
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turning to drugs to escape financial
00:08:41
hardship financial hardship is the root
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cause but the emotion and that root
00:08:45
cause is feelings of stress it could be
00:08:48
stress that they are truly looking to
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escape from because there are people in
00:08:52
a financial hardship that aren't
00:08:53
stressed actually believe it or not so
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it's not necessarily the situation it's
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the reaction to the situation I'm gonna
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get into Solutions because this is going
00:09:01
to be very valuable for you listen to
00:09:02
all these Solutions because I think you
00:09:04
should really internalize them you don't
00:09:06
have to do all of them but you should do
00:09:07
a good a good chance especially if it's
00:09:09
a solution that you haven't tried before
00:09:10
or you've tried it but you haven't
00:09:12
really done it consistently you should
00:09:13
probably listen to this list also
00:09:15
speaking of consistency if you're going
00:09:16
to do this do it consistently because
00:09:18
the mind is tricky the body is tricky
00:09:20
the brain wants Comfort the brain likes
00:09:22
dopamine the brain and the Brain
00:09:24
literally has neural Pathways for
00:09:25
certain behaviors of yours and the body
00:09:28
is literally used to experiencing
00:09:29
certain emotions we have to break this
00:09:31
chain link and we have to do new things
00:09:33
in order to make a true difference in
00:09:35
our lives number one is meditation uh
00:09:38
meditation helps you become present it's
00:09:40
absolutely amazing I recommend guided
00:09:42
meditation um where someone is speaking
00:09:44
and they're guiding you through the
00:09:45
whole process and meditation brings you
00:09:47
to the present moment um it removes
00:09:49
rumination the monkey mind Etc and it
00:09:52
helps you not think ahead too much right
00:09:53
because think about our days when you
00:09:55
wake up in the morning what do you do
00:09:56
you start thinking about oh I got to do
00:09:58
this I gotta do that I gotta do this I
00:09:59
gotta do that and then what happens is
00:10:00
these activities that you have to do you
00:10:02
have Associated emotions with them right
00:10:05
so for example you gotta take the kids
00:10:06
to soccer practice oh traffic is going
00:10:08
to be heavy ah people are bad at driving
00:10:11
oh we might be late so you have
00:10:14
anxieties that start popping up because
00:10:16
you're thinking ahead in the future and
00:10:17
you have Associated emotions with that
00:10:19
so meditation can cut this in half and
00:10:21
it can make you stay present and guess
00:10:23
what when your brain starts thinking
00:10:25
about what you have to do later in the
00:10:26
day you're not as emotionally attached
00:10:28
to how you're feeling you're not going
00:10:30
to have as strong of an emotional charge
00:10:32
it'll kind of just be like it is what it
00:10:34
is and even when you experience some
00:10:35
emotion you won't be addicted to it you
00:10:37
won't be attached to it that's the power
00:10:39
of meditation also throw yoga in there
00:10:41
stretching the body in a certain ways in
00:10:43
order to influence the mind there are a
00:10:45
lot of yoga poses out there I found a
00:10:46
really nice quote on meditation deep
00:10:48
measured consciously controlled
00:10:49
breathing has dramatic effects on the
00:10:52
nervous system many disciplines such as
00:10:53
yogic breathing and invoke consciously
00:10:55
controlled breathing as a practice to
00:10:58
calm the mind and induce peacefulness
00:11:00
and this Falls in line with breath work
00:11:02
it's crazy that just the way we breathe
00:11:04
literally influences our thought process
00:11:06
and how our body is a lot of us are very
00:11:08
tense and the reason why we're very
00:11:10
tense is because we subconsciously have
00:11:13
fears right we subconsciously have fears
00:11:15
about okay what's going to come next
00:11:16
what's gonna what's gonna happen in my
00:11:18
life next but when we relax the body
00:11:20
when we're able to stretch out the body
00:11:21
when we're able to do breath work we're
00:11:23
able to watch our minds the body is
00:11:25
relaxed and when the body is relax the
00:11:27
nervous system is like okay everything's
00:11:29
fine the brain is like everything is
00:11:31
fine and that's the power of spiritual
00:11:32
practices like meditation yoga if you're
00:11:34
changing the state of the mind which
00:11:35
affects the body AKA how your nervous
00:11:37
system reacts to stimuli you're less
00:11:39
prone to emotional addictions because
00:11:40
you can experience more spectrums of
00:11:42
emotions yet not be addicted to them
00:11:44
right so it's like you experience it as
00:11:46
a human being you're experiencing this
00:11:47
emotion but it's not you you understand
00:11:49
that as a human I have a spectrum of
00:11:51
emotions that come and go and come and
00:11:53
go and this also helps you appreciate
00:11:55
when others show different emotions
00:11:56
because sometimes maybe other people
00:11:57
maybe they're a little sad maybe they're
00:11:59
a little angry and you can be very
00:12:01
centered and calm and present and
00:12:04
understand where they're coming from
00:12:05
without reacting to that you won't have
00:12:07
this need to be combative with them
00:12:09
especially if you're prone to arguing
00:12:11
with people you're just very centered
00:12:13
and present you're not addicted to the
00:12:15
drama anymore you see that as as low low
00:12:18
vibration activities relative to your
00:12:21
your current frequency pull it on the
00:12:23
nervous system says the nervous system
00:12:24
is your body's primary communication
00:12:26
Network your nerves like wires carry
00:12:28
electrical signals or messages within
00:12:30
and between all the parts of your body
00:12:32
so that's why when you start thinking of
00:12:34
a stressful situation your body starts
00:12:36
reacting immediately that chemical
00:12:38
signal got transferred from your brain
00:12:40
to your body and it and it's the same
00:12:42
thing vice versa when you touch your hot
00:12:45
stove what happens you immediately pull
00:12:47
away your nervous system kicks in says
00:12:49
oh no oh no we ain't we're not burning
00:12:52
ourselves next is observing yourself
00:12:54
from the audience this is a very
00:12:56
interesting phenomenon I learned from
00:12:58
trans surfing for 78 days something like
00:13:00
that this is the this is the idea that
00:13:02
reality is a play and in this play
00:13:05
You're the main character but the main
00:13:07
character isn't you I know it sounds
00:13:09
interesting you're the main character
00:13:11
but that's not who you actually are
00:13:14
you're actually the Creator that's
00:13:16
watching you experience reality right so
00:13:19
think of right now
00:13:20
as we were maybe sitting watching this
00:13:22
video You're the character in the moving
00:13:24
movie watching the video the audience
00:13:25
which is you you're watching you watch
00:13:27
the video and when you do this and you
00:13:30
go about your life right you watch
00:13:31
yourself exercising you watch yourself
00:13:33
going to work you watch yourself
00:13:34
interacting with others you watch
00:13:36
yourself when you experience anxieties
00:13:38
you watch yourself when you're sad you
00:13:40
watch yourself when you're experiencing
00:13:41
this then the third you don't identify
00:13:43
so much with things and you're able to
00:13:46
pull away from those emotions that seem
00:13:48
very addictive you're able to
00:13:49
disidentify with those emotions start
00:13:52
observing yourself from the audience
00:13:53
you're in a play and this also makes
00:13:55
life more light next avoid drama-filled
00:13:58
media in people if you're looking to
00:14:00
make a change in your life you can't be
00:14:01
around people that are reinforcing your
00:14:03
old habits if you're used to watching
00:14:05
shows with a bunch of fighting a bunch
00:14:06
of arguing if you're used to being
00:14:08
around people that fight all the time
00:14:10
um you know and all of this you're just
00:14:13
reinforcing that habit within you you're
00:14:15
you're normalizing it I'm in a video on
00:14:17
normalization normalizing is you see
00:14:19
something going on so much that yeah
00:14:20
it's like yeah it's normal but that
00:14:22
doesn't mean it's good right that's a
00:14:24
that's a very important thing so if you
00:14:26
if you're watching a bunch of
00:14:28
drama-filled TV if you're watching the
00:14:30
news all the time and they're just
00:14:31
showing a lot of uh negative stuff that
00:14:34
could be a big reason why you're prone
00:14:36
to certain anxieties right and certain
00:14:38
emotions it's because you've normalized
00:14:41
those emotions so if you don't want to
00:14:43
normalize it get rid of it next catch
00:14:45
your judgments criticisms and
00:14:46
complaining
00:14:48
um if you're complaining a lot you're
00:14:49
judging a lot all of that stuff that
00:14:51
comes with emotion next is loosen your
00:14:53
expectations so a lot of us we have a
00:14:55
lot of expectations when it comes to
00:14:57
ourselves and other people I'm all for
00:14:59
having high expectations but sometimes
00:15:01
we just have to chill with the
00:15:02
expectation because when those
00:15:04
expectations don't get met we can get
00:15:06
angry we can get sad we can get annoyed
00:15:09
it could be the slightest thing maybe
00:15:10
someone has met your expectations for a
00:15:12
long time and then the second they don't
00:15:14
meet your expectations you get annoyed
00:15:16
by them you get angry oh they don't love
00:15:18
me anymore oh they're this they're that
00:15:20
they're third and resort to anger or
00:15:22
annoyance of some kind because you're
00:15:24
used to maybe in the past people letting
00:15:27
you down because in the past you had
00:15:28
high expectations of them but you have
00:15:30
to understand everyone's very different
00:15:32
and you can expect everyone to meet your
00:15:35
expectations at all time you have to
00:15:37
find a way to meet your needs as best as
00:15:38
you can and that's a very important
00:15:40
thing to understand next cut activities
00:15:42
with high levels of dopamine whether
00:15:44
it's social media whether it's porn
00:15:46
whether it's
00:15:47
junk food with a lot of sugar in it when
00:15:50
you have a lot of dopamine you start you
00:15:52
start Desiring that pleasure a lot that
00:15:54
emotion you want to keep experiencing
00:15:56
that emotion over and over and over
00:15:57
again and what happens is you start
00:16:00
doing that habit over and over and over
00:16:02
again you see desire and pleasure all
00:16:04
the time you can't even get anything
00:16:06
else done in your life because it
00:16:07
doesn't Inspire enough desire or
00:16:09
pleasure in your brain in the past if
00:16:11
you continually sought out dopamine and
00:16:14
pleasure your brain is going to find a
00:16:16
way to get that some sort of way it's
00:16:18
going to find a way so you have to be
00:16:19
very mindful when it come comes to how
00:16:22
you seek out High dopamine activities
00:16:24
related to the emotions of desire and
00:16:27
and pleasure next examine what you're
00:16:29
escaping from and why more so look into
00:16:31
your fears like things you're scared of
00:16:33
things that you've feared in the past
00:16:36
um phobias of yours and get really deep
00:16:39
and get really deep there because that
00:16:40
can be very powerful in telling you a
00:16:42
lot about yourself a lot about how you
00:16:45
act right like in the past maybe you
00:16:47
have a fear of Abandonment and because
00:16:49
of that fear of Abandonment you try to
00:16:51
make sure that people give you as much
00:16:53
attention as possible as much love as
00:16:55
possible because you have that
00:16:56
underlying fear there the part of you
00:16:58
can't let go of that fear because it's
00:17:01
been with you so long you identify with
00:17:03
the fear with that fear and then lastly
00:17:05
resist brooding so brooding is just like
00:17:07
ruminating over things just like oh I
00:17:09
can't believe you did this oh but back
00:17:13
at this time this person did this and
00:17:14
they did that I can't believe they did
00:17:15
that you're constantly complaining and
00:17:17
you're staying on the subject I actually
00:17:18
found an interesting quote on brooding
00:17:20
uh when you brewed over something
00:17:21
distressing you rarely gain Insight over
00:17:23
it you just end up replaying upsetting
00:17:26
situations in your head exactly you
00:17:28
start replaying scenarios in your head
00:17:30
it's like when you get into a fight with
00:17:31
someone the fight is over and then you
00:17:34
start replaying the fight and you start
00:17:35
thinking about oh I should have said
00:17:37
this about them hahaha right you start
00:17:39
brooding over it over and over and over
00:17:41
again and you start replaying situations
00:17:43
and then you you do this over and over
00:17:45
again through time and you start holding
00:17:47
grudges against people all these types
00:17:49
of things so
00:17:50
um you want to avoid this at all costs
00:17:52
those are emotional addictions for you
00:17:54
[Music]
