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hi my name is Taylor and welcome to the
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MSU Denver Institute for Women's studies
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and services write a winning scholarship
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essay Workshop this PowerPoint was
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developed by our associate director who
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has a master's degree in writing and has
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been helping college students write
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scholarship essays for more than six
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years we will start out with an activity
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take out a piece of paper and a pen and
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answer this question what are some
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things that you already know about
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scholarship essays make a list pause
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this presentation and when you are done
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with the activity press start
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again keep this list in mind as we move
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through this presentation we'll come
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back to it at the end the essay can
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cause many students to never complete
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their scholarship
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application developing an essay can be
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intimidating students may not know how
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to begin writing a scholarship essay and
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they feel intimidated by the competition
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they figure that they can't possibly
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write well enough to win so why
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bother many of the people who apply have
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already failed to win the scholarship
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because they messed up the application
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with simple mistakes for example not
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following instructions or leaving the
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application
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incomplete many scholarships get few or
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no
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applications especially smaller or
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little known
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scholarships scholarship donors
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sometimes send out Mass emails asking
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faculty and staff to encourage students
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to apply for a particular scholarship
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that no one has applied to the fact is
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you have a decent chance at winning a
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scholarship if you work hard at it we
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are going to go over some general
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writing tips in a few slides we will get
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to writing tips that are specific to
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scholarship essays remember that long
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complicated sentences do not sound more
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intellectual simple clear and
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straightforward is the essence of good
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writing
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don't try to impress your reader by
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using flowery sentences or big words and
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remember the goal of writing is to
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communicate ideas meaningfully and
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effectively in the green box we see an
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example of a sentence that uses so many
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words that it's really difficult to
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understand the sentence reads
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matriculating nonex chromosomal Homo
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sapiens desirous of upper percentile
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indicators in logocentric Des cursive
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pedagogy should a skew utilizing
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verbiage equivalent to higher monetary
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amounts where a segment of discourse
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akin to metallic Financial tokens would
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suffice this is a terrible sentence
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simply because it's hard to understand
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due to the big words by the way that
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sentence means students who want good
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grades should avoid $100 words when
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5cent word would work just as well
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doesn't that make makes so much more
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sense good writing is simple clear and
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straightforward along the same lines
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remember if you can use a small word
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instead of a big word do it if you're
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not 100% sure what it means look it up
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in a dictionary again direct clear
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writing is the best way to go I can't
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count the number of essays I've read
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where students misuse big words I'm not
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saying don't ever use big words I'm
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saying be careful how you use them if a
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big word is the most precise way to say
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something by all means use it but if
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you're not sure what it means look it up
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in a dictionary I like dictionary.com
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and use it frequently furthermore if a
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small word would work just as well in
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the place of a big word your writing
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will usually sound more succinct and
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clearer if you choose the small
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word now this slide is super important
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you must follow the instructions or you
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will be
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disqualified meet the word count or page
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requirement stick to any structural
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guidelines provided make sure your essay
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answers the question or questions and
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this last one is crucial I see many many
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essays that either don't answer the
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question at all or else answer only one
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part of the question for example the MSU
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Denver scholarship application has three
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questions and I've seen many essays that
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only answer two for example example if
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the scholarship application asks about
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the history of Colorado and you end up
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writing about modern day Colorado
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agriculture your essay does not answer
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the question think of it this way if an
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organization receives 200 applications
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for 10 scholarships an easy way to cut
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out a bunch of the applications is to
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throw out the ones that didn't answer
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the
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question here we have the Calvin and
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Hobbs comic strip Calvin what a ripoff
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they say if you connect these dots you
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get a picture but look I did it and it's
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just a big mess Hobs I think you're
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supposed to connect them in the order
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that they are numbered Calvin o
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everything's got to have rules rules
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rules avoid filler take it out filler is
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what students write when they don't know
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what to write and are trying to fill
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space filler is like cotton candy it
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takes up space and after you're done you
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don't really feel
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satisfied judges of scholarship essays
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will recognize filler
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immediately filler will lower your
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chances of getting a
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scholarship take it out instead do more
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free
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writing or if appropriate get yourself
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to the library and do some more
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research write three
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drafts this idea of writing three drafts
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comes from Ann lot's book Bird by bird
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during the first draft give yourself
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permission to write the ideas as they
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come to you make spelling or grammar
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mistakes Galore none of that matters
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just get it all down in the second draft
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revise address larger issues of content
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and structure in this draft in the
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second draft
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revise is the point of your essay
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clear does each paragraph and section
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relate somehow to your main point does
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the structure work well do you need to
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move some sentences or paragraphs or
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else reorganize the whole thing are
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there ideas that you still need to write
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about
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more in the third draft editing or proof
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reading happens in this draft look
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closely at sentence structure grammar
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and typos don't rely on spell check
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spell check will not find missing words
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wrong words for example if you happen to
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type form instead of
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and many other mistakes in this draft
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especially if grammar is not your strong
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suit give your essay to someone else to
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proofread when you know that you can fix
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everything on the next draft you don't
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have to stop writing to worry did I say
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that right should a comma go here does
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the idea in this sentence flow logically
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into the idea of the next sentence
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writing three drafts makes the process
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easier
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now we are going to look at tips for
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writing a great scholarship
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essay these tips were adapted from
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scholarships.com and scholarship
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help.org we'll start by talking about
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the most important thing to remember if
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you only take one thing away from this
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presentation it should be
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this whenever possible tell a true story
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about an event or an experience in your
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life rather than listing qualities
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skills or accompl Ms tell about the time
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that your mom went through open heart
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surgery during your first semester of
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college how you dealt with it and how it
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changed
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you some students do try to just list
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the things that they've accomplished
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work student
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organizations volunteer
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experience but imagine how boring an
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essay like that would be the idea is
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that you want the person reading your
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essay to feel like they know
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you tell how you came to feel passionate
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about your career field a moment or
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experience in your life that changed you
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or motivated you to change or your own
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unique life story think like the judges
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imagine that you work for a company that
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donates scholarships and youve
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volunteered to be on the committee to
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decide who receives the
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scholarship and like this woman you have
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your regular job to do in addition to
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reading 20 or 80 scholarship essays what
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would make an essay stand out what would
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make you say we should give this student
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money here are some common answers that
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we come up with when I give this
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presentation in person an essay with no
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grammar errors an essay that's
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interesting an essay with a great first
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line an essay that answers the question
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and most importantly an essay that tells
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a short true story about the
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writer what applications would you throw
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away common answers in include an essay
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with mistakes or typos an essay that's
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hard to read or understand an essay
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that's boring an essay that doesn't
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answer the question and again last but
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definitely not least an essay that does
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not tell a short true story about the
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writer analyze the question or topic
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understand the purpose of asking the
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essay question regardless of the theme
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the essay is really about you the judges
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want to know about you your thoughts
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your beliefs and ideas remember tell a
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story about
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yourself does the question suggest a
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structure such as these three questions
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from MSU Denver scholarship
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application describe your interest in
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your chosen field of study and how you
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will use your degree upon
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graduation how will a scholarship
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assists you in attaining your goals
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share any unique experiences or
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qualities that may May distinguish you
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from other deserving
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candidates decide do you have to do
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research or is this an analysis of
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yourself how do the judges plan to get
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to know you through this
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essay make sure you are prepared to
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write
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brainstorm get out a pencil and paper
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write down everything that comes to mind
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even if you don't think it's very good
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once you've written down all the ideas
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you can think of then you can decide
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which of them to use when you brainstorm
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great ideas shine through too often by
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censoring ourselves we toss out our best
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ideas think critically don't be critical
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of your
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thoughts organize when you are done
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brainstorming organize your ideas into
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the most logical order from these ideas
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you should be able to see an outline
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write an outline the outline will assure
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that you have the right order and that
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you will cover all of the points that
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you want to cover a note about hardship
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stories is that hardship stories are
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okay if they have a happy ending now
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what do I mean by a hardship story a
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hardship story is again a short true
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story about yourself however and more
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specifically hardship stories are
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stories about difficult or even tragic
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things that we have
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experienced if you learned from it grew
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from it and everything worked out well
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in the end go ahead and tell that story
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if it's does not have a happy ending
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pick a different story here we have
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another cartoon the big monster says I
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love a happy ending the little one says
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me too a know about religion and
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politics avoid writing about these why
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people feel very strongly about religion
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and politics and if you write about
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something your reader doesn't agree with
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that person may put your application in
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the no pile the exception to this of
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course is if the scholarship is
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specifically through an organization
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that is faith-based or political in
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nature during your second and third
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drafts you are
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rewriting an important concept that will
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help you with these drafts is show don't
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tell consider the following
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example my family does not have a lot of
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money I worked my way through high
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school at
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Walmart the message can be made more
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Vivid by sharing more detail my family
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does not have a lot of money I worked at
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the local Walmart most evenings and did
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my homework on the bus ride home or
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after work now the riter adds even more
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detail my family does not have a lot of
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money we work together on a schedule so
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I can earn money for college and stay on
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top of my school
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workor most weekdays after school I
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attend one of my club meetings then
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catch the late bus home I usually finish
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my math homework on the ride
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I get home in time to grab supper ahead
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of time mom always has something ready
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on the stove then work on other homework
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until Dad drives in at about 5:35 p.m.
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we pass each other in the driveway
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transferring keys and
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information I aced the math test it
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needs gas on the way home the 15-minute
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Drive gets me to Walmart in time to
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punch in for the 6:00 p.m. to closing
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shift on nights that the family needs
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the car Dad drives me both ways I'm home
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again by 9:30 p.m. in time to chat with
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my folks and watch 30 minutes of Comedy
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Central before going to
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bed now this is an interesting student
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in a great family everybody participates
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everybody
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cooperates you can feel the close timing
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involved in making the situation work
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you can hear the easy interaction of
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people who care for each other you know
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that this person is not a robot and
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needs a little human interaction plus a
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little TV before starting over we like
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this student don't we we'd like to help
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out this family they deserve
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it now we're going to do another
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activity to give you some practice in
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showing versus telling the quote on this
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slide is by Anton
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COV don't tell me the Moon is shining
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show me the glint of light on broken
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glass open the document on this website
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entitled showing versus telling pause
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this presentation read the instructions
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and do the
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activity the point of this activity is
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to get you familiar with showing so that
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you can use some of these techniques in
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your scholarship essay recently I spoke
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with a student who was frustrated about
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the idea of telling a short true story
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about herself because she felt like she
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only had boring stories to tell about
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herself what do you do in this case to
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answer that question I want us to look
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at the lyrics to one of my favorite
00:15:35
songs Everest by Anie DeFranco in this
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song she's telling a short true story
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about herself that on the surface might
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seem like a boring story she's
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describing going with her friend to
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church please pause the presentation now
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and take a moment to read the lyrics on
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the slide
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we can see that it's the detail she uses
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that make this story interesting even
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though she's talking about a pretty
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regular event the detail she uses
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creates images in our minds cinder
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blocks fluorescent lights the floors
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were scrubbed clean everybody had a
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tambourine everybody
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stared and squeaky sandal shoes these
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are just a few examples these details
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give us a sense of what this experience
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was like for her in your second and
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third drafts go back through and find
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places where you told instead of showed
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in every sentence where you have told
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the reader something is there a way you
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could show by example rewrite a
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compelling conclusion don't summarize
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instead reemphasize the main point or
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Circle back to the beginning and tie the
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loop for example one student wrote about
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her experience as a volunteer literacy
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teacher
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she introduced the essay by stating that
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she decided to do this work because her
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dad could not read this story begs for a
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conclusion that answers the question did
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her dad learn to read don't summarize
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for example dad may never read
00:17:16
doski but we are both thrilled that he
00:17:19
can now read his sister's letters from
00:17:21
his hometown in Romania and doesn't have
00:17:24
to pretend to read the newspaper
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anymore dad never did learn to read but
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through his struggle I learned that I
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want to give the gift of literacy to
00:17:33
others the gift that no one has been
00:17:36
able to give my
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dad very different endings but in each
00:17:41
we hear the effect that the experience
00:17:43
has had on the writer that's the point
00:17:46
we gained insight into this student's
00:17:48
life through
00:17:49
writing so the question is where do I
00:17:53
start the first step is to complete your
00:17:55
FAFSA and then the MSU Denver
00:17:58
scholarship application which can be
00:18:00
found at
00:18:02
www.msudenver.edu
00:18:04
backf financial aid
00:18:07
scholarships also check out the iwss
00:18:10
website for our extensive database of
00:18:12
scholarships at
00:18:15
www.msudenver.edu
00:18:16
backwomen
00:18:19
scholarships and for more information
00:18:22
please view the online Workshop entitled
00:18:24
scholarships
00:18:26
101 what do you know now take a moment
00:18:29
to pause the presentation write down
00:18:32
your answer and compare it to the list
00:18:34
from the beginning of the
00:18:36
presentation what have you
00:18:41
learned get someone else to read your
00:18:44
essay before you turn it in use oncampus
00:18:48
resources The Writing Center appointment
00:18:50
required is located in the King Center
00:18:52
room
00:18:53
415 their phone number is 303
00:18:57
556
00:19:00
6070 also visit the Institute for
00:19:03
Women's studies and services
00:19:05
iwss all genders are welcome we are
00:19:09
located at 1059 9th Street Historic Park
00:19:13
two houses down from Einstein Bagels or
00:19:16
you can call us at
00:19:27
303-556-4372 you have a draft and need
00:19:29
someone to take a look at it set up an
00:19:32
appointment with us and we will help you
00:19:34
to write the best essay you
00:19:37
can if you have any questions please
00:19:40
contact the Institute for Women's
00:19:42
studies and services at 303 556
00:19:46
8441 or email s SM
00:19:50
t201 msudenver.edu
00:19:53
thanks for watching our video and happy
00:19:56
scholarship essay writing
