00:00:08
I have tried to film this video what feels like
a 100 times so I'm going to attempt to just sit
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down and get it all out all at once and tell you
the story of why I'm leaving New York and no this
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is not clickbait this is actually happening I
actually only have 2 days left I just said my
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goodbyes to a lot of my friends I'm a little
bit in my feels right now it's about midnight
00:00:28
and I'm in Brooklyn Bridge Park which by the
way if you haven't been keeping up I moved
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to New York I moved here about 5 months ago on
February 29th which I love because that's leap
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day and that's the day I took the leap and moved
to New York which is so corny I'm so sorry oh my
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God my room is so tiny but it's mine and I love
it I guess my hope of this video is not only to
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document my time here and how I'm feeling and
where I'm at in this stage of life but also if
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you out there watching this might also be
struggling with where you belong in life
00:00:52
figuring out your purpose and what you want to
do then maybe my story can help you achieve some
00:00:57
clarity of your own and not to say that I really
have all the answers and all the clarity cuz I'm
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still figuring it out and I'm still as scared
and confused as ever but one thing I know for
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sure I am leaving New York in 2 days and it came
a lot sooner than I had expected actually when I
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first moved here I thought like originally maybe
I would live here for 1 to 2 years but I loved it
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so much when I got here it felt so much like home
that I thought that I could see myself living here
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for like 5+ years and actually I'm not even going
to lie I could actually see myself settling down
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here long term so to be clear I'm not leaving New
York because I don't like it or I could hack it
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quite the opposite actually I've never felt more
at home in my entire life as soon as I landed here
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I instantly felt an ease like my entire body
just like breathed a sigh of relief it felt
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like everything in my life was waiting to happen
until I was in the right location and I had spent
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years wasting my time in a place that just wasn't
right for me and I'd finally found my spot I was
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totally expecting a really difficult transition
moving to New York because I know it is not easy
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to live here so I was very prepared for that but
I'm going to be so real I got really really lucky
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moving here like the perfect apartment just fell
into my lap my first week here I started dating
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someone fell in love and got my heart broken did
the whole thing I met some of my closest friends
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on my third day or actually within my first two
weeks and these are friends that I am guaranteed
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going to be in my life for the long run like
forever I found my people I found my community
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honestly the amount of times I've serendipitously
met someone that I'm positive was meant to be in
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my life has happened here so many times I didn't
even think it was possible I started a successful
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side business and I got a job teaching yoga
I walked hundreds and hundreds of miles and
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I curated my body art collection everything
happened so quickly and that's the thing about
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New York everything moves so fast here like
I actually felt like I lived entire years's
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worth of life within my first 3 months and
I love that I'm a very fast paced person and
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I like to experience as many things as possible
so that's why I really really like the fast pace
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here I know it's not for everybody there's just
something in the air here it's undeniable there's
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just energy that just it makes you feel so alive
and quite honestly I actually couldn't imagine
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living anywhere else in the country besides New
York and my astrocartography confirms this if
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you look up your birth chart and see where your
lines fall I have a line going right by New York
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and it says this I'll paste it in and I can say
that that is 100% true you guys should look into
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it if you're interested when you first move here
a lot of people are going to ask you oh did you
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move here for work and I always like to say like
no I moved here for the opposite I moved here for
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life I wanted a new adventure I wanted a fresh
start I wanted to meet more like-minded people
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more creative friends I wanted to be inspired
explore my personal style and just like grow as
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a person and I will say New York did all of that
for me and more I just couldn't be more grateful
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for my time here and I know that a lot of people
do not have as great of an experience in New York
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especially when you first get here than I did so I
feel incredibly incredibly lucky so I know you're
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probably wondering why I'm deciding to leave after
only 5 short months and I will say the decision
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did not come easy um a lot of things went into it
and I felt super super conflicted about this and
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lost for a really long time but it's happening I'm
currently in the midst of wrapping a lot of things
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up saying all my goodbyes I cried a lot today I
cried a lot there's like a crazy amount of roly
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polies around me by the way and I'm like sitting
on top of my backpack right now to protect my
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ass but like they're everywhere oh it's on my
notebook okay sorry let's get into it so like
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I said making this decision was absolutely not
easy but to put it simply I got a lot of signs
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from the universe gosh where do I begin okay so
there were three main signs that I got from the
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universe for why I should leave New York and the
first one is the people the second one is my job
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and the third one was my apartment and at the end
of course I will share where I'm headed to next
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but first real quick let's talk about some pros
and cons of living in New York after my 5 months
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of experience here I know that's not the most and
I'm not not going to talk about the basic things
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that everyone talks about I'm going to share some
things that I feel like most people don't mention
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very often so just in case you're also thinking
about moving to New York so here are some of the
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reasons why you should or shouldn't so here we go
I feel like if my parents watch this video they're
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going to be like oh my God New York is not a good
place to live you need to leave but all right
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trust me I'm a tough cookie these things you just
got to move on brush it off I will say I honestly
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think that these things are worth the positive
things of living in New York so some of the cons
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number one I have noticeably been starting to lose
some of my hearing like I know I've only been here
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for 5 months but constantly being all around
so much noise and sirens it's just very very
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loud here like the max volume on my headphones
don't be sounding the same anymore there's also
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a ton of secondhand smoke like it's just there's
always like gross fumes in the air lots of bad
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smells and I just feel like that has definitely
taken a little bit of a toll in my health there's
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a ton of harassment in the streets actually an
appalling amount the catcalling is so bad I have
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been harassed in the streets like multiple times
like sexually harassed racially harassed or just
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straight up like a man just ran at me and grabbed
me it does piss me off it does ruin my day for a
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little bit but like unfortunately I guess that's
part of the cost of living in New York and also
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because it's a walkable city you just spend more
time on the streets I mean in another city I would
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just be like in my car you do got to watch your
back here you got to be a little careful also
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depending on the circles that you've run in I did
have a fear before moving here that moving to New
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York would make me become more materialistic and
more fake not more fake but more shallow New York
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is definitely a very very materialistic city it's
easy to get caught up in the rat race especially
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if you're in corporate America and as you rise up
the ranks you notice that people love to just talk
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about like their airline status and like the fancy
hotels and their bracelet stacks and like the nice
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clothes that they wear I don't know I've never
been interested in that world depending on the
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people that you end up surrounding yourself with
that could be a concern if that's something that
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matters to you then there's the burnout everyone
works here super super hard everyone is so so busy
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when I burnt out it was mostly socially and I also
burnt out physically I was literally in physical
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therapy because I sprained my foot from walking
too much of course there's obvious ones like it's
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really dirty it's really crowded very chaotic
lots of rats and trash it's overstimulating and
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also it's really really expensive everyone knows
all about that stuff but I guess the last thing
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is that the city is very transient so people are
always coming and going I guess that includes me
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now and obviously since I've only been here for
5 months I can't say that I've experienced this
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but it is something that I foresee that it could
be harder to build a community here because this
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is not the type of city that a lot of people
like to settle down in mostly because it's so
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expensive it's already know for a fact that most
of my friends plan on living New York eventually
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some within the next 2 years and that's just scary
to think about plus if you're dating someone and
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you want to stay but they want to go or you met
here but then you both see yourselves settling
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down in different cities then that's also going
to be a problem too the city is what you make
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of it and I will say you definitely will have
a honeymoon phase here I think mine is starting
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to come to an end I definitely recommend taking
advantage of that like while you're being super
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outgoing and saying yes to everything just very
excited take advantage of that because all the
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effort that you put in during those months will
come back in returns but also try and take care
00:07:16
of yourself take care of your body get some rest
the first is that the snowball effect here is so
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much stronger than other cities so what I mean by
snowball effect is how one decision can lead to
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one door opening can lead to another opportunity
to another opportunity etc etc I think it moves so
00:07:30
much more intensely and so much more fast here it
is super easy to meet people and I also say that
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people here are a lot more open-minded and willing
to meet new people so this could advance you in
00:07:39
your business in your side hustle or just your
social life or dating life I would also say my
00:07:43
favorite part about New York is the quality of the
people here I feel like I met a cool interesting
00:07:47
person on average once a day like someone that I
genuinely want to be friends with want to learn
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more about want to connect with this is just
a city where all the cool inspiring creative
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adventurous people who are doing cool [ __ ]
gather plus being in a walkable city I think
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that really helps with just the interactions of
like you just happen to meet a lot more strangers
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here it's also so nice to be right in the middle
of the action like if there is something cool
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going on in our country it is probably happening
in New York it's also a really really great city
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to get over your fear of being perceived because
trust me everyone is too busy to be judging you
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and no one gives a crap what you're wearing or
if you're filming a video in public or whatever
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you're doing guaranteed there's way more weirder
crazier people on the street doing whatever and
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like nobody even bats an eye so you can be whoever
you want here it's the best place to have a fresh
00:08:28
start to reinvent yourself to experiment with
your style it's also the best idea to be in
00:08:32
if you have a lot of iche hobbies if you have a
really niche hobby guaranteed there are at least
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a thousand people in the city who do the same
thing and there's probably a weekly meetup for it
00:08:39
too all right let's get into the signs there's
this quote that I really love I think it was Oprah
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who said it life whispers to you at first but
the longer you ignore it it will soon turn into
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a scream I think the universe was trying to tell
me to leave New York for a while but it took a
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lot of signs because I'm pretty stubborn I didn't
want to go but the first sign that I got was from
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the people that I met and the first person was
actually the person that I dated when I first
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moved here I had mentioned that my first week here
I went on my first date and I ended up basically
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entering into a relationship with this guy not
official because he knew that he was leaving
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within a few months because he's doing a digital
nomad thing so he's only spending a few months
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in each major city and he's traveling here and
there because his job is remote and okay I need
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to backtrack because that is actually what I have
been wanting to do this entire time like that I
00:09:29
was never planning on moving to New York actually
a few years ago I hated New York I actually like
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made it almost a personality trait like how much
I didn't like New York and like I could never see
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myself living here what I actually wanted to do
was to be a digital nomad I talked about this
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constantly because my job has been remote I've
had it for 3 years and I feel like you should
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just take advantage of this perk so that's what
I really really wanted to do but actually last
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minute before I was about to go off something in
my gut just told me that maybe I should try moving
00:09:52
to New York first and just see what happens then I
met this guy we clicked right away it moved super
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super fast and as our relationship was getting
serious I almost said seriouser and seriouser
00:10:01
as our relationship got more and more serious
it became apparent that there were only three
00:10:04
outcomes for us he stops being a digital nomad and
stays in New York with me I leave New York and go
00:10:09
travel with him or we break up which is actually
the most likely and probable and smart decision
00:10:15
the anxiety of like this impending decision coming
up was just it was just a very very confusing time
00:10:20
but like honestly if you think about it isn't
it almost kind of perfect like he was actually
00:10:24
the first person that ever met who was doing the
digital nomad thing I have talked about it for
00:10:28
years but I've never actually met met anyone in
real life who's also doing it probably because
00:10:32
they don't stop by Chicago very often but I'm a
very flexible person kind of go with the flow like
00:10:36
I'm open to any opportunities that come along
so I was like actually down to go with him but
00:10:41
I know that's crazy okay like I'm a hopeless
romantic but even I know that that would be
00:10:45
crazy for both of us either of us to change our
entire life trajectories for each other when we
00:10:50
just met like 3 weeks ago that was the first time
that I had seriously seriously considered leaving
00:10:55
New York even though it was like very clear that
the city is perfect for me and because of that
00:11:00
I ended up getting serious about making the most
of my time here in New York so I made a New York
00:11:04
bucket list and by today I have completed almost
every single item on the list like there's not a
00:11:09
single thing left in New York that I think that I
need to do and I feel very satisfied my time here
00:11:14
so that is a really good thing that came out of
that relationship but after we broke up the next
00:11:18
person that I met after him was doing that like
she was being a digital nomad with her partner
00:11:24
traveling around the states New York was her first
destination I just met her at yoga class and we
00:11:27
got lunch and we talked all about it and she said
something that really stuck with me who knows how
00:11:30
much longer our companies are going to let us be
remote so we have to take advantage of it now my
00:11:34
entire industry has actually gone back to hybrid
so it's very lucky that my specific role at my
00:11:38
specific company is still remote and who knows
if they're going to keep letting me be remote
00:11:43
and then from there on then I caught up with
Joanna and Amber my two friends from college
00:11:46
who are doing something similar or planning to
very soon then I met Annie and also her previous
00:11:51
roommate is doing something similar and then
Amnah and it just felt like the universe kept
00:11:55
putting people in my path who were doing the
thing like some version of quitting their job
00:11:59
traveling the world being a digital Nomad and
before this I had literally never met a single
00:12:03
person doing this and suddenly left and right it
was popping up everywhere the second sign I got
00:12:11
was dun dun dun my job remember how I just said
that my industry has gone back to the hybrid mode
00:12:15
but my specific role is still remote well one day
maybe like a month after I moved in my boss just
00:12:21
randomly stopped me in the hallway and it was like
have you been coming into the office and I was
00:12:24
like um no I'm still remote status I think and he
basically told me that I need to start adhering to
00:12:29
the hybrid schedule because that's just the rule
that they have for people who live in New York
00:12:33
even though my entire team is remote by the way I
don't even know who I'm coming to the office for
00:12:37
and I actually had decided that there's literally
no amount of money that you could pay me to get me
00:12:41
to start coming into the office remote work is
so imperative to my quality of life that it is
00:12:46
actually that big of a deal to me I value freedom
over anything and at this point like I'm already
00:12:49
not feeling that hot about my corporate job and
if I were to start coming to the office I would
00:12:53
100,000% start hating it so this is actually a
lose-lose for everybody so there's like a lot of
00:12:58
reasons why it doesn't make sense and I can feel
some of your judgment through the screen right now
00:13:01
okay but this is like this is just honestly how
I feel and absolutely no hate to my job I have a
00:13:04
really really great job and I'm so grateful for it
but frankly it has absolutely nothing to do with
00:13:08
me like the Venn diagram of Kelly's interests and
things that I'm good at has absolutely no overlap
00:13:14
with the things that I do in my job and if I were
to live in literally anywhere else in the world
00:13:18
besides New York I could stay remote it's just a
stupid rule that they have for New York employees
00:13:23
so I was like oh should I leave New York and
keep the quality of life that I want or should
00:13:27
I just tough it out and stay in New York where I
clearly meant to be within like 20 minutes of the
00:13:31
conversation with my boss I decided to go I mean
I'd already been sort of thinking about it and
00:13:36
it just kind of felt right like actually didn't
feel sad or dramatic I didn't feel anything about
00:13:40
it it just felt natural so I literally started
looking at sublets I started planning my digital
00:13:45
nomad route but then I was like okay maybe I'm
be a little too rash right now let me give it
00:13:48
some more time to think about it let me maybe
try and negotiate with work and then we'll just
00:13:51
see what happens but that was the second little
nudge that I got [Music] the final sign was my
00:13:59
apartment I had signed a 3-month sublet when I
first moved here and it was coming to an end I
00:14:03
tried to resign but that didn't work out I tried
apartment hunting with one of my roommates and
00:14:06
that also didn't work out I probably sent out like
100 messages and only two people even responded to
00:14:11
me and I became this close to signing a lease and
then it just fell through the cracks the days kept
00:14:15
passing and more and more stuff was not working
out the rental market in the summer is super
00:14:18
super competitive it just seemed like nothing
was working out in my favor so with less than 2
00:14:21
weeks left on my lease and I know that it's enough
time to find an apartment in New York like things
00:14:25
move really really fast here but then that little
voice in my head came back and was like actually
00:14:29
maybe this could be a good opportunity to do the
digital nomad thing I mean doing the digital nomad
00:14:34
thing didn't sound bad but was I about to start
doing it when my lease ended in 10 days like that
00:14:40
would be kind of crazy it just feels a little too
soon so I went to the park I ate some chocolates
00:14:44
to dig down deep and figure out what I wanted like
it was that serious and spoiler alert I decided
00:14:50
to go I think deep down I knew what I wanted I was
just really scared because it is a huge transition
00:14:55
but I decided that I'm going to leave New York
I don't know exactly where I'm going to go yet
00:14:59
but it's what I need to do first of all it's
just a really natural breaking point with my
00:15:02
lease ending plus I'm at a point in my life
when I have very few responsibilities my job is
00:15:06
remote I have no partner no pets no kids plus I'm
starting to near the end of my 20s I mean I still
00:15:11
have four years left but still and not saying
that I couldn't travel after my 20s but it just
00:15:15
felt like now or never and now couldn't be a more
perfect time and oh my gosh I almost forgot to add
00:15:21
guess what happened right after this that day in
Central Park when I decided to leave I decided to
00:15:25
give myself one more month in New York to just tie
up any loose ends logistics moving say goodbye to
00:15:30
my friends and as I was leaving the park 1 hour
later I got a text and the perfect sublet just
00:15:36
fell into my lap so I just took that as one more
added confirmation from the forces that be that I
00:15:41
was making the right decision so at this point I
already started to have a lot of external forces
00:15:45
starting to push me but none of them were really
dealbreakers they were just hints but while this
00:15:49
was all happening I had just as many signs to
stay in New York too things were really picking
00:15:53
up for me here I had so many opportunities flying
at me more than ever before I had met some of my
00:15:57
closest friends I booked my first performance gig
I met my flow community I met these two guys in
00:16:01
a bar and we started a podcast my sound healing
side business was taking off every single event
00:16:05
was selling out it was doing really really well I
got offered a job teaching yoga so I finally got
00:16:09
my foot in the door with teaching which actually
was a reason why I almost didn't move to New York
00:16:14
I was about to pivot into the fitness industry
back in Chicago but I ended up giving that up in
00:16:17
order to move to New York but I can get into that
story for another time the point is I finally got
00:16:21
an opportunity to start teaching and life was just
starting to get good but it was the whisper that
00:16:25
damn whisper that whisper that grows into a scream
and you know how I know I made the right decision
00:16:31
it's because the scream finally stopped sometimes
I like to think about listening to your intuition
00:16:35
almost like a compass like you're playing hot and
cold you go into one direction and if it feels
00:16:39
right then you keep going if suddenly everything
in your body feels wrong that scream in your head
00:16:43
starts then maybe you turn this way and it gets a
little quieter you turn a little more this way and
00:16:47
it gets a little quieter over the past few years
I have made an intentional decision to listen to
00:16:50
my gut more and make more decisions just based on
my intuition and has been a world of a difference
00:16:55
not only is making decisions much easier and
faster it does help me eliminate some of the
00:16:59
overthinking but don't get me wrong I overthink
this decision a lot and I also do want to make a
00:17:03
point here how I came to this decision was from
me listening to my gut but also listening to
00:17:08
signs from the universe which might seem like
that's two completely different things like
00:17:12
external things and then internal feelings but
I actually see them as the same thing like the
00:17:17
signs from the universe I think it depends on how
you interpret them a different me may have taken
00:17:21
those things as a sign that I need to get a new
roommate or live in a different neighborhood or
00:17:25
switch jobs or just take my career more seriously
and be more of an office worker I don't know but
00:17:29
I took those signs as a sign to leave because I
had already had this yearning deep down of the
00:17:34
digital nomad thing which I've always wanted to do
I like to think of it as similar to tarot cards if
00:17:38
you're familiar tarot cards are not necessarily
supposed to just tell you your future it unlocks
00:17:43
your intuition so seeing these cards and getting a
message can help you see a problem in a different
00:17:46
way and then maybe spark something in you that
allows you to make a better decision and realize
00:17:51
what you actually want deep down so I actually see
the signs from the universe and listening to your
00:17:54
gut as all the same thing it's all in the same
realm and don't get me wrong up until this very
00:17:59
day I have still felt confusion of should I
really go am I making the right decision I
00:18:03
have edited my plan a million times and eventually
I did come to a plan that felt right and I just
00:18:08
locked everything in I booked like 10 flights all
at once and we're going to go I actually agonized
00:18:14
this much about my decision to move to New York in
the first place as I did the decision to leave New
00:18:18
York and the truth is there is no such thing as a
right decision I'm certain that I would still be
00:18:23
really happy right now if I was living in Chicago
and I'm sure I would still be really happy if I
00:18:27
stayed in New York but what it comes down to is
getting really clear on your values and I know as
00:18:31
I've gotten older that the two main things that I
value are freedom and experience so it makes sense
00:18:37
why I'd want to be a free bird and just explore
the world at least for a little bit and the thing
00:18:41
about decisions is it's not that if you make the
right one then suddenly life will be easy it's the
00:18:46
act of choosing one path and then committing to
it and then just figuring it out from there you
00:18:51
make the best of what you choose and it's not
going to be easy either way and also I've just
00:18:55
kind of accepted that I think being in your 20s
is just being a constant state of confusion I know
00:19:00
that one day when I'm older I'm going to look
back and think back to the time when I was so
00:19:04
free and had so many options I could do literally
anything that I wanted that it was so hard for me
00:19:08
to decide and I'm going to look back at my younger
self and thank her for doing the brave thing and
00:19:13
seeking adventure and making the most of it
I do believe in general that if you are ever
00:19:16
stuck between staying and going you should go New
York is always going to be here but my youth isn't
00:19:22
I'm still so sad to be leaving New York honestly
it feels so soon and I I'm just not ready I was
00:19:26
sobbing in therapy earlier today because I'm just
going to miss my friends so much I have been in
00:19:30
New York for 152 days I'm coming out of this thing
a completely new person and I hope I come out of
00:19:36
this next adventure even more transformed I will
be documenting my entire process and the journeys
00:19:41
that I go on in this nomad era of my life I'm so
so excited I'm also so sad to be leaving I have a
00:19:49
lot of emotions today and this week and this whole
month actually it's so funny because I spent years
00:19:55
agonizing if I should move out of Chicago and then
when I finally did I was like yes I could finally
00:19:59
settle down and start my life here and now here
I am 5 months later picking it up all over again
00:20:04
I clearly don't know what's going on and I've
always struggled with where I belong in life I
00:20:08
feel like I've always kind of flit from place to
place I jump from hobby to hobby I want to try
00:20:13
out a million different careers I just want to do
everything and I'm even kind of a social butterfly
00:20:17
I don't know I guess maybe that's why I have this
underlying belief that nothing good in life is
00:20:22
permanent and you have to be ready for change
sounds kind of sad but I mean I guess it's true
00:20:27
and I guess it's helped me to not get too attached
to the good things of my life so I guess
00:20:34
that's it so here's to the new journey here's
to adventure here's to listening to your inner
00:20:40
guide and the signs of the universe and here's to
leaving when things were just about to get good
00:21:59
so now I'm sure you're wondering where I'm
actually going so if it wasn't clear by now
00:22:03
I'm going to give the digital nomad thing a shot
in 2 days I'm driving back home to the suburbs
00:22:08
of Chicago to just drop off all my stuff see my
family over the course of the next 6 months I will
00:22:12
be hitting South America Europe and Asia so if you
have any recs for any of these countries I will
00:22:17
put them all here please let me know I actually
haven't planned that many of the activities I'm
00:22:21
going to be doing yet so all those things are
still up in the air I have planned exactly all
00:22:25
the tattoos I'm going to get though I I have a
whole tattoo artist tour plan I'm going to get
00:22:29
a tattoo in every country and I'm so freaking
excited for it so yes I will be vlogging the
00:22:34
entire thing I'm going to be documenting all my
adventures I'm going to be traveling solo for
00:22:37
the majority of it but yeah this is happening
I'm so excited I hope you subscribe and follow
00:22:43
along and if you enjoyed this video give it a
like like for Kelly's return to YouTube this is
00:22:47
by far the biggest journey I've ever embarked
on the biggest risk I've ever taken in my life
00:22:53
I'm just really proud of myself honestly so I
hope it goes well and I'll see you out there
