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getting really good at talking with
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other people is the number one thing you
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can do to quickly improve your life do
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you want to make more money have a ton
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of friends and find a 10 on a 10 wife
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just learn how to speak well we all know
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those guys that can stroll into any room
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and immediately strike up conversations
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with random people while you may resent
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that guy for chatting up your crush
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while you just stood in the corner
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watching don't worry because by the end
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of this video you'll be that guy too and
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while this video is not specifically
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about talking to girls considering about
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98% of you from my last video were dudes
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I'm going to take a wild guess and
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assume you guys would also like some
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specific advice about talking to girls
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we'll get to that a bit later but first
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you need to understand how to actually
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have good conversations in general let's
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start with opening a conversation with
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anyone I'm going to keep this extremely
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simple just walk up and either give them
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a compliment make an observation ask a
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question or a combination of those three
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from here you'll see how receptive they
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are to talking and learn whether or not
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to keep going and this should be pretty
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obvious from their reaction from here I
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need you to become a fisherman what I
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mean is in those first few lines of
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conversation keep an eye on for
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commonalities or things you can expand
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upon for example if they say they're
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from Colorado and you're a skier then
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ask them about skiing because if they're
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from Colorado they're probably a skier
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you send your hook out to the Sea and
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wait for it to bite find those common
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points this is also how you keep a
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conversation going and never run out of
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things to say just keep searching for
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those points so you can expand on in the
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conversation if you find yourself at a
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roadblock where nothing really stands
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out either ask another relevant question
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or backtrack and say something about an
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earlier Topic in the conversation now
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let's move to the most important
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principle of being good at communicating
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simply allow the other person to do the
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vast majority of the talking think about
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it people's favorite thing to talk about
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is themselves so if you just let them do
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all the talking and make them feel
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special that person will walk away from
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the conversation thinking not only did
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they have a great time talking with you
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but that you're also an incredible
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conversationalist it's really cheesy but
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that's exactly why they say you have two
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ears and one mouth for a reason you may
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be thinking well conversations are a
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two-way street I'm going to have to talk
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at some point and you're right that's
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why the second most important principle
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of good conversation is learning how to
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tell stories if the other person asks
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you a question try answering it with a
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story it's 10 times more entertaining to
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listen to if you can tell stories well
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it's almost like putting the other
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person in a trance think about when you
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watch a really good movie and you're
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fully immersed in the characters this is
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exactly what happens when you learn how
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to communicate stories effectively but
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how do you actually tell good stories
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the best way to explain this is with an
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example of good versus storytelling
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in the exact same situation so we were
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at the door and all of a sudden a guy
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comes through the door with a knife in
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his hand he goes up to the register and
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starts demanding all the cash from the
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guy there then out of nowhere another
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customer hits the knife out of the
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burglar's hand and takes him to the
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ground so we're at Target just going
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about our day and out of nowhere some
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dude bursts through the door big ass
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knife in hand and goes right to the
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register I'm looking around watching
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this happen thinking I'm no paulart Mall
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Cop I'm not saving the day here cuz I
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don't want to get stabbed then all of a
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sudden I see this big dude must have
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been a bodybuilder or something like
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that rolls up up on this guy basically
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karate chops the knife out of his hand
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and takes us due to the ground craziest
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thing I've ever seen so of course you'd
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want to listen to The Second Story
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rather than the first one in the Second
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Story I implemented humor emphasize my
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tone use more descriptive language and
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most importantly immerse The Listener in
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the story my best advice for learning to
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tell good stories is just listening to
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podcasts and videos of great speakers
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than trying to talk in a similar way to
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them then just practice in the real
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world and see how people react the more
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you do it the better you'll get and
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before you know it you're the best
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Storyteller you know now the other
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principle for having great conversations
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is a little mindset hack that will make
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you feel more confident charismatic and
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outgoing I don't want to get too deep
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but understand that life out in public
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is all just theater everyone is like an
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actor in a movie they get ready in the
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morning to look their best for other
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people they smile at the neighbors
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because it would be rude not to and say
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thank you to the Barista at the coffee
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shop everyone is just playing a role in
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society and when you realize that
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everyone's just trying their best to act
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normal it takes a lot of pressure off
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your shoulders corporate life is theater
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dating is theater even friendships are
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theater so where am I going with this
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well stop trying so hard let the
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conversation flow say things
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unapologetically exaggerate how you
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speak nobody really cares that much and
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if you look at everything like a big
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game it's like a breath of fresh air
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from the monotony of daily life just
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have fun with conversations and if
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someone doesn't like that then F them
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they can go back to their boring lives
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without us a great trick for
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implementing this playfulness into
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conversations is pretending you're in a
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movie and a camera crew is filming your
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life how would you tell this story if
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this was a scene in a major Blockbuster
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movie I'm sure you'll make the story
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much more entertaining and the other
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person will love listening to you now
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for the moment all you guys have been
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waiting for learning the specifics and
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chatting with the ladies I'm not going
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to go super deep into this because this
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could be an entire video on its own but
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I'll run you through some of the basics
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in talking to a girl you find attractive
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use all the principles I've mentioned so
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far as the base of the conversation but
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there are three pillars that you need to
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focus on these are humor flirting and
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compliments starting with humor this is
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exactly how to make a girl feel
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comfortable around you and enjoy your
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company it's 2024 the first 5 minutes of
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any conversation with a random girl
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consist them testing the waters to
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ensure you're not a creep be funny don't
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be so serious and sure as hell don't be
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creepy next compliments and flirting I'm
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going to toss into the same bucket give
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one to two genuine compliments to a girl
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in the conversation this puts your
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intentions right out there in a very
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obvious way and the conversation will
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get a little bit tense or awkward just
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hold your frame and be confident in
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yourself then for flirting this is where
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you can have fun and playfully push away
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in an obvious way it's essentially just
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putting clear intentions out there then
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slightly retracting it for a playful
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banter it's like when you're hang out
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with the guys and call one of them an
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idiot it's just playful back and forth
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chat it keeps things interesting and fun
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the other aspect of talking with random
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girls is you have to be very Vigilant
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and looking for signs that the other
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person isn't interested you can be the
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top male model in the world and there
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will still be girls who just aren't
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interested that's life once you
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recognize this interest just say well it
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was lovely meeting you have a great day
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then simply walk away don't be one of
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those creepy guys who awkwardly tries to
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keep the conversation going or hangs out
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next to her after the conversation ends
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and honestly to start that's all you
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really need humor compliments flirting
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and knowing when to bounce everything
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else should be filled in by the other
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conversational skills that I've already
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talked about and that is it gentlemen
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now go out and be that guy that everyone
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loves having conversations with
