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[Music]
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my event occurred over a 2 or three day
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period it wasn't all at once uh I was
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flying missions I was stationed in
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Barbers Point at Barbers Point Naval Air
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Station uh on the island of aahu in
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Hawaii it was uh it was in
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1982 and it was during the rim pack
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exercise military exercise rim of the
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Pacific it's called it's the biggest
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military exercise in the world they do
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it every two years and it was my my air
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crew I have a whole team of guys I flew
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with uh we were on crew 6 flight crew 6
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so it was our turn to go fly Mission and
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it was it's a long range Patrol airplane
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so we were going out for a 12 13 hour
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flight and so this is a big 4 engine
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heavyweight turboprop airplane it weighs
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over 70 tons and uh so we took off and
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had full load of fuel we're at Max
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allowable takeoff weight um
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and we got it got to about 10,000 ft of
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altitude and had a malfunction on number
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one engine and we had to shut it down so
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we had to fly around for another 45
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minutes or so to burn down to Max land
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weight and because we're heavy we have
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to come in a lot faster than normal and
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because it's an emergency declared an
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emergency you have fire trucks emergency
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responding trucks on this literally on
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the side of the runway and they they
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here's the runway and they will park at
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an angle and as you go by on the runway
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they'll pull pull in behind you and
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chase you then there's two more down and
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they'll pull in after you go by them
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behind the other two on and so on
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there's usually six fire trucks three on
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each
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side and that's normally a good thing uh
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but today that day it was not uh so we
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were landing on Parallel runways and we
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landed on the left one it was 040 was
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the heading so we were landing on four
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left when the main mounts came down
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everything was okay when the nose gear
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touched down I believe the pilot
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Lieutenant lovren used uh the wrong
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Rudder and instead of correcting for a
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swerve that we expected to go to the
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right because you have two engines
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giving you reverse thrust on one side
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versus one on the other you expect a
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swerve you should put in left Rudder but
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he put in right Rudder and at those
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speeds we Departed the runway pretty
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much right away and and the problem with
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the fire trucks was they were sitting
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right there and we're headed directly at
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the one on the right side and um there's
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a guy on the water cannon on top with a
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fire fighter with the silver suit and we
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are headed directly at this fire
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truck I had death coming at me 150 plus
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mil an
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hour and there was absolutely nothing I
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could do about it and I remember
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thinking the last thing I was thinking
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was oh my God my son I had 2 and
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1/2-year-old son and I'm like I'm never
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going to see my son again and
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uh and about that time I everything
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started changing it was it went slow
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motion was really bizarre and my I had
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these different perspectives happen my
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soul leapt out of my body and now I'm
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out of the airplane with it looking down
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on I can see everything I know where the
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firet trucks are but I'm still in my
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engineer seat and I've got that
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perspective and then the I the right
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wing tip went over the front left corner
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of the firet truck I could see that guy
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on the water cannon screaming at the top
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of his lungs I couldn't hear him of
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course I'm in the plane but I could see
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him screaming in Terror and the number
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four propeller is spinning right the
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outboard rightand propeller and moving
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forward at 150 plus miles hour and it
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had to have gapped the front corner of
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that firet Tru that's how close we came
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to it as it spinning without hitting it
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and and I just there's a difference
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between I think I'm going to die and I'm
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dead and I know it there's a big
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difference in that and that's where I
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was at and so when I I was out of body
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about that time he went into reverse
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thrust and because we're on asphalt
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that's not planes don't normally travel
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on there's a lot of dust and debris out
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there and somewhere from somewhere this
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Pepsi can came up and shot across the
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windshield from left to right it
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probably
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took milliseconds right but I could it
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was slow motion I'm seeing this thing
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tumble Pepsi I could see Pepsi it's a
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Pepsi can 12 ounces I can see that the
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fluid coming out of it brown fluid and
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and then it atomized the fluid as it hit
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the air the wind that was hitting it the
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turbulence and uh uh I started focusing
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on the little bitty pieces of debris and
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then all of a
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sudden I didn't just have my outside
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perspective and the inside perspective I
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became the debris I was where every tiny
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piece of debris was uh all wrapping and
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rolling around each other but I had a
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360° bubble Vision view from every one
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of these millions of perspectives the
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tiniest piece of debris that was in the
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air and I'm totally confused You' think
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it would be chaotic right it was a bit
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confusing because I didn't understand
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what was going on really but it was
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there was this uh this Sublime
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Perfection going on everything was right
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where it was supposed to be doing
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exactly what it was supposed to be doing
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exactly when it was supposed to to be
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doing it and everything was perfect I
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had that I don't know how I knew that
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but I felt it it was more like a feeling
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and an understanding and knowing then
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but it confused me at the same time so
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all of this is going on and we're still
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cruising across the asphalt at an angle
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away from the runway the fire trucks
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have turned and they're catching up to
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us and all of them are starting to chase
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us um and we ended up all the way across
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the asphalt and ended up halfway on and
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halfway off runway four right so there's
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some slope on the edges of the runway so
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rain can run off and we had bounced up
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on that slope and uh the right main
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Mount and the nose gear were on the
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runway the left main Mount wasn't and
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we're kind of sitting like this when we
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got stopped and when we stopped uh my
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outer perspective of all these things
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just kind of
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went back into me and I was just me
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again and I'm like what the hell
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happened what was that like and I I want
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to say something but I don't know what
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to say I don't know how to say it and I
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look at Lieutenant Duffy in the right
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seat and he I saw him slump so I knew he
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just came off his adrenaline rush and
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when I came off mine I felt like I just
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ran five marathons back to back I was a
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young healthy 24y old physically fit and
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I was exhausted and uh I looked at him
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and watched him slump and he turns his
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head to look at me now we've got our
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eyes are we're looking eye to eye
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and I want to ask
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him did you have that too I was didn't
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know what to say I wanted to say
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something but I just couldn't say
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anything couldn't get it out and about
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that time I heard this noise behind me
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wo wo sound and watched Duffy's eyes
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shift over my shoulder to see what it
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was and I turned my head and Lieutenant
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lovren the guy the pilot L the guy he
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was a great pilot but he gooned The
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Landing that day uh he's in stress still
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and he's white knuckling the Yol and
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it's looking straight ahead and he's
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trying to say something you can see the
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stress in his face and he couldn't get
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it out and he's
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going W and he finally goes what the did
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I do wrong you know it's like I just
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couldn't believe that and
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uh and then the firet trucks caught up
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to us and we sat there for a few minutes
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uh trying to determine if everything was
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go okay if the plane was damaged or
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whatever and it wasn't and we added
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power pushed the power levers up and got
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up on the runway four right and rolled
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out and went to the hanger so I
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literally made a one approach and one
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Landing in a 4 engine heavyweight
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airplane doing a three engine emergency
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landing and I used two entirely
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different runways to do that with and I
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don't ever want to do that
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again I now know everything's a miracle
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but I didn't understand that at 24 I'm
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thinking I'm seeing my first miracle and
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so I went to bed that night and I said a
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simple prayer of gratitude thanking God
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for genuine gratitude my heart of
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letting me see a real miracle and then I
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added the words at the end that prayer
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and I just said and Lord it be nice if
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you could do something like that for me
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someday and you don't expect anything I
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mean why would you you know it's just a
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little prayer that lasted maybe 10
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seconds in your
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head and I went to sleep and uh sometime
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in the middle of the night uh we call it
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o dark3 in the military uh I don't have
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any idea what time it was 3: or in the
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morning something like that that all of
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a sudden I had an instantaneous shift in
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Consciousness I didn't go through a
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tunnel I didn't die I didn't do any of
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that it was boom next thing I know I'm
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in a black void and I'm seeing
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this golden white light beautiful
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magnificent
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gigantic pouring out energy and light
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and profound unconditional love that was
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hitting me filling me up and it was
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powerful the power that and I knew I was
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in the presence of my Creator I knew it
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and the love was
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unbelievable uh it's infinite power that
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that love controls and I knew that that
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this being did not want me to exist
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anymore and half a thought I'd be gone
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forever but there was this feeling of
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benevolence
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being no words were spoken to me this
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was all done with energy of emotional
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energy I don't even I can't explain it I
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don't know how to explain that but
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that's what was going on the benevolence
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was equally infinite and and was letting
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me know how precious I I was to this
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being and I felt like this is the best
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analogy I've been able to come up with
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yet over the decades it felt like it was
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the I was it was the end of the life of
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the universe and I was so
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precious that I was being loved held and
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cradled by every mother that ever lived
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everywhere every when all at once
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and I was just dumbfounded I couldn't
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believe what I was experiencing and as
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wonderful as that sounds as an analogy
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you need to understand
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this that analogy absolutely sucks it
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does not come close I could speak about
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this for a billion years Non-Stop and I
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would never be able to express it
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properly
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that's why it's ineffable and uh that's
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the best description I've been able to
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come up with so far um and
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um I said three words and just
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dumbfounded awe of uh what I was feeling
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and experiencing and I just said oh my
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goodness and the essence of goodness
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just just exploded through me ripped
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through everything of me and uh and then
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it was Joy and Bliss and ecstasy and
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peace and Harmony all on a cosmic scale
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and it was like when God when I first
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saw God or God saw me or whatever it
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like God God was insanely in love with
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me I had no idea love could be like that
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and it was like God thr a cosmic party
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there was no sound but there's this
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Cosmic party going on God's going
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everybody love Tony's back
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everybody
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and I was just
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oh it's 35 years ago and it still does
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that to me oh my
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God and I was home there was this energy
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that I knew I was home finally home and
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uh I think God did what he did next
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because he knew me and I'm an engineer I
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have a mind of an engineer I need proof
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I'm very pragmatic logical down toe kind
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of
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guy and if he had not done this um what
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he did next I would have probably
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written it all off as just a dream U but
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what happened next there's this moment
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in all of this happening when I was in
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the light where I had this what I call
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the urge to merge there's this deep
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instinctive desire to go be in the light
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it's all you want you don't want
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anything else I had a wife and a two and
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a half ye old son didn't even think
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about them you can't CU your
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Consciousness is just overwhelmed with
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all this and that's all you want is to
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go deeper in the light and when that
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happened I physically sat up in bed and
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had my arms out when I opened my eyes
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and my face is all wet and and then
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there was and I'm looking at at the foot
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of the bed at the wall at the other end
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of the room and there's no
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wall the the light is in my bedroom
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God's in my bedroom it was like a
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billion stars lit up the room and I
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could see my wife's feet out of the
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peripheral vision of my eyes and I knew
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she had her back to me but I'm thinking
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how can she sleep through this it's like
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bright as it can be in here how can she
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sleep for this and then I went this is
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real I had enough time to think this is
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happening I could got in my bedroom this
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is real and as soon as that happened and
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I knew it was real I was saying it in my
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head the it was like a 10 foot circle no
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wall it all went not in an instant but
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it came down and just kind of went to
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the center from the outer edges and just
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went went
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away and I I just went no I just I just
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lost the greatest love I'll ever know
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just got ripped away from me and I don't
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know why I didn't get to stay I don't
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know why it left I didn't know know
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anything I just sat there and the wall
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had this
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undulating spiritual energy or something
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in it for the rest of the night and I
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sat there and just watched the wall cuz
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that's all I had left of it and as the
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sun came up and the room slowly lit up
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it faded away and then my wife wakes up
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she sees me crying she goes what the
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hell is wrong with
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you oh I just cried and I was finally
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able to tell her everything and so uh
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you know and and so prayer is powerful I
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tell people that now but what I've come
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to understand is uh conscious prayer
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everybody knows and understands what its
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purpose is right what I Now understand
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is it's all thought is prayer and it
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affects the entire universe because of
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quantum
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entanglement so be careful what you pray
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for all day long so I'm learning these
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things and now I'm coming to the point
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of understanding why love and positive
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thoughts and all of that is so important
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and it's as I've changed my way of
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thinking I've literally changed my body
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and restoring my health doing it that
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way and be as being kind and loving as I
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can um and all that stuff was really
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cool and neat to learn but it really was
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a waste of time because all we have to
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do is just love God with all our heart
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and the way we do that is love each
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other unconditionally because God is in
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every one of us so when I'm loving you
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I'm loving God so if I'm not loving you
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I'm not loving God and so love God with
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all our heart love each other like that
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learn how to love unconditionally and
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take care of this planet if we all did
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that we have heaven on Earth right now