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[Music]
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[Music]
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there are a lot of things I can't do
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like I can't go out at night like to
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parties I can't like
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speak out in class I can't really stand
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up for myself because I don't people see
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that as a girl being disrespectful or
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just a wild crazy
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child I think that being a girl um can
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stop me from doing some things for
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example when you think about a plane you
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think about a guy as the pilot and a
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girl as the one who is catering the food
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and stuff like that and I think about
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when I become older I want to do like
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whatever I want to do
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and it doesn't contain whether I'm a
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girl or a
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boy when any girl do a mistake they
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always blame her because of her
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reputation not like a boy there a lot of
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things that a woman can't do and maybe
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some womens would love to do
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that I'd like to be treated the same as
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boys I like to wear what I want to
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without anything being expected of
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me and I'd like to go where I want do
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what I want wear what I want as well
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without anyone saying no you can't do
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that you're a
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[Music]
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girl want me to help you it's breakfast
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time at home in London on a dark winter
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morning I'm getting ready to take our
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2-year-old Esther to nursery and her big
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sister Alice to school right should we
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go off to Nursery now being a dad at the
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school Gates Isn't So unusual anymore
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but I'm still definitely in the minority
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and I should add I don't do this
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anywhere near as often as my wife does
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gender still has a huge influence on how
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we all live our lives and having two
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daughters has brought that into sharp
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Focus for
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me like any parent whether you've got
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boys or girls you always worry about the
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opportunities that they're going to get
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and the freedoms that they may or may
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not be able to enjoy and the more I
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think about it the more I want to
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explore why it is that actually most
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countries in the world have laws that
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prevent boys and girls and men and women
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being treated differently but actually
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their experience is that that still
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happens no country in the world has been
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assessed and declared to be gender
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neutral gender equal so I want to try
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and understand what it is about the
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social and cultural exchanges that these
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two have as they're growing up that
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maybe mean they don't have the same
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chance as a boy would
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they just think like oh she's a feminist
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you know she just H it's just like so
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annoying that's often the comment I get
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just oh like shut up just they don't
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bother to listen even when someone just
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shut you down like just like don't say
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that it's just like you kind of just
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like lose the willing to want to talk
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talk about it you
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know if you look at the most recent
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gender equality index from the world
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economic Forum this place Iceland is
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right at the top that means it's better
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than anywhere else when it comes to
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making men and women and girls and boys
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equal paternity and maternity rights are
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the same and recently boardroom quotas
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for women were introduced so on the face
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of it if you're a 15-year-old girl
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Iceland's As Good As It Gets you're on
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your own yeah I'm always home alone when
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I come
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home a woman is like expected to be like
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always well-dressed and and sexy and hot
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even but a guy isn't really expected to
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be that but when you're a girl people
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like they care way too much they're just
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like why is he wearing that why is he
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saying that everything is
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questioned okay ready to
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go it's Friday night vas's parents are
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already out and she's spending the
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evening at a local youth club where she
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often
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goes vigas is allowed to go out until
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11: p.m. sometimes even midnight and
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then she walks Home Alone down empty
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dimly lit streets I wonder if she and
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her friends realize how unusual that is
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we are aware of that it's it is unique
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that we can just go out and not another
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and my mom was actually just talking
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about it the other day that she wouldn't
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want to live anywhere else because then
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she would always be so worried
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about me not coming home you know when
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when I'm out with my friends until like
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11 or 12 but this must give you an
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amazing amount of Freedom about what you
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can do because you're not reliant on
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your parents to come and get you the
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whole time yeah I was in New York the
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other day and I couldn't go out to
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Central Park be because it was more than
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I think eight and I thought it was
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really weird after 8:00 p.m. that I
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couldn't go out and walk across Central
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Park
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and then we know that if we travel we
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have to be more careful we know
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[Music]
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that our parents are always afraid for
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us from uh the people from the society
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from everything outside uh and I think
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they like the idea of staying at home is
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better for
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us it's frustrating when you are at home
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and you really get bored because you
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can't do anything at home not like
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boys I've come to Jordan and you don't
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have to spend very much time here to see
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that girls and boys and women and men
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are performing quite different roles and
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I suppose my definition of gender
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equality has always been that girls and
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boys and men and women should be able to
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do whatever they want and I'm very
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interested in an alternative perspective
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which is that actually men and women are
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equal but they're also different and I'm
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really interested to have that
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perspective explained to
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me Jordan is ranked close to the bottom
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of the gender equality index just over
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10% of its parliamentarians are women
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and there's no legislation prohibiting
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gender
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discrimination
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the 15-year-old merera has equal access
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to education and her father Maran has
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high expectations of what she can
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achieve the women and girls are
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preparing the food and in a tradition
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that appears to cross cultures Maran
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takes charge of the
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barbecue do lots of men like cooking or
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you're a bit unusual uh well I like I
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like uh during vacation I like to cook
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to make give my wife more relaxation my
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kids and I enjoy to make barbecue
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actually now all children grow up with
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rules but being a Muslim girl in an Arab
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country merera has more than most but
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what would you do with more freedom I
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would
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smoke I would try to smoke because
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always boys when they get nervous or um
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get mad of um something they smoke so I
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would cigarettes yes you want to smoke
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cigarettes I
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would would you like to try
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smoking
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no in England it's quite normal for 15
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or 16-year-old girls to maybe have a
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boyfriend do you think
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that that's too much freedom for a girl
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when she's 15 or 16 I think it's too
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much freedom for a girl who is uh her
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age is 15 because um she's not a grown
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up to think what uh she wants in her
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life and what she should
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do do you guys talk about
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boys yeah
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sometimes if you said to your father I
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think I want to have a relationship when
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I'm 18 or
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19 what would your father say no I think
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he will disagree this idea he would will
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not like this
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idea I think he will kill
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[Laughter]
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me
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[Music]
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seem a lot of boys they will be like oh
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you a virgin and if a girl says yes
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they'll be like but you're 16 or you're
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15 like is it not
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time there's a lot of pressure on girls
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definitely in this country it's not a
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nice culture at
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all
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my 16-year-old Lulu lives in southeast
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London the UK ranks number 18 on that
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same gender equality index on average
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women get paid a third less than men for
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the same work and they make up 23% to
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Parliament certainly Lulu and her
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friends have much more freedom than mea
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to socialize with boys but they're fed
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up with how some boys are talking to
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them can I have your number no well
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you're a hoe then and then as soon as
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you say no oh you're a skank anyway
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little ho okay let just walk away you
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can either be a scank or [ __ ] one of
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three not putting in the number it's
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just that it's we're so used to it now
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yeah it's just just repeat every day
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yeah so it's like a thing where it's not
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even a big thing anymore or like they're
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just bragging oh yeah I did things that
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I beat her I banged her I banged her
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bang
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bangang the place where I was you see
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that park over there I B that four four
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times behind the ramp over
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there give up no I won't break
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down there are things I feel that girls
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can't do that boys are allowed to do
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because they're
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boys like ill behavior for example or
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just Clowning Around in class I feel
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like it's more for the guys than it is
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for the
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[Music]
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girls and I prefer to
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keep quiet because it feels like it's
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more of the guys that are supposed to be
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loud and Rowdy and all that lutu ranks
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16th on the gender equality index making
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it two places higher than the UK women
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here don't have inheritance or custody
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rights and abortion remains illegal but
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it's judged to be the most equal country
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in subsaharan Africa they don't allow us
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to
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go and her friendo appear unimpressed by
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that always tell us that boys do have
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their way and you know if if like a boy
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I use with his parents it's not
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that but if you're a girl and then you
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do that they'll be like this girl is
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so so not well behaved we can't exactly
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stand up to our parents I still have
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that fear of being disrespectful if I
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try to stand up for it so I just keep
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quiet and just let it go because you
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can't say anything you're not allowed to
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voice out your opinion as a girl you
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know you'll have that shameful thing
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like yes I'm a lady yeah it's fine Mommy
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if you don't if you don't want to hear
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me out it's
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fine so yeah that's how it
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is in Jordan views about how girls
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should behave extend to the activities
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that they should or shouldn't do we're
00:13:00
watching mea's brother sad play
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basketball taking Parts not an option
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for
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mea do you think that some people think
00:13:08
that girls are too weak or too precious
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to play certain Sports yes of course
00:13:15
because they always say this games are
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is only for
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boys they are
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not good for
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girls what do you think about that I
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don't think it's fair because
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um there's a lot of Po girls um can play
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much better than the boys
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MH sometimes I wish if I were a boy for
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these
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things do you sometimes get bored yes a
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lot of times a lot of times
00:13:52
yeah I wonder how you think when you
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just look at a group of guys like this
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and these people you're not allow owed
00:13:59
to be around normally but they're just
00:14:02
normal young people does it seem
00:14:04
sometimes a bit strange that yes of
00:14:07
course there all these rules that stop
00:14:08
you going anywhere near them yes of
00:14:11
course because uh we at the end we are
00:14:15
all humans
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and it's strange for me to not talk with
00:14:22
them and see how they think how they
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live their
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life s is 21 and he lives at home but he
00:14:31
goes out when he wants comes home when
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he wants smokes in fact he appears to do
00:14:36
just about as he pleases so why can't
00:14:38
his
00:14:40
sisters it's not fair but I don't know
00:14:42
why it's it's a issue it's need needs so
00:14:45
I don't
00:14:46
know why so you've had it maybe you've
00:14:49
had it a bit easier than the girls yeah
00:14:51
of course I'm I'm living my life as I
00:14:53
like yeah does your dad have any rules
00:14:55
about sports you can't play or things
00:14:58
you can't yeah he have rules but I break
00:15:00
it always you break the
00:15:02
rules do you think Jordan will change
00:15:05
hope think so maybe after 100 200 years
00:15:09
maybe after 100 200 years
00:15:15
okay so basketball is out pull the
00:15:19
trigger but mir's Dad Maran says there
00:15:21
are plenty of other activities open to
00:15:23
girls in Jordan that are more
00:15:27
appropriate shooting for
00:15:30
example I prefer girls to to choose a
00:15:34
soft uh games than a tough games maybe
00:15:39
it would be hurt or something like that
00:15:42
girls are more uh soft more cute and you
00:15:45
know you have to take care of them and I
00:15:49
will start merera and her dad play back
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gamon a lot and here as usual marwan's
00:15:55
winning and while he's concentrating on
00:15:57
his moves Mira wants to know why she has
00:16:00
to ask permission to socialize with
00:16:01
other girls I told you about a girl I
00:16:05
don't want to mention her name I don't
00:16:09
like that girl because I feel that she
00:16:11
is not a good girl I don't want you to
00:16:15
move around with that girl because she
00:16:19
is a nauy girl she's not a oy you don't
00:16:24
know she is uh more liberal than I than
00:16:29
I want my daughter to
00:16:32
be a liberal girl in marn's eyes is one
00:16:36
who goes out with whomever she pleases
00:16:38
and doesn't wear the hijab but his
00:16:40
daughters are growing up and is
00:16:42
interested to know more about her
00:16:44
father's views on boyfriends and
00:16:49
marriage if I find find some person I
00:16:53
want to get married uh with him and they
00:16:58
you don't like him and I insist that
00:17:02
what will what your reaction will be if
00:17:05
you insist about a person you want to
00:17:08
get married uh you will take your I will
00:17:11
talk to you frankly and honestly uh and
00:17:16
freely uh if I find you insist and you
00:17:21
have to write to do to choice and to
00:17:23
decide but if I find that you will not
00:17:27
oby me in this matter you will take that
00:17:30
responsible alone I mean I will not
00:17:34
support you in getting married someone I
00:17:37
don't
00:17:41
like what stands in the way
00:17:44
of women being equal to men
00:17:50
is for the most part is our
00:17:53
culture there's a stereotype of women
00:17:58
have having to stay at home do the
00:18:01
cleaning take care of the children and
00:18:03
the men going
00:18:09
out but these stereotypes are tough to
00:18:11
shift partly because in some cases
00:18:14
people believe they're true this comes
00:18:16
up as I walk through maser's main Market
00:18:18
with's mom masakona
00:18:22
the mother will look after the baby much
00:18:26
more is more capable of it's in a better
00:18:29
way than a father would do that a mother
00:18:33
would raise a child from Early Childhood
00:18:36
take care of the baby dress the baby
00:18:38
bait the baby it's not not to say that
00:18:40
the father doesn't help with that he he
00:18:43
he does help but I believe the mother
00:18:46
does a much better job doing that and
00:18:49
you see you're saying that and I have to
00:18:50
confess I'm bristling slightly because I
00:18:53
understand that I can't breastfeed a
00:18:56
baby but apart from that I don't
00:18:58
understand why I can't bring it up just
00:19:00
as well
00:19:02
as a mother can I I'm not saying you
00:19:05
can't bring it up you can but it's in
00:19:08
the
00:19:09
mother more than it is in the father you
00:19:12
say
00:19:13
that women just have a different role in
00:19:16
the home because they're mothers because
00:19:19
that is what they are put on Earth to do
00:19:22
but do you think that belief in some way
00:19:25
reinforces stereotypes about what men
00:19:27
and women women should
00:19:29
do which perhaps create problems for
00:19:32
girls and women it does it does
00:19:35
unfortunately
00:19:39
does it's 8:30 in the morning and SCH is
00:19:42
beginning another day at school 30% more
00:19:45
women in lutu are literate than men
00:19:48
they're also getting more professional
00:19:51
jobs but this success is not appealing
00:19:54
to
00:19:56
everyone why would you you do if like
00:20:00
you got married to a woman who had like
00:20:03
uh her career was bigger than yours or
00:20:05
she had a bigger job than you guys did
00:20:07
she brought in more money than you guys
00:20:09
did how would that make you feel first
00:20:11
of all I wouldn't marry a woman who has
00:20:14
who's bigger than why right she's going
00:20:17
to control me and no I wouldn't mind in
00:20:20
our culture that is in our culture that
00:20:22
is just not allowed would just not part
00:20:25
of the culture that that pushes the
00:20:27
stereotype that everybody has right I
00:20:29
wouldn't mind as long as I have my own
00:20:31
job also if if I'm working if my wife is
00:20:34
working and I don't work then that be I
00:20:37
can't have that yes cuz she's earning
00:20:39
more than me my role as a my role as a
00:20:41
man in the family is what I don't have a
00:20:43
proper role anymore culture and
00:20:46
tradition are often used to justify
00:20:48
something that appears to be
00:20:49
contributing to gender inequality the
00:20:52
girls want to talk about labala this is
00:20:54
a custom in lutu where a Man's family
00:20:56
gives money or cash house to a woman's
00:20:59
family ahead of marriage do you think
00:21:01
that's right then like taking out the Cs
00:21:05
thing yeah it's culture then what can
00:21:08
you see because you are marrying that
00:21:09
someone you can't even take someone tell
00:21:11
for free can you must pay so you have to
00:21:14
beay okay so it's basically like a
00:21:16
business if I have a daughter and I'm
00:21:19
going to give her and I'm going to give
00:21:20
my daughter to you I better be
00:21:22
compensated somewhere I have to yeah
00:21:25
bring me money bring me the cows I I
00:21:27
find this really disrespect respectful
00:21:28
it's like you're it's like you're buying
00:21:33
me well this is uh quite a scene isn't
00:21:36
it if there are many more beautiful
00:21:38
views in the world I don't think I've
00:21:39
ever seen them we've just come about an
00:21:42
hour's drive out of miseru
00:21:45
and it's in and amongst this
00:21:47
extraordinary Countryside that the vast
00:21:49
majority of people in lutu live and for
00:21:51
many
00:21:52
who live and earn their living in
00:21:55
villages like this one their lifestyle W
00:21:58
have changed a great deal over the years
00:21:59
people still tend to cattle they still
00:22:01
grow crops and this particular Village
00:22:04
is where's great uncle lives and we
00:22:07
wanted to come out here because I've had
00:22:09
lots of conversations in lutu already
00:22:11
just in my few days here where people
00:22:13
have said to me well the reason we can't
00:22:14
treat boys and girls and men and women
00:22:16
exactly the same is because we've got
00:22:19
Traditions which we don't want to change
00:22:21
that we must
00:22:24
respect sh's great uncle and Aunt have
00:22:27
lived in this area since
00:22:29
1958 as the family Elder her uncle would
00:22:32
be the one to negotiate the price of the
00:22:34
labola if she was getting
00:22:37
married if schw turned around in 20
00:22:40
years time and said I'm getting married
00:22:44
I found a fantastic man I think he's
00:22:45
going to be a great husband a great
00:22:47
father if we have children but I really
00:22:49
don't want you taking money from his
00:22:51
family I feel
00:22:52
like I'm being
00:22:54
sold how would you react to that I will
00:22:57
ask her this the question you really
00:22:59
think I was sold when
00:23:03
I when my family got um Lola from your
00:23:08
father's family do you think I was
00:23:10
sold when she becomes 21 or whatever she
00:23:15
can basically do whatever she wants
00:23:17
she's free to she's free to do but if
00:23:19
she brings a problem to problem to us
00:23:23
and we're going to decide for we'll tell
00:23:26
you what to do you'll tell what to do
00:23:29
mhm but she's free to do she's free
00:23:31
pleases but so you'll tell her what to
00:23:33
do but she can ignore you she doesn't
00:23:36
sound very free how free is she when
00:23:39
she's being told what to do by saying
00:23:42
that you would actually tell her what to
00:23:43
do aren't you really taking away her
00:23:45
freedom to decide I won't tell her what
00:23:48
to do I will tell her what is supposed
00:23:52
to
00:23:54
happen I've been thinking quite a lot
00:23:56
about marriage and this tradition here
00:23:57
in lutu of a Man's family paying a
00:24:00
woman's
00:24:02
family when they get married and lots of
00:24:05
people have said to me you know this is
00:24:06
just a tradition I believe in equality
00:24:07
it's just a tradition don't read
00:24:09
anything into it I suppose if I'm honest
00:24:11
I was a little bit skeptical about that
00:24:13
but I've been thinking about how I
00:24:15
organized my marriage to my wife and I
00:24:19
propose to her because that really is
00:24:21
the traditional thing to do in the UK
00:24:23
and she took my name when we got married
00:24:25
and again I think if you had asked us
00:24:27
we' have said well of course we believe
00:24:29
in gender equality
00:24:31
absolutely this is just a tradition it's
00:24:33
just something that happens
00:24:35
but just thinking about it in the last
00:24:37
24 hours I wonder if
00:24:40
perhaps they AR just simple traditions
00:24:42
whether they do have consequences as
00:24:56
well
00:25:00
I think people around me expect me to do
00:25:04
really good things when I become older
00:25:07
if you're a woman and you kind of like
00:25:09
don't do anything great just
00:25:12
like like below average maybe that is
00:25:16
that is just like fine and maybe people
00:25:18
will be disappointed but if I if I were
00:25:21
a guy I think I think it's more accepted
00:25:25
if you like don't do great things in
00:25:27
life
00:25:28
vas's dad Christian and her older
00:25:30
brother yoger are helping to prepare an
00:25:33
impressive Saturday morning Feast
00:25:35
Iceland's a country that's pushing hard
00:25:37
for gender equality but some of the old
00:25:40
expectations haven't gone away so the
00:25:42
freedom to do whatever you want can
00:25:45
actually mean trying to do an awful lot
00:25:47
more I think you can you know pursue
00:25:50
your dreams without getting
00:25:53
uh you know punished by the
00:25:56
society maybe it's a matter of you know
00:25:59
you're free to do all of your dreams as
00:26:01
long as you still do all the other
00:26:03
things right yeah maybe maybe maybe
00:26:05
that's sort of the pressure because
00:26:08
responsibility is always added to women
00:26:11
yeah yeah but more and more you know
00:26:13
young people decide to live alone so
00:26:16
it's getting more common that you just
00:26:18
pursue your own life without any
00:26:20
constraints of the family
00:26:24
or I just wonder if Iceland's trying to
00:26:26
create a situation where women can work
00:26:28
in exactly the same way as
00:26:30
men but it's not ready to let go of the
00:26:34
idea that it should be women who are in
00:26:36
charge at home so right there's a double
00:26:40
pressure there which men are not exposed
00:26:41
to absolutely I think I think that's
00:26:45
absolutely right
00:26:47
yeah and when it comes you know
00:26:50
especially when the kids are at the
00:26:51
young age you know for the first two or
00:26:53
3 years you know sometimes think I think
00:26:56
of uh when I think about the the girls
00:26:58
you know my
00:27:00
daughters having a man will only only
00:27:02
slow them down and having a man will
00:27:04
only you know get their life more
00:27:07
difficult than it should be because they
00:27:10
put a lot
00:27:12
of I'm afraid they will put a lot of
00:27:14
press pressure on them and uh to behave
00:27:18
in a certain way and to do things in a
00:27:21
certain way because I want them to have
00:27:25
uh the freedom of you know do what
00:27:28
exactly what they like to
00:27:35
do I really believe that iand is going
00:27:37
in the right direction and that maybe
00:27:40
even in in like five six years when I'll
00:27:44
will be all grown up and and work in a
00:27:48
company or something that I will for
00:27:50
example get the money that I earning and
00:27:53
and people will judge me for who I
00:27:56
am but but for all vas's optimism her
00:27:59
mother thought this has a
00:28:02
warning I I have to admit that I thought
00:28:06
there was a
00:28:08
equality against men and women when I
00:28:11
was at your age
00:28:14
yeah I was very
00:28:17
stupid but I think because that I have
00:28:20
opportunity to go to high school
00:28:22
universities Etc then I thought it was
00:28:26
coming must and and the society was
00:28:28
telling me that it was okay that this
00:28:31
was not for any debate or we shouldn't
00:28:33
be discussing about it because it was
00:28:35
obvious that if I were good enough then
00:28:39
everything is okay so just just
00:28:42
depending on how good I am yeah and I
00:28:44
thought okay if I'm going to good enough
00:28:46
then I will go all the way we are so you
00:28:49
know we are one of the best countes in
00:28:51
the world according to this but still we
00:28:54
are we have so many yeah we have so many
00:28:57
many things to fix and exactly exactly
00:29:00
yeah and it takes a long time because uh
00:29:03
it's only top of the iceberg that we see
00:29:05
and everything is underneath is so
00:29:08
you're so much part of us and nobody
00:29:12
actually knows how to fix it or what to
00:29:14
do
00:29:18
no I went into the class and it was me
00:29:20
and another girl there and about 11 boys
00:29:24
12 boys because the rest of the girls
00:29:27
went in um and the teacher went out of
00:29:30
the room for about 5 minutes and we were
00:29:32
just working doing our Vis Vision um and
00:29:36
one of the boys went oh look there's
00:29:37
only two girls in here and love One
00:29:39
shout out out gang
00:29:43
rape London is one of the most
00:29:45
Multicultural cities in the world this
00:29:47
is a market just down the road from
00:29:49
Lulu's house and there are people from
00:29:51
all over shopping and working as well
00:29:54
and while I wouldn't for a minute
00:29:55
suggest that the UK has dealt with
00:29:57
racism as a problem it has made huge
00:29:59
strides in the last 30 or 40 years and
00:30:02
to make a racist comment or Express a
00:30:04
racist opinion is completely
00:30:06
unacceptable now but then I listen to
00:30:09
Lulu and it sounds like sexism is
00:30:13
absolutely pervasive in her life and I
00:30:15
don't get the impression that that is
00:30:17
being challenged in some way it's almost
00:30:19
become
00:30:24
acceptable chicken takeaways are every
00:30:27
everywhere in London and a teenage night
00:30:29
out will often feature one as we eat
00:30:31
Lulu's friend beatric tells us about
00:30:33
something that happened earlier today um
00:30:36
I was I was sitting in class and between
00:30:39
these two boys and they were just um
00:30:43
they were telling me how bad they want
00:30:44
they want to sleep with someone but then
00:30:46
they would like commenting about how
00:30:48
they would like sleep with me and then n
00:30:51
um n have you seen that porn um video
00:30:54
have you seen that porn video oh yeah
00:30:56
yeah I'll do it like that I do like that
00:30:59
and then um was like mate wait what's
00:31:02
happening what's happening no just can't
00:31:05
it's a joke and I I got really angry
00:31:07
actually there's a lot of boys that
00:31:08
their parents will never ever ever talk
00:31:10
to them about anything like that and the
00:31:12
only place they learn about sex is on
00:31:14
porn and so that's the only idea they
00:31:15
have of it and they don't know what real
00:31:17
sex is so if they're with a girl that's
00:31:19
what they expect the girl to be like and
00:31:21
real girls a like them stand day but
00:31:24
what about the boys do Lulu's mates Bob
00:31:27
and Zach think that their regular
00:31:29
consumption of porn affects how they see
00:31:31
girls and women boys do watch
00:31:34
porn do you watch porn yeah yeah it just
00:31:39
happens like you know I don't think it
00:31:41
affects how we we view women it's just a
00:31:46
thing you do yeah but I I'd say it
00:31:50
brings your standards up a bit still
00:31:52
like when you see girls with porn star
00:31:54
bodies you just like yeah want that one
00:31:56
and I think it also puts a a pressure on
00:32:00
cuz you know there's a lot of dirty [ __ ]
00:32:03
that goes on to like all that stuff
00:32:06
actually people want to do that like
00:32:08
talk to me about for instance like the
00:32:10
verb to beat which presumably for anyone
00:32:12
over the age of 25 means nothing now so
00:32:15
if you're going to beat a girl you're
00:32:16
going to have sex with
00:32:18
her it's the same as sex really yeah I'm
00:32:22
going to beat you I'm going to have sex
00:32:23
with you it's not got any meaning to it
00:32:26
really it's not like oh yeah you're
00:32:27
going to have sex really violently or
00:32:29
whatever it's just you're just to have
00:32:31
sex casually and if I brought a group of
00:32:34
girls here around your age and said and
00:32:37
they said to you just stop it stop the
00:32:39
ratings stop the jokes stop the comments
00:32:42
about my appearance I don't want any of
00:32:44
it it's not making us feel good all
00:32:46
right then would you listen yeah all
00:32:49
right cool I wouldn't wouldn't comment
00:32:50
on them I just be like all right then
00:32:52
cool and then they probably missed the
00:32:56
the compliment
00:32:58
cuz I that's your point right Zach that
00:32:59
actually some of them like this yeah
00:33:01
some of them do like this I think I
00:33:05
mean they like they they'll sort of deny
00:33:08
the like that they like the attention
00:33:10
but realistically who doesn't like
00:33:14
positive attention
00:33:16
yeah you always want to look nice you
00:33:18
always wanted people to notice that you
00:33:20
look nice so yeah if they if they didn't
00:33:22
want to look nice stop wearing makeup in
00:33:24
college you know what I mean it's if
00:33:26
you're not bothered about your
00:33:27
appearance you don't want people to
00:33:28
comment on your appearance don't wear
00:33:30
makeup don't dress yourself up yeah
00:33:33
[Applause]
00:33:37
completely a man approached me from
00:33:39
behind and at midnight grabbed me from
00:33:41
behind and at first I froze I didn't
00:33:44
know what to do and before I'll be like
00:33:46
oh yeah I'll fight anyone off that say
00:33:47
does anything but it's that moment where
00:33:49
you're stuck where you
00:33:51
can't as a teenager in London Lulu has
00:33:54
to be StreetWise and like VI this her
00:33:57
Freedom isn't restricted by her parents
00:34:00
but where they differ is that Lulu has
00:34:02
to be constantly aware of her
00:34:04
environment her mom Daisy thinks there's
00:34:06
more danger now than when she was
00:34:08
growing up I think I just sort of try
00:34:10
and reinforce to her to you know think
00:34:14
carefully about who she's hanging around
00:34:16
with and make sure she knows who they
00:34:19
are and who they're friends with
00:34:21
and to
00:34:23
um always keep her wits about her
00:34:29
I think it's definitely harder to be a
00:34:31
teenage girl today when I was growing up
00:34:34
I could go out when I was 16 or 17 with
00:34:36
a group of friends who were girls out
00:34:39
clubbing and drinking and would have a
00:34:43
good time we could walk home together
00:34:45
and be relatively safe um but certainly
00:34:49
these days I wouldn't let my daughters
00:34:50
walk home at 2:00 in the morning with a
00:34:53
group of girls I think there are far too
00:34:55
many scary men out there really because
00:34:58
of influences from the internet and porn
00:35:02
particularly and I would definitely see
00:35:04
a lot of them as
00:35:06
[Music]
00:35:11
Predators marn's beliefs are deeply
00:35:13
rooted in
00:35:15
Islam any parents love for their
00:35:17
children is going to translate into a
00:35:19
desire to protect them and inevitably as
00:35:21
kids grow up there's a tension between
00:35:23
our desire to protect and their desire
00:35:26
for a few more
00:35:29
freedoms but what's interesting
00:35:31
listening to Marwan is that he isn't
00:35:33
just concerned with protecting mea from
00:35:35
harm he's also worrying about her
00:35:37
reputation and his fam's what follows is
00:35:41
a definition of equality that says girls
00:35:43
and women are equal but
00:35:46
different and this is not seen as
00:35:48
something which might evolve or can be
00:35:50
challenged but something which is
00:35:55
fixed
00:35:58
sounds incredible huh oh it's nice
00:36:00
because when I see the the way that
00:36:03
Meera is living there are lots of things
00:36:06
that she can't do that a 15-year-old boy
00:36:09
could do she can't like what like what
00:36:12
she can't meet with friends without your
00:36:14
permission yes and she can meet her
00:36:17
friends but I have to know uh the the
00:36:20
family because I don't like to have a
00:36:24
relationship with extreme liberal family
00:36:28
is it more important to protect their
00:36:31
reputation and to respect your religion
00:36:34
than it is for them to be equal in
00:36:39
society
00:36:41
uh you can say yes yes so actually it's
00:36:45
more important that they're safe that
00:36:47
they have a good husband that they have
00:36:49
a secure home that's more important than
00:36:52
whether they're equal to men and boys
00:36:55
right uh in our country in our
00:36:59
traditions and culture if a a girl is
00:37:02
more too liberal I I think men's uh in
00:37:07
general they don't like a liberal family
00:37:10
or liberal woman they they want a
00:37:14
conservative uh lady or woman or wife
00:37:17
because they feel more trusty with her
00:37:20
they feel that uh she doesn't have uh a
00:37:24
love relation before she will give more
00:37:28
attention and care and love for her
00:37:31
future
00:37:33
[Music]
00:37:40
husband despite living thousands of
00:37:42
miles apart being from very different
00:37:44
backgrounds Meera Lulu vigdis and schw
00:37:48
are all frustrated that their societies
00:37:50
think that girls need to be kept out of
00:37:52
Harm's
00:37:53
[Music]
00:37:55
Way
00:37:58
but in lutu there are high rates of rape
00:38:01
and the third highest prevalence of HIV
00:38:03
in the world that would concern any
00:38:06
parent and affect the rules that they
00:38:08
set it is very easy to succumb to such
00:38:13
pressures from the boy to get involved
00:38:16
in sex before you are even
00:38:19
ready to to get involved in in sexual
00:38:24
relationships like that
00:38:29
and it it it is very troubling to me as
00:38:34
a mother as I'm sure it is to many other
00:38:38
mothers that you will not
00:38:41
be
00:38:43
um um strong enough to you know
00:38:48
to to say no there's also the risk of
00:38:54
HIV and AIDS
00:38:57
you may not get
00:39:00
pregnant but the disease is
00:39:04
Rife and no parent myself included would
00:39:10
like to find their child in a position
00:39:13
where they are HIV
00:39:16
positive one mistake one mistake can
00:39:19
change your whole
00:39:22
life we want to learn caution is of
00:39:25
course no bad thing in some
00:39:26
circumstances but in others it may be a
00:39:29
hindrance I'm spending an evening at
00:39:31
Lulu's theater group in southeast London
00:39:34
sometimes the girls seem resigned to
00:39:36
inequality and lacking something or
00:39:38
someone to inspire them to take it on
00:39:42
can you name
00:39:43
me a female role model do you think
00:39:45
there's an example of what I could be
00:39:51
Beyonce who
00:39:53
else um I forgot her name but she she's
00:39:56
a female astronaut what about political
00:39:59
Role Models any female politicians you
00:40:01
can name in general Inspire honest I
00:40:04
don't really know some to be honest I
00:40:06
would to be Barack Obama even if it was
00:40:08
a man could you could you name a could
00:40:10
you name a high-profile female
00:40:13
politician
00:40:14
isue and it's not only men who stand in
00:40:18
the way mothers and sisters can also
00:40:20
reinforce the reasons why men and women
00:40:23
should be treated differently you know
00:40:25
that this is the way that my father
00:40:28
raised us and my mother raised us uh to
00:40:32
be that the woman or the girl at General
00:40:37
uh her her uh position is at home to
00:40:41
raise her children to do home homeworks
00:40:46
you know it's not about uh uh being fair
00:40:50
or unfair uh it's about uh that we have
00:40:54
to get used to this uh these rules
00:40:58
around us this is the the life that we
00:41:01
we live You Know M you have to get
00:41:06
used something vigis doesn't want to get
00:41:09
used to is that still sometimes she
00:41:11
struggles to be taken
00:41:13
seriously would you say that you're a
00:41:16
feminist yeah the word feminist people
00:41:20
don't look at it as it is and people
00:41:23
have like they they just hear the word
00:41:25
feminist and just think oh she's going
00:41:27
to talk about how women should have
00:41:29
equal rights for 2 hours I don't even I
00:41:33
don't even bother seeing tonight I'm not
00:41:35
going to give her a break no and I just
00:41:37
I just bother I don't even bother to
00:41:38
listen to her but it it shouldn't be
00:41:40
that you should be proud to be a
00:41:42
feminist it's should be thing yeah yeah
00:41:45
but my experience is that there are so
00:41:49
many
00:41:51
hindrances
00:41:52
treasured for women there is a glass
00:41:57
roof that um we need to break yeah I I
00:42:02
have been trying to do it for you but I
00:42:04
probably need your help to to go through
00:42:08
yeah yeah I see I'm I'm counting on you
00:42:12
no no
00:42:13
[Laughter]
00:42:18
pressure the lack of any countries in
00:42:21
the world where men and women are equal
00:42:23
is mirrored by the almost total absence
00:42:25
of any one will say that they shouldn't
00:42:28
be we say everyone's equal but all the
00:42:31
while we're helping to perpetuate or at
00:42:33
least tolerate status quo which is
00:42:35
making sure that that doesn't happen and
00:42:38
if I've learned anything while making
00:42:39
this program is that if Alice and Esther
00:42:42
and everyone else is going to be equal
00:42:44
in this world we can't just wait for
00:42:46
gender equality to magically appear it's
00:42:49
going to take millions of individual
00:42:51
Decisions by parents by teachers by boys
00:42:54
and by girls themselves and I guess that
00:42:57
comes down to priorities just how much
00:42:59
do we want this to happen where does
00:43:01
gender equality fit in versus our
00:43:04
traditions and our beliefs but let's not
00:43:07
kid ourselves here it's not law or
00:43:10
education that's standing in the way of
00:43:12
equality it's primarily
00:43:25
us
00:43:34
w
