confidence baby

00:45:32
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_IlpgUvlS8

Ringkasan

TLDRIn this episode, Farah explores the concept of confidence, distinguishing between external and internal forms. She critiques common superficial advice on building confidence, arguing that true confidence is rooted in self-esteem. Farah emphasizes the importance of self-love and the need to value oneself, suggesting that confidence is not merely a facade but a reflection of one's inner worth. She discusses the impact of social media on self-perception and encourages listeners to embrace their unique journeys, trust in the process of life, and recognize that confidence is a small part of a larger picture.

Takeaways

  • 💡 Confidence is rooted in self-esteem.
  • 🧠 There are two types of confidence: internal and external.
  • 📱 Social media can distort self-perception.
  • ❤️ Self-love involves deep internal work.
  • 🔍 True confidence is not just an external display.
  • 🌱 Building self-esteem is crucial for confidence.
  • 🤝 Trusting external factors can provide reassurance.
  • 🛠️ Impostor syndrome stems from feeling undeserving.
  • 🌈 Embrace your unique journey in life.
  • 💪 Personal responsibility is key to self-care.

Garis waktu

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker introduces the topic of confidence, expressing a desire to make the audience uncomfortable while discussing it. They emphasize that confidence is often misunderstood and that they aim to provide a deeper perspective on the subject.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The speaker distinguishes between external and internal confidence, arguing that many common discussions about confidence are superficial and fail to address the deeper issues of self-esteem that underpin true confidence.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    The speaker elaborates on the concept of external confidence, suggesting that it involves trust in something beyond oneself, such as a higher power or the universe, which can provide a sense of purpose and assurance in life.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The discussion shifts to the importance of self-esteem as a foundational element of confidence, highlighting that self-esteem is often overlooked but is crucial for building genuine confidence.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    The speaker emphasizes the need for self-love and self-acceptance, arguing that negative self-talk can lead to self-abuse and that true self-love involves deep internal work and healing.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    The speaker discusses the relationship between self-esteem and how one interacts with others, noting that a person with high self-esteem tends to create a positive environment for those around them.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    The speaker addresses the impact of social media on self-esteem, suggesting that constant comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy and that it's important to cultivate a healthy perspective on what one sees online.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    The speaker reflects on the idea that confidence is not merely a tool for achieving goals but is instead a part of the journey of self-discovery and understanding one's values and boundaries.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:32

    The speaker concludes by reiterating the interconnectedness of internal and external confidence, encouraging the audience to embrace both aspects in their lives.

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Peta Pikiran

Video Tanya Jawab

  • What is the main topic of the podcast?

    The main topic is confidence, particularly the distinction between external and internal confidence.

  • How does Farah define confidence?

    Farah defines confidence as being rooted in self-esteem and emphasizes that it is not just an external display.

  • What are the two types of confidence discussed?

    The two types are external confidence (trust in outside entities) and internal confidence (self-esteem and self-worth).

  • What role does social media play in self-esteem?

    Social media can distort self-perception and lead to unhealthy comparisons, affecting self-esteem negatively.

  • What is self-love according to Farah?

    Self-love is about doing the deep internal work to heal oneself and valuing one's own worth.

  • How does Farah suggest we build confidence?

    By focusing on self-esteem and understanding that confidence is a part of a larger picture.

  • What is the relationship between self-esteem and confidence?

    Self-esteem is foundational to confidence; higher self-esteem leads to greater confidence.

  • What does Farah say about impostor syndrome?

    She discusses how impostor syndrome can stem from feeling undeserving and emphasizes the importance of self-affirmation.

  • What is the significance of trusting external factors?

    Trusting external factors can provide reassurance and help alleviate anxiety about outcomes.

  • What is the takeaway regarding personal responsibility?

    Taking responsibility for one's own self-care and self-esteem is crucial for overall well-being.

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Teks
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Gulir Otomatis:
  • 00:00:01
    so you want to be
  • 00:00:03
    confident I hate videos that s like that
  • 00:00:05
    but really guys I thought of everything
  • 00:00:07
    imaginable that is all I could come up
  • 00:00:09
    with so that's how I'm going to start my
  • 00:00:11
    video you guys want to learn about
  • 00:00:13
    confidence hello everybody it's Farah
  • 00:00:16
    the hippier podcast also known as
  • 00:00:19
    uncomfortable truth today I'm going to
  • 00:00:21
    be making you so
  • 00:00:24
    uncomfortable that is the goal well that
  • 00:00:26
    has always been the goal like forever
  • 00:00:28
    and ever and well always be the goal
  • 00:00:31
    some people in the comment section are
  • 00:00:33
    always like what you said made me
  • 00:00:35
    uncomfortable I'm like wow I'm so glad
  • 00:00:38
    you reached that conclusion read the
  • 00:00:40
    title of this podcast and it doesn't
  • 00:00:43
    take two brain cells to figure out why
  • 00:00:45
    that is okay H but no really I want to
  • 00:00:49
    make you like like shaking in your
  • 00:00:52
    chair not in that way but you you get
  • 00:00:55
    the gist so today we're going to be
  • 00:00:57
    talking about confidence now you may be
  • 00:00:58
    thinking what what type of yes yes I
  • 00:01:03
    have confidence in the fact that I can
  • 00:01:05
    speak what confidence can I learn from
  • 00:01:07
    this vas first of all that's a very good
  • 00:01:11
    resemblance that you picked up I do look
  • 00:01:13
    like a China
  • 00:01:16
    vas it was intentional second of all
  • 00:01:19
    okay it's exactly the fact that I show
  • 00:01:23
    up like this and speak the way that I
  • 00:01:25
    speak that signifies just how much
  • 00:01:28
    confidence I have now the question is is
  • 00:01:31
    it misplaced confidence you know
  • 00:01:34
    confidence that was put in the wrong
  • 00:01:37
    Arena maybe you know but I haven't like
  • 00:01:41
    that's all that matters but today more
  • 00:01:43
    than anything honestly I'm here to give
  • 00:01:46
    you a different perspective of
  • 00:01:47
    confidence
  • 00:01:49
    because I don't know about you guys but
  • 00:01:51
    when I come on YouTube and I search up
  • 00:01:53
    confidence how to gain confidence how to
  • 00:01:56
    build up your confidence it's very very
  • 00:02:00
    superficial stuff it doesn't really go
  • 00:02:03
    that deep it's all like work on things
  • 00:02:07
    that you're good at uh build up your
  • 00:02:09
    habits and go to the gym and
  • 00:02:12
    exercise uh yada y y and all is good
  • 00:02:15
    right I mean that is part of the truth
  • 00:02:18
    part of what constitutes you know
  • 00:02:21
    building
  • 00:02:22
    confidence but that's a very small part
  • 00:02:25
    of the picture in my opinion that's kind
  • 00:02:29
    of like
  • 00:02:30
    the extra stuff that you do at the top I
  • 00:02:32
    think that confidence comes in two forms
  • 00:02:37
    there's external confidence and there's
  • 00:02:39
    internal confidence now I'm going to be
  • 00:02:41
    talking about that a little bit more
  • 00:02:43
    deeply later in this episode but first
  • 00:02:46
    of all let's get some misconceptions out
  • 00:02:48
    of the way okay first of all the loudest
  • 00:02:52
    person in the room does not signify
  • 00:02:55
    confidence and I know it's ironic
  • 00:02:58
    because I'm loud
  • 00:03:01
    but I'm just saying in general we often
  • 00:03:04
    associate like the loudest person in the
  • 00:03:06
    room or the person that's like dressed
  • 00:03:08
    in this like really daring fashion to be
  • 00:03:12
    like the most confident daring person in
  • 00:03:15
    the room like they have the most
  • 00:03:16
    confidence they're brave enough to do
  • 00:03:19
    what they do but like that's people
  • 00:03:22
    attribute it like it they're a symbol of
  • 00:03:24
    confidence you could say they radiate
  • 00:03:27
    confidence they have conf confidence
  • 00:03:30
    sure but they're not a symbol of it and
  • 00:03:33
    like we often Mis associate that or
  • 00:03:35
    disassoc mis
  • 00:03:38
    associate guys uh imagine I said that
  • 00:03:41
    correctly I have the confidence that you
  • 00:03:43
    can imagine that what I'm trying to get
  • 00:03:45
    at is I think we have this skewed image
  • 00:03:48
    of confidence uh that it's really just
  • 00:03:52
    an outside
  • 00:03:53
    thing it you show it on the outside and
  • 00:03:56
    you see people having it purely on the
  • 00:03:59
    outside side but I'm here to argue that
  • 00:04:01
    there is such a thing as modest
  • 00:04:03
    confidence confidence that doesn't
  • 00:04:06
    scream like look at me even though I do
  • 00:04:09
    that sometimes it's more so confidence
  • 00:04:12
    that's like so instilled in a person
  • 00:04:17
    that they don't even have to prove it to
  • 00:04:19
    anybody but everyone knows that that
  • 00:04:22
    person is confident or that person is
  • 00:04:25
    like
  • 00:04:27
    really well situated within them eles
  • 00:04:30
    they're very comfortable within
  • 00:04:31
    themselves you know they're comfortable
  • 00:04:33
    being who they are that is what the
  • 00:04:37
    modest kind of confidence is they don't
  • 00:04:39
    have to prove it to anybody it screams
  • 00:04:41
    on its own without them having to do the
  • 00:04:44
    screaming and this kind of confidence
  • 00:04:46
    that I'm talking
  • 00:04:47
    about isn't even about confidence now
  • 00:04:51
    this is going to shake your world I'm no
  • 00:04:54
    it's not but I wanted to make this video
  • 00:04:57
    about confidence and I was I was
  • 00:05:00
    literally researching our confidence I
  • 00:05:01
    was like
  • 00:05:03
    confidence but like the more I dug
  • 00:05:07
    deep and the more I read and and saw and
  • 00:05:11
    heard and listened the more I started to
  • 00:05:14
    understand that the conversation was
  • 00:05:16
    never about confidence confidence is
  • 00:05:19
    like a part of the picture but it really
  • 00:05:22
    was never about confidence or I guess
  • 00:05:24
    the confidence that we kind of discuss
  • 00:05:29
    or we think of when we talk about
  • 00:05:31
    confidence you know that like calm that
  • 00:05:35
    reassured in yourself being like really
  • 00:05:39
    comfortable in who you are it was never
  • 00:05:42
    about
  • 00:05:42
    confidence I think it was more about
  • 00:05:44
    self-esteem this entire time and of
  • 00:05:47
    course no one's going to tell you that
  • 00:05:49
    that the base under layer and like the
  • 00:05:53
    fundamental foundational structure and
  • 00:05:57
    it's like integral to confidence is your
  • 00:06:00
    self-esteem and we brush off self-esteem
  • 00:06:04
    like like self-esteem yeah whatever but
  • 00:06:08
    confidence confidence is like 1% of the
  • 00:06:10
    picture self-esteem is where the juice
  • 00:06:13
    is at guys and I'm going to be talking
  • 00:06:16
    about self-esteem today in hopes that
  • 00:06:19
    you understand the link between
  • 00:06:21
    self-esteem and confidence because
  • 00:06:24
    they're they're almost like
  • 00:06:27
    interdependent I would as said I would
  • 00:06:30
    rather say confidence is dependent on
  • 00:06:32
    your
  • 00:06:33
    self-esteem now as much as we like to
  • 00:06:35
    talk about confidence and self-esteem
  • 00:06:37
    and like this picture of the inner
  • 00:06:39
    workings of the human being and like our
  • 00:06:42
    psyche and everything I think there's
  • 00:06:45
    something that we miss a lot and we
  • 00:06:48
    don't talk about this side of things
  • 00:06:51
    because it's almost like
  • 00:06:54
    contentious and it's like personal we
  • 00:06:56
    don't like to get into people's business
  • 00:06:58
    when we talk about this now like I said
  • 00:07:00
    before there's internal confidence and
  • 00:07:02
    there's external
  • 00:07:04
    confidence now I wanted to touch on
  • 00:07:07
    external confidence and what that means
  • 00:07:09
    I rudely got interrupted by a special
  • 00:07:12
    guest same
  • 00:07:16
    ya yeah that works too I think there's a
  • 00:07:19
    whole separate field this whole separate
  • 00:07:23
    Arena of the conversation that we don't
  • 00:07:25
    even touch on and well we touch on but
  • 00:07:27
    we don't know that it's connect Ed and
  • 00:07:30
    that is external confidence the
  • 00:07:32
    confidence and the trust that you place
  • 00:07:35
    on an external entity something outside
  • 00:07:39
    of yourself some people call it God some
  • 00:07:41
    people call it themselves some people
  • 00:07:43
    think that they themselves are all they
  • 00:07:48
    need and that's like that's a very
  • 00:07:51
    common way of thinking with I wouldn't
  • 00:07:54
    say necessarily atheists but like that
  • 00:07:57
    is a general way of thinking that you AR
  • 00:07:59
    in control of things some people call it
  • 00:08:02
    the universe whatever it is but that
  • 00:08:05
    there
  • 00:08:06
    is supposed to be confidence and Trust
  • 00:08:10
    placed on something that you are not
  • 00:08:12
    capable of changing or you're not in
  • 00:08:15
    charge
  • 00:08:16
    of because at the end of the day there's
  • 00:08:19
    8 billion people with free will free
  • 00:08:22
    will to do whatever they want whatever
  • 00:08:24
    they please of course there are certain
  • 00:08:28
    obligations in place and human trust and
  • 00:08:32
    loyalty loyalty codes in place but like
  • 00:08:36
    at the end of the
  • 00:08:38
    day probability and statistically
  • 00:08:42
    speaking there has to be an external
  • 00:08:45
    entity and we have to place trust in it
  • 00:08:47
    because if there's that many people and
  • 00:08:50
    things haven't gone Haywire it's because
  • 00:08:52
    something is in place to keep it from
  • 00:08:55
    going haywire and you have trust in that
  • 00:08:58
    and I I think this idea ties back to a
  • 00:09:01
    video I made a long time ago titled what
  • 00:09:03
    is meant for you will find you and this
  • 00:09:06
    is the kind of confidence that you know
  • 00:09:10
    for a fact that everything happens for a
  • 00:09:13
    reason and nothing is just random
  • 00:09:17
    because if everything was just
  • 00:09:19
    random your sense of purpose is going to
  • 00:09:21
    be a little bit shaky it's going to be
  • 00:09:24
    hard to
  • 00:09:25
    navigate with purpose and with a with a
  • 00:09:29
    M that everything is going to be fine
  • 00:09:31
    it's like this external confidence is
  • 00:09:34
    kind of to assure yourself that
  • 00:09:35
    everything is okay even if it isn't but
  • 00:09:39
    like your brain won't really function
  • 00:09:42
    all that well if it doesn't feel like
  • 00:09:44
    everything is okay it's going to be like
  • 00:09:48
    overworked or exhausted trying to take
  • 00:09:50
    into account every single thing that
  • 00:09:51
    could go wrong unless you just tell it
  • 00:09:54
    everything is okay everything is fine
  • 00:09:56
    everything is taken care of but you're
  • 00:09:58
    not the one in charge of that and so I
  • 00:10:01
    think this external confidence is what a
  • 00:10:03
    lot of people miss when they want to
  • 00:10:06
    talk about confidence and it's even when
  • 00:10:09
    you do something that was not planned
  • 00:10:12
    but that it had a purpose you have
  • 00:10:15
    confidence that what happened had a
  • 00:10:17
    purpose and that it serves you it
  • 00:10:20
    doesn't necessarily have to be the case
  • 00:10:22
    but you can go far if you convince
  • 00:10:24
    yourself that way you know and it's not
  • 00:10:26
    really a fake it till you make it thing
  • 00:10:28
    it's more
  • 00:10:30
    like when you're confident in yourself
  • 00:10:34
    and you're also
  • 00:10:36
    confident about the external entity that
  • 00:10:39
    you place your trust on these two come
  • 00:10:42
    together you feel like you can do
  • 00:10:44
    practically anything and I'm not going
  • 00:10:45
    to see her and tell you you're going to
  • 00:10:47
    be unstoppable no we have our human
  • 00:10:49
    limits unfortunately I tried but but
  • 00:10:52
    it's just combining these two I think is
  • 00:10:55
    what makes you
  • 00:10:57
    almost truly in a way in a way
  • 00:11:02
    Unstoppable because for me personally if
  • 00:11:05
    I if I didn't have Islam if I was a
  • 00:11:08
    Muslim if I didn't know about a Creator
  • 00:11:12
    the Creator Allah and I didn't know
  • 00:11:15
    about his you perfect names and
  • 00:11:18
    attributes and I didn't know who Allah
  • 00:11:21
    was and why we're here I'd have a hard
  • 00:11:24
    time figuring out why my inside would be
  • 00:11:29
    the same why my confidence would even
  • 00:11:32
    breed on the inside like like where
  • 00:11:34
    would I even get that confidence from
  • 00:11:36
    it's almost like I take my confidence
  • 00:11:38
    from the fact that everything is going
  • 00:11:40
    to be okay and then I am set to do
  • 00:11:43
    whatever I want to do or whatever I feel
  • 00:11:46
    like I have to do or I'm called to do it
  • 00:11:50
    almost feels like it's no longer
  • 00:11:52
    something I want to do it's like a
  • 00:11:53
    responsibility like for example this
  • 00:11:56
    podcast I can talk about how much I want
  • 00:11:59
    to make this podcast like it was
  • 00:12:01
    something I wanted to
  • 00:12:03
    do but to me it it wasn't always like a
  • 00:12:07
    hobby sort of thing in my brain it was
  • 00:12:09
    more like a calling like in my
  • 00:12:13
    head there was this idea that kept
  • 00:12:16
    saying this is a
  • 00:12:18
    responsibility you know and so when I
  • 00:12:21
    hear this voice in my head saying this
  • 00:12:23
    is a responsibility and this is also a
  • 00:12:26
    gift and this is also an opportunity
  • 00:12:30
    it's like okay I need to be the kind of
  • 00:12:33
    person that is able and capable for the
  • 00:12:36
    job you know and that inside is like
  • 00:12:40
    what prepared me so it was never about
  • 00:12:43
    confidence it's not like I'm going to be
  • 00:12:45
    confident it's like no I have to do this
  • 00:12:48
    thing I'm sorry if I'm going all over
  • 00:12:50
    the place but this is this is actually
  • 00:12:52
    kind of a complex idea that I'm trying
  • 00:12:54
    to deliver like I don't think I'm doing
  • 00:12:56
    an amazing job at it like trying to to
  • 00:12:58
    tell you exactly what I mean but at the
  • 00:13:01
    end of the day what is meant for you
  • 00:13:03
    will find You is kind of the exact
  • 00:13:06
    phrasing that encapsulates everything
  • 00:13:08
    that I'm trying to say this podcast was
  • 00:13:10
    meant for me all along and I have trust
  • 00:13:13
    in that I'm confident that that is the
  • 00:13:16
    case so by default in a way I'm
  • 00:13:20
    confident that I'm up for the task I'm
  • 00:13:22
    up for the job you know if I wasn't sure
  • 00:13:26
    if I didn't feel like if if I felt like
  • 00:13:28
    there was some kind of impostor syndrome
  • 00:13:31
    like why would I have a podcast you know
  • 00:13:34
    everyone can have a podcast it doesn't
  • 00:13:36
    even matter you know if I had that way
  • 00:13:38
    of thinking and is my podcast even going
  • 00:13:40
    to be successful is it going to reach
  • 00:13:42
    people are people actually going to
  • 00:13:44
    listen I'm going to be like shaky in the
  • 00:13:47
    way that I deliver my messages I'm not
  • 00:13:48
    going to be confident I'm going to be
  • 00:13:51
    second guessing everything I say but
  • 00:13:54
    because I feel like this podcast was
  • 00:13:56
    meant for me from the day I was born it
  • 00:13:59
    was written for me far is going to have
  • 00:14:01
    a podcast on this day from this day to
  • 00:14:04
    this day I'm confident that this was
  • 00:14:07
    meant for me all along so I'm going to
  • 00:14:09
    deliver it the best way that I can and I
  • 00:14:13
    actually touched on something that I
  • 00:14:14
    really wanted to explore even further I
  • 00:14:16
    accidentally tunneled my way into the
  • 00:14:18
    conversation of impostor syndrome I'm
  • 00:14:21
    not mad about that and the thing I
  • 00:14:23
    wanted to say about impostor syndrome
  • 00:14:24
    it's more like the attitude of fake it
  • 00:14:27
    till you make it
  • 00:14:29
    now we know the phrase fake it till you
  • 00:14:32
    make it we been new okay we hear that
  • 00:14:34
    phrase all the time and I mean I'm not
  • 00:14:38
    going to sit here and argue that's a bad
  • 00:14:40
    way of thinking I think it has its place
  • 00:14:44
    I think it has its place the thing is
  • 00:14:47
    sometimes we feel like we are not
  • 00:14:50
    deserving we feel like we're we're
  • 00:14:54
    imposters like imposter syndrome we feel
  • 00:14:56
    like we kind of faked it a little too
  • 00:14:58
    hard right but there it has its place in
  • 00:15:01
    the sense that you can use it only for
  • 00:15:06
    yourself cuz you're not trying to
  • 00:15:08
    convince others you're not faking it in
  • 00:15:10
    front of others you're almost trying to
  • 00:15:14
    convince yourself in a way so I think
  • 00:15:16
    the phrase in and of itself is actually
  • 00:15:18
    not that good it it needs to be tweaked
  • 00:15:21
    a little bit but what it gets at
  • 00:15:24
    is kind of act like you are it before
  • 00:15:28
    for you are it and what one of the best
  • 00:15:31
    examples I can give you is in training
  • 00:15:33
    in the gym if you want to train like an
  • 00:15:36
    athlete and you're not an athlete you're
  • 00:15:38
    like a freaking couch potato and you're
  • 00:15:41
    like I want to be an athlete you have to
  • 00:15:43
    fake it at some point you at the start
  • 00:15:46
    you have to make yourself think that
  • 00:15:48
    you're an athlete really even though you
  • 00:15:51
    can barely do a push-up and you can
  • 00:15:54
    touch you can't touch your toes while
  • 00:15:55
    standing that's okay but if you want to
  • 00:15:58
    become an athlete in your head you put
  • 00:16:01
    you write you burn into your brain I am
  • 00:16:04
    an athlete and you could be 300 lb it's
  • 00:16:07
    not a problem it's okay you know but you
  • 00:16:10
    put in your head I'm an athlete I'm an
  • 00:16:12
    athlete and you actually do the things
  • 00:16:15
    that athletes
  • 00:16:16
    do granted that you're actually doing it
  • 00:16:19
    you know healthfully and everything but
  • 00:16:22
    like you actually put the work
  • 00:16:25
    in see that's what they call fake till
  • 00:16:27
    you make it but you're not actually
  • 00:16:29
    Faking It you you're just you're
  • 00:16:31
    starting out you don't look like how you
  • 00:16:33
    want to look like that's fine you're not
  • 00:16:36
    training how you want to be training
  • 00:16:37
    like you know you're training at a
  • 00:16:40
    little bit of a lower intensity but
  • 00:16:41
    that's just because you are how you are
  • 00:16:45
    right now but this whole game of putting
  • 00:16:48
    in your head I am already this thing it
  • 00:16:52
    just it it takes you miles further
  • 00:16:56
    without you even actually trying
  • 00:16:59
    obviously granted that you're putting
  • 00:17:01
    the work in like again I'm literally I'm
  • 00:17:03
    going to take it back to this podcast
  • 00:17:05
    24/7 because I because at some point I
  • 00:17:08
    thought that I wasn't supposed to have a
  • 00:17:10
    podcast I was like why me of all people
  • 00:17:13
    should I have a podcast but I realized
  • 00:17:15
    this podcast was bigger than me like I'm
  • 00:17:18
    I'm part of a bigger picture it's it's
  • 00:17:21
    it wasn't about the podcast you know
  • 00:17:23
    what I mean my thinking was a little bit
  • 00:17:24
    skewed but when I started podcasting you
  • 00:17:28
    know
  • 00:17:28
    I wasn't sure I was like hesitant but
  • 00:17:32
    when I put in my brain I'm like I'm a
  • 00:17:34
    podcaster i podcast this is what I do my
  • 00:17:39
    brain immediately switches like okay
  • 00:17:40
    let's be conversational we can do this
  • 00:17:43
    it's it's not lying to yourself per se
  • 00:17:46
    it's just telling yourself you are
  • 00:17:48
    something and then doing exactly what
  • 00:17:51
    those types of people do you know like I
  • 00:17:55
    am a
  • 00:17:57
    nutritionist no that's a bad example
  • 00:17:59
    don't do that don't do that I tried
  • 00:18:02
    counting macros that's not fun but you
  • 00:18:04
    get what I'm trying to say I'm an
  • 00:18:06
    athlete you go train like an athlete I'm
  • 00:18:08
    an architect you go drop a really bad
  • 00:18:11
    picture of a house I okay it works in
  • 00:18:15
    some things and not in others but you
  • 00:18:18
    hopefully get what I'm trying to say
  • 00:18:19
    moving on now I want to talk about
  • 00:18:22
    internal confidence now I'm not going to
  • 00:18:25
    be talking about confidence I said that
  • 00:18:26
    before I'm going to be talking about
  • 00:18:27
    self
  • 00:18:30
    and here's one thing that I learned that
  • 00:18:33
    I didn't know or I guess I didn't think
  • 00:18:35
    about too much in Arabic self-esteem is
  • 00:18:43
    called and that is almost like your self
  • 00:18:46
    right self coming from
  • 00:18:49
    selfesteem uh and esteem is what you
  • 00:18:51
    hold something is when you hold
  • 00:18:53
    something in higher
  • 00:18:54
    regard um but in Arabic I think it is
  • 00:18:57
    SLE a lot more neatly it encapsulates a
  • 00:19:00
    lot more and
  • 00:19:04
    it's that means giving value to the
  • 00:19:10
    value of so if you translate it directly
  • 00:19:14
    it's like the value of the self and
  • 00:19:17
    that's so much nicer than self-esteem
  • 00:19:19
    self-esteem in essence I read this from
  • 00:19:22
    a book somewhere I'll tell you guys the
  • 00:19:24
    definition and then I'll tell you what I
  • 00:19:25
    think so I read yesterday
  • 00:19:28
    that self-esteem is a dynamic subjective
  • 00:19:33
    event rather than any static tangible
  • 00:19:36
    thing that can be directly and easily
  • 00:19:39
    observed and measured this is by Gail
  • 00:19:42
    lindenfield I'm guessing UK from a book
  • 00:19:45
    that I read yesterday literally titled
  • 00:19:47
    self-esteem that was the title really
  • 00:19:50
    cut to the chase you know she's not
  • 00:19:52
    playing games but I really like that
  • 00:19:56
    definition I love it
  • 00:19:59
    but as much as I love it I think just
  • 00:20:01
    the word in Arabic itself speaks more
  • 00:20:05
    it's like it talks about self-esteem and
  • 00:20:09
    far more volumes and far more depth just
  • 00:20:13
    by the word in
  • 00:20:15
    Arabic the value that you place on the
  • 00:20:19
    self now that goes to say how do you
  • 00:20:22
    value yourself what do you think about
  • 00:20:24
    yourself let me be the person to say and
  • 00:20:28
    this I don't know if it's going to make
  • 00:20:30
    you
  • 00:20:31
    uncomfortable but is important for you
  • 00:20:34
    to
  • 00:20:35
    ponder and it's the fact that what you
  • 00:20:38
    think about
  • 00:20:41
    yourself is like one of the most
  • 00:20:43
    important things that you have to
  • 00:20:46
    address if you're going to address
  • 00:20:48
    self-esteem if you're going to address
  • 00:20:50
    the the value of yourself and what you
  • 00:20:53
    contribute and even who you are
  • 00:20:56
    but what you think think about
  • 00:20:59
    yourself is almost directly associated
  • 00:21:02
    with your quality of
  • 00:21:05
    life because if you don't think nicely
  • 00:21:09
    about yourself if you talk bad to
  • 00:21:14
    yourself if
  • 00:21:16
    you if you don't hold yourself in that
  • 00:21:19
    high regard and you don't respect
  • 00:21:21
    yourself and you think you can respect
  • 00:21:24
    people that's okay but when you're with
  • 00:21:26
    yourself you're honest and you're brutal
  • 00:21:28
    and you're cruel if you think you can do
  • 00:21:32
    that
  • 00:21:34
    then you're abusing yourself this is
  • 00:21:37
    called
  • 00:21:39
    self-abuse you're hurting yourself and
  • 00:21:42
    you're kind of like making your home
  • 00:21:45
    your home is your body an abusive home
  • 00:21:49
    it's like an abusive household but you
  • 00:21:51
    are the household that's why selft talk
  • 00:21:55
    and you know this I guess Rising
  • 00:21:59
    popularity of selflove but you know we
  • 00:22:02
    don't I don't think have the right image
  • 00:22:04
    of selflove self- love guys is not
  • 00:22:06
    spending $300 on skincare routines and
  • 00:22:09
    stuff okay that's not what self Love Is
  • 00:22:13
    self- Love is really it's deep internal
  • 00:22:15
    work that's that will make you cry
  • 00:22:17
    sometimes okay that will leave you a
  • 00:22:19
    little bit
  • 00:22:21
    confused and and you have your wounds
  • 00:22:25
    exposed and open and but you have to
  • 00:22:28
    heal them that's what self Lov is is
  • 00:22:31
    actually doing the work to heal those
  • 00:22:33
    wounds but it's it's a process cuz you
  • 00:22:36
    first need to identify what the wounds
  • 00:22:38
    are and then you have to know what is
  • 00:22:41
    the best way to heal those wounds and
  • 00:22:43
    then you have to put the time and effort
  • 00:22:45
    in to heal those wounds which can take
  • 00:22:47
    up to months and years for some people
  • 00:22:50
    depending on what the wound even is and
  • 00:22:52
    who the person is it's
  • 00:22:54
    like that's what self love is is
  • 00:22:57
    literally showing up for
  • 00:22:58
    yourself and that's directly associated
  • 00:23:01
    with how you think about yourself and
  • 00:23:03
    how you talk to yourself and I know this
  • 00:23:05
    is all hippie dippy sometimes you know
  • 00:23:08
    me personally when I used to listen to
  • 00:23:10
    this stuff when I used to hear this
  • 00:23:12
    stuff people talking about self talk and
  • 00:23:16
    self-love and self resect and all of
  • 00:23:18
    that I was like that's really
  • 00:23:20
    stupid that's dumb it's not like it's
  • 00:23:23
    dumb I'm just like that's hippie dippy
  • 00:23:25
    and I'm not playing with that stuff
  • 00:23:28
    that's just like it's it's too
  • 00:23:30
    romanticized for me you know what I mean
  • 00:23:32
    that's cuz they did romanticize it but I
  • 00:23:34
    think that when you understand the true
  • 00:23:38
    essence of it when you understand the
  • 00:23:39
    importance of it because at the end of
  • 00:23:41
    the day who do you have
  • 00:23:44
    yourself yes you can have all of these
  • 00:23:46
    people but you really in essence you
  • 00:23:49
    have yourself I mean for us Muslims we
  • 00:23:51
    have a lot you know we we know that
  • 00:23:54
    we're not alone you know but for for
  • 00:23:56
    everybody in general if we're going to
  • 00:23:57
    speak in general terms at the end of the
  • 00:23:59
    day you only have
  • 00:24:02
    yourself and so if you only have
  • 00:24:04
    yourself who are you spending your time
  • 00:24:06
    with with
  • 00:24:07
    yourself who is that person that you're
  • 00:24:11
    you know sitting with when you're by
  • 00:24:14
    yourself you know so that's why in a
  • 00:24:18
    way and this is going to sound really
  • 00:24:20
    sad but you have to find a way to be
  • 00:24:23
    your own best
  • 00:24:25
    friend like you can talk to yourself you
  • 00:24:28
    can think like you know ambitious things
  • 00:24:32
    with yourself and be encouraging within
  • 00:24:36
    yourself like you are a self-feeding
  • 00:24:39
    system you know with a positive feedback
  • 00:24:42
    loop like you can do it on your own
  • 00:24:46
    obviously people are there and they can
  • 00:24:48
    help you and everything and that's
  • 00:24:50
    beautiful it's a beautiful thing to have
  • 00:24:52
    these relationships with people CU you
  • 00:24:54
    can make something way bigger and
  • 00:24:56
    something much more creative and outside
  • 00:24:59
    of what you
  • 00:25:02
    imagined but at the end of the day you
  • 00:25:04
    do have to be
  • 00:25:06
    self-reliant that is what a person with
  • 00:25:08
    high self-esteem is is that they're
  • 00:25:10
    self-reliant they trust themselves they
  • 00:25:13
    can depend on themselves they know that
  • 00:25:15
    they will be there for themselves
  • 00:25:18
    they're not going to let people step
  • 00:25:20
    over them and put themselves aside for
  • 00:25:23
    other people no if they need something
  • 00:25:25
    if if they are in desperate need
  • 00:25:27
    something they will do the uncomfortable
  • 00:25:30
    task of cancelling things to show up for
  • 00:25:33
    themselves and that's not
  • 00:25:36
    selfishness so many times I see people
  • 00:25:39
    correlating that with selfishness like
  • 00:25:42
    showing up for yourself is being selfish
  • 00:25:44
    why do they tell us to put the mask on
  • 00:25:47
    first in the airplane before putting it
  • 00:25:49
    on our freaking child which is our like
  • 00:25:52
    our most prized possession I'm not
  • 00:25:54
    saying children are possessions but why
  • 00:25:57
    do they tell us to put the mask on
  • 00:25:59
    ourselves first because if you don't
  • 00:26:01
    help yourself first how are you going to
  • 00:26:03
    help
  • 00:26:05
    people and it's a really harsh truth and
  • 00:26:09
    I I hate to be the one to say it and
  • 00:26:13
    it's honestly it's when you say it it
  • 00:26:16
    doesn't feel the same as having
  • 00:26:19
    experienced it but when you're hurting
  • 00:26:22
    and you're trying to help other people
  • 00:26:24
    you're like you're like an empty bag
  • 00:26:27
    like you
  • 00:26:28
    can you can barely scroll through
  • 00:26:31
    anything to offer to the person because
  • 00:26:33
    you don't offer yourself anything like
  • 00:26:35
    what are you going to give them you have
  • 00:26:38
    to give yourself something
  • 00:26:40
    first to actually know how to give them
  • 00:26:44
    how to help
  • 00:26:47
    them and I think people sometimes try to
  • 00:26:50
    cap that by by finding ways to escape
  • 00:26:54
    like being in relationships or being in
  • 00:26:57
    certain friendships or wasting their
  • 00:27:00
    life you know watching TV shows and
  • 00:27:03
    movies cuz they just want to escape they
  • 00:27:05
    don't want to face that that they have
  • 00:27:07
    to help themselves and they have to
  • 00:27:09
    really hurt to do that they have to
  • 00:27:12
    suffer a little bit to do that to get
  • 00:27:14
    the job
  • 00:27:16
    done but the problem is if you don't do
  • 00:27:19
    it and you put it off and you do these
  • 00:27:21
    forms of
  • 00:27:24
    Escape you end up hurting people not
  • 00:27:28
    just yourself especially if it involves
  • 00:27:30
    other people like relationships you end
  • 00:27:32
    up hurting people not just
  • 00:27:36
    yourself opposite of when you try to
  • 00:27:39
    help yourself and then you are able to
  • 00:27:41
    help people it all starts with
  • 00:27:45
    yourself but like I said before it's
  • 00:27:48
    also the external factor that you know
  • 00:27:51
    what is meant for you will find you you
  • 00:27:53
    know that everything happens for a
  • 00:27:55
    reason but then you also in
  • 00:27:58
    in Arabic it's
  • 00:27:59
    called you follow the procedures you
  • 00:28:02
    follow everything that you can do within
  • 00:28:04
    your capacity to get the job done to get
  • 00:28:08
    the healing done to work on yourself and
  • 00:28:12
    and build yourself
  • 00:28:15
    because because once you start doing
  • 00:28:17
    that you actually start attracting that
  • 00:28:20
    and then you're no longer just helping
  • 00:28:24
    others people start helping you but ways
  • 00:28:27
    you never
  • 00:28:30
    imagined and it's it doesn't get more
  • 00:28:32
    beautiful than that by the way because
  • 00:28:34
    when you're trying to build yourself and
  • 00:28:36
    you find other people building
  • 00:28:38
    themselves and then you start to build
  • 00:28:40
    yourself
  • 00:28:42
    together like that not only by the way
  • 00:28:46
    breeds confidence like it builds your
  • 00:28:48
    confidence like nothing else but
  • 00:28:50
    like it's just one of the most beautiful
  • 00:28:53
    things that like a human society can do
  • 00:28:57
    now when I was reading this book
  • 00:28:59
    yesterday the one literally titled
  • 00:29:02
    self-esteem that's it that was the title
  • 00:29:05
    it was talking about characteristics of
  • 00:29:07
    people with high self-esteem and I find
  • 00:29:09
    I I found it fascinating because I
  • 00:29:12
    thought that you know people differ not
  • 00:29:16
    everyone is the same that's
  • 00:29:18
    true but I think it really does come to
  • 00:29:21
    show that self-esteem is is like the is
  • 00:29:25
    like a truth it's like a thing a
  • 00:29:28
    one-of-a-kind thing that people share
  • 00:29:31
    you know and it like shows up
  • 00:29:33
    differently in people but it also brings
  • 00:29:36
    out the same traits you know like a
  • 00:29:39
    person with high self-esteem is not
  • 00:29:41
    agitated they're not anxious they're
  • 00:29:45
    not impatient you like they're not
  • 00:29:49
    jittery and and they they're
  • 00:29:51
    uncomfortable like when we picture
  • 00:29:55
    self-esteem High self-esteem esteem a
  • 00:29:57
    person who values themselves we don't
  • 00:30:00
    picture that we picture someone who's
  • 00:30:03
    calm someone who is self-assured someone
  • 00:30:06
    who is assertive someone who is who who
  • 00:30:09
    cares about their well-being who eats
  • 00:30:13
    well sleeps well exercises who meditates
  • 00:30:17
    or prays who who cares about their
  • 00:30:21
    internal alignment you know their body
  • 00:30:24
    Mind and Spirit they actually take care
  • 00:30:27
    of these things we think about all of
  • 00:30:29
    these aspects because we think of
  • 00:30:31
    essentially a person that is
  • 00:30:33
    healthy so yeah I would say that
  • 00:30:37
    self-esteem does show up differently in
  • 00:30:39
    different people but like in the end
  • 00:30:42
    it's the same
  • 00:30:43
    thing it it like radiates the same way
  • 00:30:46
    in people and not only that it's not
  • 00:30:49
    even about the person with high
  • 00:30:52
    self-esteem but it's also about how
  • 00:30:55
    people around a person with high
  • 00:30:57
    self-esteem how they feel you know
  • 00:31:00
    people usually feel calm around a person
  • 00:31:03
    with high self-esteem they feel calm
  • 00:31:05
    they feel safe they feel stimulated like
  • 00:31:10
    they don't feel judged in any way they
  • 00:31:13
    feel like they're being listened to
  • 00:31:15
    they're
  • 00:31:16
    valued because at the end of the day a
  • 00:31:19
    person with a high
  • 00:31:22
    self-esteem like I said before in Arabic
  • 00:31:24
    it's that placing value on the self but
  • 00:31:28
    also in turn you're not just placing
  • 00:31:30
    value on yourself you're placing value
  • 00:31:32
    on other people too you're respecting
  • 00:31:35
    yourself as much as you respect other
  • 00:31:37
    people you know that selft talk starts
  • 00:31:40
    to translate into how you even talk to
  • 00:31:43
    other people because if your selft talk
  • 00:31:45
    is negative expect it to come out on a
  • 00:31:47
    person negatively at some point you're
  • 00:31:50
    intimate with someone and you like let
  • 00:31:54
    out a really hurtful comment to them
  • 00:31:57
    expect that to happen if you do that to
  • 00:31:59
    yourself whereas vice versa if you talk
  • 00:32:02
    really kindly and nicely to yourself
  • 00:32:04
    that's all you have to offer to people
  • 00:32:06
    because you already offer that to
  • 00:32:08
    yourself now I talked about the
  • 00:32:12
    characteristics of people with high
  • 00:32:13
    self-esteem and how others feel around a
  • 00:32:15
    person with high self-esteem but I also
  • 00:32:19
    wanted to talk about why personally I
  • 00:32:22
    think that we are
  • 00:32:25
    in I was going to say a confidence
  • 00:32:28
    epidemic but if anything it's a
  • 00:32:30
    self-esteem epidemic in Generation
  • 00:32:34
    Z Now Generation Z takes the hit for
  • 00:32:36
    everything honestly we insult ourselves
  • 00:32:39
    more than people insult us at this point
  • 00:32:42
    like we're just you know we're just
  • 00:32:44
    chilling vibing but we're also trying to
  • 00:32:47
    survive but like we're we're doing fine
  • 00:32:50
    we're doing great but also we have
  • 00:32:52
    something that not many generations had
  • 00:32:55
    and that is the beauty of social media
  • 00:32:58
    okay social
  • 00:33:00
    media I don't want to be the grandma but
  • 00:33:03
    I think is the root problem of most
  • 00:33:05
    things no no look social media has its
  • 00:33:08
    perks okay I think like anything it has
  • 00:33:10
    its advantages and disadvantages I think
  • 00:33:13
    it could be a beautiful thing like for
  • 00:33:15
    example I can't be doing any of this
  • 00:33:17
    without social media so like at the end
  • 00:33:20
    of the day it has a lot of good to offer
  • 00:33:23
    but then some people use it for
  • 00:33:25
    destructive purposes but unknowingly so
  • 00:33:29
    they don't go on intentionally saying
  • 00:33:32
    I'm going to use this destructively to
  • 00:33:34
    abuse myself no one thinks like that
  • 00:33:37
    hopefully okay not many people think
  • 00:33:40
    like that I should say unfortunately
  • 00:33:43
    when we don't cultivate our feed
  • 00:33:45
    strategically when we don't think about
  • 00:33:48
    the little pieces of content that we're
  • 00:33:52
    consuming it can start to build up and
  • 00:33:54
    start
  • 00:33:55
    to make it way into our brains and
  • 00:33:58
    comparisons can start to take place and
  • 00:34:02
    so then we're just like we're like why
  • 00:34:05
    do I feel like this why do I feel so
  • 00:34:08
    incompetent why do I feel so ugly why do
  • 00:34:11
    I feel like I'm not doing enough why do
  • 00:34:14
    I feel like I'm not a good Muslim why do
  • 00:34:17
    I feel like I'm not a good student why
  • 00:34:20
    do I feel like I'm very unathletic why
  • 00:34:24
    do I feel like a couch potato even
  • 00:34:26
    though I haven't laid on the couch for a
  • 00:34:28
    month why we why do I feel like this
  • 00:34:31
    there's so many freaking questions that
  • 00:34:32
    start to pop up because what we're
  • 00:34:34
    seeing is like the highlight and it's
  • 00:34:36
    not even necessarily the Highlight we're
  • 00:34:38
    just seeing other people leading
  • 00:34:40
    different lives I don't like to say it's
  • 00:34:42
    like the highlight real you know
  • 00:34:44
    everyone posting their best no right now
  • 00:34:47
    people are starting to post their
  • 00:34:48
    mediocre posts and their even you know
  • 00:34:51
    post weak highlighting their weaknesses
  • 00:34:54
    and I like that but it's not even about
  • 00:34:56
    that let them post their highlights it
  • 00:34:58
    doesn't even matter it's how you choose
  • 00:35:01
    to interpret it if how you choose to
  • 00:35:04
    interpret it is this is how I should be
  • 00:35:07
    and this is the standard this is the
  • 00:35:08
    ideal I have to be like this it's like
  • 00:35:11
    why do you even think like that to begin
  • 00:35:13
    with there are deeper issues love okay
  • 00:35:16
    if that's how you thinking no but if
  • 00:35:19
    comparisons are taking place you
  • 00:35:21
    probably were compared at a younger age
  • 00:35:24
    I mean I don't want to be the person to
  • 00:35:25
    say child of trauma
  • 00:35:27
    right trauma by the way is a very
  • 00:35:30
    polarizing term it's like that term that
  • 00:35:32
    either brings people in or really drives
  • 00:35:35
    people away and I used to be the kind of
  • 00:35:37
    person that used to be driven Away by
  • 00:35:39
    the word trauma because I was like guys
  • 00:35:41
    get over yourselves stop it with a
  • 00:35:43
    freaking trauma you know like go get
  • 00:35:46
    help but as I
  • 00:35:48
    honestly go further in this life the
  • 00:35:51
    more I
  • 00:35:52
    realize people have different
  • 00:35:54
    backgrounds and people had different
  • 00:35:56
    childhoods
  • 00:35:57
    and the way they were brought up is just
  • 00:35:59
    different and so it's not my place to
  • 00:36:02
    say guys get over yourselves it's not it
  • 00:36:05
    really
  • 00:36:06
    isn't but I think we have to meet in the
  • 00:36:10
    middle to understand where this trauma
  • 00:36:13
    is even coming from you know what I mean
  • 00:36:15
    being compared a lot when you're a child
  • 00:36:19
    really does a number on your brain and
  • 00:36:22
    especially when you have social media
  • 00:36:24
    and you have access to all of these
  • 00:36:25
    ideals these ideal figures and people
  • 00:36:28
    and personalities and personas and
  • 00:36:31
    whatever you're constantly comparing
  • 00:36:33
    yourself in your brain and you don't
  • 00:36:35
    even realize it and here's the thing
  • 00:36:37
    when I go on social
  • 00:36:39
    media and well let's talk about before
  • 00:36:42
    when I used to go on social media and I
  • 00:36:44
    used to see all of these people that
  • 00:36:46
    were just like at their best you know it
  • 00:36:50
    wasn't enough to say that no it's okay I
  • 00:36:53
    have confidence in myself I don't feel
  • 00:36:56
    any anything from that post no that to
  • 00:37:00
    me that wasn't enough like I will still
  • 00:37:02
    be comparing myself in my head you know
  • 00:37:04
    I'll be looking at the pictures and
  • 00:37:05
    videos and I'll be like yeah but it's
  • 00:37:07
    okay it's all good but now I realize it
  • 00:37:12
    literally 50% of the equation was
  • 00:37:14
    missing because it's not just that I'm
  • 00:37:17
    looking at them and saying it's okay I
  • 00:37:19
    have confidence in myself it's no I'm
  • 00:37:22
    looking at them and I'm like what is
  • 00:37:24
    meant for them is for them what is meant
  • 00:37:26
    for me is for me and I'm really happy
  • 00:37:28
    for them so it's when I started
  • 00:37:30
    including that external confidence in
  • 00:37:33
    the conversation that I started
  • 00:37:36
    realizing that I'm not even
  • 00:37:38
    like I'm not even in need of what they
  • 00:37:42
    have like I'm confident in everything
  • 00:37:44
    that I am and everything that I can do
  • 00:37:46
    and everything that I you know am as a
  • 00:37:49
    whole person but I'm also confident that
  • 00:37:52
    they have what they have for a reason so
  • 00:37:55
    I'm not going to see here and whne and
  • 00:37:58
    like ask why I'm not like this like it's
  • 00:38:02
    just when you understand how external
  • 00:38:04
    confidence comes into play
  • 00:38:06
    too literally The Narrative changes you
  • 00:38:10
    start being happy for people regardless
  • 00:38:13
    like it doesn't matter if they have
  • 00:38:15
    everything you're happy for them you're
  • 00:38:17
    confident in yourself still like it
  • 00:38:19
    doesn't matter you you're not burning on
  • 00:38:22
    the inside like why am I not like this
  • 00:38:24
    why don't I have this why can't I do
  • 00:38:27
    this it doesn't matter it doesn't matter
  • 00:38:30
    cuz they have what they have for a
  • 00:38:31
    reason and I have what I have for a
  • 00:38:33
    reason and I will work on myself and I
  • 00:38:36
    will do what I can to get what I can and
  • 00:38:39
    it will all be for a
  • 00:38:42
    reason and I think that's the most
  • 00:38:45
    beautiful unused part of the
  • 00:38:49
    conversation we can talk about
  • 00:38:51
    self-confidence and how you feel on the
  • 00:38:53
    inside but then you have to understand
  • 00:38:55
    that there's a bill billion people in
  • 00:38:57
    the world and we're all just part of a
  • 00:38:59
    much bigger
  • 00:39:01
    picture like honestly every time I talk
  • 00:39:03
    about
  • 00:39:04
    anything let it be confidence let it be
  • 00:39:07
    whatever but I just come back to the
  • 00:39:09
    same truth and it's that we are so tiny
  • 00:39:15
    and we're so cute and we're we're like
  • 00:39:18
    so insignificant and dude Jupiter can
  • 00:39:22
    just squash us you know Saturn can just
  • 00:39:26
    wipe us off the face of the
  • 00:39:28
    planet the sun is literally boiling hot
  • 00:39:32
    and we're getting closer to it all the
  • 00:39:35
    time isn't that crazy I don't I I love
  • 00:39:38
    how that has nothing to do with the
  • 00:39:39
    conversation but whoa that really has
  • 00:39:42
    nothing to do with a conversation but
  • 00:39:43
    that's where my brain went that's where
  • 00:39:45
    my brain goes all the time confidence is
  • 00:39:48
    1% of the
  • 00:39:50
    equation
  • 00:39:52
    and it's just like I think a lot of
  • 00:39:55
    people thought about
  • 00:39:56
    about it so wrong for the longest time
  • 00:39:58
    like it's not something you wear like a
  • 00:40:01
    mask confidence is not something that
  • 00:40:03
    you put on and you go out and you use it
  • 00:40:07
    on people like I have confidence stay
  • 00:40:10
    away you
  • 00:40:12
    know confidence is realizing well like
  • 00:40:14
    we're all one and the same like we all
  • 00:40:17
    have a purpose we all have our own thing
  • 00:40:19
    we're all leading our own lives and we
  • 00:40:20
    all have a calling we all have our own
  • 00:40:24
    way to go about things
  • 00:40:27
    and it's trusting yourself and trusting
  • 00:40:29
    others too trusting yourself in the way
  • 00:40:32
    that you can accomplish what you want to
  • 00:40:34
    do and what you think you have a
  • 00:40:36
    responsibility to do and then trusting
  • 00:40:39
    that other people have the same other
  • 00:40:41
    people are doing what they need to
  • 00:40:45
    do and I I don't know it's just like so
  • 00:40:48
    nice when you put it into that
  • 00:40:49
    perspective of everyone is here for a
  • 00:40:53
    reason everyone is doing what they're
  • 00:40:55
    doing for a reason
  • 00:40:56
    it always goes back to that truth
  • 00:40:58
    everything happens for a reason you know
  • 00:41:00
    and what is meant for you will find you
  • 00:41:03
    whoa that was intense guys I might cap
  • 00:41:07
    it off here actually I want to do a semi
  • 00:41:11
    part two you could say it's not a part
  • 00:41:13
    two it's more just like delving deeper
  • 00:41:16
    into the concept of confidence because I
  • 00:41:19
    went a lot into self-esteem but I think
  • 00:41:22
    that's what I wanted to get out
  • 00:41:24
    selfesteem is such such an underrated
  • 00:41:28
    part of the picture and it's a much
  • 00:41:30
    bigger part of the picture you know in a
  • 00:41:33
    way confidence people think is a means
  • 00:41:36
    to the end now I was explaining this to
  • 00:41:38
    a friend what is a means to the end it's
  • 00:41:41
    like using something as a tool to get to
  • 00:41:43
    the destination and people think that is
  • 00:41:46
    what confidence is you use it to go up
  • 00:41:49
    the
  • 00:41:50
    ladder but it was never like that and
  • 00:41:53
    and if anything that's what you call is
  • 00:41:56
    false confidence that's a mask that
  • 00:41:57
    you're putting on to get to the top call
  • 00:41:59
    it fake till you make it call it
  • 00:42:01
    whatever you want but that's not
  • 00:42:03
    confidence confidence is the destination
  • 00:42:06
    itself but it's not even the whole
  • 00:42:08
    destination it's like 1% of the
  • 00:42:11
    destination it was never a means to the
  • 00:42:14
    end it was just always a part of the end
  • 00:42:17
    and you have to kind of work on your
  • 00:42:20
    self-esteem and how you think about
  • 00:42:22
    yourself
  • 00:42:23
    and and like all of that here feeling
  • 00:42:26
    and everything that is a means to the
  • 00:42:29
    end figuring out who you even are
  • 00:42:33
    figuring out what you stand for your
  • 00:42:35
    values your core values and beliefs and
  • 00:42:39
    and your boundaries oh your boundaries I
  • 00:42:41
    didn't even get into that oh I have so
  • 00:42:44
    much to say about that I'll say I'll say
  • 00:42:47
    it all in a different video because the
  • 00:42:49
    boundaries in particular I think is a
  • 00:42:51
    much bigger topic that oh my God I have
  • 00:42:54
    so much to talk about anyway
  • 00:42:58
    guys I have confidence in the fact that
  • 00:43:01
    you guys understood everything that I
  • 00:43:02
    said today of course it is a little bit
  • 00:43:05
    shaky confidence but the confidence is
  • 00:43:07
    there kind of so I'm going to cut it off
  • 00:43:11
    here and you guys tell me what you think
  • 00:43:15
    about the whole idea of internal
  • 00:43:16
    confidence and external confidence
  • 00:43:18
    because in a way you know I think
  • 00:43:21
    they're related but like sometimes they
  • 00:43:24
    they they're portrayed as world RS apart
  • 00:43:27
    like what does believing in an external
  • 00:43:30
    entity have anything to do with your
  • 00:43:33
    confidence you know but I really once
  • 00:43:36
    you start to think about those two in in
  • 00:43:40
    a setting where confidence is
  • 00:43:42
    needed it's like it all starts to click
  • 00:43:45
    like if you're giving a
  • 00:43:47
    presentation and you're you're nervous
  • 00:43:50
    you know but like you have trust in
  • 00:43:52
    yourself on the inside I feel like
  • 00:43:54
    that's not enough like you need need to
  • 00:43:56
    trust like what is happening is
  • 00:43:59
    happening and everything is going to
  • 00:44:01
    unfold how it unfolds whether you like
  • 00:44:04
    it or not if you end up
  • 00:44:07
    puking it's like you have to accept the
  • 00:44:09
    fact that you puked in front of the
  • 00:44:11
    entire
  • 00:44:12
    board the board meeting you know and
  • 00:44:15
    that's that's the whole part of external
  • 00:44:17
    confidence is like you're confident that
  • 00:44:20
    that happened for a reason you're not
  • 00:44:21
    kicking yourself about it like oh why
  • 00:44:23
    did I do that why why did that happen no
  • 00:44:25
    you're confident you're like yeah I
  • 00:44:27
    puked what about it it's just like you
  • 00:44:30
    know cuz it being on that side of the
  • 00:44:34
    conversation being accepting of it
  • 00:44:37
    accepting things as they are and not
  • 00:44:39
    killing yourself to change their
  • 00:44:41
    circumstances that's just
  • 00:44:44
    like takes off such a load off your back
  • 00:44:47
    and makes you focus on what's actually
  • 00:44:49
    important and what is in your control
  • 00:44:51
    you know yeah that's great I love the
  • 00:44:55
    convers ation that we had guys that was
  • 00:44:57
    amazing the one
  • 00:44:59
    conversation with one person talking to
  • 00:45:02
    themselves in a
  • 00:45:04
    room that is echoey okay I'm going to go
  • 00:45:08
    now and I hope you guys enjoyed this
  • 00:45:11
    topic oh my God I could talk about this
  • 00:45:13
    topic forever but but I tried to keep it
  • 00:45:16
    short but I think I did literally go
  • 00:45:19
    everywhere but I have confidence in the
  • 00:45:22
    fact that you guys can understand
  • 00:45:24
    everything that I said okay I'm going to
  • 00:45:26
    see you in the next episode and until
  • 00:45:28
    then you have an amazing day bye-bye
Tags
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • self-love
  • social media
  • impostor syndrome
  • internal confidence
  • external confidence
  • self-worth
  • personal growth
  • self-acceptance