00:00:08
Thank you very much and good afternoon
00:00:11
you know there was this high school
00:00:12
Science teacher who really wanted to
00:00:14
impress in the minds of the youth the
00:00:15
body effects of alcohol and for him he's
00:00:19
going to do a very splendid impactful
00:00:22
experiment and this is what he
00:00:24
did on the table he had two glasses one
00:00:28
glass here and another glass
00:00:31
here this glass he filled with
00:00:34
water and The Other glass he filled with
00:00:38
alcohol and in the midle there were two
00:00:42
earthworms CL I'm going to get this
00:00:44
first earthworm now he said And he
00:00:46
lifted it and I'm going to drop this now
00:00:49
in the glass field with water and let us
00:00:51
see what will happen out the earthworm
00:00:52
so he dropped it and you know what the
00:00:54
earthworm did it was wiggling As if it
00:00:57
was enjoying and then the class careful
00:01:00
with what I'm going to do next because
00:01:02
this is exactly what the experiment is
00:01:04
all about he got now the second
00:01:06
earthworm he lifted it and then he
00:01:08
immediately dropped this now in the
00:01:10
glass filled with alcohol and you know
00:01:11
what happened to the earthworm it only
00:01:13
wiggled for a very short time and then
00:01:16
it expired it
00:01:19
died end of experiment and then he
00:01:22
called on who won the la Cruz Who was
00:01:24
sitting at the back w the la Cruz based
00:01:27
on this experiment What you what can you
00:01:30
conclude and who w the la Cruz really
00:01:32
stood up with a lot of excitement and
00:01:34
then he said
00:01:35
sir it's very clear in your experiment
00:01:39
that we have to drink alcohol in order
00:01:41
to kill all the worms inside our
00:01:47
stomach you know the lesson there is we
00:01:50
always see things very differently from
00:01:53
the vantage point of the teacher This is
00:01:55
the best experiment I can tell my
00:01:57
students to discourage them from taking
00:02:00
alcohol from your own point of view but
00:02:03
from the point of view of juanda la Cruz
00:02:05
na nanggaling ho sa isang mabula pamilya
00:02:07
sabi Aha you don't have anymore to go to
00:02:11
to a drugstore and buy all those
00:02:13
expensive branded products or you're
00:02:15
going to do is just go to the tindahan
00:02:17
and buy the cheapest alcohol which is
00:02:21
gin drink it and surely it's going to
00:02:24
kill all the worms inside of your
00:02:25
stomach Anyway my topic is about
00:02:31
how to bounce back from set
00:02:35
box and sometimes setx can be seen in so
00:02:38
many facets is it a Breakdown for you or
00:02:42
is it a
00:02:43
breakthrough is it the end for you or Is
00:02:46
it really an opportunity for you for a
00:02:49
personal
00:02:51
growth allow me to share a personal
00:02:54
experience based on this particular
00:02:56
photo which is in front of you this
00:02:59
happens to be the last family
00:03:02
photo That's my Dad that's my mom we're
00:03:06
three boys in the family and I'm the
00:03:08
second child and they always say that
00:03:10
the second child is the middle child
00:03:13
There's a one year difference between my
00:03:16
brother and also myself one year
00:03:20
difference lang po no and then my eldest
00:03:23
brother was really very sickly that he
00:03:27
had to repeat grade 4 and because
00:03:29
there's only a one year difference
00:03:31
between us We graduated together on the
00:03:34
same day on the same time on the same
00:03:35
year March
00:03:38
1976 that's
00:03:42
it for what just one week after our
00:03:46
graduation my eldest brother died of a
00:03:49
massive asthma attack He was just 13
00:03:52
years old I was 12 years old 4 years
00:03:57
after just after Christmas December 26
00:04:01
1980 my mother at the age of 44 died of
00:04:06
Cancer I was just 17 years old 4 years
00:04:11
after I just finished college I was 20
00:04:14
years old my father died of a car
00:04:20
accident So you will notice in my family
00:04:23
I was 20 then and my youngest brother
00:04:25
was 17 years old there's always a death
00:04:28
every 4 years 1976 1980
00:04:32
1984 and since we're only two left We're
00:04:35
Looking at each
00:04:38
other and asking the question what's the
00:04:43
question Who's
00:04:48
Next In
00:04:50
1988 June
00:04:52
4 my youngest brother got married
00:05:00
end of the series of death in the
00:05:03
family you know after the death of my
00:05:07
parents you know there are a lot of
00:05:09
setbacks I would really consider that
00:05:11
after the death of my parents It was a
00:05:14
life of challenges very difficult very
00:05:17
very challenging the challenging
00:05:20
situations came about because you know
00:05:22
my brother and I lived a very
00:05:24
comfortable life we did not know hunger
00:05:28
Because there's always food on the table
00:05:30
we were house in a very nice home you
00:05:32
know we were sent to the best Education
00:05:34
in our province in the best educational
00:05:36
institution at the same time also we had
00:05:39
occasional summer Uh vacations and then
00:05:42
we also had household help we were
00:05:44
really living a very comfortable and a
00:05:46
very convenient life all you're going to
00:05:48
do is Just ask and then something is
00:05:50
going to be given To You Everything is
00:05:52
already just given to you after the
00:05:54
death of my parents It was really very
00:05:56
difficult for us okay but because
00:05:58
because we do not No really life skills
00:06:00
What happened to us We don't even know
00:06:02
financial management and I did not have
00:06:04
a very permanent job at the time What
00:06:07
would we do we started already selling
00:06:10
properties the remaining properties
00:06:12
until finally nothing was left to our
00:06:15
own and that was already the start of a
00:06:18
very difficult
00:06:20
situation my brother decided already to
00:06:23
get married I was all alone and we
00:06:25
didn't have nothing little did I know
00:06:29
that this financial difficulties has
00:06:31
already extended to include other human
00:06:34
dimensions in my life emotionally I had
00:06:37
a lot of issues and that has already now
00:06:39
gone into me so I had to seek the
00:06:42
counseling I had to see a psychiatrist I
00:06:44
had to see a psychotherapist all this
00:06:45
processes that they said was going to be
00:06:47
effective for me but in the long run I
00:06:49
realized it's not it so I was not okay
00:06:53
financially I was not okay also Uh in
00:06:55
terms of social Uh things and also now
00:06:58
in term of other dimensions it has taken
00:07:01
a to of my body but i really wanted to C
00:07:04
Okay what did I do So I started drinking
00:07:07
already and also smoking I also went
00:07:09
into relationships and you know in
00:07:11
relationships I was the number one
00:07:13
emotional manipulator Why How is that I
00:07:16
use my miserable situation in order not
00:07:18
to win the sympathy and gain also the
00:07:21
pity of other people and Once they would
00:07:23
say I don't like you anymore uhuh once
00:07:25
you're going to do I'm going to make a
00:07:26
lot of emotional manipulations to you
00:07:28
How Am I going to do do it if you're
00:07:30
going to L Okay you know you have a
00:07:32
complete set of parents you your mother
00:07:33
you have your father go but in my case
00:07:35
you know I'm so all alone I'm all alone
00:07:38
I'm all alone So what are going to do
00:07:40
they have a lot of guilt So come back
00:07:41
come back come back come back but you
00:07:43
know that never really work in the very
00:07:46
long Run of the
00:07:48
situations also to be able to support
00:07:50
myself also I got a lot of several I got
00:07:53
a lot of several credit cards to support
00:07:55
my whims and also my ons okay but I said
00:07:59
in the long Run This Never really worked
00:08:02
I became more sickly I was in the
00:08:04
hospital I was also now going into debs
00:08:07
utang and I also now became so needy and
00:08:11
very dependent on relationships which
00:08:14
were never really nurturing at all and
00:08:17
the worst was that I became withdrawn I
00:08:20
became anxious I became so fearful and I
00:08:24
had suicidal educations I had suicidal
00:08:28
thoughts but deep down inside as all
00:08:30
these things are happening in my life
00:08:32
All These negativities in the deepest
00:08:35
recesses of my soul and in the deepest
00:08:37
recesses of my heart I know I have to do
00:08:40
something about my life I cannot just
00:08:42
put it to waste I really wanted to do
00:08:45
something out of this nothingness that
00:08:47
I'm feeling at the moment and as the
00:08:49
cliche goes One Day things have changed
00:08:53
Very positively I'm in front of you now
00:08:56
I could rec consider myself I think I'm
00:08:59
happy now I'm wiser now and I am also
00:09:04
financially secured at the moment and I
00:09:06
feel also that I am also Uh healthier
00:09:13
now so I was able to bounce back and I
00:09:17
would really say in my reflections about
00:09:20
life with my reflections about how I
00:09:23
went through in my life I can really say
00:09:26
that I was able to succeed with my
00:09:29
difficulties and my challenges because
00:09:31
of four days What's the first
00:09:34
d decide to change
00:09:37
positively I strongly really believe
00:09:40
that Any Kind Of Change that you want to
00:09:42
happen in your life the first and the
00:09:45
most important thing you're going to do
00:09:47
is to really make a decision i decided
00:09:51
to change positively i decided to change
00:09:54
my thoughts I also decided to change my
00:09:57
feeling and I also decided now to really
00:10:00
change my way of behavior i decided also
00:10:04
to let go of emotional manipulations I
00:10:06
also decided that I'm going to be more
00:10:09
positive In My Life That's why I never
00:10:11
teach I'm a psychologist I'm a licensed
00:10:13
and a certified psychologist but I never
00:10:16
never really teach abnormal psychology
00:10:18
why I'm already abnormal I don't like to
00:10:21
teach that but i really wanted not to
00:10:24
teach only positive psychology and
00:10:25
Health psychology in fact I always carry
00:10:28
this with me
00:10:29
It's a rosary but I don't pray the
00:10:31
rosary No but I only use the be to
00:10:33
really say 300 to 400 times a day five
00:10:37
words peace Love Joy good health and
00:10:41
prosperity peace Love Joy good health
00:10:44
and prosperity when I'm jogging peace
00:10:45
Love Joy good health and prosperity and
00:10:47
usually do this 300 to 400 times a day
00:10:49
know peace Love Joy good health and
00:10:51
prosperity peace Love Joy good health
00:10:52
and prosperity I am one believer part of
00:10:55
my success in life part also of my own
00:10:57
process is that What whatever you highly
00:11:00
cognitively think can really now be able
00:11:03
to determine also your sense of
00:11:06
affection and your emotional part is
00:11:09
also now going to define also your
00:11:11
behavior your cognition determines and
00:11:14
influences also your own kind of feeling
00:11:17
and the feelings which are very powerful
00:11:19
emotionally will translate now into
00:11:21
something which is very very positive
00:11:23
behavior so I always say that peace Love
00:11:25
Joy good health and prosperity because I
00:11:27
want to feel peace Love Joy good health
00:11:28
and prosperity my life and I also want
00:11:30
to behave peace Love Joy good health
00:11:32
also in my life and I really wanted to
00:11:35
change i decided also that I don't like
00:11:37
to go into that financial difficulties
00:11:39
at the moment so i what did I decide i
00:11:42
decided that I'm really going to prepare
00:11:44
for my future for my retirement to even
00:11:46
to the extent of I'm becoming frugal but
00:11:49
I'm going to make use now of my money
00:11:51
because I want really to Secure my
00:11:54
retirement years and at the same time
00:11:56
also I want also to Secure the that in
00:11:59
cases of Emergency There's Something I'm
00:12:01
going to get and something going to
00:12:03
support me So I decided really to be
00:12:06
very positive in my life any kind of
00:12:10
situations Any Kind Of Change will
00:12:12
always now have to really make a
00:12:16
decision second d design your life goals
00:12:21
for me if you really want to achieve
00:12:24
something I think it's very very
00:12:26
important that you have to write them
00:12:28
down and plan it out and put that in my
00:12:31
writing that is why since 1992 I have
00:12:35
been doing journals in my life Okay in
00:12:38
fact I would say is there's going to be
00:12:39
a fire in my house What's the first
00:12:41
thing rony that you're going to get all
00:12:42
my journals I Don't Mind All These other
00:12:45
things there The Other treasures but the
00:12:46
most treasured things in my life are
00:12:49
really my journals Which I started in
00:12:51
December 1992 until now I still have
00:12:55
those journals but this time I have two
00:12:57
journals one for my emotional Okay Uh
00:13:01
letting out and the other one is for
00:13:03
Grateful journal i call it blessings
00:13:05
journal and We also requiring my
00:13:07
students to do that the same for them
00:13:09
the more You're so Grateful with Life
00:13:11
The More blessings is going to come in
00:13:12
your life also so design your life goal
00:13:16
What is it that you really like not only
00:13:18
for yourself but also for other people
00:13:20
put that in writing okay that's very
00:13:22
very important but of course number
00:13:24
three the most important one is they're
00:13:27
all just written down and and just drawn
00:13:29
out What is very essential is You have
00:13:31
to act on it do it now okay I never
00:13:35
really procrastinated anymore I just
00:13:37
have to do things this is really what I
00:13:39
really wanted to do in my life because I
00:13:41
have defined my life only in four ways i
00:13:43
want to be happier healthier wiser and
00:13:47
hopefully soon wealthier Okay so This is
00:13:50
the hhw that I'm always telling myself
00:13:54
healthier happier wiser and also I
00:13:56
really wanted to become wealthier in
00:13:58
order to other people also have been
00:14:00
having some difficulties in their lives
00:14:02
so I have had a lot of successes already
00:14:05
Like for example is I really strove I
00:14:07
really strive so hard to have a phd and
00:14:11
it was so difficult to earn it but I'm
00:14:13
able now to have it I was able now to
00:14:15
save and invest in some properties right
00:14:18
now also I was able now to become a
00:14:21
speaker also not only here and also in
00:14:24
other areas I also facilitate summer
00:14:26
workshops and trainings nationally and
00:14:29
internationally and Above All I think
00:14:31
this is my greatest help also to society
00:14:34
is that I'm helping right now
00:14:36
financially Okay Uh helping the literacy
00:14:40
program of one of our ethnic groups in
00:14:43
the Philippines the bajos in Davao
00:14:45
because I'm also from Davao so I'm
00:14:47
helping this group of individuals now Be
00:14:49
sent to school they know how to read
00:14:51
write and and then they able not to get
00:14:53
their degrees eventually that is do it
00:14:57
now do not procrastinate if you you have
00:14:59
some things in your life do it now you
00:15:01
don't have to wait because they always
00:15:03
say if you really really want to achieve
00:15:06
something you really have to put so much
00:15:08
effort there Okay you have to be able to
00:15:12
make sure that you're going to see the
00:15:14
completion of your dreams and
00:15:15
aspirations in life and thirdly discern
00:15:21
regularly initially I wrote there deepen
00:15:24
your Spirituality to discern means to
00:15:27
pause and reflect what is really going
00:15:29
on in your life regularly in my case
00:15:33
okay a lot of people can do this
00:15:35
discernment in so many other ways some
00:15:37
people they call it you have to do some
00:15:40
recollections or retreats or you can go
00:15:42
into this kind of mindfulness you can go
00:15:46
into this
00:15:47
meditation but in my case it's called
00:15:52
prayer every week I go to a very Quiet
00:15:56
Chapel and i love other
00:15:59
chap very very much i stay there very
00:16:04
Quiet and just now Talk to this person
00:16:10
whom we call God my greatest learning is
00:16:14
that indeed there is a
00:16:17
God my discipline previously in
00:16:20
philosophy has introduced me also to non
00:16:23
theist philosophers and you know they
00:16:26
have doubted God's existence you know
00:16:28
know they have really proven this and
00:16:30
they have not disp they have not proven
00:16:32
this one But you know what I think the
00:16:35
concept of God is not so much really
00:16:38
derived here if you want to understand
00:16:40
the supreme being it's not cognitive
00:16:42
only here for me God has to be
00:16:46
experienced and that is why I go to this
00:16:49
weekly to a quiet Chapel and usually
00:16:52
It's at the Ateneo Loyola Chapel and
00:16:56
Sometimes I go to the d Strada chapel
00:16:59
adoration beautiful chapels I just stay
00:17:01
there all alone one hour two hours
00:17:04
Sometimes I would just sleep there But
00:17:07
but sometimes It's really a conversation
00:17:10
with God call it God call it Supreme
00:17:13
being It's a universal intelligence call
00:17:15
it by any other name in fact I have a
00:17:17
name for it positive energy with a
00:17:20
capital p and with a capital energy when
00:17:24
I sit down there for an hour or two I
00:17:26
feel so re-energized I feel so very
00:17:29
positive it is usually at this moments
00:17:32
when I can see Where my priorities are
00:17:35
some This is also the time for me now to
00:17:38
really really see my intentions This is
00:17:41
also the time for me now to really see
00:17:43
what my motivations of dealing with
00:17:46
other people are these are Precious
00:17:49
moments that put me in the right trap
00:17:52
these are treasured moments that check
00:17:54
me on the posture of my spirit This is
00:17:58
very special for me my goals my
00:18:02
decisions and also the things that I'm
00:18:04
going to do I always bring it now in
00:18:07
Prayer in my discernment and in what way
00:18:11
I am not a religious person I don't go
00:18:13
to m i don't pray the rosary I don't
00:18:15
read the Bible but I think there's other
00:18:17
ways you can be able not to communicate
00:18:19
with that positive energy This is the
00:18:22
one that provides me with so much power
00:18:25
now there This is the kind of energy
00:18:28
that
00:18:29
revitalizes Me And allows Me Now really
00:18:33
to become the person that I am through
00:18:36
this particular positive energy I am so
00:18:39
much love and feel so secured I know
00:18:42
that I'm so much l by what I am and who
00:18:45
I am and i always cve for this weekly
00:18:49
the moments when I am in solitude and in
00:18:52
quietude with this positive
00:18:55
energy these are my four lesson
00:18:59
life set will always come It's
00:19:03
inevitable difficulties are going to
00:19:06
come Without You knowing it these are
00:19:09
external factors beyond our control but
00:19:13
I would really say that there will
00:19:15
always be a bouncing back if you choose
00:19:19
to thank you very
00:19:22
[Palakpakan]
00:19:27
much n
