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♪ From the shallow now ♪
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(audience laughs)
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- I don't know if I'm
working it right now.
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It's hard to know what to say.
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I wrote this speech
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and there's teleprompters
and I got papers.
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I don't know what to--
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(audience laughs)
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Use.
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And in truth, I was just trying
to memorize Anita's speech
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because it was so beautiful, but...
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You give me hope!
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Thank you, Jennifer, for
that beautiful introduction.
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You're an inspiration to so many.
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Thank you not only for everything
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you continually do for women,
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but for the force of nature you've been
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for so many all over the world.
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I think about me and my best friend
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who's here tonight, right there.
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(audience applauds)
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I've known her since I was four years old.
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Beautiful adopted woman from Korea.
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And how throughout high school,
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we danced and we sang, imitating Jennifer.
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(audience laughs)
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Imitating you while we
strengthened our bond.
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Her name is Bo.
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And wearing white bandanas
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and hoop earrings draped
over caramel colored hair.
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You brought us so much joy.
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Where are you?
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You brought us so much joy.
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On the train, I thought about you.
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(audience laughs)
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And how the fuck I was
gonna get off that train.
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(audience laughs)
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She loved you so much we even
gave her the nickname, J-Bo.
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(audience laughs)
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No for real.
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Like, we called her that all the time.
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There is not a doubt in my mind
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that you will be loved forever
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as the powerhouse of a performer
and woman that you are.
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Thank you for making so many
memories for me and my friends
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that I will cherish forever in my heart.
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Thank you so much.
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(audience applauds)
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I never in my wildest dreams
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thought that my life
would become what it has.
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But more so, to be honored this evening
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purely for being a woman.
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It's beyond what I could have imagined.
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I guess I didn't see it
happening in my lifetime.
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I am immensely privileged
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to be in the company of
so many powerful women
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who have changed so many people's lives.
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I am so humbled to be
standing hand-in-hand
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with every one of you today.
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I spent a lot of time
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thinking about what I
wanted to say tonight
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because of all of you,
because you inspire me.
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How does one rise to such an occasion,
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when maybe you don't feel that inside?
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How does one accept where
life has brought them,
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and what it all means?
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As I tried on dress after dress today,
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getting ready for this event,
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one tight corset after another,
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one heel after another,
a diamond, a feather,
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thousands of beaded fabrics,
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and the most beautiful silks in the world,
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to be honest, I felt sick to my stomach
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and I asked myself,
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what does it really mean
to be a woman in Hollywood?
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We are not just objects
to entertain the world.
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We are not simply images
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to bring smiles or
grimaces to people's faces.
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We are not members of
a giant beauty pageant
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meant to be pit against one another
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for the pleasures of the public.
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We women in Hollywood,
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we are voices.
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We have deep thoughts
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and ideas and beliefs and
values about the world
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and we have the power
to speak and be heard
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and fight back when we are silenced.
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So, after trying on 10 or so dresses,
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with a sad feeling in my heart
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that all that would matter
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was what I wore to this red carpet,
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I saw an oversized Marc Jacobs suit
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buried quietly in the corner.
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(audience laughs)
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I put it on to a resounding view
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of eyes glaring at me in confusion.
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(audience laughs)
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"But the Rodarte was so
beautiful," one said.
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"But the Raf Simons for Calvin Klein
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"was so stunning on you," said another.
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"But what about the Brandon Maxwell?"
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"What about the Dior?"
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Lots of questions.
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(audience laughs)
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They were all dresses.
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This was an oversized men's
suit made for a woman.
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Not a gown.
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And then I began to cry.
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In this suit,
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I felt like me today.
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In this suit,
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I felt the truth of who
I am well up in my gut.
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And then wondering what
I wanted to say tonight
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became very clear to me.
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As a sexual assault survivor
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by someone in the entertainment industry,
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as a woman who is still not
brave enough to say his name,
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as a woman who lives with chronic pain,
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as a woman who was conditioned
at a very young age
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to listen to what men told me to do,
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I decided today, I wanted
to take the power back.
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Today, I wear the pants.
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(audience applauds)
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Today, I wear the suit.
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In an age when I can
barely watch the news,
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I gasped at the unjust men
and some women, quite frankly,
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that I see running this country.
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I had a revelation that
I had to be empowered
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to be myself today more than ever,
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to resist the standards of
Hollywood, whatever that means,
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to resist the standards
of dressing to impress,
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but to use what really matters,
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my voice.
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After I was assaulted when I was 19,
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I changed forever.
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Part of me shut down for many years.
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I didn't tell anyone.
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I avoided it myself.
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And felt shame even still today.
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Standing in front of you,
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I feel shame for what happened to me.
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I still have days where I
feel like it was my fault.
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After I shared what happened to me
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with very powerful men in this industry,
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nobody helped me.
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No one offered me guidance,
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or a helping hand,
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to lead me to a place
where I felt justice.
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They didn't even point me in the direction
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of the mental health assistance
I was in dire need of.
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Those men hid because they were afraid
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of losing their power.
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And because they hid, I began to hide.
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I hid for a long time
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until I started to feel physical pain.
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Then I had to go to the doctor
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'cause I didn't know
what was wrong with me.
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And then I was diagnosed with PTSD
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and fibromyalgia,
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which many people don't
think is even real,
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and I don't even know what
the fuck to say about that.
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But I'll tell you what it is.
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It's a syndrome that is
essentially a cyclone
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of many different conditions
depending on the person,
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inducing a stress-induced pain.
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And I really wish my friend
Lena Dunham was here tonight
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because I think she
could probably articulate
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this much better than me.
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And I hope we can all agree
that she's a remarkable woman.
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(audience applauds)
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Depression, anxiety,
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eating disorders, trauma,
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these are just a few
examples of the forces
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that can lead to this tornado of pain.
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So what I would like to say,
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in this room of powerful
women and men today,
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is let's work together
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to beckon the world towards kindness.
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I'm fortunate enough now to
have the resources to help me,
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but for many, the resources
either don't exist,
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or people don't have the ability
to pay for or access them.
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I want to see mental health
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become a global priority.
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(audience applauds)
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We might not be able, or
we're not able, actually,
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to control all of the
challenges and the tragedies
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that life throws our way,
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but we can work together.
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This room and even wider
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can work together to heal each other.
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And we can also try to find the strength,
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in the best way that we can,
to ask for help if we need it.
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One in four people in the world
suffer from mental illness.
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300 million people suffer from depression,
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60 million people live with
bipolar affective disorder,
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23 million people are
stricken with schizophrenia,
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and 800,000 people die
every year from suicide.
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In low and middle income countries,
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between 76 and 85% of
people with mental disorders
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receive no treatment at all.
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In high-income countries,
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between 35 and 50% of people
are in the same situation.
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The people in this room,
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and the people that you
have in your network,
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have the power to turn kindness
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into plutonium and change the world
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for both children and adults,
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to provide for a better future
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and make up in whatever
small way that we can,
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microscopic maybe,
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for the pain those have
suffered in the past.
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And if anyone is compelled to do so,
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please join me and my mother Cynthia.
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We're the founders of the
Born This Way Foundation
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to empower youth, to inspire
a kinder and braver world.
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We want kids to learn about mental health
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and the importance of
kindness at a very young age.
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And it is my personal dream
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that there would be a mental
health expert, teacher,
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or therapist in every
school in this nation,
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and hopefully, one day,
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around the world.
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Let's lift our voices.
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I know we are, but let's get louder.
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And not just as women,
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but as humans,
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and see that there are there
are great men in the world.
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And ask them to hold
our hands for justice,
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that our voices be heard
whatever our story may be,
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for an equal standing that
we will fight for justice
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for women and men and those
with other sexual identities,
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for me.
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This is what it means to
be a woman in Hollywood.
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It means I have a platform.
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I have a chance to make a change.
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I pray we listen and believe
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and pay closer attention
to those around us,
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to those in need.
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I'm sorry, I preach a lot,
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so you're gonna have to bear with me.
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Be a helping hand.
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Be a force for change.
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Thank you, Nina Garcia.
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Thank you, Steven Gan.
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I was an outcast and you believed in me,
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and I wouldn't be here without you.
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Thank you, Elle.
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Thank you all the loved ones in my life.
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Bobby, I love you.
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Everybody at table five.
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(audience laughs)
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My fiance Christian.
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All the loved ones in my life
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who'd take care of me every day.
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And Ryan Murphy,
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thanks for giving me
my first leading role.
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(audience applauds)
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You know that Golden
Globe belongs to you, man.
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Thank you to all of you,
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everybody in this room
who has supported me
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in having a voice,
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and knowing I have
something inside me to give
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that's more important than any
stereotype about Hollywood.
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I have my heart to give to you,
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and I want you to have all of it.
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Thank you for inspiring me.
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I can't say enough about you.
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Listening to you speak
tonight gave me hope
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when I have trouble
sleeping 'cause I'm afraid,
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or when I walk out in the
world and I'm trembling inside.
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It's women like you, Anita,
that make me feel strong.
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Come on.
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(audience applauds)
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Be kind to yourselves and
be kind to each other.
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And to the designers that sent me
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all those beautiful dresses,
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thank you too.
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(audience laughs)
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(audience applauds)
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It taught me something that I
needed to learn again today.
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And to quote myself--
00:23:47
(audience laughs)
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If there's one thing you take away
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from me being here tonight, Elle,
00:24:01
it's breed compassion,
00:24:09
amen fashion.
00:24:12
(audience applauds)
00:24:16
Thank you.
