motherhood should RADICALIZE you. | the U.S. is so cruel to parents & kids 😰

00:36:05
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uyzhii-EmHY

Ringkasan

TLDRIn this video, the speaker reflects on their experiences of motherhood and how it has influenced their views on parental leave policies in the U.S. After giving birth, they express frustration over the lack of paid parental leave, highlighting the emotional and financial challenges faced by new parents. The speaker compares U.S. policies with those of other countries, advocating for more inclusive and equitable parental leave that benefits all parents, regardless of gender. They discuss the 'motherhood penalty' in the workforce and emphasize the importance of paternity leave for promoting gender equality. Ultimately, the speaker calls for societal support for families to improve overall well-being.

Takeaways

  • 👶 Motherhood has changed the speaker's perspective on work and parenting.
  • 💼 The U.S. lacks a national paid parental leave policy, leaving many parents struggling.
  • 💔 New parents often face emotional and financial stress due to insufficient leave.
  • 🌍 Other countries provide extensive paid parental leave, highlighting U.S. shortcomings.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Parental leave should be inclusive and equitable for all genders.
  • 📉 The 'motherhood penalty' affects women's careers and pay after having children.
  • 🤝 Paternity leave is crucial for fathers to bond with their children and support their partners.
  • 💡 Societal support for families is essential for overall well-being.
  • 💰 Childcare costs are prohibitively high, making it difficult for families to manage.
  • 📣 The speaker advocates for better parental leave policies to support all families.

Garis waktu

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker discusses how motherhood has changed her perspective, particularly regarding work-life balance and parental leave. After giving birth, she felt overwhelmed by the demands of caring for a newborn while also worrying about work and financial stability. She reflects on the societal pressures that make it difficult for new parents to take adequate time off to bond with their children.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The speaker expresses frustration with the lack of paid parental leave in the U.S., highlighting that many parents must choose between bonding with their newborns and financial security. She emphasizes the emotional and physical challenges of new parenthood and the bureaucratic issues surrounding parental leave, healthcare, and childcare.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    The speaker critiques the conservative cultural shift that often leads parents to become more conservative, arguing that her experiences have only strengthened her leftist beliefs. She advocates for social programs and safety nets, emphasizing the importance of community support and collective responsibility in parenting.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The speaker discusses the U.S. Family and Medical Leave Act, which provides unpaid leave, and compares it to other countries with more generous paid parental leave policies. She highlights the disparities in access to paid leave and the negative impact this has on families, particularly those from marginalized backgrounds.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    The speaker shares statistics about parental leave in various countries, illustrating how the U.S. lags behind in supporting new parents. She emphasizes the need for comprehensive paid leave policies to support families and improve overall well-being, arguing that financial support for parents is essential for raising children.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    The speaker addresses the challenges of balancing work and childcare, particularly the high costs of childcare in the U.S. She shares her personal experience of navigating childcare while working and the difficulties of finding reliable care, emphasizing the need for better support systems for parents.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:36:05

    The speaker concludes by discussing the importance of paid parental leave for promoting gender equality and supporting families. She argues that both parents should have the opportunity to bond with their children and that society should prioritize policies that support all families, regardless of their structure.

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Peta Pikiran

Video Tanya Jawab

  • What is the main topic of the video?

    The video discusses the impact of motherhood on the speaker's views, particularly regarding parental leave policies in the U.S.

  • What are the challenges faced by new parents in the U.S.?

    New parents face emotional and financial burdens due to the lack of paid parental leave and the high costs of childcare.

  • How does the U.S. parental leave policy compare to other countries?

    The U.S. has one of the least supportive parental leave policies, while many other countries offer extensive paid leave.

  • What is the speaker's stance on parental leave?

    The speaker advocates for better parental leave policies that support all parents, regardless of gender.

  • What emotional experiences does the speaker share about motherhood?

    The speaker shares feelings of joy, sadness, and stress during the early months of motherhood.

  • What is the 'motherhood penalty'?

    The motherhood penalty refers to the discrimination mothers face in the workforce, impacting their pay and career opportunities.

  • What solutions does the speaker propose for parental leave?

    The speaker suggests implementing paid parental leave policies that are inclusive and equitable for all parents.

  • How does the speaker feel about the current state of parental leave in the U.S.?

    The speaker feels frustrated and disturbed by the lack of paid parental leave in the U.S.

  • What is the significance of paternity leave according to the speaker?

    Paternity leave is important for fathers to bond with their child and to promote gender equality in parenting.

  • What does the speaker think about the cultural expectations surrounding parenting?

    The speaker believes that cultural expectations often discourage fathers from taking parental leave and reinforce traditional gender roles.

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Teks
en
Gulir Otomatis:
  • 00:00:00
    - Hello my dudes.
  • 00:00:00
    Today I wanna talk about how motherhood has radicalized me.
  • 00:00:04
    Spoiler, I don't actually think
  • 00:00:06
    any of these ideas are radical, but some people do.
  • 00:00:08
    So, let's chat.
  • 00:00:09
    I gave birth to my first baby last September.
  • 00:00:12
    I spent the summer trying to work as much as possible,
  • 00:00:14
    knowing that I would only be able to afford
  • 00:00:16
    to take one month off as my unpaid leave.
  • 00:00:19
    And even if I could afford more time off,
  • 00:00:21
    I was well aware that the almighty algorithm here on YouTube
  • 00:00:24
    would punish me for posting less.
  • 00:00:25
    So, once my daughter was born,
  • 00:00:27
    I was deep in the newborn trenches, if you know, you know,
  • 00:00:30
    deliriously Googling questions about feeding
  • 00:00:32
    and wake windows and all the scary noises that babies make,
  • 00:00:36
    this is the time people say to cherish every minute,
  • 00:00:39
    soak it in.
  • 00:00:40
    I so badly wanted to be present,
  • 00:00:42
    though I would've happily skipped forward
  • 00:00:44
    about 12 weeks if I could.
  • 00:00:45
    I was crying a lot, some tears of joy,
  • 00:00:48
    others of sadness and stress.
  • 00:00:51
    But perhaps most frustratingly,
  • 00:00:53
    thoughts of work started creeping in almost immediately.
  • 00:00:56
    When exactly would I start working again?
  • 00:00:58
    Should I just do a little work now while my husband's home
  • 00:01:00
    even 30 minutes here and there?
  • 00:01:01
    But on the other hand, I was so out of the loop,
  • 00:01:03
    I hadn't thought about internet things in weeks.
  • 00:01:06
    What video could I possibly make anyway?
  • 00:01:07
    My brain was swimming in baby and nothing else mattered,
  • 00:01:10
    well, as it should be.
  • 00:01:11
    Finally, when my daughter was about two months old,
  • 00:01:13
    I sent myself a video idea, working title,
  • 00:01:16
    "I actually want to be a stay-at-home mom,
  • 00:01:18
    But not in a tradwife way."
  • 00:01:20
    These were some of my notes to self.
  • 00:01:21
    I thought I could work during her nap times,
  • 00:01:23
    but she doesn't nap yet.
  • 00:01:25
    Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job.
  • 00:01:27
    Working from home and stay-at-home parenting
  • 00:01:28
    is insane and impossible.
  • 00:01:30
    Parenting requires full attention.
  • 00:01:32
    So, here we are.
  • 00:01:32
    I'm now basically nine months postpartum
  • 00:01:34
    and finally ready to make this video.
  • 00:01:37
    I'm glad that I waited because I have changed my mind
  • 00:01:39
    and I don't actually want to be a stay-at-home mom.
  • 00:01:42
    But what I wanna discuss today is basically parental leave.
  • 00:01:45
    Because in those early months I was like viscerally offended
  • 00:01:49
    and disturbed to experience the lack of paid parental leave.
  • 00:01:52
    At that time, I thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom
  • 00:01:55
    because I was happy to care for my child,
  • 00:01:58
    I wanted to be with her,
  • 00:01:59
    but what I didn't want was to be engulfed
  • 00:02:01
    by the impending doom of work,
  • 00:02:03
    thinking about when I'd get back to work
  • 00:02:04
    and how I could possibly balance it,
  • 00:02:06
    how would I figure out the child care?
  • 00:02:08
    How could we afford it all?
  • 00:02:09
    And that's not even including the hospital bills
  • 00:02:11
    that started coming in right away.
  • 00:02:13
    We'll save that for another video, United.
  • 00:02:15
    It's a horrible feeling to essentially have to choose
  • 00:02:17
    between bonding with your brand new baby
  • 00:02:19
    and being able to pay the bills.
  • 00:02:21
    But it's a reality that the vast majority of people
  • 00:02:23
    in the United States experience.
  • 00:02:25
    I'm trying not to cry so early in the video (laughing)
  • 00:02:27
    Learning how to parent and especially being a new mother
  • 00:02:29
    is so hard.
  • 00:02:31
    But I thought at least it would be a little bit easier
  • 00:02:33
    if this was all I had to focus on.
  • 00:02:35
    If all I had to do every day was take care of this baby
  • 00:02:37
    and make sure we're all safe and sound,
  • 00:02:39
    if only I didn't have to think about work too.
  • 00:02:42
    So, throughout this time, I've been thinking a lot
  • 00:02:44
    about the bureaucratic trifecta of parenting stress,
  • 00:02:47
    which to me has been insufficient parental leave,
  • 00:02:50
    healthcare and childcare.
  • 00:02:51
    Initially I wanted to talk about all of them in this video,
  • 00:02:54
    but it got way too long.
  • 00:02:55
    So, again, today I'm gonna be focusing on parental leave.
  • 00:02:58
    This language can obviously be very gendered.
  • 00:03:00
    I'm trying to use more inclusive neutral terminology
  • 00:03:03
    when possible,
  • 00:03:04
    but a lot of these specific policies refer to mothers,
  • 00:03:07
    fathers maternity, paternity leave.
  • 00:03:09
    Some policies are specifically relevant
  • 00:03:11
    to the birthing parents.
  • 00:03:12
    So, just know I do not want this to sound heteronormative.
  • 00:03:15
    I, of course, support all parenting configurations
  • 00:03:17
    and as this paper noted,
  • 00:03:19
    parental leave should be available to
  • 00:03:20
    and is beneficial for parents of all genders.
  • 00:03:23
    So, in the US our nationwide policy
  • 00:03:26
    is the Family and Medical Leave Act established in 1993,
  • 00:03:30
    which provides up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave.
  • 00:03:33
    Meaning if you qualify, your job is protected,
  • 00:03:36
    you can take three months off, but unpaid.
  • 00:03:40
    FML is right.
  • 00:03:41
    According to this brief by Child Trends,
  • 00:03:43
    "The United States is one of only seven countries
  • 00:03:46
    in the world without any kind
  • 00:03:48
    of national paid parental leave policy."
  • 00:03:50
    Why do we insist on being different
  • 00:03:51
    from the rest of the world in the worst ways?
  • 00:03:54
    So, it's basically left up to the states
  • 00:03:55
    to decide if they want to create their own policies.
  • 00:03:58
    And currently 13 states and DC have comprehensive,
  • 00:04:02
    mandatory paid family leave systems.
  • 00:04:05
    So, I was digging in trying to see,
  • 00:04:06
    okay, what states are the best and what are they offering?
  • 00:04:09
    Apparently Oregon has the best policy.
  • 00:04:11
    12 weeks paid leave for a max of 1,568 per week,
  • 00:04:14
    and the birthing parent can take an extra two weeks.
  • 00:04:17
    I live in New York, which has paid leave,
  • 00:04:19
    but as a self-employed person, I did not qualify yet.
  • 00:04:23
    I ended up signing up for the family leave
  • 00:04:26
    and disability insurance,
  • 00:04:27
    but there's a two-year waiting period,
  • 00:04:29
    so I will get to use it if we have more kids in the future
  • 00:04:33
    or any other qualifying life events I guess.
  • 00:04:35
    And then of course, companies can choose
  • 00:04:38
    to create their own paid leave benefits,
  • 00:04:40
    but it's not very common,
  • 00:04:41
    and these tend to benefit the most privileged employees.
  • 00:04:44
    From the "Child Trends Brief" again,
  • 00:04:46
    "The majority of working parents in the US
  • 00:04:48
    do not have access to paid parental leave
  • 00:04:50
    through their employers.
  • 00:04:51
    Against this backdrop, one quarter of mothers
  • 00:04:54
    have to return to work only 10 days after giving birth."
  • 00:04:58
    10 days, that is literally horrific.
  • 00:05:01
    It is sickening.
  • 00:05:02
    And I think this is an interesting moment politically
  • 00:05:04
    because we've seen a conservative shift in culture,
  • 00:05:07
    or at least seemingly, the promotion of trad wives.
  • 00:05:10
    In terms of being further radicalized,
  • 00:05:12
    many of us have heard that as we get older
  • 00:05:14
    or especially as we have kids, we have a family,
  • 00:05:17
    you're gonna become more conservative.
  • 00:05:18
    It's just how things go.
  • 00:05:20
    Yeah, young people are idealistic and liberal,
  • 00:05:22
    but you grow up and you move right, right.
  • 00:05:25
    And I think for many reasons it is really easy
  • 00:05:27
    for fear and anxiety to lead parents down that direction
  • 00:05:30
    because having kids
  • 00:05:32
    and being responsible for them is terrifying.
  • 00:05:34
    But to suggest that the answers to all of these problems lie
  • 00:05:37
    in isolationism, individualism,
  • 00:05:40
    and taking control over your family,
  • 00:05:42
    too much control,
  • 00:05:43
    that's propaganda I am not falling for.
  • 00:05:45
    To me, everything I've witnessed
  • 00:05:47
    and especially what I've experienced
  • 00:05:48
    since becoming a parent,
  • 00:05:49
    again, has only strengthened and magnified my beliefs.
  • 00:05:52
    And those are based in leftist ideals,
  • 00:05:54
    social programs and safety nets, dignity for everyone,
  • 00:05:58
    socially, environmentally, politically.
  • 00:06:00
    We are all so much better off when we care
  • 00:06:02
    about other people we stand up for and with our neighbors.
  • 00:06:06
    Again, there are so many worthy topics
  • 00:06:07
    that I could dive into in a video each.
  • 00:06:10
    Now, of course, you do not have to be a parent
  • 00:06:12
    to care very deeply about all of these issues
  • 00:06:14
    and understand them fully,
  • 00:06:15
    but I am baffled to witness other parents
  • 00:06:18
    who apparently do not feel more compassion
  • 00:06:21
    and more empathy through the experience of parenthood,
  • 00:06:23
    that genuinely does shock me.
  • 00:06:25
    Fascinatingly, a lot of these issues seem bipartisan.
  • 00:06:28
    Yes, it is a problem that people can't afford
  • 00:06:30
    to take time off to bond with their babies
  • 00:06:31
    or raise their kids.
  • 00:06:33
    Yes, childcare is insanely expensive.
  • 00:06:35
    Wouldn't it be great if a family
  • 00:06:36
    could survive off of one income?
  • 00:06:38
    But because we're in a more conservative cultural swing
  • 00:06:41
    right now, there's major disagreement
  • 00:06:42
    on how to fix these problems and whose responsibility it is.
  • 00:06:46
    Do we go for individualistic solutions?
  • 00:06:48
    Pull yourself up by your bootstraps,
  • 00:06:50
    care about your nuclear family,
  • 00:06:52
    or do we go for more collectivist social policies,
  • 00:06:54
    rising tides, lift all boats?
  • 00:06:56
    But before we continue, this portion of today's video
  • 00:06:59
    is sponsored by Nuuly.
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  • 00:07:46
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    So, let's get back into it.
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    By the way, this shirt is also from Nuuly (chuckles)
  • 00:09:11
    Finally, let's do some leave comparisons, okay?
  • 00:09:14
    Because again, the US is pretty much
  • 00:09:16
    one of the only countries in the world
  • 00:09:18
    that does it this way, as in gives us nothing.
  • 00:09:20
    It can be hard to compare these policies directly
  • 00:09:22
    because different countries can have other terms,
  • 00:09:24
    percentages of pay, different time limits, maximums.
  • 00:09:28
    But let's assume that the mom or birthing parent
  • 00:09:31
    is taking the maximum amount that they can
  • 00:09:33
    and their partner is also maxing out
  • 00:09:34
    whatever they're eligible for.
  • 00:09:36
    There are a lot of numbers here.
  • 00:09:37
    I did so much math this week
  • 00:09:38
    and feel free to double check my math
  • 00:09:41
    because I probably got some things wrong.
  • 00:09:43
    Richard Orange wrote that "Iceland can boast
  • 00:09:46
    being the first Scandinavian country
  • 00:09:47
    to bring in paid maternity leave,
  • 00:09:49
    giving women 14 weeks of paid leave in 1946."
  • 00:09:55
    1946.
  • 00:09:57
    Good for you, Iceland,
  • 00:09:58
    but what the hell were we doing in 1946?
  • 00:10:00
    Also, what are we doing in 2025, United States?
  • 00:10:03
    Orange continues,
  • 00:10:04
    "Sweden was the first country
  • 00:10:06
    to bring in shared parental leave,
  • 00:10:08
    allowing both parents to split the then 24 week's leave
  • 00:10:11
    as they saw fit from 1974,
  • 00:10:14
    with Denmark following a decade later in 1984
  • 00:10:17
    and Norway not catching up until 1987."
  • 00:10:20
    If they thought Norway was lagging,
  • 00:10:22
    truly look at us almost 40 years later,
  • 00:10:24
    the US is so far behind, it is not even funny.
  • 00:10:27
    Another example, Canada.
  • 00:10:28
    There's standard or extended leave.
  • 00:10:30
    Standard, birthing parent can take a combined 50 weeks
  • 00:10:34
    at 55% of their salary up to a weekly max.
  • 00:10:37
    Their partner can also take five weeks,
  • 00:10:38
    or they could choose to split the 40 standard weeks
  • 00:10:41
    between parents, however they choose.
  • 00:10:43
    Extended leave offers more time, but at a lower rate of pay.
  • 00:10:47
    The birthing parent can take almost a year and a half off
  • 00:10:50
    at 33% of their salary,
  • 00:10:52
    and that still leaves eight weeks for the other parent.
  • 00:10:55
    Then we have Japan.
  • 00:10:56
    Japan has maternity and paternity leave.
  • 00:10:58
    And then beyond that,
  • 00:11:00
    you can transition into childcare leave
  • 00:11:02
    and take time off until your child turns 1-year-old.
  • 00:11:06
    And even beyond that, if both parents are working
  • 00:11:09
    and there are no spots for the child in a daycare,
  • 00:11:11
    childcare leave can be extended.
  • 00:11:13
    Oh, take time off for your child
  • 00:11:15
    and then if you can't figure out
  • 00:11:16
    your child's care situation,
  • 00:11:18
    you can continue caring for your child.
  • 00:11:20
    That's a crazy concept.
  • 00:11:21
    I don't know, I don't know.
  • 00:11:23
    Next up, Estonia.
  • 00:11:25
    Okay, Estonia, I had no idea.
  • 00:11:27
    Estonia has one of the most generous policies in the world,
  • 00:11:30
    and I actually lost my mind looking
  • 00:11:32
    at all of these benefits.
  • 00:11:33
    So, for context, their median wage is roughly 20,000 Euros,
  • 00:11:38
    and they have a flat tax rate of 22%.
  • 00:11:40
    Estonia offers 100 days maternity leave
  • 00:11:43
    with guaranteed state health insurance
  • 00:11:46
    for all mothers, by the way, love that.
  • 00:11:48
    Plus 30 days paternity leave, plus shared parental leave,
  • 00:11:52
    which lasts up to 475 days.
  • 00:11:55
    So, again, mothers can take a maximum of 575 days.
  • 00:12:00
    How long is that?
  • 00:12:02
    (Tiffany chuckles)
  • 00:12:02
    That's like a year and seven months-ish,
  • 00:12:05
    plus paternity leave.
  • 00:12:06
    But wait, there's more.
  • 00:12:08
    And these family benefits are not means tested,
  • 00:12:10
    they're for everyone.
  • 00:12:11
    Just listen, one time childbirth allowance,
  • 00:12:14
    a monthly allowance for each child,
  • 00:12:16
    extra supplements if you have triplets or more multiples,
  • 00:12:19
    and bonus allowances for large families.
  • 00:12:22
    And those are all stacking baby.
  • 00:12:23
    Can you tell that maybe Estonia
  • 00:12:25
    is trying to encourage its population to have more kids?
  • 00:12:28
    Can you tell that their government seems invested in that
  • 00:12:30
    and is willing to put the money where their mouth is?
  • 00:12:33
    Is that the phrase?
  • 00:12:34
    And of course, as this article noted,
  • 00:12:35
    money alone is not gonna convince most people
  • 00:12:37
    to have more kids, but some extra money absolutely does help
  • 00:12:41
    if you do want to have more kids,
  • 00:12:43
    and it makes having a family more feasible.
  • 00:12:45
    Everyone's worried about lowering birth rates.
  • 00:12:47
    Okay, at least start with this, offer some money.
  • 00:12:50
    Help me see how I'm gonna afford to live with my children
  • 00:12:52
    and then we'll see.
  • 00:12:53
    So, I come from a family of four kids
  • 00:12:56
    and I wanted to crunch some numbs, again, do more math.
  • 00:12:58
    Let's pretend I live in Estonia.
  • 00:13:01
    Let's pretend all these policies existed
  • 00:13:03
    since my oldest sibling was born.
  • 00:13:05
    The amounts never changed,
  • 00:13:06
    disregard inflation, whatever (chuckles)
  • 00:13:08
    If my parents, two working parents received leave payments
  • 00:13:12
    for every birth, plus all the child allowances and bonuses,
  • 00:13:15
    my family would've received a minimum of,
  • 00:13:18
    pause, I did in fact mess up the math (chuckles)
  • 00:13:20
    The minimum is actually 182,000 Euros
  • 00:13:24
    to a max of 446,000 Euros after tax.
  • 00:13:29
    Now, that's over a period of like 19 years,
  • 00:13:31
    but still, that is a huge amount of extra money
  • 00:13:34
    that would've been in my family's pocket.
  • 00:13:35
    Imagine what all that money could have gone toward.
  • 00:13:38
    If that seems extreme though, here's another scenario.
  • 00:13:40
    Let's say two working parents with one child,
  • 00:13:43
    if you earn median wages, 40,082 Euros after tax,
  • 00:13:48
    imagine a government giving you anything (chuckles)
  • 00:13:51
    Imagine your tax dollars going back to the people.
  • 00:13:54
    Now, you may be saying,
  • 00:13:55
    okay, sure, but the United States can't do it, okay?
  • 00:13:58
    Okay, those places have smaller populations, right?
  • 00:14:02
    Estonia has a population of like 1.3 million, that's tiny.
  • 00:14:05
    Canada has 40 million, okay?
  • 00:14:07
    But the United States has 340 million people,
  • 00:14:10
    so we're too big, can't do it.
  • 00:14:12
    Hey, guess what?
  • 00:14:13
    We're also one of the richest countries in the world.
  • 00:14:16
    How many billionaires do we have?
  • 00:14:18
    Many countries that are smaller and poorer
  • 00:14:21
    do in fact offer paid parental leave, healthcare, childcare.
  • 00:14:25
    It is possible, and we absolutely have the money.
  • 00:14:28
    Now, where are our tax dollars going?
  • 00:14:30
    I wanna speak to the military, please.
  • 00:14:32
    We're just out here funding wars
  • 00:14:34
    instead of taking care of our own people.
  • 00:14:36
    Great, and do we get to choose?
  • 00:14:38
    Do we get to say, hey, no, I don't wanna spend
  • 00:14:39
    my money on that, actually?
  • 00:14:40
    Okay, okay, well, enjoy getting taxed at huge rates.
  • 00:14:44
    Yeah, your taxes are gonna go way up.
  • 00:14:45
    I would very happily take Estonia's flat 22% tax rate
  • 00:14:49
    if it meant that our tax dollars
  • 00:14:50
    were actually going back to the people.
  • 00:14:52
    And also we spend so much money on things like healthcare.
  • 00:14:55
    Hey, even just your insurance premiums every month,
  • 00:14:57
    let alone your deductibles, your out of pocket expenses,
  • 00:15:00
    yeah, I would much prefer having a slightly higher tax rate
  • 00:15:05
    and receiving all those benefits,
  • 00:15:06
    and I would definitely be happier
  • 00:15:08
    to know that everybody in the country received
  • 00:15:11
    those benefits, that everyone was taken care of.
  • 00:15:14
    Yeah, raise my taxes, anyway, wow.
  • 00:15:16
    (Tiffany laughing)
  • 00:15:17
    It's just insane being in this country,
  • 00:15:19
    being told that it's impossible,
  • 00:15:21
    it's pie in the sky to do any of these things,
  • 00:15:23
    to take care of people, families, kids, education,
  • 00:15:26
    healthcare, anything to be gaslit
  • 00:15:28
    and told that it's impossible
  • 00:15:30
    when literally the vast majority of the world does it.
  • 00:15:33
    So many Americans have been brainwashed,
  • 00:15:35
    again, by these conservative ideologies that tell us,
  • 00:15:37
    no, no, no, the solution to all these problems
  • 00:15:40
    is focus on the nuclear family,
  • 00:15:42
    don't give a (censored) about anybody else.
  • 00:15:44
    The answer is actually pull yourself up by your bootstraps,
  • 00:15:46
    let's remove regulations.
  • 00:15:48
    Let's actually lower taxes
  • 00:15:49
    and then just take care of yourself, boom.
  • 00:15:52
    Anyway, actually, I'm in a great mood today
  • 00:15:54
    because Zohran Mamdani won the (censored) primary.
  • 00:15:58
    New York City mayor.
  • 00:15:59
    Bye, Cuomo.
  • 00:16:01
    Bye.
  • 00:16:01
    Obviously we still have the general election,
  • 00:16:04
    still gotta win, still gotta put in a lot of work,
  • 00:16:06
    still gotta fight against the establishment
  • 00:16:07
    and the bullshit and all the slandering and smears
  • 00:16:09
    that they're gonna throw his way.
  • 00:16:11
    But we've got the people, baby, we've got volunteers,
  • 00:16:14
    we've got oh, oh, oh policies
  • 00:16:16
    that actually care about working people,
  • 00:16:18
    about making people's lives more affordable,
  • 00:16:20
    about taking care of people,
  • 00:16:21
    and wow, that actually gets people fired up
  • 00:16:24
    to not only vote, but to get out there
  • 00:16:27
    and knock on some doors.
  • 00:16:28
    I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe,
  • 00:16:30
    maybe the democratic strategy of leaning to the right,
  • 00:16:34
    maybe that's not working.
  • 00:16:35
    Maybe Democrats shouldn't go after this,
  • 00:16:37
    like mystical, centrist voter.
  • 00:16:39
    Maybe we should lean in
  • 00:16:40
    and actually be a party for the working class again.
  • 00:16:43
    Maybe we should just focus on issues that help people.
  • 00:16:46
    It's as simple as that, but what about the donors?
  • 00:16:48
    What about the lobbyists?
  • 00:16:49
    What about the Super PACs?
  • 00:16:50
    Anyway, what I say like I'm radicalized,
  • 00:16:52
    this is what I'm talking about.
  • 00:16:53
    These are all, again, not radical,
  • 00:16:55
    most of the world is doing these things, not radical.
  • 00:16:58
    In this country we smear people and we're like,
  • 00:17:00
    ah, scary Democratic socialist, and guess what?
  • 00:17:03
    The rest of the world,
  • 00:17:04
    most of Europe is over there being like,
  • 00:17:06
    oh, actually that's like standard (chuckles)
  • 00:17:08
    That's a centrist.
  • 00:17:09
    Our Democrats, oh, those are conservatives, right?
  • 00:17:12
    I'm confused.
  • 00:17:13
    So, this whole video is just about Democratic strategy,
  • 00:17:15
    now I'm like, hold on, now that I got you.
  • 00:17:17
    With that, let's get into,
  • 00:17:18
    what is the point of parental leave?
  • 00:17:20
    What are the benefits and why does this matter?
  • 00:17:23
    As I just mentioned, mothers having to go back to work
  • 00:17:25
    after 10 days is sickening.
  • 00:17:28
    It is beyond cruel.
  • 00:17:30
    Physically, the recovery is huge,
  • 00:17:32
    and that's even assuming that you had a very smooth birth,
  • 00:17:35
    that you and the baby are healthy.
  • 00:17:36
    If you had any complications,
  • 00:17:38
    that recovery is even more difficult.
  • 00:17:40
    We have a six-week checkup after birth,
  • 00:17:43
    which is first of all crazy
  • 00:17:44
    that we don't have a checkup sooner than that.
  • 00:17:46
    But that's why some people kind of believe,
  • 00:17:48
    oh, after six weeks you must be all good.
  • 00:17:50
    No, but that's just physically.
  • 00:17:52
    Mentally, emotionally, hormonally,
  • 00:17:54
    birthing parents experience, so much.
  • 00:17:56
    It is so crucial to be able to have time to bond
  • 00:17:59
    with your newborn for both parents too,
  • 00:18:01
    to learn your brand new babies' habits and how to parent,
  • 00:18:05
    how to take care of them.
  • 00:18:06
    If you're breastfeeding, that is literally a full-time job
  • 00:18:10
    and it is the most difficult thing.
  • 00:18:11
    So, physically, mentally, emotionally,
  • 00:18:13
    it can be incredibly difficult to be forced
  • 00:18:16
    to return to work and be separated from your child.
  • 00:18:19
    All parents deserve to have quality time to bond with
  • 00:18:22
    and care for their children,
  • 00:18:24
    and a couple of days or even a couple of weeks
  • 00:18:26
    does not cut it.
  • 00:18:26
    Well, let's say a mother does take maternity leave.
  • 00:18:29
    Taking parental leave is not easy.
  • 00:18:31
    It is absolutely not a vacation.
  • 00:18:33
    Yeah, you're away from work, but you are fully responsible
  • 00:18:35
    for a whole baby 100% of the time (chuckles)
  • 00:18:38
    It's constant and challenging.
  • 00:18:40
    If your leave is paid,
  • 00:18:41
    of course that really helps to reduce the financial burden
  • 00:18:44
    and some stress,
  • 00:18:45
    but it's still an incredibly demanding time.
  • 00:18:47
    It is not chill (chuckles)
  • 00:18:48
    Emma Barnett wrote,
  • 00:18:50
    "There should be no guilt in saying
  • 00:18:52
    you find maternity leave hard,
  • 00:18:53
    that you don't enjoy every single second with your child,
  • 00:18:56
    that it's knackering in the truest sense,
  • 00:18:58
    that you miss alone time with your partner
  • 00:19:00
    and with yourself,
  • 00:19:01
    and at times, you find the experience boring.
  • 00:19:03
    Negative feelings aren't personal against your baby.
  • 00:19:06
    It is okay to say you love them,
  • 00:19:08
    but that you don't love your new existence yet,
  • 00:19:10
    and that you still mourn for aspects of your old one."
  • 00:19:13
    This is really just bringing me back to the newborn trenches
  • 00:19:16
    and it is incredibly emotional.
  • 00:19:17
    There is a huge, huge value and benefit
  • 00:19:20
    of having both parents at home
  • 00:19:21
    at least for some amount of time.
  • 00:19:23
    First, because we need all hands on deck.
  • 00:19:25
    Newborns are being fed, changed, and going back to sleep,
  • 00:19:28
    they're being rocked constantly.
  • 00:19:29
    It's so easy for sleep deprivation to set in.
  • 00:19:32
    You need two people at least.
  • 00:19:34
    But again, what happens
  • 00:19:35
    if you have little to no parental leave?
  • 00:19:37
    Greg Rosalsky wrote, "Only about a quarter
  • 00:19:40
    of American workers regardless of gender,
  • 00:19:42
    have access to paid parental leave.
  • 00:19:44
    Most new parents in America have to cobble together
  • 00:19:46
    other leave like vacation or sick leave,
  • 00:19:49
    or simply take unpaid leave if they wanna take time off
  • 00:19:51
    to care for their newborn."
  • 00:19:53
    Some parents don't even qualify for that unpaid leave,
  • 00:19:56
    which is horrible.
  • 00:19:57
    Others are forced to go back to work very soon
  • 00:19:59
    because they can't afford to stay away.
  • 00:20:01
    They need that paycheck.
  • 00:20:02
    And honestly, especially during these economic times,
  • 00:20:04
    that's pretty much everyone.
  • 00:20:05
    From the "Child Trends Brief,"
  • 00:20:07
    "Access to paid parental leave
  • 00:20:08
    is also distributed inequitably.
  • 00:20:11
    Black and Hispanic workers
  • 00:20:12
    are less likely to have access to it than White workers.
  • 00:20:15
    Low wage workers are also less likely to have it
  • 00:20:17
    than higher wage workers.
  • 00:20:19
    Because paid parental leave is strongly linked
  • 00:20:21
    to family health and economic wellbeing,
  • 00:20:23
    disparities in access to parental leave
  • 00:20:25
    may contribute to the large racial
  • 00:20:27
    and ethnic disparities in maternal health,
  • 00:20:29
    infant health and poverty."
  • 00:20:31
    The real Catch-22 of having insufficient paid parental leave
  • 00:20:34
    is that you end up needing to go back to work
  • 00:20:37
    for your income,
  • 00:20:38
    but then you'll be spending a huge chunk of your paycheck
  • 00:20:41
    on childcare so that you can work.
  • 00:20:43
    So, do you earn enough for that to be worth it?
  • 00:20:45
    It is a horrible complicated decision
  • 00:20:47
    that so many parents are forced to make.
  • 00:20:49
    Parents, often mothers, are forced to either quit their jobs
  • 00:20:52
    or try to juggle working full-time with parenting.
  • 00:20:55
    That idea that moms can have it all,
  • 00:20:57
    girl boss, it is a myth.
  • 00:20:59
    So, if both parents do return to work,
  • 00:21:02
    what do you do about childcare?
  • 00:21:03
    If you're lucky, you may be able
  • 00:21:05
    to get free childcare from family members,
  • 00:21:08
    but first of all, that's a lot of pressure
  • 00:21:09
    for those family members and often this still relies
  • 00:21:11
    on the unpaid domestic labor from women.
  • 00:21:14
    There's been a lot of discussions about grandparents
  • 00:21:16
    being like the assumed babysitters.
  • 00:21:18
    I don't think you can assume that grandparents
  • 00:21:19
    are willing or able to babysit, especially not full time.
  • 00:21:22
    If my mother-in-law were nearby,
  • 00:21:24
    she would absolutely love to babysit,
  • 00:21:25
    but she's in England (chuckles)
  • 00:21:27
    but also many parents are within this sandwich generation
  • 00:21:30
    where they're already caring for their kids
  • 00:21:32
    and their own aging parents.
  • 00:21:34
    So, it's not even an option for everyone.
  • 00:21:36
    Well, can't you just work from home
  • 00:21:37
    while taking care of the kids?
  • 00:21:39
    Many parents were forced to do this during COVID lockdowns,
  • 00:21:42
    but it's nearly impossible for most to sustain.
  • 00:21:44
    According to Reddit,
  • 00:21:45
    there are some jobs where this is doable.
  • 00:21:46
    I guess if you can kind of work in little pockets
  • 00:21:49
    throughout the day or if your role requires
  • 00:21:51
    a lot of waiting around for other people,
  • 00:21:52
    and maybe it's doable with older kids,
  • 00:21:54
    but if you've got a newborn at home,
  • 00:21:56
    that's probably impossible.
  • 00:21:57
    This is kind of my situation
  • 00:21:58
    because I am basically working from home part-time now
  • 00:22:02
    and my hours are pretty flexible,
  • 00:22:04
    but still, when I work I need dedicated time to focus.
  • 00:22:07
    I need a couple hours at a time
  • 00:22:09
    to write and research, film, edit.
  • 00:22:11
    Like I said, my initial plan (chuckles) naive of being like,
  • 00:22:14
    oh, I can just work when the baby naps.
  • 00:22:16
    That was not possible for a long time.
  • 00:22:18
    Now my baby is napping maybe 2 1/2 hours a day total,
  • 00:22:22
    but that's still almost nothing.
  • 00:22:23
    And often I have to do other chores around the house
  • 00:22:26
    or I have to like eat (chuckles) when she's asleep.
  • 00:22:28
    Our situation is extra rough
  • 00:22:30
    because we really have no village.
  • 00:22:32
    Neither of our families live nearby,
  • 00:22:34
    they're actually both basically a six-hour flight away.
  • 00:22:37
    So, realizing that this was impossible,
  • 00:22:39
    I started to look for a part-time babysitter
  • 00:22:42
    so that I could get some hours of work done during the week
  • 00:22:44
    and then add a bit more at nights and on weekends,
  • 00:22:47
    try to do as much as I could.
  • 00:22:49
    Our childcare situation ended up
  • 00:22:50
    being a lot more complicated than I thought.
  • 00:22:52
    For the past six months or so,
  • 00:22:54
    we've been paying about 1,000 to $1,500 a month
  • 00:22:57
    just for me to be able to work about 15 hours a week
  • 00:23:00
    while the babysitter's there.
  • 00:23:01
    And relying on babysitters has been very difficult
  • 00:23:04
    compared to like a daycare
  • 00:23:05
    because when my one babysitter is sick
  • 00:23:07
    or they have an emergency or they have to call out,
  • 00:23:10
    that's the one person I was counting on.
  • 00:23:12
    I have a couple of backups,
  • 00:23:13
    but reaching out last minute often they're not available,
  • 00:23:16
    so that disrupts my work schedule
  • 00:23:18
    and it tends to happen at the worst times,
  • 00:23:19
    like when I need to film a video or I have a deadline.
  • 00:23:22
    So, that's been really tough to adjust to.
  • 00:23:24
    It is so wild how many curve balls get thrown your way
  • 00:23:27
    when you're just trying to work as a parent.
  • 00:23:29
    Just for this video,
  • 00:23:30
    my daughter just caught her first ever cold,
  • 00:23:33
    so she was sick and then I got sick (chuckles)
  • 00:23:35
    and you just never really catch a break.
  • 00:23:37
    Anyway, as we all know, childcare,
  • 00:23:40
    especially in the US is insanely expensive
  • 00:23:43
    and it's very difficult to find.
  • 00:23:44
    You want quality, reliable childcare.
  • 00:23:46
    You're looking for great daycares in your area.
  • 00:23:48
    They have long wait lists.
  • 00:23:50
    Some people get their kid on the wait list
  • 00:23:52
    while they're still pregnant,
  • 00:23:53
    months before they're even born,
  • 00:23:54
    and the actual costs tend to be close to an extra rent
  • 00:23:58
    or mortgage payment per child.
  • 00:24:00
    How do people afford this?
  • 00:24:01
    I don't know.
  • 00:24:02
    According to Pew, "In 2018, the median annual cost
  • 00:24:06
    of childcare for one child in 2022 dollars,
  • 00:24:09
    ranged from $5,300 to $17,000,"
  • 00:24:13
    depending on the age of the child, the younger,
  • 00:24:15
    the more expensive it is and your location.
  • 00:24:17
    "In a given county, the median cost per child
  • 00:24:20
    was anywhere from 8% to 19% of the median household income
  • 00:24:25
    in that county."
  • 00:24:26
    10 to 20% of your income to childcare per child.
  • 00:24:29
    Losing my mind.
  • 00:24:30
    Many families would love to have kids
  • 00:24:33
    or love to have more kids
  • 00:24:34
    if they didn't have to worry about affording the childcare.
  • 00:24:37
    Of all things in the world and all the complications
  • 00:24:39
    of making that decision,
  • 00:24:40
    childcare should not be the deciding factor.
  • 00:24:43
    It's so unfair that people have been put in this position.
  • 00:24:45
    Meanwhile Trump's like,
  • 00:24:46
    "What about a one-time payment of five grand?"
  • 00:24:48
    Is that enough to raise a child?
  • 00:24:49
    How much is a banana?
  • 00:24:50
    $10?
  • 00:24:50
    And this is again, another reason that paid family leave
  • 00:24:53
    is so beneficial because if you as a parent
  • 00:24:55
    are able to take 6, 12, 18 months of paid leave,
  • 00:24:59
    you can care for your own child (chuckles)
  • 00:25:01
    and that's time that you don't have to pay for childcare,
  • 00:25:04
    especially during that infant window
  • 00:25:07
    because infant childcare is the most expensive.
  • 00:25:09
    It really is a win-win for people.
  • 00:25:10
    Come on, let's talk about the motherhood penalty, okay?
  • 00:25:13
    We have these deeply ingrained cultural ideals
  • 00:25:16
    and gender norms that affect how mothers, fathers,
  • 00:25:19
    and child-free folks are perceived differently
  • 00:25:21
    in the workforce.
  • 00:25:22
    And family leave can actually play a big role
  • 00:25:25
    in shifting these expectations.
  • 00:25:27
    Women are absolutely discriminated against,
  • 00:25:29
    especially if they're of childbearing age.
  • 00:25:31
    Don't risk hiring or promoting a woman
  • 00:25:33
    because she's just gonna end up having kids.
  • 00:25:35
    And obviously this assumption
  • 00:25:36
    can impact child-free women as well
  • 00:25:38
    because some employers will always assume,
  • 00:25:40
    no, you're gonna change your mind.
  • 00:25:42
    You're a woman, you're gonna have kids.
  • 00:25:43
    So, the motherhood penalty is all of these trends
  • 00:25:47
    that harm women and their trajectory
  • 00:25:49
    in the workforce, their pay.
  • 00:25:51
    Fun facts, many moms incomes drop after they have children
  • 00:25:54
    and it gets lower with each successive child.
  • 00:25:57
    And dads actually win more respect, more opportunities,
  • 00:26:00
    and often are given a raise.
  • 00:26:02
    Great going, dad (chuckles)
  • 00:26:04
    good job, buddy.
  • 00:26:05
    So, this is one big contributor to the gender wage gap.
  • 00:26:09
    Claire Cain Miller wrote, "Employers read fathers
  • 00:26:12
    as more stable and committed to their work.
  • 00:26:14
    They have a family to provide for,
  • 00:26:16
    so they're less likely to be flaky.
  • 00:26:18
    That is the opposite of how parenthood by women
  • 00:26:20
    is interpreted by employers.
  • 00:26:22
    The conventional story is they work less
  • 00:26:24
    and they're more distractible when on the job.
  • 00:26:26
    These differences persist even after controlling for factors
  • 00:26:29
    like the hours people work, the types of jobs they choose,
  • 00:26:32
    and the salaries of their spouses.
  • 00:26:33
    So, the disparity is not
  • 00:26:35
    because mothers actually become less productive
  • 00:26:38
    and fathers work harder when they become parents,
  • 00:26:40
    but because employers expect them to."
  • 00:26:43
    Long term, again, moms who leave the workforce
  • 00:26:46
    to do childcare, take care of their kids,
  • 00:26:48
    they lose years of experience,
  • 00:26:50
    earnings, potential promotions,
  • 00:26:52
    Social Security contributions, retirement contributions,
  • 00:26:55
    those have rippling impacts through the rest of their lives.
  • 00:26:58
    So, there's an economic disadvantage,
  • 00:27:00
    plus an even tougher time if and when they end up trying
  • 00:27:02
    to get back into the workforce years later.
  • 00:27:04
    Miller continues,
  • 00:27:05
    "This bias is most extreme for the parents
  • 00:27:08
    who can least afford it.
  • 00:27:09
    High-income men get the biggest pay bump for having children
  • 00:27:12
    and low-income women pay the biggest price."
  • 00:27:14
    This is a big reason why offering
  • 00:27:16
    and encouraging paid parental leave
  • 00:27:18
    for both mothers and fathers is so important.
  • 00:27:21
    Miller wrote, "In Ms. Budig's previous work,
  • 00:27:23
    she has found that two policies shrink
  • 00:27:25
    the motherhood penalty,
  • 00:27:26
    publicly funded, high-quality childcare
  • 00:27:28
    for babies and toddlers,
  • 00:27:30
    and moderate-length paid parental leave."
  • 00:27:32
    It helps to cut down on the discrimination
  • 00:27:34
    against women and mothers and also of course
  • 00:27:36
    that should be involved in parenting.
  • 00:27:38
    Bring on the paternity leave, baby.
  • 00:27:40
    When it comes to dads taking parental leave,
  • 00:27:42
    it's so important for them to first of all,
  • 00:27:44
    get to know their own child,
  • 00:27:46
    get to experience this side of parenting
  • 00:27:49
    that they otherwise would miss.
  • 00:27:50
    It's hard for many dads to truly understand
  • 00:27:53
    how hard it is staying home with a baby
  • 00:27:55
    and many dads end up appreciating
  • 00:27:57
    their partner more, thanks.
  • 00:27:58
    When you share the domestic labor load, you get it.
  • 00:28:01
    On a larger societal level,
  • 00:28:03
    paid parental leave helps to promote gender equality,
  • 00:28:06
    especially in heteronormative couples.
  • 00:28:08
    It's never gonna be a perfect 50/50,
  • 00:28:10
    but at least you're working
  • 00:28:11
    toward a more fair division of domestic labor.
  • 00:28:15
    So, what's the sitch with paternity leave?
  • 00:28:16
    Pew wrote, "In most cases,
  • 00:28:18
    the amount of paid leave specifically for fathers
  • 00:28:20
    is about two weeks or less."
  • 00:28:22
    There are some dads that have to go to work immediately
  • 00:28:24
    after their child is born or like the next day,
  • 00:28:27
    which is absolutely insane.
  • 00:28:29
    But two weeks even is so short,
  • 00:28:32
    it's barely enough time to get into the newborn rhythm.
  • 00:28:34
    And again, having two parents at home is very helpful.
  • 00:28:37
    And even if mom is on leave,
  • 00:28:39
    it is really hard to be with a newborn on your own.
  • 00:28:42
    I literally sobbed when Nathan went back to work
  • 00:28:44
    after two weeks and I was saying it's cruel.
  • 00:28:47
    I was in the trenches,
  • 00:28:49
    I was trying to figure out breastfeeding and failing
  • 00:28:51
    and feeling so hurt about that.
  • 00:28:53
    I was trying to pump more frequently to increase my supply,
  • 00:28:57
    but I literally could not do it alone.
  • 00:28:58
    Like I would have to be changed
  • 00:29:00
    to my pump plugged into the wall,
  • 00:29:01
    but my baby wanted me to hold her
  • 00:29:03
    and I just couldn't do it at the same time.
  • 00:29:05
    And then I just kept feeling more and more guilty
  • 00:29:07
    that breastfeeding wasn't working out for me.
  • 00:29:09
    Now, thank God, formula is amazing.
  • 00:29:11
    I didn't have a stigma against it in my mind,
  • 00:29:13
    but I had wanted to breastfeed
  • 00:29:16
    and so I was really upset that it wasn't happening.
  • 00:29:18
    And then everything else, you know?
  • 00:29:20
    Even with Nathan around it was hard.
  • 00:29:22
    It was hard for both of us.
  • 00:29:23
    It was a lot, but it didn't have to be that hard.
  • 00:29:26
    Two weeks after the birth of the baby
  • 00:29:27
    was way too soon for me,
  • 00:29:29
    and I know for him as well,
  • 00:29:31
    he didn't wanna be leaving the baby,
  • 00:29:32
    he didn't want to be going back to work so soon,
  • 00:29:35
    but that was just how it shook out.
  • 00:29:37
    But again, there's a cultural problem
  • 00:29:38
    when it comes to paternity leave.
  • 00:29:40
    If it's offered, many dads are very hesitant to take it.
  • 00:29:44
    They worry about how that's gonna impact their job.
  • 00:29:46
    Are their coworkers gonna judge them?
  • 00:29:48
    Are their bosses gonna think
  • 00:29:49
    that they're not serious and not committed?
  • 00:29:51
    Rosalsky wrote, "This is especially the case
  • 00:29:53
    in Japan and South Korea, where despite government policies,
  • 00:29:57
    workplace cultures often strongly discouraged taking leave.
  • 00:30:00
    Fathers, often quite rationally,
  • 00:30:01
    fear that their careers will be damaged
  • 00:30:03
    if they take time off.
  • 00:30:05
    After all, as the research shows,
  • 00:30:06
    the careers of many mothers have long taken a major hit."
  • 00:30:09
    When one dad chooses not to take it
  • 00:30:11
    or only to take a couple of days,
  • 00:30:13
    that then discourages other dads in the future
  • 00:30:16
    and it keeps reinforcing the problem.
  • 00:30:17
    We have this culture, this expectation that dads,
  • 00:30:20
    they shouldn't really take time off.
  • 00:30:22
    They don't need to, right?
  • 00:30:23
    So, how can we encourage more dads
  • 00:30:26
    to take their paternity leave?
  • 00:30:28
    How can we change the culture
  • 00:30:30
    and make it more acceptable, more normalized?
  • 00:30:32
    The Nordic countries have been working on this for decades.
  • 00:30:36
    Rosalsky wrote,
  • 00:30:37
    "Sweden created the first extensive gender
  • 00:30:39
    neutral paid parental leave.
  • 00:30:40
    But by the mid 1990s it became clear
  • 00:30:43
    that despite this gender-neutral policy,
  • 00:30:45
    fathers were opting out and mothers were still taking
  • 00:30:47
    the vast majority of the family's allotted leave.
  • 00:30:50
    So, in 1993, Norway led the charge
  • 00:30:52
    and introduced what's known as a 'daddy quota.'"
  • 00:30:55
    We don't have to call it that (chuckles)
  • 00:30:57
    "The government gave fathers four weeks of paid leave
  • 00:30:59
    that only they could use.
  • 00:31:02
    They could not transfer it to their spouse.
  • 00:31:04
    If they didn't use it, their family would lose it.
  • 00:31:06
    This proved to be a powerful incentive.
  • 00:31:08
    Before the introduction of the "daddy quota,"
  • 00:31:11
    only about 2.4% of Norwegian fathers took paternity leave,
  • 00:31:14
    and more than 70% of Norwegian fathers
  • 00:31:17
    are now taking
  • 00:31:17
    their full 15-week paternity leave benefit or more."
  • 00:31:21
    Obviously it takes a lot more than a policy
  • 00:31:24
    to change these huge cultural norms,
  • 00:31:26
    but is use it or lose it policies have been pretty effective
  • 00:31:30
    and they can shift those expectations over time.
  • 00:31:33
    The more dads take it, the more normalized it will become,
  • 00:31:36
    and eventually, hopefully a non-issue
  • 00:31:38
    or actually something that's encouraged.
  • 00:31:40
    Hey, imagine that.
  • 00:31:41
    Go dad, go be a parent, take your time off.
  • 00:31:43
    Final thoughts quickly.
  • 00:31:45
    Some may say, you know, all this talk of paid parental leave
  • 00:31:47
    is unfair to child-free people.
  • 00:31:49
    Why should parents and families get so many benefits?
  • 00:31:51
    And you know what?
  • 00:31:52
    It sucks being the coworkers of people on leave
  • 00:31:54
    because we get stuck with all the extra work.
  • 00:31:57
    I have heard a lot of stories of people saying that
  • 00:31:59
    where you know, so and so's gone on parental leave
  • 00:32:01
    and now all their workload is transferred to their coworkers
  • 00:32:05
    and that sucks definitely.
  • 00:32:06
    But this is not your coworker's fault.
  • 00:32:08
    It's not your coworker's fault
  • 00:32:09
    to take their rightful time off,
  • 00:32:11
    it is your boss's fault, it is the company's fault.
  • 00:32:14
    They should not be passing the work along to you,
  • 00:32:16
    they should be hiring temps to cover.
  • 00:32:18
    And I think this is again,
  • 00:32:19
    why it's better to have this kind of leave covered by,
  • 00:32:22
    you know, social tax than solely being funded by employers
  • 00:32:26
    because then it frees up the money for companies
  • 00:32:29
    to hire temps, to hire people to cover that work.
  • 00:32:32
    Another element of this,
  • 00:32:33
    like I know child-free people can be bothered
  • 00:32:36
    when parents assume that they deserve
  • 00:32:39
    to like have holidays off
  • 00:32:40
    or they deserve more time or flexibility
  • 00:32:43
    because they have kids and child-free people are like,
  • 00:32:45
    hey, well, we have families and lives too.
  • 00:32:47
    We wanna enjoy holidays,
  • 00:32:49
    why should you get time off just 'cause you're a parent?
  • 00:32:51
    My answer is everyone should get time off.
  • 00:32:53
    I know that's a more complicated issue,
  • 00:32:56
    but like again, I think it's always good
  • 00:32:57
    to focus your animosity toward the company.
  • 00:33:00
    They are the ones who are understaffing
  • 00:33:02
    and making this difficult versus taking it out
  • 00:33:05
    on your coworker who's just trying to live.
  • 00:33:07
    But ultimately the issue of paid family leave
  • 00:33:09
    is actually not just relevant to parents.
  • 00:33:12
    Yes, often we're talking about maternity, paternity leave,
  • 00:33:15
    but in the US it's Family and Medical Leave,
  • 00:33:18
    which includes caring for babies or kids,
  • 00:33:20
    but also to care for a family member
  • 00:33:21
    if they have a serious medical condition
  • 00:33:23
    or to take leave yourself if you are unable to work.
  • 00:33:26
    Plus all kinds of military family leave.
  • 00:33:28
    Ultimately this should not devolve
  • 00:33:30
    into a battle of child-free folks versus parents.
  • 00:33:33
    This is about giving everyone the ability and the dignity
  • 00:33:36
    to take care of themselves,
  • 00:33:38
    be cared for or care for others.
  • 00:33:40
    Let's focus, okay?
  • 00:33:42
    The person next to you is not the enemy.
  • 00:33:43
    Again, as I've repeated throughout this video,
  • 00:33:45
    I just want people to have the freedom
  • 00:33:48
    to choose what is right for themselves and their family.
  • 00:33:51
    Like the idea of Wages for Housework,
  • 00:33:53
    which has been a long time, you know, feminist idea.
  • 00:33:56
    There's all this domestic labor, it's all unpaid,
  • 00:33:58
    most of it lands on the shoulders of women.
  • 00:34:00
    In situations like parental leave or childcare leave,
  • 00:34:03
    we are paying people, parents, for that domestic labor.
  • 00:34:07
    I think that's a great thing.
  • 00:34:08
    Some would argue that it's kind of a dangerous precedent
  • 00:34:11
    because it could encourage many women
  • 00:34:13
    to leave the workforce.
  • 00:34:15
    There's a concern that rather than this
  • 00:34:17
    being an issue of choice or freedom,
  • 00:34:19
    it's actually a trap for women.
  • 00:34:21
    It's a trap that's gonna force women out of the workforce
  • 00:34:23
    and encourage tradwifery
  • 00:34:25
    and it's a dangerous conservative slope.
  • 00:34:27
    And I disagree with that.
  • 00:34:29
    I think as long as there is a feasible,
  • 00:34:31
    truly sustainable route on either side,
  • 00:34:34
    I think both parents should have the choice.
  • 00:34:36
    Mothers, fathers, anyone,
  • 00:34:38
    they should have the choice to either continue working,
  • 00:34:40
    put the kids in childcare,
  • 00:34:41
    or potentially be a stay-at-home parent
  • 00:34:43
    and be paid for that domestic labor.
  • 00:34:45
    We pay childcare workers to do the job of childcare
  • 00:34:48
    and as I believe we should have the government pay for
  • 00:34:51
    or subsidize childcare.
  • 00:34:53
    On that same note,
  • 00:34:53
    why not direct those funds toward parents
  • 00:34:56
    who would prefer to just care for their children directly?
  • 00:34:58
    I love it (chuckles)
  • 00:34:59
    I also think there's a great need for more flexible work.
  • 00:35:02
    Whether you prefer to work remote or hybrid
  • 00:35:05
    or if you need part-time hours,
  • 00:35:06
    I think those opportunities should be available to people.
  • 00:35:09
    Let people live the life they want, come on.
  • 00:35:11
    Anyway, ultimately paid family leave is not a magic bullet
  • 00:35:15
    that's going to immediately turn the world
  • 00:35:17
    into a feminist utopia,
  • 00:35:18
    but it's certainly a step in the right direction.
  • 00:35:20
    Literally anything would be better
  • 00:35:21
    than what the US currently has.
  • 00:35:23
    So, I feel for all of you who are also parents,
  • 00:35:26
    especially in this country, because it's hard.
  • 00:35:29
    I feel for anyone who was forced back to work
  • 00:35:31
    before they were ready, before their kids were ready.
  • 00:35:33
    I feel for anyone who has lost their job
  • 00:35:36
    or lost opportunities because of this,
  • 00:35:37
    because of these impossible choices,
  • 00:35:39
    I feel for anyone who hasn't been able to have kids
  • 00:35:42
    and they want to because it's just not possible,
  • 00:35:45
    and also shouts out to the child-free folks.
  • 00:35:47
    Love you guys as well, of course.
  • 00:35:49
    Thank you so much for watching today's video,
  • 00:35:51
    I hope it made sense.
  • 00:35:52
    And once again, thank you so, so much to Nuuly.
  • 00:35:54
    If you are interested in checking them out,
  • 00:35:56
    please use the link, let them know I sent you.
  • 00:35:58
    I love you Nuuly, please work with me again (chuckles)
  • 00:36:00
    All right, stay tuned for future "Internet Analysis" videos.
  • 00:36:03
    Okay, thanks, bye.
Tags
  • motherhood
  • parental leave
  • U.S. policies
  • paid leave
  • childcare
  • motherhood penalty
  • gender equality
  • paternity leave
  • emotional challenges
  • work-life balance