00:00:00
you look at other people you see the
00:00:02
good qualities in them when you look at
00:00:04
other people you can admire them and you
00:00:06
feel mesmerized by them but when you
00:00:08
look at yourself you don't have those
00:00:09
feelings why is that
00:00:12
why is it that you can give out all
00:00:14
those emotions to everyone except for
00:00:17
yourself
00:00:18
why is it that you can make someone else
00:00:20
feel secure about themselves but you
00:00:22
can't when it comes to you listen I am
00:00:24
here right now to fix this and literally
00:00:27
after this video you will be a step
00:00:29
closer to becoming more confident hi
00:00:31
guys my name is Liz and welcome back to
00:00:33
my channel okay let's get right into it
00:00:36
first things first in order for you to
00:00:38
become more confident you have to get to
00:00:40
know yourself you have to study yourself
00:00:43
and your behaviors and your emotions to
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a point that when someone comes up to
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you and tells you oh this is the way you
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are you can be like yes I am that way
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and I know why I am that way and I'm
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working on fixing that
00:00:55
because no one can tell you who you are
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when you know who you are when I started
00:01:01
healing my traumas and I started this
00:01:03
whole healing journey I became a lot
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more confident in myself because before
00:01:08
I used to think like oh I'm just crazy
00:01:10
like I'm a crazy person and then when I
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started healing my traumas then I
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realized oh wait a minute you're not
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crazy you're hurt and this happened and
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this is why you're acting that way and
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then I could heal that and then I could
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also not listen to when people said to
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me oh Liz you're just crazy see for me
00:01:28
as well it's very obvious when I see
00:01:30
someone that doesn't know who they are
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and they're trying to fit anywhere and
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trying to adapt to that person and
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whatever they're doing they're very
00:01:37
easily manipulated you can very easily
00:01:39
manipulate people like that and you can
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spot them like this and when people want
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to take advantage of you they will see
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that in you so how do you study yourself
00:01:47
you Journal okay now go to internet like
00:01:51
go even to my Instagram account it's the
00:01:53
wizard list I have Shadow work questions
00:01:55
there you click on them you go to
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Pinterest you look up Shadow work
00:02:00
question journaling questions questions
00:02:01
about myself you look all these
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questions up and then you answer them
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for yourself that way you will get to
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know yourself little by little more and
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more being that helped for me personally
00:02:12
was therapy I went into therapy I talked
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to my therapist and she validated me in
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a lot of ways I've been gaslighted my
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whole life and thought that I was
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overreacting nothing was wrong with me I
00:02:23
was just crazy until I started talking
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to my therapist and then she told me no
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you are this way because this happened
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that this is how we can fix it and she
00:02:32
literally made me feel sane if you don't
00:02:34
know where to begin to find a therapist
00:02:36
then you're lucky because this video is
00:02:38
sponsored by Better Health regardless of
00:02:40
the sponsorship I genuinely think better
00:02:43
health is a good platform because it
00:02:45
combines over 30 000 therapists on one
00:02:47
online platform and they also give you
00:02:50
the opportunity that if you get matched
00:02:51
to the therapist and you don't like the
00:02:53
therapist then you can just switch with
00:02:55
no additional charge this does not
00:02:57
happen in real life and believe me I
00:03:00
have gone through a lot of shitty in
00:03:02
real life therapists that I used to get
00:03:04
from my school imagine your area has
00:03:06
limited options you don't know where to
00:03:08
look maybe you don't even want to leave
00:03:09
your house better help literally allows
00:03:12
you to just look out of the comfort for
00:03:14
your own home to get matched with a
00:03:16
therapist that is the right fit for you
00:03:18
so how you do this is you start off by
00:03:20
filling out a questionnaire so better
00:03:22
help can understand your specific needs
00:03:24
and wants and you get matched with your
00:03:25
therapist in as little as a few days
00:03:27
then you can start scheduling phone
00:03:30
video or message based sessions they
00:03:32
also provide you your own online Journal
00:03:34
which I think is amazing and you can
00:03:36
attend group sessions I'm really not
00:03:39
saying this just because of the
00:03:40
sponsorship I'm genuinely saying if
00:03:43
you're trying to look for a therapist
00:03:44
and you don't know where to begin look
00:03:47
at Better Health and better help will
00:03:49
also give you 10 off your first month at
00:03:52
Better Health if you visit the link down
00:03:54
in the description below or
00:03:56
betterhelp.com
00:03:58
wizard list seeing how to get to know
00:04:00
yourself is you literally have to ask
00:04:03
yourself why am I feeling this way why
00:04:05
do I have these issues why do I have
00:04:07
these addictions see I am so tired of
00:04:09
people just saying oh it's just mental
00:04:11
health whatever it's just that way this
00:04:13
is not normal this behavior is not
00:04:16
normal like even if I think about myself
00:04:18
right when I had my Ed where I would
00:04:21
binge and then you know uh the food if I
00:04:24
look back at myself now even in my head
00:04:27
imagining myself doing that my behavior
00:04:30
was not normal but people will tell you
00:04:33
oh no it's just a mental health issue
00:04:35
whatever no no I was severely
00:04:38
traumatized and I didn't know how to get
00:04:40
my trauma out other than doing that had
00:04:43
I known that this could be linked to
00:04:45
trauma what I was doing and not just
00:04:47
because I had an ed I would have gone
00:04:50
into therapy much faster I think is read
00:04:53
books about subjects that you want to
00:04:55
know more about about yourself right so
00:04:58
for example me I had uh obviously the
00:05:00
PTSD and Trauma so I read uh the book
00:05:04
the body keeps the score guys this book
00:05:07
was like what but these things were are
00:05:11
actually like scientifically proven that
00:05:13
can happen there is is research done on
00:05:16
this it's like my brain is wired
00:05:19
differently than non-abuse children I
00:05:22
was like wait a minute like literally a
00:05:24
whole door opened for me so educate
00:05:27
yourself on yourself you're the best
00:05:31
subject you will ever study you're the
00:05:34
best investment you will ever make see
00:05:36
people cannot take away your knowledge
00:05:38
they can take away anything from you
00:05:41
they can make you feel this small they
00:05:43
can make you feel stupid but what they
00:05:45
cannot take away from you is what you
00:05:47
know in your intelligence so work on
00:05:49
that dedicated to something see
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confident people always have something
00:05:53
that they're dedicated to whether it's a
00:05:56
goal whether it's a hobby whatever it is
00:05:58
you know
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if you don't have any dedication or any
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stability in life all your other uh
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things in life will also not be stable
00:06:08
or you will also not be dedicated to
00:06:10
other things in your life like for
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example you don't have a dedication in
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your regular routine you'll probably
00:06:15
also not have the dedication in your
00:06:17
relationships and friendships because
00:06:19
you don't even care about your own life
00:06:21
why would you care to create a life with
00:06:24
someone else obviously people like that
00:06:25
will not be confident because what is
00:06:27
there to be confident about why should
00:06:30
you be confident literally if you're
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constantly not doing anything you don't
00:06:33
have any goals you don't have anything
00:06:35
that you want to do or even Hobbies you
00:06:37
you'd like to engage in how should you
00:06:39
be confident if you even go out with a
00:06:42
group of friends what will you talk
00:06:43
about you have nothing to talk about
00:06:45
that's why you need to find dedication
00:06:48
in something so you can be dedicated to
00:06:50
yourself so you can be dedicated to your
00:06:52
family to your loved ones but be
00:06:55
dedicated to something in your life and
00:06:57
to yourself first surround yourself with
00:06:59
people that you look up to I read this
00:07:01
quote recently and it was about
00:07:03
um if you want your ego stroked then you
00:07:07
should hang out to people that look up
00:07:09
to you but if you actually want to learn
00:07:11
something in life and evolve then you
00:07:14
should hang out with people that you
00:07:15
look up to there's one thing and I need
00:07:17
you to understand this your friend group
00:07:20
is you
00:07:21
if all your friends around you are
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insecure
00:07:25
you're gonna also be part of them and
00:07:27
you're not going to be able to get out
00:07:29
of that insecurity first thing you're
00:07:31
sharing your energy with these people
00:07:33
and you guys are exchanging energies
00:07:34
constantly by hanging out with each
00:07:36
other so their insecurities come to you
00:07:39
they take your insecurities and it's
00:07:42
just a cycle like this but who breaks
00:07:44
this cycle you know who breaks the cycle
00:07:46
the person that actually starts to have
00:07:49
friends that are confident and it may
00:07:51
not feel good to you because you may be
00:07:53
like oh my God no I feel so insecure
00:07:55
around confident people but that is
00:07:57
actually when you have to get
00:07:58
uncomfortable because you have to look
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up to them and see and see and look at
00:08:02
them and think what can I learn from
00:08:04
this person why does this person love
00:08:07
themselves so much it's not about looks
00:08:11
I'm gonna tell you because I have seen
00:08:13
people drop that gorgeous Moses you're
00:08:17
actually in fact I will say this the
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most beautiful people I know are the
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most insecure
00:08:22
most insecure
00:08:24
and then I have people that are not that
00:08:26
socially beautiful but them the way they
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walk talk and act
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hottest people on earth I I like I'm
00:08:36
literally I'm I find them more
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attractive than my physically beautiful
00:08:40
friends because you know why as well
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there are rubs off on you their
00:08:45
confidence rubs off on you so when they
00:08:48
walk in somewhere and they feel good
00:08:49
about something you automatically start
00:08:51
to feel good about yourself too go hang
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out with people that you can learn from
00:08:55
I'm not saying ditch all of your
00:08:57
insecure friends but start having other
00:08:59
friends that you can look up to that you
00:09:01
see like oh you know what yeah I want to
00:09:03
learn from them I want to see why they
00:09:05
feel that way and how I can feel that
00:09:07
way another thing is start thinking more
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with your heart instead of your ego this
00:09:14
way you will stop taking things so
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personal for example when I get his
00:09:18
comments or negative comments I say oh
00:09:20
okay nice they're speaking from their
00:09:22
perspective it's okay these people can
00:09:24
have their opinion me not before maybe I
00:09:27
would get offended but now I think like
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yeah but they're seeing it from their
00:09:30
perspective how can I be offended at
00:09:31
that when you start thinking more with
00:09:34
your heart and you start to see people
00:09:36
as damaged Souls as damaged adults that
00:09:41
need to heal their inner child then you
00:09:43
actually start to be very compassionate
00:09:45
and you become like a lot a lot less
00:09:48
like taking things personally you don't
00:09:50
really do that anymore see everything in
00:09:52
life that happens
00:09:54
is your perception of it you're watching
00:09:57
this video right now with your
00:09:59
perception of me I can say the same
00:10:02
sentence now it will be perceived
00:10:04
differently by 10 people that watch this
00:10:06
if they are listening with their
00:10:09
perspective what their parents taught
00:10:11
them what their culture taught them
00:10:13
that's how they are listening and my
00:10:15
responsibility is to know that it's not
00:10:18
my job to fix them it's not my job to
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heal them uh it's just my job to share
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my truth and whoever is willing to
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listen will and whoever is willing to
00:10:29
doubt me they will what does it matter
00:10:31
at the end of the day another thing is
00:10:33
stop trying to be someone else the issue
00:10:36
is when you try to be someone else you
00:10:38
will always be the Lesser version of
00:10:40
them they are already someone
00:10:44
and you're trying to be them but why are
00:10:47
you not unique why do you think that
00:10:49
you're not special why do you think that
00:10:51
you have to be like them I mean you can
00:10:53
get inspiration from people but to
00:10:56
blatantly copy them and like want to
00:10:59
completely look like them try to behave
00:11:02
like them talk like and walk like them
00:11:04
this goes back to the first thing where
00:11:06
I said you have to know who you are
00:11:07
because otherwise you will behave like
00:11:09
this you will try to be someone else
00:11:11
when you try to be someone else it will
00:11:13
maybe you will succeed at really trying
00:11:16
to trying your best to look like them
00:11:17
but at the end of the day it will make
00:11:19
you more insecure because at the end of
00:11:22
the day what you're telling yourself is
00:11:23
you are not good enough and that's why
00:11:26
we have to try to be like them because
00:11:28
they are good enough and you're not so
00:11:30
it's really sad if you're doing that to
00:11:33
yourself kill the part in you that feels
00:11:35
embarrassed
00:11:36
don't feel embarrassed kill the part in
00:11:39
you that feels embarrassed why are you
00:11:41
embarrassed of what of who to do what I
00:11:46
literally stopped that whole thing of
00:11:48
like feeling embarrassed or whatever or
00:11:50
like even like oh I know I can't post
00:11:53
that because that's embarrassing
00:11:54
embarrassing to who who am I embarrassed
00:11:56
stuff people no why should I be
00:11:59
embarrassed with you guys the end of the
00:12:01
day I am much more stronger than anyone
00:12:04
else because I can stand in front of the
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camera in front of millions of people
00:12:08
and talk about my vulnerabilities now I
00:12:11
want the people that are judging me to
00:12:12
do the same talk about your abuse talk
00:12:15
about your traumas go stand in front of
00:12:17
millions of people and let's see how
00:12:18
people react and how you will deal with
00:12:20
the Judgment you have to be incredibly
00:12:23
strong to stand in my position I refuse
00:12:25
to feel embarrassed I will not be
00:12:27
embarrassed not of people not of anyone
00:12:30
I'm not embarrassed I'm happy to be who
00:12:32
I am and I think that everything I'm
00:12:34
doing is a great thing another thing is
00:12:36
speak up for yourself this is something
00:12:37
that I have learned to do more and more
00:12:39
and I think I'm quite good at it when I
00:12:42
don't like something or I didn't like
00:12:44
the food or I just didn't like something
00:12:46
and people ask me did you like it I will
00:12:48
say no I did not like it I'm not really
00:12:51
about it I'm just being honest I did not
00:12:53
like it and then you said oh okay is
00:12:55
there something else we can do next time
00:12:56
I have a bad service for my nails or
00:12:59
hair or whatever and they asked did you
00:13:00
like it I said no I didn't like it and
00:13:03
then they say okay how can we help you
00:13:04
then like how can we fix this then I say
00:13:06
okay let's do this this and we can
00:13:08
resolve it like this I used to be the
00:13:10
person I was such a people pleaser that
00:13:12
even if they cut my hair imagine I say I
00:13:14
want to trim right they cut it till here
00:13:16
I will go cry in the mirror and say oh
00:13:19
it's nice and then I'll go home crying
00:13:21
more you know like it and from but for
00:13:24
me now it's like no I'm paying for a
00:13:27
service I want a nice service I'm not
00:13:29
really a difficult client but if I
00:13:31
really don't like something or it was
00:13:33
not what I asked or even the food was
00:13:35
really not nice I will say it it was not
00:13:38
nice I would still pay for it and it was
00:13:40
not good but that's it so start speaking
00:13:44
up for yourself this even shows like
00:13:46
imagine your um your inner child right
00:13:49
when you grew up you could never speak
00:13:50
up for yourself and now you're the adult
00:13:53
that speaks up for yourself imagine how
00:13:55
proud that would make your inner child
00:13:57
imagine your life that it's okay to say
00:13:59
no like no I don't want to do it no I
00:14:02
don't want to come no
00:14:03
no I I can't make it no I don't want to
00:14:06
do it that with you no I don't want to
00:14:07
go there I also had like a lot of people
00:14:09
ask me like oh can you promote this blah
00:14:12
blah I said no I can't
00:14:14
I I don't do that
00:14:16
you will realize people really don't get
00:14:19
offended by you saying no they just move
00:14:21
on with their life and they forget about
00:14:22
it so don't think it's a big deal it's
00:14:24
okay to know to whatever you feel like
00:14:26
you don't want to do don't be afraid to
00:14:28
take up too much space see there's not
00:14:31
such thing as you are taking up too much
00:14:33
space or you are too much
00:14:36
you're not too much everyone around you
00:14:38
is just not good enough and they're not
00:14:41
matching your Vibe see for example with
00:14:43
me when I used to go out and stuff I
00:14:45
would always like not wear makeup or not
00:14:47
try to wear makeup because I didn't want
00:14:49
to look like I was trying too hard but
00:14:53
why would I not try like why would I not
00:14:56
do that why do I not want to look cute
00:14:58
or look good you know because I was just
00:15:01
afraid of the attention and all these
00:15:03
things but why not
00:15:05
I would also look at myself it's if I
00:15:08
saw myself walking in a room I would
00:15:09
look at myself I would think whoa she's
00:15:11
so gorgeous stop like dimming your own
00:15:13
lights to make others feel better
00:15:15
because at the end of the day they it's
00:15:17
not that they will feel better it's just
00:15:19
that they see you as less okay it's not
00:15:22
that you're doing them a favor they just
00:15:24
don't care about you another thing is
00:15:26
admit when you're wrong and be willing
00:15:29
to learn see these days people are just
00:15:31
like oh no I'm so right like I know
00:15:34
everything we don't know anything
00:15:36
like we literally as humans we don't
00:15:38
know anything I was watching this
00:15:40
interview I don't remember from who it
00:15:42
was
00:15:42
um but this guy basically said that if
00:15:45
we would use our body the same way we
00:15:48
use our brain we would only be able to
00:15:51
lift a finger because we don't use our
00:15:54
brain at all literally we humans don't
00:15:56
access the capacity of their brains and
00:15:59
if they would they would be extremely
00:16:00
powerful stop thinking that you know
00:16:02
everything and that that you don't have
00:16:05
to learn anything anymore and all these
00:16:07
things no like the one of the most
00:16:09
confident people they're always willing
00:16:11
to learn and highly intelligent people
00:16:13
as well and they also say Hey listen I
00:16:16
don't know enough about this subject I
00:16:19
don't know what I'm talking about I I
00:16:20
cannot answer this like admit when when
00:16:23
you don't know how I do this for example
00:16:25
is if I don't know enough about a
00:16:27
subject I say yeah I don't know anything
00:16:28
about that and when the person is
00:16:30
telling me I tell them can you teach me
00:16:31
because I want to learn and that's also
00:16:33
how I'm become more confident because I
00:16:36
have more knowledge knowledge about the
00:16:38
world about myself about people around
00:16:40
me they wired your mind with positive
00:16:43
affirmations I know I've said it 100
00:16:45
times but this is because it actually
00:16:47
works I listen to positive affirmations
00:16:49
myself till this day I listen to my own
00:16:52
uh meditation affirmation video that I
00:16:54
uploaded the one about beauty and
00:16:56
confidence I listen to it myself and
00:16:58
every time I listen to it I feel so much
00:17:00
more confident and I literally find
00:17:02
myself more attractive you believe in
00:17:05
your mind is the most powerful thing
00:17:07
that's the only thing that will manifest
00:17:10
and our mind is wired negatively first
00:17:12
so the person that your mind will do is
00:17:14
it will go to the negative side and
00:17:16
think negatively so to put on some
00:17:19
meditation or some affirmations on your
00:17:21
phone and listen to to it positively
00:17:24
it's not a bad thing it's not something
00:17:26
crazy it's good for you it will help you
00:17:28
it will rewire your mind imagine you say
00:17:31
an affirmation every single day I am
00:17:33
powerful you say that just every day
00:17:34
even if you don't believe it I am
00:17:35
powerful I'm past awful and Powerful you
00:17:38
look at yourself in the mirror you say
00:17:39
I'm powerful I'm powerful what will
00:17:41
happen you will start to be powerful
00:17:43
feel powerful and attract powerful
00:17:45
people trust your ability to bounce back
00:17:48
from anything I said this in my previous
00:17:50
video about an interview that I watched
00:17:52
from Lisa Nichols where she said true
00:17:54
confidence comes from your ability to
00:17:57
bounce back from anything so basically
00:18:00
she was like when I do something I think
00:18:02
about you know what even if this thing
00:18:04
fails I can bounce back from it I can do
00:18:07
it again I know I can do it again and
00:18:10
that is actually true confidence if you
00:18:12
see when you do something it doesn't
00:18:13
have to be perfect if you're waiting for
00:18:15
it to be perfect you will never even
00:18:16
start because perfect does not exist and
00:18:19
you will not be happy but if you think
00:18:21
to yourself you know what I'm going to
00:18:22
try this thing and maybe maybe this
00:18:24
thing will not work out but at least I
00:18:26
tried it and when it fails I will try
00:18:29
something else
00:18:31
that is when you have to reach true
00:18:33
confidence in yourself and in your
00:18:35
ability this thing is be authentic and
00:18:37
humble
00:18:38
every confident truly confident person I
00:18:41
know is themselves authentically they
00:18:43
they just are the way they are they they
00:18:46
just don't try to like oh I can't say
00:18:48
that because otherwise I will not fit in
00:18:50
no they just say what they want and
00:18:52
they're obviously not rude but
00:18:55
everything they say is their opinion and
00:18:58
what they feel like and that's it
00:19:00
they're authentically themselves and
00:19:02
they don't try to be someone else also
00:19:04
they're humble
00:19:06
I have not this is actually being
00:19:08
insecure for sure if you think that
00:19:11
you're better than anyone you're you're
00:19:13
100 insecure humble person doesn't need
00:19:16
to be surrounded by only celebrities all
00:19:19
only big names isn't that no a humble
00:19:22
person can sit with someone on the
00:19:23
street sit with them and have a lovely
00:19:25
conversation and can sit with big names
00:19:27
and have the same conversation they
00:19:28
don't care because they don't have to
00:19:30
prove themselves to anyone see there's
00:19:32
confidence in them but when you have
00:19:34
people that are not humble and like use
00:19:37
like oh I'm famous I'm this and that
00:19:39
what's Fame at the end of the day what
00:19:41
is this it means nothing
00:19:44
tomorrow if people stop watching you
00:19:46
yeah that's it you're not famous anymore
00:19:50
for example honestly I love my fans but
00:19:53
whether I have them or I don't have them
00:19:55
tomorrow my life does not change my
00:19:58
confidence does not Shake because I
00:20:00
don't take my value from being an online
00:20:03
personality that's not who I am that's
00:20:05
not who I am at all actually if you base
00:20:07
your worth on the validation of other
00:20:10
people and on oh yeah so many people
00:20:13
like me I have so many likes this and
00:20:15
that you will crumble and you will
00:20:16
crumble fast because when those people
00:20:18
leave
00:20:19
what do you have at the end of the day
00:20:22
that's why you need to be strong in
00:20:23
yourself with or without I love myself
00:20:27
and that is all that matters another
00:20:29
thing is exercise join a sport do
00:20:33
whatever
00:20:34
listen first of all you will not only
00:20:37
physically look better you will release
00:20:40
dopamine in your head which is the
00:20:43
reward chemical of your brain I
00:20:45
literally had a personal trainer and
00:20:48
when I was training with him oh my God
00:20:50
like I felt like a thousand bucks like
00:20:52
literally my coughness shut up like
00:20:55
crazy every time I completed a workout
00:20:57
you know why as well because maybe at
00:21:00
the time when I was there I didn't want
00:21:02
to be there I didn't want to work out
00:21:03
but the fact that I completed it I felt
00:21:07
so proud of myself and then I started to
00:21:09
think like oh this what more can you do
00:21:11
that obviously will make you more
00:21:14
confident about yourself also if you
00:21:16
don't want to exercise join a sport that
00:21:18
you like doesn't matter what it is do it
00:21:19
once a week or whatever do life
00:21:22
exercises like uh Pilates strength
00:21:25
training all these things go for walks
00:21:27
there's so many things you can do to get
00:21:30
your body moving and last but not least
00:21:32
I need you to understand that God the
00:21:36
universe life whatever you believe in
00:21:39
wants you to win
00:21:42
God wants you to win why would God put
00:21:46
us on Earth
00:21:48
give us this life to just make us suffer
00:21:52
that is not love okay and I believe God
00:21:56
is love
00:21:57
so I believe whatever I do God has my
00:22:00
back and he wants me to win he's like
00:22:02
come on let's come on he wants me to do
00:22:05
good
00:22:06
and he wants you to do good as well and
00:22:08
make you feel more confident the fact
00:22:10
that you're protected the fact that life
00:22:12
God wants you to win they want to see
00:22:15
you do good they're rooting for you if
00:22:17
you feel like you have no support God is
00:22:19
rooting for you he's rooting for you I
00:22:22
believe we were put on Earth to suffer I
00:22:24
don't believe that I really don't
00:22:26
I believe that we were here to learn
00:22:28
lessons and to evolve but I believe that
00:22:30
we have support we have protection but
00:22:33
you have to ask God for things you have
00:22:35
to ask him hey can you help me with this
00:22:36
whatever you know and you have to
00:22:39
believe that it will come this is the
00:22:40
big issue as well right we only go to
00:22:43
God or we only ask him things when
00:22:44
things are going wrong but do you ever
00:22:47
talk to him when things are going right
00:22:48
and you're just happy repeat this
00:22:52
affirmation in your head life wants me
00:22:55
to win God wants me to win repeat that
00:22:59
in your head
00:23:00
and I promise you you will not fail hey
00:23:03
guys thank you so much for watching this
00:23:04
video I hope you guys learned something
00:23:06
and I see you in the next video bye
