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have you guys ever noticed that
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sometimes when you want something so
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badly it usually doesn't end up coming
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true or maybe the exact opposite happens
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for example let's say you're on a date
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right and you really really like this
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person and you want the date to go well
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but somehow you get really nervous and
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you're not really yourself anymore and
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you start acting weird and The Vibes and
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the chemistry is off and then afterwards
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you just never hear from them ever again
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or let's say you really want this job
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and you go for the interview and then
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you put so much pressure on yourself to
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perform well that you end up doing the
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exact opposite and then you don't get
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called back for the next round
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interestingly I've also noticed that the
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flip side of this is true I've had so
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many instances in my life where when I
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just didn't give a about the
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outcome that was when things started to
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work in my favor for example for my
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whole life I've always been so obsessed
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with my acne and also my body just not
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looking the way that I want it to last
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year I reached a point where I was just
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like it I don't want to care
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anymore I don't want to think about it
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and clearly stressing about it has not
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helped me in any way so I just stopped
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thinking about it and I just continued
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doing my skin care and staying
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consistent with healthy eating healing
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my gut and all of that and I kept
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showing up to the gym three four times a
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week and not even a year after that I
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went from this to this and then this to
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this it was really weird I felt like I
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just woke up one day a completely
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different person and I've come to learn
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that this phenomenon or whatever you
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want to call it is actually related to
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something called The Law of Detachment
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I've been really interested in this
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topic lately because Detachment is one
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of the hardest things to master but once
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you do no joke it's like the ultimate
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unlock to improving pretty much every
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aspect of your life from your
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relationships to your Career Success to
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your Fitness and literally everything
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else in between it took me such a long
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time for me to get my head around it
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because there's a bunch of
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misconceptions out there about what
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Detachment actually is and how to
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successfully go about it but once I did
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it brought me a lot of great results in
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so many different areas of my life which
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I'll touch more on later on in this
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video time stamps below as always
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because I value your time so what
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exactly is the Law of Detachment I used
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to think that Detachment was the same as
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being apathetic or being emotionally
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indifferent like having a Blas attitude
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towards life where you're just like yeah
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whatever I don't care what happens to me
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or my career or my relationship but now
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I've learned that actual Detachment is
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actually releasing our desire for
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specific outcomes it's not needing for
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things to turn out or certain way but at
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the same time you're still working
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towards and having a stake in that
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relationship or that career or that life
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outcome it's a balancing act of caring
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enough to work hard towards that goal
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while still not caring too much and
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being overly invested to the point where
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it leads to self-sabotaging behavior
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when we care a little too much it puts a
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lot of pressure on us to achieve that
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outcome and often this causes us to
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overthink and also make irrational
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decisions which then ironically stops us
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from achieving the result that we want
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Detachment is being able to accept
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whatever happens good or bad for what it
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is and trusting that you'll be okay no
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matter the outcome basically you won't
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be completely ruined and devastated if
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things don't turn out the way you wanted
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to Detachment sounds like well you know
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this relationship didn't really work out
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and I mean we tried our best but maybe
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it was just never meant to be and it was
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always just meant to come to an end and
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I'll be okay or it could sound like my
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YouTube video tanked this week but you
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know what I can just try again next week
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and I'll be okay now you might be
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thinking why is this important I've
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really come to realize that being able
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to detach is probably one of the
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greatest life skills that you can have
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which is why it's something that I
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really want to work on this year holding
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on to an idea just because you've become
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attached to it creates a lot of anxiety
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it makes us obsessed over needing things
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to be a certain way and if it doesn't
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turn out that way then it causes us a
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lot of pain attachment is really all
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about trying to gain a sense of control
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over the situation but the thing is
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control is an illusion because most
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things are out of our control the moment
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we release the need for control you know
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to control our partners to behave
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exactly the way we want them to and for
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our YouTube channel to perform the way
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we predicted and for our fitness journey
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to go exactly according to plan with
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zero hiccups then that's when we can set
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ourselves free from this pain and that
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opens up more space for love in our
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relationships and creativity in our
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YouTube and also real progress in our
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fitness Journey so how do we actually
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detach Detachment can be applied to
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pretty much every scenario and area of
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life I can only really speak from my own
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experience so that's what I'm going to
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use as examples Detachment in
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relationships so in one of my past
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relationships I was really just attached
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to the idea of this future that we were
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going to have because our trajectories
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were so aligned and it all seemed so
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perfect in theory anyway and that ideal
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future image really clouded my judgment
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of the reality of what the relationship
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was actually like in the present the
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reality was I just felt really anxious
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all of the time and I didn't feel very
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supported or cared for and overall I
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just felt unhappy but I ignored all of
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that and I stayed a lot longer than I
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should have because I was so attached to
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the idea of this perfect future I kept
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thinking to myself like man this really
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needs to work out because otherwise the
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plan is going to fall apart looking back
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if I was just able to detach from this
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dream life that I had envisioned for the
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both of us then I would have realized a
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lot sooner that I didn't need this
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person in order to materialize that
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dream life that I was more than capable
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of working towards it on my own and once
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I realized that it gave me the strength
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to finally walk away from something that
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wasn't right for me the next example is
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about Detachment with my fitness journey
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and looks so I've been on Plenty of
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weight loss Journeys and they were
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either just not effective or not
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sustainable meaning that I would lose
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all of the weight but then gain it all
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back within 6 months and through
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understanding the law of Detachment I
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Now understand why I was always fixated
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on the way that I looked in the current
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moment and how far off that was from the
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way that I wanted to look the outcome
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which was the body that I really wanted
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was what I got attached to I would do
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excessive amounts of cardio and undereat
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because by hooka by cook I wanted to
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look a certain way within 3 months which
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in the fitness world is an insanely
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short period of time 3 months is like
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nothing and the reason why this didn't
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work is because I would obsessively look
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in the mirror every day and if I didn't
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see progress at the rate at which I
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wanted to see it then it would
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discourage me a lot I'd get super
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frustrated and just give up that day and
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then I'd start eating like crap because
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what's the point none of this is working
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anyway I'd get lazy with exercising and
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fall off track and that was exactly why
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I kept setting myself back and then one
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day I was just like you know what what
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if I just didn't set myself an end date
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didn't have any expectation of where
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this is going to go and how long it's
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going to take me and just focus on
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enjoying the journey without putting any
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sort of pressure on myself and in
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January of 2023 that was when I hired a
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PT and went to the gym a few times a
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week I drastically cleaned up my diet
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and I just kept going I just honestly
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didn't think or feel anything about it I
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just did it for 9 months I didn't take
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any progress photos and I never weighed
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myself once and I just stopped analyzing
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my body in front of the mirror all I
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focused on was just on getting stronger
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and getting better at performing certain
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lifts and trying out new healthy recipes
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which was honestly really fun and to me
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I love my me time in the kitchen where
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I'm just like you know listening to
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music or a podcast and trying out
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something new and I just made sure that
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I was feeling good and was having fun
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throughout the journey and then one day
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9 months later I went to a friend's
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place for a swim and then when I came
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out in my bikini she just kind of like
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looked at me and said dude you're like
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fit now and I was like what and then we
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took some pictures by the pool and mind
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you these were the First Progress photos
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if you will that I took since starting
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my fitness journey and when I looked at
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the photos I was like brh when did this
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happen because I was just this like not
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too long ago I posted some of the
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pictures on Instagram and then got a
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whole flood of messages from friends
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basically saying the same thing and guys
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I've never been called fit in my life
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ever I was never like the athletic
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person or fit person in school so
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honestly that day was just so surreal
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for me and that really proved to me that
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once I stopped caring about the outcome
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and sto being so overly attached to this
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dream body that I wanted that was when I
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actually achieved it Detachment with
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YouTube starting YouTube I really had
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zero expectations from the beginning and
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I told myself that you know if it takes
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me a year to get to my first,
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subscribers then fine when I first
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started I was doing this just for me as
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a passion project to feel like I had
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some sort of meaning and purpose in my
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life because I was so burnt out from
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work at the time just to give a bit more
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context I recently left my job that I
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was bonded to for the past 3 years and
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basically what that means is that if I
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were to terminate the contract early so
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before the 3 years is up then I would
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need to pay a pretty hefty fine of half
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a Year's worth of salary when I started
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YouTube I was 2 years in and I was burnt
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out like crazy I really disliked my job
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and I felt so stuck because I mean I
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couldn't leave I stopped enjoying things
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that I normally do and I just felt so
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uninspired and I felt like I wasn't
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really learning anything new anymore I
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became a zombie going through the
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motions YouTube was really something
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that I wanted to do for myself to give
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myself a purpose again and feel like I
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was alive and because I never put
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pressure on myself I was really happy
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making videos I loved being creative and
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feeling like I was on this steep
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learning curve where I felt like I was
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making progress in some area of my life
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and funnily enough I think that was what
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accelerated my growth and I reached
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1,000 subscribers in like a month or
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something crazy like that and then 2
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months after that was when I reached 10K
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but then when I got to that point that
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was when I started to obsess over video
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performance and view count this is also
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around the time when I started taking on
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sponsorships and there was even more
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added pressure for my videos to do well
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I noticed that was when I plateaued at
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10K for several months and that was when
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my average view count dropped
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dramatically but to be honest the
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saddest part for me was that I just
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wasn't super proud of the content that I
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was making anymore I really didn't feel
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good about making videos videos anymore
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and I didn't feel connected to the
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content I was making and I just felt
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like I was churning out stuff for the
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sake of it I really had to remind myself
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again why I was doing YouTube in the
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first place because if I wasn't feeling
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good doing it then what was the point in
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all of this so then I decided to stop
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taking on sponsorships and to really
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heal my relationship with YouTube and to
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make content that I feel super proud of
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in a way that makes me feel really happy
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and fulfilled and then funnily enough
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once I adopted that mentality that was
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when one of my other videos just popped
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off randomly to me there was a really
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clear correlation between my attitude
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towards content creation and the quality
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of the content that I was making thank
00:11:09
you guys for watching and I just wanted
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to let you know that I won't be posting
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for the next couple of weeks or so
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because I'll be flying off to Sweden
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very soon and I'll probably need some
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time to settle down over there and also
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to you know set up a nice studio
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recording space and if you're new here
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basically I quit my job recently and I'm
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going to be heading over to Sweden for a
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few months to go visit my sister there
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and then after Sweden I've got some
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really really exciting plans that I
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cannot wait to share with you guys but
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I'll probably do a big reveal in a
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future video so stay tuned for that but
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guys I cannot tell you how sad I am to
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leave this apartment because I love this
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YouTube setup that I currently have at
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the moment and it's so sad because I
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can't bring any of this over but anyways
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I think having a little break will be
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really good because it'll give me more
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time to sort of plan out awesome content
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for you guys and I do have a lot lot of
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topics in the back burner that I'm
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really excited to start working on and
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also if there's a specific topic that
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you guys want me to make a video on in
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future then please do leave those
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suggestions in the comments below I
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always read my comments and I love
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interacting with you guys okay guys take
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care and see you in the next video
