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I still remember how it started it was
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four years ago I just finished a normal
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day of school and went to me up with one
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of my best friends as I approached him
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outside the school gates I noticed a
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book in his hands and me being the
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curious kid that I was asked him what he
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was reading the front cover looked ugly
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it was an obnoxious read with a font
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that didn't look quite right but what
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fascinated me was the title how to win
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friends and influence people it took me
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a whole year of procrastinating before I
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finally decided to do it I ordered Dale
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Carnegie's book from Amazon and I
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started reading and just like that I was
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hooked
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self development consumed me I signed up
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to the local gym I started paying
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attention to what I was eating
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I started scheduling my days out I
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started taking my passion for acting at
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the time more seriously I read book
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after book after book I followed all the
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Guru's I was told to follow meditating
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taking cold showers reading affirmations
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to myself visualizing my goals I read
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more I exercised more I hustled more I
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felt more confident and motivated than I
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had ever felt before
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this is it I told myself this is what my
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life had been missing everything was
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perfect
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[Music]
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at least that's what I wanted people to
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think the world of self-development had
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changed many things for me but there
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were some glaring issues issues that I
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had to come face-to-face with and let
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this video be a warning to those of you
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that are looking to improve your life or
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situation wherever you're at I've been
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wanting to make this video since
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starting this channel and I've finally
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plucked up the courage to do it so get
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ready to sit back relax and join me as
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we dive into the toxic world of
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self-development
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Hey
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are you looking to improve your life do
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you want to change your current
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situation have you had enough of having
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enough do you want more happiness money
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do you want to be liked do you want
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people to notice you more okay hi do you
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want to prove them wrong the people that
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you know don't believe you can achieve
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something great this is where it begins
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at least for me is started here the
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reason I procrastinated on buying Dale
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Carnegie's book was because I never felt
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the need to that was until my first year
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of college for whatever reason I
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struggled to fit in and find my place in
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that first year although technically I
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had friends that was this underlying
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sense of loneliness like I just wasn't
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myself I was constantly worried about
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what other people were thinking of me
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and I had this unhealthy desire to be
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liked by everyone then I got to a point
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where I said enough was enough I didn't
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like feeling the way I did so I decided
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to make a change and that is what
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brought me to the world of self-help
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this context is important to note
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because one of the biggest reasons for
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someone wanting to improve themselves is
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because they have a sense of
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dissatisfaction with where they're
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currently app and there's nothing wrong
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with our sentiment wanting to change
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your current situation because you're
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unhappy with it is a very powerful thing
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to do the problem here lies in your
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vulnerability if you're in a dark place
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and you're looking to get out of it you
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can be susceptible to certain problems
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self development has a nice lure to it
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doesn't it a world of people trying to
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be better versions of themselves a world
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where you take control over your life
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and decisions a world that makes you
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feel like you're making progress like
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you're maturing and doing what nobody
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else's this is it you tell yourself
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whilst everyone else is partying and
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indulging in short-term pleasures I'm
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gonna be working on myself if it was
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great doesn't it you feel better about
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yourself
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own
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it feels like you've climbed right out
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of that dark place you were just in
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you've taken the bait you've trusted a
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new voice in your head and that is when
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you become blind to the traps that lie
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in wait self-help makes you feel good
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there's no doubt about it
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there's this amazing feeling of
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satisfaction that I felt after finishing
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the final page of every self-help book
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that I read I had a rise in motivation I
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felt like I just completed the level of
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some video game and my character had
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just leveled up you see after every
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self-help book that you read off that
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every self-help video that you watch
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there is a surge of dopamine that rises
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straight into your brain that feeling of
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accomplishing something after reading
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each book made me feel incredible and
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after finishing that self-help book I
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would go straight onto Amazon and order
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a bunch of new ones that psycho would
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repeat itself many times over buy a new
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book feel a strong sense of motivation
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after reading it and then buy another
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book and on and on and on it went if you
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still don't see the problem with what's
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going on here let's take a look at the
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addictive side of dopamine
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the reason anything becomes addictive is
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not because of the thing itself the
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reason someone becomes addicted to a
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drug is not the drugs it's what the drug
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does to your brain that rush of dopamine
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is what gets you hooked and make no
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mistake it is easy to get hooked to
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self-help whether orchestrated or not
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the self-help world can pull you
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very massive illusion the illusion of
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progress after reading that book you
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feel accomplished after attending that
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seminar
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you feel accomplished after watching
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that self-help video you feel
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accomplished you feel like you've
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achieved something great and have done
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something really productive that
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motivation lingers in your system urging
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you to buy the next book attend the next
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seminar watch the next video it's only
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when you take a second to pause and
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reflect when you realize nothing has
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changed one of my favorite authors MJ
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DeMarco has a concept in his book called
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action faking which is doing things that
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make you feel like you've accomplished
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something even though no actual progress
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has been made it's that weird urge you
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get to clean your room when an important
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assignment is due it's creating a
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schedule and then calling it a day's
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work once you're finished it's reading
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about business but never actually
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starting one its buying the business
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cards instead of actually picking up the
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phone and making a sale action faking is
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an even more lethal form of
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procrastination because you're tricking
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yourself into thinking that you're
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actually making progress so let this be
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your first warning you don't need to
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read every self-help book out there or
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attend every seminar or buy every online
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course or listen to every business
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podcast there's a time when you're doing
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too much consuming and the action that
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needs to be taken is postponed this is
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the first trap that so many people get
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themselves into and it has dramatic
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consequences at the end of it an empty
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wallet a whole bunch of temporary
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motivation and a gut-wrenching
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realization in the back of your mind
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that knows you haven't achieved anything
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yet
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you haven't made any progress you only
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got better at convincing yourself that
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you did
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but behind this self-help addiction is
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something more sinister because on the
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back of your constant purchases and your
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constant chasing of motivation someone
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is profiting someone is winning question
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is who
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[Music]
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here's something you might not know the
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self-help industry is estimated to be
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worth thirteen point six billion dollars
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by 2022 with five point six percent
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average yearly gains to put it lightly
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people are making Bank off of
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self-development the selling of books
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seminars online programs podcasts blogs
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coaching live speaking events are some
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of the main mediums used so why does
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this matter
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I remember being obsessed with certain
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gurus when I started getting into this I
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happily would take out my wallet and
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spend money on their books their
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products and continue consuming their
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content with a smile on my face and that
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all-too-familiar feeling of artificial
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motivation the thing is I never
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questioned their motives
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I saw the self-development world as a
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secret community that I was a part of a
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community of other individuals looking
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to better themselves sure these gurus
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were making money but they were
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providing so much value in return they
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were trying to make my life better right
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pause this type of naive thinking
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becomes problematic when you're dealing
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with an industry that is worth billions
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you are more profitable to the self-help
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industry unhappy and discontent than you
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are happy and fulfilled remember when we
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talked about how you have to come from a
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place of being dissatisfied with
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yourself in order to want to improve
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your life well the business of self-help
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knows that in fact they rely on that
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feeling of inadequacy to pull you in oh
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and they're very aware of how addicting
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self-help can be a combination of you
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feeling inadequate and you getting a
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small high every time you consume
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self-help content turns you into an avid
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consumer of their products and make no
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mistake many of these gurus will
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continue to make product after which
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their own self-help addicted core fan
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base they are urging them to produce
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more and more products and then you fall
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into the trap of looking for the next
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big thing a trap that further adds to
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your consuming instincts you think to
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yourself that you just need one more
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thing before you find the secret before
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everything changes then
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big secrets losing weight the next best
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business model to land yourself in the
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world of financial freedom the new
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hidden secret to unlocking your
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charismatic self the one meditation
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trick that will unlock your third eye
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and so on and so on and so on and as you
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continue consuming thinking to yourself
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this time things are gonna be different
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your wallet continues to dry up and you
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never truly find yourself progressing or
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improving yourself no all you've done is
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made yourself a consumer of the
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self-help industry so here's your next
00:10:05
warning the self-help industry is a huge
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business and it is relying on you not
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being content for you to continue
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consuming the goods and services that it
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produces be careful question your
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favorite gurus question the real value
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of the books and the courses and the
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seminars that you attend ask yourself do
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I really need to be told to write down
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my goal seven different times in seven
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different books from seven different
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gurus ask yourself have I consumed more
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from this industry than I have actually
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put into action
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I felt amazing after that first year of
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discovering self-help the amount of
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confidence that I had myself skyrocketed
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I was happier than I had ever been I
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wasn't looking back anymore
00:11:04
the old lonely wanting to be liked by
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everyone else a version of me that was
00:11:07
gone the unhappy me that wasn't there
00:11:09
anymore I wish someone knew I felt like
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someone knew I didn't ever want to go
00:11:14
back to feeling like I did before I'm
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going to be successful is what I told
00:11:17
everybody and at that time success for
00:11:20
me was becoming one of the world's best
00:11:22
actors but of course this is never how
00:11:25
reality plays out it sounds really silly
00:11:27
but at the time I truly felt like I was
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going to be happy forever or at least in
00:11:31
this constant state of motivation self
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development is its own bubble you're
00:11:35
surrounded with positive messages
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everyone's telling everyone you're all
00:11:39
gonna be successful oil gurus are making
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posts about being happy and blocking out
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those negative thoughts but just like
00:11:45
any bubble there's always a burst and my
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burst came when I started losing my
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passion for acting
00:11:52
[Music]
00:12:00
in that moment it seemed like my whole
00:12:02
world was turning upside down since I
00:12:05
was a kid I told everyone that this was
00:12:07
my dream this was my passion that I was
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never gonna quit being an actor because
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that's what self-help taught me to do
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never quit I had made myself out to be
00:12:16
this person who was destined to be
00:12:18
successful someone who had all ish
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together and now as my passion began to
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falter I was left with his deep sense of
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dread and doubt and I never said a word
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to anyone not for a long time I tried to
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convince myself that I wasn't losing my
00:12:31
passion that I had everything in check
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as I always had that nothing had changed
00:12:34
why you might ask
00:12:36
because in this bubble of
00:12:38
self-development surrounded by positive
00:12:40
messages I was made to believe that
00:12:42
negative thoughts about quitting were
00:12:43
wrong and even worse I felt like if I
00:12:45
accepted those feelings of unhappiness
00:12:47
with what I was doing I would go back to
00:12:49
being the old version of me the version
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of me before self-help it took me a
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whole year of inner self talk and obey
00:12:55
until I finally realized I had to come
00:12:58
to terms with quitting and I had to
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accept the truth that the world of
00:13:01
self-development was trying to hide from
00:13:02
me there will always be struggle and
00:13:05
that's okay it's okay to not be okay
00:13:07
amidst this sea of people spouting the
00:13:10
same positive optimistic good vibes
00:13:12
messages I realized that the actual
00:13:15
meaningful things are created through
00:13:17
struggle
00:13:18
[Music]
00:13:29
rich people don't sleep eight hours a
00:13:32
day that's a third of your life if you
00:13:35
want it if you want this it's work work
00:13:39
like hell I mean you just have to put in
00:13:41
you know 80 hour and you don't hurt our
00:13:44
weeks every week cuz that got to hustle
00:13:47
muscle and he's like what I said I got
00:13:49
to hustle muscle work hard work working
00:13:52
hard hard work work harder and work hard
00:13:55
hard work hard work
00:13:57
[Music]
00:14:00
in this new world of Instagram
00:14:02
entrepreneurs fake gurus and humble
00:14:04
bragging a whole new culture has been
00:14:06
formed and it runs deep in much of the
00:14:09
self-help world the term hustle has
00:14:11
become a buzzword and even I'm guilty of
00:14:13
using it this idea of grinding working
00:14:16
harder than everyone else being
00:14:17
productive every second of the day is a
00:14:19
principle that has become well tore in
00:14:21
the self-help community now let me be
00:14:23
clear I'm not saying that working hard
00:14:25
is a bad thing if you're trying to be
00:14:27
successful with anything in a relatively
00:14:29
crowded market you are going to have to
00:14:31
work hard at the right thing
00:14:32
the problem with hustle culture is that
00:14:34
it's about working hard for the sake of
00:14:36
working hard it's become this
00:14:38
romanticized concept it's about sounding
00:14:40
like you're busy and working towards
00:14:42
success even though you're not achieving
00:14:44
anything it feels good to pretend that
00:14:46
you're hustling but I can guarantee you
00:14:48
that the people who are bragging about
00:14:49
working hard and hustling online are
00:14:51
actually doing a whole lot of
00:14:53
procrastination and action faking and
00:14:55
then there are those that are actually
00:14:56
working every single hour of the day
00:14:58
trying to make something work for
00:15:00
themselves because that's what hustle
00:15:01
culture taught them is the right thing
00:15:03
to do but that is also problematic
00:15:05
working hard is one piece of the puzzle
00:15:07
working hard at the right thing is the
00:15:10
final piece of that puzzle
00:15:12
[Music]
00:15:17
there are two immediate problems with
00:15:20
working hard 24/7 I have found the first
00:15:22
is being at risk of burnout a state of
00:15:25
emotional physical and mental exhaustion
00:15:27
caused by excessive prolonged stress the
00:15:30
second is working hard at the wrong
00:15:32
thing you could have a fitness blog and
00:15:34
be working on that 24/7 updating it with
00:15:36
new posts and new posts but the chances
00:15:39
of you actually getting somewhere are
00:15:40
very slim there are thousands of fitness
00:15:42
blogs out there it would be really
00:15:43
difficult for you to find your own
00:15:45
unique selling point that blog isn't
00:15:47
solving any real problems and if you had
00:15:49
just taken the time out of your hustling
00:15:51
to reflect on your strategy you would
00:15:53
have noticed that sooner but instead you
00:15:55
continue to work hard thinking that that
00:15:56
is all you need to be successful once
00:15:58
more the darker sides of the self-help
00:16:00
industry revolve around casting a shadow
00:16:02
over your eyes making you feel as though
00:16:05
you've accomplished something when you
00:16:06
actually haven't keeping you hooked to
00:16:08
the next product and the next product or
00:16:10
in the case of hustling keeping you
00:16:11
attached to the idea that advice like
00:16:13
working hard encompasses everything it
00:16:16
takes to be successful it doesn't it's a
00:16:18
facade and the darker sides of the
00:16:20
self-help industry rely on you believing
00:16:22
in the illusion to stay profitable
00:16:25
I realized that this video has probably
00:16:44
left some of you feeling a little
00:16:45
confused about what you should do and
00:16:47
what advice you should listen to
00:16:49
I obviously don't have all the answers
00:16:51
but I can say that the things have
00:16:53
genuinely helped me out in my life so
00:16:55
far are going to the gym and eating
00:16:58
healthier going to bed earlier and
00:17:00
waking up earlier writing my goals down
00:17:02
for the week the month or the year but
00:17:03
with an understanding that these things
00:17:05
may or may not change over time
00:17:06
meditating and reading books that are
00:17:09
actually practical and helped me out
00:17:10
with whatever situation I am facing
00:17:12
hands down two of the greatest books
00:17:14
I've ever read are the power of now by
00:17:16
Eckhart Tolle and unscripted by MJ
00:17:19
DeMarco with both of those books I never
00:17:21
felt like they were trying to get me
00:17:22
hooked to a product or that they were
00:17:24
just trying to give me a sense of
00:17:25
artificial motivation but with all that
00:17:27
being said let this video be a warning
00:17:29
for the traps that might lie in wait if
00:17:31
you do decide to get into the self-help
00:17:33
industry and if you do decide to make
00:17:35
that decision and go through that
00:17:36
journey just make sure not to fall into
00:17:38
the same traps that I did so thank you
00:17:42
for watching but stop do not click off
00:17:44
the video just yet I know you're sick
00:17:46
and tired of YouTube people giving you
00:17:47
the monologue of like the video comment
00:17:49
down below share it with your friends
00:17:51
subscribe and whilst I recommend you do
00:17:53
those things I do want to take the time
00:17:55
to say thank you dearly for watching
00:17:57
till the end of this video I put a huge
00:17:59
amount of effort into creating these
00:18:00
videos and I love doing it
00:18:02
so if you enjoy these sort of
00:18:03
documentary style videos on business
00:18:04
finance and life in general do feel free
00:18:07
to check out my other content I really
00:18:08
think you will it do you feel free to
00:18:10
check out some of my other content I
00:18:12
really think you'll enjoy it it is still
00:18:14
early days for this channel but I've got
00:18:15
a lot of exciting stuff planned so do
00:18:17
stay tuned for that and if you've got
00:18:19
any advice suggestions or anything in
00:18:21
between feel free to comment below I
00:18:23
tried to respond to it all and with all
00:18:25
that being said I really hope you have a
00:18:27
wonderful rest of the day altogether now
00:18:29
hands ahead salut
00:18:34
[Music]
00:18:44
you
00:18:45
[Music]
