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you want to talk some more about black
00:00:01
cat energy do you while you're in luck
00:00:04
because I am here today to talk to you
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about black cat energy what is black cat
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energy what is black cat energy
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Margarita what is black cat energy all
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these questions all these questions it's
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okay I got you if you want him to be
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chasing you if you want to be the one in
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demand if you don't want to be the one
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who's trying to orchestrate the
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relationship because let's let's get
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this straight right now let's get this
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straight before we get it twisted if
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it's your project that the relationship
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is then it is you who is in the driver's
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seat then it is you who's always the one
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pushing then it is you who's always
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trying to create the connection then it
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is you who's writing to Margarita asking
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I don't know why he doesn't buy me
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flowers for anniversaries then it is you
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contacting me contacting your friends
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contacting your dog contacting your cat
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asking why he does not care so what
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we're going to do is we're going to
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deploy a little bit of black cat energy
00:00:55
the reason it is called Black Cat energy
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and first I found this kind of rhetoric
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on Tik Tok is there is a black cat in a
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relationship and then that is being
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chased and then there is a golden
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retriever the one who chases and in the
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best case scenario you want to be the
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black cat why the female the feminine is
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better in the black cat role because we
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enjoy being chased we enjoy biologically
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being the ones who
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are one over if woman has to win over a
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man and he's the Black Cat and you are
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the golden retriever both of you are
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going to feel very sad indeed why are
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you going to feel sad why why why
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because he's going to feel like he's not
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winning the prize the masculine is to
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drive forward and to achieve so if he's
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the Black Cat and you're the golden
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retriever always winning him over always
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trying to please him he's going to feel
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intrinsically not in his masculine and
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he is going to not feel fulfilled he
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wants to be the golden retriever let him
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chase you and for every golden retriever
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there is a black cat so you might not be
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the black cat for his golden retriever
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but you will be the black cat for
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somebody Okay the reason I wanted to
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make this video is because you guys
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still have questions about what it is to
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be the black cat and how to be and how
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to do it okay and I want to delve into
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those questions I want to get connected
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about this whole energetic shift and you
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might not call it a black cat you might
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call it being her like the podcast is
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called you might call it being that girl
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that whatever you want to call it
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let's talk about it how to stay the
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black cat if you're married 16 years
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together the black oh the phone fell oh
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my gosh it's getting serious the black
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cat doesn't stop being the black cat
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because the black cat is married the
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black cat loves to be married the black
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cat loves to be married
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because that golden retriever is
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intrinsically there to worship her and
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support her the thing that kills the
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black cat energy the most in a
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relationship is I think what you're
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asking me how do you maintain that kind
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of quintessential feminine chase me look
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after me serve me energy and it is like
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this we often fall into the mothering
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role in a relationship what is mothering
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Margarita very simple you fulfill the
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role of a mother for him did you take
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your tablets sweetie what are you going
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to have for lunch today do you remember
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to flush the toilet after yourself why
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can't you do this you look after him
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essentially like you would a
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child this kills your feminine energy
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dram
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atically I know it's counterintuitive to
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believe and say but mothering energy is
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very forward moving very instructional
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in terms of like looking after your
00:03:39
child and that can be very masculine I
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know that's a counterproductive thing to
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kind of say counterintuitive thing to
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say sorry that mothering is masculine
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I'm not saying mothering is a masculine
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role what I'm saying is energetically
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you have to think a lot in the modern
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world what are we going to do where's
00:03:53
the cookies are they organic are they
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holistic are we going to put them in the
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pack are we going to bring water what
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are we drinking all that stuff is very
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not with the flow and masculine energy
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okay if you start treating your man like
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a Pampered poodle as opposed to the
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golden retriever or the terrier or
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whatever dog you like that's serving you
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that is going to push him into a black
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cat energy because now he's getting
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pampered if you're mothering him you are
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going to pamper him resist restrain
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refrain from looking after him like that
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nurturing and being an amazing wife and
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cooking him a meal is not mothering
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mothering
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for example you don't mother your friend
00:04:32
your friend comes over you do something
00:04:33
really nice for her I really go into it
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in my book if you haven't read it or
00:04:37
haven't listened to it on Audible I
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suggest you do there's a chapter on
00:04:41
mothering your man don't do it you can
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look after your friend in a really nice
00:04:45
way like you can offer her a nice drink
00:04:47
when she comes over you can even cook
00:04:48
her a meal but you don't mother her you
00:04:50
don't say um what time are you getting
00:04:51
up for work have you set your alarm let
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the man live he lived for 35 years
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before he met you he can live for 35
00:04:58
years again without having you you've
00:05:00
been together for 16 years it's your
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role to be always developing and be an
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enigma the way to be a black cat in a
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marriage is to not try and control your
00:05:09
partner black cats don't give a flying F
00:05:11
what you do okay you do you and I will
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sit on my Black Cat pedest stool and
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judge whether you're good enough for me
00:05:17
yes even in a marriage even if you are
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going to be together forever I'm still
00:05:21
going to judge what you do and see if I
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want to be with you make him feel that
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way that you're always seeing you're
00:05:26
always deciding you're always choosing
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him every day you are choosing him okay
00:05:31
next question how to have black hair
00:05:33
energy with dismissive avoidance well
00:05:37
baby you're trying to out black cat a
00:05:39
black cat dismissive avoidant people
00:05:42
have a very black cat aloof energy in
00:05:45
terms of the fact that they are
00:05:48
somewhere from childhood they decided
00:05:50
that the way they're going to deal with
00:05:52
this world and be in this world is by
00:05:55
acting like the other people can't meet
00:05:57
their needs some people are secure let's
00:06:00
say 50% of people are secure that means
00:06:01
they can be attached to other people
00:06:03
that means they like interpersonal
00:06:05
relationships that means they like to
00:06:07
get to rely on other people and other
00:06:09
people rely on them and then there's the
00:06:10
other 50% of us who are either 25% let's
00:06:13
just say for argument sake anxiously
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attached that means love me love me why
00:06:17
don't you love me oh oh you said
00:06:18
something wrong did I do that thing
00:06:20
wrong oh how can I please you how can I
00:06:21
please you Goden retriever that was me
00:06:23
hi everyone that was used to be me and
00:06:25
then there's the avoidance which are
00:06:27
well I so didn't get my needs meant when
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I was a child I so much didn't get that
00:06:32
fulfilled that I'm just going to I've
00:06:34
got my own back I got me so with
00:06:36
avoidant man and many men are avoidant
00:06:39
because they were taught in modern world
00:06:41
that they can't rely on anyone or stiff
00:06:44
up a lip or you're a boy don't cry it's
00:06:47
hard to be a black cat with a man who's
00:06:49
dismissive avoidant is the question
00:06:51
because he is intrinsically dismissing
00:06:53
you and if you are attracted to that
00:06:55
behavior you're most likely anxious why
00:06:58
because if a person is dismissive and
00:07:00
avoidant and you're secure after dating
00:07:03
them a couple of times and them not
00:07:05
replying to you them dismissing you the
00:07:07
word dismiss you reaching out and
00:07:09
they're dismissing you're going to lose
00:07:10
interest a secure person loses interest
00:07:14
from a dismissive person because it's
00:07:17
not interesting to you it's not you it's
00:07:19
me I I I don't I'm not mad I'm just a
00:07:22
little bit bored which is what I
00:07:23
recommend to do if you've got a
00:07:25
dismissive avoidant be bored of that
00:07:27
behavior don't be triggered because they
00:07:28
rely on the fact that you're going to be
00:07:29
triggered by their behavior and chase
00:07:31
them even more they're used to the fact
00:07:33
that they got their own back they don't
00:07:34
chase you so you end up chasing them to
00:07:36
close the gap and they're like God
00:07:38
everyone's just trying to engulf me
00:07:39
everyone's just trying to eat up my time
00:07:41
and space it's like a self-fulfilling
00:07:43
prophecy the anxious person chases and
00:07:45
everyone runs away from them so they're
00:07:47
like God nobody ever wants to stay and
00:07:48
everyone's running away from me whilst
00:07:50
the dismissive is like oh God everyone's
00:07:52
trying to trap me everyone's trying to
00:07:53
engulf me cuz cuz you're not leaning
00:07:55
into the relationship my friend you're
00:07:57
not leaning into the relationship so of
00:07:59
course going to look like everyone's
00:08:00
chasing you they're actually not okay
00:08:02
they're just trying to have a
00:08:03
relationship with you uh I have uh how
00:08:06
to deal with the dismissive avoidant if
00:08:07
you s to choose to have them as your
00:08:09
partner on my YouTube channel type my
00:08:11
name type avoidant and you will find it
00:08:14
if you want to be a black cat with a
00:08:15
dismissive avoidant your only hope is to
00:08:19
remain in the black cat energy a black
00:08:21
cat is very very secure in the female
00:08:24
sense she doesn't try and please him run
00:08:28
after him anything essentially if you
00:08:30
have an avoidant and you're going to be
00:08:31
a black cat about it you might not
00:08:35
sustain the relationship with them
00:08:37
because you're going to be like I don't
00:08:39
need this my black cat likes to be
00:08:40
woried why do I need this avoidant who
00:08:42
I'm chasing
00:08:44
yuck does this actually work with Aussie
00:08:46
men they're so low effort I feel like
00:08:48
they wouldn't care does black cat energy
00:08:51
work with Aussie men black cat energy
00:08:53
works with Aussie American Australian I
00:08:56
just said Australian left right and
00:08:58
Center it works with men because men
00:09:00
like to achieve and black cat doesn't
00:09:03
mean run away it doesn't mean dismissive
00:09:05
it means you do you I'm going to do me I
00:09:08
know how to make myself happy I'm the
00:09:10
one who's choosing you and if you don't
00:09:12
impress me that I'm not impressed like
00:09:16
black a energy is also not controlling
00:09:18
energy and modern man would eat that up
00:09:22
if you screw up is the question how do
00:09:24
you own it without losing your black ha
00:09:26
energy and dealing with anxiety if you
00:09:28
screw up this is how a black cat would
00:09:30
screw up a black cat is secure okay it
00:09:32
means that you're you're really into
00:09:33
your journey and what you want to do if
00:09:35
you screw up be an adult about it I'm
00:09:37
really sorry I was um really dismissive
00:09:40
of you that time I should have listened
00:09:42
to you better and I'm sorry I was late
00:09:43
for that date how can I make it up to
00:09:45
you and then move on don't try and
00:09:47
grovel don't try and you know all these
00:09:50
Maneuvers with with the feeling sorry
00:09:52
for yourself and feeling sorry for him a
00:09:55
black her energy if you've done
00:09:56
something wrong just apologize and be an
00:09:58
adult about it how about me is the
00:10:00
question black cat Queen attracting a
00:10:02
specific man I won't stop until it's
00:10:05
him okay let me see you you do look like
00:10:08
a queen okay yeah yeah yeah you are you
00:10:10
are very beautiful the queendom equates
00:10:13
to Beauty but if you won't stop until
00:10:16
it's him you're very much in the
00:10:18
masculine driving seat which is fine you
00:10:21
know 10% of women are in their masculine
00:10:24
you got to ask if this man is in his
00:10:26
feminine and some men are the creative t
00:10:29
types the kind of types that you know
00:10:30
like to be pursued are you happy being
00:10:34
in the driver's seat are you happy being
00:10:37
the pursuer so maybe if you want to be
00:10:39
the pursuer you are going to be the one
00:10:41
wooing him are you happy with that is
00:10:43
that what you want me I don't want that
00:10:45
in my life I like to be in the feminine
00:10:47
because it makes me feel quite like
00:10:49
jokes aside it makes me feel quite
00:10:51
secure in my life it makes me feel like
00:10:53
I'm in a place I want to be in if you
00:10:55
won't stop until it's him then you're
00:10:57
very much in the driver's seat and
00:10:59
that's okay if you're willing to chase
00:11:01
him and him be the Chase and if he
00:11:03
enjoys that but if not and you want to
00:11:05
be in your feminine then you can only
00:11:07
live your life putting your best foot
00:11:09
forward and living your life as your
00:11:11
best self and if you are his dream goal
00:11:13
he will chase you and if you're not his
00:11:15
dream girl then it's going to be a very
00:11:17
hard
00:11:19
cell how to change being a black cat if
00:11:23
I've been the golden retriever so far in
00:11:25
my relationship help let me see your
00:11:27
face you are stunning black cat
00:11:31
honey you need to sit down with yourself
00:11:33
you need to look at my content like
00:11:36
Rebrand yourself you need to pick a day
00:11:38
and I love to do this kind of thing like
00:11:40
new year or your birthday my birthday is
00:11:42
coming up in September for example
00:11:45
nobody asked me okay thanks Margarita
00:11:46
for that information something that is
00:11:48
going to pivotally change you I find
00:11:50
anchors are really useful like dates or
00:11:54
ideas or numbers whatever is going to
00:11:56
Mark the change for you some people
00:11:58
really do well with as of tomorrow and
00:12:00
that's it no ifs ands or butts but you
00:12:02
need to Rebrand yourself last week's
00:12:05
podcast or YouTube video depends where
00:12:08
you consume the content was about
00:12:10
rebranding you need to actively decide
00:12:12
to Rebrand yourself and not identify
00:12:14
with your past self not by no means do
00:12:17
you come up to the man that you want to
00:12:19
be your golden retriever and say I've
00:12:21
decided to change I'm now black cat
00:12:22
you're going to Chas me that's something
00:12:24
a golden retriever would say it's an
00:12:26
internal process you're going to do it
00:12:28
yourself for yourself and it's an
00:12:30
internal thing that you need to emulate
00:12:32
and do you need to pick a date to start
00:12:34
it from you need to Rebrand yourself you
00:12:36
need to write it in your diary and you
00:12:38
need to act like the new you you need to
00:12:40
have an avatar of the new you that you
00:12:42
are acting like the old you is gone and
00:12:45
now this is the new there's no apologies
00:12:47
there's no announcements never complain
00:12:49
never explain please as I said I need to
00:12:52
reiterate it twice because I don't think
00:12:54
you understood you in the back I don't
00:12:55
think you heard me do not announce it to
00:12:57
people I'm now different
00:13:00
please it's
00:13:02
ridiculous next question how do you
00:13:05
embody being chased rather than being
00:13:07
the Chaser every element in your being
00:13:10
when it's to do with someone else needs
00:13:11
to be with do I like them enough not do
00:13:14
they like me that is it that is the
00:13:16
quintessential difference of being
00:13:18
chased versus being the Chaser how do I
00:13:21
do I like them how much do I like them
00:13:24
what do they represent to me as opposed
00:13:26
to do they like me they like me enough
00:13:29
are they really really into me it
00:13:31
shouldn't be about them it should be
00:13:32
about you next question how do you not
00:13:34
get bothered by other women you know
00:13:36
he's talking to and
00:13:39
liking I think um naturally I'm not
00:13:41
going to lie you will get bothered
00:13:42
inside your soul in the solar plexus you
00:13:44
know like in your innards you'll get
00:13:47
bothered but I want to implore this
00:13:49
thing to you black cats they plan they
00:13:52
think they're smart you know a cat is
00:13:54
smart a golden retriever just says what
00:13:56
they think a cat is smart yeah so if you
00:13:58
were one to embody that energy of being
00:14:00
chased and of that smart person you need
00:14:02
to understand that if there are other
00:14:04
women in his life you're just in the
00:14:05
dating stages I assume this is what the
00:14:07
question is yeah you're in the dating
00:14:09
stages so this isn't like your husband
00:14:10
liking other women in which case is
00:14:12
ridiculous but you're just in the dating
00:14:14
stages you're not official with him he
00:14:16
is talking to other women maybe he's not
00:14:18
the more attention you give those other
00:14:19
women the more you're denoting to him
00:14:21
that those women are important I have
00:14:23
seen the most mediocre women not give
00:14:26
attention to other women that the by
00:14:28
mediocre don't even mean this in a
00:14:30
condescending way I mean if you looked
00:14:32
at them you wouldn't be that kind of
00:14:34
girl you're like oh my God I want to be
00:14:35
her she's just a normal girl she's you
00:14:37
or me yeah she's normal men worship the
00:14:40
ground that they walk on because they
00:14:43
have a confidence of knowing that there
00:14:46
is no one like them so much so that you
00:14:48
start to believe it you're looking at
00:14:49
this girl and you're like oh my God
00:14:50
she's literally everything you don't
00:14:52
know why when you first saw her you
00:14:53
didn't think so we as human beings are
00:14:56
really attracted to self assuredness and
00:14:59
lack of questioning and instability
00:15:03
because everybody in their call wants
00:15:04
that we want to be closer to someone who
00:15:06
embodies that we want to lean into them
00:15:09
we want to drink up that energy so if
00:15:11
you can sell that even if you're not the
00:15:12
prettiest dime in the coin drawer I
00:15:16
don't know even if you're not the ripest
00:15:19
Cherry there is going people will lap it
00:15:21
up if you can sell that energy so if you
00:15:24
go oh you're talking to other girls are
00:15:26
you or what are they like I don't care
00:15:28
yeah I don't care yeah straight away
00:15:30
you're letting him know that they are a
00:15:32
competition to you he might even test
00:15:35
you he might be like oh yeah I was
00:15:36
talking to Rebecca and if you're like oh
00:15:38
my God I love you know what I love I
00:15:41
love forest green I was looking at
00:15:43
Forest Green pain and I really prefer or
00:15:45
like mint like what do you think which
00:15:46
one's better for my office he'd be like
00:15:48
what did what just happened I just told
00:15:50
her about Rebecca and she didn't even
00:15:51
hear me properly and she's talking about
00:15:53
what color to paint her office like
00:15:55
something so benign and then you be like
00:15:56
did you hear me I was saying I was like
00:15:57
talking to Rebecca you know like a
00:15:59
mutual friend and you be like oh yeah
00:16:01
yeah yeah oh cool yeah that's nice yeah
00:16:02
yeah is she is she right so don't ignore
00:16:05
it too much but don't acknowledge it too
00:16:06
much they're not a competition to you
00:16:09
they're nothing to you how you position
00:16:12
yourself imagine this do you think do
00:16:15
you think the queen cares about the
00:16:17
shenanigans going on around her she
00:16:18
doesn't care because she knows what
00:16:20
she's got she knows her Worth to to the
00:16:22
end
00:16:23
degree if you go around asking what he
00:16:26
thinks about them if they're prettier
00:16:27
than you if their hair is fluffier than
00:16:29
yours or straighter than yours you've
00:16:31
lost because you said I care about them
00:16:33
they're a competition to me next when
00:16:36
does leaving space turn into silent
00:16:38
treatment over
00:16:39
text leaving space is when you can
00:16:42
energetically in a good way leave space
00:16:46
as in he's not really asked anything
00:16:48
he's not really contributed in any kind
00:16:50
of strong way to the conversation and
00:16:53
you're with your friends or you're
00:16:55
shopping and you're carrying bags and
00:16:57
right now is just not the best time to
00:16:58
text him but it's all good and you're in
00:17:00
good energy that is leaving space silent
00:17:03
treatment is he didn't contact me and
00:17:05
now I'm not going to contact him if you
00:17:08
feel that way then you're doing the
00:17:09
silent treatment if you're in a feeling
00:17:12
of just like giving it space because you
00:17:15
can't be rushing to reply to everyone
00:17:16
all the time the black cat is busy then
00:17:18
that is a good thing however he if he's
00:17:21
hurt your feelings the black cat also
00:17:22
understands she's not at the beck and
00:17:24
call of people who've hurt her feelings
00:17:26
so if he's not replyed to you for 5 days
00:17:28
and now he's expecting a
00:17:29
reply you're not replying to him because
00:17:32
you're now not in the mood a black cat
00:17:33
is very much I feel I do I don't feel
00:17:36
like texting you I don't feel like
00:17:37
texting people who don't text me go away
00:17:41
how to know when to implement gentleness
00:17:43
compassion and bitchiness gentleness
00:17:46
compassion and bitchiness is going to
00:17:48
definitely be the next title of my book
00:17:50
gentleness compassion and bitchiness I
00:17:52
love that that is all very black cat
00:17:54
energy gentleness because you're gentle
00:17:56
on yourself you're gentle on others
00:17:57
people make mistakes you're fine with
00:17:59
that you make mistakes you're
00:18:00
compassionate you understand people like
00:18:02
I love that about you love that love
00:18:04
this and you're a little bit of a
00:18:06
I don't want to see you now because
00:18:07
you've hurt me okay cool implement it
00:18:09
all the time how to be your feminine
00:18:12
when you're super independent and live
00:18:14
alone man I really delve into this in my
00:18:17
course become her if you're on it hi if
00:18:19
you're not on it maybe I'll run it again
00:18:21
I don't know but sign up on my website
00:18:23
to for the weight list cuz I only run it
00:18:25
maybe once a year or twice it's when you
00:18:28
have to look after yourself you have to
00:18:29
split yourself into two identities the
00:18:31
masculine the driving looking after and
00:18:33
The Feminine and you have to really feed
00:18:34
the feminine it's like the Wolves you
00:18:36
feed the two wolves you feed are the
00:18:38
ones that are going to grow you have to
00:18:39
feed your feminine in different ways um
00:18:42
by cultivating uh things you love to do
00:18:44
by cultivating your desires by
00:18:46
cultivating your likes by cultivating
00:18:48
your sensuality all in the course and in
00:18:50
my book and feminine energy principles
00:18:52
all on the website go delve into it it's
00:18:53
really really interesting oh and I have
00:18:54
a substack all this stuff that you could
00:18:56
delve into if you care enough to do so
00:18:59
and get on this journey of feminine
00:19:00
energy but essentially as a man you only
00:19:03
need one briefcase of tools the
00:19:05
masculine to thrive in life because why
00:19:08
the masculine tools of success
00:19:10
Independence Drive achievement is going
00:19:12
to both win you a career and it's going
00:19:16
to both win you a woman because women
00:19:18
lap that up as a woman we need two
00:19:21
briefcases in the modern world the
00:19:23
masculine that ises look after myself
00:19:25
I'm independent if I need to be I've got
00:19:26
my back I've got my job I've got my
00:19:28
money sorted and briefcase number two
00:19:30
feminine flow wisdom black cat meow that
00:19:36
one is going to win you the
00:19:38
relationships and The Feminine energy
00:19:40
success in life you can't have one or
00:19:43
the other because it won't work we have
00:19:45
to have more Tools in life than men do
00:19:47
how do apply black cat energy on social
00:19:49
media and they follow us black cat
00:19:51
energy on social media means you're not
00:19:53
posting energetically anything to try
00:19:54
and attract his attention that is
00:19:56
basically what I'm going to say you're
00:19:58
using how you like you're doing what you
00:20:00
want you don't give a flying fluff about
00:20:02
what he wants a tiny rat's ass about
00:20:05
what he wants and you just doing what
00:20:07
you want because you're a black cat I
00:20:09
have a crush who doesn't like me but
00:20:10
whenever he wants to have sex I can't
00:20:12
avoid it what should I do what do you
00:20:14
mean you can't avoid it do we need to
00:20:16
call the police what do you mean you
00:20:17
can't avoid it whenever he wants to
00:20:20
whenever he wants to he doesn't like you
00:20:22
whenever he wants to you kind avoid it
00:20:25
not you can't avoid it is you haven't
00:20:28
haven't got value I'm sorry to say baby
00:20:30
but you don't have self value if you
00:20:32
can't avoid it what does he come to your
00:20:34
house stand at your door and demand it
00:20:36
and I don't understand so a man doesn't
00:20:38
want you and you know it yet you're
00:20:40
willing to do that because you know one
00:20:41
day a man's going to come along who does
00:20:43
value you but you're going to be tied up
00:20:46
in this situation doing these things for
00:20:49
a man who doesn't value you it's a
00:20:52
self-worth question not an avoidant of
00:20:55
him question what do I do if two guys
00:20:57
are talking to me and putting in effort
00:20:58
at the same time you get a book you
00:21:01
write down the qualities of each one you
00:21:03
like and the first one that asks you to
00:21:05
be their girlfriend you assess the list
00:21:08
and you say yes or no no one's asked you
00:21:10
to do anything no one's asked you to be
00:21:12
their partner they're just dating you
00:21:14
they're wooing you you hopefully aren't
00:21:15
sleeping with them so you don't owe them
00:21:17
anything not that you'd owe them
00:21:17
anything for sleeping with them but
00:21:20
you're your own person you're doing what
00:21:21
you want to
00:21:22
do has anyone asked you to marry them
00:21:26
like no one's asked you anything so
00:21:29
let them try let them keep
00:21:31
trying and you
00:21:33
decide I'll see you in the next one bye
00:21:36
there is no time in your life that
00:21:37
you're more depleted than after having a
00:21:39
baby like literally you give everything
00:21:42
to that baby when you have one during
00:21:45
pregnancy and especially postpartum well
00:21:47
actually during pregnancy and postpartum
00:21:49
I've done it twice the first time I did
00:21:51
not know the importance of supporting
00:21:53
myself and the second time I definitely
00:21:55
do and I have seen the difference I've
00:21:58
been able to build a business um with my
00:22:00
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00:22:02
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[Music]
