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hello elixers and welcome back to a
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special sunday motivational video which
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you're gonna love because you'll get to
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test run the information immediately
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in both your personal and professional
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life as we're taking a look at the rules
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of negotiation
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welcome to alex.com the place where
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future billionaires come to get inspired
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if you're not subscribed yet you're
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missing out
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every interaction you have is more or
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less a negotiation for a desired outcome
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from asking your crush out on a date to
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signing a multi-million dollar client
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it all boils down to your skill set
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fundamentally you can negotiate anything
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if you know the following three steps
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one exactly what you want two how little
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you're willing to accept
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and three what you'll do if the deal
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doesn't work out
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everything else we'll be discussing is
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just here to support these three things
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and give you the biggest edge you can
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get
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with that said here are the 15 most
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valuable negotiation skills and tactics
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number one figure out what you really
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want or you're going to lose
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you would not believe just how many
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people get into negotiable situations
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without having a clear understanding of
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what they really want
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and having a way to put it into clear
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words here's a very common situation
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oh you want to earn more per month sure
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here's 20
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more work for you to do and will
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increase your pay 20
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we've just given you what you asked for
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but that wasn't what you wanted was it
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you see there's another important rule
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in life that goes like this
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you don't get what you want in life you
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get what you're willing to negotiate
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and for you to negotiate effectively you
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need to have a clear understanding of
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what you want
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specifically and what you're willing to
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exchange
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in order to get it number two
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negotiate everything we
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personally negotiate everything and
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you'll find out that most rich people do
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the same
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there's never a circumstance where the
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rich won't try to get a better deal
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because historically they've always been
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offered one when they've asked for it
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another big rule is if you don't ask you
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don't get
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starting today everywhere you go ask for
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a better deal
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without doing anything you're likely to
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get a five to ten percent discount
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just because you asked for it which
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otherwise you would have spent out of
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pocket
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we negotiate cars jewelry business deals
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terms even in everyday shops we get big
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discounts in both luxury stores and
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commercial ones like
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zara just because we're willing to pay
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cash as a pro
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tip always ask the person who's able to
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make this kind of decision
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what can you do to get me a better deal
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or if you're talking to a clerk
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have them reach out to the person who's
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able to make those kinds of calls
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and get back to you number three
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the one who prepares more wins
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by this point we expect you to have made
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an effort and figure out what
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you want from an upcoming negotiation so
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it's time to go a step further
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ask yourself the following questions who
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are you going to negotiate with
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is this the person who's able to make
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the kind of decision you're looking for
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another pro tip the boss will always be
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more flexible than middle management
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what is this person like what are their
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values what do they look for in a
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partner
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what is most important to them what do
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they expect to get out of this
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negotiation
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what is negotiable and what isn't what
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is there for them to lose
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if this doesn't work out and how can you
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come up with a creative way to get both
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of you what you want
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now there's an old war strategy that
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comes into play in everyday life all the
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time
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the tale goes like this when two
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generals go to war
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both of them are trying to simulate what
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the other general will do on the
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battlefield
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the one who's closer to the truth wins
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this is why preparation is so important
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here's something important every one of
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you should know if you realize you're
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not adequately prepared to negotiate
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it's okay to reschedule and walk away
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the worst thing you can do is to go to
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war without being properly prepared
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you'll just end up getting slaughtered
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number four mirroring works until it
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gets creepy
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we know you guys are interested in
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secret techniques and tactics so this
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one's actually pretty efficient
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all negotiation is is listening to the
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other side and building enough trust so
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you can move forward in the relationship
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be it personal or professional this
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technique focuses on starting your
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sentences the same way the other person
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finishes theirs in order to build a
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rapport
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make sure to use the keywords that they
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used in their speech
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this is commonly known as mirroring and
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people have been using it in both
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verbal and non-verbal communication
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begin
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your sentence with the last three words
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they used and then add what you're going
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to add afterward
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all mirroring does is signal to the
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other person that you two are very much
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alike
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and will get along great it's not rocket
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science that people are more likely to
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engage with those they find
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similar in nature here's a pro tip we
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really want you to know
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do not overuse specific techniques
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people pick up when you're doing
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something on purpose
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and it's a major red flag just because
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you once read in a book you should look
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a person in the eye when talking to them
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it's more than okay actually you must
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avert your gaze away in the span of a
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20-minute conversation if you don't want
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to come across
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as a weirdo our advice is for you to
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practice these techniques
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until they become involuntary and
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natural
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number five tactical empathy is your
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most
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valuable tool tactical empathy is one of
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those things that have changed the way
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negotiations are being done in the
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modern world
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it all boils down to making your partner
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feel safe
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in control and build the feeling of good
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faith between you two
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effective negotiation rests on building
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at least the perception of mutual gains
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there are specific strategies and skills
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you can deploy in order to get the best
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outcome you can get here's a list of the
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most important ones
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1. demonstrate that you're negotiating
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in good faith
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you're not looking to screw them over 2.
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be genuinely interested in what drives
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the other side
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if you know what they're willing to
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achieve you can tailor your offering to
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their liking
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three don't suppress emotion use them to
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keep the ball rolling
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four deactivate negative feelings and
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magnify the positive ones
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this slowly builds trust and will get
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you to where you need to go
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5. look for tells people will signal
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what they really want
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even if they don't verbalize it we've
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learned a lot about negotiation through
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practice
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but these types of specific skills you
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can only find with professionals who've
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been doing this their entire lives
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the ultimate book on this topic is
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called never split the difference
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and it's written by a former fbi hostage
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negotiator
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in our opinion it is hands down the one
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you should get if you're looking to
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improve
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even better if you go to alux.com
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freebook right now and sign up
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you can get the audiobook version of
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never split the difference for free
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thanks to our partnership with audible
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we'll also leave a link to it in the
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description
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number six smart people search for smart
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trade-offs
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always look for smart trade-offs no
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matter what you do in life
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here's what we mean when we say a smart
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trade-off there are some cases where
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very little effort on your behalf could
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make the entire difference for someone
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else
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on a personal level calling your parents
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or your grandparents
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illustrates it perfectly it'll require
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10 minutes of your time
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and it'll make their day low effort
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leads to big
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outcomes you can find these
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opportunities in business as well if you
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know where to look
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one phone call or recommendation of
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someone you've worked with in the past
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can solve a really expensive problem for
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the person you're interested in doing
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business with
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and this will carry a lot of weight in
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your relationship
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number seven make at least two offers at
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the same time and have them
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pick between them this is an interesting
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approach that helps you figure out what
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is the best way to approach the
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situation
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in order to get what you want out of it
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structure the deal in two different ways
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and have the other person pick one
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this will signal to you what they value
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more and what is the right way to win
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them over
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once they pick you'll have control over
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the situation
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despite allowing them to be the ones
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calling the shots
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a very important thing to note is if you
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have the power in a negotiation
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do not talk about it keep your mouth
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shut and play the game until the end
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number eight when negotiating with
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people you care about
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reputation trumps an ultimate win this
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takes a level of maturity to pull off
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sometimes winning is too expensive this
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happens in marriages
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all the time would you rather not talk
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to your wife for a week
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just to prove you were right probably
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not you're stupidly winning the round
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but losing the game
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when it comes to the reputation play
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let's say you're dealing with someone
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you care about
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you're doing business with a friend or
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relative although you might have all the
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cards and
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could easily dry them out your
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reputation becomes more valuable than
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the extent of the win
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you're probably going to win anyway you
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might as well win respectably
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this builds good will in your life and
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goodwill is important
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people will recommend you because of it
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and the long-term returns are greater
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than the short-term win
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number nine never let emotions block you
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from getting what
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you need sometimes you won't like the
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person you're negotiating with
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on a personal level but you find
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yourself at the end of the table because
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you need
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something people are all different we
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all grow up in different places
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have different upbringings different
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levels of education and ethics
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knowing how to navigate the sea of
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personalities is one of the most
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valuable skills you can have in your
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arsenal
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there's a fine line between tolerating
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and deciding to walk away
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we've learned this line tends to move
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depending on how badly you need the
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result to go your way
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ideally emotions wouldn't be viable in
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negotiation
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facts would trump everything numbers
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would do the talking and
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deals would close without a word spoken
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but that's not how it is
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emotions not logic usually determine the
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outcome of a negotiation
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so you need to master yours and then
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learn to read
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and change your approach according to
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what the other side is feeling
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number 10 get to that's right
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as quickly as possible that's right is a
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magical phrase in negotiation
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it means that both parties are in
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agreement and that's how successful
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negotiations are conducted
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the more one side agrees with the other
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the more in line their objectives are
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the more likely the deal is to close too
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many people get into negotiations
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not thinking about the other side or
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what their goals are
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decisions come from a part of the brain
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that's usually
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left unguarded that's the same spot
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agreement is as well
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that's why you know deep down if you're
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going to say yes or no to a proposal
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it's from within
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the more you can get someone to agree
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with you the more that pattern of
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behavior will show itself in the
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negotiation
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in goal mastery we show you step by step
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how to get a pay raise or negotiate with
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other people on how to always get what
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you want
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believe it or not we give you the exact
00:11:28
words and what to say
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and we can't wait for you to try it out
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and put it to good use next year
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for those interested we are currently in
00:11:36
post-production and we're estimating the
00:11:38
launch to be in the first quarter of
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2021
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if you're not on the waiting list go to
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alux.com
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goals and be sure to leave your email
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there to be notified as soon as it goes
00:11:48
live
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number 11. the u-cut ipic method
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this is one of our all-time favorite
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ways to settle disputes
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it works from high-end business deals to
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children in your own household
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to explain it simply it goes like this
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let's say you have two children who are
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fighting over a piece of cake
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they're both fighting over it and don't
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know how to share it so the other one
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doesn't get more cake than they do
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the u-cut eye pick rule has one of the
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kids cut the cake in half
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and the other gets to pick which side
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they want
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this way both parties have control over
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the outcome
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ideally the first kid will slice the
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cake perfectly in the middle because if
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they try to do anything shady
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then they'll lose more of their piece
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when the other person gets to pick
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so use it wisely
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number 12 negotiation is a mix between
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sales and therapy some people
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never listen some people never ask in
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order to be successful negotiator you
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need to understand
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both and know when to use each there's a
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time for selling and there's a time for
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listening
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and it just so happens that the more you
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listen
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the more you understand when it's the
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right time to sell
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why do people go to therapy they already
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know what's happening inside their minds
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they're just trying to make sense of it
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that's what happens in a negotiation
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you enter a negotiation trying to figure
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out how to make it work and get what you
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want
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that's what both parties want you've met
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to solve a problem and the solution can
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benefit both parties
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anything else and it isn't a negotiation
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it's a hostile takeover
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same as in therapy asking why do you
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want something is often times more
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valuable
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than asking what do you want
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understanding the reasoning behind their
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decision
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will lead to creative solutions where
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other things get put on the table that
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you didn't even consider
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when it comes to selling we have a great
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video titled how to sell anything that's
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five minutes long and you can check it
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out by clicking in the top right corner
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number 13 never share your reserve point
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the reserve point is the lowest option
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you'd still consider taking
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all of your strength lies in keeping the
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negotiation as
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far away from your reserve point as
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possible
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never let people know the minimum you're
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willing to take the more you think about
00:14:10
negotiation
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the more you understand that it's simply
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a game between
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two parties that try to guess each
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other's reserve point
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if you can guess the other party's
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reserve point
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you win number 14
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never give anything without getting
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something in return
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the worst thing you can do in a
00:14:29
negotiation is give away anything for
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free
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unless you're feeling charitable this is
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also true in life
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too many employees pick up additional
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work without asking for anything in
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return
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that's how you end up working so damn
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much and paid so
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little there's an old saying you scratch
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my back i'll scratch yours that one
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should always remember when going out of
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their way to make something happen for
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someone else
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this is probably the only place where
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the rule of equivalent exchange
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mentioned in full metal alchemist
00:14:59
applies to real life
00:15:01
in order to get something you have to
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give something in return
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number 15 always have a backup plan
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the worst thing you can do entering in a
00:15:12
negotiation is
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not having a backup plan if you don't
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have a backup all you're doing is
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bluffing
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it takes away a very powerful tool your
00:15:21
option of walking away
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the backup plan even has a specific
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terminology in negotiation
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it's called batna batna stands for
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best alternative to a negotiated
00:15:32
agreement this is the type of info they
00:15:34
used to teach us at business school by
00:15:36
the way we never use the terminology
00:15:38
since
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but there is some truth to it how good
00:15:41
is your alternative
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what kind of differentiator are we
00:15:44
talking about quality
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price time to deliver you need to
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consider
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all of these think of it like this if
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you go and ask for a raise knowing you
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have another job lined up at a different
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company if your boss says
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no how does your approach differ would
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you feel in control
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and powerful enough to stand your ground
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sure you would
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batna is all about acquiring as much
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control on your side as possible
00:16:10
which brings us to today's question
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what's the one thing you wish to
00:16:14
negotiate in the near future
00:16:16
we are always excited to hear from the
00:16:18
community and we are always blown away
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by the support ua luxers show to one
00:16:22
another in the comments
00:16:24
as for those of you watching until the
00:16:25
end here's one of our mantras that
00:16:27
served us well throughout our lives
00:16:30
your bonus reality is negotiable
00:16:34
those of you who've been aluxers for a
00:16:36
long time might remember this because
00:16:38
it's
00:16:38
something we 100 believe in there are
00:16:42
some things
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outside of your control like the place
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you're born in who your parents are
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but your reality isn't one of them your
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reality is
00:16:50
yours you are living and crafting it
00:16:53
based on what you expect it to be and
00:16:55
what you're willing to give in return
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when we first realized you can quite
00:17:00
literally negotiate with reality our
00:17:02
entire life
00:17:03
view changed you can ask reality for
00:17:06
anything
00:17:06
and it will require specific things in
00:17:08
return those specific things
00:17:11
require effort but since you're already
00:17:13
at the negotiation table
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you know they're worth it for you want a
00:17:17
big house
00:17:18
life is willing to give it to you in
00:17:20
exchange for x amount of effort
00:17:22
want a lovely family this is what you
00:17:24
need to trade for it
00:17:26
that's what people mean when they say
00:17:27
life is endless in possibility
00:17:30
you can quite literally negotiate almost
00:17:32
every aspect of your life
00:17:34
if you're willing to make the trade you
00:17:36
can rid yourself of everything you don't
00:17:38
like
00:17:38
or don't want in life but most people
00:17:41
don't want to trade
00:17:43
good negotiations take time effort and
00:17:45
resources
00:17:47
big deals don't get closed in minutes or
00:17:49
days
00:17:50
it takes big companies sometimes years
00:17:52
to figure out how to make a deal
00:17:54
and if you're sitting there expecting
00:17:56
life to give you everything you've ever
00:17:58
wanted the next morning
00:18:00
of course it won't take this moment in
00:18:02
time to think about your reality
00:18:04
and what can be negotiated want a better
00:18:07
job
00:18:08
negotiate for it want more time with
00:18:10
your kids
00:18:11
negotiate for it for anything you want
00:18:14
there's
00:18:14
someone you can negotiate with we can't
00:18:17
wait to hear what you do with these
00:18:18
lessons and what you'll negotiate for
00:18:20
yourself alexers
00:18:22
it's been an honor having you here with
00:18:23
us today and we're thankful to every one
00:18:26
of you that made it this far in the
00:18:27
video
00:18:28
just so we can know your name please
00:18:30
write r-i-n in the comments
00:18:32
which stands for reality is negotiable
00:18:35
that way we know our message got across
00:18:38
to the right people
00:18:40
thanks for watching alexers remember to
00:18:42
subscribe for more great content
00:18:44
and we always appreciate your thumbs up
