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[Music]
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[Applause]
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hello
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everyone this probably just looks like
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regular old juggling to you and that's
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because it
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is but it's in dropping the ball that I
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made such a profound Discovery during
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what I thought was one of the worst and
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most embarrassing moments of my life you
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see when I was little I wanted nothing
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more than to be an actor when I grew up
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because the weight of the world hadn't
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yet crushed my
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spirit I hadn't heard no enough hadn't
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heard that I was too small too short too
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fat too stupid hadn't heard that I was
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not smart enough or not fast enough or
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simply not good enough and because I
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hadn't heard some of this until much
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later in my life I started the journey
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joury of getting myself an
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agent it was actually through that
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process that I started to hear some of
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those more negative comments you're not
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ready you're not the right look you're
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just not good enough and I started to
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internalize this unfortunately so I had
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to start in the safest place I got
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myself a background agent which required
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nothing more of me than to stand still
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in the background kind of like the child
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that plays the tree in the school
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play just happy to be on the team
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one day though my agent did call me with
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my very first audition no more tree for
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me she calls me and she says hey you can
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juggle right to which I respond yes of
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course great your audition's tomorrow
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9:00 a.m. sharp toodles my agent loved
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to say
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toodles now I'd like to make something
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abundantly clear at that point in my
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life I didn't know how to juggle
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like at all so I did what anyone would
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do in a situation like that I call my
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friend Adam who does I show up at his
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house at 5:00 p.m. at night and he
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starts me off with scarves slow moving
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juggling scarves so my body has time to
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figure out what it's doing then he
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upgrades me to my first
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ball then two and finally three and by
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the end of the night I'm able to juggle
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for about 5
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Seconds it doesn't look pretty and I
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make a lot of strange focused faces as
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I'm doing it but you can technically
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call it
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juggling the next day I show up at the
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audition on time and it is packed with
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professional jugglers clowns and
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magicians all who are nonchalantly
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carrying on full conversations with
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juggling six balls at the same time
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they're bouncing them off the walls
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they're so good and I'm just in awe
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staring at my borrow juggling
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balls and income these
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voices you are not not good
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enough you don't belong
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here all I want to do in this moment is
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disappear and make sure I don't
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embarrass myself or my agent so badly
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that I'm never able to work in this town
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again but I take a deep
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breath remember that I have a whole 5
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Seconds of juggling under my
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belt and I sit
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down and then I hear it Josh Josh Green
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you're
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up on the inside
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such Grace and confidence on the outside
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even though clearly sweating through my
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shirt I walk into the audition room
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introduce myself to the casting
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directors and wait for them to call
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Action I start juggling I've got my
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struggle face on I'm biting my tongue in
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Fierce concentration and I'm moving all
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over the place I'm about to reach my
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5-second juggling limit and they they
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haven't stopped me
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yet why haven't they stopped
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me then it happens I drop the ball at
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this point my face couldn't look
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sillier I'm staring at them they're
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staring at me I don't know what to do so
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I just pick the ball up and continue
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juggling as if nothing ever happened
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trying to smile through my struggle
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face they stopped me immediately that's
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thank you that's enough next o
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and income those voices again I told you
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you weren't good enough you blew
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it the next day my agent calls me asking
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me how I thought it
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went I tell her that I gave it my best
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shot and we'll get him next time then I
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thought she was going to give me a
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little bit of feedback but instead she
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says you nailed it you got the part wait
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what so she emails me the script with
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the name of my character at the top of
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the page and in bold letters it says
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stupid
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[Applause]
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Jester in sharing this story with you
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you got a really good look of what was
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going on for me externally but I'd love
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to dig into the discoveries I made
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internally to help me navigate some of
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those really negative voices the first
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one those voices they're not your voices
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no child is born thinking they're not
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enough the voices we hang on to tend to
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come from a select few people in our
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lives a teacher a parent a bully a
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partner they start on the outside and
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they slowly move inside but they're not
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our voices they're somebody else's and
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we don't have to listen to them and
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guess what the casting directors have
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those voices too they were given so much
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information from so many people just
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saying they needed somebody who could
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juggle they also have superiors so
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they're wondering am I doing a good job
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am I getting the right person the person
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interviewing you probably feels this way
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your date might feel that way as well no
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one really knows exactly what they're
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looking for which is why Steve Jobs so
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famously said nobody knows what they
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want until you give it to them which is
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why after a long day of amazing jugglers
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all pretty much doing the exact same
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thing being amazing I walked in
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looked like an idiot to which they
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responded oh my gosh this guy's
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perfect another Discovery I made was
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practice I did not just show up to my
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first audition overcome my negative
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thoughts and Bam I lived happily ever
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after no no no no no I practiced I
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started safe and small I started as a
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background performer all I had to do was
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walk around in the background and make
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it look so uninteresting that it didn't
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draw anyone's attention what's the
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safest place that you could start what's
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your version of background performer
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because once you start it builds
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momentum that can't be stopped but you
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do have to start you also have to show
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up I had so many chances to turn down my
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juggling opportunity I could have told
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my agent that I didn't know how I could
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have just not gone to the
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audition and I could have just left when
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I saw all the amazingly talented
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jugglers that were there but I stayed in
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spite of the voices that said I wasn't
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good enough and I showed up because I
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could have been exactly what they were
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looking for and I
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was had I not gone though the show would
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have gone on without me they would have
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cast another juggler into the role and
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I'm sure it would have been fine but
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that means somebody else would be living
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my life right
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now ask
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yourselves how many people are living
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your best life right now CU you turned
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down an opport
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so say yes to Opportunities show
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up you probably also notice that I
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didn't do this by
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myself though I didn't know how to
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juggle I did know someone who did
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surrounding myself with extremely
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talented people who know more than me
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and think highly of me has always been
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so helpful at helping me expand my
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horizons or in this particular instance
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growing me out of a
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pinch think of all the people you have
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in your life and what they could show
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you if you just called them and said
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heyy can you teach me how to play guitar
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or how to
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swim or I don't know whatever a project
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manager does I don't
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know one of the most painful discoveries
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I made during all this was that it's not
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all rainbows and sunshine there is a
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harsh truth that I had to get through
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books and movies tend to skip over these
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parts but the truth is I was a
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background performer for over 2 years
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before I even got my first audition the
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voices were very loud back then
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extremely cemented and
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internalized after that I only landed
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one in every 30
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auditions one in every 50 jokes got a
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laugh while I was on stage and I failed
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more businesses than I care to remember
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this is why it's so important to start
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Safe Keep practicing continue to show up
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and have the support of others because
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all of these proactive actions over time
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help to silence those negative voices it
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pushes them further away and it all
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leads to a much more fulfilling life
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saying yes to acting led to a wonderful
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and fulfilling acting career saying yes
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also led to a comedy career that allows
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me to travel the
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country it allowed me to be on the
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bottom of the ocean on just one breath
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for over two
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minutes it allowed me to save a human
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life that was pretty
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cool and to doing my very first
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tedex
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all of this because I embrace the
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moments when those voices arise so look
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I know that the Unseen life is a scary
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life so we tend to stick to what's safe
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because it keeps those voices quiet when
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I took on 5 hours of juggling to do my
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first audition I kept hearing no way
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you're going to be good
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enough but rather than shy away from
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that I amra Ed the part of me that felt
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like I couldn't do it and said why
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wouldn't I be good
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enough I practiced I showed up and I
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took my place and I encourage you to do
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the same because when you hear that
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voice that says you're not good enough
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that just means you're doing something
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right it means you're embracing The
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Human Experience and pushing yourself
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just beyond your
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Edge so let's be honest dropping the
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ball does not sound like a good
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idea but it's one of the best things
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that ever happened to me me so the next
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time opportunity comes your way and you
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hear that voice saying you're not good
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enough don't drop the ball I encourage
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you to do the exact
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opposite thank
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you
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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w
