Six Keys to Developing Executive Function Skills at School and at Home

00:53:12
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7Bs1TU8LVA

Sintesi

TLDRJulie Principe, with 36 years of teaching experience in British Columbia, focuses on supporting neurodiverse learners, particularly those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). As the founder of ADHD Roadmap Consulting, she helps learners develop executive skills, which are essential mental processes for organizing, planning, task completion, and maintaining composure. Julie emphasizes the importance of understanding personal and external barriers faced by those with executive skills challenges, especially in neurodiverse communities. She introduces key strategies like co-regulation, which involves helping individuals feel safe and connected through emotional and social support, and self-regulation, which is learning to manage one's emotions and actions independently. The workshop discusses creating predictable environments, appropriate regulation strategies, and understanding the difference between inability ('can't') and unwillingness ('won't'). Julie also highlights the impact of felt safety, where a person's sense of security is shaped by their experiences, and the importance of equity and inclusion in education. She provides practical advice on building supportive relationships, recognizing strengths, and fostering emotional regulation to help individuals with ADHD in their everyday lives.

Punti di forza

  • 👩‍🏫 Julie Principe is an experienced educator and consultant for ADHD.
  • 🔑 Executive skills are crucial for organization and task management.
  • ❤️ Emotional regulation is key to accessing cognitive skills.
  • 🤝 Co-regulation involves supporting others' regulation efforts.
  • 🧠 Self-regulation requires managing one's own emotions independently.
  • 📚 Predictability and routine are important for regulation.
  • 🌐 Felt safety is subjective and varies by individual experiences.
  • 💡 Teaching and modeling are crucial for regulation development.
  • 🚦 Creating supportive environments aids emotional regulation.
  • 🔍 Understanding 'can't vs won't' helps in addressing challenges.

Linea temporale

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Julie Principe, with 36 years of teaching experience, discusses her background and her work with ADHD roadmap consulting. She shares her personal connections to ADHD and acknowledges the land she works on, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion towards neurodiverse learners.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    She addresses the audience, assuming they are likely teachers or parents of children with ADHD. She introduces the concept of executive skills, essential for organization, planning, and emotional regulation. Principe explains how underdeveloped skills can lead to misperceptions about a child's motivation or laziness.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Julie emphasizes the importance of emotional and working memory in managing tasks and how ADHD can complicate these aspects. She shares personal anecdotes about dealing with anxiety in task management and stresses co-regulation as a foundational step towards self-regulation.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    She elaborates on co-regulation, explaining its role in helping individuals feel safe and connected. This connection is crucial for self-regulation development. She also highlights the need for compassion in supporting children through their emotional and learning challenges.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Julie discusses strategies for dealing with dysregulation, stressing the importance of preparation and understanding individual needs. She draws on examples from her past experiences and suggests creating 'Plan B' days for challenging situations.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    Julie touches on understanding a child's nervous system and setting realistic expectations based on their developmental level. She suggests focusing on building relationships and checking emotional states to better support children's regulatory needs.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    She emphasizes the role of predictability and structure in emotional regulation. Julie encourages creating norms and rules collaboratively and tailoring consequences according to a child's developmental stage to promote fairness and understanding.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    The importance of teaching emotional regulation continues, with a focus on proactive strategies. Julie discusses the need to develop advanced executive functions as children grow and emphasizes using co-regulation as a teaching tool.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:00

    Julie advises on creating routines and using visuals to make environments predictable and supportive. She underscores the necessity of coordinating between school and home to maintain consistent support for children with ADHD.

  • 00:45:00 - 00:53:12

    Ending with a Q&A, Julie addresses audience concerns about handling challenges with older children, explaining the complexity of identifying and supporting executive skill deficiencies. She highlights the continuous need for empathy and understanding in dealing with ADHD.

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Mappa mentale

Video Domande e Risposte

  • Who is Julie Principe?

    Julie Principe is a former classroom and inclusion teacher from British Columbia, Canada, with 36 years of experience. She is now the founder of ADHD Roadmap Consulting.

  • What is the focus of this workshop?

    The focus is on supporting adults, youth, and students with ADHD and other executive skills challenges.

  • What are executive skills?

    Executive skills are mental processes that help with organizing, planning, task completion, and maintaining composure under stress.

  • How do executive skills relate to ADHD?

    Individuals with ADHD often face challenges with executive skills, which can affect how they organize, plan, and manage tasks.

  • What is co-regulation?

    Co-regulation involves using thoughts, feelings, energy, and actions to help someone feel safe and connected, acting as a support for others' regulation.

  • What does the speaker say about felt safety?

    Felt safety refers to when a person feels secure and connected, which is different for everyone and can be impacted by personal experiences such as trauma.

  • Why is emotional regulation important?

    Emotional regulation is crucial for accessing skills like attention, focus, and memory; it's the foundation for meeting intellectual and creative challenges.

  • What strategies are suggested for supporting emotional regulation?

    Strategies include co-regulation, predictability, routines, rituals, and creating safe and connected environments.

  • What steps are recommended for handling dysregulation?

    The steps include understanding and regulating oneself first, planning for dysregulation, and creating a supportive environment.

  • How does teaching self-regulation differ from co-regulation?

    Self-regulation is the individual's ability to manage their own emotions and actions, while co-regulation involves external support to help them achieve this.

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Scorrimento automatico:
  • 00:00:05
    [Music]
  • 00:00:13
    thank you
  • 00:00:16
    I'm Julie Principe I have 36 years
  • 00:00:18
    experience in British Columbia Canada as
  • 00:00:20
    a classroom teacher teacher of English
  • 00:00:22
    language Learners and the resource
  • 00:00:23
    teacher working with neurodiverse
  • 00:00:25
    Learners as a resource teacher sorry I
  • 00:00:28
    recently retired as a district inclusion
  • 00:00:30
    teacher and founded ADHD roadmap
  • 00:00:32
    Consulting to support adults Youth and
  • 00:00:35
    students who want to develop their
  • 00:00:36
    executive skills I'm also co-founder of
  • 00:00:39
    practical possibilities Consulting and
  • 00:00:41
    you'll see some slides with that
  • 00:00:42
    copyright
  • 00:00:43
    more importantly I have family members
  • 00:00:46
    and close friends with attention deficit
  • 00:00:48
    hyperactivity disorder ADHD they've
  • 00:00:51
    helped me develop a deeper understanding
  • 00:00:53
    of the barriers for those with executive
  • 00:00:55
    skills challenges I am in awe of their
  • 00:00:58
    Relentless optimism and courage as they
  • 00:01:01
    tackle everyday tasks that require more
  • 00:01:03
    energy than a neurotypical person would
  • 00:01:05
    need in the same situation
  • 00:01:09
    I'd like to begin by making a
  • 00:01:11
    territorial acknowledgment for the lands
  • 00:01:13
    I'm living and working on today I'm
  • 00:01:15
    presenting from home in Burnaby British
  • 00:01:18
    Columbia Canada on the traditional
  • 00:01:20
    ancestral unseated territories of the
  • 00:01:23
    hulkamilim the squamish-speaking peoples
  • 00:01:25
    and the metis nation I'm grateful for
  • 00:01:28
    their care and teachings about the land
  • 00:01:29
    water and sky and the life that they
  • 00:01:32
    sustain
  • 00:01:33
    I respect these teachings by encouraging
  • 00:01:35
    Equity diversity and inclusion in the
  • 00:01:38
    communities where I live and work
  • 00:01:41
    so
  • 00:01:43
    um if you're attending this Workshop or
  • 00:01:44
    watching the recording I'm going to
  • 00:01:46
    guess that you're either a teacher or
  • 00:01:48
    caregiver or parent but if none of these
  • 00:01:51
    descriptions fit I'm still delighted
  • 00:01:53
    you're here if you're a teacher you're
  • 00:01:55
    probably here because of a student in
  • 00:01:56
    mind if you're a parent which sounds
  • 00:01:58
    like most of you are you likely have a
  • 00:02:00
    child or teen with ADHD who might be
  • 00:02:02
    struggling at school or at home or both
  • 00:02:04
    or maybe of executive skills challenges
  • 00:02:06
    yourself some people did indicate that
  • 00:02:08
    whatever your reason for joining us on
  • 00:02:10
    the next 45 minutes I'll introduce six
  • 00:02:12
    important keys to unlock the development
  • 00:02:14
    of executive skills each key will unlock
  • 00:02:17
    a door I'm sure to more questions and
  • 00:02:20
    I'll do my best to answer them during
  • 00:02:21
    the Q a at the end or feel free to email
  • 00:02:24
    me or reach out to me on social media
  • 00:02:26
    I'd love to hear from you
  • 00:02:29
    so what are executive skills and why are
  • 00:02:32
    they important
  • 00:02:34
    um it helps to think of them in three
  • 00:02:35
    clusters of course in reality they're
  • 00:02:37
    difficult to separate and often
  • 00:02:38
    interdependent executive skills help us
  • 00:02:41
    organize and plan get things done and
  • 00:02:43
    keep our cool when things don't turn out
  • 00:02:45
    the way we expected they work alongside
  • 00:02:47
    our intellect and creativity and allow
  • 00:02:49
    us to meet challenges if we use the
  • 00:02:52
    analogy of a ladder we can imagine that
  • 00:02:54
    there are some foundational skills at
  • 00:02:55
    the bottom and more advanced skills at
  • 00:02:57
    the top we can think about the bottom
  • 00:02:59
    sort of how we react skills as important
  • 00:03:02
    for the development of the skills on the
  • 00:03:03
    higher rungs although we don't actually
  • 00:03:06
    develop these in sequence the
  • 00:03:08
    foundational skills do support the full
  • 00:03:10
    development of the more advanced skills
  • 00:03:13
    though although it might seem that we're
  • 00:03:15
    good to go when we when we get close to
  • 00:03:17
    the top rungs it's here near the top the
  • 00:03:19
    ladder where some of us get stuck or
  • 00:03:22
    stall even though they've already
  • 00:03:23
    developed some good executive skills
  • 00:03:25
    already
  • 00:03:27
    missing these last four can get in the
  • 00:03:29
    way of reaching our goals and when we
  • 00:03:30
    don't recognize these missing or lagging
  • 00:03:33
    skills we might decide that the child
  • 00:03:35
    teen or young adult is unmotivated a
  • 00:03:38
    procrastinator or just plain lazy
  • 00:03:41
    calling someone who has difficulty with
  • 00:03:43
    task initiation a procrastinator or
  • 00:03:46
    worse is like saying that a child
  • 00:03:48
    learning to ride a bike is losing
  • 00:03:49
    balance and crashing on purpose so
  • 00:03:52
    everyone has difficulty with executive
  • 00:03:54
    skills once in a while especially in
  • 00:03:55
    times of stress when was the last time
  • 00:03:58
    you forgot your lunch or couldn't find
  • 00:03:59
    your keys or your phone were you in a
  • 00:04:01
    hurry or stressed about something
  • 00:04:04
    maybe working memory is not a problem
  • 00:04:06
    for you generally but we all have some
  • 00:04:08
    executive skills that are stronger than
  • 00:04:10
    others and like our other executive
  • 00:04:12
    skills working memories directly
  • 00:04:15
    impacted by our emotions
  • 00:04:17
    ADHD expert Ray Jacobson describes
  • 00:04:19
    working memory as a temporary sort of
  • 00:04:22
    mental scratch scratch Pad holding all
  • 00:04:25
    the information we need at the moment
  • 00:04:27
    some people need to use more of their
  • 00:04:29
    scratch pad or working memory for
  • 00:04:31
    processing what others might be able to
  • 00:04:33
    do more quickly
  • 00:04:34
    personally this affects me when people
  • 00:04:36
    give me directions my scratch Pad does
  • 00:04:39
    not have enough space to listen to or
  • 00:04:41
    focus on the directions and then
  • 00:04:42
    remember them
  • 00:04:43
    as well lurking in the background is
  • 00:04:47
    always my anxiety which used to start up
  • 00:04:49
    every time someone gave me directions I
  • 00:04:52
    was immediately distracted by trying to
  • 00:04:53
    find a pen and paper and then cover my
  • 00:04:55
    embarrassment when I had to ask them to
  • 00:04:57
    start again
  • 00:04:58
    now I just used my I make notes on my
  • 00:05:01
    phone or I get the address and put it
  • 00:05:02
    into Google Maps or my GPS we can all
  • 00:05:05
    learn coping spell skills to support our
  • 00:05:07
    executive functions so the more we learn
  • 00:05:09
    about the human brain the better we
  • 00:05:11
    understand that it takes until our
  • 00:05:12
    mid-20s for the prefrontal cortex to
  • 00:05:15
    fully develop which is the area of the
  • 00:05:17
    brain responsible for executive skills
  • 00:05:19
    until our brains are fully developed we
  • 00:05:22
    rely on support and guidance from those
  • 00:05:24
    around us usually our caregivers parents
  • 00:05:26
    teachers and others in our communities
  • 00:05:29
    so the first key is co-regulation and
  • 00:05:32
    it's critical I think I think though
  • 00:05:35
    before we dive into co-regulation we
  • 00:05:37
    should talk a little bit about
  • 00:05:38
    regulation first before we talk about
  • 00:05:40
    co-regulation so what is regulation we
  • 00:05:44
    regulate ourselves in much the same way
  • 00:05:47
    as a dimmer switch for a light
  • 00:05:49
    um by the way when I was rigging this
  • 00:05:51
    slide I it kind of shows my age I'm
  • 00:05:54
    dating myself but I was thinking dimmer
  • 00:05:55
    switch like the one in the center but I
  • 00:05:58
    realized a lot of people now are using
  • 00:05:59
    their phones with dimmer switches so I'm
  • 00:06:01
    pretty sure that's familiar to many of
  • 00:06:03
    you
  • 00:06:04
    we regulate ourselves in much the same
  • 00:06:06
    way as the dimmer switch for light we
  • 00:06:08
    dial our energy and emotions up or down
  • 00:06:11
    depending on the situation
  • 00:06:14
    as adults most of the time we're in
  • 00:06:16
    control of the switch but sometimes
  • 00:06:18
    their energy and emotions take over this
  • 00:06:20
    is part of Being Human as our brain's
  • 00:06:23
    prefrontal cortex develops and our
  • 00:06:25
    executive skills develop we gain more
  • 00:06:27
    control so this is a child-friendly
  • 00:06:29
    definition of Regulation that my
  • 00:06:30
    co-author Dan Palmer and I have
  • 00:06:32
    developed for unit on regulation for
  • 00:06:34
    grades one and two even though the
  • 00:06:36
    language is simple it also works for
  • 00:06:38
    older students regulation is when your
  • 00:06:41
    thoughts feelings energy and actions
  • 00:06:44
    work together to keep you safe and
  • 00:06:46
    connected
  • 00:06:48
    sometimes we can do this ourselves and
  • 00:06:51
    sometimes we need help
  • 00:06:53
    when we are regulated we can take care
  • 00:06:55
    of ourselves and others in our community
  • 00:06:58
    our brains depend upon a feeling of
  • 00:07:00
    safety that comes from being connected
  • 00:07:02
    to others
  • 00:07:03
    trauma can derail this feeling of safety
  • 00:07:06
    researchers and people in the mental
  • 00:07:08
    health field have now began talking
  • 00:07:11
    about something that felt safety this
  • 00:07:14
    term is more accurate when describing a
  • 00:07:16
    person's experience for example trauma
  • 00:07:18
    can impact how safe a person feels and
  • 00:07:21
    make them feel unsafe even in a
  • 00:07:23
    situation in which others feel totally
  • 00:07:25
    safe
  • 00:07:26
    this idea of felt safety will help us
  • 00:07:28
    realize when co-regulation is needed and
  • 00:07:31
    which supports strategies to offer so
  • 00:07:33
    co-regulation is when another person
  • 00:07:36
    uses their thoughts feelings energy and
  • 00:07:39
    actions to help someone feel safe and
  • 00:07:41
    connected when we are regulated we can
  • 00:07:44
    help others to regulate
  • 00:07:46
    if your teacher you probably find a
  • 00:07:48
    large part of your day is spent wisely I
  • 00:07:50
    might add being a co-regulator for your
  • 00:07:53
    students same for parents there's been a
  • 00:07:56
    big focus in education though on
  • 00:07:59
    teaching children self-regulation we
  • 00:08:02
    often expect children to be able to
  • 00:08:04
    regulate above their developmental level
  • 00:08:06
    it's complicated because a student might
  • 00:08:09
    be able to do something one day but not
  • 00:08:10
    the next
  • 00:08:12
    we are working toward self-regulation
  • 00:08:14
    but children need co-regulation first
  • 00:08:19
    those who are having more frequent
  • 00:08:21
    challenges regulating will need a
  • 00:08:23
    co-regulator longer and perhaps more
  • 00:08:25
    often
  • 00:08:26
    even teenagers and adults can use a
  • 00:08:29
    co-regulator in time to stress as adults
  • 00:08:32
    we lean on our partners friends and
  • 00:08:33
    family when the going gets tough
  • 00:08:35
    self-regulation is when you use your
  • 00:08:38
    thoughts feelings energy in actions to
  • 00:08:40
    stay safe and connected on your own
  • 00:08:43
    we can teach tools and strategies that
  • 00:08:45
    support children and teens regulation
  • 00:08:47
    the effectiveness of specific regulation
  • 00:08:50
    strategies like taking a deep breath for
  • 00:08:52
    example varies from person to person
  • 00:08:55
    as adults we found through experiences
  • 00:08:57
    some things work better for us than
  • 00:08:58
    others
  • 00:09:00
    take a moment here to think about what
  • 00:09:02
    you do to regulate as an adult
  • 00:09:04
    some people do like taking a deep breath
  • 00:09:07
    for others that doesn't seem to do much
  • 00:09:10
    for them
  • 00:09:12
    the three most important aspects of
  • 00:09:14
    learning attention focus and memory are
  • 00:09:16
    all controlled by our emotions not
  • 00:09:18
    cognition
  • 00:09:19
    I wanted to emphasize the word
  • 00:09:20
    controlled in this quotation I agree
  • 00:09:22
    with Dr Brackett we can't begin to use
  • 00:09:25
    these skills unless we are emotionally
  • 00:09:26
    regulated we can be emotionally related
  • 00:09:29
    regulated when we feel safe and
  • 00:09:31
    connected which brings us back to go
  • 00:09:34
    regulation
  • 00:09:36
    so co-regulating successfully requires
  • 00:09:38
    proactive strategies and responses we do
  • 00:09:41
    many of these things automatically
  • 00:09:43
    thinking about it more intentionally
  • 00:09:45
    helps to ground us when emotions are
  • 00:09:47
    high and we'll go through these one at a
  • 00:09:49
    time so regulating yourself first
  • 00:09:53
    um
  • 00:09:54
    much like putting on your own oxygen
  • 00:09:56
    mask first in an airplane emergency as a
  • 00:09:59
    parent or teacher you are important
  • 00:10:00
    co-regulator so you can do that by
  • 00:10:02
    taking a quick moment to think about
  • 00:10:04
    your own nervous system and your body's
  • 00:10:06
    energy level ask yourself what's your
  • 00:10:09
    dimmer switch set on are you grounded
  • 00:10:11
    how intense are your emotions or maybe
  • 00:10:14
    your energy is too low and you feel or
  • 00:10:16
    you feel overwhelmed too high too low or
  • 00:10:19
    just right for the situation
  • 00:10:21
    check your thoughts and feelings do you
  • 00:10:23
    need to adjust your self-talk switching
  • 00:10:25
    from one of my things that pops into my
  • 00:10:28
    head a lot here we go again to oh my
  • 00:10:31
    child feels this right now
  • 00:10:34
    reframe a switch from thoughts like
  • 00:10:36
    they're just doing that to get my
  • 00:10:37
    attention to what do they need right now
  • 00:10:40
    and then use the strategies that work
  • 00:10:42
    for you
  • 00:10:45
    the second step is to plan for
  • 00:10:47
    dysregulation
  • 00:10:49
    human beings become dysregulated it's
  • 00:10:51
    going to happen probably at the most
  • 00:10:53
    inconvenient time so what's your plan
  • 00:10:57
    Jody Carrington a Canadian speaker and
  • 00:10:59
    author I love this quote she says the
  • 00:11:01
    job of little people is to lose their
  • 00:11:04
    minds and our job is to walk them
  • 00:11:06
    through it as often as we're able
  • 00:11:09
    what strategies work best for you to
  • 00:11:11
    keep everyone safe and calm and to calm
  • 00:11:14
    your child
  • 00:11:15
    so thinking ahead you can identify
  • 00:11:17
    challenging situations practice
  • 00:11:19
    self-care although I know that's tricky
  • 00:11:23
    teach model and practice regulation
  • 00:11:25
    strategies with your child and introduce
  • 00:11:28
    a plan b day a plan b day is for hard
  • 00:11:31
    days Plan B days are days with one or
  • 00:11:34
    more
  • 00:11:35
    um at school we call them setting events
  • 00:11:37
    such as coming down with an illness so
  • 00:11:39
    it's something that sets you up to have
  • 00:11:41
    a bad day
  • 00:11:42
    the last time I made a plan b day at
  • 00:11:45
    school was for a deaf student one of her
  • 00:11:47
    favorite teacher's aide the only one who
  • 00:11:49
    could sign by the way was away for the
  • 00:11:52
    day this rarely happened because that ta
  • 00:11:54
    is a superhero
  • 00:11:56
    but when it did the student would have
  • 00:11:58
    three or more meltdowns if we tried to
  • 00:11:59
    follow the regular plan without signing
  • 00:12:02
    support I just could not totally not
  • 00:12:04
    blame her for that
  • 00:12:05
    her plan b day included some work
  • 00:12:07
    activities at her independent level more
  • 00:12:10
    breaks and more preferred activities
  • 00:12:12
    especially in the afternoon when she was
  • 00:12:14
    more tired this allowed everyone to get
  • 00:12:17
    through the day safely
  • 00:12:19
    on these days you can have students do
  • 00:12:20
    their regulation routines more
  • 00:12:22
    frequently what would this look like at
  • 00:12:24
    home what would you encourage your child
  • 00:12:26
    or teen to do when they feel overwhelmed
  • 00:12:29
    at homes you could also lower the
  • 00:12:31
    demands help them regulate offer more
  • 00:12:34
    breaks support or
  • 00:12:36
    um I said accommodations I don't know if
  • 00:12:38
    you call that accommodation at home but
  • 00:12:40
    you know maybe you do something they do
  • 00:12:42
    something if they have a chore to do so
  • 00:12:44
    that they're not doing the whole thing
  • 00:12:45
    themselves
  • 00:12:46
    uh do favorite and familiar activities
  • 00:12:48
    that are also regulating
  • 00:12:51
    um in this in for this thing I would
  • 00:12:54
    suggest not computer games which are
  • 00:12:55
    escalating you know the ones which cause
  • 00:12:57
    your good-natured child to throw the
  • 00:12:59
    controller across the room
  • 00:13:01
    if they're going to play uh computer
  • 00:13:03
    games to regulate then you might want to
  • 00:13:05
    have a little chat with them about which
  • 00:13:06
    ones are appropriate and which ones help
  • 00:13:08
    them to bring their emotions to to a
  • 00:13:12
    calmer level
  • 00:13:14
    focus on relationship building spend
  • 00:13:16
    some time together at home if you can
  • 00:13:18
    the third step is to understand your
  • 00:13:20
    child's nervous system
  • 00:13:21
    but situations are difficult for them
  • 00:13:23
    what helps them to reset
  • 00:13:25
    what's reasonable to expect at your your
  • 00:13:28
    child or student's age have they
  • 00:13:30
    experienced trauma
  • 00:13:32
    how's their sleep routine do they get
  • 00:13:34
    enough sleep
  • 00:13:36
    um between 5 and 11 years old children
  • 00:13:37
    need 9 to 11 hours of sleep a night the
  • 00:13:40
    fourth step is to check and adjust your
  • 00:13:42
    expectations of your child consider your
  • 00:13:45
    child's development
  • 00:13:47
    um are your expectations reasonable
  • 00:13:49
    given their developmental level and if
  • 00:13:51
    they have any other conditions
  • 00:13:52
    then check your expectations of yourself
  • 00:13:55
    have you been comparing yourself to
  • 00:13:57
    unrealistic standards maybe share it on
  • 00:14:00
    social media
  • 00:14:01
    practice self-compassion give yourself
  • 00:14:03
    permission to be imperfect
  • 00:14:06
    would it be helpful to reach out to
  • 00:14:08
    someone for support this includes
  • 00:14:09
    support for your child as well if that
  • 00:14:11
    would be if that would work for you
  • 00:14:15
    the fifth step is to check in once your
  • 00:14:18
    child's state of Regulation what is
  • 00:14:20
    their dimmer switch set at is there
  • 00:14:22
    energy
  • 00:14:23
    um too high too low or just right
  • 00:14:25
    what is the intensity of their emotions
  • 00:14:30
    I love this image oh I'm um this so the
  • 00:14:33
    sixth step will be there and is I'm
  • 00:14:36
    calling be there in hold space when
  • 00:14:38
    possible as a parent part of planning
  • 00:14:41
    for dysregulation would be thinking
  • 00:14:43
    through how to manage meltdowns before
  • 00:14:45
    they happen
  • 00:14:46
    this can be hard to do when you have
  • 00:14:48
    kids in so many different places having
  • 00:14:50
    meltdowns grocery store family dinners
  • 00:14:52
    schools are generally not set up for
  • 00:14:54
    meltdowns as a teacher you should be
  • 00:14:56
    following a learning planner Behavior
  • 00:14:58
    plan if there is one and if not then
  • 00:15:01
    dysregulation is becoming more frequent
  • 00:15:03
    Consulting your school team might be
  • 00:15:05
    helpful
  • 00:15:06
    part of planning ahead could also at
  • 00:15:08
    home be talking with siblings about
  • 00:15:10
    regulation and then if you're teaching
  • 00:15:13
    regulation at school to the whole class
  • 00:15:15
    the discussion can be respectful and
  • 00:15:17
    inclusive feeling safe and regulated is
  • 00:15:20
    a human need is not necessary to single
  • 00:15:22
    out one child
  • 00:15:26
    this is the image that I love
  • 00:15:28
    this this regulation looks different for
  • 00:15:31
    everyone
  • 00:15:32
    this is the perfect image of
  • 00:15:34
    co-regulation what helps your child to
  • 00:15:36
    feel safe when they have big emotions
  • 00:15:38
    it helps to know that when children are
  • 00:15:39
    having a meltdown or losing it that
  • 00:15:41
    their prefrontal cortex is offline and
  • 00:15:43
    they have limited ability ability to
  • 00:15:46
    hear think and make choices you're
  • 00:15:48
    essentially waiting for the cortisol and
  • 00:15:50
    adrenaline generated by the distress to
  • 00:15:52
    be processed by their body and for them
  • 00:15:54
    to begin to calm
  • 00:15:56
    reflect on what's working and what's
  • 00:15:58
    missing that you could put in place for
  • 00:16:00
    next time so the last step is to
  • 00:16:01
    strengthen your connection and build
  • 00:16:03
    your relationship
  • 00:16:04
    try to spend some time this special for
  • 00:16:06
    you and your child doing something they
  • 00:16:07
    enjoy even if it's a video game this can
  • 00:16:10
    be important make time to check in even
  • 00:16:13
    on busy days at home and at school I
  • 00:16:15
    recently watched a young teacher move
  • 00:16:17
    around a grade 2 classroom at the
  • 00:16:19
    beginning of lunchtime touching base
  • 00:16:21
    with a few students as they ate and was
  • 00:16:23
    just set Priceless to wash their faces
  • 00:16:25
    light up as she talked with each of them
  • 00:16:27
    build a connection activities into each
  • 00:16:30
    into everyday routines at home maybe
  • 00:16:32
    it's dinner time talking about the best
  • 00:16:34
    thing that happened that day and
  • 00:16:36
    celebrate successes so the second key
  • 00:16:39
    is
  • 00:16:41
    um knowing your strengths before we can
  • 00:16:42
    build on them we need to know what they
  • 00:16:44
    are
  • 00:16:45
    as adults so we can be effective
  • 00:16:47
    co-regulators and for our children so we
  • 00:16:49
    can build on their strengths these two
  • 00:16:51
    books by Peg Dawson and Richard Ware
  • 00:16:53
    have informal rating skills that might
  • 00:16:55
    be helpful to figure out what your
  • 00:16:56
    strengths are as well as your areas of
  • 00:16:58
    challenge they're not Norm referenced
  • 00:17:00
    and shouldn't replace the use of Norm
  • 00:17:02
    reference rating scales or formal
  • 00:17:04
    testing one that's appropriate
  • 00:17:06
    the first book on the left smart but
  • 00:17:08
    scattered guide to success has an
  • 00:17:10
    executive skills questionnaire for
  • 00:17:12
    adults and there's a quick online
  • 00:17:13
    version on thesmartbitscattered.com
  • 00:17:15
    website it's appropriate for high school
  • 00:17:17
    students and adults the second smart but
  • 00:17:20
    scattered book with purple cover has
  • 00:17:22
    reading scales for preschool Elementary
  • 00:17:25
    Middle School and parents I think that
  • 00:17:27
    just about covers everybody so
  • 00:17:29
    identifying your strengths as an
  • 00:17:31
    educator and a parent will help you to
  • 00:17:33
    help your child or student and you can
  • 00:17:35
    start thinking about these questions how
  • 00:17:38
    would you describe your child's
  • 00:17:40
    personality how does it match your
  • 00:17:42
    personality what do you do well what do
  • 00:17:44
    you struggle with and so on the third
  • 00:17:47
    key emotional regulation is supported by
  • 00:17:50
    co-regulation and develops as our brains
  • 00:17:52
    develop emotional regulation is
  • 00:17:54
    important because it impacts our ability
  • 00:17:56
    to access other skills remember the
  • 00:17:59
    example of someone giving me directions
  • 00:18:00
    and I started to anxiously look around
  • 00:18:02
    for a pen at that point my anxiety
  • 00:18:04
    hijacked my brain and I was not able to
  • 00:18:07
    listen to or process the instructions we
  • 00:18:10
    need to be regulated before we can
  • 00:18:11
    function or learn well we're going to
  • 00:18:13
    spend quite a bit of time today talking
  • 00:18:16
    about emotional regulation so it would
  • 00:18:18
    be simplistic to say that emotional
  • 00:18:20
    regulation involves only these four
  • 00:18:22
    skills in fact an argument could be made
  • 00:18:24
    that we need all the executive skills to
  • 00:18:26
    regulate our emotions however these four
  • 00:18:29
    are the basis for regulation research
  • 00:18:31
    emphasizes that connection and
  • 00:18:33
    co-regulation with a safe and caring
  • 00:18:34
    person forms the basis of all growth and
  • 00:18:37
    learning as humans we need to have
  • 00:18:39
    experienced feeling safe and connected
  • 00:18:41
    before we know what it feels like to be
  • 00:18:43
    regulated when we need we need to be
  • 00:18:46
    regulated to develop socially
  • 00:18:47
    emotionally and academically and we're
  • 00:18:49
    wired as a species to seek connection so
  • 00:18:52
    this is possible
  • 00:18:53
    sometimes these connections develop more
  • 00:18:55
    slowly but once we are connected we
  • 00:18:57
    usually have a sense of felt safety
  • 00:18:59
    trauma can interfere with this however
  • 00:19:01
    putting in place the remaining building
  • 00:19:03
    block still supports emotional
  • 00:19:05
    regulation and can be part of the
  • 00:19:07
    healing process
  • 00:19:09
    predictability
  • 00:19:10
    reduces anxiety which frees up our
  • 00:19:12
    brains and providing a sense of agency
  • 00:19:15
    by offering more choices and autonomy
  • 00:19:18
    starts us down the path to Independence
  • 00:19:20
    and these are all the building blocks
  • 00:19:22
    starting with physical safety
  • 00:19:25
    um it's funny because when I Was
  • 00:19:26
    preparing for this webinar my first
  • 00:19:28
    thought was seriously everyone knows how
  • 00:19:30
    to keep children physically safe but as
  • 00:19:33
    I gave it more thought it's true we know
  • 00:19:34
    how to keep them safe but teachers and
  • 00:19:37
    caregivers don't always have the
  • 00:19:38
    resource and an education to do it well
  • 00:19:40
    and some things are beyond our control
  • 00:19:42
    this can lead to heartbreaking
  • 00:19:44
    situations for children teens and their
  • 00:19:46
    families it's further exacerbated by the
  • 00:19:48
    fact that children with ADHD are at
  • 00:19:51
    increased risk of accidents and injuries
  • 00:19:53
    supervising adults need to understand
  • 00:19:54
    their job is first and foremost as
  • 00:19:56
    co-regulators they'll be more effective
  • 00:19:59
    if they have positive connection or
  • 00:20:00
    relationship especially with the most
  • 00:20:02
    challenging children who need it the
  • 00:20:04
    most
  • 00:20:05
    I recently found
  • 00:20:07
    um some online training programs for
  • 00:20:09
    lunchtime supervisors and play grenades
  • 00:20:11
    that might be just the ticket to support
  • 00:20:12
    this important role I also recommend
  • 00:20:14
    having a look at commonsense.org for
  • 00:20:17
    their free downloadable programs on
  • 00:20:19
    digital citizenship Online safety and
  • 00:20:22
    Bully proofing
  • 00:20:23
    so here we go on the road to
  • 00:20:25
    predictability how can we support
  • 00:20:27
    emotional regulation by making home and
  • 00:20:30
    school more predictable some of you are
  • 00:20:32
    already superstars of this and some may
  • 00:20:34
    just be starting down this road others
  • 00:20:37
    may be well down the road and
  • 00:20:38
    sidetracked by any number of life's
  • 00:20:40
    challenges but it doesn't matter where
  • 00:20:43
    you are
  • 00:20:43
    just thinking about it puts you back on
  • 00:20:45
    the road so the first stop is values
  • 00:20:48
    rules and Norms at home you have had
  • 00:20:51
    your whole child or teen's life to date
  • 00:20:52
    to share your values set rules and
  • 00:20:55
    determine consequences whether you feel
  • 00:20:57
    like this is working or not you've been
  • 00:20:59
    at it for a while
  • 00:21:00
    at school traditionally we set the rules
  • 00:21:02
    at the beginning of the year
  • 00:21:04
    more and more teachers are moving toward
  • 00:21:06
    making rules for safety but then
  • 00:21:07
    creating norms for everything else
  • 00:21:10
    a norm is concrete it's an accepted
  • 00:21:12
    standard of behavior usually describing
  • 00:21:15
    what to do or not do such as be safe or
  • 00:21:18
    for a younger child maybe maybe we would
  • 00:21:20
    say safe hands
  • 00:21:22
    for Norms to be effective there need to
  • 00:21:24
    be concrete examples of what safe hands
  • 00:21:26
    look like in the classroom it might mean
  • 00:21:28
    keeping hands to yourself in a lineup or
  • 00:21:30
    holding scissors properly
  • 00:21:32
    they also need to be created together
  • 00:21:34
    and that is actually the biggest
  • 00:21:35
    difference between norms and rules at
  • 00:21:37
    school these agreed upon behaviors can
  • 00:21:39
    be class wide or school-wide the next
  • 00:21:42
    stop is consequences I feel strongly
  • 00:21:45
    about spending some time untangling the
  • 00:21:48
    current discussions around consequences
  • 00:21:50
    some children experience consequences
  • 00:21:52
    more frequently than others often
  • 00:21:55
    they're the ones whose impulse
  • 00:21:57
    impulse control and emotional control
  • 00:21:59
    develops later than their peers
  • 00:22:01
    consequences are complicated I remember
  • 00:22:04
    discussions I had with my own kids and
  • 00:22:06
    in fact every child I have ever taught
  • 00:22:08
    fair is not equal some children seem to
  • 00:22:11
    have an easier time understanding this
  • 00:22:13
    than others
  • 00:22:14
    some struggle through adulthood trying
  • 00:22:17
    to wrap their heads around the idea
  • 00:22:19
    every child whether they have executive
  • 00:22:22
    skills challenges or not develops at
  • 00:22:24
    their own rate we need to consider that
  • 00:22:26
    when determining the consequence
  • 00:22:29
    sometimes this feels like walking on a
  • 00:22:31
    tightrope
  • 00:22:32
    we also live in a society placed by
  • 00:22:34
    plagued by racism and other forms of
  • 00:22:36
    discrimination which decreases the
  • 00:22:39
    likelihood that consequences will be
  • 00:22:40
    equitable
  • 00:22:42
    our struggle determining consequences is
  • 00:22:44
    a reflection of the very slow and
  • 00:22:46
    overdue change in our North American
  • 00:22:47
    education system as we move from a
  • 00:22:50
    punishment-based system to a
  • 00:22:52
    consequence-based system
  • 00:22:53
    Lori desotel assistant professor speaker
  • 00:22:56
    and author Begins the discipline process
  • 00:22:58
    by asking questions what can I do to
  • 00:23:01
    help you get it right next time what
  • 00:23:03
    skill or strategy do you need to learn
  • 00:23:05
    of course they may not know but it's a
  • 00:23:08
    beautiful place to start which
  • 00:23:09
    completely shifts the focus of the
  • 00:23:11
    conversation
  • 00:23:12
    she says a lot more in her book
  • 00:23:13
    connections over compliance and it's
  • 00:23:15
    definitely worth a read it's on the left
  • 00:23:17
    there in the of the slide that brings us
  • 00:23:19
    to the discussion of can't or won't
  • 00:23:22
    can the child or teen do the thing
  • 00:23:24
    you've asked in my 36 years of teaching
  • 00:23:26
    I've heard many responses to this
  • 00:23:28
    question the most common ones are yes he
  • 00:23:31
    can he's just choosing not to or he's
  • 00:23:34
    making bad choices
  • 00:23:36
    or yes you can she just wants attention
  • 00:23:38
    yes you can because I saw him do it
  • 00:23:41
    yesterday
  • 00:23:42
    yes she can because I know she can do it
  • 00:23:44
    she's just being stubborn
  • 00:23:46
    sometimes an adult will say oh I'm not
  • 00:23:50
    sure I'll check the next stop on the
  • 00:23:52
    road to predictability is teaching
  • 00:23:54
    emotional regulation after we've shared
  • 00:23:56
    our values with them and explain the
  • 00:23:58
    reasoning behind rules and maybe even
  • 00:24:00
    work together to create Norms so they
  • 00:24:02
    understand what we expect them to do we
  • 00:24:05
    need to give children and teens the
  • 00:24:06
    tools to do it
  • 00:24:08
    one of the most effective things we can
  • 00:24:10
    do is teach them how to regulate their
  • 00:24:12
    big emotions both proactively and in the
  • 00:24:14
    moment
  • 00:24:15
    the good news is that it's much more
  • 00:24:18
    effective to apply apply strategies
  • 00:24:20
    before their dimmer switch is on Full
  • 00:24:23
    when this happens
  • 00:24:25
    um their brain is overloaded and they
  • 00:24:27
    flip their lid if if you're familiar
  • 00:24:29
    with Dan Siegel's hand model of the
  • 00:24:31
    brain if not you should check it out on
  • 00:24:33
    YouTube
  • 00:24:34
    they can't hear you or cross information
  • 00:24:36
    when they're overwhelmed and
  • 00:24:37
    disregulated
  • 00:24:38
    by teaching them to regulate their
  • 00:24:40
    emotions we give them the tools to
  • 00:24:42
    prevent some of the more intense
  • 00:24:43
    situations
  • 00:24:45
    the bad news is that doing it
  • 00:24:47
    independently requires a fairly
  • 00:24:49
    developed free prefrontal cortex that
  • 00:24:51
    can support Advanced executive functions
  • 00:24:55
    on a basic level the emotional
  • 00:24:57
    regulation requires response inhibition
  • 00:24:59
    emotional control flexibility and stress
  • 00:25:02
    tolerance however as we look to
  • 00:25:05
    strengthen our regulation and become
  • 00:25:06
    more proactive we need more advanced
  • 00:25:09
    skills
  • 00:25:10
    the most powerful emotional Regulators
  • 00:25:13
    are aware of states of their emotions
  • 00:25:15
    and nervous system and can tolerate the
  • 00:25:17
    stress of this while they sort out the
  • 00:25:19
    situation that adds stress tolerance and
  • 00:25:21
    metacognition to the list in the moment
  • 00:25:24
    powerful Regulators can assess the
  • 00:25:26
    situation take other perspectives as
  • 00:25:28
    needed they can slow their responses
  • 00:25:30
    down and delay their reactions which
  • 00:25:33
    gives them time to think about the most
  • 00:25:35
    important part of the situation and
  • 00:25:37
    evaluate ways of responding they have
  • 00:25:40
    strategies to settle their bodies and
  • 00:25:42
    soothe their emotions they can choose
  • 00:25:44
    from a menu of familiar responses that
  • 00:25:46
    help them solve the problem to their
  • 00:25:48
    satisfaction reaching their goal
  • 00:25:50
    we could probably add in the remaining
  • 00:25:52
    skills but let's just stop there and
  • 00:25:54
    consider the age of the child or
  • 00:25:56
    teenager that we're expecting to do this
  • 00:25:58
    and their skill level
  • 00:26:00
    in fact when was the last time you
  • 00:26:02
    struggled with the situation and how
  • 00:26:04
    successful were you managing so that
  • 00:26:07
    brings us back to co-regulation again
  • 00:26:09
    this is how we support model and teach
  • 00:26:12
    regulation the next stop is creating
  • 00:26:14
    protocols for fixing our mistakes the
  • 00:26:17
    other element of creating predictability
  • 00:26:18
    at school and at home is having a
  • 00:26:20
    structure for repairing relationships
  • 00:26:22
    and mistakes knowing that there will be
  • 00:26:24
    some sort of resolution or closure to
  • 00:26:26
    distressing events helps children feel
  • 00:26:28
    safe these are the executive skills
  • 00:26:30
    involved in apologizing I may have
  • 00:26:32
    gotten carried away but I don't think so
  • 00:26:34
    when mistakes are made guilt shame and
  • 00:26:37
    feeling a lack of control can contribute
  • 00:26:39
    to a disempowering spiral for pretty
  • 00:26:41
    much everyone involved
  • 00:26:43
    this is especially true when the same
  • 00:26:46
    mistake is repeated over and over again
  • 00:26:48
    which happens if we have have challenges
  • 00:26:52
    with executive skills whatever we can do
  • 00:26:55
    as co-regulators to interrupt this
  • 00:26:57
    spiral can only be helpful
  • 00:27:00
    you can't apologize for what you did if
  • 00:27:02
    you don't know what you did
  • 00:27:04
    stress tolerance and emotional control
  • 00:27:06
    allow you the space which helps you to
  • 00:27:08
    regulate so that you can access your
  • 00:27:10
    prefrontal cortex
  • 00:27:12
    working memory and metacognition allow
  • 00:27:14
    you to think about what you did both
  • 00:27:16
    apologies and restitution require
  • 00:27:17
    empathy I love this quotation from a
  • 00:27:20
    2020 research article
  • 00:27:22
    feeling empathy for someone means
  • 00:27:24
    understanding his or her emotions I'm
  • 00:27:26
    personally experiencing the same it
  • 00:27:28
    means creating a customized space in
  • 00:27:30
    one's own inner world to host the World
  • 00:27:32
    of another in other words it refused it
  • 00:27:35
    refers to the ability to share and
  • 00:27:36
    comprehend another person's thoughts and
  • 00:27:38
    moods if a toddler hits another toddler
  • 00:27:41
    the adult might model empathy
  • 00:27:43
    metacognition and flexibility oh look
  • 00:27:46
    you hit him and ouch now he's hurt and
  • 00:27:49
    crying the second part of repairing a
  • 00:27:52
    problem is restitution or making amends
  • 00:27:55
    taking this kind of action can avoid or
  • 00:27:57
    reduce the power of the Spiral this
  • 00:27:59
    might look like after hitting someone
  • 00:28:01
    you offer an ice pack or if you said
  • 00:28:03
    hurtful things you could try redo can I
  • 00:28:06
    try that again in a Kinder way
  • 00:28:08
    um of course this last one will require
  • 00:28:09
    support if your child's not yet
  • 00:28:11
    developed executive skills such as
  • 00:28:13
    flexibility or emotional control not to
  • 00:28:16
    mention the generosity on the part of
  • 00:28:18
    the other person in order to make amends
  • 00:28:20
    we need to unpack what happened and why
  • 00:28:22
    restitution is often the result of a
  • 00:28:24
    debrief of some sort with the child or
  • 00:28:26
    teen
  • 00:28:27
    debriefs require an emotionally
  • 00:28:29
    regulated adult who can remain objective
  • 00:28:31
    it's easy to slip into judgment and say
  • 00:28:34
    things like you made a bad choice or
  • 00:28:36
    what will you do next time to make a
  • 00:28:38
    good choice this has the same
  • 00:28:40
    implication by the way which the child
  • 00:28:42
    understands on some level probably a
  • 00:28:45
    personal one
  • 00:28:46
    what if we said hmm when you hit your
  • 00:28:49
    friend it hurt them and they cried next
  • 00:28:51
    time they take your toy what could you
  • 00:28:53
    say or do
  • 00:28:56
    restitution can be done in a few seconds
  • 00:28:58
    right after the contract a conflict
  • 00:29:00
    however with more intense situations
  • 00:29:03
    people need time to calm down the next
  • 00:29:05
    stop is setting up transitions to reduce
  • 00:29:07
    the reduced stress transitions also
  • 00:29:10
    support predictability at school and at
  • 00:29:11
    home they can be a challenge for all
  • 00:29:13
    children as their executive skills
  • 00:29:15
    developed so to support transitions we
  • 00:29:18
    can make them expect it ask them or talk
  • 00:29:22
    with them about how they can help you
  • 00:29:24
    and do their job as part of the their
  • 00:29:26
    job in part of the transition
  • 00:29:29
    you could use the first then schedule or
  • 00:29:31
    send timers
  • 00:29:33
    we can also help them Mark Time by
  • 00:29:36
    giving them a five minute warning lots
  • 00:29:37
    of people do this but some kids will
  • 00:29:40
    need a 10 minute warning as well make
  • 00:29:42
    sure you hear that they hear you and ask
  • 00:29:43
    them to confirm verbally or with a
  • 00:29:45
    thumbs up maybe
  • 00:29:46
    or you could use a timer visual timers
  • 00:29:50
    are great for children who can read who
  • 00:29:51
    can't read a Glock or who lose track of
  • 00:29:54
    time because you can't you can't see
  • 00:29:56
    time as it passes
  • 00:29:58
    maybe you want to play Beat the timer or
  • 00:30:00
    use a song to help kids understand how
  • 00:30:02
    much time they have
  • 00:30:04
    for older students you can use Sarah
  • 00:30:05
    Awards working block the last thing we
  • 00:30:07
    can do is manage our own frustration and
  • 00:30:09
    anxiety so we can stick to the plan and
  • 00:30:11
    co-regulate as needed transitions are
  • 00:30:14
    already anxiety-inducing so adding adult
  • 00:30:16
    stress into the equation only makes
  • 00:30:18
    things worse our next stop is creating
  • 00:30:20
    rituals and routines rituals and
  • 00:30:22
    routines also help build predictability
  • 00:30:24
    these are some rituals that you might
  • 00:30:26
    have at home or at school
  • 00:30:28
    a ritual is a consistent sequence of
  • 00:30:30
    actions or gestures that have a deeper
  • 00:30:32
    meaning for the person doing them and
  • 00:30:34
    they often teach values
  • 00:30:36
    interestingly sometimes these actions
  • 00:30:38
    have no purpose in themselves aside from
  • 00:30:40
    the meaning we give them Olympic karate
  • 00:30:43
    competitor Ariel Torres wore his lucky
  • 00:30:45
    underwear to win the first U.S medal in
  • 00:30:48
    manscata at the Tokyo Olympics in 2020.
  • 00:30:50
    the thing is doing a ritual action feels
  • 00:30:53
    at a neurological level like we're
  • 00:30:55
    exerting self-control it feels like
  • 00:30:58
    we're doing something in a situation in
  • 00:31:00
    which we might not feel like we have a
  • 00:31:01
    lot of power so rituals provide us with
  • 00:31:04
    provide us with a sense of agency and
  • 00:31:06
    build our confidence many rituals are
  • 00:31:08
    also social in nature which helps us to
  • 00:31:11
    connect with others and we know that is
  • 00:31:13
    regulating
  • 00:31:15
    there are too many routines to mention
  • 00:31:17
    when I started thinking about it so I
  • 00:31:20
    wanted to focus on end of the day
  • 00:31:21
    routines I made up two possible routines
  • 00:31:24
    here
  • 00:31:25
    and think about your own routines at
  • 00:31:27
    school and at home as I go through them
  • 00:31:30
    the first thing I wanted to mention is
  • 00:31:31
    how many transitions there are eight in
  • 00:31:34
    the home example on the left and seven
  • 00:31:36
    in the school example on the right
  • 00:31:38
    the impact is increased if you have to
  • 00:31:40
    go to a different location or you have
  • 00:31:42
    to meet a timeline like bedtime for
  • 00:31:44
    example
  • 00:31:45
    and it's important to note that some
  • 00:31:48
    routines are hard to follow on a bad day
  • 00:31:49
    so you might you might end up with a
  • 00:31:52
    plan with a plan b day at that point
  • 00:31:55
    things
  • 00:31:57
    um to support transitions would be
  • 00:31:58
    checklists calendar schedules visual
  • 00:32:00
    schedules
  • 00:32:02
    um you can also do the same at school or
  • 00:32:05
    at home for chores
  • 00:32:07
    do you have uh tourist chores list or
  • 00:32:09
    checklist if they have chores and
  • 00:32:11
    homework how do you balance those are
  • 00:32:13
    they both a Battleground
  • 00:32:15
    um if so can you change it up in some
  • 00:32:16
    way by using routines
  • 00:32:19
    and then the last question is how are
  • 00:32:21
    you functioning at this time of day
  • 00:32:22
    you're the co-regulator so what do you
  • 00:32:24
    need to do to support yourself the next
  • 00:32:26
    stop is using the power of visuals so
  • 00:32:31
    um Dr Ruckel Ruckel sorry Dr Russell
  • 00:32:34
    Barkley recommends providing point of
  • 00:32:37
    performance supports the best point of
  • 00:32:39
    performance support I can think of are
  • 00:32:41
    visuals I've added the photo of a
  • 00:32:43
    classroom schedule for the day as well
  • 00:32:45
    as a photo of my front door
  • 00:32:48
    um my boys are now young men so I borrow
  • 00:32:49
    this visual reminder from a friend whose
  • 00:32:51
    child is nine and can read even though
  • 00:32:54
    he can read he added little icons for
  • 00:32:55
    faster reference the last stop on this
  • 00:32:58
    road to predictable predictability is
  • 00:33:00
    communication between school and home
  • 00:33:02
    having a supportive team behind them
  • 00:33:03
    makes students feel more empowered
  • 00:33:05
    common purpose and communication are the
  • 00:33:08
    glue that holds a team together
  • 00:33:09
    communication requires time teachers and
  • 00:33:12
    parents are busy people so building
  • 00:33:14
    routine for communication can streamline
  • 00:33:16
    it I've seen some creative communication
  • 00:33:18
    Solutions and these are a few of the
  • 00:33:21
    options that I've listed I can only
  • 00:33:24
    recommend that you find something that
  • 00:33:25
    works for both home and school okay so
  • 00:33:28
    we made it down the road to
  • 00:33:29
    predictability but this is only a rest
  • 00:33:31
    stop I have to put Demi's in there
  • 00:33:33
    because I'm Canadian before we finish
  • 00:33:35
    our journey to supporting emotional
  • 00:33:37
    regulation we need to support a sense of
  • 00:33:39
    agency in our children or students
  • 00:33:41
    agency is a feeling of one's power or
  • 00:33:43
    control increasing children and students
  • 00:33:46
    agency lets them know that we trust them
  • 00:33:48
    and we believe that they're working
  • 00:33:50
    their way toward Independence however
  • 00:33:52
    far along they are right now a
  • 00:33:54
    two-year-old might say me do it as they
  • 00:33:56
    wrestle for a sense of agency in much
  • 00:33:58
    the same way as we watch while they put
  • 00:34:00
    on their hat crookedly we encourage our
  • 00:34:03
    older children and students to do what
  • 00:34:04
    they can do and with some trepidation
  • 00:34:06
    support our teens as they get their
  • 00:34:09
    first job or learn to drive
  • 00:34:10
    it takes an intentional commitment to
  • 00:34:12
    set up the structures and space for
  • 00:34:14
    student agency as an adult you can
  • 00:34:16
    sometimes feel like an act of Courage on
  • 00:34:18
    our own part at school we can nurture
  • 00:34:22
    agency by giving students voice autonomy
  • 00:34:24
    praise and trust and by using
  • 00:34:27
    student-centered learning helping people
  • 00:34:29
    with executive skilled challenges
  • 00:34:30
    regulate their bodies starts with common
  • 00:34:32
    sense it's the same for everyone right
  • 00:34:34
    good diet exercise sleep hygiene and
  • 00:34:38
    mental health piece of cake well only if
  • 00:34:42
    you have all 12 skills and even then
  • 00:34:43
    that's debatable but we don't expect our
  • 00:34:46
    elementary age children to be
  • 00:34:48
    independent yet so how do we support
  • 00:34:50
    them on the road to Independence
  • 00:34:52
    teaching healthy habits and the science
  • 00:34:54
    behind them will help them develop
  • 00:34:55
    fluency to talk about their health
  • 00:34:57
    however when you have executive skill
  • 00:35:00
    challenges you'll likely have difficulty
  • 00:35:02
    with few a few or many of the daily
  • 00:35:04
    tasks people with ADHD say that the
  • 00:35:07
    following things can interfere
  • 00:35:09
    overwhelming stress
  • 00:35:11
    including burnout for older students and
  • 00:35:13
    young adults task initiation
  • 00:35:16
    organization sensory issues difficulty
  • 00:35:20
    taking perspective that's where
  • 00:35:22
    deodorant might come in shifting tasks
  • 00:35:25
    which is Transitions and impulse control
  • 00:35:27
    that might lead to sugary Foods
  • 00:35:30
    and then there are the challenges of
  • 00:35:32
    sleep sometimes this can be alleviated
  • 00:35:34
    by tweaking medication however three out
  • 00:35:37
    of four people with ADHD have sleep
  • 00:35:39
    problems and some even have Sleep
  • 00:35:41
    Disorders it's way more difficult to
  • 00:35:44
    regulate your emotions when you're tired
  • 00:35:47
    hyperactivity is another factor to
  • 00:35:49
    consider with physical regulation
  • 00:35:52
    all children need to figure out how to
  • 00:35:54
    use up their extra energy so that it
  • 00:35:56
    doesn't get them in trouble with their
  • 00:35:57
    parents and their peers and so they can
  • 00:35:59
    settle their bodies into sleep at night
  • 00:36:02
    this becomes even more important for
  • 00:36:04
    those with hyperactivity at school we
  • 00:36:07
    make our learning more student-centered
  • 00:36:08
    Hands-On and just generally more active
  • 00:36:11
    and breaks are another way to use up
  • 00:36:13
    extra energy to power down or reset
  • 00:36:17
    but the end goal is for students to be
  • 00:36:19
    aware of their own state of physical
  • 00:36:20
    regulation and then choose strategies
  • 00:36:22
    that help them adjust to energy
  • 00:36:24
    their energy level to the situation my
  • 00:36:26
    co-author Jen Palmer and I call this the
  • 00:36:29
    two-step reset it kind of sounds like a
  • 00:36:31
    dance this process gives everyone a
  • 00:36:33
    chance to move together in a physical
  • 00:36:35
    activity and then connect to reconnect
  • 00:36:37
    to the previous or new activity and we
  • 00:36:40
    teach this practice explicitly if we
  • 00:36:43
    have young children listening to a story
  • 00:36:44
    we might follow the story with an action
  • 00:36:46
    song and then a column response activity
  • 00:36:49
    before moving on to the next activity
  • 00:36:51
    kindergarten teachers are masters of
  • 00:36:53
    this and it also works with older
  • 00:36:55
    students maybe it looks like a lap
  • 00:36:57
    around the field and then a partner chat
  • 00:36:59
    mental health is the fifth key it's
  • 00:37:01
    directly linked to physical health
  • 00:37:02
    mindfulness is gaining popularity in
  • 00:37:05
    schools as a strategy for emotional and
  • 00:37:07
    physical regulation
  • 00:37:08
    it's very important to recognize that
  • 00:37:10
    your students may not all be ready or
  • 00:37:13
    willing to take part in the same
  • 00:37:15
    mindfulness activities
  • 00:37:17
    some students will need to develop their
  • 00:37:19
    regulation skills first
  • 00:37:20
    so we can do this by working on mindful
  • 00:37:23
    Readiness activities
  • 00:37:25
    um I meant to have those ready for the
  • 00:37:26
    handle but I don't so I will put a list
  • 00:37:29
    up on my website after you can encourage
  • 00:37:32
    students to think flexibly during a
  • 00:37:34
    mindfulness activity so if some are
  • 00:37:37
    doing mindful Readiness activities
  • 00:37:39
    they're still part of the same mindful
  • 00:37:41
    experience so thinking proactively we
  • 00:37:44
    can support many executive skills in the
  • 00:37:45
    environment and I had provided also a
  • 00:37:48
    handout about ways that things to think
  • 00:37:51
    about when you're setting up a classroom
  • 00:37:55
    if you have one but you can think about
  • 00:37:57
    the same things at home you can organize
  • 00:37:59
    your areas by function work materials
  • 00:38:02
    for play toys and Equipment common areas
  • 00:38:05
    and so on and then you can create norms
  • 00:38:08
    for maintaining these spaces and that
  • 00:38:10
    would help build community and set up
  • 00:38:12
    effective learning spaces
  • 00:38:14
    and there are many blogs and workshops
  • 00:38:16
    about setting up your classroom or home
  • 00:38:18
    however one of my favorite people on
  • 00:38:20
    that topic is Sarah Ward in particular I
  • 00:38:23
    enjoyed her conversation about physical
  • 00:38:24
    Pathways in the classroom which is
  • 00:38:27
    probably one of the last things we think
  • 00:38:28
    about when we're making a setting up a
  • 00:38:30
    class last one one of the ways to learn
  • 00:38:33
    about emotional and physical regulation
  • 00:38:36
    is to explicitly teach brain science and
  • 00:38:38
    how our nervous system works
  • 00:38:40
    so for adults learning about executive
  • 00:38:43
    function have a look at some of these
  • 00:38:45
    um resources smart but scattered Again
  • 00:38:48
    by Dawson Greer and the smart scattered
  • 00:38:51
    teams castle.org teaches social
  • 00:38:53
    emotional learning they're really good
  • 00:38:55
    resource mindful Educators and mindful
  • 00:38:57
    schools
  • 00:38:59
    learning about polyvagal theories always
  • 00:39:01
    helpful because it talks about nervous
  • 00:39:03
    systems the regulatedclassroom.com is a
  • 00:39:06
    good one if your teacher and
  • 00:39:09
    smilingmind.com.edu is an Australian
  • 00:39:11
    website they have some good mental
  • 00:39:13
    health and good mindfulness activities
  • 00:39:16
    for families and it's free as well
  • 00:39:19
    and then first for children or teens
  • 00:39:22
    Castle's got some good recommendations
  • 00:39:24
    as well and then there's something
  • 00:39:26
    called EFS to the rescue.com they have
  • 00:39:29
    lessons and mindful schools also has 10
  • 00:39:31
    free lessons for kids
  • 00:39:33
    books if your teacher executive function
  • 00:39:35
    skills in the classroom it's a good a
  • 00:39:37
    good place to start and children's
  • 00:39:40
    fiction books there's lots of fun
  • 00:39:42
    picture books that you can even use for
  • 00:39:44
    older older kids just because they're
  • 00:39:47
    fun and also there's a YouTube channel
  • 00:39:50
    so how to ADHD is one of them and then
  • 00:39:52
    there's one specifically for team called
  • 00:39:54
    team Changers and that's set up by a
  • 00:39:57
    middle school teacher
  • 00:40:01
    uh this person asks I was wondering what
  • 00:40:03
    you recommend as kids get older like
  • 00:40:05
    high school age when you're no longer
  • 00:40:08
    able to regulate or schedule them as
  • 00:40:10
    they're more independent
  • 00:40:12
    some of what worked for younger kids is
  • 00:40:14
    no longer working when they are in
  • 00:40:16
    charge of their own lives
  • 00:40:18
    yes so I have a 28 year old right now
  • 00:40:21
    who's
  • 00:40:22
    um
  • 00:40:23
    still struggling with some of his um
  • 00:40:26
    executive skills and um my I hear you
  • 00:40:30
    it's what I first thing I have to say
  • 00:40:33
    um it kind of depends if if you're
  • 00:40:37
    specifically talking about regulation as
  • 00:40:39
    in
  • 00:40:40
    hyperactivity or I mean there are just
  • 00:40:42
    so many kinds is it which skill is is um
  • 00:40:46
    is the one is it responds uh response in
  • 00:40:50
    the inhibition can they are they having
  • 00:40:51
    trouble controlling what they do or
  • 00:40:55
    um is it task initiation sometimes as
  • 00:40:57
    kids get older we have they have more
  • 00:40:59
    responsibilities so task initiation then
  • 00:41:02
    they kind of get bogged down with the
  • 00:41:04
    things that they're supposed to be doing
  • 00:41:05
    now that they're all there then there's
  • 00:41:07
    you know supposed to be doing I don't
  • 00:41:09
    know more chores or care for their
  • 00:41:12
    younger siblings or maybe even just more
  • 00:41:14
    homework
  • 00:41:16
    um I'm not sure I'm answering that
  • 00:41:18
    question well but
  • 00:41:20
    this this is part of the issue is you
  • 00:41:23
    almost have to be a detective to figure
  • 00:41:24
    out where where the um
  • 00:41:27
    which skill is it and and often it's
  • 00:41:30
    more than one so
  • 00:41:32
    that's very true you do have to kind of
  • 00:41:35
    be a detective and
  • 00:41:37
    try to figure out what those what those
  • 00:41:39
    things are that's driving the behavior
  • 00:41:42
    the result
  • 00:41:43
    you know
  • 00:41:45
    um this person says uh just now in the
  • 00:41:49
    list of books and resources there was
  • 00:41:51
    one on poly vagal Theory and they've
  • 00:41:54
    heard of that but oh no I'm sorry
  • 00:41:56
    they've never heard of that could you
  • 00:41:58
    briefly explained
  • 00:42:00
    I know
  • 00:42:02
    however I can't actually I do a whole
  • 00:42:05
    three hour workshop on that but
  • 00:42:08
    um but basically it's a different way of
  • 00:42:10
    looking at our
  • 00:42:11
    um our nervous system and
  • 00:42:15
    um oh my gosh I don't even know if I
  • 00:42:17
    could say it in uh it's uh it there is a
  • 00:42:21
    really good
  • 00:42:23
    um video by we can Beacon I think it
  • 00:42:26
    speaking Beacon Hill Beacon Beacon
  • 00:42:29
    something they're a UK organization if
  • 00:42:31
    you search them on YouTube they have a
  • 00:42:33
    really good uh video It's called
  • 00:42:36
    um oh dear now I can't remember of
  • 00:42:39
    course but we can send it in the email
  • 00:42:42
    like we can get yeah it's a 12 minute
  • 00:42:45
    video but it's really worth watching
  • 00:42:47
    okay all right well we'll add that as a
  • 00:42:49
    resource when we send out the recording
  • 00:42:53
    um the next question is how can you
  • 00:42:55
    model or teach self-advocacy in a school
  • 00:42:58
    setting for high school students that
  • 00:43:01
    need support
  • 00:43:03
    uh that's such a tough one
  • 00:43:06
    um
  • 00:43:07
    so I have stopped with quite a few
  • 00:43:11
    middle middle well I sit mostly with uh
  • 00:43:13
    like grade six seven kids but
  • 00:43:17
    self-advis self-advocacy they're just so
  • 00:43:19
    many parts of it so one of the things
  • 00:43:21
    that first comes to mind is
  • 00:43:23
    um you need to have the social skills to
  • 00:43:25
    be able to ask for something
  • 00:43:28
    um
  • 00:43:29
    in some sort of constructive way and
  • 00:43:32
    then you also need to to actually task
  • 00:43:34
    initiate in order to do that
  • 00:43:36
    um so many kids realize when they get
  • 00:43:39
    home that they should have been asking
  • 00:43:40
    for something if it's uh
  • 00:43:43
    um self-advocacy like you want more time
  • 00:43:46
    on an exam or you need want to do a redo
  • 00:43:48
    of a homework assignment then that's
  • 00:43:51
    um trying to
  • 00:43:52
    uh then you would be having
  • 00:43:54
    conversations with your teachers so so
  • 00:43:57
    you could help someone with that by
  • 00:43:58
    rehearsing conversations practicing how
  • 00:44:01
    you would word it
  • 00:44:02
    um and maybe even just brainstorming
  • 00:44:05
    some of the kinds of things that would
  • 00:44:07
    be helpful for them for like the two
  • 00:44:09
    examples I gave um
  • 00:44:11
    and and then there's the challenge of
  • 00:44:14
    when you do ask to redo that assignment
  • 00:44:17
    um what happens when the teacher says no
  • 00:44:18
    sometimes they don't sometimes they do
  • 00:44:21
    so it's self-advocacy is challenging
  • 00:44:25
    because
  • 00:44:26
    um sometimes we're we are empowering
  • 00:44:29
    that and sometimes we're not and people
  • 00:44:31
    have their reasons for say no sometimes
  • 00:44:34
    so
  • 00:44:35
    yeah I think role playing is probably
  • 00:44:37
    one of the best ways but also maybe
  • 00:44:39
    writing lists of even things that are
  • 00:44:42
    options for them sometimes kids don't
  • 00:44:44
    know what they what accommodations or
  • 00:44:48
    what might be helpful for them
  • 00:44:51
    thank you
  • 00:44:53
    um that kind of um segues into this next
  • 00:44:55
    question that
  • 00:44:57
    um this person has a child with an
  • 00:44:59
    attentive ADHD and it's harder to know
  • 00:45:03
    what is happening in their child's mind
  • 00:45:07
    um so that what you were just talking
  • 00:45:10
    about do you have any recommendations to
  • 00:45:12
    help them communicate their feelings
  • 00:45:15
    so teaching them those Communications
  • 00:45:17
    yeah so
  • 00:45:20
    um so someone very close to me has that
  • 00:45:24
    um difficulty and
  • 00:45:26
    I think in high school one of the most
  • 00:45:29
    useful things later he told me was
  • 00:45:33
    learning what his executive skills were
  • 00:45:35
    so
  • 00:45:36
    I guess when you're talking about that
  • 00:45:39
    then
  • 00:45:40
    um
  • 00:45:41
    because communicating your feelings
  • 00:45:43
    that's complicated on so many levels
  • 00:45:45
    right so
  • 00:45:47
    um I mean creating a safe place is
  • 00:45:48
    really important but it may be it's a
  • 00:45:51
    maybe it's a task initiation thing maybe
  • 00:45:54
    it's just hard for them to remember to
  • 00:45:56
    talk to you about their feelings because
  • 00:45:57
    they're so busy with other things or
  • 00:45:59
    maybe
  • 00:46:01
    um they're just like every child
  • 00:46:03
    embarrassed or don't know where to start
  • 00:46:05
    so modeling talking about your feelings
  • 00:46:07
    would be helpful
  • 00:46:09
    um you know I've had the current teacher
  • 00:46:12
    say oh
  • 00:46:12
    Mrs so-and-so is not very happy right
  • 00:46:15
    now and so she's gonna go over here and
  • 00:46:18
    take a few deep breaths
  • 00:46:20
    but you know I mean
  • 00:46:22
    um Molly's probably one of the best ways
  • 00:46:24
    actually now that I think about it
  • 00:46:27
    yes that's that's a great suggestion
  • 00:46:31
    um just showing that you also struggle
  • 00:46:34
    with things regular you know on a
  • 00:46:36
    regular basis any one of us and just
  • 00:46:38
    communicating that verbally
  • 00:46:40
    um is very helpful to model I do have
  • 00:46:43
    one other thing and that is maybe
  • 00:46:44
    labeling the feelings for them but not
  • 00:46:47
    as a like you are feeling this but oh
  • 00:46:50
    your face looks
  • 00:46:52
    um a little bit scrunched up I wonder if
  • 00:46:54
    you're feeling
  • 00:46:55
    frustrated or
  • 00:46:58
    um or or you're you're breathing a
  • 00:47:02
    little bit more quickly I wonder if
  • 00:47:04
    you're feeling anxious or stressed so
  • 00:47:06
    sometimes labeling helps them too
  • 00:47:09
    yes that um also uh piggybacks on
  • 00:47:12
    another question that's very similar
  • 00:47:15
    um and I think that advice matches so
  • 00:47:17
    for this parent that says their
  • 00:47:19
    nine-year-old has really big emotions
  • 00:47:21
    when things don't go his way or when
  • 00:47:23
    something is irritating do you have any
  • 00:47:25
    tips with dealing with and helping him
  • 00:47:27
    through those times like this
  • 00:47:29
    so labeling is also a good strategy for
  • 00:47:33
    that do you have any other suggestions
  • 00:47:35
    well so the the the most effective one
  • 00:47:39
    always is to head it off and to be
  • 00:47:41
    proactive
  • 00:47:43
    um and maybe just talk to them about wow
  • 00:47:45
    you know
  • 00:47:46
    um well maybe wow it's not the best word
  • 00:47:49
    actually but oh you know last time the
  • 00:47:51
    same thing happened
  • 00:47:53
    um but speaking at it kind of in a
  • 00:47:55
    curious way I wonder I wonder what's
  • 00:47:57
    going on and I wonder what might make
  • 00:48:00
    this better for you when this happens
  • 00:48:02
    again
  • 00:48:03
    um sort of recognizing patterns because
  • 00:48:05
    I mean things don't always happen in
  • 00:48:08
    patterns but that's one of the easiest
  • 00:48:10
    ways to be proactive if something isn't
  • 00:48:13
    about is uh happening over and over
  • 00:48:15
    again
  • 00:48:17
    um and then brainstorming strategies or
  • 00:48:20
    it's really hard sometimes these things
  • 00:48:22
    are not within kids control it's things
  • 00:48:24
    that other kids are doing so then you
  • 00:48:27
    know maybe they need to ask for help it
  • 00:48:29
    depends I think you said nine right
  • 00:48:32
    yeah so who's the supervisor there
  • 00:48:35
    because
  • 00:48:36
    um that would be the person that they go
  • 00:48:37
    to for help and then you can talk to
  • 00:48:40
    them about
  • 00:48:40
    when would you ask him some kids go from
  • 00:48:43
    0 to 60 like so fast that there's no pre
  • 00:48:47
    and proactive which is why I kind of go
  • 00:48:49
    back to like before the situation can
  • 00:48:51
    you identify which ones would be
  • 00:48:52
    challenging
  • 00:48:54
    thank you okay Switching gears um this
  • 00:48:58
    person asks
  • 00:49:00
    um you spoke about can't versus won't
  • 00:49:04
    can you elaborate on how to handle
  • 00:49:06
    situations like this you mentioned that
  • 00:49:08
    some adults say they don't know and will
  • 00:49:12
    ask are you suggesting that we should
  • 00:49:14
    ask the child
  • 00:49:17
    ah
  • 00:49:19
    well okay so I live can't versus won't
  • 00:49:22
    so I can totally uh empathize there
  • 00:49:27
    um
  • 00:49:31
    I sometimes a child doesn't or or
  • 00:49:34
    teenager or young adult doesn't realize
  • 00:49:36
    that they can't they actually think that
  • 00:49:39
    they they themselves are lazy if they
  • 00:49:41
    aren't doing something for example
  • 00:49:44
    um
  • 00:49:45
    So it's talking to them about what skill
  • 00:49:48
    is that and and and do they have
  • 00:49:50
    challenges with that skill yeah so I
  • 00:49:53
    guess first of all checking to make sure
  • 00:49:54
    that that the uh child teen or young
  • 00:49:58
    adult understands what it is that
  • 00:50:00
    they're trying to do and then you can
  • 00:50:03
    work with them to figure out is this
  • 00:50:04
    account or it won't it might be it might
  • 00:50:07
    look like a won't so uh an example would
  • 00:50:11
    be a young adult that I know is
  • 00:50:13
    um you know late for work in fact some
  • 00:50:16
    days a no-show so the reason is uh he's
  • 00:50:20
    got his shoes on he's got his keys
  • 00:50:23
    uh but now
  • 00:50:24
    um he in fact one
  • 00:50:27
    um now there's no lunch there's not the
  • 00:50:29
    right kind of bread or whatever it is so
  • 00:50:31
    is that a count or a won't well you know
  • 00:50:34
    you might think we'll just get another
  • 00:50:35
    lunch but if you have if you're
  • 00:50:37
    inflexible that's not an option so now
  • 00:50:40
    you can't go to work
  • 00:50:43
    so there's
  • 00:50:44
    um that kind of digging again that
  • 00:50:48
    detective work to figure out
  • 00:50:50
    everybody not everybody shouldn't say
  • 00:50:53
    that but so many people assume that
  • 00:50:54
    they're they're just they just won't do
  • 00:50:57
    it
  • 00:50:58
    thank you we have time for one more
  • 00:51:01
    question
  • 00:51:02
    um everybody who is asking questions
  • 00:51:04
    that we're not able to get to tonight
  • 00:51:06
    live
  • 00:51:08
    um don't worry we will get them answered
  • 00:51:10
    for you
  • 00:51:12
    um but uh this uh last question before
  • 00:51:15
    we close out for this evening is
  • 00:51:18
    uh what do you do when they're having
  • 00:51:21
    difficulty learning a skill my son has
  • 00:51:24
    an issue with losing or not doing well
  • 00:51:26
    on a test compared to peers he has
  • 00:51:30
    difficulty with response inhibition as
  • 00:51:32
    you mentioned he's 10 now and we've been
  • 00:51:35
    working on it for years already
  • 00:51:39
    okay so the first question is can he do
  • 00:51:41
    the test is it at his level
  • 00:51:44
    um if it is
  • 00:51:46
    then
  • 00:51:48
    um is it every test that he's not doing
  • 00:51:50
    well on or is he really upset because
  • 00:51:53
    he's didn't get a hundred percent so
  • 00:51:55
    sounds like it's probably he's probably
  • 00:51:57
    struggling with the material at school
  • 00:51:59
    so that's worth looking at from an
  • 00:52:01
    educational point of view
  • 00:52:03
    um and then if that's the case
  • 00:52:06
    um what can you put in place so either
  • 00:52:09
    accommodations or
  • 00:52:11
    um maybe you need to investigate some
  • 00:52:13
    learning disability of some sort of
  • 00:52:15
    unless there's already one diagnosed and
  • 00:52:18
    then as far as understanding his peers
  • 00:52:21
    really that's that's I don't have any
  • 00:52:24
    easier answers for that one you just
  • 00:52:26
    really need to
  • 00:52:27
    to make it clear that everybody learns
  • 00:52:30
    differently and that I'm sure he's got
  • 00:52:34
    some strengths that other kids in his
  • 00:52:35
    class do not have right so I mean that's
  • 00:52:38
    sometimes seems the kids like a poor
  • 00:52:40
    compensation for something that really
  • 00:52:43
    they find embarrassing or frustrating
  • 00:52:45
    but
  • 00:52:46
    you know we really need to celebrate
  • 00:52:48
    what our kids are actually good at
  • 00:52:50
    as well
  • 00:52:52
    so
  • 00:52:53
    thank you for that
  • 00:52:56
    okay everybody is leaving some very
  • 00:52:58
    positive comments here they're very
  • 00:53:00
    grateful so thank you for your time and
  • 00:53:02
    thank you for answering everybody's
  • 00:53:04
    questions and sharing this information
  • 00:53:07
    um this evening
  • 00:53:08
    um and thank you to all of our attendees
  • 00:53:10
    we appreciate you being here
Tag
  • ADHD
  • Executive Skills
  • Co-regulation
  • Emotional Regulation
  • Education
  • Neurodiverse Learners
  • Inclusion
  • Felt Safety
  • Predictability
  • Self-regulation