The power of appreciation: Mike Robbins at TEDxBellevue

00:18:07
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3wX8nmvlZ0

摘要

TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the significance of appreciation in both personal and professional settings, drawing from his experiences as a former baseball player whose career ended abruptly due to injury. He reflects on how he failed to appreciate his baseball journey while pursuing success and how this lesson shaped his understanding of appreciation. The talk differentiates between recognition, which is performance-based, and appreciation, which focuses on valuing individuals. Through research and personal anecdotes, he illustrates how appreciation can enhance relationships and productivity, urging the audience to actively express appreciation in their lives.

心得

  • ⚾️ Important lessons learned from a sports career.
  • 💔 Realizing the value of what is often taken for granted.
  • 🏆 Distinction between recognition (performance) and appreciation (who we are).
  • 🤝 Appreciation boosts relationships and workplace dynamics.
  • 📊 Studies show people leave jobs due to lack of appreciation.
  • 🗓️ Create practices to express appreciation regularly.
  • 🙌 Accept compliments graciously to foster positive environments.
  • 💡 Look for appreciation opportunities daily.
  • ❤️ Sharing meaningful stories can strengthen bonds.
  • 🌍 The power of appreciation is universal, benefiting individuals and organizations alike.

时间轴

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker discusses the importance of appreciation derived from personal experiences after losing his baseball career. After being drafted by the New York Yankees and then by the Kansas City Royals, his career ended abruptly due to an arm injury. This led him to reflect on his life, and the only regret he had was not fully appreciating the journey while it was happening. He highlights the tendency of people to chase success while overlooking the present moments, a lesson learned painfully at a young age.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Transitioning into the business world, the speaker researched the impact of appreciation on relationships and productivity. He noted how appreciation differs from recognition; appreciation focuses on who a person is, while recognition is often tied to performance. He shares findings from studies showing that feeling valued increases productivity significantly more than mere recognition, emphasizing the need to appreciate the individual rather than just their results.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:18:07

    He illustrates appreciation with personal anecdotes, including a touching story about his mother. He recounts a surprise he arranged for her involving a story he wrote that was published in a book, which acknowledged her sacrifices. The emotional impact of this gift was profound for both him and his mother, showcasing how appreciation can take many forms and be a powerful gift in relationships. The overarching message is that taking time to express appreciation can transform connections and lead to personal fulfillment.

思维导图

视频问答

  • What is the main topic of the talk?

    The main topic is the power of appreciation.

  • What personal experience prompted the speaker's insights on appreciation?

    His professional baseball career ended due to an injury.

  • What does the speaker say about the difference between recognition and appreciation?

    Recognition is based on performance and results, while appreciation is about valuing people for who they are.

  • What study did the speaker mention regarding workplace appreciation?

    A study by the Department of Labor found that the lack of feeling appreciated was a key reason for leaving jobs.

  • What can be done to express appreciation more effectively?

    Look for opportunities to appreciate others, create practices for expressing appreciation, and receive compliments graciously.

查看更多视频摘要

即时访问由人工智能支持的免费 YouTube 视频摘要！
字幕
en
自动滚动:
  • 00:00:00
    [Music]
  • 00:00:08
    all right how many of you have ever had
  • 00:00:09
    something taken away from you in your
  • 00:00:10
    life only to realize how much you
  • 00:00:11
    appreciated it after it was
  • 00:00:14
    gone all of us right so my talk is
  • 00:00:17
    actually on the power of appreciation
  • 00:00:20
    and I
  • 00:00:21
    learned about appreciation in a pretty
  • 00:00:24
    significant way when something pretty
  • 00:00:25
    important got taken away from me and
  • 00:00:27
    that was actually my professional
  • 00:00:28
    baseball career
  • 00:00:31
    so I grew up playing
  • 00:00:33
    baseball and I was pretty good I got
  • 00:00:35
    drafted by the New York Yankees right
  • 00:00:36
    out of high school uh didn't end up
  • 00:00:38
    signing with the Yankees because I got
  • 00:00:40
    an opportunity to play baseball at
  • 00:00:41
    Stanford went to Stanford then I got
  • 00:00:43
    drafted by the Kansas City Royals
  • 00:00:46
    another pro baseball team and I did sign
  • 00:00:47
    a pro contract and as many of you know
  • 00:00:49
    the way it works in baseball you sign a
  • 00:00:50
    pro contract with a major league team
  • 00:00:52
    but then you go into their minor league
  • 00:00:53
    system and you have to work your way up
  • 00:00:55
    so that's what I did I went into the
  • 00:00:57
    Royals organization I was working my way
  • 00:00:58
    up I went out to pitch one night my
  • 00:00:59
    third season in the miners of Kansas
  • 00:01:01
    City I threw one pitch T ligaments in my
  • 00:01:04
    elbow blew my arm
  • 00:01:06
    out so just like that after starting
  • 00:01:09
    baseball when I was
  • 00:01:10
    seven my career
  • 00:01:13
    ended now as you can imagine I was
  • 00:01:16
    pretty devastated right I mean that had
  • 00:01:17
    been the focus of my life but when the
  • 00:01:20
    reality of the fact that my baseball
  • 00:01:21
    career was over finally set in I started
  • 00:01:23
    to ask myself some important questions
  • 00:01:24
    and one of the questions I asked myself
  • 00:01:25
    over and over again was did I have any
  • 00:01:28
    regrets
  • 00:01:30
    and you know it was interesting I didn't
  • 00:01:31
    regret a lot of the stuff that I thought
  • 00:01:32
    I would
  • 00:01:33
    have the only regret that I had was I
  • 00:01:35
    didn't fully appreciate it while it was
  • 00:01:37
    happening I was too busy trying to make
  • 00:01:40
    it you know I was this kid from Oakland
  • 00:01:42
    California raised by a single mom we
  • 00:01:44
    didn't have a lot of money I was going
  • 00:01:45
    to make it to the major
  • 00:01:47
    leagues I was going to be somebody but
  • 00:01:50
    up to that point in my life even though
  • 00:01:51
    I was pretty good I spent most of my
  • 00:01:53
    time thinking I wasn't good enough
  • 00:01:55
    comparing myself to everyone around me
  • 00:01:57
    and literally like holding my breath
  • 00:01:59
    hope that I didn't mess it up and when
  • 00:02:02
    it was all said and done and I hadn't
  • 00:02:03
    made it I thought to myself oops I think
  • 00:02:05
    I missed the point how many of you can
  • 00:02:08
    relate to this in your own
  • 00:02:09
    life right our stories may be different
  • 00:02:11
    our backgrounds may be different but so
  • 00:02:14
    many of us in our pursuit of success in
  • 00:02:16
    our Pursuit of Happiness in our pursuit
  • 00:02:17
    of our goals and dreams often times get
  • 00:02:20
    so focused on where we're
  • 00:02:22
    headed we forget to appreciate where we
  • 00:02:24
    are and for me it was a pretty painful
  • 00:02:27
    way to learn a really important lesson
  • 00:02:29
    at a relatively young age and after
  • 00:02:32
    baseball I ended up going to work for
  • 00:02:34
    startup company in San Francisco near
  • 00:02:36
    where I live and I was still trying to
  • 00:02:37
    kind of figure out myself but this
  • 00:02:38
    appreciation thing stuck with me and I
  • 00:02:41
    started to actually study it and look
  • 00:02:42
    into it both personally but I became
  • 00:02:44
    fascinated with the
  • 00:02:46
    idea of how appreciation impacted
  • 00:02:49
    relationships and teams because I saw as
  • 00:02:51
    I got into the business World there was
  • 00:02:52
    a team Dynamic that existed that was
  • 00:02:54
    similar to in sports and there was
  • 00:02:56
    something about when we were able to
  • 00:02:58
    appreciate each other and what we we
  • 00:02:59
    were doing that things seemed to work
  • 00:03:02
    and I started to study things like
  • 00:03:03
    positive psychology this was the late
  • 00:03:05
    90s and it was starting to get big and I
  • 00:03:06
    was studying emotional intelligence and
  • 00:03:08
    group dynamics and what I was Finding
  • 00:03:10
    was fascinating me so much so that I
  • 00:03:12
    actually quit my job and started to
  • 00:03:14
    focus on it fulltime ended up writing a
  • 00:03:17
    book my first book is called focus on
  • 00:03:18
    the good stuff which is all about
  • 00:03:20
    appreciation and over the last more than
  • 00:03:22
    a decade I've had the honor and the
  • 00:03:24
    opportunity to travel all around the
  • 00:03:25
    country and now around the world talking
  • 00:03:26
    about this simple concept of a
  • 00:03:29
    appreciation and I'm so honored and even
  • 00:03:32
    humbled that great companies like Google
  • 00:03:34
    and GAP and Wells Fargo and Adobe even
  • 00:03:38
    the San Francisco Giants will bring me
  • 00:03:39
    in to talk about this because what these
  • 00:03:41
    organizations and many others know
  • 00:03:43
    they're paying attention to the same
  • 00:03:45
    social psychology research that we all
  • 00:03:46
    are and what we're finding is that not
  • 00:03:48
    only does appreciation impact
  • 00:03:52
    relationships and how we feel about
  • 00:03:54
    ourselves but also our productivity you
  • 00:03:55
    know there was a study that I read when
  • 00:03:57
    I first started my work that really
  • 00:03:58
    impacted me it was a simple study but it
  • 00:04:00
    was profound by the Department of Labor
  • 00:04:01
    here in the US what they found was they
  • 00:04:02
    asked people who left their jobs why'd
  • 00:04:05
    you leave number one reason 64% of the
  • 00:04:08
    people in the survey said I left because
  • 00:04:09
    I didn't feel appreciated or valued it
  • 00:04:12
    it's more important than how much money
  • 00:04:13
    they made it was more important even
  • 00:04:14
    than the work they were doing it was
  • 00:04:16
    that sense of feeling valued that they
  • 00:04:18
    were
  • 00:04:20
    important and the people and the
  • 00:04:22
    organizations that understand this
  • 00:04:24
    Thrive but there's a simple distinction
  • 00:04:26
    that I've learned over the years of
  • 00:04:28
    doing this work and working with a lot
  • 00:04:29
    of different types of people both as it
  • 00:04:30
    relates to business but also in our
  • 00:04:32
    lives personally we got to understand
  • 00:04:33
    the distinction between recognition and
  • 00:04:36
    appreciation they're related but they're
  • 00:04:38
    not the same thing and we get them
  • 00:04:39
    confused all the time recognition here's
  • 00:04:42
    what recognition is it's positive
  • 00:04:43
    feedback based on results or performance
  • 00:04:45
    you produce a result you get recognized
  • 00:04:47
    now not all the time but and it's
  • 00:04:48
    motivating it feels good right when you
  • 00:04:50
    work hard you do something well someone
  • 00:04:51
    recognizes it it feels good as Tom Peter
  • 00:04:54
    says celebrate what you want to see more
  • 00:04:55
    of absolutely however recognition is
  • 00:04:58
    finite it's scar it's only based on our
  • 00:05:00
    performance and usually in an
  • 00:05:01
    organizational structure or in others
  • 00:05:03
    it's got to come from the top down for
  • 00:05:05
    it to really have weight and Merit
  • 00:05:07
    therefore it has a lot of limits
  • 00:05:08
    appreciation on the other hand much more
  • 00:05:10
    expansive it's more about people less
  • 00:05:12
    about what they do more about who they
  • 00:05:14
    are the best way I know to describe this
  • 00:05:16
    distinction is an example from my
  • 00:05:17
    baseball career so now whether you're a
  • 00:05:18
    baseball fan or not I was a pitcher do
  • 00:05:20
    you know what happens to the pitcher in
  • 00:05:21
    the baseball game when the pitcher
  • 00:05:22
    doesn't do well you know what happens
  • 00:05:25
    yeah they stop the game right and in
  • 00:05:27
    front of everybody the manager walks out
  • 00:05:29
    to the mound and literally takes the
  • 00:05:31
    ball out of your hand and makes you
  • 00:05:33
    leave it's pretty embarrassing can you
  • 00:05:35
    imagine imagine you're at work and
  • 00:05:36
    you're like in the middle of a big
  • 00:05:37
    project and you're doing something and
  • 00:05:39
    you make a mistake like a big one you
  • 00:05:40
    know it blows the deal it costs
  • 00:05:41
    something something big and then right
  • 00:05:43
    as soon as you hit the email that makes
  • 00:05:44
    the big mistake or whatever your boss
  • 00:05:45
    person and goes hey you come over here
  • 00:05:47
    and you have to stop what you're doing
  • 00:05:49
    and pick up your stuff and walk out and
  • 00:05:51
    then someone else comes in and sits down
  • 00:05:52
    at your desk and starts doing your work
  • 00:05:54
    for you and oh by the way thousands of
  • 00:05:56
    people are watching this happen you
  • 00:05:58
    imagine that'd be kind of embarrassing
  • 00:06:00
    right that's what it's like to get taken
  • 00:06:01
    out of a game now if it's like late in
  • 00:06:03
    the game you know it's like the eighth
  • 00:06:04
    inning and I was just getting tired that
  • 00:06:05
    was fine cuz he'd come out he hey you
  • 00:06:07
    know Robins you did a good job but
  • 00:06:08
    you're getting a little tired we're
  • 00:06:09
    going to get someone in to replace you
  • 00:06:10
    I'd come off the mound you know high
  • 00:06:11
    fives from all my teammates because I
  • 00:06:14
    did a good job but if it was like the
  • 00:06:15
    second
  • 00:06:15
    inning and it was already seven to
  • 00:06:18
    nothing that was terrible right because
  • 00:06:21
    I'd walk off the mound upset embarrassed
  • 00:06:23
    frustrated and if we were on the road
  • 00:06:24
    you know in the other teams ballpark it
  • 00:06:25
    was always worse cuz there' be some mean
  • 00:06:27
    heckling fans right above the Dugout
  • 00:06:29
    saying horrible things you know about my
  • 00:06:31
    mother right literally and I would sit
  • 00:06:34
    in the
  • 00:06:34
    Dugout and nobody would talk to me right
  • 00:06:38
    watch a baseball game again even if you
  • 00:06:39
    don't like baseball just turn a baseball
  • 00:06:40
    game on watch what happens when the
  • 00:06:41
    pitcher comes out of the game there's
  • 00:06:42
    like an Unwritten rule oh leave him
  • 00:06:44
    alone he's
  • 00:06:45
    upset you know what I could have used
  • 00:06:47
    when I was sitting on the bench after
  • 00:06:48
    just giving up seven runs in the second
  • 00:06:50
    inning what do you think a
  • 00:06:53
    hug some
  • 00:06:55
    appreciation now not recognition what
  • 00:06:57
    are they going to say hey Robins way to
  • 00:06:58
    go great job man seven runs in the
  • 00:07:00
    second inning woo no that would be
  • 00:07:03
    disingenuous that would be inauthentic
  • 00:07:05
    in fact that'd be condescending there's
  • 00:07:06
    nothing to recognize about the
  • 00:07:08
    performance and not only did I fail
  • 00:07:10
    personally I failed for the team we're
  • 00:07:12
    probably going to lose so look our
  • 00:07:13
    performance matters what we do or don't
  • 00:07:15
    do absolutely matters however as a
  • 00:07:17
    living breathing often insecure although
  • 00:07:20
    I pretended not to be in those days
  • 00:07:21
    especially human being I could have used
  • 00:07:23
    some appreciation not for what I had
  • 00:07:25
    done but for who I
  • 00:07:27
    am like hey Robins
  • 00:07:30
    you're not as bad as you just performed
  • 00:07:32
    or hey man you know what you're an
  • 00:07:33
    important part of the team or even just
  • 00:07:35
    ask me how you
  • 00:07:38
    doing all those years playing baseball I
  • 00:07:40
    can count on one hand the number of
  • 00:07:42
    times anyone ever said anything
  • 00:07:43
    meaningful or positive to me when I
  • 00:07:45
    failed so when we expand our capacity
  • 00:07:49
    for what we think of when we think of
  • 00:07:50
    appreciation it's not just about
  • 00:07:52
    recognizing results and performance
  • 00:07:54
    about appreciating people you know I
  • 00:07:56
    spoke at a conference in Silicon Valley
  • 00:07:57
    leadership conference about a year and a
  • 00:07:58
    half ago and the speaker before me was a
  • 00:08:01
    professor from UC Berkeley and he was
  • 00:08:03
    sharing some interesting research that
  • 00:08:04
    they'd been doing at hos business school
  • 00:08:06
    which is at Berkeley and one of the
  • 00:08:08
    studies he put up on his slide talked
  • 00:08:10
    about what motivates productivity in
  • 00:08:13
    people and what they found in the study
  • 00:08:14
    was that when people felt recognized for
  • 00:08:16
    the work they did they were 23% more
  • 00:08:17
    effective and productive than when
  • 00:08:19
    people didn't made sense but the same
  • 00:08:22
    study found that when people felt valued
  • 00:08:24
    and cared for a literal or figurative
  • 00:08:26
    pat on the back that the people around
  • 00:08:28
    them particularly person they report to
  • 00:08:30
    really cared about them they were 43%
  • 00:08:32
    more effective and productive than
  • 00:08:34
    people who
  • 00:08:35
    didn't there was a 20% increase in
  • 00:08:38
    productivity from focusing on who people
  • 00:08:41
    are not just what they do that's the
  • 00:08:45
    distinction and people who understand
  • 00:08:47
    this both in
  • 00:08:48
    business and in our lives personally we
  • 00:08:50
    start to have the ability to appreciate
  • 00:08:53
    people and have it not be so conditional
  • 00:08:56
    and have it to start have it start being
  • 00:08:57
    more meaningful and impactful
  • 00:09:00
    you know because of the work that I do I
  • 00:09:02
    often get invited ironically to speak at
  • 00:09:03
    recognition events so these big
  • 00:09:05
    companies will have these events people
  • 00:09:07
    win Awards it's a great thing a lot of
  • 00:09:08
    times they're fancy and you know they
  • 00:09:09
    get to bring a spouse and they come
  • 00:09:11
    somewhere and I I enjoy doing them I was
  • 00:09:14
    at an event like that a few months back
  • 00:09:17
    down in Miami and one of the questions I
  • 00:09:18
    often ask when I speak at events like
  • 00:09:19
    that is I'll ask the people in the
  • 00:09:21
    audience the award winners what is it
  • 00:09:23
    about being at this event or getting
  • 00:09:24
    this award that had you feel
  • 00:09:26
    appreciated specifically
  • 00:09:30
    and I'll have them pair up and whatnot
  • 00:09:31
    you know there's a couple hundred people
  • 00:09:32
    in the room at this event in Miami and
  • 00:09:33
    one one after they were done talking to
  • 00:09:35
    each other I had a few people raised
  • 00:09:36
    their hand and one guy stood up and he
  • 00:09:37
    said you know I hadn't thought about it
  • 00:09:39
    specifically until he asked the question
  • 00:09:41
    he said but you know when I got this
  • 00:09:42
    award I was really proud it was a big
  • 00:09:44
    deal I went home and told my family and
  • 00:09:46
    he said you know what my son told me he
  • 00:09:48
    was proud of
  • 00:09:49
    me he said that was the most meaningful
  • 00:09:52
    part and that's often what it is it's
  • 00:09:55
    something simple it's something
  • 00:09:57
    personal it's not some big deal it's
  • 00:09:59
    something that means something to
  • 00:10:02
    us so what can we do what are some
  • 00:10:05
    simple things that you can do that we
  • 00:10:06
    can do to
  • 00:10:08
    start expressing our appreciation for
  • 00:10:10
    other people more effectively well the
  • 00:10:12
    first thing we got to do is we got to
  • 00:10:14
    look for
  • 00:10:14
    it you know there's a great saying you
  • 00:10:17
    almost always find what you look for and
  • 00:10:19
    we got to look for it how many of you
  • 00:10:20
    notice with some people it's hard to
  • 00:10:21
    find sometimes you ever notice I got to
  • 00:10:24
    look
  • 00:10:25
    hard but remember appreciate doesn't
  • 00:10:27
    mean like doesn't mean agree with
  • 00:10:28
    doesn't mean hey let's be best friends
  • 00:10:30
    and let's go hang out it means recognize
  • 00:10:32
    the value
  • 00:10:33
    of you can recognize the value of any
  • 00:10:35
    human being at any time for any reason
  • 00:10:38
    it's less about them and more about you
  • 00:10:40
    when we look for it we find it second
  • 00:10:42
    thing we got to do is create practices
  • 00:10:45
    or make a commitment to actually do it
  • 00:10:46
    it's a simple concept we all understand
  • 00:10:48
    it but just understanding it doesn't
  • 00:10:50
    make it happen you know I was speaking
  • 00:10:51
    of an event in San Diego actually just
  • 00:10:53
    this week and after I got done speaking
  • 00:10:55
    I was over signing some books and a guy
  • 00:10:57
    came up to me and he said Mike I'm I'm
  • 00:10:58
    so inspired I want to start appreciating
  • 00:11:00
    my teammates more I'm going to start
  • 00:11:01
    appreciating my clients more and my wife
  • 00:11:03
    and and he said but I know that I
  • 00:11:05
    probably won't stay
  • 00:11:07
    inspired and I said you're right it'll
  • 00:11:09
    wear off it's what happens we get
  • 00:11:12
    inspired and then we're not so inspired
  • 00:11:13
    I said so what you got to do is figure
  • 00:11:14
    out what simple practice can you put in
  • 00:11:16
    place and I suggested to him just tell
  • 00:11:18
    people tell your wife tell your friends
  • 00:11:20
    tell your
  • 00:11:21
    co-workers I also suggested to him
  • 00:11:23
    something very simple but a lot of
  • 00:11:24
    people that I work with a lot of the
  • 00:11:25
    best leaders I work with do this put it
  • 00:11:27
    in your calendar schedule it as a
  • 00:11:30
    reminder after a while you won't have to
  • 00:11:32
    keep reminding
  • 00:11:34
    yourself third thing we got to do and
  • 00:11:37
    this is so simple but can radically
  • 00:11:39
    transform the nature of relationships
  • 00:11:41
    teams families culture start receiving
  • 00:11:43
    compliments more
  • 00:11:45
    graciously how many of you notice from
  • 00:11:47
    time to time when someone gives you a
  • 00:11:48
    compliment you get a little funny about
  • 00:11:49
    it you ever notice that okay you know
  • 00:11:52
    what you're supposed to say when someone
  • 00:11:53
    compliment you thank you then shut your
  • 00:11:56
    mouth
  • 00:11:59
    literally you don't have to say anything
  • 00:12:00
    else after the thank you usually if you
  • 00:12:02
    listen to yourself and other people
  • 00:12:03
    whatever you say after the thank you is
  • 00:12:05
    almost always weird and
  • 00:12:06
    insincere it is it's a compliment
  • 00:12:08
    sometimes we give a compliment right
  • 00:12:09
    back to the person and sometimes we mean
  • 00:12:10
    it but sometimes it's like completely
  • 00:12:11
    inappropriate it would be like if you
  • 00:12:13
    came up to me after this one and said
  • 00:12:14
    hey Mike that was a great talk and I
  • 00:12:15
    went you
  • 00:12:18
    too that's weird but even worse we argue
  • 00:12:20
    with people you ever do that someone
  • 00:12:22
    gives you a compliment you go oh no no
  • 00:12:24
    it's bad it was terrible we start
  • 00:12:25
    cutting ourselves down don't do that
  • 00:12:29
    that's literally like someone handing
  • 00:12:30
    you a birthday gift and saying happy
  • 00:12:31
    birthday and you going ah it's wrong
  • 00:12:33
    with you I don't deserve this and
  • 00:12:35
    throwing it on the floor you ruin the
  • 00:12:37
    gift you offend the giver and you don't
  • 00:12:40
    get very many more gifts that way do you
  • 00:12:42
    know they've scientifically proven now
  • 00:12:44
    that when one human being expresses
  • 00:12:47
    kindness and appreciation to another
  • 00:12:49
    human being and it's received raises the
  • 00:12:53
    serotonin level in both people's brains
  • 00:12:55
    it physiologically makes us feel better
  • 00:12:58
    so even if you don't agree with
  • 00:12:59
    someone's compliment you start receiving
  • 00:13:01
    it more graciously you'll get more and
  • 00:13:04
    every environment that you're in will
  • 00:13:06
    all of a sudden become more conducive
  • 00:13:08
    for appreciation to be
  • 00:13:11
    expressed so I'm going to share one
  • 00:13:14
    final Story related to this personal
  • 00:13:16
    story and what I'd like for you to do as
  • 00:13:19
    I'm sharing this story think about
  • 00:13:20
    someone in your own
  • 00:13:22
    life who matters to you who you really
  • 00:13:26
    appreciate because this story is about
  • 00:13:28
    my mom
  • 00:13:30
    now my mom passed away two years ago and
  • 00:13:32
    my mom and I had as many of us do with
  • 00:13:35
    our parents a complicated relationship
  • 00:13:37
    we were very close a lot of love between
  • 00:13:39
    us but we had our ups and downs we had
  • 00:13:40
    our challenges but I had an experience
  • 00:13:42
    with my mother about 10 years ago that
  • 00:13:44
    was pretty profound related to
  • 00:13:46
    appreciation how many of you have ever
  • 00:13:47
    seen those Chicken Soup for the Soul
  • 00:13:48
    books you seen them right they got
  • 00:13:50
    chicken soup for every soul you could
  • 00:13:52
    imagine right now I've Loved These books
  • 00:13:54
    they've been out now for about 20 some
  • 00:13:55
    years and I used to buy them as gifts
  • 00:13:57
    and I had a bunch of them at home and
  • 00:13:58
    about 10 years ago I got an email and
  • 00:14:00
    they said they were coming out with a
  • 00:14:01
    new chicken soup book and they were
  • 00:14:03
    looking for stories and I got excited
  • 00:14:06
    because this one was called Chicken Soup
  • 00:14:07
    for the single parent soul and my mom
  • 00:14:10
    and dad had split up when I was three
  • 00:14:11
    and my mom had raised me and my older
  • 00:14:12
    sister as a single mom and I decided I
  • 00:14:14
    wanted to write a story and send it in
  • 00:14:15
    and the story I decided to write was
  • 00:14:17
    called mom taught me to play
  • 00:14:18
    baseball because she did she'd actually
  • 00:14:21
    been a PE teacher and since my dad
  • 00:14:23
    wasn't around my mom was the one that
  • 00:14:24
    taught me how to throw and catch she
  • 00:14:26
    went to all my te- ball games all my
  • 00:14:27
    little leag games all my Youth League
  • 00:14:28
    games High school games she used to come
  • 00:14:29
    see me play down at Stanford she'd even
  • 00:14:32
    fly to come see me play when I was
  • 00:14:33
    playing in the minor leagues so I wrote
  • 00:14:34
    a story acknowledging her for everything
  • 00:14:36
    she'd done and sacrificed and all that
  • 00:14:39
    now I didn't tell her about the story I
  • 00:14:40
    told my wife Michelle but I was a little
  • 00:14:42
    nervous about it I wasn't doing much
  • 00:14:43
    writing at the time I was kind of
  • 00:14:44
    insecure about it I sent it in I didn't
  • 00:14:46
    think it was actually going to get
  • 00:14:47
    accepted in the book but I got an email
  • 00:14:49
    back a few weeks actually it was a few
  • 00:14:51
    months later and they said hey
  • 00:14:52
    congratulations your story is going to
  • 00:14:53
    be in the book and I was all excited I
  • 00:14:56
    told Michelle I said hey I got to call
  • 00:14:57
    my mom and she said don't call her her I
  • 00:14:59
    said what do you mean don't call her she
  • 00:15:01
    said what if you wait till the book
  • 00:15:02
    comes out you could surprise her oh
  • 00:15:05
    that's cool so I emailed back to the
  • 00:15:06
    chicken soup fols I said when does the
  • 00:15:07
    book come out they said 14 months 14
  • 00:15:11
    months I'm pretty good at keeping a
  • 00:15:12
    secret but that's a long time right so I
  • 00:15:14
    told Michelle I said 14 months she's
  • 00:15:16
    like whoa and she said okay look let's
  • 00:15:17
    not tell your mom in fact let's not tell
  • 00:15:19
    anyone so she doesn't find out and
  • 00:15:22
    amazingly we did it we kept the secret
  • 00:15:23
    14 months pass the book came out my mom
  • 00:15:25
    didn't know nobody knew book came out
  • 00:15:27
    right around my birthday in February
  • 00:15:29
    got a copy of it I wrapped it up we were
  • 00:15:31
    having dinner at our house just the
  • 00:15:32
    family just us and uh after we had
  • 00:15:35
    dinner we sat down in the living room
  • 00:15:36
    because they had some gifts for me and I
  • 00:15:39
    turned to my mom and I said hey Mom
  • 00:15:40
    before I open up my presents I actually
  • 00:15:41
    have a present for you and I handed it
  • 00:15:43
    to her she oh honey it's very sweet but
  • 00:15:46
    it's your birthday I'll look at it later
  • 00:15:49
    now she's like messing up my plan right
  • 00:15:51
    so I I mom I know listen I know it's my
  • 00:15:52
    birthday but do me a favor would you
  • 00:15:54
    just open it up okay and she's a little
  • 00:15:56
    annoy okay oh how nice they did one for
  • 00:15:58
    single parents okay I'll read it when I
  • 00:16:00
    get
  • 00:16:01
    home I said hey Mom listen um I read the
  • 00:16:04
    book and there's a story in here it
  • 00:16:05
    really reminds me of you I said in fact
  • 00:16:07
    I put a bookmark it's on page 294 um
  • 00:16:10
    would you do me a favor would you read
  • 00:16:11
    it out loud to everyone and now my mom
  • 00:16:13
    is like an what okay fine and she's like
  • 00:16:15
    flustered and annoyed and she doesn't
  • 00:16:16
    want to do it okay fine takes the book
  • 00:16:17
    starts to read with no idea what it is
  • 00:16:20
    first line of the story says on June 1st
  • 00:16:22
    1995 I was standing on the pitcher mound
  • 00:16:23
    at Rosen blat stadium in Omaha Nebraska
  • 00:16:25
    about to throw my first pitch in the
  • 00:16:26
    College World Series and my mom looks up
  • 00:16:29
    and goes this guy pitched in the College
  • 00:16:31
    World Series totally not getting it
  • 00:16:35
    right and then she starts to read the
  • 00:16:37
    second line and she stops and she looks
  • 00:16:39
    at me and she looks at the book and she
  • 00:16:42
    you could see her brain was working
  • 00:16:43
    really hard right and then all of a
  • 00:16:44
    sudden her eyes got big and you could
  • 00:16:46
    see that she got it that the story was
  • 00:16:49
    about
  • 00:16:50
    her and that I wrote
  • 00:16:52
    it and she dropped the
  • 00:16:54
    book and she started to cry
  • 00:16:58
    and I leaned over to pick up the book
  • 00:17:01
    off the floor by the way at this point
  • 00:17:02
    we were all crying I picked up the book
  • 00:17:04
    off the floor I handed it back to her
  • 00:17:06
    and I said hey Mom if you don't mind
  • 00:17:09
    could you read the rest of
  • 00:17:11
    it and she did my mom read that entire
  • 00:17:14
    story out loud to all of us and you know
  • 00:17:17
    it's a big deal for me personally
  • 00:17:19
    professionally to have that story
  • 00:17:20
    published in that book I was proud of
  • 00:17:22
    that absolutely but by far by far the
  • 00:17:26
    most meaningful aspect of that and
  • 00:17:29
    especially now was being able to give it
  • 00:17:31
    to my mom and appreciate her in that way
  • 00:17:35
    that's how powerful it is whether we do
  • 00:17:37
    it in a big dramatic way or we do it in
  • 00:17:39
    a simple day-to-day way when we take the
  • 00:17:42
    time when we're willing to look for and
  • 00:17:44
    find the things we appreciate about the
  • 00:17:46
    people around us and let them know it's
  • 00:17:49
    one of the greatest gifts we can give to
  • 00:17:50
    them and it's a gift for us as well
  • 00:17:54
    that's the power of
  • 00:17:55
    appreciation thank you very much thank
  • 00:17:58
    you
标签
  • Appreciation
  • Recognition
  • Baseball Career
  • Personal Growth
  • Relationships
  • Productivity
  • Positive Psychology
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Keynote Speaker
  • Life Lessons