Ngabuburit Jiwa Eps 1

The podcast begins with a warm greeting and an introduction to the importance of mental health awareness, especially in light of a traumatic event that occurred on December 23. The aim is to educate the academic community about mental health issues and encourage understanding and support for those in need.

The host introduces a remarkable guest, a survivor who is willing to share her story. She is a final-year student in Social Welfare Studies and has experienced dark times, emphasizing the importance of seeking professional help for those in similar situations.

The guest recounts her journey, starting from 2015 when she first recognized something was wrong. She describes her denial and the long process of coming to terms with her mental health struggles, including multiple suicide attempts and self-harm, stemming from a lack of emotional expression during her childhood.

She shares her experiences of feeling isolated and misunderstood during her school years, which contributed to her mental health decline. The guest discusses her attempts to connect with peers and the subsequent feelings of rejection that exacerbated her emotional turmoil.

The guest describes her hallucinations and the presence of a comforting figure, 'the fairy mother,' who encouraged her to escape her pain through self-harm and suicidal thoughts. She recounts her first suicide attempt and the disappointment she felt when it did not lead to the relief she sought.

The narrative continues with her second suicide attempt, where she considered jumping into a river. The guest reflects on the emotional pain and the feeling of being alone, despite the presence of her grandfather, who tried to support her during these dark times.

As she progresses through her education, the guest experiences further trauma with the loss of her father, which adds to her emotional burden. She describes the struggle to cope with grief while fulfilling her academic responsibilities, leading to a cycle of unresolved pain.

The guest shares her transition to high school, where she found a supportive environment that helped her feel better. However, she acknowledges that she was not truly healing but rather suppressing her emotions, which would later resurface.

The discussion shifts to her college years, where she faced challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic and the pressure of academic expectations. The guest describes her struggles with mental health during this time, including feelings of failure and isolation as she attempted to gain admission to university.