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hey there so it's no secret that teen
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dramas are kind of my cup of tea
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I mean I've grown out of them a bit in
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the last year or so but from middle
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school to senior year there was nothing
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I loved more than binge watching
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whatever melodramatic high school series
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featuring full adult actors and Netflix
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was willing to upload the first was
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Gossip Girl then in some random sequence
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literally every single one ever made
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name one and I've seen it no exceptions
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I mean I've even watched red band
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society and nobody watched red band
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society and I'm not gonna lie even
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though I recognize flaws and all of them
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I would not hesitate to admit that I
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love most of them I gobble up whatever
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garbage they throw at me because at the
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end of the day I'm not watching
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Riverdale to exercise my critical
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thinking I've never wondered why One
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Tree Hill didn't win any Golden Globe I
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watch them to turn my brain off and
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release the side of myself that doesn't
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want to care about anything important
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when I'm watching teen dramas all I care
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about is whether or not Seth and summer
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will get back together which of course
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they will but I need to see it to
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believe it
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this isn't to say teen the Romans are
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incapable of good writing or that they
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are critically untouchable but that's
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all a subject for another time however
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there is one show that I watched like
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halfway through but gave up on because I
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was like you know what this isn't good
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now and it wasn't when it started so
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what am I still doing here which is kind
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of crazy because I'm pretty sure I was
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in middle school at the time and middle
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school Julia didn't have standards it
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had to be an absolute snooze fest for me
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to even think twice about it and believe
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me it was I'm not even convinced that
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the people who watched all of The Secret
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Life of the American teenager liked it
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Anna you've watched all of the Secret
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Life of the American teenager right yes
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do you like that show I was at rated by
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it I guess because I watched it all the
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way through but then I got to the end
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and I decided that it's a pretty trashed
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show
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look like it's alright I guess have you
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watched the secret life how much of it
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did you watch a whole entire thing did
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you like it yeah I make a video about it
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have you watched The Secret Life of the
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American teenager yeah you watched all
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of it did you like it yeah okay I know
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you feel you really like doing a video
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on it and then you said that you could I
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have the same eye shape oh yeah Shailene
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Woodley okay none of them said no but it
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was it was iffy I do know that people
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who really loved the show are mad at it
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because of the finale episode because
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the ending is kind of it kind of betrays
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you a little bit I have just found out
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that after the show ended to the creator
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did this interview where she basically
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wrote a whole new ending just because
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everybody was bugging her about it it's
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very JK Rowling here's the thing though
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if it's not in the show it's not canon
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now I've wanted to talk about this show
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since I started making videos because I
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really dislike it but I wasn't sure how
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to go about it usually I'd give a
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play-by-play of the plot but usually I'm
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talking about movies and movies are an
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hour to two hours long this is like a
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hundred and twenty one episodes it's
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probably something like 80 hours of
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content how do you begin to talk about
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that however I've come to the conclusion
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that it isn't the plot that I hate about
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this show I mean it might be
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entertaining to make fun of with the
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three unexpected pregnancies multiple
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marriages or at least proposals and a
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stillbirth all while they're in high
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school they're 15 that's 4 years older
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then 11 also there was that time grace
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lost her virginity and therefore blamed
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herself for her father's plane crash
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death that's when I stopped watching I
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had to
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draw the line somewhere but none of this
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is unique from other shows that I enjoy
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comparatively that's all pretty chill
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like my favorites ever our Gossip Girl
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and The OC some of the things that
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happened in those two shows are
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absolutely outrageous not to mention the
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supernatural or mystery spins on the
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teen drama genre that get away with the
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most bizarre storylines I think once you
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get past a season of any drama show not
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even just teen drama shows it's gonna go
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off the rails because the characters
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have to be doing something they can't
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just do their homework and argue with
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their parents like real teenagers or
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that would be a boring show so yes
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Serena must reveal that she was
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manipulated into recording a sex tape
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but in the midst of that the guy had a
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coca-cola induced overdose and die and
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Blair must attempt to run away with
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truck right before her wedding to a
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French prince whose child she was
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pregnant with but getting a car accident
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so then make a deal with God that if
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Chuck lives she'll marry Louie and later
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they must accidentally kill Chuck's
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daddy who had previously faked his own
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death and then getting married so that
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she can avoid testifying against him
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because you know what else are they
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gonna do cheat on each other been there
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done that all jokes aside you get what
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I'm saying right outlandish turns of
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events haven't never been a deal breaker
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for me they're kind of a plus so for the
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past little while I've been really
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trying to put my finger on what it is
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that made me hate the secret life so
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decidedly if it's not the crazy twists
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and turns or the fact that it's
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unrealistic then what is it and I think
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I'm finally starting to put my finger on
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it it's the complete lack of technique
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or style in other words it doesn't have
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enough pizzazz to be what it is you know
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it takes the same far-out dramatizations
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of teen life from all these other shows
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but delivers them on xanax
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it's like teen drama kool-aid that they
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put too much water in it's like interior
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design without a color scheme these
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analogies are really fun but do you get
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what I mean
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sure you do but let's over-explain up
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for good measure here's the scene where
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Finn finds out Quinn is pregnant and
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Glee
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a brief vocal chef Quinn Quinn hey
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what's with the silent treatment the
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camera follows them and doesn't cut
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until 13 seconds in whatever I did I'm
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sorry it cuts to a close-up centered
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shot which is honestly genius for the
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high pressure feel of this moment I'm
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pregnant
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Quinn's voice muffles and a quick
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heartbeat is added which reminds me of
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an ultrasound heartbeat but also really
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elevates pin pins Finn's panic we know
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he's done processing the news when a
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locker slams the heartbeats gone and
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they moved back to a side angle hot tub
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Finn looks to the right and they use a
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slide transition as if he's literally
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visualizing the memory again the camera
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moves towards them instead of just
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sitting still another flashback but this
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time it's a sudden for comedic effect
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and we slide back to reality
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swimsuit it's pretty standard from there
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on out but they've just taken us on a
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whole journey so we need to break anyway
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here's the scene where Ricky finds out
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that amy is pregnant in the Secret Life
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of the American teenager shot of Ricky
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shot of the room shot of Ricky shot of
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the therapist and so on yeah I pray to
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you when I said this was the scene where
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he found out she was pregnant
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there is no scene where he finds out
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that she was pregnant if there is I
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couldn't find it skimming through the
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two hole episodes before he said this so
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I guess it's just implied that he heard
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a rumor and this very key moment to the
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story just wasn't important enough for
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us to see
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that's a very lukewarm reaction to huge
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life-changing news oh the camera moved
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and none of this accounts for the
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lighting wardrobe backing and transition
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music that they use in not just a scene
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but the whole show Glee always had the
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coolest acapella transitions and if you
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showed me an outfit I could tell you
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which character wore it I mean aside
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from that cheerleading uniforms and on
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the other hand the secret life never
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managed to look any more visually
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stimulating than a school assembly PSA
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which isn't surprising because that's
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basically what it is
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remember these at the end of every
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episode and they're too musical
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varieties were sad electric guitar
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[Music]
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on YouTube audio library
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I mean seriously I think sometimes the
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music didn't just fail to enhance a
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scene but actively ruined them but hey
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all I've really proven is that Glee is
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better stylistically than the secret
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life eglee is one of the most highly
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stylized teen dramas out there probably
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next to skins Twin Peaks Gossip Girl and
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Riverdale I know everybody hates that
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show right now but we can't accuse it of
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being anything less than distinct
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however I think even shows without a
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cool setting or gimmick have more of a
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voice than the secret life does my
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favorite example of this is one tree
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hill because like the secret wife they
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don't do a lot of camera work it's not
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very Poppa pal it's more down-to-earth
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but I love that show I thought you guys
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would agree with me there but uh who
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cares this is my video you're here to
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hear what I think and what I think is
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that the reasons why One Tree Hill is
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superior to the secret life despite also
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being stylistic we planned our character
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acting dialogue and pacing so sometimes
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my sister and I try to decide who our
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favorite One Tree Hill character is and
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we can't decide because we love them all
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except Peyton we don't like Peyton
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whereas I hate every single secret life
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character except for Ricky but
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especially Amy Amy is the worst
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character in television history and take
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care of the baby I just assumed that
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you'd keep the baby while in just school
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you can do that right keep the baby
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while I'm at school
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Amy I have to get a job then where's the
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baby gonna be mom if you're at work and
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I'm at school and it's also up to you to
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pay for any child care and that comes
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with a baby don't you think no not
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really
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wrap on needs a cup of coffee yeah you
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have to get it yourself that's a new
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rule around here
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and if you don't like the characters you
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don't care what happens to them I think
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part of the reason why I don't like the
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characters besides the fact that they're
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all wrecking balls of poor
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decision-making is the bad acting
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[Music]
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I have no desire to really dive into the
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topic of acting because and I know I've
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said this before but I don't know how to
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explain why I've decided something is a
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good or bad performance like I come to
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these conclusions solely based on how I
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feel when I'm watching it which is why
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I've decided shailene woodley and Molly
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Ringwald are good actresses given bad
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dialogue and bad directing which
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probably means that same thing bogged
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down all the other actors except I kind
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of refuse to believe that those two
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girls that were Amy's friends were
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actually good actresses underneath there
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because I think they actively ruined
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everything that they were in but I think
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the real issue was pacing I mean I
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dropped out of college before we really
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reached the subject in my film class so
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I'm no expert but the amount of dead
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space between every line and this show
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makes me really uncomfortable and I'm
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gonna go ahead and say that that's bad
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and you know what all in all I don't
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think the show's concept or message
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really makes up for any of its failures
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I can appreciate that they wanted to
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portray teenagers talking to their
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parents about sex in a non taboo way but
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more often than not every interaction
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any of the characters have with their
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parents turns into a petty argument
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which isn't really the greatest
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advertisement for talking to your
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parents openly and honestly man the more
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I talk about it the more I feel like
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there's just like no redeeming qualities
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to this show let's be clear if you like
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it that's fine I know since I posted
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that poll that apparently a lot of you
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do so I don't want you to be mad at me I
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tend to value things and my
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entertainment that I think this show
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lacks but if you prioritize other things
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that you think it does well then cool
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but in conclusion to me it is the worst
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teen drama of all time I have a
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suspicion that Degrassi could probably
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beat it out but that's the one I haven't
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watched cuz I just I can't subject
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myself to that I just care a lot about
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style and
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voice the concept we learned in seventh
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grade to write our essays with a little
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more um I think just as important as the
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story you're telling is the lens you're
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telling it through the Secret Life of
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the American teenagers title suggests
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that it's like an unfiltered look at
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what teens could be getting up to but
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it's not which makes you think it might
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possess a sort of shameless raunchy
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realness to it it does not the cover art
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and the opening theme leave me with a
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Pushing Daisies colorful quirky vibe
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which also could have been fun but it's
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also not like that the production of the
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show is just static and monotone and
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frankly boring so I hate it please don't
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hate me follow me on Twitter and
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Instagram bye
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[Music]
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[Music]
