00:00:00
unfortunately have you reflected on the
00:00:03
rise of escorts and sex work I think
00:00:05
it's pretty fascinating to look at the
00:00:07
psychology of the women who do it and
00:00:09
the men who pay for it yeah well the
00:00:11
women who do it usually and I think it's
00:00:13
probably less now but there's a a big
00:00:16
history of childhood sexual abuse and
00:00:18
the reason why child abuse often then
00:00:21
becomes monetized sex work is because
00:00:24
when we are violated as a child men or
00:00:26
women when we when something is violated
00:00:28
from us the only way your ego kind of
00:00:30
makes sense of what happens to you is to
00:00:32
minimize the importance and significance
00:00:34
of what was stolen from you so if I was
00:00:37
Abus sexually if I then minimize the
00:00:40
importance of sex and then take some
00:00:42
control by monetizing it and saying I'm
00:00:43
now in control of my body I'm either
00:00:45
going to be hyper promiscous or I'm
00:00:46
going to monetize it what it does is
00:00:48
minimizes the significance of sex and
00:00:51
therefore I don't have to deal with the
00:00:52
trauma I experienced I now see sex as
00:00:55
just an activity and therefore if I was
00:00:57
abused it's not that serious and so the
00:00:59
psychology of them is usually coming
00:01:00
from a broken place and also the other
00:01:02
thing that they struggle with is knowing
00:01:04
what loyalty looks like in a
00:01:06
relationship they don't see it as an
00:01:07
essential component because they've
00:01:09
monetized sex and um taken away the
00:01:11
emotion em element to it so it becomes
00:01:14
very difficult for them to be sexually
00:01:15
loyal to their partner it's almost like
00:01:17
they see sex as a bit as an activity and
00:01:20
if they do it with somebody else why
00:01:21
would that bother you they don't
00:01:22
understand the process so they end up
00:01:24
being quite emotionally disconnected
00:01:27
very transactional with their partners
00:01:29
and the relationships become the the
00:01:31
relationships don't really last very
00:01:33
long unfortunately they're a void of
00:01:35
emotions and then it translates into
00:01:36
their parenting as well what about the
00:01:39
psychology of the men who pay for it um
00:01:41
the psychology of the man that actually
00:01:42
goes towards it is usually somebody
00:01:45
who's highly avoidant to begin with
00:01:47
there was some emotional disconnect in
00:01:48
their parents in their household so when
00:01:51
you want to CAU a beautiful woman in the
00:01:53
real world she requires some emotional
00:01:56
connection first and foremost or at
00:01:58
least at some point now if if you've if
00:02:00
you find it hard to experience emotional
00:02:03
connection and you have the money to go
00:02:04
from pornography to escorts you skip the
00:02:07
emotional component and go straight to
00:02:09
escorts it basically escorts are porn
00:02:13
addicts with
00:02:14
money yeah essentially that is for them
00:02:17
and that low self-esteem that intense
00:02:19
low self-esteem um with the men that pay
00:02:22
for escorts means that they don't
00:02:24
believe they can access a woman of that
00:02:26
caliber in real life so let me at least
00:02:28
pay in for it and therefore I don't have
00:02:30
to experience rejection the reason why
00:02:32
emotional kind of Disconnect is so
00:02:34
important for the customer is a man that
00:02:37
understands emotional intelligence and
00:02:39
understands a woman's emotions wouldn't
00:02:41
feel comfortable having sex with a woman
00:02:43
he knows doesn't want to be there a guy
00:02:45
that normally has emotional intelligence
00:02:47
will think oh God she's probably not
00:02:48
enjoying this and oh God what trauma led
00:02:50
her to get here I don't want to have sex
00:02:52
with somebody who doesn't want to have
00:02:53
sex with me but the man who skipped that
00:02:55
emotional intelligence and just wants
00:02:57
pleasure will not even think about the
00:03:00
emotional trauma that got her to this
00:03:02
position and just think as long as she
00:03:04
pleases me I don't really care what it
00:03:06
took to get her here so that emotional
00:03:08
disconnect in both of them which is why
00:03:11
they often fall in love with each other
00:03:13
fall in love yeah they often do end up
00:03:15
together and this is what I really hate
00:03:17
about the narrative that they tell you
00:03:18
that on these red pill podcasts that men
00:03:20
want virgins men want good girls the
00:03:22
amount of successful men that fall in
00:03:24
love with the escorts is because they
00:03:26
allow him to not emotionally connect but
00:03:28
then still boost his ego which is what
00:03:31
his dream come true whereas another
00:03:33
woman requires that emotional connection
00:03:35
before she can boost your ego so the
00:03:37
escort is just providing him with an ego
00:03:39
boost with bearing in mind his emotional
00:03:42
disabilities that's interesting I
00:03:44
noticed is it can I ask is it big in in
00:03:47
America as well because it's huge where
00:03:49
I live I haven't seen it I mean Dubai I
00:03:50
think is a a very particular uh Petry
00:03:54
dish of of like unique dating maybe
00:03:57
Miami I mean in fact I would almost be
00:03:59
certain with London is getting there as
00:04:01
well it's getting just as rampant in
00:04:02
London as well I'm noticing that you
00:04:04
were in all of these locations if you
00:04:05
moved to Miami too you would be theom
00:04:08
maybe I'm the problem maybe I bring I
00:04:09
bring the heat so I noticed when I was
00:04:12
at Uni and I was running a lot of
00:04:15
nightclubs and we would go the only
00:04:16
place that's open after 3: in the
00:04:17
morning of the strip clubs right so we
00:04:19
would go to the strip clubs and we would
00:04:20
like we'd know all of the girls because
00:04:22
most of the girls would come out to one
00:04:23
of our events on an evening time or
00:04:24
whatever and I noticed a lot of the
00:04:26
girls were
00:04:28
struggling they would struggle to see
00:04:31
men as like not genuine humans but
00:04:36
because their job required them to see
00:04:39
men as resources to be extracted from
00:04:41
like anyone that's ever been to a proper
00:04:44
workingclass strip club right there's
00:04:46
still you know like girls in there I'm
00:04:48
not derating the quality of the women
00:04:51
I'm talking about the kind of culture
00:04:52
that comes
00:04:54
through they are [ __ ] ruthless with
00:04:58
how they take money from Men like
00:05:00
they're sitting on their lap it's almost
00:05:01
like a sales funnel they understand the
00:05:04
tricks that they can use to get a man to
00:05:06
go for a dance to get them out to stay
00:05:08
with you and so on and so forth they
00:05:10
entered the game like the arena of play
00:05:13
is and if they've had too much to drink
00:05:14
or they've done whatever like probably
00:05:16
shouldn't have gone to the strip club
00:05:17
with your credit card if that's the case
00:05:19
but what happened on the other side of
00:05:21
that I noticed that a lot of the girls
00:05:23
struggle to make an emotional connection
00:05:25
with guys in their personal life and I
00:05:27
think that trying to separate out this
00:05:30
is someone that I'm supposed to have a
00:05:31
genuine connection with and this is
00:05:32
someone that I'm supposed to have a
00:05:33
transactional connection with these two
00:05:36
it doesn't surprise me that you can't
00:05:38
that these are going to bleed into each
00:05:39
other and the same has to be true with
00:05:41
only fans um what happens with only fans
00:05:43
and strippers and sex workers in general
00:05:45
the pool of women that they're left with
00:05:46
are men they don't respect the reality
00:05:48
is women respect men with masculinity
00:05:52
Alpha protectiveness um providing Etc
00:05:55
now when you go into sex work you are
00:05:57
left with firstly your customers are
00:05:59
incredibly low self-esteem incredibly
00:06:01
naive to even believe that you're going
00:06:03
to be loyal to them and even if he's not
00:06:04
your customer and he's your boyfriend
00:06:06
but he accepts your sex work a part of
00:06:08
you doesn't see him as powerful and a
00:06:10
provider and doesn't see him as
00:06:12
protective because if he was truly
00:06:14
protective he wouldn't be with you if he
00:06:16
was a man that genuinely was an alpha
00:06:18
man and wanted a good woman he wouldn't
00:06:20
be with you so the type of men they
00:06:22
truly respect wouldn't be with them so
00:06:25
the only men they can they they
00:06:27
definitely can't fall in love with the
00:06:28
guy that is the you know giving them
00:06:30
money the closest thing they get to that
00:06:32
is the pimp that's taking money from
00:06:34
them CU at least then they kind of
00:06:35
respect the fact that he he's using her
00:06:38
in a way but to be manipulated by her
00:06:41
she feels more powerful than him and
00:06:42
therefore can't respect him I wonder how
00:06:45
many girls in strip clubs get into
00:06:47
relationships with the bouncers and the
00:06:49
door staff and the manager and stuff
00:06:51
like that they end up more they're just
00:06:53
more likely to be with a man that they
00:06:55
provide for than a one that provides for
00:06:56
them because a man that provides for
00:06:58
stripper there's a stupidity in that
00:07:00
because you know this woman's
00:07:02
transactional and yet you're giving her
00:07:04
money she can't respect you but the man
00:07:06
she has to pay for whether he's like a
00:07:07
bouncer that's on half her wage or he's
00:07:09
just a personal trainer that she has to
00:07:11
cover the rent for she's more likely to
00:07:12
fall in love with him because at least
00:07:14
he's not stupid enough to financially
00:07:16
invest in me and a part of her
00:07:18
unconsciously respects him more than the
00:07:20
CEO that's going to buy you a house and
00:07:23
a Range Rover because she's like you're
00:07:24
so stupid what have you come to reflect
00:07:27
on about the psychology of [ __ ] Cham
00:07:30
um it's a way of validating poor
00:07:32
decision
00:07:33
making so when we use the word you're
00:07:35
[ __ ] shaming what we're really saying is
00:07:38
stop pointing out the flaws in my flawed
00:07:41
Behavior essentially we need a society
00:07:43
filled with guilt shame and regret we
00:07:45
need to be aware of these emotions if we
00:07:48
remove shame from our society and we
00:07:50
call it fat shaming [ __ ] shaming
00:07:52
essentially we find a way of normalizing
00:07:55
what is abnormal behavior and when we do
00:07:59
that we then become Reckless we need
00:08:01
guilt shame and regret to help direct us
00:08:03
into making proper decision- making
00:08:05
responsible decision- making healthy
00:08:07
decision-making so whenever you hear the
00:08:09
word that's fat shaming and that's Lut
00:08:11
shaming if the word before it is
00:08:13
negative then the actual the concept is
00:08:16
broken we'll get back to talking to seru
00:08:18
in one minute but first I need to tell
00:08:19
you about element stop having coffee
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first thing in the morning your
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you your money back and and you don't
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even need to return the box that's how
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00:09:16
slod wisdom yeah well what would you say
00:09:18
to the people who say we've had a sexual
00:09:19
Revolution sardia we don't need like
00:09:23
girls can sleep with guys as much as
00:09:25
they want to this is the new world get
00:09:27
up to date now it's 2023
00:09:29
M why should it be the case that that is
00:09:33
negative shameful guilt riddled Behavior
00:09:36
because you're the one saying that men
00:09:37
are trash and yet you're sleeping with
00:09:39
them all day every day you're the it's
00:09:42
the women that sleep around the most
00:09:43
that will say men are trash the women in
00:09:45
healthy relationships are not usually
00:09:47
the ones saying that so if this formula
00:09:50
is working why are you allowing trash to
00:09:51
enter your
00:09:54
vagina I had an idea I had a theory
00:09:56
about the game theory of [ __ ] shaming
00:09:58
and the game theory of s shaming as well
00:10:00
I want to teach you about okay
00:10:02
so as far as I can see more [ __ ] shaming
00:10:06
comes from women than it does from men
00:10:07
right which might be on the surface
00:10:10
surprising but a bit more inspection it
00:10:13
makes sense yeah the reason that more
00:10:15
[ __ ] shaming comes from women than it
00:10:16
does from men is because women are
00:10:19
invested in other women not lowering the
00:10:22
price of sex too low yeah men would
00:10:26
happily have the price of sex be zero
00:10:28
right if
00:10:29
you are prepared to give [ __ ] on the
00:10:31
third date but I want to wait until the
00:10:33
fifth date I'm also a girl and I want to
00:10:35
wait until the fifth date it's in my
00:10:37
interests to raise the price of sex
00:10:40
right by shaming anybody who is more
00:10:42
sexually promiscuous than I am so the
00:10:45
problem that women are trying to combat
00:10:47
is women who give sex without loyalty or
00:10:50
resources right they want to raise the
00:10:52
the amount of loyalty and resources that
00:10:54
other women use before they will give
00:10:56
away sexual access now what I realized I
00:10:59
think is true men simp shame for the
00:11:03
exact same reason in the opposite
00:11:05
direction so women are concerned about
00:11:07
sex without resources men are concerned
00:11:09
with resources without sex right so what
00:11:12
a simp is fundamentally doing is saying
00:11:15
I will give away one of the the few
00:11:17
things that men are supposed to hold in
00:11:20
the highest value which is their ability
00:11:22
to provide and I will give you that in
00:11:24
return for nothing yeah right or in
00:11:27
return for some messages is through a
00:11:29
platform or perhaps just financially
00:11:32
dominated or sugar babying your way
00:11:34
through college or or traveling or
00:11:35
whatever it is that you want to do so I
00:11:38
feel like the energy is very similar
00:11:40
between these two simp shaming and [ __ ]
00:11:42
shaming both of them are trying to
00:11:45
ensure that competitors of the same sex
00:11:49
don't give away the most valuable
00:11:51
resource which they don't want to have
00:11:54
the price of derogated too low what do
00:11:56
you think absolutely it's a form of intr
00:11:57
seexual selection which is in
00:11:59
evolutionary psychology it just simply
00:12:00
means your competition within your sex
00:12:03
now the quickest and easiest way for
00:12:05
women to kind of beat the competition is
00:12:07
verbal aggression and one of the things
00:12:09
that [ __ ] shaming does is firstly of
00:12:11
course like you mentioned it reduces the
00:12:13
value of sex so you're competing with
00:12:14
people who give it for free but in
00:12:16
addition by [ __ ] shaming it's our way of
00:12:18
unconsciously trying to put other men
00:12:19
off that woman now people only [ __ ]
00:12:22
shame attractive women you don't see PE
00:12:25
there are many unattractive women who
00:12:26
are also sleeping with lots and lots of
00:12:28
men but what happens with women they
00:12:30
only feel the need to shame when the
00:12:32
person is a threat in any way shape or
00:12:34
form you will not see unattractive women
00:12:36
get as many trolls as attractive women
00:12:38
online and you will not get unattractive
00:12:41
women who sleep around get as many [ __ ]
00:12:43
shaming comments as sex seen as less of
00:12:45
a threat they're not a threat so
00:12:47
essentially what intersexual selection
00:12:49
does is it makes women use verbal
00:12:50
aggression against one another but only
00:12:53
if she's a threat if she's not a form of
00:12:55
threat we actually turn it into praise
00:12:57
because then it works to actually be
00:12:59
friends with women because you can share
00:13:00
breastfeeding child wearing in
00:13:02
evolutionary terms Al parenting yeah but
00:13:04
if she is any form of threat she can
00:13:06
potentially take your partner and take
00:13:07
your resources so whenever women are
00:13:09
[ __ ] shaming and stuff they usually
00:13:11
focus on the women that they think that
00:13:13
their partner would find attractive so
00:13:15
they might not [ __ ] shame let's say for
00:13:17
example it's an English man they might
00:13:18
not [ __ ] shame the workers in Thailand
00:13:22
and stuff like that but they would [ __ ]
00:13:23
shame the local only fan scals because
00:13:25
it's more of a threat so essentially we
00:13:28
um ver attack those that we see as a
00:13:30
biggest threat and that will reduce the
00:13:31
ability of us to secure resources from a
00:13:33
man yeah very interesting yeah and a sad
00:13:36
thing as well because I get a lot of
00:13:38
hate from women particularly from women
00:13:40
saying that I don't side with women
00:13:42
enough and I always just say you have no
00:13:43
idea what it's like to be around women
00:13:45
like I well maybe they do but for me
00:13:47
personally I've only ever ever
00:13:49
experienced negativity from women
00:13:50
especially in the workplace so it's hard
00:13:52
for me to really be like women are
00:13:54
amazing women empowerment women women
00:13:56
women when we I'm know from my personal
00:13:58
experience we don't support each other
00:14:00
at all yeah that's it's a a ruthless
00:14:04
sort of realization I had Joyce binson
00:14:06
on uh I've had Christina duranti on I've
00:14:09
had Dr Sarah Hill on you know a lot of
00:14:11
evolutionary psychology researchers who
00:14:13
are looking at intersexual competition
00:14:15
Candice Blake and one of the things that
00:14:18
Joyce looked at was the body language of
00:14:22
female basketball
00:14:24
teams she found that male opponents
00:14:28
showed more physical affection to each
00:14:30
other than female compatriots so men on
00:14:34
opposite teams of a basketball court
00:14:36
still nicer to each other were more like
00:14:38
physically affectionate than girls that
00:14:40
were on the same team and I think that
00:14:42
there's a lot of stuff going on with
00:14:44
hierarchy how that works it's the same
00:14:46
reason why girls don't talk about their
00:14:48
achievements academically if they know
00:14:50
that other people are going to find out
00:14:51
because stepping outside of that
00:14:53
hierarchy is something that's a little
00:14:54
bit dangerous and that's kind of
00:14:55
Ruthless right like it should be the
00:14:57
case as a girl that if you succeed and
00:14:59
do something well that you should be
00:15:00
able to like be proud about it and you
00:15:01
should be able to Proclaim it and other
00:15:02
people should say yeah [ __ ] you did good
00:15:04
well done and one of the disadvantages
00:15:08
men are ruthless to each other in very
00:15:10
specific ways but so are women yeah it
00:15:13
was and and the thing is with men they
00:15:14
would Hunt and Gather in tribes so it
00:15:16
makes sense for them to have camaraderie
00:15:18
and be part of a group for women we
00:15:20
wouldn't necessarily use each other to
00:15:21
go hunt we would only feel secure once
00:15:23
we've secured the person that gives us
00:15:25
resources so that's why married women
00:15:27
tend to be who are happily in Rel ships
00:15:29
tend to be less verbally hostile to ones
00:15:31
that are single so single women together
00:15:33
are tend to be more verbally hostile to
00:15:35
one another than when those that are
00:15:37
happily spoken for because they're no
00:15:39
longer in that competition zone so
00:15:41
unfortunately the reality of um female
00:15:44
and female empowerment it only works if
00:15:46
you're not threatened by each other the
00:15:48
moment there's a form of threat they
00:15:49
become very hostile and very aggressive
00:15:51
and so it's very difficult to have a
00:15:53
platform where you're trying to just
00:15:54
educate people about human nature as a
00:15:56
woman because you'll get very much a lot
00:15:58
of hatred from other women so it's not
00:16:00
the easiest what's your what are your
00:16:03
qualifications I'm a psychologist so
00:16:04
what I did is I did a psychology degree
00:16:06
then I followed by Masters then I
00:16:07
actually just went into teaching so I
00:16:09
did went into teaching but then I did
00:16:10
psycho psychodynamic diploma so okay is
00:16:13
Psych is psychology not like a protected
00:16:14
term do you not need to have a doctorate
00:16:16
or something for that you do if you're a
00:16:17
research psychologist and if you're
00:16:19
going to go into like Clinical
00:16:20
Psychology okay yeah I am so I haven't
00:16:22
done a doctorate
