Identity Crisis: Why Defining Yourself by Your Career Is a Problem

00:06:30
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5lsYI0Q8zw

الملخص

TLDRIn this talk, Arthur Brooks addresses the pervasive nature of identity politics and its implications for personal and professional identities. He highlights the fear of failure that many successful individuals experience, which can lead to unhealthy behaviors and a narrow view of self-worth. To combat this fear, Brooks introduces a meditation exercise based on Buddhist practices, encouraging individuals to contemplate their mortality and the transient nature of success. By doing so, they can gain a healthier perspective on their identity and find peace with the inevitability of change in their careers and lives. Ultimately, Brooks advocates for managing one's life like a project, recognizing that skills and interests evolve over time, and that embracing change is essential for personal growth and fulfillment.

الوجبات الجاهزة

  • 🧠 Identity politics shape our self-perception.
  • 😟 Fear of failure can lead to unhealthy behaviors.
  • 🧘‍♂️ Meditation can help confront fears of identity loss.
  • 🔄 Change is inevitable; embrace it.
  • 📈 Manage your life like a project.
  • 🌱 Personal growth requires adapting to new circumstances.
  • 🕊️ Finding peace comes from accepting mortality.
  • 💼 Professional identity is not permanent.
  • 🔍 Reflect on your identity beyond work.
  • 💪 Embrace new opportunities as they arise.

الجدول الزمني

  • 00:00:00 - 00:06:30

    Arthur Brooks discusses the pervasive nature of identity politics and how individuals often define themselves through their professional success. He highlights the fear of failure that accompanies this identity, which can lead to unhealthy behaviors and relationships. Brooks introduces the Maranasati death meditation, adapted for professional failure, as a way to confront the fear of losing one's identity tied to success. By contemplating their own mortality and the inevitable end of their careers, individuals can transcend their fears and live more fully in the present. He outlines a nine-part meditation exercise to help individuals process their fears about career decline, emphasizing that these feelings are normal and part of life. Ultimately, he encourages people to manage their lives like projects, recognizing that change is inevitable and that new opportunities can arise even after the end of a successful career.

الخريطة الذهنية

فيديو أسئلة وأجوبة

  • What is the main topic of Arthur Brooks' talk?

    The main topic is the impact of identity politics on personal and professional identities, particularly the fear of failure.

  • What exercise does Arthur Brooks recommend for overcoming fear of failure?

    He recommends a nine-part meditation inspired by Buddhist practices to confront fears of losing one's professional identity.

  • How does Brooks suggest people view their professional identity?

    He suggests that people should recognize that their professional identity is not permanent and that they need to be comfortable with change.

  • What is the purpose of the Maranasati death meditation?

    The purpose is to help individuals confront their mortality and the fear of losing their identity, allowing them to live more fully in the present.

  • What does Brooks say about the inevitability of change in life?

    He emphasizes that good times will not last forever and that individuals must engineer new good times under different circumstances.

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الترجمات
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التمرير التلقائي:
  • 00:00:00
    [MUSIC PLAYING]
  • 00:00:05
    ARTHUR BROOKS: These days, you can't get anywhere
  • 00:00:07
    without having a big argument about identity politics.
  • 00:00:10
    I'm this.
  • 00:00:11
    You're that.
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    I'm a Democrat.
  • 00:00:12
    You're a Republican.
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    I'm a liberal, you're a conservative,
  • 00:00:15
    whatever it happens to be.
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    And those sorts of identities are critically important.
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    A lot of people in business--
  • 00:00:20
    they shy away from those identity politics discussions,
  • 00:00:23
    but they have identity politics all their own.
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    They have an identity as a successful person.
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    They have an identity that revolves around their excellence
  • 00:00:33
    in their job.
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    Who are you?
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    A father and a grandfather.
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    I'm a husband.
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    But when people ask me that question, I say,
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    I'm a professor at the Harvard Business School.
  • 00:00:43
    Why?
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    Because that's my identity.
  • 00:00:45
    OK.
  • 00:00:46
    That's a way to identify myself, to be sure.
  • 00:00:48
    But if that's how I see me, that's a real problem, isn't it?
  • 00:00:52
    That strips away the really important things
  • 00:00:54
    that I have in my life.
  • 00:00:56
    For those who see their identity as being a successful
  • 00:00:59
    professional-- specifically successful--
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    that's an identity based on fear, isn't it?
  • 00:01:06
    We all have fears.
  • 00:01:07
    I mean, I have fears.
  • 00:01:09
    It's normal to be afraid of things.
  • 00:01:11
    But a fear of an attack on your identity, that's
  • 00:01:14
    actually a death fear.
  • 00:01:16
    That's important.
  • 00:01:17
    Only 20% of the population is actually afraid of dying.
  • 00:01:20
    But a lot of people who are really good at what they do--
  • 00:01:22
    a lot of my students, a lot of the people watching this--
  • 00:01:25
    they're desperately afraid of failing at work.
  • 00:01:28
    That leads to a lot of behavior that's
  • 00:01:31
    not very healthy, as a matter of fact-- that stripped down,
  • 00:01:34
    cardboard cutout version of oneself,
  • 00:01:37
    which is not good for you, it's not good for your relationships.
  • 00:01:39
    People ask me this all the time, who are extremely successful
  • 00:01:42
    in business, as a matter of fact, who are afraid of failure.
  • 00:01:44
    And they say, look, I need to get over this,
  • 00:01:47
    but I don't want to fail.
  • 00:01:49
    What do you recommend?
  • 00:01:50
    I actually have an exercise for that.
  • 00:01:52
    It's called the Maranasati death meditation, adapted
  • 00:01:56
    for professional failure.
  • 00:01:58
    It actually comes from Theravada Buddhism
  • 00:02:00
    on the southern tier of Asia, where
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    the Buddhists would practice a contemplation
  • 00:02:05
    of their own death.
  • 00:02:07
    If you go into a Buddhist monastery
  • 00:02:08
    in Thailand, or Vietnam, or Myanmar, Sri Lanka,
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    you'll often find that the walls are
  • 00:02:16
    adorned with photos of corpses in different states of decay.
  • 00:02:20
    And you're like, wow, that's really morbid.
  • 00:02:22
    It's not, it turns out.
  • 00:02:24
    What happens is that the monks and nuns will contemplate
  • 00:02:27
    those photos and they will look at each one and say, that is me
  • 00:02:32
    and that is me.
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    And they'll go through this Maranasati nine-part death
  • 00:02:36
    meditation where they contemplate
  • 00:02:38
    different stages of a body and a body in different states
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    of decomposition.
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    They'll say, that's me, that's going to be me.
  • 00:02:44
    That's me.
  • 00:02:44
    Why?
  • 00:02:44
    Because they're exposing themselves
  • 00:02:46
    to the truth of their own mortality such that
  • 00:02:49
    they can transcend it and actually
  • 00:02:51
    be fully alive right now.
  • 00:02:52
    You see how healthy that is, right?
  • 00:02:54
    Well, for people who are desperately
  • 00:02:56
    afraid of the death of their identity as a successful person,
  • 00:03:01
    they need to be exposed to that reality as well.
  • 00:03:05
    Because the truth of the matter is--
  • 00:03:06
    I don't care who's watching this,
  • 00:03:08
    I don't care how successful you are--
  • 00:03:09
    the party is going to finish, man.
  • 00:03:12
    It's not going to last forever.
  • 00:03:14
    And you have to be comfortable with that so you can fully
  • 00:03:17
    be alive and involved in what's going on in your life
  • 00:03:20
    today, otherwise, you'll be immobilized
  • 00:03:22
    by the fear of something that paradoxically,
  • 00:03:26
    is the most normal, most predictable thing
  • 00:03:29
    in your whole life, which is this is going to stop.
  • 00:03:33
    I recommend putting together a little nine-part meditation
  • 00:03:36
    where you say starting off saying,
  • 00:03:38
    I feel like I'm losing my edge at work.
  • 00:03:41
    I don't know.
  • 00:03:43
    My decision-making isn't as crisp
  • 00:03:44
    as it once was and people are starting to notice it.
  • 00:03:48
    Step two might be people are starting
  • 00:03:52
    to make remarks about the fact that I'm losing a step.
  • 00:03:56
    Step three might be I'm thinking the board is starting
  • 00:04:01
    to talk about my replacement and they're not including me
  • 00:04:05
    in the discussions.
  • 00:04:08
    Step four is I'm pretty sure that the end is
  • 00:04:11
    coming for my career.
  • 00:04:12
    I'm pretty sure.
  • 00:04:13
    I don't want it to come, but I'm pretty sure it's coming.
  • 00:04:17
    Step five is I've just gotten the word that I have to retire,
  • 00:04:22
    even though it's not what I wanted to do.
  • 00:04:26
    Step six might be.
  • 00:04:28
    Yeah, I kind of got forced out.
  • 00:04:31
    And the worst part is I don't think people remember me
  • 00:04:34
    for what I used to do.
  • 00:04:36
    They just think of me as the guy who got
  • 00:04:39
    who got forced out of the job.
  • 00:04:41
    Step seven is I just went back to my workplace and--
  • 00:04:46
    it's only six months--
  • 00:04:48
    but a lot of people are new and they didn't know who I am.
  • 00:04:52
    Step eight is I moved away and now the people that I talk to--
  • 00:04:57
    they just think of me as a retired person.
  • 00:05:00
    They don't even-- they don't even
  • 00:05:01
    ask about what I used to do.
  • 00:05:04
    And step nine might be, most days I don't even
  • 00:05:07
    think about what I used to do.
  • 00:05:10
    I'm just living a different life at this point.
  • 00:05:12
    Now, I realize that sounds really negative, but it isn't.
  • 00:05:17
    It's normal.
  • 00:05:19
    Think about those things for two minutes each.
  • 00:05:21
    Do that for three weeks and you'll be a different person.
  • 00:05:24
    Why?
  • 00:05:24
    Not because you failed--
  • 00:05:26
    that's not even failure, by
  • 00:05:27
    The way.
  • 00:05:28
    Just normal life.
  • 00:05:30
    You will no longer be afraid.
  • 00:05:32
    You will no longer be afraid of these things actually happening
  • 00:05:35
    to you because they will have happened to you in your mind.
  • 00:05:37
    They will have happened to you in your heart.
  • 00:05:39
    And you'll be comfortable with the fact
  • 00:05:40
    that you have a trajectory of your success and the value
  • 00:05:42
    that you're trying to create.
  • 00:05:44
    And when it's over, you're going to submit
  • 00:05:46
    because that's the only choice.
  • 00:05:48
    And then you'll be at peace.
  • 00:05:51
    Everybody needs to manage their own life like a project
  • 00:05:55
    and understand that your skills and interests are going
  • 00:05:58
    to change, to do things on purpose,
  • 00:06:02
    to recognize that the good times are not going to last forever.
  • 00:06:05
    And you have to engineer new good times
  • 00:06:07
    under different circumstances.
  • 00:06:09
    That's now what I talk about with people
  • 00:06:11
    who are getting older, and that's
  • 00:06:12
    the advice I'm taking for myself.
  • 00:06:13
    And, I don't know, I--
  • 00:06:16
    I'm actually at peace for the first time in a long time.
  • 00:06:19
    [MUSIC PLAYING]
الوسوم
  • identity politics
  • fear of failure
  • Buddhist meditation
  • professional identity
  • personal growth
  • mortality
  • success
  • change
  • self-worth
  • life management