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The Emperor's New Clothes
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Once upon a time there was an emperor.
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He had a big round belly
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bushy eyebrows
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and a very long moustache.
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But he was very vain.
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All he thought about was himself.
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“I am so wonderful!” he would say.
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Look at my wonderful eyebrows!
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Look at my excellent moustache!
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I look marvellous!
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The emperor loved to wear fancy clothes
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He had four-hundred fancy shirts
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three-hundred pairs of fancy pants
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and one-thousand pairs of fancy socks.
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The emperor also loved to say fancy words, like...
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"Empirical"
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"Cantankerous"
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"Discombobulate"
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He didn’t know what the fancy words meant
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but he liked to say them anyway.
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He liked to sound INTELLIGENT.
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“I am so INTELLIGENT!” he said.
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I am a GENIUS!
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One day, a man arrived at the palace.
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He said that he was a tailor.
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He said he could make the fanciest clothes in the land.
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But really, this man was a dishonest man.
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He earned his money by fooling rich people.
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The tailor brought the emperor ten suitcases.
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Your most majestic and INTELLIGENT majesty...
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he said
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Everybody knows that you are the most INTELLIGENT man in the world.
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And I have created some amazing new clothes.
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These clothes are only for INTELLIGENT people.
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In fact, stupid people cannot even see these clothes...
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The emperor clapped his hands.
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Amazing!
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With these clothes I can know who is smart and who is stupid!
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I will never be bothered by idiots again!
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Let me try these clothes!
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The tailor undressed the emperor until he stood only in his underpants.
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He unpacked his tape measure.
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He measured the emperor’s arms
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legs
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shoulders
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and all around his big round belly
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The tailor reached inside one of the suitcases.
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No...no... this one is too big.
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No… this one is too small.
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Ahh! This one is perfect!
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He pretended to lift a shirt out of the suitcase.
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“What do you think?” said the tailor.
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The emperor gasped.
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He could not see anything!
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“Isn’t it wonderful?” said the tailor.
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And remember…
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Only intelligent people will be able to see it!
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The tailor reached into his suitcase again.
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Look at these pants! Aren’t they beautiful?
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And they are completely invisible to idiots!
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And look at this jacket!
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See the colours?
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A complete nincompoop will see absolutely nothing!
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“Oh, oh, yes… very nice!” stammered the emperor.
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But he was confused.
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Why couldn’t he see the clothes?
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“Surely it’s not possible that I am an idiot?!” he thought.
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A complete moron would not know fancy words like...
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"Vestibule"
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"Crepuscular"
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"Flibbertigibbet"
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But the emperor said nothing.
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The tailor pretended to dress the emperor
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in the invisible shirt, pants, jacket, and shoes.
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The emperor stood in front of the mirror.
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He wanted to see the clothes
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but all he saw was his big, round belly
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and his underpants
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"I’m not sure that it’s really my style…" said the emperor
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But let me get a second opinion.
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The emperor called three of his most INTELLIGENT friends into the room.
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Friends! What do you think of these new clothes?
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Only INTELLIGENT people can see these clothes.
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Stupid people see nothing at all!
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Of course, his friends didn’t see anything either.
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But they did not want to look stupid.
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“Oh, yes! That is a great shirt!” said the first friend.
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“Yes! The pants are the perfect color,” said the second friend.
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"Cool shoes!" said the third friend.
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The emperor was excited.
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I will wear these new clothes in the parade tomorrow!
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The emperor gave the tailor a lot of money.
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The tailor left the palace with ten suitcases full of gold.
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When he was safely in his carriage, he laughed long and hard.
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"What a doofus!"
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That night, the Emperor did not sleep.
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He stayed up late,
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reading the biggest, heaviest books in his library.
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I just need a few more fancy words...
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THEN I’ll be able to see my clothes!
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he thought.
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In the morning, two servants came to the Emperor's room to dress him for the parade.
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Of course, they couldn’t see any clothes either.
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But they said nothing.
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They did not want to look stupid.
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They pretended to dress the emperor in invisible pants,
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invisible shirt
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invisible jacket
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and an invisible hat.
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The emperor looked at himself in the mirror.
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He stared and he squinted.
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He turned his head left and right.
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And … wait!
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... There it was!
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Out of the corner of his eye,
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he thought he saw a slight shimmering fabric.
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A checkered pattern.
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A tiny bit of colour.
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He could see the clothes!
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In reality, there were no clothes.
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But we often see what we want to see.
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The emperor was happy that he could finally see the clothes.
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“Let’s join the parade!” he shouted.
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Everybody from the town was at the parade.
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All the intelligent people were there:
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All the scientists.
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All the writers.
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All the teachers.
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And all the children.
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The emperor stood in his open carriage and waved to the crowd.
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But as the emperor’s carriage drove down the street,
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the crowd fell silent.
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The music stopped.
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Everybody stared at the emperor.
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“These clothes must be AMAZING...” thought the emperor.
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But then, from the back of the crowd,
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a small child yelled:
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“Mummy, I can see his underpants!”
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Everybody gasped.
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Then there were a few giggles.
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And then everyone on the street laughed —
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— and laughed —
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— and laughed even harder.
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They clapped and shouted:
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UN-DER-PANTS! UN-DER-PANTS!
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The emperor heard the crowd laugh.
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He knew he had been fooled.
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He wasn’t wearing special clothes.
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He was wearing NOTHING!
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— only his underpants.
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He jumped out of the carriage and ran all the way back to the palace.
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Behind him, he heard:
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“UN-DER-PANTS! UN-DER-PANTS!”
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He ran to his bedroom and slammed the door.
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Later, when his friends found him,
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he was lying on his bed.
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He was wearing all his REAL clothes:
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all his fancy shirts
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all his fancy pants
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and all one-thousand pairs of fancy socks.
