Be Confident: Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence & Income | Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]

Mel Robbins introduces the topic of appearing more confident by using hacks, tips, and tricks. The episode promises to cover various topics, including making a strong impression on others.

Mel introduces Vanessa van Edwards, a behavioral investigator and an expert on charisma, communication, confidence, and influence. Vanessa promises to teach how to appear confident using learned cues, which are not inherently tied to personality traits.

Vanessa explains that charisma is the most important attribute for success. Contrary to common beliefs, charisma is not related to extroversion or physical traits but can be developed through specific social signals of warmth and competence.

Vanessa, who identifies as a "recovering awkward person," shares her personal struggle with charisma. She highlights the misconception that charisma is inherent only to extroverts, but it can be learned irrespective of one's natural disposition.

Charisma is not dependent on personality or physical appeal but on signals of warmth (trust and likability) and competence (capability). Vanessa explains that highly charismatic people balance these signals, making them approachable and reliable.

Vanessa discusses Oprah as an example of charisma due to her ability to balance warmth and competency. She contrasts this with figures like Steve Jobs, who was high in competence but low in warmth, affecting his likeability and teamwork perception.

Charismatic people switch between warmth and competence cues depending on the situation. Warm people might struggle with being taken seriously, while competent individuals may be perceived as cold. A balance is essential for success.

Mel and Vanessa delve into how charisma affects influence, stating that charismatic individuals are more likely to be trusted, liked, and relied upon, boosting their influence, impact, and income.

Positivity and warmth in communication make one more contagious, increasing influence. Vanessa emphasizes that people constantly send signals, intentional or not, and introducing positive cues can alter perceptions.

Charisma accounts for 82% of how people are evaluated, covering personal interactions, LinkedIn profiles, Zoom calls, emails, etc. Vanessa encourages understanding how to send warmth and competence cues purposefully for positive evaluation.

To understand personal charisma, Vanessa suggests taking online diagnostics and asking others (a 360 review) for their perspectives. Recording and coding zoom calls can reveal accidental non-verbal cues indicating warmth or competence.

In virtual meetings, initial gestures like showing hands and maintaining an appropriate camera distance are crucial. The vocal tone should avoid up-talking, which undermines perceived competency, introducing professional vocal presence.

Mel and Vanessa discuss 'coding,' where recording and analyzing one’s Zoom calls can reveal non-verbal habits that impact communication negatively or positively. Analyzing these cues helps in decoding personal communication tendencies.

Gestures enhance communication, indicating confidence and memorability. Highly viewed TED Talks, for instance, use more gestures to connect with the audience. In contrast, less popular ones use fewer expressive gestures.

Smile authentically to project genuine warmth. Fake smiles do not elicit the desired warmth and can appear inauthentic. Genuine cues, like nodding and vocalizations indicating active listening, enhance warmth perception.

In emails, break conventional manners by using warm and dynamic language, which influences perceptions and encourages collaboration. Carefully choosing words can increase an email's impact, urging desired emotional and behavioral responses.

Physical cues like eye contact and mirroring body movements during interactions can foster a sense of connection and mutual understanding, enhancing perceived charisma and influence in both social and professional scenarios.

Understanding personal lying and nervousness tells helps in aligning one’s body language with truthful expression. Knowing these can prevent unintended signals that can hinder communication and trust-building.