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so my friend and I are out doing some
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cold approaching with women just for fun
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just to test our confidence a little bit
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but we have a spin on it which I'll get
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to in a minute and it's probably my
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third or fourth girl at this point that
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I'm talking to I walk up to this girl
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and I try and start a conversation with
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her but she is just fixated on her phone
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her eyes are locked on she doesn't even
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look at me in the eye once she's giving
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me like one two word three word
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responses to my questions she does not
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want to talk to me and that reminded me
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that if you are not a good listener in a
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conversation you are not a good
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communicator it is the most important
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thing but this girl was not listening to
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me for a reason which I'll get to in a
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minute when you are in conversations
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with somebody when you're listening to
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me right now I want you to find the key
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words of my conversation and by simply
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doing this what I do this all the time I
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simply reiterate what somebody just said
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let's say you're talking about going on
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a Hol of barley oh yeah bro last week I
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went on a Hol of barley and it was
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awesome man you would simply say bar
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tell me more about it I haven't been
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there I know this might sound really
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strange or just too simple but trust me
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this works if you take the key words out
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of somebody's conversation and you
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simply repeat them but say it in a tone
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that you know asks as a question to them
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Chi bro your your conversations will
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flow much more natur natural I do this
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all the time and the reason I say that
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first is because if you are not a good
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listener when you speak to people you're
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not going to be a good communicator
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listening is the foundation to the house
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if that is not built your communication
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aka the house is just going to collapse
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it's the foundation nobody sees it but
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it reflects in the ability to build a
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great house and that is the ability to
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you know communicate but let's go back
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to that day when I was going out and
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cold approaching women for the first
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time with my friend the night before
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that we'll playing some PlayStation
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together and it was a Friday night and
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I'm like bro you want to meet up
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tomorrow play some basketball or
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whatever and he suggested how about we
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meet up and we Cod approach some women
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together and bro my heart started
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beating as soon as he said that because
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if I said no I just said I was free all
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day if I said no I was a if I said
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yes I just put myself in the most
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uncomfortable situation ever I haven't
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really done this before I am super
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scared I said yes I didn't want to be a
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but I suggested an idea that made
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the whole cold approaching process so
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much easier and so much less daunting I
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suggested to him how about we go up and
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talk to women we act as awkward as we
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possibly can in front of them this gets
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rid of the need to perform the anxiety
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to perform in front of a girl if you st
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in a conversation right if your face
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goes red or you have that awkward
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silence all of this doesn't matter
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simply because the goal of talking to
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women because the goal of talking to
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people is to be as awkward as you
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possibly can that is the challenge and
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whenever the conversation was coming to
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an end I would simply say to them hey
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that was a complete joke I was trying to
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act as awkward as I possibly can while I
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was talking to my friend and I just
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doing some stupid jokes and sometimes
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the conversation would end there or that
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would be a gateway to actually getting
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to know this girl no but in all
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seriousness I want to get to know you
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what's your name or whatever if I
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haven't you know asked her your her name
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yet but you don't need to do that you
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can just end the conversation there if
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you want this does a very very good job
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at getting your mind used to being
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rejected because when you become used to
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being rejected you can go up and talk to
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girls without very much fear if I went
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out and did that cold approaching thing
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again it it's it is not as daunting as I
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did the first time but bro no jokes if
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you struggle with talking to women that
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much that you can't even say a word to
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them grab one of your buddies if you
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have one if you don't have one join an
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online community or something like that
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get one of the dudes in that Community
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from your area you schedule a day go out
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there do this challenge with him and get
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your mind used to rejection look bro I
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know it sounds you're just going to
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embarrass yourself but man it is one of
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the best things I've ever done and I can
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say that with pure confidence all right
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and once you do this once you start to
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feel com like comfortable getting
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rejected then actually try and talk to
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girls and on top of that another thing
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that has really helped my communication
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and just my confidence in general is
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when I'm out you know going shopping or
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just I'm somewhere in public right and I
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see a store that I I have like a semi
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interest in there might be a product in
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there that you know I find interesting
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and it's not packed with people that I
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can just go in there and the owner or
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the person that the the register just
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says hi to me I will go in there and
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just simply ask a question about a
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certain product that I find interesting
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and that is such a good way to come up
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with a conversational idea you and this
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person probably have something in common
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if they're working there they probably
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know something about this product as
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well if you like video games go and
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talk to the guy standing at EB
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Games or GameStop about a certain game
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that you find interesting right just go
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and do that it doesn't need to lead
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anywhere it simply helps you build your
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confidence this is for people who are
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extremely scared of going outside
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because I know that's a lot of you this
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is what I would do those two things
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start with the you know start with the
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conversation in the in the store thing
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and once you know you kind of build your
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confidence up a bit that you can
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intentionally embarrass yourself go out
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and intentionally embarrass yourself but
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there's been a few women in my life that
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I've actually had to perform for and
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that sounds really really wrong but you
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get what I mean by that I can't go up to
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them and act as awkward as I possibly
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can right if I want to date this girl I
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need to be at my best and might be your
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crush at school your crush at work it
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might just be an attractive girl across
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the street that you want to take out in
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the date when you need to be the best
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you these are the two things I have for
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you number one and most importantly you
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need to be especially if you know this
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girl like a crush at school for example
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you need to be the dude that actually
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attracts this person right you can't be
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a dude who sits in his room all day
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jacking off four times a day and expect
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you know I don't like to say this cuz I
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don't really like to compare people but
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a high value girl right a girl that is
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high value to you if that makes sense I
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that's probably not the best wording but
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you get what I mean by that you need to
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be the person that this girl or this guy
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finds attractive not just physically but
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Also spiritually as your character your
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personality so many things all you can
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do is be the best version of yourself
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the best version of you and usually that
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is attractive to a lot of people the
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second thing I have for you don't force
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anything especially if you know this
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person personally if I had a crush at
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school right now I don't but if I did I
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would not force anything I would not try
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and force a conversation because
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someone's absence makes their presence
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valuable and I want you to remember that
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that doesn't mean that when an
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opportunity arises you do not take it
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however don't force anything and that's
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like the last day of school and you have
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no other chance to get with this girl
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then you have to kind of force something
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but if you know that you will see this
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girl every single day for a couple more
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months or a couple more years speak to
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her yes but spend the majority of your
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time from my just from my personal
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experiences someone else might have a
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different experience and they completely
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disagree with me spend the majority of
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your time becoming the person she would
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actually be attracted to aka the best
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you it's all it's all you can do you
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can't be anyone else because bro you are
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the prize I'm specifically talking to
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men here but this can apply to women as
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well you know the woman or the man is
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isn't anything below you however you are
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the priz and you have to Value yourself
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like this and that's why I don't want
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you to force anything when you walk past
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her just say hey name if there is an
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opening for a conversation take it if
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she's talking to you use that technique
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I Shar with you at the start of this
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video Yeah reiterate what she's saying
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to go deeper into that conversation one
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more thing actually one more thing when
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you do talk to this specific person I
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don't want you to seek validation from
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them I don't want the point of the
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conversation the purpose of that
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conversation to be for validation from
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her right I want you just to speak to
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him or her just because you can just for
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human connection right nothing you need
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to prove you don't need any admiration
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from this person because once you put
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that pressure on yourself when then
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that's when you start up you
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start stuttering right your face starts
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going red because the aim of the
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conversation has a lot of pressure built
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inside of it Focus your energy on truly
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connecting again that technique I shared
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with you at the side of this video is a
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very very very good way to do that but
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you can only do that when you're halfway
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through a conversation when there
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actually is an idea I know if a girl
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asks me this I would love it people love
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talking about themselves so if you're in
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a conversation with somebody I want you
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to ask this one question tell me
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something about you that I should know
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what makes you special what makes you
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unique what makes you different than
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everybody else yeah you might not say
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this one off rip you you're looking at a
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girl sitting on the Ben you walk up to
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her you sit down next to her and you say
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hey tell me something about yourself
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that makes you different like but
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especially when you're in a flow this is
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a really really good one and any deep
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conversation right that really touches
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with the person's character their
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personality their values their beliefs
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their morals all these things that
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really attend to somebody's deep
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personality traits they are very very
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good cuz it goes deep into who they
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actually are and people love talking
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about that bro trust me I know this
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sounds really really wrong and I've said
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this word so many times but the deeper
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you go the better someone's going to
00:10:03
take that out of context heavy but who
00:10:06
who gives a but with all
00:10:07
seriousness the best conversation
00:10:09
starters at least from my personal
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experience are the most natural ones
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okay the ones that aren't really forced
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the one I told you before it kind of is
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a little bit forced and sometimes you
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need to do that but the best ones are
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the most natural from my personal
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experiences if I don't have a
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conversation starter I don't start the
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conversation
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if I'm cold approaching then yeah I
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might need to think of one right that
00:10:33
isn't really natural but especially at
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school or work or if you see this girl
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regularly if you see this guy regularly
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Don't Force anything because people can
00:10:43
see that and maybe some people like it
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cuz they love the attention that just
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signals to them that you don't value
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yourself and I know if a girl doesn't
00:10:51
value her herself and she needs me I'm
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not as attracted to her and that's how a
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pure love and respect doesn't mean I
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think anything less of this woman but
00:11:00
when you do find that natural
00:11:02
conversation start or you just haveing
00:11:03
in your mind take action Breo yeah if
00:11:05
you're feeling really really confident
00:11:07
on one day do as much talking as you can
00:11:09
not too much cuz again two ears one
00:11:12
mouth speak less than you listen but if
00:11:16
you're feeling confident take action all
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right I'm not perfect I still have a
00:11:20
long way to go I'm only 18 I don't get
00:11:22
to do much socializing so I'm not the
00:11:25
best at it but from my personal
00:11:26
experiences this is what's really helped
00:11:28
me become a better Communicator remember
00:11:30
listening is the most important think of
00:11:32
that the foundation to the house if you
00:11:34
do not have that built which is your
00:11:36
listening the whole house will collapse
00:11:38
which is your communication skills hey
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I'm going to end the video here I think
00:11:41
that's all I have to say make sure you
00:11:42
take action on this not just watch this
00:11:44
video okay and I'll catch you in the
00:11:47
next one peace
