the ultimate guide to situationships...

00:21:43
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ4ZmGfWoa0

Zusammenfassung

TLDRThe video addresses the phenomenon of 'situationships,' which are romantic relationships without commitment or labels. The speaker expresses strong opposition to these arrangements due to their emotionally draining nature and lack of fulfillment. They argue that being in a situationship prevents individuals from reaching their full potential and finding truly loving relationships. Throughout the video, the speaker offers insights and advice on how to recognize the downsides of situationships and move past them. Emphasizing self-worth and the importance of setting personal standards, the speaker encourages listeners to break free from the pattern of situationships by practicing self-love, understanding personal value, and learning from past experiences. The speaker also discusses the online therapy service Better Help, highlighting its benefits in promoting mental well-being. Ultimately, the video aims to empower viewers to leave behind unhealthy relationships and pursue more rewarding and committed partnerships.

Mitbringsel

  • ๐Ÿ’ฌ Situationships are emotionally draining and unfulfilling.
  • ๐Ÿ›‘ Avoiding situationships by valuing your worth and setting standards.
  • ๐ŸŒน Practicing self-love enhances relationship experiences.
  • ๐Ÿค Partnerships should offer commitment, not just emotional access.
  • ๐Ÿ’ก Awareness of personal patterns helps avoid repetitive mistakes.
  • ๐Ÿง  Therapy can aid in understanding and moving past emotional issues.
  • ๐Ÿšช The 'no contact' rule assists in moving on from breakups.
  • ๐Ÿ”„ Shifting mindset from 'what ifs' to appreciating self-value.
  • ๐Ÿ Embracing alone time strengthens independence and identity.
  • โค๏ธ Self-obsession promotes awareness of personal values and boundaries.

Zeitleiste

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker initially hesitates to make a video about situationships but decides to do so as 2025 approaches. They argue that situationships are emotionally draining and below basic relationship standards, preventing personal growth and true love. The speaker aims to end the cycle of situationships and provides personal development resources, including books and online therapy, to help viewers overcome these relationships.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The speaker discusses the emotional investment in situationships, highlighting the imbalance where one party invests much emotionally while the other benefits without commitment. They emphasize that situationships lead to false hopes and stress the importance of recognizing one's worth and avoiding situations where commitment is lacking. The speaker encourages self-reflection and understanding that a person's lack of commitment reflects their own limitations, not the worthiness of the other person.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    The speaker suggests visualizing the consequences of staying in a situationship, stressing that missing out on fulfilling relationships is a cost. They advise letting go of "what if" scenarios, internalize the situationโ€™s reality, and emphasize self-worth. The speaker encourages feelings to be fully experienced for healing and suggests going no contact to aid the process. The narrative pushes towards focusing on personal growth beyond unhealthy relationships.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:21:43

    The final chapter advises adopting a self-obsessed mindset to understand one's value, encouraging self-love, independence, and understanding past behaviors that led to situationships. The speaker highlights the need to break patterns that bring unfulfilling relationships and stresses personal growth. The video concludes with a passionate call to leave situationships in the past and embrace healthier relationship standards, encouraging community growth and empowerment.

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Mind Map

Video-Fragen und Antworten

  • What is a situationship?

    A situationship is an undefined romantic relationship that lacks commitment and labels.

  • Why is the speaker opposed to situationships?

    The speaker finds them emotionally draining, unfulfilling, and hindering to personal growth and potential relationships.

  • Who sponsored the video and what do they offer?

    Online therapy service Better Help sponsored the video, offering accessible mental health services.

  • What advice is given to move on from a situationship?

    The speaker emphasizes self-worth, understanding personal needs, and moving on from unhealthy relationships.

  • What does 'get the ick for good' mean?

    It refers to the speaker's advice to see the negative aspects of situationships and avoid them in the future.

  • Does the speaker share any personal experiences in the video?

    Yes, the speaker shares a personal experience of getting over a difficult breakup through the 'no contact' rule.

  • Who benefits from a situationship according to the speaker?

    They mainly benefit one person by providing emotional access without commitment, leaving the other party unfulfilled.

  • How does self-awareness help in dealing with situationships?

    Self-awareness and understanding one's patterns contribute to personal growth and avoiding similar future situations.

  • How can one maintain happiness and avoid situationships?

    By avoiding situations that lower energy, mood, and overall happiness.

  • How does self-love relate to situationships?

    Self-love helps in setting standards and understanding one's value, reducing the likelihood of settling for less.

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Automatisches Blรคttern:
  • 00:00:02
    I swore I would never make this video
  • 00:00:04
    but finally I've decided to because it's
  • 00:00:07
    almost big 2025 it's literally just
  • 00:00:10
    around the corner and for some reason
  • 00:00:12
    the conversation around situationships
  • 00:00:15
    still exists people still want advice on
  • 00:00:19
    how I I just can't I can't and so I've
  • 00:00:22
    decided to make this video to once and
  • 00:00:24
    for all finish the conversation around
  • 00:00:25
    situationships before we enter a whole
  • 00:00:27
    new year so listen up and disc cler if
  • 00:00:30
    you are here because you think I'm going
  • 00:00:31
    to give you advice on how to make a
  • 00:00:33
    situationship work or give you
  • 00:00:34
    reassurance in the situation you are
  • 00:00:36
    very very wrong why am I so opposed to
  • 00:00:39
    situationships you ask well they are
  • 00:00:41
    extremely emotionally draining they
  • 00:00:42
    aren't even the bare minimum standard
  • 00:00:44
    they are several steps below that they
  • 00:00:47
    leave you unfulfilled keep you from your
  • 00:00:48
    true potential and the true love and
  • 00:00:50
    relationship that you could have had at
  • 00:00:52
    the core of a situationship you
  • 00:00:53
    essentially have to sell yourself short
  • 00:00:55
    and I'm so sick of seeing so many
  • 00:00:57
    gorgeous girls doing themselves this
  • 00:00:58
    disservice and the thing is so many of
  • 00:01:00
    you know that situationships are wrong
  • 00:01:02
    that's the whole reason why you were
  • 00:01:03
    probably searching this on social media
  • 00:01:04
    or why you even clicked on this video
  • 00:01:06
    because you want a solution you want a
  • 00:01:08
    better reality but you can't find it
  • 00:01:10
    within you to be able to find the
  • 00:01:12
    solution and the answer and the strength
  • 00:01:13
    to move on and well that's what I'm here
  • 00:01:16
    for and before I get right into the
  • 00:01:17
    video of giving you the ick around
  • 00:01:18
    situationships beating them for good and
  • 00:01:20
    basically giving you all the mindset
  • 00:01:21
    ships you need to level up and never be
  • 00:01:23
    in that situation again be sure to check
  • 00:01:25
    out all of the links Below in my
  • 00:01:26
    descriptions where you can catch up with
  • 00:01:27
    me and my self-development content on
  • 00:01:29
    literally every other platform I upload
  • 00:01:31
    daily literally everywhere I have two
  • 00:01:33
    other YouTube channels one of which
  • 00:01:34
    includes my podcast I have an entire
  • 00:01:36
    book teaching you about self love and it
  • 00:01:38
    even talks a little bit about
  • 00:01:39
    situationships in there it's available
  • 00:01:41
    to order worldwide on Amazon and lastly
  • 00:01:43
    I'd like to give a big thank you to
  • 00:01:45
    better help who have brought this video
  • 00:01:47
    to you guys because they are the paid
  • 00:01:48
    partners of this video if you don't know
  • 00:01:50
    what better help is it's basically an
  • 00:01:51
    online therapy service which helps you
  • 00:01:53
    take your mental health and your
  • 00:01:54
    well-being to the next level from the
  • 00:01:56
    comfort of your own home and this is
  • 00:01:58
    because you can actually take your
  • 00:01:59
    therapy session via phone call video
  • 00:02:01
    chat or even messaging their mission is
  • 00:02:03
    to make therapy super accessible
  • 00:02:05
    comfortable and according to your
  • 00:02:06
    preferences all you have to do to get
  • 00:02:08
    started is fell out a few questions to
  • 00:02:09
    help assess your specific needs and then
  • 00:02:11
    you'll get matched with your therapist
  • 00:02:12
    in most cases within 48 hours or less
  • 00:02:16
    and if the therapist you're first
  • 00:02:17
    matched with isn't quite the right fit
  • 00:02:19
    which can be super common in therapy
  • 00:02:20
    then you don't need to worry better help
  • 00:02:22
    will literally rematch you with a
  • 00:02:24
    different therapist at no extra cost I
  • 00:02:26
    think therapy so unnecessarily has a
  • 00:02:28
    stigma around it and a lot of people
  • 00:02:30
    don't realize that it literally doesn't
  • 00:02:31
    matter what you're going through I think
  • 00:02:33
    so many people can sell themselves short
  • 00:02:35
    on how bad their problems really are but
  • 00:02:37
    that's not actually the case when it
  • 00:02:38
    comes to therapy you could literally
  • 00:02:40
    just be struggling with an actual
  • 00:02:42
    situationship and you can go to therapy
  • 00:02:44
    because that person has all of the
  • 00:02:46
    qualifications all of the skills and is
  • 00:02:48
    going to have all of the right tools at
  • 00:02:50
    their disposal to help you through that
  • 00:02:51
    problem no matter how big or small it is
  • 00:02:54
    like why wouldn't you literally want to
  • 00:02:55
    go to the best source of information and
  • 00:02:58
    psychology and well-being being help
  • 00:03:00
    that you could possibly get no matter
  • 00:03:01
    what you're struggling with so that you
  • 00:03:02
    can finally level up into the best
  • 00:03:04
    version of yourself and if that sounds
  • 00:03:05
    like something that you really want to
  • 00:03:06
    do then consider online therapy with
  • 00:03:08
    betterhelp you can go to betterhelp.com
  • 00:03:10
    timecore to get 10% off your first month
  • 00:03:13
    of therapy with better help okay class
  • 00:03:15
    is in session let's get right into it
  • 00:03:17
    with giving you the I so that you will
  • 00:03:18
    finally put off situationships for good
  • 00:03:21
    okay so firstly I need you to realize
  • 00:03:23
    that a situationship brings all of the
  • 00:03:25
    benefits of a relationship without any
  • 00:03:27
    of the labels essentially you letting
  • 00:03:30
    somebody else gain complete access to
  • 00:03:32
    you to your feelings to your emotion to
  • 00:03:34
    your life without any of the commitment
  • 00:03:37
    or loyalty and let me tell you in case
  • 00:03:39
    you have forgotten you did not work on
  • 00:03:41
    yourself overcome all of your struggles
  • 00:03:43
    and adversities set yourself goals to
  • 00:03:45
    become better and aim to make your inner
  • 00:03:47
    Child Proud every single day just to let
  • 00:03:49
    somebody else who hasn't even earned you
  • 00:03:52
    gain complete access to you and
  • 00:03:54
    therefore gain the power to be able to
  • 00:03:56
    break you down ew my second point is
  • 00:03:59
    that the situation within a
  • 00:04:01
    situationship doesn't even exist so make
  • 00:04:04
    it make sense in a situationship you
  • 00:04:06
    basically feel like you're in a
  • 00:04:07
    relationship right you have all of the
  • 00:04:08
    same feelings you have all of the same
  • 00:04:10
    like thoughts in your head but the thing
  • 00:04:12
    is those are just feelings they're not
  • 00:04:14
    reality your feelings in this situation
  • 00:04:16
    are clowning your judgment to the point
  • 00:04:18
    that it is giving you false hope of a
  • 00:04:20
    reality that doesn't even exist not only
  • 00:04:23
    doesn't exist but isn't possible because
  • 00:04:25
    if it was possible you would already be
  • 00:04:28
    a girlfriend they would have displ
  • 00:04:29
    played romantic interest commitment and
  • 00:04:32
    loyalty and would have treated you as
  • 00:04:34
    such most importantly I think one of the
  • 00:04:36
    most common mistakes people make in a
  • 00:04:38
    situationship which makes them stay
  • 00:04:39
    there for so long is that you're not
  • 00:04:41
    actually observing what's happening in
  • 00:04:42
    the moment because you're too busy
  • 00:04:44
    daydreaming of a future that hasn't even
  • 00:04:46
    arrived yet to be brutally honest you
  • 00:04:48
    are more in love with the idea of the
  • 00:04:50
    person not the person themselves and the
  • 00:04:52
    idea of what you can have because in
  • 00:04:55
    actuality nothing has happened yet
  • 00:04:58
    meaning all of these things getting
  • 00:04:59
    feelings from it's not actually that
  • 00:05:01
    person it's you you're the one who's
  • 00:05:03
    putting the feelings to it you're the
  • 00:05:04
    one who's putting the mindset and the
  • 00:05:05
    emotions to it and that's not a bad
  • 00:05:07
    thing that just goes to show your energy
  • 00:05:09
    your intent your romance everything that
  • 00:05:12
    you can bring to a relationship which
  • 00:05:13
    guess what is going to follow you no
  • 00:05:14
    matter where you go especially when you
  • 00:05:16
    end up going to the right partner that's
  • 00:05:17
    going to treat you right this person
  • 00:05:19
    hasn't put anything on the table you're
  • 00:05:21
    doing all of it right in here and I get
  • 00:05:23
    what makes you stay sometimes they'll
  • 00:05:26
    act super interested they'll be super
  • 00:05:28
    romantic they'll tell you how much they
  • 00:05:29
    like you they'll even spend a lot of
  • 00:05:31
    time with you but their actions do not
  • 00:05:33
    match the so-called feelings that they
  • 00:05:36
    are attempting to show you they have not
  • 00:05:38
    proven themselves or treated you in
  • 00:05:40
    accordance to how much they say they
  • 00:05:42
    like you and this leads me into my third
  • 00:05:44
    Point that's going to help you get the
  • 00:05:45
    ick for good from situationships which
  • 00:05:47
    is that people can only meet you as far
  • 00:05:49
    as they have met themselves if somebody
  • 00:05:51
    else is choosing not to make an effort
  • 00:05:53
    not to make it official not to give you
  • 00:05:55
    commitment and loyalty and time and
  • 00:05:57
    effort that does not determine or
  • 00:05:59
    measure your value or your
  • 00:06:01
    attractiveness or your worthiness as a
  • 00:06:03
    person it is actually a reflection of
  • 00:06:06
    the level of depth that they have in the
  • 00:06:08
    relationship they have with themselves
  • 00:06:11
    and it goes back to what I said
  • 00:06:12
    previously all of these ideas of a
  • 00:06:13
    future you have with them all of this
  • 00:06:15
    romance everything that could be right
  • 00:06:16
    all of these good scenarios you've built
  • 00:06:18
    up in your head is a reflection of what
  • 00:06:20
    you bring to the table a reflection of
  • 00:06:21
    how positive your mindset is around
  • 00:06:24
    everything that you would bring to a
  • 00:06:25
    romantic relationship and with the way
  • 00:06:27
    they are showing up it just goes to show
  • 00:06:28
    they lack all of that you cannot expect
  • 00:06:31
    somebody who does not accept their own
  • 00:06:33
    emotions let alone be in tuned with it
  • 00:06:35
    enough to be able to show up for another
  • 00:06:37
    person that they claim they like so much
  • 00:06:38
    to be in tune with your emotions you
  • 00:06:40
    guys are never going to be a match on
  • 00:06:42
    any level my fourth ick point is that a
  • 00:06:45
    situationship only benefits one person
  • 00:06:48
    and that person is never going to be you
  • 00:06:50
    you are pouring so much into them and
  • 00:06:53
    they're not even giving you the bare
  • 00:06:54
    minimum of commitment and loyalty to you
  • 00:06:57
    that's like the first standard on the
  • 00:06:59
    bare minimum list so does that really
  • 00:07:02
    sound like a fair deal and this leads me
  • 00:07:04
    on to my fifth point which is that if I
  • 00:07:06
    had to make a metaphor out of what a
  • 00:07:08
    situationship is it would be the fact
  • 00:07:11
    that you are essentially letting this
  • 00:07:13
    other person just shop around they're
  • 00:07:15
    just shopping around wandering around
  • 00:07:16
    the store for hours on end just window
  • 00:07:18
    shopping just looking at things for the
  • 00:07:19
    sake of it instead of fully committing
  • 00:07:22
    and you are so much more valuable than
  • 00:07:24
    that and you should never ever be
  • 00:07:26
    anybody's second option you should be
  • 00:07:27
    the item in a Shop's window display that
  • 00:07:29
    is so effing good that it makes somebody
  • 00:07:31
    change their whole plan day because now
  • 00:07:32
    they have to go into that store and buy
  • 00:07:34
    the top immediately because they know
  • 00:07:35
    it's so effing good and will fit into
  • 00:07:37
    their life so eff and well also
  • 00:07:39
    situationships are just full of
  • 00:07:40
    confusion that's all they are and
  • 00:07:42
    anything that ever makes you feel
  • 00:07:44
    uncertain or uneasy in your life does
  • 00:07:46
    not deserve to stay there our main
  • 00:07:48
    mission in this life is just to be happy
  • 00:07:50
    is just to live a Content life that's
  • 00:07:51
    easy that gets us through every single
  • 00:07:53
    day that makes us happy with our
  • 00:07:54
    existence and the reality that we
  • 00:07:55
    experience every single day why are you
  • 00:07:57
    choosing to keep some in it which takes
  • 00:08:00
    you away from that mission which lowers
  • 00:08:01
    your energetic vibration your mood your
  • 00:08:03
    mental health and most importantly your
  • 00:08:05
    happiness doesn't make sense the right
  • 00:08:08
    things that align to you that you're
  • 00:08:09
    supposed to have in your life always
  • 00:08:10
    feel clear that's why you have got
  • 00:08:12
    instincts about things that's why you
  • 00:08:13
    have positive feelings about people and
  • 00:08:14
    then things work out but constantly
  • 00:08:16
    having to question somebody's feelings
  • 00:08:18
    about you is exhausting and such an
  • 00:08:20
    unfair daily ritual that you are taking
  • 00:08:23
    on for yourself that is draining your
  • 00:08:25
    energy and taking away your time and
  • 00:08:26
    effort which could so easily be spent on
  • 00:08:28
    other things that are going to benefit
  • 00:08:30
    you your happiness the people around you
  • 00:08:31
    and your future next I think it's really
  • 00:08:34
    important to say that yes this person
  • 00:08:35
    you're in a situationship with doesn't
  • 00:08:37
    have to be an evil bad person with
  • 00:08:39
    really negative intentions they're not
  • 00:08:42
    out here trying to take advantage of you
  • 00:08:44
    right maybe they just struggle in
  • 00:08:46
    relationships maybe they can't find the
  • 00:08:47
    right time maybe they're trying to work
  • 00:08:48
    on themselves but guess what it is not
  • 00:08:51
    healthy nor self-loving to put your own
  • 00:08:54
    needs and your own desires to the side
  • 00:08:56
    just to keep someone else in your life
  • 00:08:59
    because is what about what you want and
  • 00:09:01
    what about what you deserve and what
  • 00:09:02
    about what your standards are you are
  • 00:09:04
    pushing all of that aside just to make
  • 00:09:05
    room for somebody because they are in a
  • 00:09:07
    tougher place in their life but you are
  • 00:09:09
    suffering as a result of it and why
  • 00:09:11
    aren't they considering that in the way
  • 00:09:14
    that you consider them and their
  • 00:09:15
    struggles my eighth situationship ick
  • 00:09:18
    point is actually something that has
  • 00:09:19
    helped me get through so many breakups
  • 00:09:22
    and this is a little activity that I
  • 00:09:23
    want you to do real quick I want you to
  • 00:09:26
    imagine spending years like multiple
  • 00:09:28
    years of your life stuck in a
  • 00:09:30
    situationship with the same person never
  • 00:09:32
    getting out never eventually getting
  • 00:09:33
    into a relationship never moving on and
  • 00:09:35
    then after 2 or 3 years have passed I
  • 00:09:36
    want you to imagine that somebody sends
  • 00:09:38
    you a video that shows you what your
  • 00:09:40
    life would have been like if you didn't
  • 00:09:42
    spend those 2 to three years with that
  • 00:09:43
    person and what that video shows you is
  • 00:09:45
    you meeting the right person that ticked
  • 00:09:47
    off every single one of your standards
  • 00:09:49
    someone who is intentional who chooses
  • 00:09:51
    you who whn and D you who is such a
  • 00:09:53
    romantic who makes you laugh who helps
  • 00:09:55
    and encourages you to grow who adds
  • 00:09:57
    value to your life and most importantly
  • 00:09:59
    is working on themselves so much that
  • 00:10:00
    guess what they know what they want and
  • 00:10:03
    it makes you realize that instead of
  • 00:10:04
    wasting time on uncertainties and ifs
  • 00:10:08
    and buts and maybe you could have been
  • 00:10:11
    building a meaningful connection with
  • 00:10:13
    somebody who was committed to you from
  • 00:10:15
    the start now hopefully I think you do
  • 00:10:18
    have a complete ick around
  • 00:10:19
    situationships and you are so done even
  • 00:10:21
    entertaining the conversation around
  • 00:10:23
    them anymore or watching advice videos
  • 00:10:24
    on how to make them work ew now we can
  • 00:10:26
    move on to chapter number two which is
  • 00:10:28
    beating situations ship for good and
  • 00:10:30
    these are actions that you can Implement
  • 00:10:31
    literally right now like today to make
  • 00:10:33
    sure that you are never in this
  • 00:10:34
    situationship again you can ultimately
  • 00:10:36
    protect your mood your energy your
  • 00:10:38
    standards your life and step number one
  • 00:10:40
    is to let go of the wh ifs moving on
  • 00:10:43
    from a situationship is only hard
  • 00:10:44
    because you get attached to the
  • 00:10:46
    potential of what this relationship or
  • 00:10:48
    person could be but since we've already
  • 00:10:50
    gone through chapter number one of all
  • 00:10:51
    of the EGS now you're no longer
  • 00:10:53
    accepting or romanticizing the
  • 00:10:54
    situationship which means now it's
  • 00:10:56
    easier to move on from but just in case
  • 00:10:58
    that you do slip into Old patterns which
  • 00:11:00
    is completely fine okay healing is not a
  • 00:11:02
    linear Journey it happens to everybody
  • 00:11:04
    and you find yourself questioning but
  • 00:11:06
    what if this could happen or what if
  • 00:11:07
    they change or what if mm- we are going
  • 00:11:09
    to be super intentional and from now on
  • 00:11:11
    whenever we're thinking about anything
  • 00:11:13
    we can feel all of the emotions okay
  • 00:11:14
    that is completely okay you cannot
  • 00:11:15
    filter out which emotions and thoughts
  • 00:11:17
    come into your mind okay nobody can
  • 00:11:19
    control that but what you can do is
  • 00:11:21
    understand that when you are starting to
  • 00:11:22
    think something that begins with what if
  • 00:11:24
    about this situationship or this person
  • 00:11:27
    you are instead going to turn it into a
  • 00:11:29
    sentence that you are going to write
  • 00:11:30
    into a list on the notesap of your phone
  • 00:11:33
    or in your Journal as one of the many
  • 00:11:35
    reasons as to why this is never going to
  • 00:11:36
    work so that the next time you decide to
  • 00:11:38
    romanticize or fall into Nostalgia when
  • 00:11:40
    it comes to this person's situationship
  • 00:11:42
    you are not going to go back there for
  • 00:11:44
    example if you're what if thought is but
  • 00:11:48
    what if they get over their commitment
  • 00:11:49
    issues and heartbreak from all of their
  • 00:11:50
    previous relationships instead of then
  • 00:11:52
    falling in love with the idea of what
  • 00:11:54
    that situation would be because it
  • 00:11:56
    doesn't exist you were instead going to
  • 00:11:58
    write into to your list of why I should
  • 00:12:00
    never be with ex person and write down X
  • 00:12:03
    has commitment issues action number two
  • 00:12:06
    is please don't internalize it because
  • 00:12:09
    although situationships suck and
  • 00:12:10
    although I'm so sorry that you were in
  • 00:12:12
    this situationship let me tell you this
  • 00:12:14
    is going to be a great resource and
  • 00:12:17
    building block if you will to building
  • 00:12:19
    up your self- love depending on how you
  • 00:12:22
    choose to perceive it it can either
  • 00:12:25
    break down your confidence and your
  • 00:12:26
    self-esteem by making you think oh my
  • 00:12:27
    God nobody's ever going to love me and
  • 00:12:29
    nobody wants to be in a relationship
  • 00:12:30
    with me that is not good for anybody
  • 00:12:32
    anybody that is not facts nobody has
  • 00:12:34
    told you that you are choosing to think
  • 00:12:36
    and so instead that means we also hold
  • 00:12:39
    the power to shift that thought to
  • 00:12:41
    something that benefits us lifts us up
  • 00:12:43
    improves our confidence and make sure
  • 00:12:44
    that we can improve our reality because
  • 00:12:46
    whatever you think about yourself and
  • 00:12:48
    life is what you are going to
  • 00:12:49
    continuously attract and therefore
  • 00:12:51
    experience in your reality so instead I
  • 00:12:54
    wasn't good enough and I will never be
  • 00:12:55
    good enough for anybody because of the
  • 00:12:57
    way they treated me turns into to their
  • 00:13:00
    behavior is simply a reflection of what
  • 00:13:02
    they have gone through their own traumas
  • 00:13:04
    their mindset and their inability to
  • 00:13:06
    work on themselves I am so grateful that
  • 00:13:09
    I understood that separated myself I'm
  • 00:13:11
    no longer dealing with that which now
  • 00:13:13
    gives me all of the time and all of the
  • 00:13:15
    opportunity to find somebody who is
  • 00:13:16
    actually going to benefit me and bring
  • 00:13:18
    value into my life wow I have so much
  • 00:13:20
    strength and so much confidence that I
  • 00:13:22
    realized somebody wasn't good for me and
  • 00:13:24
    then I walked away go me action number
  • 00:13:27
    three is to give it time and feel
  • 00:13:30
    everything I am never going to endorse
  • 00:13:32
    that you go through a breakup or end a
  • 00:13:34
    situationship and then it's like move on
  • 00:13:37
    forget about them don't think about them
  • 00:13:38
    whatever they irrelevant no just because
  • 00:13:40
    somebody was bad for you or because they
  • 00:13:42
    didn't treat you in the way that you
  • 00:13:43
    deserve does not rob you of your
  • 00:13:46
    entitlement to be able to feel your
  • 00:13:48
    feelings it doesn't matter how somebody
  • 00:13:50
    else treated you if you are sad about
  • 00:13:51
    something you get to be sad about it
  • 00:13:53
    regardless and you need to let yourself
  • 00:13:54
    feel that you know why because one is
  • 00:13:56
    actually going to be able to help you
  • 00:13:57
    process okay we already know that but
  • 00:13:59
    two if you are sad about this 2 3 months
  • 00:14:01
    and this is actual like real heartbreak
  • 00:14:03
    pain and you feel it and you go through
  • 00:14:05
    it and you heal one not only do you glow
  • 00:14:08
    up and level up because now you've
  • 00:14:10
    learned even more information on how to
  • 00:14:11
    process your feelings and move on but
  • 00:14:13
    two you have actually healthily moved on
  • 00:14:16
    because you've gone through all of the
  • 00:14:17
    steps rather than just covering it up
  • 00:14:18
    with superficial things and just trying
  • 00:14:20
    to forget about them but three because
  • 00:14:22
    you felt every single painful emotion
  • 00:14:24
    that comes from a situationship you are
  • 00:14:27
    never going to get in it again let me
  • 00:14:29
    tell you girl because if you end one
  • 00:14:32
    suppress it just try to go about your
  • 00:14:34
    day and ignore it you are so much more
  • 00:14:35
    likely to fall into another one because
  • 00:14:37
    you never understood the signs and the
  • 00:14:38
    red flags as to what got you there you
  • 00:14:40
    never understood the actual pain and the
  • 00:14:41
    turmoil and the aftermath of what it
  • 00:14:43
    means to end one and have to deal with
  • 00:14:46
    the aftermath of that and the Last
  • 00:14:48
    Action is to go no contact a lot of
  • 00:14:50
    people don't like this I hated it I
  • 00:14:52
    never wanted to do it I thought you know
  • 00:14:54
    people can do our last for a reason and
  • 00:14:55
    all of this and a season so true so true
  • 00:14:58
    okay but here's the thing if something
  • 00:15:00
    is causing you so much pain and so much
  • 00:15:01
    heartbreak and you can't stop
  • 00:15:02
    romanticizing it and you can't stop the
  • 00:15:04
    Nostalgia at that point you need to cut
  • 00:15:07
    the cord and that does mean blocking the
  • 00:15:09
    number and the social media deleting all
  • 00:15:11
    of the text messages throwing away all
  • 00:15:13
    of the belongings and even deleting
  • 00:15:15
    every single picture of them in your
  • 00:15:17
    camera roll that was the one I really
  • 00:15:18
    struggled with and I remember telling
  • 00:15:20
    some of my friends that I did that to my
  • 00:15:21
    ex of 2 years re like relationship 2
  • 00:15:24
    years deleted every single picture and
  • 00:15:27
    they looked at me like I can't believe
  • 00:15:29
    you did that that was 2 years of your
  • 00:15:30
    life but I had to cut the cord at some
  • 00:15:32
    point because I tried every other
  • 00:15:34
    breakup method out there and nothing was
  • 00:15:35
    working cuz I would find myself looking
  • 00:15:36
    back on these pictures reading through
  • 00:15:38
    old text romanticizing it which negates
  • 00:15:40
    all of the bad logical facts and
  • 00:15:43
    replaces them with all of the emotions
  • 00:15:46
    that overrides the truth of what that
  • 00:15:48
    relationship was which is that it was
  • 00:15:50
    bad and toxic for me to be in I had to
  • 00:15:53
    do the favor for my future self that I'm
  • 00:15:56
    no longer going to think about this in
  • 00:15:57
    fact this person is now going to be
  • 00:15:58
    completely erased from my memory because
  • 00:16:01
    the longer time passes where I cannot
  • 00:16:04
    remember what their face looks like cuz
  • 00:16:05
    I can't see a picture of them the easier
  • 00:16:07
    it's going to be to move on and guess
  • 00:16:09
    what as much as it sucked and hurt in
  • 00:16:11
    the moment I healed there was nothing to
  • 00:16:13
    romanticize or go back to anymore every
  • 00:16:15
    single memory I was clinging on to and
  • 00:16:17
    my head slowly slowly slowly faded away
  • 00:16:19
    and that brings us onto the last chapter
  • 00:16:20
    of the video which is not only mindset
  • 00:16:23
    shifts to help you on this journey but
  • 00:16:24
    also actions and things to believe in
  • 00:16:26
    and things to do from now on to now only
  • 00:16:30
    guarantee happiness and actual
  • 00:16:32
    relationships in your life AKA
  • 00:16:34
    situationships are done you don't even
  • 00:16:35
    know what they are you literally don't
  • 00:16:36
    know what that word means because you
  • 00:16:38
    were never going to experience that
  • 00:16:39
    again let's get into it step number one
  • 00:16:41
    I'm going to need you to be a little bit
  • 00:16:43
    obsessed with yourself scratch that a
  • 00:16:45
    lot obsessed with yourself because let
  • 00:16:47
    me tell you something when you fully
  • 00:16:49
    understand your worth when you fully
  • 00:16:50
    know what you bring to the table no
  • 00:16:52
    one's messing you around like literally
  • 00:16:54
    no no one's messing you around when you
  • 00:16:55
    like your life when you love who you are
  • 00:16:58
    the mistakes you make how you make them
  • 00:17:00
    how you work what your life looks like
  • 00:17:02
    it doesn't have to be perfect you know
  • 00:17:03
    you don't have to have achieved all of
  • 00:17:04
    your goals but you like where it's going
  • 00:17:06
    you like how you deal with things you
  • 00:17:07
    like the person that you're growing into
  • 00:17:09
    because of the work you're doing on
  • 00:17:12
    yourself let somebody try let somebody
  • 00:17:14
    try and take advantage of you or like
  • 00:17:17
    make you settle for less than you
  • 00:17:18
    deserve no because now you are fully
  • 00:17:19
    aware of what you deserve and because
  • 00:17:21
    you are working on yourself and because
  • 00:17:22
    you are being more intentional and
  • 00:17:24
    self-aware about all of the things that
  • 00:17:26
    are to love about you you're you're
  • 00:17:27
    never going to set off a less and if you
  • 00:17:29
    want advice on this then I highly
  • 00:17:30
    recommend you guys listen to my podcast
  • 00:17:32
    self-obsessed because every single
  • 00:17:34
    episode we don't talk about dating on
  • 00:17:35
    there we literally talk about how to be
  • 00:17:37
    more obsessed with yourself all of the
  • 00:17:38
    actions and the mindset shifts you need
  • 00:17:39
    to be able to achieve that the second
  • 00:17:42
    action SL mindset shift you need to take
  • 00:17:44
    is to embrace being alone and I say this
  • 00:17:47
    because this completely transformed my
  • 00:17:49
    life and I've spoken about it so many
  • 00:17:50
    times my self- Lov journey and deciding
  • 00:17:52
    to quit dating quit talking to boys for
  • 00:17:54
    an entire year changed everything
  • 00:17:57
    because I was that girl that was was
  • 00:17:59
    dating constantly constantly always
  • 00:18:00
    talking to a boy always needed male
  • 00:18:01
    validation was always spiling for guys
  • 00:18:03
    that were never treating me in the way
  • 00:18:04
    that I deserved was always like giving
  • 00:18:05
    me barely bare minimum it was when I
  • 00:18:08
    fell in love with my own company and
  • 00:18:09
    realized that I could experience life on
  • 00:18:11
    my own that life was really really good
  • 00:18:12
    on my own I fell in love with that so
  • 00:18:14
    much and gave myself so much happiness
  • 00:18:15
    from that why would I be in a
  • 00:18:17
    situationship because if I can give
  • 00:18:18
    myself all of this I'm taking myself on
  • 00:18:20
    dates I'm bringing myself flowers I'm
  • 00:18:21
    spoiling myself I'm giving myself self
  • 00:18:24
    love selfcare compliments all of this
  • 00:18:26
    you have to like go above that otherwise
  • 00:18:29
    there's literally no point now that I've
  • 00:18:31
    accomplished that mindset do you really
  • 00:18:32
    think I would ever be in a situationship
  • 00:18:33
    absolutely not and honestly that's
  • 00:18:35
    literally the secret key and there are
  • 00:18:38
    so many ways you can do this I have free
  • 00:18:40
    videos on my YouTube channel on working
  • 00:18:42
    on your mindset leveling up self-love
  • 00:18:44
    videos but if you're a reader and you
  • 00:18:45
    would like to then you can also purchase
  • 00:18:47
    my book biosoft the dam flowers on
  • 00:18:49
    Amazon because that is the complete
  • 00:18:50
    detailed guide of how to do it how to
  • 00:18:53
    achieve it understand it heal from it
  • 00:18:55
    actionable steps so definitely check
  • 00:18:57
    that out if you want to and the final
  • 00:18:59
    step I'm going to share for this video
  • 00:19:00
    is probably what I think is the most
  • 00:19:02
    powerful one and that is to recognize
  • 00:19:05
    your own patterns and old behaviors as
  • 00:19:09
    to why you brought certain situations
  • 00:19:12
    situationships into your life that is
  • 00:19:15
    where all of the answers all of the
  • 00:19:17
    trauma all of the questions you need to
  • 00:19:19
    know to embark on your healing Journey
  • 00:19:21
    lies why did you get into the situation
  • 00:19:22
    sh why did you allow that person into
  • 00:19:23
    your life what did you feel like they
  • 00:19:25
    were going to give you what did you feel
  • 00:19:26
    like you were lacking what did you want
  • 00:19:28
    want to gain from it why did you stay
  • 00:19:30
    for so long what was your mindset during
  • 00:19:31
    that those answers are going to be
  • 00:19:33
    different for everybody but once you get
  • 00:19:36
    them that's how you start to work
  • 00:19:37
    backwards from it and heal those things
  • 00:19:40
    that were missing in you that allowed
  • 00:19:42
    you to accept somebody who who wasn't
  • 00:19:44
    there for you and who wasn't meeting
  • 00:19:45
    your standards and who was hurting you
  • 00:19:47
    in the process of being in your life and
  • 00:19:49
    and ignoring your desires and your
  • 00:19:50
    fulfillment but most importantly there
  • 00:19:52
    was a little bit where you were hurting
  • 00:19:54
    yourself too by consistently staying in
  • 00:19:56
    a situation that you knew was bad for
  • 00:19:58
    you that you knew wasn't what you wanted
  • 00:20:00
    there is no little girl within all of us
  • 00:20:03
    that grows up and thinks I want to be in
  • 00:20:06
    a situationship one day nobody grows up
  • 00:20:10
    wanting a situationship and yet so many
  • 00:20:12
    of us accept it why once you realize the
  • 00:20:15
    why that is when you can finally nip
  • 00:20:17
    those behaviors and those thoughts in
  • 00:20:19
    the buds so that you never find yourself
  • 00:20:21
    in that situation again and that you can
  • 00:20:23
    finally turn yourself into a
  • 00:20:24
    relationship only girl and never ever
  • 00:20:28
    just get in into situationships with
  • 00:20:30
    people just for the sake of having
  • 00:20:32
    attention and Company and temporary
  • 00:20:34
    kindness why because you were already
  • 00:20:36
    giving that to yourself and that brings
  • 00:20:38
    us to the end of this video Woo you know
  • 00:20:41
    what the reason I said at the beginning
  • 00:20:42
    of this video I'm never going to film
  • 00:20:43
    this video is because I literally just
  • 00:20:45
    thought the entire conversation around
  • 00:20:46
    situationships was so stupid like it
  • 00:20:48
    irritated me I was like I'm not even
  • 00:20:50
    going to like validate this word by
  • 00:20:53
    creating a piece of content on it like
  • 00:20:55
    no now that I've done it I feel very
  • 00:20:57
    passionate like my my heart is racing a
  • 00:20:59
    little bit because I really got into
  • 00:21:00
    that and if it gave you some clarity if
  • 00:21:02
    it most importantly gave you the I
  • 00:21:04
    please comment down below and let me
  • 00:21:04
    know if it did because I would love that
  • 00:21:07
    situationships that word staying in 2024
  • 00:21:09
    it shouldn't have even come into 2024
  • 00:21:11
    but I don't want to see it anymore okay
  • 00:21:13
    we deserve so much more than this we are
  • 00:21:15
    capable of so much more than this I want
  • 00:21:16
    us all to grow and heal and level up and
  • 00:21:19
    be self-loving together we can create
  • 00:21:21
    such a beautiful life we got this you
  • 00:21:23
    got this I appreciate you thank you so
  • 00:21:26
    much for watching I know it's same time
  • 00:21:29
    next week on Friday for a brand new
  • 00:21:30
    video love you
  • 00:21:33
    [Music]
Tags
  • situationships
  • relationships
  • self-love
  • personal growth
  • emotional well-being
  • online therapy
  • Better Help
  • breakup advice
  • self-worth
  • commitment