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[Music]
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this was me at 6 I would sit alone
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drawing for hours or rewatch movies so
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many times I knew every line by heart
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this was me as a teen by then I could
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touch type and speedread to keep up with
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my schoolwork as an adult I went further
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watching videos at over four time speed
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and like everyone watching this video
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detecting lags that are only nanc long
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in our computers or or phones so all of
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this speeding up of my brain surely
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means I'm so much more productive and
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get a lot more done right right right in
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reality no I would watch University
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lectures alongside YouTube videos while
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on my phone and still feel I wasn't
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engaged enough seeing thousands of faces
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a day became normal acceleration
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addictive doing one activity at a time
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boring anything that left me with my own
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thoughts even a little unbearable while
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increasingly being able to cut capture
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and keep my attention was becoming
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impossible now that anxiety and
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scatteredness defines generation Alpha
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is well known but even as an ex-
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Millennial child currently with as much
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anxiety as your average squirrel or
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prime consumer I can see how making
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everything modern synonymous with
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acceleration can have effects on our
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brain that are much more Sinister than
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we commonly think and it all comes down
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to one thing our misunderstanding of
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attention as as standards and
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competition rise in every industry and
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it becomes harder to stand out or even
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survive it's easy to reduce our
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attention to just the thing we need to
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work and complete tasks after all that's
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where we most frequently use it and most
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obviously suffer its loss this reasoning
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is sound but incomplete according to
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philosophers such as Schiller wolf lri
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garve attention is also our character
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the manifestation of our directed will
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our source of agency our autonomy what
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makes us human this is why after all we
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are judged on and become what we pay
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attention to James Williams called the
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market for attention a type of human
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trafficking attention grabbing
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technology literally dehumanizing us
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through the constant stripping of our
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attention while we've been upgrading
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technology we've been downgrading
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Humanity so we need attention for our
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own personal dignity and life and for
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Success at work whatever that means and
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as a definite victim of acceleration
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I'm going to cautiously put forward a
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solution that has been working for me
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all you will need is one notebook and
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one pen just to be clear I am not
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selling you anything here you can get
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the template of the questions below if
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you like but no new information is
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behind a pay wall I'll explain all my
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thoughts in this video everything is
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based on multiple books and studies I've
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read in the last few years with which
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I've created my theory on how attention
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works and therefore how we might be able
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to rebuild build it in this video I'll
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explain both the information logic and
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the four exercises I've been using the
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exercises are writing reflection tasks
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and are no huge project to add to your
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life in Elizabeth fashion there is no
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habits or regularity to this you just do
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it when you can and when you need to the
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main thing is understanding the
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principles hopefully if you're like me
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it will make sense and help with getting
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some of our attention and Humanity back
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let's get straight into it two truths No
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Lie distraction is not the opposite of
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attention everyone who thinks it is
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secretly believes that they can be the
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exception to that
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rule in Psychology attention and
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distraction can mean very much the same
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thing as tempting as it is to see
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ourselves procrastinating and think that
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we're doing the opposite of work we're
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not in both cases we are still focusing
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we're just using different types of
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attention our obsession with trying to
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find the will to work to force our focus
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on the task we need done fails because
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it misses the fact that our attention
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has always been there we just don't know
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what to look for so here's the first
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thing we need to retrace our attention
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change the source way back in 1980 the
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psychologist Michael Posner noticed
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something weird people could be equally
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attentive both actively and passively
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both when writing or reading and when
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lying back and hearing someone speak he
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defined these two types of attention as
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endogenous and exogenous and they both
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work differently endogenous attention is
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what we use to execute and focus it
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comes from us internally it's how we get
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work done what we miss when it is not
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there this is also called the exploit
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mode where we can make ourselves sit
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down and actively exploit work through a
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task get everything that we need from it
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exogenous attention is activated when
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something changes in our environment
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it's what makes us watch and react to
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something shiny loud or interesting this
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is called the explore mode and crucially
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it can capture our attention even
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against our wishes or at least against
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our better judgment both types of
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attention are important and naturally
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exist in some sort of balance however
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Magnus Liber argued that when
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stimulating exogenous attention for
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prolonged periods of time as we often
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and easily can do we get an exploration
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bias where the spreading of our
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attention thinly amongst many attractive
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sources becomes a trait and we slowly
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lose the capacity to exploit to persist
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in sustaining attention on one task for
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the prolonged periods of time that are
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often necessary for the effective
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completion of tasks this is where things
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went wrong for us screens are rich in
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artificial salients the ability to make
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engaging with them seem attractive and
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valuable where else in the natural world
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would we see the levels of visual
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acoustic mental emotional social
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stimulation we can find on any screen
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for Endless amounts of time and it's not
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just that exhaustion is sources of
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attention weaken our self-directed
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endogenous attention they also can
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temporarily incapacitate our Focus think
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what would happen if you suddenly heard
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a loud bang behind you the snap neck
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reflex like attention you give something
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loud bright shiny new is called the
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orientation response you can probably
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see why having this might be useful for
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survival however our orientation
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response was never meant to be activated
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so much screens through the engaging
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images and sounds we mentioned earlier
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can maintain an activated orientation
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response for unnaturally long periods of
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time this actually leads to a dizzying
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in our attention which describes screens
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as paradoxically making us more alert
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but less focused something that might
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sound familiar so how do we rebuild our
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healthy attention well what we've lost
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here is our ability to exploit to
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intentionally make the most of one thing
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without task switching in our
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exploration bias we've lost the capacity
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to tolerate an unactivated orientation
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response As We crave the super
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stimulation of alertness what we need is
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to restore the balance in the two types
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of attention we need to learn to
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maintain an under stimulated exploit
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mode again we need to teach ourselves to
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tolerate intentional natural slowness
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the best solution I have for this in
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terms of it being the easiest the
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quickest and the most effective is
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through writing you can either just
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naturally write about your thoughts and
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journal or you can use two Frameworks
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which I'm going to give you now and the
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reason these are so effective is because
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when you're write you force your
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attention to focus on one thing the
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thing in front of you and thinking about
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what you need to put there this
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generates mandatory endogenous attention
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it's the easiest way to get our brains
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into the exploit mode immediately
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writing on paper as opposed to an
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electronic device also will then reduce
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our orientation response both because it
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is probably less bright than a screen
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and also much more physically engaging
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our brains also love to touch what they
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see and therefore for a change having an
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alignment in our senses helps also
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reward them so if you already feel
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comfortable with writing your thoughts
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and journaling you can definitely do
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that in a moment when you feel that
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you've completely lost this endogenous
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attention but if you find that this is a
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more long-term problem that you really
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struggle with the first exercise I would
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recommend is called the miracle question
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exercise the purpose of this is to
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really try to generate and find these
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endogenous sources of motivation in
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order to get you to focus on something
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that you would like to do the miracle
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question is very simple all you need to
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do is to think of the task that you've
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been procrastinating on or something
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that you are really struggling to pay
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attention to especially this is good if
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it's a really long-term project or
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something that you've been struggling
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with for a while and what you will do is
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start to write down the answer to the
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question if you were to wake up tomorrow
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morning and you would become the sort of
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person who has successfully completed
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this task while really enjoying it a
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professional in whatever this task is
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what kind of person would you be what
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would you look like and through trying
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to explore this so describing the
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characteristics of yourself so by me
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thinking for example of the type of
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person I would need to be in order to
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not procrastinate on scripting YouTube
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videos I could describe the kind of
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Elizabeth that would wake up tomorrow
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feeling confident in herself and not
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overthinking every single element in
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every video or feeling very insecure or
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as though she's going to like scam
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people because she's saying the wrong
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thing or misquoting sources or saying
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things that are actually causing more
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damage than good or maybe just repeating
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things that people have said a thousand
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times and they for adding to the noise
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online and someone who just finds
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pleasure in writing and learning new
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things the point of this exercise is to
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Hope move you away from the blockers of
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this endogenous resource and kind of see
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that well the sort of person who would
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enjoy scripting YouTube videos as
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opposed to someone who feels terrified
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by it is not too dissimilar to the
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person I currently am and therefore it
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kind of brings you one closer to who you
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want to be and two in that Hour 2 hours
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3 hours 20 minutes 15 minutes that
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you've spent writing down this task
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you've for a change not used your
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exogenous attention but actually put in
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the time and the practice to use the
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endogenous one so this is extremely
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helpful so the second framework is a
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very special one it's a bit of a once in
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a lifetime exercise and I'm aware that
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it's really going to sound crazy to a
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lot of people so um if it's whenever it
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starts feeling crazy just skip ahead if
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it's not for you but basically it's
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called a dialogue with works and I'm
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going to try to find the actual source
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of who came up with this because I think
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it's a bit unclear but what it involves
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is when you have a very big project or
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task that you are completely unable to
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pay attention to I'm really
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procrastinating on it can be your whole
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career so it can be as big of a thing as
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you need so my YouTube channel can be a
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thing um a book I want to write might be
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a thing a my medical career might be a
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thing so it can be really really large
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tasks in the dialogue with bks what you
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do is that you picture the task as a
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human you write down their life story
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and you create a dialogue between
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yourselves and them if this sounds crazy
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let me try and break it down with an
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example on myself so let's say I'm
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journaling about my YouTube journey and
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I'm struggling with with doing YouTube
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so what I'm going to do is imagine that
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the task that that I'm procrastinating
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on so my YouTube channel is a person a
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girl my age Elizabeth's YouTube channel
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and I told you this was going to sound
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crazy but it's extremely effective so
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bear with me and I am going to write
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down as if I am Elizabeth's YouTube
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channel person girl writing to myself
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and describing who I am so basically I
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would write down when I was born so I
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would say like oh Elizabeth like you
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first you know thought of me at this age
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and then you only got started with
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creating me at like stage the first
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thing that happened was like this video
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that you published and you basically
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write down all the Milestones
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chronologically that have happened in
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the life of this task as though it's
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kind of like a history of their life and
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once you've done this and completely
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humanized the story you then have you
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write down a dialogue between yourself
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and this task as a person so it's kind
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of like coup therapy between these two
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things it's really abstract sorry if
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this doesn't come across clearly I'm
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really trying um so I would say for
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example as Elizabeth Channel I would
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tell myself that you've been really
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unfair on me because every time you try
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to spend time with me you bring a really
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really shitty attitude and you um are
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really inconsistent and you kind of
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treat me extremely poorly and you think
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about me terribly and you have so much
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resentment and yet you don't just like
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end things but you're like this in this
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toxic relationship with me and by
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humanizing it both ways you kind of see
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how much of a toxic person you can be
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with the tasks that you need to do and
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therefore what this helps is kind of
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like unblock a lot of the issues that
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you have or insecurities that you have
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around this task a lot of the things
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that are driving you towards not being
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able to sustain your focus and attention
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not being able to sit there reading and
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thinking about it and potentially can
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completely shift the way that you
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approach your life and this task it
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might lead you to actually think this
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was not right for me it was never right
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for me I knew this was never going to
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fit I need to like let this project go
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or let stream go on the other hand it
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can let you think that oh my God if this
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was an actual person I'd be like the
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most toxic friend or partner ever and I
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can't be doing this I need to be a bit
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more rational and fair and so it sounds
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a bit ridiculous but I found it
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extremely helpful and as I said before
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it is a once in A- lifetime task it's
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not something that you journal on every
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week I think you can do it once maybe
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for each of your big life goals or
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projects and see how it goes from there
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before I continue the only reason I'm
00:14:24
able to research for months to create
00:14:26
videos like this are better help who is
00:14:29
paid partner of this video therapy has
00:14:31
without exaggeration saved and changed
00:14:34
my life since I started it 3 years ago
00:14:36
almost counterintuitively I feel the
00:14:39
best thing that we can do for others is
00:14:41
learn to better deal with ourselves
00:14:44
facing my issues insecurities anxieties
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helps me not externalize them react
00:14:50
better depend Less on others for
00:14:52
constant reassurance or confidence or
00:14:54
happiness and instead be able to achieve
00:14:56
the best thing in the world genu
00:14:59
presence for human connection I cannot
00:15:02
imagine having to go without therapy for
00:15:04
now and so I am extremely grateful to
00:15:07
better help for creating a space to make
00:15:09
it more accessible for everyone when
00:15:11
signing up you are matched with a
00:15:13
credential professional usually within
00:15:15
48 hours after which you can start
00:15:18
talking to them I prefer video calls as
00:15:20
I find seeing someone during these
00:15:22
conversations very helpful and this is
00:15:24
the next best thing to actually doing
00:15:26
in-person therapy which if I had less
00:15:29
time and money I would love to do I've
00:15:31
had an incredible experience with my
00:15:32
better health therapist and I think they
00:15:34
make finding a practitioner and managing
00:15:37
sessions the least stressful and most
00:15:39
straightforward it can be if you are
00:15:42
struggling with anything I encourage you
00:15:45
to try betterhelp like I did if you use
00:15:47
betterhelp.com Elizabeth Phillips or the
00:15:50
code Elizabeth Phillips during sign up
00:15:52
you'll get a special discount on your
00:15:54
first month good luck if you get started
00:15:57
there is unfortunately another huge
00:15:59
reason we are likely to struggle with
00:16:01
paying attention it's very common for me
00:16:04
to think about a task maybe even start
00:16:06
it and very quickly switch onto
00:16:08
something else a YouTube video a book a
00:16:11
conversation the news my email food and
00:16:14
not return for hours days weeks or until
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I absolutely have to for lots of us this
00:16:22
abandonment of tasks and lack of
00:16:23
attention is associated with high
00:16:26
anxiety a panic about work that is is
00:16:29
only relieved once I numb myself with
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enough things to distract me from even
00:16:34
the guilt of what I'm not doing so
00:16:37
what's happening here did studied
00:16:39
behavior in the 1990s Boston and found
00:16:43
that our brains are always collecting
00:16:45
and building a picture of our lives and
00:16:48
experience which is called narrative
00:16:50
flow this narrative storytelling can be
00:16:53
conscious or subconscious verbal or
00:16:55
non-verbal depending on the person and
00:16:58
the particular moment in time we do this
00:17:01
because we have a thing called reflexive
00:17:03
interiority a drive to reflect on our
00:17:06
internal experience now as fun and noal
00:17:09
as reflection usually is it can also be
00:17:12
the source of our intentional downfall
00:17:14
if a task is not engaging enough The
00:17:17
Narrative flow which is going on
00:17:19
subconsciously might start to become
00:17:20
louder and louder increasingly taking
00:17:23
over our Consciousness this is to say we
00:17:26
become aware of ourselves we become
00:17:28
fully immersed in our feelings and
00:17:31
previously subconscious reflection we
00:17:33
come to a moment of awareness and for a
00:17:35
lot of us this can be
00:17:37
traumatizing byon Juan noted the
00:17:40
tendency to task switch and not focus on
00:17:43
work in students with higher levels of
00:17:45
sadness pain or chaotic homes he
00:17:47
describes that distraction overrides
00:17:50
narrative flow when the narrative is
00:17:52
boring cuts out time when the time is
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felt to be empty and suspense embodiment
00:17:57
when one wants to be elsewhere where few
00:17:59
adults manage to not accumulate enough
00:18:01
issues in our life such that if any task
00:18:04
is not engaging enough our narrative
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flow becomes easily overwhelming this
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intolerance of the present this feeling
00:18:10
of threat painful uneasiness is what we
00:18:13
might call anxiety in the state a
00:18:16
terribly strong drive to seek
00:18:18
distraction numbing any other activity
00:18:20
which is engaging enough to pull our
00:18:22
conscious away again is created so we
00:18:25
can lose track of ourselves time and
00:18:28
this terrible Nar to flow for me this
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tends to be strolling or browsing
00:18:32
playing games while listening to sped up
00:18:34
videos this time spent in the
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procrastinatory
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temporality reduces the painful
00:18:40
uneasiness of having to be aware of
00:18:43
myself so how do we overcome this
00:18:47
unfortunately regaining attention and
00:18:49
reducing anxiety requires actually
00:18:52
processing it but fortunately there are
00:18:55
ways to do that when you're feeling
00:18:56
particularly anxious or unable to focus
00:18:59
grab the notebook and just write down
00:19:01
what you're thinking as you're thinking
00:19:03
it just start without deliberation the
00:19:05
point is not to write what you know the
00:19:08
point is to write to figure things out
00:19:11
so you don't need to overthink anything
00:19:12
if you've never done this before and
00:19:14
would struggle with Bri to start a good
00:19:16
way to think of it is the description in
00:19:18
the learning journals book of trying to
00:19:20
put a scream in a diary try to do that
00:19:23
the goal here is to be able to progress
00:19:26
with our thinking there are only so many
00:19:28
thoughts and intelligible feelings that
00:19:30
we can keep in our mind at one time so
00:19:34
if I start off flating them I always end
00:19:36
up having for the first time maybe a
00:19:38
57th thought on the matter after being
00:19:40
anxious for it for months and only
00:19:43
holding the 56 messy thoughts and
00:19:44
feelings in my mind the whole time the
00:19:47
theory here is that you need to offload
00:19:49
thoughts in a structured manner in order
00:19:52
to give your brain the space to progress
00:19:54
with its thinking and come up with new
00:19:55
ideas you can of course do this with a
00:19:58
very patient friend or a therapist but I
00:20:01
have lots less access to this exactly
00:20:03
when I need them or how much I tend to
00:20:06
need them for so there are days when I
00:20:07
will Journal literally all day when I am
00:20:10
particularly in a bad State what can
00:20:12
also happen when doing this is that we
00:20:14
might be able to activate what was
00:20:16
called the Silver Lining voice which is
00:20:19
a lot harder or even impossible to do in
00:20:22
real life if you feel like me that you
00:20:24
can be quite menad dramatic in your head
00:20:26
or that your first feelings about
00:20:28
something are quite negatively extreme
00:20:31
writing them out helps to bring out the
00:20:33
more rational balanced side of you which
00:20:35
can be very well hidden one of my
00:20:38
favorite examples of this I'll link
00:20:40
below for anyone curious is an extract
00:20:42
from a very frustrated Freud's diary
00:20:45
where you can see within one page his
00:20:47
thinking about his frustration and pain
00:20:50
with a patient shift from being entitled
00:20:52
anger to questioning himself to
00:20:54
considering to elements of reason and
00:20:56
eventually getting to rationality and if
00:20:59
I don't write I end up going from anger
00:21:02
to avoidance to fear and cycling in this
00:21:05
joyous little cocktail of feelings
00:21:07
forever but if I write within an hour
00:21:10
just like Freud I can actually get to
00:21:12
that point of rationality now because
00:21:14
this Anxiety Relief writing doesn't
00:21:16
really have a structure I understand
00:21:17
that it can be quite stressful and you
00:21:19
don't know where to start so here's my
00:21:21
top tips after trying and failing to do
00:21:23
it for literally two decades and
00:21:25
suddenly kind of learning how to do it
00:21:27
very recently so the first thing is a
00:21:30
big problem that we have is that we are
00:21:32
usually only writing when we know what
00:21:34
we want to write down so in an essay or
00:21:36
in a school project or signing something
00:21:38
or leaving a note for someone we
00:21:40
actually know what we want and the only
00:21:43
thing that we think about really is how
00:21:45
to structure it better for example this
00:21:47
is the opposite of this kind of anxiety
00:21:49
writing Anxiety Relief writing is not
00:21:52
about writing what you know as I said
00:21:53
earlier it's about writing what you want
00:21:56
to find out so you have to accept the
00:21:58
fact that you might start a sentence and
00:22:00
you might start writing which you should
00:22:02
do before you know what you're actually
00:22:04
going to be writing down I don't mean
00:22:05
this in a we we way of like a Ouija
00:22:07
board of you know let your hand do
00:22:09
things subconsciously but no in the
00:22:10
sense that you don't really have a
00:22:11
structured paragraph or an idea of where
00:22:13
you might want to end and you might
00:22:15
start a thought and then think oh this
00:22:17
is terrible and you just stop that
00:22:18
sentence there and kind of write the
00:22:19
next thing that comes to mind that you
00:22:21
prefer to focus on so in this kind of
00:22:22
way it doesn't need to have any sort of
00:22:24
structure the SEC the second point and
00:22:26
it's TI to this is to not take break or
00:22:28
stop writing as much as you can as I
00:22:30
mentioned there are days where I will
00:22:31
literally journal for like 8 hours if
00:22:33
I've really been struggling with
00:22:35
something and have been blocked for like
00:22:36
a week and um I'm feeling really really
00:22:38
low and obviously in that case I do have
00:22:40
to stop because my arm feels really numb
00:22:42
and I have to eat but in general if
00:22:45
you're doing like a short journaling
00:22:46
session I would advise not to stop
00:22:49
because in that sense you might be kind
00:22:51
of impeding your thoughts and what might
00:22:52
come up next and my top recommendation
00:22:54
for this is if you're struggling and you
00:22:57
don't have a coming up thought write
00:22:59
that down and I usually do this in the
00:23:00
form of a question of I will start
00:23:02
writing down I don't know why I'm so
00:23:05
blocked or I write down I don't know why
00:23:06
even though I'm so stressed I'm finding
00:23:08
nothing to write and I promise you by
00:23:10
the time you're done with that question
00:23:12
you will have something to say and
00:23:13
you'll have an answer for it and this
00:23:14
has worked for me every single time and
00:23:15
the very last thing if you have no idea
00:23:16
what to write on um prompts might be the
00:23:18
five hindrances sorry let me get my book
00:23:20
oh no I think my is not one
00:23:24
second okay so I finally found it so if
00:23:26
you're really struggling with what to
00:23:28
focus on or what to write about you can
00:23:30
use these prompts which are to focus on
00:23:32
potentially one of the five hindrances
00:23:34
which might be causing you anxiety or
00:23:35
making you not work and those are doubt
00:23:38
restlessness sleepiness craving and
00:23:40
aversion and these were identified in an
00:23:42
essay from John trash so um that might
00:23:47
be a good thing to try to write about if
00:23:48
you are really struggling with this like
00:23:50
the free flow writing my third way to
00:23:52
increase our attention is by increasing
00:23:54
our motivation by saving it for later
00:23:57
and increasing the worthiness of the
00:23:59
goal what I mean by this is that there
00:24:01
are moments in my life where either
00:24:04
because of a combination of recent
00:24:06
events or things not going completely
00:24:09
terribly for a brief period of time and
00:24:11
for a change that I am super super
00:24:14
inspired and excited to do something
00:24:17
like there are times where I'm obsessed
00:24:19
with this YouTube channel there are
00:24:20
times that I am obsessed with being a
00:24:21
doctor where just everything seems so
00:24:23
beautiful in life and I am so excited I
00:24:25
seem to have endless energy focus and
00:24:28
motivation and attention to give
00:24:29
something because I am convinced that
00:24:31
it's absolutely what I want to do and I
00:24:33
feel amazing in that time and of course
00:24:35
there are moments where I abely don't
00:24:37
want to get out of bed and I think that
00:24:39
everything is pointless and the world is
00:24:42
you know so Bleak and I will fail at
00:24:44
everything anyway so what is the point
00:24:46
and therefore how to bring the amount of
00:24:48
attention that you have when you love or
00:24:50
hate something closer to one another is
00:24:52
to kind of lend attention and motivation
00:24:54
from that moment in time where you have
00:24:56
so much of it and this is the only time
00:24:59
that I would recommend that you actually
00:25:00
journal or write something down in a
00:25:02
happy State because if you've noticed a
00:25:04
lot of my journaling tends to be very
00:25:06
depressive and it's kind of what I use
00:25:08
to help myself get out of a bad state
00:25:11
but if I'm extremely happy about
00:25:13
something I will also capture my
00:25:15
thoughts and feelings and this is where
00:25:16
you be as descriptive as you are about
00:25:19
how much you love something what you
00:25:21
hope to accomplish from it the kind of
00:25:23
life that you want to live potentially
00:25:25
or why you just find this so beautiful
00:25:28
and and you kind of capture your exact
00:25:30
perspective which if you're like me you
00:25:32
can very very easily lose I can go from
00:25:34
loving something to a week later going
00:25:37
like oh my God why did I ever want to do
00:25:39
this and there are these movements that
00:25:40
I've seen that say things along the
00:25:41
lines of me crying while I'm going to
00:25:43
the job that I pray for which is
00:25:45
absolutely how I feel so um I would
00:25:47
recommend that the better you get at
00:25:49
doing this you'll see what you need the
00:25:51
next time that you don't have that
00:25:52
motivation if that makes sense is it the
00:25:54
perspective is it the future things that
00:25:56
you might want to accomplish by doing
00:25:58
this that you kind of forget about in
00:25:59
the moment so capturing that self that
00:26:02
naive hopefulness is really really
00:26:05
helpful to use kind of later on you have
00:26:07
these then collected kind of in the bank
00:26:09
these captured versions of your prior
00:26:11
self that you can lean on when it's a
00:26:13
rainy day and it's depressing and your
00:26:15
motivation cannot come internally
00:26:17
therefore you can redirect your
00:26:19
attention by changing your mood and your
00:26:20
perspective with things that are
00:26:22
customized to you as opposed to kind of
00:26:24
leaning on someone else and then them
00:26:26
giving you advice and it kind of going
00:26:27
like no no you cannot resuscitate me my
00:26:29
feelings are completely negative so yeah
00:26:31
hopefully these helped with your indogen
00:26:32
attention that was everything for me I
00:26:34
hope you have a wonderful rest of your
00:26:36
day be kind to yourself and others and
00:26:37
do not believe everything you think
00:26:40
thanks bye
