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smartest podcast the randy show this is
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when i look at a problem maybe it's the
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engineer in me i try going actually to
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the source of the problem the source of
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the problem is choosing wrong partners
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and the source of that problem is not
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being emotionally aware as a man and not
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being able to read situations read early
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red flags read early signs and that's
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actually what i'd want to tackle the
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only reason i feel like i'm slightly
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more emotionally aware than my male
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counterparts is because of this podcast
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and because of speaking to evolved women
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like yourself
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um you know the deeper you go first of
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all honestly i feel women's minds are
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much more complex than male minds and
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this i'm saying as a podcaster
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in a good way yeah yeah absolutely i i i
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agree totally agree with that there's
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many more layers of thought guys are
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like very functional yes
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and and you know the thing is even
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because of the kind of job you do
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creating these documentaries interacting
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with people who are a part of this whole
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situation i'm sure you've learned a lot
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about men you've learned a lot about
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women yeah so let's talk about the
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source of the problem which is emotional
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awareness for guys uh
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we've made videos you know on a hindi
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channel especially about
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how to choose the right girl for
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yourself
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and videos like that blow up because we
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package it like uh what guys look for in
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girls it's very like bubble gum but the
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underlying purpose behind those videos
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was situations like this that listen bro
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become emotionally aware so that you
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don't have to go through a bad
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relationship again 498 a.m situations
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like this are a peak version of like a
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bad relationship but there are lesser
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layers like i've i've been with people
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who weren't the right partners for me
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you know i've had like a tiny amount of
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like that when i was
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much younger um
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there was someone who used to like
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physically hit me as well so and and
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that time i didn't even know
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that this these kind of situations exist
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um and a little bit after that you know
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i've been with people who were the wrong
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partners who were probably cheating on
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me throughout didn't know what no later
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but these are soft versions of suffering
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i've been through but let's talk about
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emotional awareness
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and that's where i feel conversations
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like this can help men out there to just
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become slightly more emotionally aware
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um
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a lot of young men and boys
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are still living in that ancient
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idea of how a woman or a girl is
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while women have progressed a lot
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emotionally financially in practical
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aspects
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they know what they want
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right a lot of women are very very aware
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of what they want right now especially
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from a man especially from a
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relationship right
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but men are still
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i completely agree with you they're very
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practical very focused you know problem
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solution
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right emotional uh
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aspects they think very less and again
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going back to the same point uh
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the idea is all women are good you know
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so they do not
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they do not even want to see red flags
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like i have
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i have dealt with men who had so many
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red flags after the engagement or just
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when they met the girl
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but they did not they just believed
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whatever she said after that to you know
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uh
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hide whatever her lies or you know
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whatever
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truth came out in front of the man and
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this man still went ahead and got into
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the marriage and then you know suffered
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later
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so something that i really want to tell
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men all men out there especially the
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young boys uh
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see a lot of men say you know has
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marriage lost its purpose meant what
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what is left for men in marriage
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especially with such biased laws and
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such skewed
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perspectives particularly legally and if
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you
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uh unfortunately get caught into the
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legal system then there's you know
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endless suffering especially for a man
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what i really want to tell all the men
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out there
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there's no formula that you would be
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protected from such allegations or you
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will not go through there's no formula
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let me be very honest there's no formula
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for a woman there's no formula for a man
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it's a
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you know you can
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uh tick mark five six things and you
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ensure that your marriage is gonna work
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or you're not gonna get into legal soup
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there's no formula but
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what's very important and this is not
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just for men this is for women as well
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you have evolved as human beings you
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have evolved in genders you have evolved
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in your roles you have evolved in what
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you want from life
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uh your aspirations goals and everything
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be very clear about that before marriage
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especially men they have conversations
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have conversation very very focused
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conversations with your partner does she
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want to live with your parents after the
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marriage yes no do you want her to live
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with your parents after the marriage yes
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no
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are you okay if she is going to leave
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her job to take care of the kid for one
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or two years yes or no
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do you think she is going to move along
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with you if you get transferred to
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another city and you know probably take
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a move in her job even if she's doing
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really well in her job yes or no does
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she expect you to move with her her
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where if her job is really great
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if does she expect you to
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you know
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financially support her parents
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that is also happening these days right
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the women have would have expectations
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that you support my sister's education
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you support my brother's education all
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of these things are happening they just
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don't come out right
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then there are a lot of
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families right now where there would be
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only daughter and naturally she would
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have a lot of you know uh
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concern for her parents right but then
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eventually the system is that she has
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moved in with her uh husband husband and
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his family but then she would want to
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take care of them as well now
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there's nothing wrong in that but then
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there has to be a balance drawn
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somewhere what if that balance goes
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wrong you know so the point i'm trying
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to make is whatever the realities of
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your life are you as a man and she as a
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woman
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and again repeating this is not just for
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men for women as well please make it
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clear before marriage
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because
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uh
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it is so much of suffering it is so much
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of suffering
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to go all of through all of these legal
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battles and later fight like enemies and
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then ruin your life in court that it's
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just not worth it especially for men
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both others
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i would say because
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like i said women have evolved a lot and
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it's not just metropolitan cities that
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i'm talking about chotishero maybe they
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know what they want and if they don't
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get what they want ranveer that's where
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problems happen
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so i was just talking to a guy yesterday
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from ghaziabad his wife has filed all
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kind of cases on him
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and he said ma'am you have given me a
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lot of inspiration i'm fighting back but
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you know things move so slowly and
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things like that we were talking and so
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what is the problem
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and he said
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she and her family is just so dominating
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they want me to live the life on the
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rules that they have you know defined
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for me and i'm not able to do that i i
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they did not she did not want to live
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with my parents my parents said okay to
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maram say you you know both stay
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together but still like her parents
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would interfere so much that it started
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creating so many problems and then she
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preferred to
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then move with her parents and then uh
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you know live her life rather than be
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with me and she has put all of these
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false cases on me
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and you have no answer to them but to
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say that you fight back
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so it's very important for men
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see
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people can say all of these things
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expecting her to you know
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be with the in-laws or the man chooses
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that i'm going to be with my parents i'm
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the only son i want to be with my
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parents i want to support them in their
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old age
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and the woman may not be okay with that
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she would want to have an independent
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life there's nothing wrong with that
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there's nothing wrong with this but you
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need to have a common understanding on
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whatever you want from your life when
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you are together as a couple it's very
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important to discuss all of that yeah
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you've said some very important things
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um
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i want to highlight the fact that uh it
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is important if possible
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date people when you're younger oh yes
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absolutely this teaches you so much
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about yourself and what you need from
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relationships and everybody is different
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absolutely in saying that you had you
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had something that you just said about
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the fact that we can't point out exact
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rules in terms of how do you choose a
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partner for yourself you also said one
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more interesting thing that men think
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less about emotional things because men
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are very functional they either thinking
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about sports their friends
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business career
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you know cars music these kind of things
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and everything is very functional uh
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after speaking to a lot of women i've
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realized more women on an average think
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about love think about relationships
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think about marriage poetry uh art
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things like that
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i feel that when you actually sit alone
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and go into deep thought or write what
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you're thinking you're able to dive into
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your own brain
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and that's what more men need to do yeah
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they need to kind of definitely have
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those career conversations even write
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about those think about those that helps
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being
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your analytical self helps in your
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career but apply a little bit of that
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analysis to your emotional side
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absolutely how are you feeling right now
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how is being single making you feel
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how's your last breakup making you feel
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how do you feel about your parents how
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do you feel about your future wife have
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you not met anyone what do you want from
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that person and this will only happen
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when men begin to talk to the women
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nearest to them their moms their sisters
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about topics other than their careers or
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you know surface level you need to
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go to three layers deep that's how you
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become more emotionally aware as a man
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[Music]
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you
