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in this video we're going to look at how
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to create positive relationships
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especially in professional settings so
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let's unpack it
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[Music]
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C.S Lewis the famous writer once said
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that friendship is unnecessary like
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philosophy like art it has no survival
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value rather it is one of those things
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that gives value to survival in this
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video we're going to talk about creating
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positive relationships especially in
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professional settings there are a lot of
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benefits to creating more positive
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relationships first of all when you're
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positive with other people it tends to
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enhance the overall atmosphere for
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everybody second benefit is it is
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contagious research shows them when you
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treat other people this way they tend to
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reciprocate and treat you in a friendly
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way back so it increases the benefits
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for everybody and lastly one of the
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awesome benefits for leaders is that
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when people like them and get along with
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them they're willing to go farther for
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you to get the job done it's called
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referent power so you increase your
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positive influence just by creating
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positive relationships with other people
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so the bottom line of this video is that
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you can create more positive
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relationships through friendliness and
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likability with the people around you
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and I'm going to give you three tips to
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help you move in that direction
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[Music]
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so the first tip is the foundation for
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everything else that we talk about in
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this video and that is you want to take
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a genuine interest in other people
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I know that nowadays this is not the
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most popular way to handle interactions
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and relationships because we're all so
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self-focused and we're all consumed with
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everything that we have to get done but
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you'll probably notice that the people
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who really touch you the most and who
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really reach out to you the most take a
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genuine interest in your lives when we
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are only focused on ourselves we don't
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tend to connect well with other people
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and so what you want to do is first of
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all in your mind say I'm just going to
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take an interest in this person right
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now make it all about them for a little
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while ask them questions about their
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work ask them questions about their
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lives outside of work ask them questions
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about where they're from people love
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talking about where they grew up and
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this is how you can do this begin to
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take an interest in other people and
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watch what happens to your relationships
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[Music]
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tip number two is be easy to get along
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with now I know a lot of high
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maintenance people they're fussy and
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controlling hip-hop things and let's
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hope that's not you but if it's you make
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sure you are easier to get along with
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than you used to be it really helps in a
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lot of ways for example if you have a
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tone of approachability so when people
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come to you you're patient you're kind
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you're generous and attentive with your
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time that's easy to get along with that
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are approachability you also don't want
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to be high maintenance you want to be
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low maintenance high maintenance people
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get very fussy about things they have a
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lot of particulars that they insist upon
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and you don't want to be like that when
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change comes your way do your best to go
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with the flow to be flexible to be easy
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to get along with you don't want to be
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high maintenance you want to be low
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maintenance
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wow
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and the third tip is to be generous with
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your encouragement you know words of
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encouragement that's one of the five
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love languages and when you're pointing
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out specific things about what people
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are good at around you what you
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appreciate about them it really can
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reach into their hearts and develop a
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bond between you both because it's one
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of the most precious things to us is
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when people are encouraging I don't know
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about you but I have literally gone
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years in certain work situations where I
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got almost no encouragement from the
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work people around me there are many
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toxic workplaces out there and if you're
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in one of these you can be a positive
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force for change by beginning to
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encourage what you see in other people I
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use these three tips every day at work
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as some of you may know I am a college
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teacher and when I am in the classroom
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even though I'm there to teach and they
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have to perform well to earn good grades
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I know that positive relationships in
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the classroom create a better atmosphere
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for everybody and it helps the students
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work harder so when I get there right
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from the beginning I take an interest in
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their lives I'm approachable and easy to
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get along with I give them lots of
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encouragement and as a result we're not
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just we don't just benefit from having a
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wonderful atmosphere we also benefit
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because those students are much more
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willing to work harder in my class my
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classes are challenging but they will go
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the distance and they will rise to that
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level of high expectation because they
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know I care about them I've showed that
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I care about them when people know that
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you are for them they are going to go
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further for you that is the bottom line
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and that is one of the best things about
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establishing positive relationships in
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addition to the benefit of relationships
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in general now if you're in a
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professional setting you're a supervisor
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of some sort this does not mean you have
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to be friends outside of work and spend
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a ton of social time with people out
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outside of the boundaries of work I
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don't hang out with my students on the
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weekends for example and I know many
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supervisors want to keep a boundary
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between work and private life and that's
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completely appropriate and I support
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that 100 other people a little more
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flexible with those boundaries which can
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also work but when you're at work when
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you're face to face with people the key
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is to build those positive relationships
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when you can and you'll see that you
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don't really have to spend all that much
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time outside of work to bond with them
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foreign
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[Music]
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summary you can create more positive
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relationships with people through
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friendliness and likability by using
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these three tips your homework is very
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simple I want you to think of one
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specific person in fact I want you to
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think of that person right now I have
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somebody in mind and I want you to take
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one or more of these tips that we've
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talked about in this video and apply it
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in that next conversation that you have
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with that person and then watch what
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happens to that relationship over time
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as you continue to do this I like to
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finish with a quotation from the great
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Mother Teresa she said kind words can be
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short and easy to speak but their Echoes
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are truly endless
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thanks I'll see you in the next video
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hope that you found that lesson on
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creating positive relationships helpful
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we're getting toward the end of a
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five-part mini course in essential
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professional communication skills I'll
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put a link to all five lessons in the
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description below this video as well as
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to the downloadable PDF quick guide that
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summarizes all the tips for you in one
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place and links to all those videos so
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you can get right to them if you would
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like to so let's get into the next video
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on collaborative problem solving
