00:00:00
do you ever throw hogtied civilians on a
00:00:01
train tracks in Red Dead Redemption and
00:00:03
find yourself thinking I love the wild
00:00:05
west well you're stupid firstly because
00:00:08
Red Dead Redemption takes place over a
00:00:09
decade after the wild West's silly goose
00:00:11
and secondly because life in the
00:00:13
American frontier was far from the bank
00:00:15
Robin gun flourish in Route 2 in
00:00:17
Wonderland we've all come to know and
00:00:18
love in today's pop culture but what if
00:00:20
you just so happen to be best friends
00:00:22
with an 80 year old theoretical
00:00:23
physicist who got stranded in 1885 and
00:00:25
needs you to take his EPA violating time
00:00:27
machine built out of a stupidly
00:00:28
overhyped car to rescue him from your
00:00:30
high school Bully's great grandfather
00:00:33
don't you worry kiddo seeing as how the
00:00:36
situation is all too likely I decided to
00:00:38
put together a little guide for all you
00:00:39
McCree wannabes to show you exactly how
00:00:42
to survive the wild west
00:00:49
thank you
00:00:55
ah here we are Alex the wild west the
00:00:58
area of the United States that's vaguely
00:01:00
defined by historians as being somewhere
00:01:03
the stunning Landscapes are crawling
00:01:05
with Rich resources massive herds of
00:01:07
American Bison Rome from the Great Basin
00:01:09
to the Appalachians while the expansive
00:01:11
Flatlands find themselves home to enough
00:01:13
corn beans and squash to bring a tear to
00:01:15
any Midwestern grandmother's eye the
00:01:17
geography ranges from grassy Plains so
00:01:19
large you might just call them great to
00:01:21
Mountain Soul rugged you could even say
00:01:22
they're Rocky to deserts so arid they've
00:01:25
earned the rank of being the second
00:01:26
hottest place on Earth
00:01:28
second only to Markiplier is only fans
00:01:30
and of course to accompany all these
00:01:32
diverse ecosystems and resources are an
00:01:34
equal number of diverse American Indian
00:01:36
cultures to live off them oh my gosh
00:01:38
this this is beautiful you're right this
00:01:41
is not how I pictured the wild west at
00:01:42
all so did I just like get my resume to
00:01:45
achieve or nah hold up don't go all
00:01:47
Dances with Wolves quite yet Alex this
00:01:48
piece of junk took us too far back just
00:01:50
gotta calibrate this flux bullshitator
00:01:52
okay good to go hop in
00:01:57
Ah that's more like it welcome to the
00:02:00
wild west despite its long-standing
00:02:02
history the archetypal Wild West period
00:02:04
refers to only a small stretch of time
00:02:06
between the end of the Civil War to the
00:02:07
1890 census or the early 1900s depending
00:02:10
on which smart people institution you
00:02:12
ask but now we're standing on brand
00:02:13
spanking new American territory baby
00:02:16
which was taken from Mexico and France
00:02:19
who took it from Spain
00:02:20
who partially took it from France
00:02:22
who took it from the natives we just met
00:02:24
but still pretty new go on taking a deep
00:02:26
breath of Freedom
00:02:27
what happened to them you happened Alex
00:02:31
me but I just got here you sure did and
00:02:34
in record time too thanks to your shiny
00:02:36
new railroad system a life-altering
00:02:38
technological Leap Forward in rural
00:02:40
Transit perfect for manifesting
00:02:41
Destinies and kickstarting dust bowls
00:02:43
but what about all the Bison
00:02:46
well Alex surely we can't have all those
00:02:48
2 000 pound hunks of meat Waltzing
00:02:50
around on train tracks think about
00:02:51
dangerous that would be
00:02:53
to our schedules so those numbers were
00:02:56
knocked down a couple million to open
00:02:57
things up a bit but only after we
00:02:58
graciously borrowed their Trails for
00:03:00
railroad paths thanks bison what 60
00:03:03
million they killed that many just to
00:03:05
avoid some train damage or delays and
00:03:07
well that into forced Native Americans
00:03:09
into submission turns out pretty easy to
00:03:11
do when you decimate their primary
00:03:13
source of food in a major sacred symbol
00:03:14
for many tribes for perspective think
00:03:17
the devastation that befalls America
00:03:19
today when Starbucks stopped selling our
00:03:20
current sacred symbol the pumpkin spice
00:03:22
latte but multiply it by a couple
00:03:24
thousand hey Tahoma I feel like we got
00:03:27
off on the wrong foot so I wanted to
00:03:29
lighten things up a bit with a little
00:03:30
little joke that I came up with seeing
00:03:33
as how you people love those Buffalo so
00:03:35
much
00:03:37
what did the Buffalo
00:03:39
say to his son
00:03:42
is it bye son no no no no he didn't say
00:03:45
anything because it doesn't have a son
00:03:48
because he's dead
00:03:50
I killed him
00:03:52
I killed all the Bison Tahoma to the
00:03:55
American settlers the West symbolized
00:03:56
Independence and freedom from government
00:03:58
a proposition so tempting that people
00:04:00
were willing to uproot their lives and
00:04:02
travel hundreds of miles over land made
00:04:04
traversable by state-sponsored railroads
00:04:06
to homesteads made possible by federal
00:04:08
legislation on land made open by
00:04:10
government ammunition
00:04:13
ah you smell that Ezekiel that's Freedom
00:04:17
right there no big brother here
00:04:21
okay this sucks you win please take me
00:04:24
back to my Playstation oh great you just
00:04:26
save me 15 minutes hey hey
00:04:30
shoot he just took our catalytic
00:04:32
converter I thought this was the Wild
00:04:33
West not North Philly well at least now
00:04:36
we can get past the eight minute Mark
00:04:37
and Daddy needs his minerals so lessons
00:04:39
back on Alex seeing as how you're here
00:04:41
to stay we're gonna need to hook you up
00:04:42
with a career now there were a ton of
00:04:44
options and with how expansive and
00:04:45
diverse the various regions are you
00:04:47
really shouldn't generalize life in the
00:04:49
Wild West
00:04:50
anyway let's have a pick between a
00:04:52
cowboy Miner or prostitute oh uh Cowboy
00:04:56
classic Choice Alex let me just keep the
00:04:59
VHS trailer for Cowboys here
00:05:03
at 13 minutes past the 13th Hour on the
00:05:07
13th day of the 13th month the McCormick
00:05:10
County rabbit puncher James H Wallace
00:05:13
strode into the small town of amadillo
00:05:15
baldeep looking for rabbits as he turned
00:05:18
the corner of Baba's skanky shank and
00:05:20
dank Barbershop he spotted little cindy
00:05:22
Clan with her beloved bunny sir hops a
00:05:25
lot enjoying a scoop of radish ice cream
00:05:27
and amadillo Ball Deep staple Wallace
00:05:30
grabbed for Cindy's bouncy rodent and
00:05:33
hoisted him in the dusty air Fizz
00:05:35
clinched in zealous anticipation to
00:05:38
spread his rabbit punching Vendetta to
00:05:40
bus ball County it was then that the
00:05:43
heretofore unnoticed Cowboy two Stone
00:05:46
filbert cheese steak the sandwich hate
00:05:48
and Gunslinger stepped forward from the
00:05:50
shadow of the Balloon Saloon to
00:05:52
challenge The Outsider to a duel
00:05:54
legendary on neither side of the
00:05:56
Mississippi filled but Cheesesteak stood
00:05:58
in the dirt road across from his mammal
00:06:01
Fist and adversary hand over and over
00:06:04
his sick shooter the bell rang and
00:06:06
Wallace was shot down losing on the draw
00:06:09
after remembering he didn't own a
00:06:11
firearm seeing the rabbit puncher slowly
00:06:13
bleed out on the street the cowboy
00:06:15
approached him and in a show of Mercy
00:06:18
proceeded to stab him 37 times in the
00:06:21
knee until he died from old age two
00:06:24
minutes later Cowboy Phil but cheese
00:06:26
steak the bunny Defender then rode off
00:06:28
into the sunset forever to be remembered
00:06:31
for his heroic defense of Cindy Cline's
00:06:33
Honor by shooting and stabbing an
00:06:35
unarmed Foreigner well Alex what'd you
00:06:38
think that's awesome I'd love to be a
00:06:40
heroic gunslinging
00:06:43
Cowboys oh no that's just a teaser for a
00:06:45
western film I'm making that's not what
00:06:47
a Cowboy is well he just Witnesses the
00:06:49
modern interpretation of an old west
00:06:50
Cowboy made Popular by Hollywood and
00:06:53
dime novels a valiant and mysterious
00:06:55
gunslinging Nomad who traveled from town
00:06:57
to town to bring Justice often while
00:06:59
fabulously dressed but in reality all
00:07:02
this need to understand Cowboy does is
00:07:04
the name itself you heard cows
00:07:07
well this sucks don't speak too soon
00:07:09
this is probably the most chill part of
00:07:11
your entire work day which is about 15
00:07:12
to 20 hours by the way your day of
00:07:14
cattle driving horse wiping and repair
00:07:16
providing was lonely and dull which
00:07:19
might sound like a dream at first to you
00:07:20
introverts I know my audience until you
00:07:22
take into account the pay of 25 to 40 a
00:07:24
month exhausting manual labor and
00:07:26
feeling almost as disgusted with
00:07:28
yourself as I hope KFC's head chef feels
00:07:30
he'll get six hours of sleep at most and
00:07:32
unlike your working life you won't be
00:07:33
lonely in your bedroll your horse is
00:07:35
your best friend until one wrong move
00:07:36
turns you into its best training wheel
00:07:38
and of course there's the Cowboys worst
00:07:40
nightmare the Stampede thousands of
00:07:42
pounds of moon meat charging at top
00:07:44
speed crushing everything in their path
00:07:46
and all it took was one small spook to
00:07:48
set one off
00:07:50
Craig they hit the Pentagon while
00:07:52
overall pretty mundane there were a
00:07:54
handful of exciting aspects of a Cowboys
00:07:56
career for example you've probably been
00:07:58
sitting there thinking but they play
00:07:59
with cool swingy ropes that's right
00:08:01
sport they did in fact use lassos to
00:08:03
Wrangle cattle however it's often left
00:08:05
out why they had to do this I like this
00:08:08
game so what now
00:08:10
you busted my balls Jesse
00:08:13
wait one of the biggest events in the
00:08:15
Cowboys career was the long drive where
00:08:18
they drove large herds of cattle to
00:08:19
Railroad stations to be sold off while
00:08:21
this is finally starting to sound like
00:08:22
some cool cow puncher stuff a cow
00:08:24
puncher is another name for cowboy
00:08:26
riding on Horseback for thousands of
00:08:28
miles is not as easy as it seems
00:08:29
something horse jockeys Aiden Ross or
00:08:32
others used to ride and get a test too
00:08:33
and sure it might not be an adventurous
00:08:35
Fantastical as Clint Eastwood's riding
00:08:37
off with a beautiful woman of
00:08:39
questionable age who you wooed from a
00:08:40
small town after two conversations with
00:08:42
we've still got hundreds of open miles
00:08:43
to roam with beautiful young Bessie here
00:08:46
oh she is sweet she sure is now load her
00:08:51
up Alex where are we taking her to I
00:08:53
think the better question is what are we
00:08:54
making her into
00:08:57
a cheeseburger Alex what beautiful
00:08:59
Bessie is too precious to make it to a
00:09:01
burger hmm you're right maybe a filet
00:09:03
mignon I don't want to be a cowboy all
00:09:05
right then what's next uh
00:09:08
I I guess minor brilliant choice no
00:09:11
you're later trailing off the tail end
00:09:13
of the California Gold Rush mining was a
00:09:15
tantalizing proposition for men
00:09:17
desperate to make their Fortune it was
00:09:19
such a popular draw that many U.S states
00:09:21
were initially settled by Prospectors
00:09:23
and miners hoping to strike gold or
00:09:24
silver how to partner there was gold in
00:09:27
these parts sure what's with the pickaxe
00:09:30
what am I my fortune of course
00:09:33
all right man if that's what you're into
00:09:35
go on in well thank you kindly partner
00:09:38
little damp in here well a few minutes
00:09:40
to strike it rich the unfortunate
00:09:42
reality was that you were far more
00:09:43
likely to find yourself working for poor
00:09:45
wages and terrifying conditions keep in
00:09:48
mind these were the times where
00:09:49
industrial safety was more of a punch
00:09:51
line than a guideline so you had a lot
00:09:53
to worry about being an old west Miner
00:09:54
such as the three E's explosions
00:09:57
electrocutions and asphyxiations
00:09:59
asphyxiation starts with an a some mines
00:10:02
would utilize a long series of ladders
00:10:04
to descend hundreds of feet into the
00:10:05
Earth which meant if you were too tired
00:10:07
at the end of the day you might not
00:10:08
reach the top successfully so hopefully
00:10:10
you haven't been spending 12 hours
00:10:11
punching rocks or something silica
00:10:13
exposure was also a problem and miners
00:10:15
would often inhale large amounts of it
00:10:17
on the job which would tickle their
00:10:18
lungs a little bit and by tickle I mean
00:10:20
silicosis which became tuberculosis
00:10:23
which they died from in 10 times the
00:10:25
national average you'd also be exposed
00:10:27
to carbon monoxide poor ventilation
00:10:28
dirty drinking water mercury poisoning
00:10:30
lead poisoning arsenic poisoning alcohol
00:10:32
poisoning throw it dart at the periodic
00:10:34
table and it's probably in your blood
00:10:35
have to go there's plenty of room need
00:10:38
to count why don't you use your fingers
00:10:39
just kidding in a lot of ways Frontier
00:10:41
mining was like a casino you go in
00:10:43
hoping to strike it rich but inside you
00:10:45
find flashing lights bodily fluids and
00:10:48
in the end The House Always Wins okay
00:10:50
okay never mind I'll do anything but
00:10:52
mining all right then
00:10:55
what's your next pick
00:10:58
now hold on the world's oldest
00:11:00
profession is a common Trope in western
00:11:02
films but the prevalence and impact
00:11:04
tends to be a bit overstated for example
00:11:06
the popular idea that prostitutes for
00:11:08
the first people to arrive and develop
00:11:09
the West is more folklore than fact in
00:11:12
reality they often waited until
00:11:13
Community was more developed before uh
00:11:15
setting up shop if you will most women
00:11:17
in the west pursued a variety of
00:11:19
Enterprises to make money but don't you
00:11:21
worry Alex hooker certainly did exist
00:11:23
and while I wasn't most women's
00:11:25
profession less competition means more
00:11:27
clientele but why choose the scandalous
00:11:30
life well maybe you're a widow in need
00:11:32
of cash or a Savvy entrepreneur looking
00:11:34
to score big after crypto Ranch didn't
00:11:36
pan out by the way you came to the wild
00:11:38
west for the same reason as everyone
00:11:40
else opportunity and Glory
00:11:43
holes for work you've got quite a few
00:11:46
options you could be a residence
00:11:47
prostitute where on the upside you get
00:11:49
to work from home but on the downside
00:11:51
you get to work from home
00:11:52
where your children live if permanent
00:11:55
psychological trauma isn't your
00:11:56
parenting style you could always join a
00:11:58
brothel these establishments were as
00:12:00
traditional as it gets just an empty
00:12:02
room and a bunch of bedrooms to learn
00:12:03
about the birds and the bees uh oh here
00:12:05
comes the boss lady with her Home Depot
00:12:07
paint card don't mind her she's just
00:12:09
checking your skin color too much
00:12:10
melanin puts you in the special room
00:12:12
maybe you'd rather be a saloon girl who
00:12:14
a lot of the time were not literal
00:12:16
prostitutes but rather woman who would
00:12:18
charm and Revitalize the clientele of a
00:12:20
saloon but this was still considered
00:12:21
pretty taboo merely having a woman in a
00:12:24
saloon at all was already unheard of
00:12:25
Back East where they treasured their
00:12:27
masculinity so much that they couldn't
00:12:29
have anyone around who liked men that
00:12:31
would be gay often called Painted Ladies
00:12:33
as the harlots had the audacity to wear
00:12:35
makeup saloon girls were often paid in
00:12:37
alcohol sales so you'll need to keep
00:12:39
them binge drinking for as long as
00:12:40
possible you gotta charm them talk them
00:12:42
up a bit form a one-sided emotional
00:12:45
relationship trust me I'm a YouTuber
00:12:46
while your clients are catching feelings
00:12:48
you'll be catching diseases like their
00:12:50
Pokemon look you've even got a few
00:12:51
legendaries look it's nothing a little
00:12:53
visit from the Mercury fairy can't fix
00:12:55
getting stressed not to worry many
00:12:57
prostitutes perfected the art of
00:12:59
relaxation to help them deal with the
00:13:01
woes of the trade she does look calm
00:13:03
yeah opiates will do that what they just
00:13:05
abused painkillers come now that wasn't
00:13:07
their only method
00:13:09
there's also codeine chloroform laudnam
00:13:11
tonics and of course good old-fashioned
00:13:14
alcohol
00:13:15
but most importantly you got to ensure
00:13:17
your social class in the red light
00:13:18
Community is well received you want to
00:13:20
be like Marianne over there a widowed
00:13:22
mother taking all the business she can
00:13:24
get to support her kids disgusting you
00:13:26
want to be like ash over here who worked
00:13:28
your way up the social ladder to
00:13:29
eventually take on better Ventures like
00:13:31
owning prostitutes freedom is the
00:13:34
ultimate goal of all red light women
00:13:35
after all and all it takes is a little
00:13:37
elbow grease business savvy and not
00:13:40
being Chinese assuming you secure a job
00:13:42
you now gotta find a place to live your
00:13:44
options of course will depend on the
00:13:45
region and if you're far out in the
00:13:47
frontier you'll need to get your hands
00:13:48
dirty and build your own house if you
00:13:50
got trees around you can build yourself
00:13:51
a log cabin it's pretty simple really
00:13:53
all you need to do is gather up several
00:13:55
tons of stone for a foundation chop down
00:13:58
dozens of trees by hand and lift 500
00:14:00
pound logs into place all by your
00:14:01
lonesome but in the end you'll have a
00:14:03
roughly 10 by 20 foot cabin which is
00:14:05
plenty of room for you and your wife and
00:14:08
your 10 kids recycling stuff from your
00:14:10
journey out west will also save you a
00:14:11
lot of time Empty Barrel that's a
00:14:13
rocking chair storage trunk how about a
00:14:16
dresser dead kid you mean fertilizer all
00:14:19
in all your log cabin will be cramped
00:14:20
cold and pretty much just block the wind
00:14:22
a little but hey if the Unabomber could
00:14:24
live in one so can you but out on the
00:14:26
planes you don't have any trees just a
00:14:28
bunch of grass really so the settlers
00:14:30
had to coordinate an intricate supply
00:14:32
chain effort to Source materials now to
00:14:34
just use the grass introducing the sod
00:14:37
house which is one letter off from sad
00:14:39
much like your first time playing
00:14:40
Minecraft a thought house had a pretty
00:14:42
creative design your floors were made
00:14:44
out of dirt now for your walls let's use
00:14:46
some dirt as for your ceiling better go
00:14:49
with the classic dirt you could
00:14:51
practically already see the smile on the
00:14:52
wife's face when she sees this here we
00:14:54
are dear our new home this what is this
00:14:57
a sod house made out of high quality
00:15:00
dirt imported all the way from the
00:15:02
backyard this is disgusting why on Earth
00:15:04
would you drag our family out here to
00:15:06
live like pigs this is what you wanted
00:15:08
you always said you wish we were dirtier
00:15:10
in bed despite the near total isolation
00:15:12
you will get some visitors from time to
00:15:13
time as one settler vote every afternoon
00:15:16
the rattlesnakes would come out of their
00:15:18
hidden dens in the walls and roof and
00:15:21
Sun themselves on the western windowsill
00:15:23
to have fun Cinderella as you can
00:15:26
imagine even the best of sod houses
00:15:27
would leak when it rained but at least
00:15:29
that means you'll have a fun little
00:15:30
indoor water park you know as long as
00:15:32
the roof doesn't decide to join in your
00:15:34
journey out west was quite the
00:15:35
environment change from the big city to
00:15:37
the back rooms and with all this space
00:15:39
the kits had plenty to do running in a
00:15:42
circle running in a square developing
00:15:44
Prairie Madness you know the life
00:15:46
despite the lackluster conditions
00:15:47
frontiersmen did do their best to
00:15:49
introduce some comfort to the home for
00:15:51
example as a substitute for wallpaper
00:15:53
some families just plastered their walls
00:15:55
with newspapers to help keep out drafts
00:15:57
so now you can add reading the wall to
00:15:59
your list of fun home activities but at
00:16:01
this point we're pretty much just one
00:16:02
straight jacket away from an insane
00:16:04
asylum while the wild west was a rather
00:16:06
violent place with high murder rates it
00:16:08
wasn't as if you had a Dodge bullets
00:16:09
every day like Hollywood would make you
00:16:11
believe unless you're a native in fact
00:16:13
many wild west towns would have you
00:16:14
turning in any guns you had upon entry
00:16:16
so don't fret too much about Bandits no
00:16:19
need to worry over Gunslingers in fact
00:16:21
the only gun you really need to be
00:16:22
worried about is your own because life
00:16:24
in the wild west was boring as
00:16:25
there were still a few Hobbies you could
00:16:27
pursue like alcoholism drinking was very
00:16:30
popular in the wild west so much so that
00:16:32
doctors poured almost as much liquor as
00:16:33
bar keeps which was fantastic for people
00:16:36
like priests who couldn't be seen
00:16:37
entering the ladder and luckily for you
00:16:39
the wild west was home to many creative
00:16:41
individuals who came up with some rather
00:16:42
interesting concoctions take Nicholas
00:16:45
Ambrose for instance who was drinking
00:16:47
liquor when he thought to himself
00:16:50
yeah not enough spiders introducing
00:16:52
tarantula juice a cocktail famous for
00:16:55
having a strong bite in causing muscle
00:16:57
spasms that felt like having dozens of
00:16:59
baby tarantulas crawling on your skin go
00:17:01
on take a sip Alex
00:17:04
muscle spasms huh sounds like something
00:17:06
a sugar rush would do no it sounds like
00:17:09
something a neurotoxin would do and
00:17:10
that's because this fun little potion
00:17:12
was made up of wood grain alcohol rosin
00:17:15
tobacco juice sulfuric acid hydrogen
00:17:18
cyanide and everyone's favorite rat
00:17:20
poison strick9 which was making its
00:17:22
third appearance on this channel with
00:17:24
all those flavors tarantula juice was
00:17:26
said to produce effects similar to
00:17:27
methamphetamine now if you are in the
00:17:29
mood for lockjaw you could always go for
00:17:31
a classic drink but be careful ordering
00:17:33
liquor out here was kind of like playing
00:17:34
Minesweeper uh-oh looks like someone hit
00:17:37
a mine don't worry you're not gonna
00:17:39
explode I think I mean you did just
00:17:42
drink gunpowder I ordered whiskey that
00:17:45
you did however many wild west saloons
00:17:47
would cut their whiskey with things like
00:17:48
gunpowder Cayenne or even ammonia to
00:17:51
save on liquor costs here you go hey
00:17:53
Keith this whiskey smelled funny to you
00:17:55
oh yeah keep it quiet but I've been
00:17:57
cutting the whiskey with this cheap
00:17:59
almond juice to save money almond
00:18:01
this is ammonia
00:18:04
like to unclog a sink you can't be
00:18:06
serving this to customers my cells hurt
00:18:09
let me see that
00:18:10
Oh I thought I said almond juice how
00:18:12
could you possibly think that are you
00:18:13
just celexic severely what Keith you
00:18:15
know our policy
00:18:17
sir I still haven't seen any dangerous
00:18:19
accordions gee Alex you're not looking
00:18:21
too good well fortunately we'll be able
00:18:23
to fix you up at our next stop the local
00:18:25
Medicine Show combining Healthcare and
00:18:27
Showbiz these exhibitions featured a
00:18:29
traveling salesman who would use
00:18:31
entertainment to draw a crowd and peddle
00:18:33
whatever poppycock Miracle medicines
00:18:34
they had on hand this entertainment
00:18:36
could include everything from
00:18:37
storytelling to magic shows to freak
00:18:39
shows which I covered already in this
00:18:41
little guy these acts would continue
00:18:42
until the salesman sold off all their
00:18:44
patent medicine which weren't actually
00:18:46
patented but the word sounded cool so
00:18:49
they used it anyway to help prove the
00:18:50
effectiveness of their tonics they would
00:18:52
often insert paid actors into the
00:18:54
audience who they could then pretend to
00:18:55
pick out at random to miraculously cure
00:18:57
of all their ailments gather round folks
00:19:00
and feast your eyes frive got tonics
00:19:02
treatments and dyes as for your ailments
00:19:05
do not fret nor cry for I have arrived
00:19:07
Mr Dr Delight what in tarnation did he
00:19:11
say oh oh Kansas
00:19:14
me have medicine oh he got them killed
00:19:17
wow them be some fancy time I got that
00:19:20
chlamydia do they work though I love
00:19:22
drinking fluids now to demonstrate the
00:19:24
healing abilities of my patent medicine
00:19:26
I shall request the assistance of an
00:19:29
audience member me yes you sir come on
00:19:32
up and tell us what else you I've got
00:19:35
this really bad cough wow sounds genuine
00:19:41
no worries stranger I've got this cure
00:19:44
for you my gluten-free snake oil Mercury
00:19:47
Miracle shall wash away all coughs pains
00:19:50
and Kinks whilst invigorating the body
00:19:52
oh my gosh my my cough is gone as you
00:19:56
can see he is now cure my vision Jesus I
00:20:00
Can See For Miles yes another perk your
00:20:04
vision shall be sharpened holy I
00:20:06
understand differential calculus the
00:20:09
tonic enhances the mind and I'm fluent
00:20:12
in an Italian Mamma Mia spaghetti all
00:20:16
right that's enough now stranger oh my
00:20:18
God my bean is so big jeez they fell for
00:20:20
that crazy right getting their health
00:20:22
care advice through performative
00:20:23
entertainment that's ridiculous the
00:20:25
people of the past were clearly way
00:20:27
stupider than we are today however those
00:20:29
weren't the only shows in town you could
00:20:31
also go see a Minstrel show a form of
00:20:33
theater consisting of various skits and
00:20:35
acts which also quite inclusive look not
00:20:37
only did they have white people but also
00:20:39
black people played by white people
00:20:41
don't worry Alex these shows eventually
00:20:43
died out but some say their legacy lives
00:20:46
on in the form of Canadian Prime
00:20:47
Ministers you could also go to a rodeo
00:20:49
and watch men simulate a battle against
00:20:51
animals on the frontier by mildly
00:20:53
annoying them or you to go explore it
00:20:54
yourself just look out for everything
00:20:56
want more Thrills how about you go see a
00:20:58
dead body or maybe watch them get made
00:21:00
feeling vice-like why don't you try your
00:21:01
hand at gambling uh-oh looks like we got
00:21:04
a sore loser where's the sheriff when
00:21:06
you need him no there he is all in all
00:21:08
the Hobbies weren't numerous but at the
00:21:10
end of the day you're just looking for
00:21:11
something that dull the pain before you
00:21:13
get back to work the next day now let's
00:21:15
talk about the hygiene oh hey is that
00:21:17
your scientist friend yes doc please get
00:21:19
me out of here I can't take this I don't
00:21:21
want to be a hooker I just want to play
00:21:22
my PlayStation please fix the time
00:21:24
machine I can't live in a dirt house I
00:21:26
don't wanna like spiders down calm down
00:21:28
Alex I would but transporting back in
00:21:31
time has taken a toll on my mental
00:21:33
fortitude my fundamental goodness sense
00:21:35
of arithmetic in the phenomena of
00:21:37
physical interactivity has diminished
00:21:39
English I don't understand math anymore
00:21:41
Alex oh doc looks like someone could use
00:21:45
a little refresher on their fundamentals
00:21:46
even a time-traveling prodigy physicist
00:21:49
can get a little rusty but luckily for
00:21:51
you brilliant.org is one of the best
00:21:53
online resources out there to learn
00:21:55
about math and science interactively
00:21:56
it's got thousands of lessons from logic
00:21:59
puzzles to physics to casino probability
00:22:01
to learn how to score jackpots every
00:22:03
single time blue jay is using sarcasm as
00:22:07
many of you know I work full-time as a
00:22:09
chemical engineer and having graduated
00:22:11
from college a few years back I noticed
00:22:13
my engineering fundamentals were
00:22:14
beginning to weaken so I've personally
00:22:16
found brilliant quite brilliant for
00:22:18
brushing up on some of my core stem
00:22:20
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00:22:21
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00:22:23
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00:22:25
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00:22:31
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00:22:42
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00:22:44
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sponsoring the video Great Scott Alex
00:22:52
I've remembered how to time travel yes
00:22:54
yes let's leave sure thing we just need
00:22:57
a few hundred grams of zinc Alex My Boy
00:23:00
tell me do you know how to mine
00:23:06
here you go buddy the wild west boring
00:23:10
and dirty but gave us Val Kilmer's best
00:23:12
performance 5 out of 10 Stars
00:23:15
[Music]
00:23:15
[Applause]
00:23:18
[Music]
00:23:18
[Applause]
00:23:22
[Music]
00:23:25
foreign
00:23:29
[Music]