00:00:00
What would happen if we treated friendships with
00:00:03
the same reverence and grace or pursued them
00:00:06
with the same fervency and tenacity as we
00:00:10
do romantic relationships?
00:00:12
We see it in all sorts of media,
00:00:14
we see it represented in our daily lives
00:00:16
as we observe the people around us, that
00:00:18
romantic partnerships always take preeminence.
00:00:22
They are the grand prize of life.
00:00:24
After you've done all the things, the reward
00:00:26
is that you eventually find your person.
00:00:28
So of course, the majority of us carry
00:00:31
that messaging.
00:00:32
Whether consciously or subconsciously, we internalise the idea
00:00:36
that there's this one person who will come
00:00:38
into our lives and make everything better and
00:00:41
that when they show up, all the suffering
00:00:43
and loss will finally make sense.
00:00:45
We learn both explicitly and implicitly that other
00:00:50
expressions of love, platonic, communal, are lovely, yes,
00:00:55
but lesser.
00:00:56
And I think especially for people with trauma,
00:00:59
those people with a deep history of neglect,
00:01:01
abandonment, abuse or loss, this is one of
00:01:04
the most enticing ways to escape reality.
00:01:07
When your world feels heavy, when you're drowning
00:01:10
in loneliness, shame or unmet needs, the idea
00:01:13
of one person showing up and finally seeing
00:01:16
you, finally staying, it's not just appealing, it
00:01:19
feels like a lifeline.
00:01:21
And listen, one of the ways I survived
00:01:23
my own childhood was by living in my
00:01:25
head, that's where I went.
00:01:26
I daydreamed often for really long hours of
00:01:29
a future where all the love I lacked
00:01:32
would arrive in the body of another.
00:01:34
Sometimes it looked like romance, sometimes it looked
00:01:37
like fame, sometimes it looked like standing on
00:01:39
a stage and being cheered on by many.
00:01:42
I wanted to be seen, I wanted someone
00:01:44
to make the aches stop and I won't
00:01:45
lie to you, those fantasies gave me something
00:01:48
to hold on to, something to look forward
00:01:50
to.
00:01:51
In fact, in some ways, they might have
00:01:52
helped and pushed me towards certain successes.
00:01:55
But at some point, you have to know
00:01:57
when the vision has expired, when the dream
00:02:00
becomes a distraction, when the fantasy starts pulling
00:02:04
you further and further away from your real
00:02:06
life, from your actual healing, from the people
00:02:10
who are trying to love you right now.
00:02:13
And let's be clear, I'm not here to
00:02:16
dismiss romantic connections, I love them, I love
00:02:20
them and I remain open to them when
00:02:23
they are right.
00:02:24
So this isn't one of those posts where
00:02:25
I'm trying to convince you that they don't
00:02:27
matter, they do.
00:02:29
I don't think there are any substitutes for
00:02:30
them either.
00:02:32
Every type of relationship has its place.
00:02:34
However, I do not find romantic love to
00:02:37
be a necessity for a balanced life or
00:02:40
an achievement of some sorts.
00:02:43
Yeah, they are not the apex of human
00:02:46
connection or a reward for being healed, beautiful
00:02:49
or worthy enough and it is certainly not
00:02:52
the only form of love that can transform
00:02:53
you.
00:02:56
I don't know if it's the same for
00:02:57
but when I was in school, I was
00:02:59
taught there were different types of love.
00:03:01
Eros, philia, storge, agape and I'm sure there
00:03:06
are more.
00:03:07
But no matter how I look at it,
00:03:08
as a functioning, growing adult experiencing life and
00:03:12
watching people experience theirs, it seems to me
00:03:15
that love itself is singular.
00:03:18
There are only different containers for it.
00:03:20
All those types we've been taught are just
00:03:23
the context in which love is shed.
00:03:26
The expression of love might shift depending on
00:03:29
the nature of the relationship but the essence,
00:03:31
the foundation are always the same.
00:03:35
Trust, presence, empathy, care, joy, safety, reciprocity, choice,
00:03:42
romantic attraction, chemistry, sexual tension, the spark.
00:03:46
Those things are beautiful but they are not
00:03:48
love.
00:03:49
They are elements that may or may not
00:03:51
be present in a particular expression of love
00:03:54
but they are not the substance and they
00:03:57
should not be confused for the substance with
00:04:00
the substance.
00:04:02
We are living in a time of increased
00:04:04
social fragmentation and I am glad it's beautiful
00:04:08
that people are finally beginning to wake up
00:04:10
to the concept of platonic soulmates, deep healing
00:04:14
friendships and non-erotic intimate companionships.
00:04:19
But it seems that many of us are
00:04:21
getting to this point from a place of
00:04:22
resignation and disillusionment with dating and romantic pursuits
00:04:26
that never quite delivered what was promised rather
00:04:30
than a real reverence and understanding of the
00:04:33
inherent and primary value of friendship.
00:04:37
So you hear things like, I'm done with
00:04:39
romance, it's too exhausting, I'll just stick with
00:04:42
my friends instead and without realising it, friendship
00:04:45
becomes a second tier fallback plan, a consolation
00:04:49
prize, a connection that gets bumped up in
00:04:52
your priorities only because you couldn't get what
00:04:54
you really wanted and if you actually did
00:04:57
get the romance of your dreams, those friends
00:04:59
will lose the priority they have right now
00:05:01
and it shows because we start to treat
00:05:05
friendships as another form of fantasy fulfillment or
00:05:09
as proof of our desirability.
00:05:12
Now you're looking for the best friend who
00:05:14
will be everything to you, you're wishing you
00:05:16
had the friend group, you know that one
00:05:18
that looks like that one you saw on
00:05:19
Instagram last week.
00:05:21
You're now jumping from the myth of the
00:05:23
romantic one to the myth of the communal
00:05:25
one and not to offend you but that's
00:05:28
probably why you keep finding yourself saying things
00:05:31
like or in situations where you have to
00:05:32
say things like, I don't have real friends,
00:05:34
I don't know where to find the real
00:05:35
ones who do this and do that, oh
00:05:37
I give too much, oh I always do,
00:05:39
no offence but I think that's why.
00:05:41
The issue is not that people don't want
00:05:43
to love you, the problem is the story
00:05:46
you're telling yourself about what love should look
00:05:48
like and when you meet people with that
00:05:50
lens on, you don't build, you perform, you
00:05:53
hide, you compare, you withhold, you test and
00:05:56
of course they fall short as they should,
00:05:58
they are human because you never actually let
00:06:01
them in, because you're measuring them against a
00:06:04
superhero that doesn't exist, that's not connection, that's
00:06:08
pressure, that's projection and that's how you sabotage
00:06:13
the very intimacy you say you want.
00:06:16
The idea of the one is a myth
00:06:19
in every context, romantic, platonic, communal.
00:06:23
We do the same with mentors, with dream
00:06:26
jobs, with healing practices, with future goals.
00:06:31
This thing that I'm chasing, that's the thing
00:06:33
that will fix everything and then we are
00:06:34
crushed when it doesn't.
00:06:36
When you approach relationships from an aching place,
00:06:39
you will try to force whatever comes along
00:06:41
to fit a preconceived template, a role you've
00:06:46
already written.
00:06:47
You won't meet the person in front of
00:06:49
you, you'll meet the role you've cast them
00:06:51
in and when people don't match with you,
00:06:54
you'll struggle to recognize it as a misalignment
00:06:57
or just life.
00:06:58
Instead you see it as a betrayal or
00:07:00
as proof of something about you and because
00:07:04
when it's not romantic, many of us have
00:07:06
been programmed not to keep trying to find
00:07:08
what we desire, we just give up because
00:07:11
you tried being friends with somebody once and
00:07:13
they did this and they did that.
00:07:14
Friendships suck and people suck and people can't
00:07:16
be trusted because they're always jealous and they
00:07:18
use you.
00:07:19
Whatever things people like to say and complain
00:07:20
about when it comes to friendships, with that
00:07:24
kind of mindset you must ask yourself, if
00:07:27
love stood in front of me right now,
00:07:30
firm, would I recognize it?
00:07:33
Am I looking for friendship or am I
00:07:36
looking for relief?
00:07:38
Am I looking for my people or am
00:07:40
I looking for a cure?
00:07:43
And I say this as someone who has
00:07:44
been burned and hurt by people whom I
00:07:47
called friends.
00:07:49
But listen to this, our relationships do not
00:07:52
exist as a resolution to our pain or
00:07:56
as a reward for enduring life.
00:07:59
People are not prizes, not prescriptions or consolation.
00:08:05
You can't place people in that space.
00:08:07
You have to meet and vet people outside
00:08:09
of your lack and I know for people
00:08:11
who have a lot of hurt, you carry
00:08:14
a lot of lack.
00:08:15
I can relate.
00:08:17
Every time I read comments like I wish
00:08:19
I had somebody who loves me or no
00:08:22
one sees me or no one cares about
00:08:23
me, I want to ask, aren't you someone?
00:08:27
And this is a genuine question.
00:08:29
Yes, it feels different to be witnessed by
00:08:32
other people but learning to validate your own
00:08:35
experience is one of the most radical, grounding
00:08:39
acts of preparation for healthy pairing and grouping
00:08:42
because when you validate yourself, you step out
00:08:45
of helplessness and into responsibility.
00:08:48
You stop waiting to be rescued, you start
00:08:51
practicing presence and presence makes you aware of
00:08:55
all the possibilities around you.
00:08:58
My best friend and I were such an
00:09:00
odd pairing who became besties at the end
00:09:03
of our third year of knowing each other
00:09:05
and now almost 11 years in, we are
00:09:08
similar like an old married couple but at
00:09:10
first, looking from the outside in, we were
00:09:13
from different planets.
00:09:14
I even have a poem about it.
00:09:17
But as we got to know each other
00:09:18
as chill friends, learning to love ourselves, we
00:09:21
started seeing the possibility of what a life
00:09:24
together could be.
00:09:25
We had an hour long conversation where we
00:09:28
decided to become best friends and what that
00:09:30
meant for us.
00:09:32
Which brings me to this.
00:09:35
It may not be that you haven't met
00:09:36
people who could care for you, it could
00:09:38
be that you are missing them because subconsciously,
00:09:41
you are still reserving yourself for the one
00:09:44
person or the people who will fix everything.
00:09:47
But the plot twist, the plot twist is
00:09:50
that it's always been you, my dear.
00:09:52
You are the only one who can save
00:09:54
you and this isn't to be cold.
00:09:58
Your unmet needs are valid but they predate
00:10:01
anyone you will ever meet.
00:10:04
How fair is it to place the emotional
00:10:06
weight of your entire unloved history on someone
00:10:09
else, especially if you're not even doing the
00:10:11
work to heal it yourself.
00:10:13
Why do you think it's okay to put
00:10:15
that on a stranger, all of that on
00:10:17
a stranger?
00:10:19
Isn't this why when it comes to romantic
00:10:21
pursuit, so many of us bypass friendship, bypass
00:10:24
process, bypass discernment and give people spots in
00:10:29
our lives they haven't even earned?
00:10:32
Even for people who could love you in
00:10:34
grounded reciprocal ways, it's too much too soon.
00:10:38
The weight of those expectations can be crushing
00:10:41
and when they set a boundary for their
00:10:44
own well-being, your wounded self interprets it
00:10:47
as rejection, as abandonment, as evidence that people
00:10:50
aren't safe.
00:10:53
The friendships you envy, they took effort, a
00:10:56
lot of effort, years, decades, conflict, repair, vulnerability,
00:11:02
shared life, they were built.
00:11:06
But how can you build that with someone
00:11:08
if you expect all of it right now
00:11:10
without the work?
00:11:12
And on the opposite side of the spectrum,
00:11:14
that desperation becomes a beacon for predators.
00:11:19
Abusive and twisted individuals can sense it.
00:11:23
They know exactly how to play that game.
00:11:25
All they have to do is mimic what
00:11:27
you're longing for, pretend that they are it.
00:11:31
They don't even need to know your whole
00:11:32
story, they just need to sense your hunger.
00:11:35
And once you're hooked, they twist it, they
00:11:37
become your fantasy and then your nightmare.
00:11:42
This dream of being rescued, of being healed
00:11:45
and saved by this big, great love that
00:11:49
is outside of yourself is seductive but it's
00:11:52
a cop-out.
00:11:54
You keep postponing your life, your healing, your
00:11:57
aliveness, waiting and looking for saviours in others,
00:12:01
all while you neglect the one person who
00:12:04
has always been there, you.
00:12:07
And all the people who could have become
00:12:09
your community if only you'd let go of
00:12:12
the fantasy you have in your head.
00:12:14
Give friendships and community the reverence they deserve.
00:12:20
Show up with the same desire to nurture
00:12:23
and grow as you do to the people
00:12:26
with the people you date or want to
00:12:28
date.
00:12:29
Be consistent.
00:12:31
Romantic bonds aren't the only space that deserve
00:12:34
your softness, your effort, your initiation.
00:12:38
We reserve our best for romantic potential, our
00:12:41
grace, our flowers, our dates, our late night
00:12:44
calls.
00:12:45
We try, we reach out, we ask questions,
00:12:47
we look stupid, we plan futures and then
00:12:51
we turn around and say, I can't find
00:12:52
real friends.
00:12:54
Think about it.
00:12:55
How many times have you had a romantic
00:12:56
connection where you gave your everything, your vulnerability,
00:12:59
your forgiveness, your devotion, even though it was
00:13:01
a toxic, soul-sucking bond.
00:13:04
But if your friends asked you for even
00:13:06
half, actually I'm being too generous, quarter of
00:13:10
what you gave in that relationship, you would
00:13:12
say they were asking for too much.
00:13:14
I'm not your man.
00:13:14
Stop treating me like I'm your man.
00:13:15
That's their problem.
00:13:17
That's exactly why you are suffering.
00:13:20
Friends are not extras.
00:13:21
They are not placeholders.
00:13:24
Your girlfriends do not exist to prove to
00:13:26
you that female friendships are better than coupling
00:13:28
with men.
00:13:29
They exist outside of that framework.
00:13:33
Allow them to be fully human.
00:13:34
Some of them will disappoint you.
00:13:36
Duh, they're human.
00:13:37
That's fair.
00:13:38
If it was a man, or for those
00:13:40
of you who don't swing that way, if
00:13:41
it was someone else you were romantically interested
00:13:43
in, you would you would try again.
00:13:47
Go above and beyond for friends like you
00:13:50
did for that ex that hated you.
00:13:52
Too many people looking for friends, yet not
00:13:54
nearly enough people going in with the intention
00:13:57
of being a true friend.
00:14:00
I had an encounter with somebody last year,
00:14:03
sometime last year.
00:14:04
I was so excited to be friends and
00:14:06
they purported to be looking for the same.
00:14:08
So you can imagine me.
00:14:09
I have childlike excitement.
00:14:10
I was all flapping and all, only to
00:14:12
find out that they were just there to
00:14:14
take and take and take and give nothing.
00:14:17
Of course that didn't work out.
00:14:18
That connection didn't work out.
00:14:19
But that's an example.
00:14:21
Show up with the giving too, not just
00:14:23
to siphon.
00:14:24
Put the same effort into friendships, into getting
00:14:27
to know other people who you're not attracted
00:14:28
in any other way.
00:14:30
You will notice more safety, more groundedness, more
00:14:33
healing in your life.
00:14:36
Let romance not be the only container where
00:14:39
you show your true self.
00:14:40
Go on dates with your friends.
00:14:43
Go on multiple dates with strangers to vet
00:14:46
them for friendship.
00:14:47
Yes, put yourself out there.
00:14:52
Say hi to that stranger.
00:14:54
Be weird.
00:14:56
Yes, open yourself up to the weirdness, up
00:14:59
to the awkwardness of being the one who
00:15:01
asks first, the one who might get rejected.
00:15:06
People do all sorts of sundry, jump up
00:15:08
and down, commit criminal offenses, if people actually
00:15:11
checked it, it's an offense, crime, just to
00:15:14
get to know that person they have a
00:15:16
crush on.
00:15:16
But you will not do it for the
00:15:17
person down the street that you're eyeing and
00:15:19
going, oh, I wonder what she's like.
00:15:22
But you say you want friends.
00:15:23
It's not me.
00:15:24
It's you.
00:15:24
You said you want friends.
00:15:25
It's not me.
00:15:25
I'm not forcing you.
00:15:27
You come here, nobody likes me.
00:15:29
Okay, really?
00:15:30
Nobody?
00:15:30
Out of the billions of people on earth?
00:15:33
Give me a break.
00:15:34
Keep trying.
00:15:35
Be open for things to go bad.
00:15:37
Be open to things going badly.
00:15:39
Send flowers if that's your style.
00:15:42
Write cute love notes and letters to people,
00:15:45
to your people.
00:15:45
Hug them, kiss them, hold their hands and
00:15:47
reassure them that they matter to you.
00:15:50
Make plans to build life with a platonic
00:15:52
soulmate.
00:15:53
Yes.
00:15:54
Not just your non-existent futuristic romantic partner
00:15:57
or partners.
00:15:58
Include your friends in your dreams.
00:16:00
The best way to get closer to someone
00:16:04
is by being increasingly vulnerable and watching how
00:16:07
they respond.
00:16:09
That's it.
00:16:10
That's the whole game.
00:16:12
Vulnerability is the litmus test.
00:16:15
If they lean in, beautiful.
00:16:16
Oh my God.
00:16:17
You keep building from there.
00:16:19
If they pull away, thank them for the
00:16:21
clarity.
00:16:21
Don't spiral.
00:16:22
Don't stop.
00:16:23
It doesn't mean anything about you.
00:16:25
Try again with new people.
00:16:27
Keep trying.
00:16:28
Never stop until you find a few people
00:16:31
who are willing to meet you where you
00:16:32
are.
00:16:33
Not perfectly, just honestly.
00:16:35
That's what counts.
00:16:38
If you can dethrone romantic attraction as the
00:16:41
pinnacle of love, you'll see how much easier
00:16:44
it is to let love flow into your
00:16:46
life.
00:16:46
And this does not mean that you won't
00:16:48
crave or wish for a romantic relationship if
00:16:50
you don't have one.
00:16:52
It just won't control your life because your
00:16:54
life will be full and vibrant, colorful, shine,
00:16:58
shine, bling, bling.
00:17:00
You'll have lonely moments, but not a lonely
00:17:03
life.
00:17:04
See the difference?
00:17:06
Romantic connections are really at the bottom of
00:17:08
my relationship tier.
00:17:09
Not because I'm cynical, by the way, but
00:17:11
because no romance will ever work for me
00:17:14
unless it matches the level of commitment, effort,
00:17:17
fulfillment, and wholeness that my closest people already
00:17:20
bring to my life.
00:17:22
And my closest people, regardless of how we
00:17:24
met or what the origin of our connection
00:17:26
was, they have that title because they are
00:17:28
my friends.
00:17:31
Romance is the bonus, not the foundation.
00:17:34
When we're not oohing and aahing and melting
00:17:36
over each other's chemistry, I ask, does this
00:17:39
world feel fuller in your presence?
00:17:42
Do I feel like I can do anything
00:17:44
when I'm with you?
00:17:45
Can I speak my soul without constantly needing
00:17:48
to translate?
00:17:49
I feel like that with my sister.
00:17:52
If a romantic connection can't meet me there,
00:17:54
I don't want it.
00:17:55
I don't want it.
00:17:56
And a lot of us need to remember,
00:18:00
friendship is not the plus, it's the foundation.
00:18:03
If you build on the wrong thing, the
00:18:05
structure will always crumble.
00:18:09
Also, friendship lies on a spectrum.
00:18:12
I've talked about the friendship scale in this
00:18:14
video here.
00:18:15
There are different types of friends for different
00:18:17
parts of your soul, different parts of you.
00:18:19
Stop waiting for one person to be everything
00:18:22
to you when different people could be something
00:18:24
specific to you.
00:18:25
That's how you build a rich and emotionally
00:18:28
resourced life.
00:18:30
You'll be a healthier person when your needs
00:18:32
are met in a distributed way through various
00:18:35
people in many ways and in many forms.
00:18:38
My bestie is a lot of things to
00:18:39
me, but she's not everything.
00:18:40
No one is everything to me.
00:18:42
I am everything to myself.
00:18:43
I try to be anyway.
00:18:45
There are people in my life who don't
00:18:46
know my deepest thoughts or my everyday life,
00:18:48
but I love them and I trust them
00:18:50
for the very specific places where they shine.
00:18:53
They might be the first people I call
00:18:54
when I need a creative vision partner, the
00:18:57
first ones I text when something aligned with
00:18:59
their gifts show up.
00:19:01
There are people who I haven't spoken to
00:19:03
or seen even since my teens, but I
00:19:06
promise you if I saw them today, we'll
00:19:08
carry on as if time doesn't exist because
00:19:10
of our history.
00:19:11
I have friends who I catch up with
00:19:13
every few months and they like it like
00:19:14
that.
00:19:15
I don't want more time.
00:19:16
No, the love is real and it works
00:19:18
that way for us.
00:19:20
Then there are people like my sister and
00:19:21
my best friend who I speak with at
00:19:23
least once a week and when I don't,
00:19:24
I can feel it, but that's work.
00:19:26
That's healing and a lot of years that
00:19:29
brought us there.
00:19:30
Find a dancing friend or acquaintance who you
00:19:33
attend classes with.
00:19:35
If that's your thing, they don't have to
00:19:36
know your deepest darkest heart desires, but when
00:19:39
it's time to boogie, you know who to
00:19:40
call.
00:19:41
And by the way, I'm also taking my
00:19:42
own advice.
00:19:43
I'm someone who would prefer to only hang
00:19:45
around people who know the depths of me.
00:19:47
You know, I'm a very deep person, but
00:19:50
honestly, it's getting old.
00:19:52
I'm at a point in my life where
00:19:54
I am so happy, so happy.
00:19:57
Some people have no clue.
00:19:59
Not everyone should have access to that part
00:20:00
of me.
00:20:02
So I am open to allowing not so
00:20:04
deep pockets of friendship to happen.
00:20:07
These people might grow into more or maybe
00:20:09
they won't and that's okay.
00:20:11
No one should be everything to another.
00:20:13
Think of parents who bury themselves in their
00:20:16
children or people who can't live without their
00:20:18
partners.
00:20:19
Someone is always suffering in that dynamic even
00:20:22
if the other isn't aware.
00:20:23
Something is always suffering.
00:20:25
Let people be who they are.
00:20:27
Let love live where it actually thrives.
00:20:31
Be open.
00:20:32
That way, when something doesn't work out, you'll
00:20:35
still have a village.
00:20:36
You won't be so afraid to leave what's
00:20:38
bad.
00:20:39
You won't stay where you're dying just to
00:20:41
avoid being alone or because you don't have
00:20:42
other people.
00:20:43
Romantic love is lovely, but it's not everything
00:20:46
and it shouldn't be.
00:20:47
We are wired for community.
00:20:49
Real, expansive, healing love is everywhere, but you
00:20:53
have to open your eyes to see it.
00:20:56
You'll only find it if you stop waiting
00:20:58
for it to come wrapped in one person's
00:21:01
body.
00:21:01
If you keep the qualities and the meaning
00:21:04
of love whole, it won't matter who, whether
00:21:06
family, friends, romantic connections or community, you'll be
00:21:10
able to recognize it, receive it and reciprocate
00:21:13
it.
00:21:14
You must be reciprocal.
00:21:16
If you stop leading with heal me, choose
00:21:19
me, save me, please.
00:21:21
That lens distorts everything and pushes people away.
00:21:26
You are the one.
00:21:29
You're only constant.
00:21:31
Whether you believe it or not, this isn't
00:21:32
even about a mindset shift or change your
00:21:34
mind.
00:21:35
No, it's just reality.
00:21:37
So you can either accept it and figure
00:21:39
out how to get to know and love
00:21:41
yourself.
00:21:41
I have videos on where you can begin
00:21:43
or you can keep ignoring it, chasing the
00:21:46
fantasy, breaking your own heart.
00:21:49
And before someone comes here to type me
00:21:50
a paragraph about how their one great love
00:21:52
came and saved them, good for you.
00:21:54
But I don't entertain exceptions as rules.
00:21:58
I prioritize patterns.
00:21:59
They tell the truth.
00:22:00
And are you really saved?
00:22:02
Are you really free if the answer to
00:22:04
your existence lies in another body?
00:22:08
It sounds like you just extended your chains
00:22:10
and now both you and they are prisoners.
00:22:13
Love can help you heal.
00:22:16
Yes, but only the kind that is built
00:22:19
on something that is also pursuing wholeness.
00:22:23
When people say true love isn't real, I
00:22:26
am absolutely baffled.
00:22:30
My friendships are real.
00:22:32
The love I share with my siblings, that's
00:22:35
real.
00:22:36
The love I've cultivated within myself is undeniable,
00:22:40
palpable even.
00:22:42
And this is so interesting to me because
00:22:44
my sisters, my best friend and some of
00:22:46
the people who have been in my life
00:22:48
for a while now, they've seen me go
00:22:50
and grow through it.
00:22:52
They have been there for the journey and
00:22:54
I've done the same for them.
00:22:56
It seems weird to me to wait for
00:22:59
a futuristic person to give them the title
00:23:01
of the love of my life.
00:23:03
It just doesn't sit right with me.
00:23:05
I am one of the greatest loves of
00:23:07
my life and so are my best friend
00:23:09
and my sister.
00:23:10
Anyone else who makes it to that list
00:23:12
will be one of and not the love.
00:23:16
I am aware of the loves that already
00:23:18
surround me and they deserve their flowers.
00:23:23
But I guess if by true love you
00:23:26
mean romantic fantasy and endless fireworks, maybe that's
00:23:30
not real.
00:23:31
I don't know.
00:23:32
That's fair.
00:23:34
But the realest thing I've ever known is
00:23:37
friendship in its truest, most grounded, most sacred
00:23:43
form.
00:23:49
As always, it's been an absolute pleasure.
00:23:53
My name is Pearl Girl and I'll see
00:23:57
you in the next video.
