Divorce, People Pleasing, Heartbreak, Happiness and Weight Loss Surgery

00:35:16
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrNKZiE-8vI

Résumé

TLDREmily shares a heartfelt narrative of her life's journey, detailing her childhood longing for affirmation, a pivotal moment in middle school that damaged her self-esteem, and the impact of her relationships on her life. She discusses growing up with a lack of affirmation, her pursuit of acceptance and love, and pivotal incidents that shaped her outlook on life. Emily's narrative spans her becoming a mother, confronting an unhappy marriage, and enduring a challenging divorce. Throughout her story, Emily reveals how she has overcome weight struggles and developed self-worth, aided by her strong faith and therapy. This journey led her to embrace self-love, focus on her career, and start a YouTube channel to share her experiences and help others going through similar struggles. Emily emphasizes learning from painful experiences, finding redemption and strength through them, and recognizing her intrinsic value.

A retenir

  • 🎙️ Inspired by a podcast, Emily shares her story.
  • 🙏 Struggles for parental affirmation shaped her childhood.
  • 💔 An insult in middle school deeply affected her self-esteem.
  • 👶 Became a mother at 23, confronting relationship challenges.
  • 😓 Endured a tumultuous marriage and difficult divorce.
  • ⚖️ Found strength through faith and Joyce Meyer's teachings.
  • 🌟 Learned to value herself and focus on personal growth.
  • 📹 Started a YouTube channel to help others with similar struggles.
  • 🏠 Overcoming financial difficulties to achieve stability.
  • 💪 Prioritizes career and children, embracing life changes.

Chronologie

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Emily introduces herself and initiates a personal story inspired by a podcast about how one’s story and pain can be gifts. Reflecting on her childhood, she mentions striving for affirmation, having a normal childhood with activities, and an impactful experience of being called a 'fat pig' that affected her self-image and relationships, leading to a complex romantic relationship with her boss.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Emily shares about getting pregnant unexpectedly, emotionally grappling with the situation because her relationship was undefined and lacked reciprocated love. After confiding in him, she observed his unexpected happiness about the baby, which led them to date and eventually marry after family pressure. Despite outwardly achieving desired milestones—buying a house and having a family—Emily finds herself in a relationship lacking genuine connection and spontaneous joy.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Emily discusses early marriage difficulties, emphasising her husband’s long work hours, leading to her feeling like a single parent. She elaborates on misaligned expectations regarding time together and hints at his infidelity. A significant event was when they temporarily separated, during which family support was essential, revealing deeper issues when they attempted reconciliation.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The marriage continues to deteriorate, with Emily’s husband showing emotional detachment and confining their efforts to save the relationship to a short timeframe. Despite trying to adhere to her marriage vows, Emily ultimately finds relief in his departure, although it was a painful transition that severely impacted her self-perception and life stability.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Post-divorce, Emily faces financial hardship, returning to work to sustain herself and her children, amidst fluctuating job and living situations. Family and community offer critical support, and Emily slowly rebuilds her life, gaining a stable job position. She reflects on the arduous journey to financial independence and the small emotional victories that encourage her resilience.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    Emily explores new romantic interests post-divorce, learning through trial and error what healthy relationships entail. Therapy helps remediate deep-seated self-worth issues, alongside physical transformation after weight loss surgery. Through personal growth, Emily discovers and rejects unhealthy patterns, learning to value herself beyond external validations or relationships.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:16

    Achieving personal and professional milestones, Emily finds strength and purpose in sharing her journey through YouTube. By acknowledging her intrinsic worth and addressing past issues, she establishes a meaningful connection with her audience, offering comfort and reinforcing personal truths discovered through adversity. Her narrative ends on a hopeful note, emphasizing self-love and gratitude.

Afficher plus

Carte mentale

Mind Map

Questions fréquemment posées

  • What inspired Emily to share her story?

    Emily was inspired by Chalene Johnson's podcast that discussed personal stories as gifts.

  • What was Emily's childhood like?

    Emily had a childhood where she didn't receive much affirmation from her parents and always felt like she needed to please others.

  • How did the sixth grade incident affect Emily?

    Being called a 'fat pig' in sixth grade left a lasting impact on Emily, affecting her self-esteem.

  • When did Emily have her daughter?

    Emily got pregnant with her daughter when she was 23 years old.

  • How did Emily feel about her first marriage?

    Emily felt unhappy and stuck in her first marriage, sensing it was not what she deserved.

  • How did Emily cope with her divorce?

    Emily turned to faith and the teachings of Joyce Meyer to help her through her divorce.

  • What changes did Emily make after her divorce?

    Emily changed her eating habits, lost weight, and shifted her focus to self-love and personal growth.

  • Why did Emily start a YouTube channel?

    She started a YouTube channel to help others, inspired by videos that helped her during heartbreak.

  • What personal realization has Emily come to?

    Emily realized she has intrinsic value and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.

  • What are Emily's current life priorities?

    Her priorities include focusing on work, her children, and personal growth, rather than dating.

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Sous-titres
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Défilement automatique:
  • 00:00:00
    hi guys
  • 00:00:01
    it's Emily and welcome to my channel if
  • 00:00:04
    you've never watched one of my videos
  • 00:00:06
    before I wanted to pick a comfy spot
  • 00:00:08
    tonight because I wanted to talk to you
  • 00:00:11
    guys just about my story and this was
  • 00:00:15
    inspired by a podcast I was listening to
  • 00:00:18
    by chalene Johnson the other day I told
  • 00:00:20
    you guys I was into her podcast lately
  • 00:00:22
    and she talked about your story being
  • 00:00:25
    your gift and your pain being your gift
  • 00:00:28
    and it kind of hit a nerve with me and I
  • 00:00:31
    have always been a sharer and I have
  • 00:00:34
    been willing to share my uh ups and
  • 00:00:38
    downs with people I'm going to try to do
  • 00:00:41
    this in one take I'm gonna try not to
  • 00:00:43
    re-record anything and I didn't take any
  • 00:00:46
    notes I felt like it was very important
  • 00:00:48
    to me to just kind of come at this from
  • 00:00:50
    a really like organic perspective and
  • 00:00:52
    just share with you from my heart I have
  • 00:00:55
    two younger brothers and grew up at home
  • 00:00:57
    with my mom and dad and we lived mostly
  • 00:01:00
    kind of out in the country in a small
  • 00:01:02
    town
  • 00:01:03
    near where I live now and I you know
  • 00:01:07
    went to a small school we lived about
  • 00:01:09
    for the most of my life we lived like
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    seven or eight miles out of school
  • 00:01:13
    um our house was
  • 00:01:16
    a little bit hard you know looking like
  • 00:01:19
    I always thought that we lived in a like
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    normal home uh
  • 00:01:23
    looking back I think there was a lot of
  • 00:01:26
    stuff that I
  • 00:01:29
    I don't know how to put it but kind of
  • 00:01:32
    glossed over a little bit so it was
  • 00:01:35
    in my house I feel like something that I
  • 00:01:38
    really really needed from my parents and
  • 00:01:42
    from
  • 00:01:43
    you know just in general in childhood
  • 00:01:46
    was affirmation words of affirmation are
  • 00:01:49
    definitely one of my love languages
  • 00:01:51
    probably like second or third and
  • 00:01:54
    and I don't feel like it's something
  • 00:01:56
    that I got a lot as a kid and I feel
  • 00:01:58
    like I was always striving to
  • 00:02:00
    be a people pleaser and I was always
  • 00:02:03
    striving to
  • 00:02:05
    make people happy around me and I did
  • 00:02:07
    get praise from teachers and aunts and
  • 00:02:09
    uncles and
  • 00:02:11
    from strangers sometimes depending on
  • 00:02:14
    what the situation is like you know like
  • 00:02:16
    for having red hair my brother and I at
  • 00:02:18
    the grocery store people would stop stop
  • 00:02:20
    and talk to my mom and talk about
  • 00:02:22
    uh you know like us having red hair I
  • 00:02:25
    just think that I kind of like started
  • 00:02:27
    off on a foot of like wanting to like
  • 00:02:30
    earn that from my parents and probably
  • 00:02:34
    people in general so as the time went on
  • 00:02:37
    uh I had like a you know otherwise
  • 00:02:40
    normal childhood I got to play sports
  • 00:02:42
    and I participated in things like at
  • 00:02:45
    school I know like in high school I did
  • 00:02:47
    choir and I got to do a lot of
  • 00:02:49
    extracurricular activities uh we went to
  • 00:02:52
    Camp every year summer camp so my
  • 00:02:54
    parents definitely
  • 00:02:56
    provided a lot for us as kids as far as
  • 00:02:59
    opportunities if you have seen my weight
  • 00:03:01
    loss surgery story you've heard the
  • 00:03:03
    story about a boy in the sixth grade
  • 00:03:06
    calling me a fat pig and that kind of
  • 00:03:09
    resonated with me in a time where I
  • 00:03:11
    already felt
  • 00:03:12
    kind of unattractive Middle School it's
  • 00:03:15
    the worst and so I
  • 00:03:19
    really internalized that and from that
  • 00:03:22
    point on I think that was like the
  • 00:03:24
    Turning moment for me as far as I felt
  • 00:03:27
    like every guy thought that I was fat
  • 00:03:30
    and so I never thought any guy would
  • 00:03:32
    ever think that I was attractive
  • 00:03:34
    and looking back I was a cute kid you
  • 00:03:36
    know I
  • 00:03:38
    was not the heaviest of you know I
  • 00:03:40
    wasn't that heavy I was overweight
  • 00:03:43
    probably for you know my age but by no
  • 00:03:48
    means like you know anything crazy so I
  • 00:03:53
    never really dated in high school I fell
  • 00:03:56
    for my boss at work when I was like a
  • 00:03:59
    senior in high school and I was like
  • 00:04:01
    madly in love with him and we would like
  • 00:04:04
    hang out and like I started getting
  • 00:04:07
    introduced to his friends and we would
  • 00:04:08
    go over and my girlfriends and I would
  • 00:04:10
    go over and hang out at his friend's
  • 00:04:11
    townhouse because they were older and it
  • 00:04:14
    was fun over there
  • 00:04:16
    and I was just like head over heels and
  • 00:04:18
    he ended up like going back to his
  • 00:04:20
    girlfriend at one point and we would
  • 00:04:22
    reconnect later on and then he would go
  • 00:04:25
    and date another girl and we never
  • 00:04:28
    really got very romantic or anything
  • 00:04:30
    like that you have to picture like he's
  • 00:04:33
    one of the first guys that I really felt
  • 00:04:34
    like
  • 00:04:35
    actually liked me and was interested in
  • 00:04:38
    me so once that happened that I that I
  • 00:04:42
    had gotten that I felt like I didn't
  • 00:04:44
    want to let it go and I so I was just
  • 00:04:48
    like
  • 00:04:49
    very much felt like I was in love with
  • 00:04:51
    him and you know I would even like try
  • 00:04:55
    to be where he was going to be later on
  • 00:04:57
    after doing this on and off I ended up
  • 00:05:00
    getting pregnant with my daughter when I
  • 00:05:03
    was like 23 years old I was really
  • 00:05:05
    scared at the time and there was a time
  • 00:05:07
    in my life where I would have been
  • 00:05:09
    thrilled by that because I was so in
  • 00:05:10
    love with him that I would have felt
  • 00:05:12
    like that attached me to him and that
  • 00:05:16
    you know I like he like was stuck with
  • 00:05:20
    me basically but instead because because
  • 00:05:25
    I am a smart girl and deep down even
  • 00:05:28
    when I'm trying to like
  • 00:05:30
    be into something or want something I
  • 00:05:33
    know deep down in my heart like if it's
  • 00:05:35
    not right it's not right so when I got
  • 00:05:37
    pregnant
  • 00:05:38
    with my daughter we weren't even dating
  • 00:05:40
    we were not in an official relationship
  • 00:05:43
    actually the night that
  • 00:05:45
    um it happened I
  • 00:05:48
    was trying to leave that situation and I
  • 00:05:51
    finally had gotten the courage to just
  • 00:05:52
    say you know I'm in love with you and
  • 00:05:55
    I can't continue on this way because you
  • 00:05:58
    don't reciprocate that and so it could
  • 00:06:00
    because I would always just be hanging
  • 00:06:02
    out at his house and it was like we were
  • 00:06:04
    friends and sometimes we would like do
  • 00:06:07
    romantic things very occasionally but
  • 00:06:10
    you know generally speaking we were
  • 00:06:13
    friends and
  • 00:06:15
    but he wasn't taking me out on dates or
  • 00:06:17
    anything like that and I knew like his
  • 00:06:18
    heart wasn't in in it for for me
  • 00:06:21
    so I just said I you know I am in love
  • 00:06:25
    with you and
  • 00:06:27
    I can't do this anymore it hurts my
  • 00:06:29
    heart too much
  • 00:06:30
    and he said
  • 00:06:33
    then make me fall in love with you that
  • 00:06:35
    was really hard because I knew like I
  • 00:06:38
    couldn't make that happen you can't make
  • 00:06:40
    anyone fall in love with you and if it
  • 00:06:42
    hadn't happened already then it wasn't
  • 00:06:43
    gonna happen huh so I walked away from
  • 00:06:48
    it we talked like a little bit after
  • 00:06:49
    that and then I
  • 00:06:51
    found out that I was pregnant
  • 00:06:53
    so I remember thinking when I got
  • 00:06:56
    pregnant like I was terrified like what
  • 00:06:58
    kind of a dad is he gonna be our friends
  • 00:07:00
    had just had a baby like the weekend
  • 00:07:02
    before this and then I found out I was
  • 00:07:04
    pregnant and I did see that he I could
  • 00:07:07
    tell that he longed for kids and he
  • 00:07:09
    wasn't not sure if he was ever gonna
  • 00:07:10
    have him because he was like 30 at the
  • 00:07:12
    time
  • 00:07:13
    or getting approaching 30 at the time
  • 00:07:16
    and so I I told some friends and then uh
  • 00:07:21
    I went and talked to him about it and he
  • 00:07:23
    got a big smile on his face about this
  • 00:07:25
    pregnancy and so that was nice to like
  • 00:07:27
    have that support and from that point on
  • 00:07:30
    we dated and he did start saying I love
  • 00:07:32
    you uh and I felt like okay I've got
  • 00:07:35
    this life that I wanted I've chased
  • 00:07:37
    after him for so long and I finally got
  • 00:07:39
    what I wanted and we bought a house
  • 00:07:42
    together and then we had my daughter
  • 00:07:45
    and then you know into the relationship
  • 00:07:48
    my parents were putting pressure on me
  • 00:07:51
    and us to get married because I didn't
  • 00:07:53
    like that we were living together before
  • 00:07:55
    we were married and
  • 00:07:57
    uh my dad talked to to my ex and
  • 00:08:01
    basically offered him my
  • 00:08:03
    great-grandmother's ring if he wanted to
  • 00:08:06
    propose and kind of you know talk to him
  • 00:08:09
    about that and so one day I you know
  • 00:08:13
    walked in the living room when he had my
  • 00:08:15
    daughter Lily with him and he had like
  • 00:08:19
    the ring on her like thumb or something
  • 00:08:21
    like that I can't quite remember and
  • 00:08:23
    asked me to marry him but yes of course
  • 00:08:25
    and so we got married when I was 26
  • 00:08:30
    years old and Lily was like a year old
  • 00:08:33
    at that point
  • 00:08:35
    and then we continued on and we wanted
  • 00:08:39
    to have another
  • 00:08:41
    baby and I got pregnant in geez I don't
  • 00:08:46
    know like spring of
  • 00:08:49
    2006 and I was thrilled it took a little
  • 00:08:52
    while and so when it happened I was so
  • 00:08:55
    excited and I remember that his reaction
  • 00:08:57
    we put my cousin lived with us in a room
  • 00:09:00
    at the time
  • 00:09:02
    and we had put a the pregnancy it's a
  • 00:09:06
    positive pregnancy test you know with a
  • 00:09:07
    cap on it in the mailbox and told him
  • 00:09:11
    asked him to go get the mail
  • 00:09:13
    because I hadn't gotten it yet and he
  • 00:09:15
    walked out and he when he came back
  • 00:09:17
    he you know he I think he had a smile
  • 00:09:20
    but he didn't look like super excited to
  • 00:09:22
    be honest with you uh and I just felt
  • 00:09:25
    like it like it wasn't the happy
  • 00:09:27
    momentous occasion that I and you know
  • 00:09:29
    had felt like so
  • 00:09:32
    you know go through my pregnancy gain a
  • 00:09:34
    lot of weight like I got up to like 280
  • 00:09:36
    pounds during that pregnancy and then
  • 00:09:38
    had Dylan and healthy baby boy all I
  • 00:09:42
    could ever want I didn't find out what I
  • 00:09:43
    was having and then so when he came out
  • 00:09:46
    you know I got a boy so I had a girl and
  • 00:09:48
    a boy and it's just like the perfect
  • 00:09:49
    family right
  • 00:09:51
    just like what I've had always wanted
  • 00:09:53
    for my whole life I did not have hopes
  • 00:09:55
    and dreams of a career I wanted to be a
  • 00:09:58
    mom and I think a lot of that has to do
  • 00:10:00
    with like where I came from and not
  • 00:10:03
    really like seeing what was out there
  • 00:10:05
    like as far as like having a career or
  • 00:10:07
    getting pushed into that direction you
  • 00:10:10
    know it's a combination of things but
  • 00:10:13
    so I had my family and I was super
  • 00:10:15
    excited and I was taking care of this
  • 00:10:16
    home you know I was overweight
  • 00:10:18
    and talking to my husband at the time
  • 00:10:21
    about losing weight and he said
  • 00:10:23
    something like if you lose 50 pounds
  • 00:10:26
    then we can go to Vegas again because we
  • 00:10:28
    had been to Vegas like once or twice and
  • 00:10:31
    and I wanted to lose weight anyway so I
  • 00:10:34
    stopped breastfeeding my son at eight
  • 00:10:36
    months to this day a decision I do
  • 00:10:38
    regret because I wanted to go on this
  • 00:10:40
    liquid diet and it was
  • 00:10:42
    um you'd lose weight so quickly that
  • 00:10:45
    there can be toxins that get into the
  • 00:10:47
    baby system and it's just not healthy to
  • 00:10:49
    breastfeed at that point so I made the
  • 00:10:52
    decision to stop breastfeeding at eight
  • 00:10:54
    months and did this die and I lost like
  • 00:10:55
    30 pounds
  • 00:10:57
    you know eventually ended up gaining it
  • 00:10:59
    back of course because it's a liquid
  • 00:11:00
    diet it's not sustainable so in 2000 and
  • 00:11:03
    eight Dylan was a little over like he
  • 00:11:07
    was 15 15 months older so Lily was
  • 00:11:09
    turning four about to turn four and crit
  • 00:11:14
    uh and there and my husband at the time
  • 00:11:17
    their restaurant that they worked in
  • 00:11:19
    closed and that was a really hard time
  • 00:11:21
    he went through a really difficult
  • 00:11:25
    thing during that being jobless because
  • 00:11:28
    work was always what he put
  • 00:11:30
    everything into uh he worked like 65
  • 00:11:33
    hours I was pretty much a single mom
  • 00:11:35
    because when he was home which wasn't on
  • 00:11:37
    the weekends it was just random days off
  • 00:11:39
    then he would want to do yard work he
  • 00:11:41
    didn't
  • 00:11:43
    really want to do like a family day
  • 00:11:46
    I in my head you know our communication
  • 00:11:48
    wasn't great in my head I was like oh
  • 00:11:50
    you're gonna have a day off and we get
  • 00:11:53
    to spend time together and in his mind
  • 00:11:54
    it was I'm gonna do all these things
  • 00:11:56
    around the house and we would try to
  • 00:11:58
    plan date nights and it always ended up
  • 00:12:00
    in a fight because it just didn't feel
  • 00:12:01
    like he wanted to be there we went on up
  • 00:12:03
    north on a vacation
  • 00:12:05
    um like a little Resort for like three
  • 00:12:06
    nights I got a deal because I was
  • 00:12:08
    working from home after Dylan was born I
  • 00:12:12
    ended up staying home and I found some
  • 00:12:13
    ways to make income at home through I
  • 00:12:16
    was doing timeshare exchanges on a call
  • 00:12:19
    line uh that was out of my home office
  • 00:12:22
    and so I got a deal on this Resort uh up
  • 00:12:26
    north in Michigan it was in December and
  • 00:12:28
    we went up there and we got in like a
  • 00:12:30
    horrendous fight
  • 00:12:32
    and
  • 00:12:33
    I just felt like things were not it just
  • 00:12:36
    felt like my marriage was kind of coming
  • 00:12:37
    to an end it felt strange but then it
  • 00:12:40
    felt like time would go by and maybe it
  • 00:12:42
    would be okay again I knew I wasn't
  • 00:12:44
    happy but I also knew I was going to
  • 00:12:45
    stay in my marriage because those were
  • 00:12:47
    my wedding vows and that is what I I
  • 00:12:49
    said that I would do and so it was very
  • 00:12:52
    important to me to to continue to try to
  • 00:12:55
    stay in that marriage and so
  • 00:13:00
    things weren't going well it didn't feel
  • 00:13:02
    like he wanted to be around me at all
  • 00:13:03
    and then he loses this job
  • 00:13:05
    and I noticed
  • 00:13:08
    um some interesting communication on the
  • 00:13:10
    computer and
  • 00:13:12
    I'm not going to go into much of that
  • 00:13:14
    because my kids do watch my videos a lot
  • 00:13:18
    of times so I want to be a little bit
  • 00:13:20
    private about that but I found some
  • 00:13:22
    Communications on the computer and
  • 00:13:25
    um started realizing just like there
  • 00:13:28
    might be something some things going on
  • 00:13:30
    that I hadn't been aware of previously
  • 00:13:32
    and at one point we got in a fight I was
  • 00:13:35
    like Easter Sunday I won't ever forget
  • 00:13:36
    we were in church I think we fought
  • 00:13:38
    before church and we went to church and
  • 00:13:41
    uh I said do you need a couple days to
  • 00:13:43
    like regroup and he took me up on that
  • 00:13:46
    like almost instantaneously and I
  • 00:13:49
    regretted that almost instantaneously he
  • 00:13:52
    went away for a couple days like I
  • 00:13:54
    didn't know when he was gonna come home
  • 00:13:55
    I was a wrecks and I remember
  • 00:13:58
    um
  • 00:14:00
    I remember calling my brother and
  • 00:14:03
    telling him that
  • 00:14:05
    he had left
  • 00:14:07
    and I'm sure my brother must have heard
  • 00:14:09
    how sad I was in my voice and him and my
  • 00:14:12
    sister-in-law were in the car and they
  • 00:14:13
    lived across the state in Ann Arbor
  • 00:14:16
    um which is about two hours from here
  • 00:14:18
    and they said we're on our way we are
  • 00:14:21
    already in the car and we're just gonna
  • 00:14:23
    drive straight there
  • 00:14:25
    still one of them um
  • 00:14:29
    most loving things that anyone's ever
  • 00:14:31
    done for me if like if you will just
  • 00:14:33
    drop what you're doing to just come help
  • 00:14:35
    me because I don't ask for help a lot
  • 00:14:37
    and I didn't even know that's what I
  • 00:14:39
    needed but they did so they dropped what
  • 00:14:42
    they were doing and they came and they
  • 00:14:44
    stayed with me the whole two days that
  • 00:14:46
    he was gone and it was horrible my
  • 00:14:48
    parents came over and prayed and
  • 00:14:50
    when my husband came back
  • 00:14:54
    we sat down on the bed I remember to
  • 00:14:56
    this day I just felt like there was
  • 00:14:58
    nothing left in his eyes and there was
  • 00:15:00
    it was just like cold and empty back
  • 00:15:02
    there if honestly I felt like I was
  • 00:15:04
    looking into his eyes and seeing like a
  • 00:15:06
    demonic presence just not to sound like
  • 00:15:09
    a crazy person
  • 00:15:10
    but there's just like nothing looking
  • 00:15:12
    back at me and he was like I'm gonna
  • 00:15:15
    give this three weeks and then
  • 00:15:18
    if we can't work it out then I'm gonna
  • 00:15:20
    leave and I was like oh okay
  • 00:15:24
    um you know should we try to do
  • 00:15:26
    counseling like what there was nothing
  • 00:15:28
    it was just like I'm going to try to do
  • 00:15:29
    this for three weeks and then he ended
  • 00:15:31
    up just he went and I think he slept in
  • 00:15:34
    our bed for a couple nights and then
  • 00:15:35
    after that he went and slept on the
  • 00:15:36
    couch and just looked at me like he
  • 00:15:39
    hated my guts the whole time ah that
  • 00:15:41
    that three weeks went by and to be
  • 00:15:43
    honest with you as sad as it was the
  • 00:15:46
    night that he sat me down and he said I
  • 00:15:49
    don't want to be with you anymore
  • 00:15:51
    it was sad as that was part of me was
  • 00:15:54
    relieved to have him gone because it was
  • 00:15:56
    such a tumultuous time in my life and it
  • 00:15:59
    was so hard and so sad and just like
  • 00:16:01
    heart-wrenching and just felt I just
  • 00:16:03
    felt like terrible
  • 00:16:05
    um but you know I had I married him I
  • 00:16:08
    remember marrying him and walking down
  • 00:16:10
    the aisle and just saying my vows like
  • 00:16:12
    just calm and find like there were lines
  • 00:16:15
    from a script because I wasn't confident
  • 00:16:19
    in that I was accepting a love that I
  • 00:16:21
    thought I deserved and it wasn't what I
  • 00:16:24
    deserved because I deserved to be
  • 00:16:27
    treated with kindness and respect and
  • 00:16:29
    that I had thoughts and opinions that
  • 00:16:31
    were valid whether they were the same as
  • 00:16:34
    you know my partners or not and I wasn't
  • 00:16:37
    and I accepted that and I married in
  • 00:16:39
    that and because I felt like I was stuck
  • 00:16:42
    and and I felt like that's all I
  • 00:16:44
    deserved it was somebody that wanted me
  • 00:16:46
    like no one wanted me but there was a
  • 00:16:49
    man that wanted me and so I was gonna
  • 00:16:50
    accept that so
  • 00:16:53
    so he left he moved out he came and got
  • 00:16:57
    his stuff one day I you know that was
  • 00:16:59
    one of the hardest moments of my life to
  • 00:17:01
    watch him move this his stuff out of our
  • 00:17:03
    home that we had built together that we
  • 00:17:06
    had bought and we had redone the kitchen
  • 00:17:07
    and um you know our children lived there
  • 00:17:11
    and he kind of
  • 00:17:14
    you know was sporadic about seeing them
  • 00:17:17
    for a little bit and then that things
  • 00:17:18
    got better and he did
  • 00:17:20
    um started doing a better job as a dad
  • 00:17:22
    and now he does a great job we have a
  • 00:17:26
    good communication between us but that
  • 00:17:29
    time in my life was the darkest saddest
  • 00:17:31
    time that I could you know I've ever
  • 00:17:34
    experienced it was terrible and it was
  • 00:17:38
    you know God and Joyce Meyer got me
  • 00:17:41
    through that and
  • 00:17:42
    I had her on play on you know constantly
  • 00:17:46
    continuously
  • 00:17:48
    um it saved me because it was it was so
  • 00:17:51
    so so hard I didn't turn duo with a
  • 00:17:53
    bottle I didn't you know do crazy things
  • 00:17:55
    I did probably turn to food I got up to
  • 00:17:57
    290 Pounds at one point after that
  • 00:18:02
    um he came you know it was I think it
  • 00:18:04
    was about a year later after we
  • 00:18:05
    separated and he wanted to sell the
  • 00:18:07
    house and that was that was another hard
  • 00:18:09
    thing like he's like well Realtors just
  • 00:18:11
    gonna come over and talk to us about him
  • 00:18:13
    by the end of the night I was signing
  • 00:18:14
    papers to sell my home and it was just
  • 00:18:16
    so hard because I had been a
  • 00:18:18
    stay-at-home mom and suddenly I had to
  • 00:18:20
    go back to work and like I had to do
  • 00:18:23
    that real quick because he when he left
  • 00:18:25
    he took like he didn't pay for anything
  • 00:18:27
    he what he did was he paid our house
  • 00:18:29
    payment because it was in his name only
  • 00:18:31
    because we weren't married before
  • 00:18:34
    um when we bought the house and so I
  • 00:18:37
    didn't have any money for anything so I
  • 00:18:38
    immediately
  • 00:18:40
    um I had that little bit of income which
  • 00:18:41
    was like maybe three to four hundred
  • 00:18:43
    dollars a month from the timeshare and
  • 00:18:46
    the customer service calls that I would
  • 00:18:48
    take and that was it and I was in a
  • 00:18:50
    mom's group um with a church that's
  • 00:18:53
    local here and I remember them they were
  • 00:18:54
    sending me like 300 gift cards to the
  • 00:18:57
    grocery store and um you know just all
  • 00:19:00
    these different things to just like
  • 00:19:03
    supportive they they reached out so much
  • 00:19:05
    so many people my aunt Pat you know just
  • 00:19:07
    like handed me fifty dollars one day and
  • 00:19:10
    then even
  • 00:19:11
    um my ex-husband who was pretty bitter
  • 00:19:14
    at this point toward me and like acted
  • 00:19:17
    kind of like he hated me whenever he
  • 00:19:19
    would see me at one point he even like
  • 00:19:21
    slipped me in a little bit of money
  • 00:19:22
    which was like a rare thing
  • 00:19:25
    um and it was before child support had
  • 00:19:26
    kicked in I struggled and I had to go
  • 00:19:28
    back to work full time after being you
  • 00:19:31
    know home with these babies you know for
  • 00:19:33
    the past couple years it was very hard
  • 00:19:35
    but I did it and uh I you know got I got
  • 00:19:39
    a job and then it was not a good fit for
  • 00:19:42
    me the boss was just not it was not a
  • 00:19:44
    good fit and I had applied for my where
  • 00:19:47
    the company really work for during that
  • 00:19:50
    time and I ended up getting this job and
  • 00:19:52
    uh
  • 00:19:54
    um I've been with my company now for
  • 00:19:55
    eight years eight and a half years
  • 00:19:57
    which has been fantastic
  • 00:19:59
    and I've always worked in the healthcare
  • 00:20:02
    medical field
  • 00:20:04
    pretty much so that's where my
  • 00:20:06
    background is medical billing and coding
  • 00:20:08
    and
  • 00:20:09
    um so that's you know my bread and
  • 00:20:11
    butter and what I do on the full on a
  • 00:20:12
    full-time basis now uh so yeah I got
  • 00:20:16
    through that divorce and it hurt so much
  • 00:20:18
    and I got really heavy and uh I started
  • 00:20:22
    I've talked about this a little bit a
  • 00:20:24
    girlfriend and I uh shortly after my
  • 00:20:27
    divorce we it took about two years to
  • 00:20:28
    get divorced um because I was very
  • 00:20:30
    adamant about not filing because I felt
  • 00:20:33
    like it was my duty to stay in that
  • 00:20:34
    marriage if you know that their
  • 00:20:37
    responsibility was on him to file if you
  • 00:20:40
    know that was what he wanted and
  • 00:20:41
    eventually he did and we worked it out
  • 00:20:43
    and as far as like finances and custody
  • 00:20:47
    and things like that
  • 00:20:49
    and then
  • 00:20:50
    so yeah during that time I gained a ton
  • 00:20:53
    of weight back and you know got up to
  • 00:20:56
    290 Pounds
  • 00:20:58
    um I had opened a cupcake shop with my
  • 00:21:00
    girlfriend which was a night it was a
  • 00:21:02
    cool experience like I feel like I was
  • 00:21:04
    very sick at the time I think I had a
  • 00:21:06
    lot of gluten intolerance issues and I
  • 00:21:08
    just wasn't feeling well a lot of the
  • 00:21:09
    time and was being heavy and I was
  • 00:21:12
    working full-time and I was doing this
  • 00:21:13
    shop like for another 30 hours a week on
  • 00:21:17
    top of it I was making cakes
  • 00:21:19
    um decorative cakes like like
  • 00:21:22
    extravagant cakes at the same time which
  • 00:21:24
    I love doing but I was just very
  • 00:21:25
    stressful time in my life and I didn't
  • 00:21:27
    feel that well most of the time so
  • 00:21:29
    that's not the best memory but I like
  • 00:21:31
    I'm very appreciative of the experience
  • 00:21:33
    of you know
  • 00:21:35
    um the cupcake shop and having a
  • 00:21:38
    business and so on and so forth but then
  • 00:21:41
    I went back and just was like working
  • 00:21:43
    again and
  • 00:21:45
    I
  • 00:21:46
    I ended up qualifying for my surgery you
  • 00:21:49
    can watch that whole story in the in the
  • 00:21:51
    weight loss surgery Story video which is
  • 00:21:53
    actually below but I had surgery and
  • 00:21:57
    lost a decent amount of weight like 90
  • 00:22:00
    pounds like within 10 months and kind of
  • 00:22:03
    sat there for a little bit and then I
  • 00:22:04
    started dating and I dated a guy for a
  • 00:22:09
    little bit like a couple months and we
  • 00:22:12
    he broke it off with me
  • 00:22:14
    we broke up he talked about that he was
  • 00:22:18
    a pathological liar or something and I
  • 00:22:20
    was like what is going on like what is
  • 00:22:22
    even happening in my life right now and
  • 00:22:24
    then uh you know I continuously dated
  • 00:22:28
    after that I've been on more dates than
  • 00:22:30
    you even want to know and ended up
  • 00:22:34
    um
  • 00:22:35
    let's see
  • 00:22:36
    so you know during that time not much
  • 00:22:39
    was happening not much was different I
  • 00:22:41
    was still working and just kind of
  • 00:22:44
    living life and enjoying myself and then
  • 00:22:49
    one night
  • 00:22:50
    um through some mutual friends I met my
  • 00:22:53
    ex-boyfriend he just wasn't my type like
  • 00:22:55
    the type of guy that I normally go for
  • 00:22:57
    and I felt like I wasn't the type of
  • 00:22:59
    girl that he would go for just based on
  • 00:23:01
    his looks
  • 00:23:02
    um very muscular very very built kind of
  • 00:23:06
    guy very I was very attracted to him but
  • 00:23:09
    I just didn't feel like it was like the
  • 00:23:11
    right match so I didn't really notice
  • 00:23:12
    him the night that we met until the end
  • 00:23:15
    and then we ended up dancing together
  • 00:23:16
    and we ended up just having we did have
  • 00:23:20
    a lot of chemistry I I still remember
  • 00:23:22
    him I think I asked him for his phone
  • 00:23:27
    number because I had earlier in the
  • 00:23:29
    night heard this story that one of the
  • 00:23:32
    girls was telling that she had asked her
  • 00:23:34
    current boyfriend for his phone number
  • 00:23:35
    and I was like well if she can do it I
  • 00:23:37
    can do it and I had danced with this guy
  • 00:23:40
    and I was like I'm gonna ask him first
  • 00:23:42
    one of her so I did and I remember him
  • 00:23:44
    taking my phone and typing it in and
  • 00:23:46
    texting
  • 00:23:48
    himself what's up and I just thought I
  • 00:23:51
    was like the funniest thing so that was
  • 00:23:53
    that was like the start of it and it
  • 00:23:56
    made me laugh
  • 00:23:57
    and I was kind of cautious about it at
  • 00:23:59
    first and
  • 00:24:01
    um I like wanted my space still and he'd
  • 00:24:04
    be like well can I come see you like
  • 00:24:06
    when I'm going through uh you know
  • 00:24:08
    coming home from work because I was on
  • 00:24:10
    his way home from work and and I'll be
  • 00:24:12
    like well I'm still working or I'm busy
  • 00:24:14
    but you can come for a little bit I was
  • 00:24:16
    like okay I know you know trying to give
  • 00:24:18
    me my space but also like wanted to see
  • 00:24:21
    me all the time which I wasn't used to I
  • 00:24:23
    was still in a place where I was
  • 00:24:24
    enjoying like my friends and stuff like
  • 00:24:26
    that but we did also hit off like really
  • 00:24:29
    hot and heavy in the beginning but at
  • 00:24:31
    the same time I was trying to like keep
  • 00:24:33
    my space because I did like my life
  • 00:24:36
    and
  • 00:24:38
    So eventually he wore me down and we did
  • 00:24:44
    have like kind of like a hot and heavy
  • 00:24:46
    relationship and it got to the point
  • 00:24:48
    where
  • 00:24:50
    um he was talking about marriage and he
  • 00:24:52
    was talking about
  • 00:24:54
    um like possibly having children with me
  • 00:24:56
    one day and where we would live and
  • 00:24:58
    wanting to live on a lake and that that
  • 00:25:01
    was important to him and wanting these
  • 00:25:04
    things that I wanted and he doted on me
  • 00:25:08
    and not in an overboard way but like in
  • 00:25:11
    a distilled it on me in a way that I
  • 00:25:13
    hadn't been doted on before I felt like
  • 00:25:15
    he
  • 00:25:16
    was very attracted to me I felt like he
  • 00:25:19
    liked my personality very much and vice
  • 00:25:22
    versa he was very funny he you know made
  • 00:25:26
    me laugh a lot and I loved spending time
  • 00:25:27
    with him and he would do handyman things
  • 00:25:29
    around my house and we would do projects
  • 00:25:31
    together we worked on like refinishing
  • 00:25:34
    Furniture together we would we like to
  • 00:25:37
    listen to the same music he liked the
  • 00:25:39
    same kind of food as us we would love to
  • 00:25:40
    go get sushi we just enjoyed each
  • 00:25:43
    other's company a lot and
  • 00:25:46
    we dated for a few months and and all
  • 00:25:50
    the time you know he's talking about
  • 00:25:51
    getting married I know like part of me
  • 00:25:54
    was happy and excited to think that
  • 00:25:56
    someone would want to do that but there
  • 00:25:58
    are other there was another part of me
  • 00:25:59
    that couldn't picture that and I
  • 00:26:01
    couldn't see how that looked and that's
  • 00:26:05
    probably kind of weird like the person
  • 00:26:07
    that you're supposed to marry you should
  • 00:26:08
    like be able to to see or Envision being
  • 00:26:11
    married to them and I couldn't do that
  • 00:26:13
    like I didn't consciously realize that
  • 00:26:15
    at the time but later on I thought I
  • 00:26:16
    could never like envision myself
  • 00:26:18
    marrying him I felt like I like wanted
  • 00:26:21
    to kind of but so we ended up breaking
  • 00:26:25
    up and it was like he was not in a place
  • 00:26:28
    where he was ready for a relationship
  • 00:26:31
    um not that's not what he said I just
  • 00:26:33
    know that he wasn't I should have known
  • 00:26:35
    it all along
  • 00:26:36
    um as far as his previous relationship
  • 00:26:39
    and where that stood but I didn't and I
  • 00:26:42
    what I what happened was I I was getting
  • 00:26:44
    affection that I had never gone I was
  • 00:26:46
    getting
  • 00:26:47
    um just like the affirmation I'd never
  • 00:26:49
    gotten the touch the quality time he hit
  • 00:26:53
    all those buttons he wanted to spend
  • 00:26:54
    time with me he always wanted he was
  • 00:26:57
    always affectionate in the car always
  • 00:26:58
    wanting to hold my hand he you know told
  • 00:27:02
    me all the things not I didn't feel like
  • 00:27:04
    it was telling me the things I wanted to
  • 00:27:06
    hear because he knew I wanted to hear
  • 00:27:07
    them I feel like he wanted those things
  • 00:27:09
    for himself it's almost like he was
  • 00:27:11
    projecting
  • 00:27:12
    his needs on me because he was he had a
  • 00:27:17
    such a void in there
  • 00:27:19
    um
  • 00:27:20
    also at the same time feeling the
  • 00:27:22
    attraction and everything else it was
  • 00:27:24
    honestly our relationship and our
  • 00:27:26
    communication and the way that we
  • 00:27:27
    connected was Miles Ahead of my my
  • 00:27:31
    ex-husband and I like it was something I
  • 00:27:34
    had never felt like before
  • 00:27:36
    so
  • 00:27:37
    here I go getting emotional again
  • 00:27:40
    um
  • 00:27:41
    but it ended and it was really hard
  • 00:27:44
    obviously like I accepted it um when we
  • 00:27:47
    broke up and I I was okay but it was
  • 00:27:51
    hard I felt like I had found this and
  • 00:27:54
    maybe God had brought me this person and
  • 00:27:56
    then it was taken away and
  • 00:27:58
    I you know I did learn to accept it and
  • 00:28:02
    then you know I I did a struggle though
  • 00:28:05
    with being hurt and I just knew
  • 00:28:09
    you know after some things I there was
  • 00:28:11
    some other things that happened in our
  • 00:28:12
    relationship that caused some trust
  • 00:28:14
    issues and looking back and coming out
  • 00:28:17
    of it I knew that it was better that I
  • 00:28:20
    wasn't with him but I also knew like I
  • 00:28:23
    needed to fix this problem because I had
  • 00:28:25
    fallen for a guy's I had fallen for
  • 00:28:28
    another guy in between my ex-husband and
  • 00:28:30
    this boyfriend that was totally bad for
  • 00:28:33
    me also and so I knew that
  • 00:28:38
    I needed to like get some help and
  • 00:28:41
    figure out why I kept falling for these
  • 00:28:43
    guys that
  • 00:28:44
    that just were not good for me and so
  • 00:28:47
    that's when I started therapy and you
  • 00:28:50
    know started therapy and then I ended up
  • 00:28:52
    losing another 30 pounds on top of that
  • 00:28:55
    just getting motivated and being you
  • 00:28:58
    know started having a new beginning
  • 00:28:59
    getting out of this relationship and
  • 00:29:01
    just like a new start last another 30
  • 00:29:03
    pounds and just
  • 00:29:05
    um and it was I was in a good place in
  • 00:29:07
    my life and or getting to a better place
  • 00:29:10
    so I had to turn on the light across
  • 00:29:12
    from me because we're losing light but
  • 00:29:13
    uh I got to a really healthy place where
  • 00:29:16
    I have gotten to a really healthy place
  • 00:29:17
    from this therapy and pardon me talk
  • 00:29:19
    about this before and it's amazing
  • 00:29:21
    because I had so much stuff in my life
  • 00:29:23
    that
  • 00:29:24
    wasn't good for me and I finally learned
  • 00:29:27
    to love myself and I'm have just come so
  • 00:29:30
    far you guys from that person that was
  • 00:29:33
    such a that would just like crushed as
  • 00:29:36
    getting a divorce from getting a divorce
  • 00:29:39
    devastated so her so empty I felt like a
  • 00:29:43
    piece of trash that had been thrown away
  • 00:29:45
    after that divorce
  • 00:29:47
    and
  • 00:29:49
    it's like a 360. I feel like I love
  • 00:29:51
    myself I don't allow things into my life
  • 00:29:53
    that aren't healthy or if I do I get
  • 00:29:56
    them out pretty quickly I started a
  • 00:29:58
    YouTube channel in October excuse me
  • 00:30:02
    after that breakup that I went through
  • 00:30:04
    just to help other people because I had
  • 00:30:06
    watched some videos on like going
  • 00:30:07
    through heartbreak and like dealing with
  • 00:30:09
    that and I
  • 00:30:12
    wanted to give back to the community so
  • 00:30:15
    I started uh and I and I did that video
  • 00:30:17
    on heartbreak and that kind of launched
  • 00:30:19
    me into doing YouTube videos and then in
  • 00:30:22
    December of that year I shared my weight
  • 00:30:23
    loss surgery story which has over 50 000
  • 00:30:26
    views it's insane to me that anyone like
  • 00:30:29
    wants to watch that but I'm glad that
  • 00:30:31
    they do and I'm glad that they have and
  • 00:30:33
    I'm thankful if you've seen that story
  • 00:30:35
    and you're here but
  • 00:30:37
    it's just amazing it's been so
  • 00:30:39
    therapeutic for me to go and do these
  • 00:30:41
    videos it's been so therapeutic for me
  • 00:30:43
    to just you know
  • 00:30:45
    value myself and I'm not currently
  • 00:30:47
    dating because it's just my priorities
  • 00:30:50
    are so much more focused on work and
  • 00:30:53
    business and my children and
  • 00:30:57
    yeah I don't know I just I wouldn't have
  • 00:31:00
    gotten through this without God and I'm
  • 00:31:03
    thankful to God that he has allowed me
  • 00:31:04
    to real see who I am and that I have
  • 00:31:07
    value as a person just for being on the
  • 00:31:09
    planet not for anything I've done for
  • 00:31:11
    anybody not for anything that I've had
  • 00:31:13
    to earn not because I did or didn't do
  • 00:31:17
    something a certain way but I'm a
  • 00:31:20
    valuable person just as Me Myself and
  • 00:31:24
    that's like the biggest thing that I
  • 00:31:26
    think I've learned is that I have value
  • 00:31:28
    in this world just because I was born
  • 00:31:30
    into this world you know there are so
  • 00:31:32
    many more things that I want to do to
  • 00:31:33
    help people that's always been my
  • 00:31:35
    passion I always knew and I have
  • 00:31:37
    previously shared at church and things
  • 00:31:39
    about my divorce story because I know
  • 00:31:41
    there's other people going through those
  • 00:31:43
    things I've always been a sharer of this
  • 00:31:45
    of some sort
  • 00:31:46
    and now I'm just kind of putting it all
  • 00:31:48
    out there and happy to but it's also
  • 00:31:52
    it's scary like this story is scary to
  • 00:31:54
    share
  • 00:31:55
    um you know there's I'm always afraid
  • 00:31:57
    there's just these are certain people
  • 00:31:58
    that you think about seeing your videos
  • 00:32:00
    like if I share this to my Facebook
  • 00:32:02
    friends like who's gonna watch and who's
  • 00:32:05
    you know going to know the incidents
  • 00:32:06
    that I was talking about things like
  • 00:32:07
    that it's very scary especially when
  • 00:32:09
    it's on a personal level like that but
  • 00:32:11
    it's been super therapeutic and I'm
  • 00:32:13
    happy to share those things with you
  • 00:32:14
    guys I hope this story maybe hits
  • 00:32:16
    someone somewhere just know like that I
  • 00:32:19
    have come out of this I've gotten like
  • 00:32:21
    promotion after promotion at my job now
  • 00:32:23
    and have a steady good income you know
  • 00:32:26
    to support my kids I'm I'm actually
  • 00:32:28
    going to be house shopping soon and that
  • 00:32:31
    is so exciting I always thought like I
  • 00:32:33
    wouldn't be able to do that without
  • 00:32:34
    getting remarried or something and now
  • 00:32:37
    it's like a possibility just doing this
  • 00:32:39
    on my own
  • 00:32:40
    and that to me is just amazing
  • 00:32:44
    um I have so so much to be thankful for
  • 00:32:47
    my life looks so different there were
  • 00:32:49
    times after my divorce that I was on
  • 00:32:52
    food stamps after my divorce I
  • 00:32:55
    would get food pantry packages
  • 00:32:59
    every week because I couldn't afford
  • 00:33:02
    much food so that would be like an extra
  • 00:33:04
    thing one Christmas I know Lily all she
  • 00:33:07
    wanted was that loving family dollhouse
  • 00:33:10
    and I could not afford to get it for her
  • 00:33:12
    and I called the Outreach at church
  • 00:33:15
    because they talked about helping people
  • 00:33:16
    with Christmas presents and
  • 00:33:18
    not Lisa she she does she had the
  • 00:33:21
    Outreach at church she's just an amazing
  • 00:33:23
    amazing person I didn't know her at the
  • 00:33:25
    time but she went and found that cute
  • 00:33:27
    little loving family dollhouse and and
  • 00:33:29
    brought it to to deliver to me and it
  • 00:33:32
    was it was like a dream came true like
  • 00:33:35
    my kid never had to know that where it
  • 00:33:37
    came from
  • 00:33:38
    um there's been so many times where
  • 00:33:39
    there was my bank account balance was
  • 00:33:41
    either negative or just had you know a
  • 00:33:44
    tiny bit in it and God would come
  • 00:33:45
    through somehow with money that was like
  • 00:33:47
    the perfect amount to cover what I
  • 00:33:49
    needed to cover like countless times of
  • 00:33:51
    that countless times of just me being
  • 00:33:55
    like God that would be awesome if I
  • 00:33:56
    could just hear this and uh I'm in a
  • 00:33:59
    good place now able to afford things not
  • 00:34:01
    on food stamps you know not getting my
  • 00:34:04
    electric shut off not having to you know
  • 00:34:07
    um ask other people for help for
  • 00:34:08
    Christmas presents I'm not saying those
  • 00:34:10
    are bad things just just like a cycle
  • 00:34:12
    it's just like a time that I went
  • 00:34:13
    through my life and all that pain could
  • 00:34:15
    be used for a good I hope you like this
  • 00:34:16
    video if you did give it a thumbs up I'm
  • 00:34:18
    sorry that it's long but it's like when
  • 00:34:21
    you're talking about your life there's
  • 00:34:22
    so much I left out I just wanted to get
  • 00:34:23
    to the to the to the part that I felt
  • 00:34:26
    like were important that were painful
  • 00:34:28
    but I've come through them and I'm in a
  • 00:34:30
    really good place and just wanted to
  • 00:34:32
    share that with you guys and uh I know
  • 00:34:35
    that everyone goes through hurts and
  • 00:34:36
    struggles and if you're going through
  • 00:34:37
    something I'm with you I I feel your
  • 00:34:39
    pain I've been there I totally get it
  • 00:34:43
    um you know I I I've literally laid on
  • 00:34:45
    my floor and just been sobbing crying so
  • 00:34:48
    hurt out of my mind hurt I've gone
  • 00:34:51
    through
  • 00:34:51
    all sorts of different things with my
  • 00:34:54
    family and I didn't want to really go
  • 00:34:56
    into that because I don't want to um
  • 00:34:59
    I don't want to like say bad things
  • 00:35:01
    about people or have that out there I
  • 00:35:04
    just want you to know that you're not
  • 00:35:05
    alone so I love you all and thank you so
  • 00:35:08
    much for watching as always
  • 00:35:11
    um
  • 00:35:12
    yeah I think that's all I have for you
  • 00:35:13
    I'll see you in the next video
Tags
  • Emily's story
  • self-worth
  • divorce
  • personal growth
  • relationships
  • affirmation
  • faith
  • YouTube channel
  • weight loss
  • childhood challenges