00:00:00
[Music]
00:00:03
in this lesson we're going to be talking
00:00:06
about taking responsibility and when you
00:00:09
take responsibility you create a life of
00:00:11
and what you will learn is what it means
00:00:14
to own your own mistake our lack of
00:00:16
accountability causes you time energy
00:00:19
and money and how excuses and
00:00:22
justifications keep you and the people
00:00:25
around you enormously frustrated in this
00:00:27
lesson we have a concept called of the
00:00:29
line here it is the line and we're going
00:00:32
to be talking about being above or below
00:00:34
the line so there it is so it's called
00:00:37
the hora leads the chart so are a CED
00:00:41
the OU are a stands for ownership
00:00:43
responsibility and accountability and
00:00:46
that's above the line behavior and below
00:00:48
the line we have blame
00:00:50
excuses justifications and denial and
00:00:53
that's below the line so here we have
00:00:55
above the line and below the line so if
00:00:58
I ask you is that a comic that's below
00:01:00
the line immediately you should have
00:01:02
some concept about what I'm saying I'm
00:01:04
saying are you being responsible here
00:01:06
and I want you to look at what you're
00:01:08
saying now how do we know when someone's
00:01:10
below the line well mostly it comes with
00:01:13
an enormous story now why did this
00:01:16
happen well you wouldn't believe how
00:01:18
come I was late today the alarm clock
00:01:20
didn't go up on time the traffic was
00:01:22
really really bad there was an accident
00:01:25
on the freeway now the truth is you just
00:01:27
didn't get here on time and we don't
00:01:29
really want to hear your story so above
00:01:31
the line or below the line now choosing
00:01:34
to take ownership and to be responsible
00:01:36
and accountable can be really difficult
00:01:37
but when we choose to live above the
00:01:39
line life is much easier it's freer and
00:01:42
it's fun
00:01:43
so responsibility is your choice and it
00:01:46
is a trip every moment of every day we
00:01:49
choose how we do we choose the values
00:01:51
and ideals to which we will hold
00:01:53
ourselves accountable now below the line
00:01:56
when we go below the line we fall into
00:01:58
the trap
00:01:58
blaming being in denial and having
00:02:01
excuses
00:02:02
and we give up control we become angry
00:02:05
and resentful and feel powerless when we
00:02:07
blame others for our problems below the
00:02:10
line is also being a victim stuff
00:02:12
happens to it
00:02:13
you can't change anything from this
00:02:16
place you're only a victim once is one
00:02:18
of my friends tears and every other time
00:02:20
you are a willing participant blame you
00:02:23
know your blame when the first word out
00:02:26
of your mouth is you you do this unit
00:02:30
then and you didn't do this that you
00:02:32
didn't do that I go on and on and on and
00:02:35
it's so common for people to blame
00:02:38
everyone else around them but take a
00:02:40
look at how if I contribute to what
00:02:44
happens here it's always someone else's
00:02:47
fault when you're playing and there is
00:02:49
no learning no movement forge and no
00:02:52
happiness enjoy then excuses and
00:02:55
justifications you make excuses or
00:02:57
justify when the words but you've
00:02:59
certain I think you're a really nice
00:03:02
person and this is a wonderful thing to
00:03:04
do but and what it does is it absolutely
00:03:08
negates everything you said already and
00:03:10
now I've got to hear a story or a excuse
00:03:14
here because well the reason I didn't
00:03:17
get the project in on time is because
00:03:19
and then hold on because you're going to
00:03:21
get a really big story and lots of
00:03:23
rubbish come out of my mouth immediately
00:03:25
after this because embellishing your
00:03:28
story and finding people to agree with
00:03:30
you is another way of making excuses and
00:03:34
justification and of course denial is
00:03:36
just when you're totally unwilling to
00:03:39
see what's going on and you refuse to
00:03:41
face reality and that's very very simple
00:03:44
to pretend it's just not happening
00:03:47
we really really don't have a problem in
00:03:49
our relationship however my wife doesn't
00:03:52
live with me anymore and I'm in a house
00:03:54
on my own but it was all her fault and
00:03:57
there was nothing wrong with me
00:04:00
it was also or on the other side of the
00:04:02
hill resulting you know it's very very
00:04:05
common to have an enormous amount of
00:04:07
denial living above the line when we
00:04:09
choose to live above the line no matter
00:04:11
how hard that may be we are freed up to
00:04:14
reinvent ourselves and learn the lessons
00:04:16
that we need to learn blaming excuses
00:04:19
and denial powerful questions you can
00:04:21
ask yourself when things are not working
00:04:23
and here they are and by looking for
00:04:27
someone to blame here and by making
00:04:29
excuses and justifying my action am i in
00:04:32
denial about what's happening has this
00:04:34
ever happened to you
00:04:35
we're driving to an appointment or to
00:04:37
work and you're late and you're thinking
00:04:39
about all of these reasons and excuses
00:04:41
that you can come up with that have got
00:04:44
to be really good story when you get
00:04:46
there to tell the people about why it
00:04:49
was for your life that's what we're
00:04:51
talking about here we have an enormous
00:04:53
ability to make up stories that will be
00:04:56
really really good so on which side of
00:04:58
the line 80 is the answer to any of
00:05:01
these previous question is yes then you
00:05:04
are below the line ownership is the
00:05:06
ability to own your path responsibility
00:05:11
is the ability to respond respond our
00:05:14
village and accountability is the
00:05:17
ability to account for so here we have
00:05:20
the aura bed with charting in and I want
00:05:22
to give you another twist on it being
00:05:23
assertive that is pleasant time direct
00:05:27
honest open is above the line behavior
00:05:30
below the line behavior is passion
00:05:32
aggressive and passive aggressive the
00:05:35
passive person says nothing and most
00:05:38
with their feet they avoid conflict at
00:05:40
all costs the aggressive person creates
00:05:42
conflict runs around blaming everybody
00:05:44
about what's going on and being really
00:05:46
now before you do and the passive
00:05:47
aggressive person switches in between
00:05:49
and there's a backstabbers and the
00:05:51
gossips and those sorts of people who go
00:05:53
around undermining behavior everywhere
00:05:55
so we have below the line and above the
00:05:57
line for assertive passive aggressive
00:06:00
passive-aggressive behavior taking
00:06:02
responsibility will give you an insight
00:06:05
and clarity to start to move forward
00:06:07
taking responsibility allows you to
00:06:09
learn from experience grow and feel more
00:06:12
powerful in any situation staying above
00:06:16
the line is a moment-by-moment choice as
00:06:18
you consistently choose to be
00:06:21
responsible it becomes easier to stay
00:06:23
above the line and only by owning our
00:06:26
actions can we change our world when you
00:06:29
live above the line you act assertively
00:06:32
and proactively assertive behavior will
00:06:35
deliver the results you want learning to
00:06:37
say no say no should below-the-line
00:06:39
behaviors indulging in these behaviors
00:06:42
is like throwing a tantrum you will be
00:06:44
tempted to move below the line when you
00:06:46
are feeling under pressure on who you
00:06:49
are when you're above the line you will
00:06:51
discover who you are and what you're
00:06:53
made of you take responsibility and
00:06:56
demonstrate that in all of your actions
00:06:58
and you live in the present and can see
00:07:00
your impact in what's going on and those
00:07:02
around you taking ownership of your
00:07:04
response gives you the power to change
00:07:06
your life live above the line and as
00:07:09
Mahatma Gandhi said be the change you
00:07:11
want to see in the world and thank you
00:07:14
for completing this responsibility
00:07:16
lesson
00:07:17
[Music]
