How to Stand Out on Your College Essays This Fall (Webinar Recording)

01:07:56
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyxbJ4iFfHs

Résumé

TLDRIn this session, Ethan Sawyer and Renee Ferrio offer insights into writing standout college essays. They discuss the elements of a successful college application by focusing on demonstrations of intellectual curiosity, initiative, and collaboration. Specific strategies include choosing unique essay topics, making uncommon connections, and using specific language to distinguish oneself. The session provides guidance on crafting the activities list by highlighting responsibilities with active verbs and leveraging the additional information section to elaborate on unique experiences or challenges. Additionally, the speakers introduce upcoming courses designed to aid students in writing personal statements and supplemental essays, offering a pay-what-you-can model. The emphasis is on creating narratives that reveal important personal traits and values, advised through examples and resources like a values exercise and workshops.

A retenir

  • 🎓 Intellectual curiosity and initiative are key qualities admissions look for.
  • 📝 Starting an essay with a question intrigues the reader.
  • 🔍 Making uncommon connections in essays helps them stand out.
  • ✍️ Use strong active verbs for an effective activities list.
  • 📚 Additional info sections can expand on unique experiences.
  • 🎯 Focus on unique traits and values in essays.
  • 📘 Upcoming courses on personal statements and applications are available.
  • 🗣️ Apply a variety of essay techniques to convey diverse aspects of yourself.
  • 🎥 Use specific examples and narratives to demonstrate personal skills.
  • 💡 Resources like the values exercise help brainstorm essay content.

Chronologie

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    This video introduces a workshop on how to make your college essays stand out, featuring Ethan and Renee Ferrario. Ethan outlines the workshop structure, including a review of successful college applications and Renee's role in addressing live questions from participants.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Ethan begins by describing the successful application of an international student who applied to Columbia. He highlights a personal statement theme centered on 'home,' showcasing the student's depth and uniqueness. The personal statement began with an interesting narrative about an airport, capturing attention early on.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    The narrative continues as the student reflects on cultural transitions and finding comfort in her mother's voice, symbolizing 'home.' Ethan points out the student's ability to avoid clichés by using detailed and specific instances, thus highlighting her unique perspective and intellectual curiosity.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The student explores what constitutes a home through various experiences, including a food blog and a photojournalism project. Ethan emphasizes the student's initiative and curiosity, noting how she connects with her community and the school where personal connections broaden her sense of belonging.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    In conclusion, the student's reflection on 'where is home' showcases her creative engagement with the question. The essay's thematic coherence and surprising yet fitting ending illustrate a well-crafted narrative that aligns with Aristotelian storytelling principles.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    Ethan shifts focus to the student's activities list, stressing the importance of strong, varied verbs and specific achievements. The list reflects leadership, creativity, and a range of interests, showing how these contribute to the student's multifaceted profile.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    The video transitions to discussing the additional information section in applications. Ethan advises its use for expanding on or explaining activities and circumstances that don't fit elsewhere, like school programs or personal challenges.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    The segment on supplemental essays outlines how students should tailor their essays, focusing on specific university programs or professors to demonstrate research and genuine interest. Ethan uses Columbia's requirements as an example and emphasizes the point of connecting personal goals with university offerings.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:00

    Ethan presents an exemplary soccer essay to highlight writing about common topics. The key to standing out lies in making uncommon connections and detailing personal insights. This helps avoid clichés while engaging with a relatable subject like soccer.

  • 00:45:00 - 00:50:00

    Common topics, like soccer, can showcase diverse aspects of a student's identity by connecting them to less obvious values and insights, such as geographical interests or cultural connections, fostering a rich exploration of the student's character.

  • 00:50:00 - 00:55:00

    In advising on the activities list, Ethan encourages using better verbs and thorough content to effectively cover one's roles and responsibilities. He discusses a strategy for representing skills and values to college admissions.

  • 00:55:00 - 01:00:00

    Finally, Ethan explains the relevance of specificity in additional information sections for explaining unconventional experiences or gaps, reiterating its importance in providing context to admissions officers so they fully understand the applicant's background.

  • 01:00:00 - 01:07:56

    The session concludes with a brief mention of upcoming courses, encouraging further engagement for those interested in expanding their college application skills. A Q&A session follows, addressing common questions about essay strategies and submission nuances.

Afficher plus

Carte mentale

Mind Map

Questions fréquemment posées

  • Who is hosting the session?

    The session is hosted by Ethan Sawyer with Renee Ferrio answering questions.

  • What is the main focus of the session?

    The focus is on how to stand out in college essays and applications.

  • What are some key qualities admissions officers look for according to the session?

    Key qualities include intellectual curiosity, initiative, and collaboration skills.

  • What does the session say about writing on common topics?

    The session advises to make uncommon connections and use specific, unique details to stand out.

  • Who is Renee Ferrio?

    Renee Ferrio is a senior college counselor with nearly 30 years of experience.

  • Does the video provide information on upcoming courses?

    Yes, it mentions courses on personal statements and college application essays.

  • What is emphasized about starting a college essay?

    It's suggested to start with a question that keeps the reader intrigued.

  • Is there a specific technique recommended for writing activities lists?

    Yes, using strong active verbs and showing specific responsibilities is recommended.

  • How does the session suggest handling the additional information section?

    Use it to expand or explain activities and experiences not fully covered elsewhere in the application.

  • Are there resources provided for writing college essays?

    Yes, the session provides resources like a values exercise and additional info guide.

Voir plus de résumés vidéo

Accédez instantanément à des résumés vidéo gratuits sur YouTube grâce à l'IA !
Sous-titres
en
Défilement automatique:
  • 00:00:02
    hey friends welcome y'all this is the
  • 00:00:04
    southern Edition of how to stand out on
  • 00:00:06
    your college essays this fall which
  • 00:00:08
    Rhymes nicely I'm joined today by Renee
  • 00:00:11
    ferio whom you'll meet just in a minute
  • 00:00:14
    um I uh reached out to Renee because I
  • 00:00:17
    was like you know when we run these
  • 00:00:18
    sessions I'm I'll be leading the main
  • 00:00:20
    content today but it's really awesomely
  • 00:00:21
    helpful if we have somebody who's uh
  • 00:00:24
    very experienced uh who can and very I
  • 00:00:26
    know it's kind of loaded here but
  • 00:00:27
    experienced who can answer your
  • 00:00:29
    questions live so sometimes it's Tom
  • 00:00:31
    doing it today it's Renee Renee will you
  • 00:00:33
    do us a favor introduce yourself to the
  • 00:00:35
    folks tell us who you are in the ceg
  • 00:00:37
    verse yes I will um thank you Ethan my
  • 00:00:39
    name is Renee ferrario and I am a senior
  • 00:00:42
    college counselor at College SE Guy this
  • 00:00:45
    is my fourth year um as a college
  • 00:00:48
    counselor working for Ethan and working
  • 00:00:50
    with lovely students all over the world
  • 00:00:53
    actually um and I have about close to 30
  • 00:00:56
    years I'm I'm edging up to 30 years of
  • 00:00:59
    experience as a college counselor I
  • 00:01:01
    worked in public schools I worked in
  • 00:01:03
    Independent Schools and now I'm working
  • 00:01:05
    um for Ethan doing this lovely work that
  • 00:01:07
    we do so and I was available when Ethan
  • 00:01:11
    asked and so I'm glad to jump in here
  • 00:01:13
    and answer questions in the Q&A for you
  • 00:01:15
    today thanks I'm so glad you're here so
  • 00:01:18
    I'll be sharing my screen in just a
  • 00:01:19
    minute and delivering sort of like the
  • 00:01:21
    main content the bullet points the
  • 00:01:22
    things we're covering today I'll get
  • 00:01:24
    into in just a second Renee is standing
  • 00:01:26
    by waiting to take your calls in the
  • 00:01:28
    chat so got if you've got a question
  • 00:01:30
    related to or even not related to just
  • 00:01:33
    throw it into the Q&A section Rene is
  • 00:01:36
    going to be in there typing away and so
  • 00:01:37
    we'll be working on kind of two fronts
  • 00:01:39
    here sometimes we can get to like 40 or
  • 00:01:41
    more questions which is cool so don't be
  • 00:01:43
    shy um in terms of the main content what
  • 00:01:46
    we're covering today I'm going to start
  • 00:01:47
    with looking at a successful college
  • 00:01:49
    application successful in at least two
  • 00:01:51
    ways one the student got into the school
  • 00:01:53
    she wanted to get into and successful
  • 00:01:55
    also in the sense that it's revealing
  • 00:01:57
    skills qualities values interests
  • 00:02:00
    that really show who this student is
  • 00:02:02
    what she's going to bring to a community
  • 00:02:03
    uh as we're going through that I'm going
  • 00:02:04
    to I'm going to highlight two important
  • 00:02:06
    qualities that I think admission
  • 00:02:07
    officers look for and the qualities that
  • 00:02:09
    I'm going to be talking about are not
  • 00:02:11
    just me guessing I did a pretty
  • 00:02:14
    comprehensive analysis of what colleges
  • 00:02:15
    are looking for um this earlier this
  • 00:02:18
    year I did a nine-part podcast with Tom
  • 00:02:20
    Campbell on what colleges look for um
  • 00:02:23
    which you can check out on our podcast
  • 00:02:25
    and then I went and looked at a hundred
  • 00:02:27
    different school websites I had somebody
  • 00:02:29
    help with us but looked at school
  • 00:02:31
    websites to analyze what do colleges
  • 00:02:33
    admissions look for um had some back and
  • 00:02:36
    forth with some folks on our team
  • 00:02:37
    including R and we kind of we're like
  • 00:02:39
    yeah we arrived at these what we call
  • 00:02:40
    these College admission nutrients so
  • 00:02:42
    I'll share a little bit about that uh
  • 00:02:44
    I'm going to look at an essay that's
  • 00:02:45
    that's on a more common topic which in
  • 00:02:47
    this case today is soccer how do you
  • 00:02:49
    make a soccer essay work well uh we'll
  • 00:02:51
    talk about that then I'm going to talk
  • 00:02:53
    to you briefly about how to make an
  • 00:02:54
    awesome activities list and how to use
  • 00:02:56
    that additional information section
  • 00:02:59
    which I'll explain more about later but
  • 00:03:01
    basically this is a section of the the
  • 00:03:02
    common app that allows you to talk about
  • 00:03:05
    other sides of yourself so the question
  • 00:03:06
    is what what kind of stuff do you put
  • 00:03:08
    there so I'll get to that and then I'll
  • 00:03:10
    tell you briefly about we've got a
  • 00:03:12
    couple awesome courses coming up in
  • 00:03:14
    September these are courses that one is
  • 00:03:17
    the first one's on per the personal
  • 00:03:18
    statement which maybe Diana you could
  • 00:03:19
    just share the link to these if you
  • 00:03:21
    Diana is our awesome moderator today
  • 00:03:22
    thank you Diana who is a star in her own
  • 00:03:24
    right but we've got an awesome course on
  • 00:03:26
    the personal statement that's coming up
  • 00:03:27
    in about a month and then one on the
  • 00:03:30
    college application and supplemental
  • 00:03:31
    essays so you're today you're kind of
  • 00:03:32
    getting a sneak peek of that but it's
  • 00:03:34
    everything today is free the courses
  • 00:03:36
    also are pay what you can and if you
  • 00:03:38
    sign up for the first one you get 50%
  • 00:03:40
    off the second one which is cool so more
  • 00:03:42
    on that soon and um yeah well I'll get
  • 00:03:45
    into that later and then we'll do Q&A
  • 00:03:47
    but we'll do Q&A throughout so um let's
  • 00:03:49
    here my screen Rene is gonna go into
  • 00:03:51
    question answering mode thanks Renee and
  • 00:03:54
    um here let me just I'm just going to
  • 00:03:56
    share this awesome application with
  • 00:03:58
    y'all um so this was a student and I
  • 00:04:01
    know I'm not sharing just yet let me
  • 00:04:02
    just click
  • 00:04:03
    it there we go okay so this is a student
  • 00:04:07
    that I worked with it's been a couple
  • 00:04:09
    years it's been maybe like three years I
  • 00:04:11
    think since I worked with a student and
  • 00:04:14
    what the way that I like to work with
  • 00:04:16
    students is we we you know do the
  • 00:04:18
    brainstorming we get into you know with
  • 00:04:21
    my coaches we get into like super
  • 00:04:24
    creative mode where we're kind of
  • 00:04:25
    looking at what are the different sides
  • 00:04:26
    of you and how do they manifest
  • 00:04:28
    themselves in the application
  • 00:04:30
    we go through the process of you know
  • 00:04:32
    drafting figuring out the supplemental
  • 00:04:33
    essays and then when we're close to done
  • 00:04:36
    we create what's called an almost done
  • 00:04:37
    document so you're looking at the almost
  • 00:04:39
    done document from this student and
  • 00:04:42
    what's included on that document is the
  • 00:04:43
    student's personal statement her
  • 00:04:46
    activities list her additional
  • 00:04:48
    information section and um her
  • 00:04:51
    supplemental essays for Columbia this is
  • 00:04:53
    the school that she was applying early
  • 00:04:54
    decision at it was the essentially the
  • 00:04:56
    only school she applied to and she was
  • 00:04:58
    an international student which is to say
  • 00:05:00
    she was applying from overseas and it's
  • 00:05:03
    harder to get into schools you know when
  • 00:05:05
    you're when you're applying as an
  • 00:05:06
    international student often um uh just
  • 00:05:09
    it's very very competitive I'll just put
  • 00:05:10
    it that way so I want to walk you
  • 00:05:12
    through this and what I think some
  • 00:05:14
    different tips that you can apply when
  • 00:05:16
    you're looking at writing your own
  • 00:05:18
    application so I want to read you
  • 00:05:20
    through this personal statement I might
  • 00:05:21
    Zoom past a few of the parts just for
  • 00:05:23
    the sake of time today and I'll say this
  • 00:05:25
    this student had written an initial
  • 00:05:27
    draft of her application or personal
  • 00:05:29
    statement rather and it was based on her
  • 00:05:31
    creativity and how her creativity showed
  • 00:05:33
    up in her life in different ways and
  • 00:05:35
    then after a couple months of working on
  • 00:05:37
    it and she got some feedback from her
  • 00:05:39
    counselor she's like I think I can go
  • 00:05:40
    deeper here and so we looked at some of
  • 00:05:42
    the pieces that she'd been working on in
  • 00:05:43
    terms of her creativity and she realized
  • 00:05:46
    that there was this common theme of
  • 00:05:48
    searching for home so the theme of her
  • 00:05:51
    essay you'll see here at the start she
  • 00:05:53
    says about a decade ago a teacher asked
  • 00:05:55
    me what would be the first thing you'd
  • 00:05:56
    include if you were building a City
  • 00:05:58
    without hesitation and I said an
  • 00:06:00
    airport I grew up traveling between
  • 00:06:03
    Shanghai and San Francisco and around
  • 00:06:04
    the world but amid the hustle and bustle
  • 00:06:06
    the smell of stir fried bok choy and
  • 00:06:08
    500m elevators love that detail by the
  • 00:06:10
    way and turkeys jostling Along on our
  • 00:06:13
    morning walks to Emerald Glenn Park in
  • 00:06:15
    Pleasanton California my mother was the
  • 00:06:18
    constant I called both China and America
  • 00:06:20
    home but felt most at home in her
  • 00:06:24
    presence but I left my mother too so
  • 00:06:26
    what she's sort of setting up here is
  • 00:06:28
    there's a it's kind of what I call it a
  • 00:06:30
    narrative opening in the sense that it's
  • 00:06:31
    a story but she's raising a question in
  • 00:06:33
    her mind and the question is related to
  • 00:06:36
    home so she found home I mean her mom
  • 00:06:39
    but then she left her mom so the
  • 00:06:40
    question in my mind is like okay where's
  • 00:06:42
    home she says three years ago I passed
  • 00:06:44
    through the familiar Shanghai airport
  • 00:06:46
    but to an unfamiliar place the Southwest
  • 00:06:49
    High School in San raone California
  • 00:06:51
    holding an American passport I arrived
  • 00:06:53
    as an international student and often
  • 00:06:55
    felt as if I was the other now there's a
  • 00:06:58
    common Trope here where students often
  • 00:07:00
    write about feeling like they're a third
  • 00:07:02
    culture kid not quite this culture not
  • 00:07:04
    quite the other I also was a third
  • 00:07:05
    culture kid and there is a way of
  • 00:07:07
    writing about this that could seem very
  • 00:07:09
    common but she avoids some of the common
  • 00:07:11
    tropes um and she writes about it with
  • 00:07:13
    such specificity in detail and you'll
  • 00:07:15
    notice in a second what I mean and she
  • 00:07:17
    reveals so many different sides of
  • 00:07:18
    herself that I think that's what helps
  • 00:07:19
    her stand out here she says that's when
  • 00:07:22
    home became my mother's voice I'm going
  • 00:07:24
    to just start highlighting instances
  • 00:07:26
    where she mentions the word
  • 00:07:27
    home though disturbed by inter and
  • 00:07:29
    coughs that immediately recognizable
  • 00:07:31
    sound remained T remained tender
  • 00:07:33
    remained tender and Serene and despite
  • 00:07:35
    the unease in my questions about her
  • 00:07:37
    chemotherapy I found and find refuge in
  • 00:07:40
    her voice the place of comfort and
  • 00:07:42
    strength warmth and familiarity so she
  • 00:07:44
    lists one of her homes as her mom's
  • 00:07:47
    voice and this was a big deal in her
  • 00:07:49
    life because her mother had cancer as
  • 00:07:50
    you can kind of tell subtly but you know
  • 00:07:52
    it's there and this had this kind of
  • 00:07:54
    rocked her but she didn't want to write
  • 00:07:56
    an essay that was all about dealing with
  • 00:07:57
    her mother's illness she wanted to show
  • 00:07:59
    up sides of herself so notice the next
  • 00:08:02
    paragraph still searching for a sense of
  • 00:08:04
    belonging so that's kind of related to
  • 00:08:06
    home Beyond those Friday night calls I
  • 00:08:07
    began keeping a food blog and it was
  • 00:08:10
    called also the foods of home she didn't
  • 00:08:12
    know that she was going to make home her
  • 00:08:14
    her um her theme for her essay but she
  • 00:08:16
    was like oh my gosh you know when we
  • 00:08:18
    kind of landed on this theme in my post
  • 00:08:20
    she says I described the taste of sweet
  • 00:08:22
    and sour pork in hungo ruminating on
  • 00:08:24
    Jing Bridge which I walked by with Ling
  • 00:08:27
    XI my hidden middle name I wondered if I
  • 00:08:29
    found some ancestry in that City soon I
  • 00:08:33
    discovered another piece of Home in New
  • 00:08:34
    York City's Chelsea Market too while
  • 00:08:36
    licking fresh strawberry gelato and
  • 00:08:38
    watching the crowds pass by through food
  • 00:08:41
    here's another place she found a home I
  • 00:08:43
    often felt more connected with people in
  • 00:08:45
    places around the world somehow those
  • 00:08:47
    sensory experiences the taste smell
  • 00:08:49
    texture the look of a morsel and even
  • 00:08:51
    the surrounding eror triggered certain
  • 00:08:53
    memories and a burst of Rose tinted
  • 00:08:56
    Nostalgia now what I love that she's
  • 00:08:58
    doing here besides there's some nice
  • 00:08:59
    poetic language which is not required to
  • 00:09:01
    get into a great school but it's nice
  • 00:09:02
    when it's there is she's got lots of
  • 00:09:05
    specifics and when I look at these
  • 00:09:07
    sentences I go are these sentences that
  • 00:09:09
    someone else could have written and
  • 00:09:11
    certainly I look at this and I think I
  • 00:09:13
    could ask anybody on this call right now
  • 00:09:15
    there are 700 of you could any of you
  • 00:09:16
    have written this sentence and been
  • 00:09:18
    truthful no this is not a sentence that
  • 00:09:20
    you could have written because it's
  • 00:09:21
    particularly from her
  • 00:09:22
    experiences so consider this each
  • 00:09:27
    sentence in your application is an
  • 00:09:29
    opportunity to either blend in or stand
  • 00:09:32
    out you can either blend in and you can
  • 00:09:34
    stand out and how do you know if you've
  • 00:09:36
    already worked on your application take
  • 00:09:37
    a look at your personal statement and
  • 00:09:38
    pick sentence number five does it sound
  • 00:09:41
    like something someone else could have
  • 00:09:42
    written if so it's probably an
  • 00:09:44
    opportunity for some revision so you can
  • 00:09:46
    get into some of these specifics that'll
  • 00:09:48
    help your essay pop
  • 00:09:50
    out yet somehow she says something never
  • 00:09:52
    felt right so she's raising the question
  • 00:09:54
    again of the essay perhaps those
  • 00:09:57
    romanticized feelings began to resemble
  • 00:09:59
    home home only because I was constantly
  • 00:10:01
    moving yearning for home so this is what
  • 00:10:03
    the essay is about a yearning for home
  • 00:10:05
    and the question in her mind is where
  • 00:10:06
    will she find it maybe it was my
  • 00:10:08
    eagerness to confirm that home could
  • 00:10:10
    reside in the mind that made me see it
  • 00:10:13
    everywhere I went but could these
  • 00:10:15
    feelings and thoughts truly constitute a
  • 00:10:16
    home I love that she's asking big
  • 00:10:19
    questions to me this speaks of
  • 00:10:22
    intellectual
  • 00:10:23
    curiosity um so she's basically saying
  • 00:10:27
    you you're getting the sense that she's
  • 00:10:28
    a critical thinker
  • 00:10:30
    intrigued she says I sought to find a
  • 00:10:32
    more concrete connection to the physical
  • 00:10:34
    place in which I
  • 00:10:35
    lived last year I developed a
  • 00:10:37
    photojournalism project aiming to
  • 00:10:38
    capture the people and stories of ohigh
  • 00:10:41
    to connect myself and my school to
  • 00:10:42
    Community School Community to our town I
  • 00:10:45
    interviewed the owner of an organic
  • 00:10:46
    Family Restaurant enjoying stories about
  • 00:10:48
    his favorite purple cauliflower I met
  • 00:10:50
    Kate the baker of a gourmet bread shop
  • 00:10:52
    and learned about her 8-year-old
  • 00:10:54
    daughter's love of fig pudding people
  • 00:10:56
    with whom I used to share a quick hello
  • 00:10:58
    became the Touchstone of home so these
  • 00:11:00
    are now she's finding home and people
  • 00:11:02
    that she's meeting surprisingly along
  • 00:11:05
    the way I also discovered some residents
  • 00:11:06
    didn't exactly see themselves belonging
  • 00:11:08
    to our town a mid-50s steel worker
  • 00:11:11
    conveyed his struggle understanding
  • 00:11:13
    Ohio's upscale hipster culture oel the
  • 00:11:16
    adored burrito maker still finds more
  • 00:11:17
    Solace is in his original latinx
  • 00:11:20
    Community I could relate here's the
  • 00:11:23
    conclusion while I can trace connections
  • 00:11:24
    to so many places literal and figurative
  • 00:11:27
    I too have found it difficult to feel
  • 00:11:29
    connected to a permanent place so where
  • 00:11:32
    is my home perhaps art can be my
  • 00:11:37
    home through photographs and paintings I
  • 00:11:39
    perceive and connect with the world
  • 00:11:40
    through color light and detail as I work
  • 00:11:43
    to reveal my subconscious thoughts and
  • 00:11:45
    unadulterated self so there's that theme
  • 00:11:46
    of creativity and art making coming back
  • 00:11:49
    into her
  • 00:11:50
    essay in dance focusing my breath with
  • 00:11:53
    others I sink with the Ensemble and
  • 00:11:55
    truly own my physical presence so
  • 00:11:58
    implication here's another place where
  • 00:11:59
    she finds herself at home then again she
  • 00:12:02
    says perhaps for me airport really is
  • 00:12:04
    the best answer it's the in between
  • 00:12:07
    space the crossroads of the world a
  • 00:12:10
    Place full of people longing for home
  • 00:12:13
    people coming to and going from home
  • 00:12:15
    where I seem to
  • 00:12:17
    belong while I continue to seek answers
  • 00:12:20
    striving to understand my own and others
  • 00:12:23
    place in this world you can look for me
  • 00:12:25
    at both arrivals and departures
  • 00:12:31
    so she's delivered something that to me
  • 00:12:33
    a great ending is is it surprising and
  • 00:12:36
    inevitable and so it's surprising to me
  • 00:12:39
    because she I don't expect her to
  • 00:12:41
    basically not answer the question she's
  • 00:12:43
    not saying like I found home here in
  • 00:12:45
    this concrete place but she kind of is
  • 00:12:47
    and she's kind of coming back to the
  • 00:12:48
    place where she began which makes this a
  • 00:12:50
    little bit inevitable so as you're
  • 00:12:53
    thinking about the ending to your
  • 00:12:55
    essay is it surprising and inevitable
  • 00:12:58
    now I'm not making this these terms up
  • 00:13:00
    this is from Aristotle you know when he
  • 00:13:03
    talks about a great ending in the in
  • 00:13:05
    Poetics this is sort of what can make
  • 00:13:07
    for a great ending and it's something to
  • 00:13:08
    strive for it it I want to say to youall
  • 00:13:10
    again listening this is an incredibly
  • 00:13:12
    well-crafted essay she spent a lot of
  • 00:13:14
    time on it you don't have to write
  • 00:13:15
    something that's well-crafted in order
  • 00:13:17
    to get into a great school but when it
  • 00:13:19
    comes to standing out a few things to
  • 00:13:21
    notice here number one she's asking a
  • 00:13:23
    question at the start of the essay
  • 00:13:25
    that's a simple thing that you can apply
  • 00:13:27
    so number one what question could I ask
  • 00:13:29
    at the start of my essay that I could
  • 00:13:31
    potentially carry throughout that
  • 00:13:33
    intrigues the reader and gets them
  • 00:13:34
    wanting to know what comes next
  • 00:13:36
    okay second is there some kind of theme
  • 00:13:40
    that runs throughout that allows them to
  • 00:13:42
    sort of get a sense of different sides
  • 00:13:44
    of you so in this case she chose places
  • 00:13:46
    where she finds herself at home and even
  • 00:13:48
    though she never sort of resides and
  • 00:13:50
    like I'm definitely at home here
  • 00:13:51
    definitely at home here we get to learn
  • 00:13:52
    about her connection to her mom and
  • 00:13:54
    family we get to connect learn about her
  • 00:13:56
    connection to her writing and her love
  • 00:13:58
    of food we also get to learn about her
  • 00:14:00
    artmaking self her photojournalism
  • 00:14:03
    projects and even she mentions subtly
  • 00:14:05
    and briefly here um paintings that she
  • 00:14:08
    done does and dance so we're getting a
  • 00:14:11
    sense that this is an artist truly an
  • 00:14:12
    artist mind at work but it's not an
  • 00:14:15
    essay that's just basically recapping
  • 00:14:16
    all of her accomplishments because that
  • 00:14:18
    she's going to put those in just a
  • 00:14:19
    minute in her activities and awards
  • 00:14:21
    list another thing that I mentioned so I
  • 00:14:23
    mentioned intellectual curiosity is
  • 00:14:25
    something that's that's really nice here
  • 00:14:27
    that's really clear
  • 00:14:29
    I also another quality that's coming
  • 00:14:30
    through here that admission officers
  • 00:14:32
    love to see is initiative so this isn't
  • 00:14:35
    somebody who just has a question and
  • 00:14:37
    then just sits back she's taking
  • 00:14:39
    initiative to try and find herself she's
  • 00:14:43
    taking initiative through this food blog
  • 00:14:44
    that she started she's taking initiative
  • 00:14:46
    by doing this photojournalism project um
  • 00:14:50
    asking lots of big questions so you can
  • 00:14:52
    see her leadership in a way and by by
  • 00:14:54
    that I mean like her her self leadership
  • 00:14:57
    now you'll see later in the application
  • 00:14:58
    other in instances of leadership where
  • 00:15:00
    she's working with others but I really
  • 00:15:03
    like that this is somebody who has
  • 00:15:04
    curiosity and then does something about
  • 00:15:06
    it so those are like I guess tips three
  • 00:15:09
    and four and then finally this sort of
  • 00:15:11
    like thinking about your ending is your
  • 00:15:13
    ending potentially something that could
  • 00:15:14
    be surprising and inevitable something
  • 00:15:17
    that gives us both sides of that okay
  • 00:15:21
    her activities list so she headed so one
  • 00:15:24
    of the things that I love at the start
  • 00:15:25
    of this is that she shows her leadership
  • 00:15:27
    thing so she's co-head of this captain
  • 00:15:29
    of this and then the fact that she was
  • 00:15:31
    this should be number three but whatever
  • 00:15:33
    um she was selected for this is really
  • 00:15:35
    cool if you were chosen to do a
  • 00:15:37
    particular role I think it's nice to
  • 00:15:39
    include that so if somebody nominated
  • 00:15:41
    you and chose you put selected in there
  • 00:15:43
    in this case she was selected by the
  • 00:15:45
    faculty now I'll get into details of
  • 00:15:48
    this in just a little bit but one of the
  • 00:15:49
    main things that I'll say and I'll share
  • 00:15:51
    with you a resource on this later is
  • 00:15:53
    that I think it's good to get strong
  • 00:15:55
    active verbs in your activities list
  • 00:15:57
    descriptions so notice that she's
  • 00:15:59
    organize she coordinates with the school
  • 00:16:02
    admin she co-designs all School
  • 00:16:04
    diversity workshops and it's a great way
  • 00:16:06
    of seeing her in different Realms so
  • 00:16:09
    imagine that each one of these is a
  • 00:16:10
    photograph we see her organizing the
  • 00:16:13
    speaker series so that's one bit of work
  • 00:16:16
    probably on a laptop and then she's
  • 00:16:18
    coordinating with School administration
  • 00:16:19
    we see her talking with you know some of
  • 00:16:21
    the adults in her school and then she's
  • 00:16:23
    co-designing all School diversity
  • 00:16:25
    workshops so that's probably I would
  • 00:16:26
    guess some group different group of
  • 00:16:28
    folks that she's working work with to do
  • 00:16:29
    that so you can kind of think of each of
  • 00:16:31
    these as a little snapshot showing you
  • 00:16:34
    little mini Montage of like you can see
  • 00:16:35
    me doing this see me doing this see me
  • 00:16:37
    doing this ideally each one is showing
  • 00:16:39
    you doing something slightly different
  • 00:16:42
    and then boom in the next activity we're
  • 00:16:44
    seeing her at a whole different image of
  • 00:16:45
    her she's danced for 15 years separate
  • 00:16:48
    from that we see her leading rehearsals
  • 00:16:50
    and encouraging new dancers separate
  • 00:16:52
    from that she's collaborating with the
  • 00:16:54
    teacher to organize different things so
  • 00:16:56
    each one of these shows her dancing
  • 00:16:57
    maybe on her own leading rehearsals so
  • 00:17:00
    we see leadership there and then
  • 00:17:01
    separately from that she's again working
  • 00:17:02
    with an adult we see the collaborator in
  • 00:17:05
    her which is another awesome quality
  • 00:17:07
    that colleges love I'm not going to go
  • 00:17:09
    through all these activities just now
  • 00:17:11
    but just so you can get a sense of what
  • 00:17:12
    this student's been up to you don't have
  • 00:17:14
    to list all 10 activities it's totally
  • 00:17:16
    fine to list five or six in fact the
  • 00:17:18
    average student probably does that but
  • 00:17:20
    you'll also see some nice range she's
  • 00:17:22
    got some photography that she's done she
  • 00:17:24
    has a summer program that she
  • 00:17:26
    participated in you know and it's fine
  • 00:17:28
    to list you know she's applying to
  • 00:17:29
    Columbia but she listed that she went to
  • 00:17:30
    another school it's totally fine you
  • 00:17:33
    don't have to have these on your resume
  • 00:17:34
    none of these are like must do there's
  • 00:17:36
    no such thing it's like a must do to get
  • 00:17:37
    into college but sometimes students ask
  • 00:17:40
    can I list a summer program and it's
  • 00:17:41
    like yes that is that counts as an
  • 00:17:43
    activity tell us what you did you know
  • 00:17:45
    in this case she invested investigated
  • 00:17:47
    social and cultural issues reflected in
  • 00:17:49
    global art developed a Capstone project
  • 00:17:52
    on cultural perceptions of Home notice
  • 00:17:54
    the theme your application does not have
  • 00:17:56
    to have a theme by the way it can
  • 00:17:57
    totally be just different things that
  • 00:17:59
    you're interested in doing this just
  • 00:18:01
    happened to have a a nice
  • 00:18:04
    tie-in your activities list is your brag
  • 00:18:07
    sheet it's where you put all the things
  • 00:18:09
    that you've done let it be your adoring
  • 00:18:11
    parent or teacher who just is like and
  • 00:18:14
    then they did this and then they did
  • 00:18:15
    this and they did this brag here in as
  • 00:18:17
    succinct way as you can so that you can
  • 00:18:20
    be a little more personal here you can
  • 00:18:22
    kind of I like to say show up in jeans
  • 00:18:24
    in your personal
  • 00:18:26
    statement your additional information
  • 00:18:28
    section is an opportunity to discuss
  • 00:18:30
    extenuating circumstances so to
  • 00:18:33
    explain or to expand on things that you
  • 00:18:36
    feel like aren't getting enough air time
  • 00:18:38
    so for example Global Studies she's
  • 00:18:40
    explaining what that is if I were to
  • 00:18:41
    read Global Studies I might be like what
  • 00:18:43
    is that on your transcript well this was
  • 00:18:46
    an opportunity for her to participate in
  • 00:18:47
    all these different kinds of classes in
  • 00:18:48
    ninth and 10th grade and then as a
  • 00:18:50
    result they organized a showcase and
  • 00:18:52
    there was nowhere else really on her
  • 00:18:54
    application that she could talk about
  • 00:18:55
    that so she's like I'm just going to put
  • 00:18:57
    a few bullet points in here doesn't not
  • 00:18:58
    to take up a ton of space in fact it's
  • 00:19:00
    76 words but boom now I understand what
  • 00:19:02
    Global Studies is and
  • 00:19:04
    means um she she won some other Awards
  • 00:19:07
    so she list those here that's an
  • 00:19:10
    expansion food blog here's another
  • 00:19:12
    expansion she didn't have room to put
  • 00:19:13
    this in her activities list so she says
  • 00:19:15
    she's posted 50 entries she's got 300
  • 00:19:18
    followers and a few articles had 2,000
  • 00:19:20
    plus readers great putting those numbers
  • 00:19:22
    in gives us some impact that's an
  • 00:19:25
    expand another explain she says you know
  • 00:19:27
    she had a family situ situation her
  • 00:19:29
    mother's stage four Endo endometrial
  • 00:19:31
    cancer impacted her family significantly
  • 00:19:34
    and since neither of her parents
  • 00:19:35
    experienced any formal us education she
  • 00:19:37
    navigated her academics on her own um
  • 00:19:39
    and that's great I mean not great I mean
  • 00:19:42
    in terms of like on a human level but
  • 00:19:43
    it's it's it's enough to give some
  • 00:19:45
    mention to some of the challenges that
  • 00:19:47
    she went through and what she did to
  • 00:19:49
    overcome them including you know
  • 00:19:50
    navigating academics on her own um
  • 00:19:53
    another thing that was worth explaining
  • 00:19:55
    was she didn't want to be well her
  • 00:19:57
    school canceled all of her courses so
  • 00:19:59
    what she did is she had to self-study
  • 00:20:01
    certain courses and take the exam on her
  • 00:20:03
    own U and if that's true in your
  • 00:20:06
    situation this is the place to explain
  • 00:20:07
    it now I know a bunch of questions are
  • 00:20:09
    going to come in and Rene is probably
  • 00:20:10
    gonna be really busy here in a minute
  • 00:20:11
    with like can I put this and can I put
  • 00:20:13
    this um and hopefully Rene can get to
  • 00:20:15
    your question if not join me on the
  • 00:20:18
    course and I'll that's usually one of
  • 00:20:19
    the busiest days that we have okay
  • 00:20:23
    supplemental essays now these are not
  • 00:20:25
    this year's prompts these are last
  • 00:20:27
    time's prompts because they've shortened
  • 00:20:28
    essay but let me show you a lot of
  • 00:20:30
    schools have what's called a y us essay
  • 00:20:31
    particularly selective schools and they
  • 00:20:34
    essentially ask why do you want to
  • 00:20:35
    attend our College University now many
  • 00:20:39
    colleges now ask a slightly different
  • 00:20:41
    version of it and they ask what are the
  • 00:20:43
    skills qualities values you're going to
  • 00:20:44
    bring to our community and fortunately
  • 00:20:47
    she kind of already did that so this
  • 00:20:48
    works for those you know um it still
  • 00:20:51
    will give you an idea of what goes in
  • 00:20:52
    these essays but one of the things I
  • 00:20:54
    want you to look at as you just scan
  • 00:20:55
    this essay is notice the capital letters
  • 00:20:59
    that are appearing in her essay if I see
  • 00:21:01
    capital letters in a Ys essay I know a
  • 00:21:03
    student's done their research so you can
  • 00:21:05
    see names of courses for example and
  • 00:21:08
    names of
  • 00:21:09
    professors um I'm not going to read
  • 00:21:11
    through the whole thing here but I want
  • 00:21:12
    to point out a couple things that the
  • 00:21:13
    student's doing well she says I want to
  • 00:21:16
    see feel and understand Humanity across
  • 00:21:18
    cultures awesome that's like a a
  • 00:21:20
    personal mission statement at Columbia
  • 00:21:23
    I'd focus on art history while exploring
  • 00:21:24
    Urban studies and social justice now she
  • 00:21:26
    could very well change her major
  • 00:21:29
    and I haven't talked to her in a couple
  • 00:21:30
    years it's been maybe a year and a half
  • 00:21:32
    I don't know if she actually did change
  • 00:21:33
    her major but I wouldn't be surprised um
  • 00:21:36
    because so many students Chang their
  • 00:21:37
    major but what she's doing in this is
  • 00:21:39
    she's making an argument in this essay
  • 00:21:41
    for why these would be a great fit for
  • 00:21:43
    her she says I believe obtaining a
  • 00:21:45
    broader vision of different populations
  • 00:21:47
    through Art Is Fundamental to
  • 00:21:49
    understanding humanity and can lend
  • 00:21:51
    insights into Global issues Colombia
  • 00:21:54
    with its unparalleled interactions with
  • 00:21:56
    the Arts and cultures of n NYC in the
  • 00:21:58
    globe would enable me to do exactly that
  • 00:22:01
    now friend of a friend told me Columbia
  • 00:22:04
    really likes you to mention New York in
  • 00:22:05
    fact um I think other New York schools
  • 00:22:08
    do too and so I I recommend if you're
  • 00:22:09
    applying to somewhere in New York City
  • 00:22:11
    and you're not mentioning something
  • 00:22:12
    related to the city they might wonder H
  • 00:22:15
    is this student really prepared for New
  • 00:22:16
    York City life because as someone who
  • 00:22:18
    used to live 20 blocks from New York
  • 00:22:19
    City and sorry from from Colombia it's a
  • 00:22:22
    it's a particular flavor it's a
  • 00:22:24
    particular experience and
  • 00:22:25
    so somewhere include New York City at
  • 00:22:28
    least a mention I would say if you're
  • 00:22:29
    applying to Columbia you know NYU anyway
  • 00:22:32
    you know the the New York City Schools
  • 00:22:34
    um having produced a research paper on
  • 00:22:36
    street art in New York City and curated
  • 00:22:38
    a Columbia mural Art EX exhibit uh I'd
  • 00:22:41
    be excited to see firsthand the
  • 00:22:42
    connections between creative individuals
  • 00:22:43
    and their surroundings by attending
  • 00:22:45
    latinx artist Coast to Coast learning
  • 00:22:48
    from this particular Professor an
  • 00:22:49
    activist and curator I delve into how
  • 00:22:51
    art encourages marginalized groups
  • 00:22:53
    self-expression and activist efforts
  • 00:22:55
    okay this is a beautiful yssa 10 one
  • 00:22:59
    what are we doing here here's a thing
  • 00:23:00
    that I did and I loved it and I got a
  • 00:23:03
    lot out of it and I hope to do similar
  • 00:23:05
    work in this particular way in this
  • 00:23:07
    course or with this professor and if
  • 00:23:09
    possible and here's the particular thing
  • 00:23:11
    that I'd like to
  • 00:23:12
    explore and if you do that several times
  • 00:23:14
    in your Ys you're in good shape okay so
  • 00:23:19
    again I'm not going to go through all of
  • 00:23:20
    these but I think that's something to
  • 00:23:22
    just keep in mind uh remember I'm not
  • 00:23:24
    going to be sharing these examples out
  • 00:23:25
    by the way so if you want to you look at
  • 00:23:28
    this you watch the recording later
  • 00:23:31
    um Columbia also used to have a y major
  • 00:23:34
    essay and the simple version of this is
  • 00:23:37
    I want to see a little Montage of what
  • 00:23:38
    are the moments that have led you to
  • 00:23:40
    discovering ah this is the thing that I
  • 00:23:42
    want to do now ideally it's not all
  • 00:23:44
    stuff that you did as a child prodigy
  • 00:23:46
    you know when you picked up Lego for the
  • 00:23:48
    first time and you were like loving to
  • 00:23:50
    build things with your hands by the way
  • 00:23:51
    Lego is a pretty common Trope so try to
  • 00:23:54
    avoid it especially if you're an
  • 00:23:55
    engineer or just mention it very very
  • 00:23:56
    briefly but what I love about about this
  • 00:23:59
    is that she focuses mostly on high
  • 00:24:01
    school stuff so sophomore Summer she did
  • 00:24:03
    this junior year she did this last
  • 00:24:06
    summer she did this whole other thing so
  • 00:24:08
    we see these experiences that she's had
  • 00:24:10
    in in you know in her high school years
  • 00:24:12
    that have really prepared her for this
  • 00:24:13
    particular major in this case art
  • 00:24:16
    history um I think that's all I want to
  • 00:24:19
    say there was there were other like
  • 00:24:20
    short answers but you know Columbia
  • 00:24:22
    asked you to talk about the books you've
  • 00:24:23
    read and the um and the uh you know what
  • 00:24:26
    are the whatchamacallit what are the the
  • 00:24:29
    sources of media that you consume and
  • 00:24:30
    I'd say for those my tips are just you
  • 00:24:32
    know be honest and be thorough so don't
  • 00:24:34
    leave a lot you know on the on the
  • 00:24:35
    Cutting Room floor as it were
  • 00:24:38
    okay so that's part one and that took me
  • 00:24:41
    about 20 minutes which I expected to
  • 00:24:42
    great um and along the way I just want
  • 00:24:45
    to recap two of the qualities that I
  • 00:24:46
    mentioned I think I mentioned three
  • 00:24:47
    actually that College admission officers
  • 00:24:49
    are looking for number one intellectual
  • 00:24:50
    curiosity and you can see it throughout
  • 00:24:52
    her application from the stuff that
  • 00:24:54
    she's been exploring in her personal
  • 00:24:55
    statement to her activities list the
  • 00:24:57
    things she's been involved with to her
  • 00:24:59
    supplemental essays where she talks a
  • 00:25:00
    little bit more about some of the
  • 00:25:01
    projects that she's gotten into the
  • 00:25:04
    second one that I mention is initiative
  • 00:25:05
    we see her getting involved in stuff
  • 00:25:07
    this isn't somebody who just sat back
  • 00:25:08
    with her questions she's like working
  • 00:25:10
    actively to explore them to pursue them
  • 00:25:12
    awesome the third one um is something
  • 00:25:15
    like you can call this one collaboration
  • 00:25:18
    you could also call this one helping
  • 00:25:19
    others because I see both of those in
  • 00:25:20
    this application and you could argue
  • 00:25:22
    that those are the same or different but
  • 00:25:23
    I see her working with others through
  • 00:25:25
    some of the ways that she's describing
  • 00:25:27
    her activities um and I also see her
  • 00:25:30
    helping others you know she's you know
  • 00:25:32
    working with younger dancers for example
  • 00:25:35
    um you know so there's you know that in
  • 00:25:37
    Spades and and then also through some of
  • 00:25:39
    the activities that she's been involved
  • 00:25:40
    with which are like centered on building
  • 00:25:43
    Community um so I'll you know I'm happy
  • 00:25:46
    to take questions about that application
  • 00:25:47
    if you want at the end um but let me I
  • 00:25:49
    want to shift to talking a little bit
  • 00:25:51
    about if you don't have something as
  • 00:25:53
    sort of specific and Niche to write
  • 00:25:54
    about what if you're working with a
  • 00:25:55
    common topic as this next student was
  • 00:25:58
    how do you stand out well I've often uh
  • 00:26:02
    said that if you have a if you want a
  • 00:26:04
    boring essay choose a common topic AKA
  • 00:26:09
    soccer make common connections you know
  • 00:26:12
    soccer has taught me discipline hard
  • 00:26:13
    work and perseverance and then use
  • 00:26:16
    common language so common language in a
  • 00:26:19
    soccer essay might be like you know
  • 00:26:20
    Teamwork Makes the Dream work or you
  • 00:26:22
    know some version of that but if you're
  • 00:26:25
    hoping to stand out with your with your
  • 00:26:27
    personal statement
  • 00:26:28
    if possible choose an uncommon topic
  • 00:26:31
    okay now in this case the exess we
  • 00:26:33
    looked at was an example of an uncommon
  • 00:26:35
    topic it's the search for home but you
  • 00:26:37
    could argue it was a common topic of
  • 00:26:38
    someone who well in some ways felt like
  • 00:26:41
    she was between cultures and it was
  • 00:26:42
    about finding meaning and belonging but
  • 00:26:45
    it's the way that she achieved that
  • 00:26:46
    she's making some un unex she's making
  • 00:26:49
    some unexpected connections connecting
  • 00:26:50
    to values we might not expect and
  • 00:26:53
    there's lots of language that's uncommon
  • 00:26:54
    in other words she's writing sentences
  • 00:26:57
    that are particular to her nobody else
  • 00:26:58
    could have written some of those
  • 00:26:59
    sentences in fact most of
  • 00:27:02
    them but what if you are writing about
  • 00:27:04
    soccer by the way I don't recommend it
  • 00:27:06
    but if you are here's an example of a
  • 00:27:09
    really good soccer essay and I'm just
  • 00:27:11
    going to read the first couple
  • 00:27:12
    paragraphs here just for the sake of
  • 00:27:14
    time my room is by far the most worn
  • 00:27:17
    down in my house what this is a soccer
  • 00:27:19
    essay yeah stay with me broken plastic
  • 00:27:22
    trophies from my youth scuff marks on
  • 00:27:25
    the freshly painted walls and chipped
  • 00:27:26
    blinds that hang by a threat
  • 00:27:28
    no I don't have anger issues I just
  • 00:27:30
    always have a soccer ball glued to my
  • 00:27:32
    feet but my obsession with soccer hasn't
  • 00:27:35
    only resulted in a messy room it's also
  • 00:27:37
    led me down many valuable and fulfilling
  • 00:27:39
    paths okay he's doing that thing he's
  • 00:27:42
    raising a question here okay well how is
  • 00:27:45
    it that soccer has led you down many
  • 00:27:46
    valuable and fulfilling paths what are
  • 00:27:48
    they tell me more here we go my interest
  • 00:27:51
    in geography
  • 00:27:53
    what uh sprouted for my curiosity about
  • 00:27:55
    the location of soccer teams around the
  • 00:27:57
    world now this is an example to me of an
  • 00:28:00
    uncommon connection because never before
  • 00:28:03
    have I read a soccer essay that talks
  • 00:28:06
    about a love of geography and an
  • 00:28:07
    interest in geography but sure enough
  • 00:28:10
    here it
  • 00:28:11
    is from Germany and France fighting at
  • 00:28:13
    each other's throats to Yugoslavia
  • 00:28:15
    splitting up into five nations including
  • 00:28:16
    Sumit War geography is so much more to
  • 00:28:19
    me than countries on a map when I spend
  • 00:28:21
    hours taking geography quizes online I'm
  • 00:28:24
    not just learning where countries are in
  • 00:28:25
    relation to one another I'm also gaining
  • 00:28:27
    the contextual background I need to
  • 00:28:29
    pursue deeper historical questions oo
  • 00:28:33
    Insight okay so here's what's working
  • 00:28:35
    well an unexpected connection AKA a
  • 00:28:38
    value we didn't see
  • 00:28:39
    coming some details about how you've
  • 00:28:42
    explored that in this case this
  • 00:28:44
    connections between geography and then
  • 00:28:46
    connecting it to history but then
  • 00:28:49
    there's an Insight the student says I'm
  • 00:28:51
    not just learning where countries are in
  • 00:28:52
    relationship to one another in relation
  • 00:28:54
    to one another I'm gaining the
  • 00:28:56
    contextual background any need to pursue
  • 00:28:57
    deeper historic questions now if there
  • 00:28:59
    was more room the student might go into
  • 00:29:01
    detail about what are some of those
  • 00:29:02
    deeper historical questions but already
  • 00:29:05
    the students going beyond the soccer
  • 00:29:07
    taught me about discipline hard work and
  • 00:29:09
    perseverance and I'm learning about this
  • 00:29:10
    other dimension of
  • 00:29:13
    them I think a great topic for your
  • 00:29:16
    personal statement is one that is
  • 00:29:17
    elastic which is to say stretchy enough
  • 00:29:20
    to talk about different sides of you in
  • 00:29:22
    this case for example the love of
  • 00:29:25
    geography watching soccer fans from
  • 00:29:27
    other countries open I to their
  • 00:29:28
    contrasting cultures here's the new
  • 00:29:31
    value whether it's the cheers they chant
  • 00:29:33
    or how they celebrate a win but for me
  • 00:29:35
    it's much more personal living in the US
  • 00:29:37
    I haven't always felt connected to my
  • 00:29:39
    Indian Heritage okay common theme
  • 00:29:41
    connect this one to the last essay
  • 00:29:43
    however when I traveled to India not
  • 00:29:44
    only did I see soccer being played
  • 00:29:45
    Barefoot in the poorest streets of
  • 00:29:47
    Kolkata I also explored my background
  • 00:29:49
    and met family members I'd only heard
  • 00:29:50
    stories about I tasted homemade foods
  • 00:29:53
    like Luchi that my Tom andu grew up
  • 00:29:55
    eating and I witnessed unfamiliar
  • 00:29:57
    Customs my Rel take part in like eating
  • 00:29:59
    with their hands soccer brought me to
  • 00:30:01
    the realization that I've been missing
  • 00:30:02
    an important connection to myself one I
  • 00:30:05
    look forward to exploring now this is a
  • 00:30:08
    great example of not only an Insight
  • 00:30:10
    which is like and by an Insight I mean
  • 00:30:12
    like give me something that I wouldn't
  • 00:30:13
    know from Reading elsewhere in your
  • 00:30:14
    application like I don't know that
  • 00:30:16
    you're missing this important connection
  • 00:30:17
    to yourself I appreciate knowing that
  • 00:30:19
    you know and then there's also a little
  • 00:30:22
    vulnerability here this student isn't
  • 00:30:25
    showing up as like you know I'm fully
  • 00:30:26
    made and done this student like yeah
  • 00:30:28
    there's like parts of myself that I'm
  • 00:30:30
    interested in exploring and what this
  • 00:30:31
    shows to me is not like you know I think
  • 00:30:34
    one some student might be self-conscious
  • 00:30:36
    that they don't feel more or or Shame
  • 00:30:37
    about being being not more connected to
  • 00:30:39
    their their culture but actually what I
  • 00:30:41
    see here is curiosity and openness and
  • 00:30:43
    so those are like values that are coming
  • 00:30:45
    through here so far this soccer essay
  • 00:30:47
    has explored geography and cultures
  • 00:30:51
    stoked and we'll do one more a score
  • 00:30:54
    line can often be misleading just
  • 00:30:55
    because because a team one doesn't mean
  • 00:30:56
    they're the better team
  • 00:30:59
    statistics such as possession percentage
  • 00:31:01
    shots on goal and passes completed are
  • 00:31:04
    key indicators of a team's dominance so
  • 00:31:05
    now we're talking about soccer and
  • 00:31:07
    numbers when soccer revealed how much I
  • 00:31:09
    enjoyed data analysis I sought out other
  • 00:31:12
    complex subjects you see how this is
  • 00:31:14
    each this topic is basically just an
  • 00:31:15
    off-ramp to talking about different
  • 00:31:17
    things that students interested
  • 00:31:19
    in statistics you know AP CM AP Physics
  • 00:31:22
    I came to realize I'm an analytical
  • 00:31:23
    person and that I subconsciously use
  • 00:31:25
    data to inform my daily life for example
  • 00:31:29
    I often find myself predicting outcomes
  • 00:31:30
    from phosphate concentrations to score
  • 00:31:32
    lines now phosphate concentrations is
  • 00:31:35
    another example of intellectual
  • 00:31:36
    curiosity and you know what I call geeky
  • 00:31:39
    language so I love this as an example of
  • 00:31:41
    just little little you know hints of
  • 00:31:44
    like stuff that I you know nerd out
  • 00:31:46
    about but I've also learned there can be
  • 00:31:48
    unexpected variables like the power
  • 00:31:50
    outage in the Super Bowl or unseen
  • 00:31:52
    residue on tools that can lead to
  • 00:31:53
    alternate results when I make a wrong
  • 00:31:55
    prediction it teaches me there always or
  • 00:31:58
    if You' like often un unforeseen factors
  • 00:32:01
    just like on a soccer pitch so here
  • 00:32:03
    again the student is coming in with a
  • 00:32:05
    little insight that helps land the plane
  • 00:32:07
    and by land the plane I mean like
  • 00:32:08
    there's something here that's like that
  • 00:32:09
    aners so what so what can you learn from
  • 00:32:12
    this first of all I want to encourage
  • 00:32:14
    you especially if you're choosing a
  • 00:32:16
    common topic to explore making uncommon
  • 00:32:19
    connections which is to say brainstorm
  • 00:32:22
    values that we might not expect so I'm
  • 00:32:24
    just going to Google values exercise and
  • 00:32:26
    I'll share this in the chat
  • 00:32:28
    uh if you've been to one of my webinars
  • 00:32:30
    before you've probably seen me talk
  • 00:32:31
    about this but um with this values
  • 00:32:34
    exercise simply put what you can do is
  • 00:32:37
    brainstorm the values that you think
  • 00:32:39
    might be obvious from your topic so in
  • 00:32:43
    soccer what are some of the obvious ones
  • 00:32:45
    here you know um you know something like
  • 00:32:49
    leadership I'm the one on the team who
  • 00:32:51
    likes to call the shots and tell people
  • 00:32:52
    where to go um you know I mentioned some
  • 00:32:55
    others discipline or finding you know uh
  • 00:32:58
    balance because I spend a lot of time
  • 00:32:59
    playing soccer but I have to also
  • 00:33:00
    balance it with school work that's a
  • 00:33:02
    somewhat common
  • 00:33:03
    Trope I want to know what is soccer
  • 00:33:05
    taught you about I don't know purpose or
  • 00:33:09
    what do soccer taught you about the
  • 00:33:10
    importance of ritual and how does ritual
  • 00:33:11
    show up in your life because I hold that
  • 00:33:14
    your topic the thing you're writing
  • 00:33:16
    about isn't exactly isn't really your
  • 00:33:18
    topic you are your topic you are the
  • 00:33:21
    thing you're writing
  • 00:33:22
    about your topic quote unquote is just
  • 00:33:25
    really an excuse to to share all of
  • 00:33:28
    these different beautiful you know
  • 00:33:30
    specific sides of yourself so it's kind
  • 00:33:33
    of like the topic is you it's how you
  • 00:33:35
    have manifested your skills your
  • 00:33:37
    qualities your
  • 00:33:38
    values um and in some cases if you can
  • 00:33:41
    find some common theme then you can not
  • 00:33:43
    focus on the theme so make 10% of your
  • 00:33:45
    essay soccer make 90% about the skills
  • 00:33:48
    qualities values you're going to bring
  • 00:33:49
    to a college campus so if you've already
  • 00:33:52
    written a draft ask yourself how much of
  • 00:33:53
    my essay is about the topic and how much
  • 00:33:56
    is in topic quotes because again you're
  • 00:33:58
    the topic and how much of it is
  • 00:34:01
    currently about the skills qualities
  • 00:34:03
    values I'm going to bring to the campus
  • 00:34:04
    community and you can you can do that in
  • 00:34:07
    green or yellow right now you know Green
  • 00:34:08
    for the stuff that's talking about
  • 00:34:10
    skills qualities values and then yellow
  • 00:34:11
    for the parts that are kind of setting
  • 00:34:13
    that up or just talking about something
  • 00:34:14
    that maybe isn't giving us a clear sense
  • 00:34:16
    of
  • 00:34:17
    that okay again I'll welcome questions
  • 00:34:20
    at the end
  • 00:34:22
    here let me give you some tips on the
  • 00:34:24
    activities list and I'm going to give
  • 00:34:26
    this through a blog post that I've put
  • 00:34:28
    out that I think will be helpful and
  • 00:34:31
    I'll put this in the chat as
  • 00:34:33
    well here we go so when it comes to
  • 00:34:36
    writing your activities list there are
  • 00:34:38
    three different exercises that I want to
  • 00:34:40
    recommend
  • 00:34:41
    um I'm sorry my last link I the values
  • 00:34:45
    exercise I sent it only to host and
  • 00:34:47
    panelists so let me just I'll share both
  • 00:34:49
    of the Links at once okay here we go so
  • 00:34:52
    this extracurricular activities guide um
  • 00:34:54
    is I think pretty helpful and it's got
  • 00:34:58
    there's a YouTube video on this where I
  • 00:34:59
    walk through this specifically but the
  • 00:35:01
    three main things you can check out the
  • 00:35:03
    video if you want look at that I'm
  • 00:35:04
    wearing the same shirt I looks like I
  • 00:35:05
    only have one shirt longer beard too uh
  • 00:35:09
    better verbs and I've got a little guide
  • 00:35:11
    in here that's got some better verbs um
  • 00:35:14
    more content which is to say I've got a
  • 00:35:17
    set of questions that you can ask
  • 00:35:18
    yourself that are going to help you to
  • 00:35:19
    think through what else did you do what
  • 00:35:22
    were your other responsibilities the
  • 00:35:24
    other things that you've you know spent
  • 00:35:25
    some time thinking about sorry
  • 00:35:28
    popups um what are some other things you
  • 00:35:30
    spent some time developing thinking
  • 00:35:32
    about like what were your
  • 00:35:34
    responsibilities when you were involved
  • 00:35:35
    with whatever you're involved with and
  • 00:35:38
    then skills and values like this is what
  • 00:35:40
    colleges are looking for again who are
  • 00:35:42
    you I've said this three times already
  • 00:35:43
    but who are you going to be on the
  • 00:35:44
    college campus um and there's a way that
  • 00:35:46
    you can do that I have something called
  • 00:35:47
    a value scan that will allow you to sort
  • 00:35:49
    of do the X-ray analysis of your
  • 00:35:51
    descriptions once you've written them
  • 00:35:54
    okay so there's a full guide here with
  • 00:35:56
    lots of different stepbystep step um and
  • 00:35:58
    I hope you'll find it
  • 00:36:00
    useful the other one so I'm just
  • 00:36:02
    literally Googling myself College s
  • 00:36:04
    additional info College SE guy and I'm
  • 00:36:06
    doing that live here with you because I
  • 00:36:07
    want to show you that a lot of these
  • 00:36:08
    resources if you Google the thing you're
  • 00:36:10
    looking for in college SE guy there's
  • 00:36:11
    probably something that I've written on
  • 00:36:13
    it but for the additional information
  • 00:36:16
    section you'll see the section that
  • 00:36:18
    basically says is there anything else
  • 00:36:20
    you want to share with us you click yes
  • 00:36:22
    and then you've got 650 words here okay
  • 00:36:25
    and in these 650 words this is where
  • 00:36:27
    you're either expanding or explaining if
  • 00:36:29
    you like okay so what do you put in here
  • 00:36:33
    there are a bunch of different things a
  • 00:36:34
    bunch of different examples of this but
  • 00:36:36
    this is an example of expanding so if
  • 00:36:38
    there's a particular activity that
  • 00:36:39
    wouldn't fit in your activities list
  • 00:36:41
    great expand selectively you don't need
  • 00:36:44
    to put everything in there um you can be
  • 00:36:47
    brief focus on the specifics focus on
  • 00:36:50
    impact and then don't worry about
  • 00:36:52
    special formatting you can just do like
  • 00:36:54
    a little hyphen and then write the thing
  • 00:36:56
    um
  • 00:36:58
    what else what else um what do we let's
  • 00:37:00
    see oh yeah this is me and Tom on a
  • 00:37:01
    different session walking through this
  • 00:37:03
    so anyway I won't go through all that
  • 00:37:05
    because you can basically Google it and
  • 00:37:07
    and walk through it but again additional
  • 00:37:09
    info section for expanding and
  • 00:37:11
    explaining expanding on and explaining
  • 00:37:13
    anything that you feel like is going to
  • 00:37:15
    be and you know we've got I'll put the
  • 00:37:17
    maybe Diana you could put the additional
  • 00:37:18
    info Link in the chat
  • 00:37:21
    um and you'll find lots of examples
  • 00:37:23
    there okay we're going to shift to Q&A
  • 00:37:27
    and I know that we've had Q&A the whole
  • 00:37:28
    time but thanks fene um hope you're
  • 00:37:30
    holding up um but let me just tell you a
  • 00:37:33
    little bit about I want to show you just
  • 00:37:34
    briefly for a couple minutes about these
  • 00:37:37
    two courses that I'm leading because I'm
  • 00:37:39
    pretty excited about them and I think
  • 00:37:40
    they're they're really good um and I'd
  • 00:37:42
    love to hang out with y'all more so um
  • 00:37:44
    let me walk you through each of these
  • 00:37:46
    and I'm just bringing up the link um and
  • 00:37:48
    I'll maybe Diana if you wouldn't mind
  • 00:37:49
    just throwing in the link so that folks
  • 00:37:50
    can see what this ISS so uh essentially
  • 00:37:53
    the the purpose of this course is I
  • 00:37:55
    wanted to work with more students than
  • 00:37:57
    just the small number of students that I
  • 00:37:58
    work with or that my team and I work
  • 00:38:00
    with each year and the question was how
  • 00:38:02
    do I do that in a bigger way for
  • 00:38:04
    something that's coste effective um and
  • 00:38:06
    from the student side it's for you who
  • 00:38:08
    are trying to figure out what do I
  • 00:38:09
    figure out how do I know what to write
  • 00:38:10
    about how do I know that it's like a
  • 00:38:12
    quote unquote good topic that's going to
  • 00:38:13
    help you stand out you know how do I
  • 00:38:15
    know how to revise like what are the
  • 00:38:17
    specific exercises that I use to revise
  • 00:38:20
    especially if I don't have somebody
  • 00:38:21
    who's like you know helping me through
  • 00:38:22
    this process um you know and then how do
  • 00:38:25
    you know when you're done that's some of
  • 00:38:26
    the other something else we talk about
  • 00:38:28
    so what it is is it's a live course that
  • 00:38:30
    I lead just like this 90minut sessions
  • 00:38:33
    we have four of them and um you'll see
  • 00:38:35
    you know we answer up whole bunch of
  • 00:38:37
    questions from the specifics of
  • 00:38:39
    structure how do you weave your
  • 00:38:40
    achievements so it doesn't sound like
  • 00:38:42
    you're bragging um what should you not
  • 00:38:44
    write about and essentially the sessions
  • 00:38:47
    are we've got 11th and 18th and then
  • 00:38:49
    October 2nd and 9th so it's coming up in
  • 00:38:51
    about a month um focus the focus for for
  • 00:38:54
    session one is brainstorming so what
  • 00:38:56
    we're doing in that session is basic
  • 00:38:57
    basically I'm giving you a bunch of
  • 00:38:58
    different exercises for thinking about
  • 00:39:00
    your topics um and throughout the course
  • 00:39:03
    what I do is I have this thing called
  • 00:39:04
    the Choose Your Own Adventure essay tool
  • 00:39:06
    where each day is devoted to a different
  • 00:39:09
    um each week essentially is devoted to a
  • 00:39:10
    different topic so brainstorming is week
  • 00:39:12
    one we do outlining and writing in week
  • 00:39:14
    two revising is week three and then
  • 00:39:16
    refining is week four and this tool here
  • 00:39:19
    has tons of different essay examples
  • 00:39:21
    just like a bunch that you can check out
  • 00:39:24
    that are connected to different styles
  • 00:39:26
    of essay so you'll have at least at
  • 00:39:27
    least eight different options for
  • 00:39:28
    different kinds of essays that you can
  • 00:39:29
    write and these eight different kinds of
  • 00:39:31
    essays are really malleable in other
  • 00:39:33
    words they can become lots of different
  • 00:39:35
    pieces um you'll see if you want on the
  • 00:39:37
    page there's some like nice stuff that
  • 00:39:39
    people have um have said about the
  • 00:39:40
    course um but it's it's pretty
  • 00:39:43
    comprehensive and my goal here is that
  • 00:39:45
    by the end of this month which is to say
  • 00:39:48
    ear early to mid October before early uh
  • 00:39:51
    essays are due but you've got an essay
  • 00:39:52
    that you feel really a personal
  • 00:39:53
    statement that you feel really excited
  • 00:39:54
    about and um and then if you're like
  • 00:39:58
    okay I feel like I've got a personal
  • 00:39:59
    statement and because it's not just
  • 00:40:01
    about the personal statement we segue
  • 00:40:04
    right after actually we run these
  • 00:40:05
    concurrently in the in the summer when
  • 00:40:06
    we do the summer version we do the
  • 00:40:07
    personal statement first and then we do
  • 00:40:09
    supplemental essays but what we do for
  • 00:40:11
    the fall is essentially we lead the
  • 00:40:13
    personal statement course right next to
  • 00:40:15
    the supplemental essays course so what
  • 00:40:17
    this helps you work on is when you're
  • 00:40:18
    trying to figure out how do I up level
  • 00:40:20
    that activities list and make sure that
  • 00:40:21
    it's really awesome how do I even know
  • 00:40:23
    which topics to put in my personal
  • 00:40:25
    statement versus in my supplemental
  • 00:40:27
    essays how do I work on those
  • 00:40:29
    supplements you know they were all
  • 00:40:30
    released about a week ago how do I know
  • 00:40:32
    you know how do I use how do I find
  • 00:40:34
    topics that essentially will work for
  • 00:40:36
    lots of different prompts that's one of
  • 00:40:37
    the things we focus on early is how do
  • 00:40:39
    you write what I call Super essays which
  • 00:40:41
    is essays that will work for lots of
  • 00:40:42
    different prompts so we'll talk about
  • 00:40:44
    structure we'll basically we cover
  • 00:40:46
    pretty much all of the major essays the
  • 00:40:48
    Y us the Y major the diversity essay the
  • 00:40:51
    community essay um and lots more and I
  • 00:40:53
    kind of open it up to you know really
  • 00:40:56
    any essays that you want to focus on I
  • 00:40:58
    do lots of live review again the session
  • 00:41:01
    if you sign up for the first one you get
  • 00:41:02
    50% off the second one um so yeah
  • 00:41:06
    commercial over uh and then if you're
  • 00:41:08
    like yeah I I I'm I'm interested in
  • 00:41:10
    one-on-one support we do that too um if
  • 00:41:13
    you're interested in that
  • 00:41:15
    okay 44 pass the hour perfect let's
  • 00:41:18
    shift a Q&A um I know Renee has been
  • 00:41:21
    actually well let's put that can we put
  • 00:41:23
    the other Link in um Diana for the
  • 00:41:26
    second course that would be super
  • 00:41:28
    awesome actually I think I have it right
  • 00:41:30
    here and I'll also put in the link for
  • 00:41:34
    folks who are interested in oneon-one a
  • 00:41:37
    beat
  • 00:41:39
    you will you let for folks who are
  • 00:41:41
    interested in in one-on-one will you
  • 00:41:42
    throw that link in as well that would be
  • 00:41:44
    super awesome actually I have it
  • 00:41:46
    here um I think I'm gonna beat you on
  • 00:41:48
    this one yep I am okay
  • 00:41:51
    cool right I'm totally coming for your
  • 00:41:53
    job all right um so
  • 00:41:57
    um pausing for just a minute because
  • 00:41:59
    actually for some folks they're like I
  • 00:42:02
    need time to think of questions so let
  • 00:42:04
    me literally have like 30 seconds of air
  • 00:42:06
    silence air Silence of Silence of radio
  • 00:42:09
    silence is what I meant to say that's it
  • 00:42:11
    so that you can think of questions and
  • 00:42:13
    then I'm going to let you put them into
  • 00:42:14
    the chat um and some of you are like
  • 00:42:17
    looking at the course pages so I'll just
  • 00:42:18
    pause for half a minute
  • 00:42:45
    lovely questions coming
  • 00:42:47
    in I'm not going to be able to answer
  • 00:42:49
    all 110 but I'm going to get to as many
  • 00:42:51
    as I can
  • 00:43:00
    okay if Renee idea if you'll start at
  • 00:43:04
    the end with the most recent questions
  • 00:43:06
    so the ones that came in at like 46
  • 00:43:08
    minutes past the hour and go up I will
  • 00:43:10
    work from my way down and we'll see if
  • 00:43:12
    we can meet in the middle I can't
  • 00:43:13
    promise youall that we're going to get
  • 00:43:14
    to 110 but now 126 questions but we'll
  • 00:43:18
    get to as many as we can okay because I
  • 00:43:20
    love to do this I'm going to do this as
  • 00:43:22
    a kind of lightning round where rather
  • 00:43:24
    than answer like three questions in
  • 00:43:26
    depth I'm I'm going to try to get to
  • 00:43:27
    like as many as I can in like short
  • 00:43:30
    Snippets so I'm going to imagine that
  • 00:43:32
    you're firing these off to me quickly
  • 00:43:34
    and Diana what I'm GNA ask you to do if
  • 00:43:35
    you wouldn't mind is just hit answer
  • 00:43:37
    live once I've answered a question all
  • 00:43:39
    right here goes what's the best way to
  • 00:43:42
    start off a college essay if you Google
  • 00:43:44
    start college essay college essay guy
  • 00:43:46
    you'll see nine different ways to start
  • 00:43:48
    a college essay and it'll give you so
  • 00:43:50
    many cool ideas but the simple answer to
  • 00:43:52
    this is raise a question in our mind
  • 00:43:54
    that will Intrigue us for the entire 650
  • 00:43:56
    words
  • 00:43:58
    for supplemental essays do colleges
  • 00:44:00
    generally prefer storytelling or more
  • 00:44:02
    direct approach since the word counts
  • 00:44:03
    limited to 25300 words if it's 250 words
  • 00:44:06
    I would recommend more direct approach
  • 00:44:08
    if it's that short especially for the
  • 00:44:10
    University of California personal
  • 00:44:12
    Insight questions colleges want a little
  • 00:44:14
    more information than poetry they're
  • 00:44:16
    trying to determine what are those
  • 00:44:18
    qualities that will allow you to you
  • 00:44:20
    know what are those qualities that
  • 00:44:21
    you're going to be bringing onto your
  • 00:44:22
    college campus rather than are you a
  • 00:44:24
    good writer okay so I would lean more on
  • 00:44:26
    the informational direct approach if you
  • 00:44:28
    want to bring a little poetry great but
  • 00:44:30
    reside maybe more in here than way over
  • 00:44:33
    here how can I effectively balance
  • 00:44:36
    personal anecdotes with reflection and
  • 00:44:37
    Analysis in my essay uh this is going to
  • 00:44:40
    be like a really sort of broad answer
  • 00:44:42
    Francis but I would say give personal
  • 00:44:46
    anecdotes only in so much as they set up
  • 00:44:48
    skills qualities values they bring that
  • 00:44:50
    you bring to a college campus so if you
  • 00:44:51
    want a ratio one Parts setup and Story
  • 00:44:55
    three parts skills qualities values
  • 00:44:58
    you're going to bring so ideally all of
  • 00:45:00
    the things that you're writing about are
  • 00:45:01
    showing what are the skills and
  • 00:45:02
    qualities you're going to bring to a
  • 00:45:03
    college
  • 00:45:05
    campus um is it advisable to reference
  • 00:45:07
    another piece of writing in your essay
  • 00:45:09
    in order to bring up a point no it's
  • 00:45:10
    fine on my personal essay should I focus
  • 00:45:13
    on one story or should I bring in a
  • 00:45:15
    bunch of different aspects of my life
  • 00:45:16
    I'm a fan of going a little bit broader
  • 00:45:19
    three to five different sides of you I
  • 00:45:20
    think is nice if you do one story it
  • 00:45:23
    better be a really good story and you
  • 00:45:24
    better have a really amazing insight and
  • 00:45:26
    I find that's harder to do well so I'm a
  • 00:45:28
    fan of what I call the Montage approach
  • 00:45:29
    where you have a common theme but you're
  • 00:45:31
    showing different sides of yourself
  • 00:45:32
    don't have to do that but I find that
  • 00:45:34
    whatever you've gotten that one
  • 00:45:35
    paragraph that that whole essay can
  • 00:45:37
    probably be squished into a single
  • 00:45:39
    paragraph you can probably communicate
  • 00:45:41
    that more efficiently and you can
  • 00:45:43
    probably show other sides of
  • 00:45:45
    yourself how advisable is it to put
  • 00:45:47
    questions in the personal statement up
  • 00:45:48
    to you usually if there are questions I
  • 00:45:50
    want to know what are the specific
  • 00:45:52
    questions that you're interested in
  • 00:45:53
    exploring or that you have
  • 00:45:55
    explored how do you suggest Improv
  • 00:45:57
    specificity and creating those big
  • 00:45:58
    question intellectual curiosity moments
  • 00:46:00
    in your essay um brainstorm what are
  • 00:46:03
    some of the big questions that you're
  • 00:46:05
    interested in exploring and then maybe
  • 00:46:07
    weave them in I don't think I'm an
  • 00:46:09
    interesting story what should I do I'm
  • 00:46:10
    not sure what to write about how to take
  • 00:46:11
    my story make my story compelling join
  • 00:46:13
    me in a month on the course um I'd love
  • 00:46:15
    to have you if you want the free version
  • 00:46:17
    if you Google college essay guy go to
  • 00:46:20
    YouTube actually here there's a smash
  • 00:46:23
    that like button I feel like I have to
  • 00:46:24
    say that every time I talk about YouTube
  • 00:46:25
    but if you go to YouTube you go to the
  • 00:46:27
    college essay guy Channel college essay
  • 00:46:30
    guy seven types personal statement I'm
  • 00:46:32
    going to put this link in the chat if
  • 00:46:34
    you're looking to brainstorm new ideas
  • 00:46:36
    first of all or maybe you've never seen
  • 00:46:37
    it sorry do your boy a favor while
  • 00:46:40
    you're there hit me up with a quick
  • 00:46:42
    subscribe because we got fresh content
  • 00:46:44
    delivered on the weekly usually a couple
  • 00:46:46
    times a week but for those of you who
  • 00:46:48
    are interested in brainstorming
  • 00:46:49
    alternate topic ideas check out that
  • 00:46:51
    video that's the one that the video that
  • 00:46:53
    basically that's the content that starts
  • 00:46:55
    the course
  • 00:46:57
    I wanted to write a creative personal
  • 00:46:58
    statement but I'm not sure how to do it
  • 00:46:59
    any advice it starts with the topic
  • 00:47:01
    check out the video that I just
  • 00:47:03
    linked I'm thinking about forting my
  • 00:47:05
    college IEM or the scientific method
  • 00:47:06
    because it shows the way I think plus I
  • 00:47:08
    want to be an environmental engineer
  • 00:47:09
    could this work yep sounds cool try it
  • 00:47:12
    if it doesn't work try something else is
  • 00:47:15
    it good to write an essay about how I
  • 00:47:16
    was bullied for my height and how I
  • 00:47:17
    changed myself later maybe I would say
  • 00:47:20
    try it um I think often times essays
  • 00:47:22
    that are focused on challenges show one
  • 00:47:24
    dimension of a student and I really like
  • 00:47:25
    to see lots of different sides of you so
  • 00:47:27
    I'd love to see that as part of a
  • 00:47:28
    montage where I get to see other sides
  • 00:47:29
    of
  • 00:47:30
    you is an essay about the impact of
  • 00:47:33
    support systems on academic achievement
  • 00:47:35
    a bad college essay um I don't know if I
  • 00:47:37
    would say bad but I think it would be
  • 00:47:38
    good if you feel like you didn't have
  • 00:47:40
    great support systems put that in your
  • 00:47:41
    additional info talk about what you did
  • 00:47:43
    what you learned from the experience and
  • 00:47:44
    then write your personal statement on
  • 00:47:46
    something else because then otherwise I
  • 00:47:47
    think it could sound like you're
  • 00:47:49
    complaining I'm struggling with
  • 00:47:50
    brainstorming what are your tips or
  • 00:47:52
    advice check out the YouTube video that
  • 00:47:53
    I linked smash that like button well
  • 00:47:56
    will it be good to write about problems
  • 00:47:58
    I face in a school and later Started
  • 00:48:00
    Loving school I want to show how the
  • 00:48:01
    problems develop my character maybe I
  • 00:48:04
    would that sounds like additional info
  • 00:48:05
    you can put challenges effects what I
  • 00:48:07
    did what I learned and just answer those
  • 00:48:09
    in bullet points in the additional
  • 00:48:10
    information section and then you can
  • 00:48:12
    write about whatever else you want in
  • 00:48:13
    the personal
  • 00:48:14
    statement how do you write a u UC Essa
  • 00:48:17
    that's the University of California
  • 00:48:18
    about overcoming challenges without
  • 00:48:20
    sounding too negative it's a matter of
  • 00:48:22
    degree if it's 350 Words which it is for
  • 00:48:24
    the University of California I would say
  • 00:48:26
    devote no more than 75 words to
  • 00:48:29
    describing the challenge and the effects
  • 00:48:30
    I want to see 150 or 200 words on what
  • 00:48:33
    you did about it and another hund or so
  • 00:48:36
    words on what you learn through the
  • 00:48:37
    experience so challenges and effects
  • 00:48:40
    squish them up into the
  • 00:48:41
    start what I did about it what I learned
  • 00:48:44
    but also ask yourself could these
  • 00:48:45
    challenges be something that I could
  • 00:48:46
    just briefly mention with what I did
  • 00:48:48
    what I learned in the additional
  • 00:48:49
    comments section of the uc's because
  • 00:48:51
    that could also allow you to free up
  • 00:48:53
    space for another UC personal Insight
  • 00:48:55
    question he see this person's extra
  • 00:48:57
    description doesn't have numbers should
  • 00:48:59
    I be more focused on numbers even if
  • 00:49:01
    it's not like a huge impact um I would
  • 00:49:04
    say put it doesn't have numbers some do
  • 00:49:07
    and some don't I would say if the
  • 00:49:08
    numbers if they're impressive from your
  • 00:49:10
    perspective Tiffany then put them in and
  • 00:49:12
    if you're not sure you can just ask
  • 00:49:13
    somebody does Raising $100 that sound
  • 00:49:16
    impressive you know maybe maybe not so
  • 00:49:18
    much is Raising $5,000 impressive yeah
  • 00:49:20
    totally so decide if it feels impressive
  • 00:49:23
    um or not and then put the numbers in
  • 00:49:27
    did she end up getting into Columbia she
  • 00:49:28
    did she went there she's graduating soon
  • 00:49:31
    I think like next year um and she was
  • 00:49:34
    super exatic I forgot to mention that
  • 00:49:36
    but yeah um let's see I'm an
  • 00:49:38
    international student who homeschooled
  • 00:49:40
    for secondary school um most of my like
  • 00:49:44
    my my extracurriculars are from primary
  • 00:49:45
    and Elementary School I would say just
  • 00:49:47
    explain that and you're on a gap year
  • 00:49:49
    yeah I would say explain that in your
  • 00:49:51
    additional info you're going to probably
  • 00:49:52
    use that additional info a lot if you're
  • 00:49:53
    a homeschooling student explain all the
  • 00:49:55
    extenuating circumstan say what you've
  • 00:49:57
    done how homeschooling has you know made
  • 00:50:00
    you an awesome learner P human all the
  • 00:50:03
    things I would put that you know put
  • 00:50:05
    that in your additional
  • 00:50:06
    info should you try to fill out all 10
  • 00:50:08
    spots in the activities no don't don't
  • 00:50:10
    necessarily need to seven or eight is
  • 00:50:11
    fine can you put information relating to
  • 00:50:14
    your financial circumstances in the
  • 00:50:15
    additional info if you want um I would
  • 00:50:18
    be interested I'm I'm really curious
  • 00:50:19
    could we do a quick PLL Diana I'd be
  • 00:50:21
    curious of the students present which
  • 00:50:23
    students are domestic which is to say
  • 00:50:24
    you're from you live in the US and
  • 00:50:26
    you're applying as a as a as a a
  • 00:50:28
    national and then which students are
  • 00:50:29
    international I'd just be curious to get
  • 00:50:31
    a little a little poll uh so we're going
  • 00:50:34
    to we'll call we say like IMA so this is
  • 00:50:36
    just for students and uh domestic which
  • 00:50:38
    is to say from the US or International
  • 00:50:40
    let us know in the chat I'm just curious
  • 00:50:41
    who's who's here would CMO need to put
  • 00:50:44
    an AP explanation um not necessarily no
  • 00:50:47
    uh if you if they if it's already on the
  • 00:50:49
    school profile that's fine the school
  • 00:50:51
    profile is the information that the
  • 00:50:52
    school is submitting so that's great I
  • 00:50:55
    was weit listed at two schools now I'm
  • 00:50:56
    planning to apply Ed and EA what are my
  • 00:50:59
    odds don't know without knowing more
  • 00:51:00
    about you can you I would say if just
  • 00:51:03
    generally your odds of getting into
  • 00:51:04
    Wesley and and Williams are not high so
  • 00:51:07
    I would just encourage you to expand
  • 00:51:08
    your list in a general sense can you
  • 00:51:11
    submit different personal statements to
  • 00:51:12
    different schools you can so you can
  • 00:51:14
    basically if you want thanks for the
  • 00:51:16
    poll um you can you can apply to a
  • 00:51:19
    school submit the personal statement and
  • 00:51:22
    then edit your personal statement write
  • 00:51:24
    a whole different personal statement and
  • 00:51:25
    submit that to another SCH so that's
  • 00:51:27
    fine too um so you can tweak your Comon
  • 00:51:30
    app at least you have been able to every
  • 00:51:31
    year in the past I haven't looked this
  • 00:51:32
    week to make sure that you can do it but
  • 00:51:34
    if you're if you're wondering about
  • 00:51:35
    anything like that you can message the
  • 00:51:36
    Common App their their customer service
  • 00:51:38
    is really good um and they'll get back
  • 00:51:40
    to you pretty
  • 00:51:42
    quick I hear it's not a good idea um to
  • 00:51:46
    put some data at the college because
  • 00:51:47
    it's something that they've known how
  • 00:51:48
    can I mention to avoid a negative
  • 00:51:50
    reaction no just connect it back to you
  • 00:51:51
    like if you mention a thing about them
  • 00:51:53
    just say why it's meaningful to you
  • 00:51:57
    um two my let's see if I have several
  • 00:51:58
    sides of myself should I try to braid
  • 00:52:00
    them all together in the personal
  • 00:52:01
    statement or focus on one or two mostly
  • 00:52:04
    the sides are political science
  • 00:52:05
    engineering and Chinese it's I I don't
  • 00:52:07
    know much about you Peter i' I'd have to
  • 00:52:09
    take we'd have to go through a whole
  • 00:52:10
    brainstorming process to to sort of
  • 00:52:12
    figure that out um join the course if
  • 00:52:14
    you want I'd love to have you again it's
  • 00:52:16
    pay what you can so no Financial barrier
  • 00:52:18
    to joining um and I don't but it would
  • 00:52:22
    be hard for me to answer that question
  • 00:52:24
    any way to review my letters of wreck
  • 00:52:25
    through this platform form um what how
  • 00:52:28
    wait how are you reviewing your letters
  • 00:52:29
    of wreck uh you're not supposed to see
  • 00:52:32
    your letters of wreck so um
  • 00:52:35
    no you're supposed to sign a thing in
  • 00:52:37
    fact that says that you're not able to
  • 00:52:39
    see your letters of wreck um can I add a
  • 00:52:41
    subject that I self-studied for in the
  • 00:52:43
    activity section
  • 00:52:45
    yes uh Ethan outlined elaborating on
  • 00:52:47
    activities in the additional info
  • 00:52:48
    section but USC sent email specifically
  • 00:52:50
    indicating to not use a section for more
  • 00:52:52
    activities or an explanation of
  • 00:52:53
    activities it goes on to say your
  • 00:52:54
    activity summary was the perfect place
  • 00:52:56
    to highlight your involvement so please
  • 00:52:57
    include that info there and not in the
  • 00:52:59
    additional information section then do
  • 00:53:00
    not do it for USC thank you thank you
  • 00:53:03
    for pointing that out that's the first
  • 00:53:04
    time I've ever heard of a college saying
  • 00:53:06
    that and and now that you said that to
  • 00:53:07
    me I'm gonna take I'm gonna make a note
  • 00:53:10
    and Diana will you send that to me as a
  • 00:53:11
    slack message because I want to include
  • 00:53:14
    that specifically in a note in the blog
  • 00:53:17
    that's like about how to write the USC
  • 00:53:19
    supplemental questions because if USC
  • 00:53:21
    specifically doesn't want that then
  • 00:53:22
    don't do that great listen to the school
  • 00:53:25
    same on another
  • 00:53:27
    if the school tells you hey please do
  • 00:53:29
    not send additional letters of
  • 00:53:30
    recommendation don't do
  • 00:53:33
    it I moved to the US two years ago in my
  • 00:53:36
    sophomore year now I'm a senior it took
  • 00:53:37
    me time to get used to the system here
  • 00:53:39
    so I don't really have a lot of
  • 00:53:39
    activities put in your additional
  • 00:53:41
    info can you put a link on something
  • 00:53:43
    you've done in the additional info yes
  • 00:53:45
    will they click it uh depends on how you
  • 00:53:47
    describe it but they can click links
  • 00:53:50
    should I write my additional info that I
  • 00:53:51
    studied graduated high school outside
  • 00:53:53
    the US and now I'm in New York I'm a US
  • 00:53:54
    citizen go for it what are examples of
  • 00:53:57
    common topics if you YouTube college
  • 00:53:59
    essay guy common topics you'll see a
  • 00:54:01
    list there's a YouTube video on
  • 00:54:04
    that if you look here so I thought we
  • 00:54:06
    were supposed to see something okay how
  • 00:54:07
    does one acquire research opportunities
  • 00:54:09
    do you just email professors yes if
  • 00:54:11
    you're a but if you're getting ready to
  • 00:54:13
    apply if you're like a rising senior it
  • 00:54:15
    might be a little bit too late uh but if
  • 00:54:17
    you're a you know if you're in ninth
  • 00:54:19
    10th or 11th grade yes you can ALS you
  • 00:54:21
    can do that this is the short
  • 00:54:23
    answer um a student I'm advising wants
  • 00:54:26
    to know she should include her
  • 00:54:27
    activities list in her activities a trip
  • 00:54:28
    she took with her school to the
  • 00:54:29
    Galapagos Islands another one she'll
  • 00:54:31
    take it was a struggle to raise the
  • 00:54:32
    funds for these trips I love it when
  • 00:54:33
    students include details of the trip so
  • 00:54:36
    we you know we worked hard to raise
  • 00:54:38
    money for the for the for this I love
  • 00:54:40
    when students include those details in
  • 00:54:41
    the additional
  • 00:54:42
    info do you submit a single personal
  • 00:54:44
    statement to all colleges can you change
  • 00:54:46
    it um so you can change it you you
  • 00:54:48
    submit a single personal statement to
  • 00:54:50
    most of the schools that you're applying
  • 00:54:51
    to um but in some cases yes you'll be
  • 00:54:54
    able to to edit it and I and I would say
  • 00:54:56
    write it with that in mind that you're
  • 00:54:57
    going to be sending it to multiple
  • 00:55:00
    schools can I write Ana about okay
  • 00:55:02
    there's are lots of questions about I
  • 00:55:03
    want to try to zoom back and find
  • 00:55:05
    questions that might reply more
  • 00:55:10
    broadly um Ethan said the first thing
  • 00:55:12
    you should ask yourself is what question
  • 00:55:13
    can I ask that's going to Intrigue
  • 00:55:14
    readers to the end of the
  • 00:55:17
    essay if we don't do too many activities
  • 00:55:20
    how do we write about the five things we
  • 00:55:21
    do check out the activities list guide
  • 00:55:23
    that I put in the chat it's up there
  • 00:55:24
    it's the activities list guide it
  • 00:55:25
    applies whether you got one activity
  • 00:55:27
    five or
  • 00:55:29
    27 what's differ between supplemental
  • 00:55:31
    essays and the personal statement so the
  • 00:55:32
    personal statement is one essay that
  • 00:55:33
    you'll write probably submitted through
  • 00:55:35
    the Common App if you're applying to
  • 00:55:36
    private schools and it goes to the 10 or
  • 00:55:38
    12 schools that you're applying to
  • 00:55:40
    supplemental essays are separate essays
  • 00:55:42
    that like USC will have a set of
  • 00:55:44
    supplemental essays Michigan has its own
  • 00:55:46
    essays Stanford has its other essays so
  • 00:55:49
    these are all those schools have their
  • 00:55:50
    specific essays based on what they're
  • 00:55:52
    looking for so USC won't see or USC
  • 00:55:55
    won't see m
  • 00:55:57
    essays uh cool we got about 80% domestic
  • 00:55:59
    students interesting and uh 18%
  • 00:56:02
    International students
  • 00:56:05
    cool um unexpected connections if my
  • 00:56:08
    connections kind of corny or is a
  • 00:56:09
    stretch would it be considered
  • 00:56:10
    negatively not negatively just more like
  • 00:56:12
    neutrally just more like okay cool I
  • 00:56:15
    would say if you've already recognized
  • 00:56:17
    something that's corny or a stretch I
  • 00:56:18
    would say revise
  • 00:56:20
    that how do you write a y major essay
  • 00:56:22
    when your common app essay talks about
  • 00:56:24
    how you decided to choose a particular
  • 00:56:25
    major new personal statement idea um
  • 00:56:29
    yeah it's hard I mean I guess the short
  • 00:56:31
    answer the two ways one is like write
  • 00:56:33
    about stuff about your major that is not
  • 00:56:36
    in your personal statement and like take
  • 00:56:37
    it further and talk about specific
  • 00:56:39
    things that you'll maybe include a
  • 00:56:40
    little Ys
  • 00:56:42
    details but another option is maybe
  • 00:56:44
    write a second personal statement that
  • 00:56:46
    goes specifically for that school and
  • 00:56:48
    then take what you put in the personal
  • 00:56:49
    statement and use that for the Y major
  • 00:56:51
    maybe a short version of
  • 00:56:53
    it which prompt is the personal
  • 00:56:55
    statement following topic of your choice
  • 00:56:57
    my favorite one so colleges don't care
  • 00:56:59
    too much about which common app like
  • 00:57:01
    there's not like a better or worse
  • 00:57:03
    Common App prompt prompt one is really
  • 00:57:05
    broad really open-ended you know
  • 00:57:07
    describe some tell us something about
  • 00:57:09
    you basically about what's shaped you so
  • 00:57:11
    usually the essays that you'll see on on
  • 00:57:13
    the blog and in these sessions will
  • 00:57:15
    either be about you know prompt response
  • 00:57:18
    to prompt one or prompt
  • 00:57:20
    seven can I add multiple stories under
  • 00:57:22
    one theme yes if you keep it short
  • 00:57:25
    usually they're probably not stories but
  • 00:57:27
    they're usually instances or examples of
  • 00:57:29
    whatever the topic or the common thing
  • 00:57:31
    is so but it's like for example I
  • 00:57:33
    wouldn't necessarily do a montage of
  • 00:57:35
    like times I've overcome challenges
  • 00:57:36
    because I think it would be it's just
  • 00:57:38
    harder to do have the whole Arc of the
  • 00:57:40
    story in like a single
  • 00:57:42
    paragraph can you write essays that
  • 00:57:44
    focus on one anecdote in a specific
  • 00:57:46
    lesson for sure I notic most these
  • 00:57:48
    essays touch on various parts of the
  • 00:57:49
    students life it's just the reason I
  • 00:57:51
    think that that's difficult to do is
  • 00:57:52
    that I think you kind of put all your
  • 00:57:53
    eggs in the one anecdote and if the
  • 00:57:55
    readers only kind of interested in that
  • 00:57:57
    anecdote or only the Insight is only
  • 00:57:59
    kind of surprising or
  • 00:58:01
    unexpected it's it's possible to do well
  • 00:58:03
    I think it's just harder to do well and
  • 00:58:05
    I think this what I'm proposing this
  • 00:58:06
    Montage approach is just a bit more
  • 00:58:08
    conservative because if the third
  • 00:58:09
    paragraph doesn't work out it's okay
  • 00:58:11
    maybe the fourth paragraph can pick up
  • 00:58:12
    the slack so I think it puts a little
  • 00:58:14
    bit less pressure on you as a writer to
  • 00:58:16
    like find the perfect story or find the
  • 00:58:18
    perfect moment that reveals the perfect
  • 00:58:19
    Insight it's a little bit more like well
  • 00:58:21
    here's a here are a variety of things I
  • 00:58:23
    also want to confess my bias that I'm a
  • 00:58:26
    a buffet guy like when I go to a buffet
  • 00:58:28
    I want to try a little bit of everything
  • 00:58:30
    um so that's kind of like a personal
  • 00:58:32
    bias and preference that I
  • 00:58:33
    bring but I've also just seen students
  • 00:58:36
    struggle with like I don't know if this
  • 00:58:37
    is my story you know and I'm like well
  • 00:58:39
    if you think of your story as more
  • 00:58:41
    broadly being like different instances
  • 00:58:43
    experiences that have helped shape who
  • 00:58:44
    you are I think bringing in a variety of
  • 00:58:47
    those sides of yourself can be a really
  • 00:58:48
    great way to get to know you in a bigger
  • 00:58:50
    sense I know we're at time I'm going to
  • 00:58:52
    stay for a few more minutes Renee may
  • 00:58:54
    drop off because you know it's 8:00 now
  • 00:58:57
    in the east coast but um but I'll stay
  • 00:58:59
    for a few more minutes I want to say
  • 00:59:01
    again I I hope to see some of you all on
  • 00:59:02
    the course if you're interested and um
  • 00:59:04
    you know feel free to reach out to us
  • 00:59:06
    you've got all the links in the chat and
  • 00:59:07
    please like stay in touch with us we're
  • 00:59:09
    going to be doing more sessions in the
  • 00:59:11
    coming weeks and months um kind of you
  • 00:59:12
    know going along through this process
  • 00:59:14
    and um love to hang out some more okay
  • 00:59:17
    I'm gonna do let's do like maybe five
  • 00:59:19
    more minutes um Rene when you got to go
  • 00:59:20
    feel free to go
  • 00:59:23
    okay um is Crea a club at a school a
  • 00:59:26
    common essay topic absolutely yeah I
  • 00:59:28
    wouldn't necessarily Focus your personal
  • 00:59:31
    statement on an extracurricular activity
  • 00:59:34
    because a lot of that can be put in the
  • 00:59:35
    supplemental essays or it's going to
  • 00:59:36
    show up in your activities
  • 00:59:38
    list um so yeah so and it's and it's
  • 00:59:41
    just harder to stand out with like I
  • 00:59:43
    created this club and here's what it did
  • 00:59:45
    it's also I feel
  • 00:59:49
    like it's
  • 00:59:52
    just I'm interested again in sort of
  • 00:59:54
    getting to know these different sides of
  • 00:59:56
    you now if that club let's say Debate
  • 00:59:58
    Club is a if you feel like a powerful
  • 01:00:00
    way to show different skills qualities
  • 01:00:02
    and values that you'll bring to the
  • 01:00:04
    college campus sure great go for it I've
  • 01:00:06
    seen students do it well um I'll give
  • 01:00:09
    you an example there's the hiking Club
  • 01:00:12
    essay uh that this student is writing
  • 01:00:14
    about a common topic which is like Boy
  • 01:00:17
    Scouts and by writing about Boy Scouts
  • 01:00:20
    he does it in an uncommon way if you
  • 01:00:22
    search I'll put this in the chat but if
  • 01:00:23
    you search hiking on this um on this
  • 01:00:27
    blog that I'm putting um you'll see that
  • 01:00:29
    he's basically combining the club Boy
  • 01:00:33
    Scouts with something that doesn't
  • 01:00:35
    always go with Boy Scouts in this case
  • 01:00:36
    like history so he's making some like a
  • 01:00:39
    like he's sort of combining two things
  • 01:00:41
    and that kind of helps it to stand out
  • 01:00:43
    but then the other thing that he's
  • 01:00:44
    bringing in is that he says at the end
  • 01:00:45
    of this essay when I'm hiking and he
  • 01:00:48
    talks about hiking with Boy Scouts I'm
  • 01:00:49
    not just a hiker and he lists three
  • 01:00:51
    different identities that he has
  • 01:00:53
    developed and been able to express
  • 01:00:55
    through Boy Scouts through hiking and
  • 01:00:58
    that to me is like chef's kiss that I
  • 01:01:00
    mean because I'm learning I want to
  • 01:01:01
    learn about your identities I want to
  • 01:01:02
    learn about the different sides of you
  • 01:01:04
    I'm less interested in like your Eagle
  • 01:01:06
    Scout project cool that you did an Eagle
  • 01:01:08
    Scout project but put that on your
  • 01:01:09
    activities list and the hours you spent
  • 01:01:12
    and then for everybody but USC like you
  • 01:01:14
    know if you feel like there's more stuff
  • 01:01:16
    there to expand on great um I'll be I'm
  • 01:01:19
    glad that someone share that because
  • 01:01:20
    I'll be interested to see if if more
  • 01:01:22
    schools ask for that I think the reason
  • 01:01:23
    they're probably doing that is it's an
  • 01:01:25
    Equity issue and they feel like um you
  • 01:01:29
    know students who are you know getting
  • 01:01:32
    support on their applications or maybe
  • 01:01:33
    using the additional info more that's
  • 01:01:34
    why I'm trying to put that the free info
  • 01:01:36
    for all the students um and make it you
  • 01:01:40
    know put the info out there but you know
  • 01:01:41
    actually we might we might put in the
  • 01:01:43
    additional info section A list of
  • 01:01:44
    schools that do not want that and and if
  • 01:01:46
    if you have if others have heard of
  • 01:01:48
    schools that ask you not to do that
  • 01:01:50
    their additional info email us at help
  • 01:01:52
    coles.com and um Diana will you Slack
  • 01:01:55
    because I'd like to also include in the
  • 01:01:57
    additional info like schools maybe a
  • 01:01:59
    including now USC schools that don't
  • 01:02:01
    like to see that in the additional
  • 01:02:04
    info um let's see can you write about
  • 01:02:08
    activities that don't necessarily count
  • 01:02:10
    as an extracurricular like the
  • 01:02:11
    activities you don't list in the Comon
  • 01:02:13
    app yeah for sure you can also if you
  • 01:02:15
    Google activities that count college
  • 01:02:17
    essay guy you'll see a list of
  • 01:02:18
    unconventional activities that you can
  • 01:02:20
    also put on your um activities list that
  • 01:02:23
    students don't often think about um
  • 01:02:28
    let's
  • 01:02:32
    see if you're writing with a thematic
  • 01:02:34
    thread you have to talk about each topic
  • 01:02:35
    with the same depth I mean do your best
  • 01:02:37
    to do it Francis like it's hard to go if
  • 01:02:40
    you're going broad with this Montage
  • 01:02:41
    it's hard to go deep with in just a
  • 01:02:43
    paragraph um but you'll notice and if
  • 01:02:45
    you just Google s sample essays College
  • 01:02:48
    Essa you'll see lots of students using
  • 01:02:49
    this Montage format and going somewhat
  • 01:02:52
    deep in a few different ways so it's
  • 01:02:55
    hard to say that in sort of General but
  • 01:02:57
    I would say uh to think back to the
  • 01:02:59
    soccer essay that I went over there's
  • 01:03:01
    some depth but it's not a ton of depth
  • 01:03:03
    when the student is writing about how
  • 01:03:05
    soccer has connected their love of
  • 01:03:07
    geography and their interest in history
  • 01:03:09
    it doesn't go into like what are those
  • 01:03:11
    historical questions because it's moving
  • 01:03:12
    on to the other side and that's one of
  • 01:03:14
    like the other side of themselves which
  • 01:03:15
    is like connecting to culture or really
  • 01:03:17
    not connecting to culture and realizing
  • 01:03:18
    that and then statistics so the downside
  • 01:03:21
    of doing this jumping around is that we
  • 01:03:24
    don't maybe get as much depth or EXP
  • 01:03:25
    ation so if you're more like a depth
  • 01:03:27
    person and you're like I want to just
  • 01:03:28
    focus on one particular thing great go
  • 01:03:31
    for it and if you've got something that
  • 01:03:33
    you feel like you can write about
  • 01:03:34
    awesome um but and and I've seen
  • 01:03:38
    students do this with like so there's
  • 01:03:39
    there's a student if you watch there's
  • 01:03:40
    another YouTube video on food that I put
  • 01:03:43
    out that's like um talking about how
  • 01:03:46
    this student has how food has helped
  • 01:03:47
    them learn different lessons in their
  • 01:03:49
    life you know it's arguable whether it's
  • 01:03:52
    like well did he explore that in depth
  • 01:03:53
    well he definitely is exploring food in
  • 01:03:55
    depth because it's effective him and you
  • 01:03:57
    know his what he his extracurricular
  • 01:03:59
    activities in lots of different ways but
  • 01:04:01
    in terms of the different sides of
  • 01:04:02
    himself like he only devotes a paragraph
  • 01:04:04
    to each one so that's an example maybe
  • 01:04:07
    sort of like a hybrid example where it
  • 01:04:08
    is actually choosing just one thing but
  • 01:04:11
    it's exploring the the different ways
  • 01:04:13
    that that thing has like what what
  • 01:04:16
    that's brought out of him lessons he's
  • 01:04:17
    learned um
  • 01:04:20
    yeah can you develop a very beautiful
  • 01:04:22
    inviting essay without winning main
  • 01:04:24
    Awards you're getting a to rank in a
  • 01:04:25
    competition I the universities look at
  • 01:04:27
    this majorly no um I I wouldn't say that
  • 01:04:30
    you know it's not like you have to win
  • 01:04:31
    Awards in order to get into college um
  • 01:04:33
    and you can definitely write a great
  • 01:04:34
    essay without winning awards for sure
  • 01:04:38
    how would I come up with uncommon
  • 01:04:39
    connections okay so this is going to
  • 01:04:40
    take a little time matth you but I would
  • 01:04:42
    say spend some time staring at that
  • 01:04:45
    values exercise that I linked in the
  • 01:04:46
    chat some students are going to be like
  • 01:04:48
    really fast at it and some students it's
  • 01:04:50
    going to take a little bit longer and
  • 01:04:51
    that's just I think that's just the way
  • 01:04:53
    our our brains work some students are
  • 01:04:55
    fired for uncommon connections and
  • 01:04:57
    they're like oh my gosh this water
  • 01:04:59
    bottle reminds me of like uh
  • 01:05:01
    conservation efforts that my school has
  • 01:05:03
    been struggling to make lately it also
  • 01:05:05
    reminds me of the color blue and how I
  • 01:05:07
    could Name six different panone colors
  • 01:05:09
    that are related to this and I could
  • 01:05:10
    even tell you the numbers related to
  • 01:05:11
    them it also reminds me of how I can't
  • 01:05:14
    for some reason like keep a water bottle
  • 01:05:17
    I'm constantly forgetting things like my
  • 01:05:19
    water bottle but I will I've never lost
  • 01:05:21
    my wallet in you know in 20 years of
  • 01:05:23
    owning it this is me making this up and
  • 01:05:25
    I that's how my brain works like I just
  • 01:05:27
    look at this and like I can think of six
  • 01:05:28
    different things that I could say about
  • 01:05:29
    this water bottle also because maybe I
  • 01:05:31
    studied improv um but for some students
  • 01:05:34
    they look at this and they're like
  • 01:05:36
    that's a water bottle like I don't I
  • 01:05:38
    don't know what else to say about that
  • 01:05:40
    um so if that's you if you're like it's
  • 01:05:43
    just a water bottle give yourself some
  • 01:05:45
    more time it might be fun to do this
  • 01:05:47
    with a partner but essentially whatever
  • 01:05:49
    your topic is try to First clearcut do a
  • 01:05:52
    what I call a prescribed burning
  • 01:05:53
    brainstorm stuff that you know people
  • 01:05:55
    would obvious viously say about this
  • 01:05:56
    thing and then don't say those
  • 01:06:00
    things all right last one do you support
  • 01:06:03
    the idea of writing about a passion
  • 01:06:04
    project or research for a personal essay
  • 01:06:06
    um I don't I recommend I I support
  • 01:06:10
    writing about a passion project or
  • 01:06:11
    research you've done in a supplemental
  • 01:06:12
    essay or putting in your activities list
  • 01:06:15
    um or if you do want to put it in there
  • 01:06:17
    put it in there briefly in just a
  • 01:06:18
    paragraph I wouldn't make that your main
  • 01:06:19
    topic and that's just my personal bias I
  • 01:06:22
    want to learn a variety of skills
  • 01:06:24
    qualities values I want to learn about
  • 01:06:25
    your personality if you can do that
  • 01:06:27
    through the passion project great I just
  • 01:06:29
    think it's it's hard I don't want to
  • 01:06:30
    like send you in that direction I want
  • 01:06:32
    to encourage you to think of other
  • 01:06:33
    possibilities for your personal
  • 01:06:35
    statement see YouTube video in the chat
  • 01:06:38
    above for ideas
  • 01:06:41
    there
  • 01:06:42
    okay that's what I got Renee are you I
  • 01:06:44
    don't know if you're still there and you
  • 01:06:45
    want to unmute and say hi if not that's
  • 01:06:47
    totally fine but um thanks y'all thanks
  • 01:06:50
    for being here thank you Diana for
  • 01:06:52
    keeping up how many questions 112
  • 01:06:54
    questions might be a new record um and
  • 01:06:57
    Haley hugget had won has won the new
  • 01:06:59
    book so for those of you who didn't join
  • 01:07:01
    early join early next time because we
  • 01:07:03
    sent out a Google form uh we can
  • 01:07:05
    actually let's let's link the Google
  • 01:07:06
    form one more time and let's do this
  • 01:07:09
    let's give out another free book and
  • 01:07:11
    we'll follow up via email with whoever
  • 01:07:13
    wins so thank you we've got the Google
  • 01:07:15
    form in there for those of you who are
  • 01:07:17
    interested fill out the Google form and
  • 01:07:19
    let us know about you who you are what
  • 01:07:21
    you're about and then we'll follow up
  • 01:07:23
    with a second free book winner uh and
  • 01:07:25
    then if you wouldn't mind um Diana just
  • 01:07:28
    let Jasmine know that we're having two
  • 01:07:30
    book winners this time so rapid fire
  • 01:07:32
    extra free book opportunity we're going
  • 01:07:34
    to log off here you all can fill out the
  • 01:07:36
    form it's in the it's in the chat um and
  • 01:07:40
    you know take your time whatever five
  • 01:07:41
    minutes whatever it takes and um we'll
  • 01:07:44
    follow up with someone we will choose
  • 01:07:46
    randomly thanks y for being here stay up
  • 01:07:49
    St late with us some of you probably
  • 01:07:51
    very late and um we'll see you next time
  • 01:07:54
    bye okay
Tags
  • College Essays
  • Application Tips
  • Essay Writing
  • College Applications
  • Activities List
  • Supplemental Essays
  • Personal Statements
  • Higher Education
  • College Counseling
  • University Admissions