00:00:00
[Music]
00:00:12
so what if I told you you've been lied
00:00:16
to your whole life what if I told you
00:00:21
that what you've been told since you
00:00:23
were a kid about what it takes to become
00:00:25
successful is completely wrong what if I
00:00:30
told you that you did not have to be so
00:00:35
many of the things you thought you did
00:00:37
now you've been lied to and just for
00:00:39
clarity you weren't lied to by your
00:00:40
teachers by your parents by the adults
00:00:42
in your life because they hate you
00:00:43
you've been lied to because they would
00:00:45
just misguided for example what if I
00:00:49
told you you do not have to be smart to
00:00:53
be successful there are a bunch of
00:00:56
really not smart people doing very well
00:01:03
but this is what we're told
00:01:07
ever since we're younger we want to be
00:01:08
in a smart class don't we have you ever
00:01:11
heard a teacher say something like this
00:01:13
too maybe you are one of your classmates
00:01:14
Wow you finished your work really really
00:01:17
quickly you must be really smart do you
00:01:24
know what's being said and implied in
00:01:26
that statement what's being implied is
00:01:28
if it takes you a long time to do
00:01:32
something then you are not smart so when
00:01:38
we're younger if we come up to an
00:01:40
obstacle we don't go oh this is awesome
00:01:41
we go well I don't want people to know
00:01:43
I'm not smart but as adults we all know
00:01:45
that anything worth doing takes a lot of
00:01:48
time but we keep saying you have to be
00:01:51
smart now I will prove to you that being
00:01:54
smart is not a precursor to success with
00:01:56
a simple question how many of you know
00:01:58
someone you know someone who's really
00:02:00
really smart but they're not doing
00:02:04
anything productive with how smart they
00:02:07
are does anyone know something like that
00:02:09
all of us
00:02:10
so being smart that can't be what it is
00:02:13
oh good news you know what else you
00:02:15
don't need to be talented talent
00:02:19
completely overrated we talk about
00:02:22
talent oh you you're gonna go so far you
00:02:24
have so many natural abilities you're so
00:02:26
gifted doesn't mean anything and I'll
00:02:27
prove it to it the same question I just
00:02:29
asked you a few moments ago how many of
00:02:31
you know someone I want you to really
00:02:32
think who is really really talented
00:02:35
maybe they're amazing poet or musician
00:02:38
or artist or whatever it is but they're
00:02:41
not doing anything to the level they
00:02:44
should with the natural talent that they
00:02:46
have does anyone else someone like that
00:02:48
so whoohoo oh this isn't a science wait
00:02:50
a minute so we all know someone who is
00:02:53
smart we all know someone who's talented
00:02:56
that's not doing anything so it can't be
00:03:00
smart intelligence talent gifts and by
00:03:05
the way it's also not being born into
00:03:06
the right family being born rich or any
00:03:08
of those things it's one thing that
00:03:10
nobody can give to you it's the only
00:03:12
thing you can give to yourself that
00:03:14
makes the biggest difference
00:03:15
and that word is effort effort is
00:03:22
everything whatever you're not good at
00:03:26
with the right amount of effort you
00:03:27
become good at it now this old concept
00:03:29
was very fascinating to me because when
00:03:31
I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn
00:03:33
New York I was in the smart class in
00:03:38
elementary school I was in the top class
00:03:43
and you know what we all knew we were in
00:03:45
the top class oh and to make it even
00:03:48
better does anyone remember the days
00:03:49
when you didn't even have to study for a
00:03:52
test and you got good grades I loved it
00:03:55
and everyone kept telling me around
00:03:56
you're so smart and I was like I am
00:03:58
smart until I hit junior high and then
00:04:02
all of a sudden I became really dumb the
00:04:06
craziest thing happened I would be in
00:04:08
class and the teachers will be talking
00:04:09
and I'll be like you ever had that face
00:04:11
where on the outside you look like
00:04:12
you're 100% paying attention but on the
00:04:16
inside you have no idea what's been
00:04:18
happening I mastered that but I couldn't
00:04:21
ask for help because I was the smart kid
00:04:24
because if I asked for help it would
00:04:26
prove I didn't grasp things quickly so
00:04:28
therefore I'm not smart dr. John Medina
00:04:32
and his work of brain roles and brain
00:04:33
rules for babies talks about when we
00:04:35
connect our concept of who we are to
00:04:39
innate abilities we have no control over
00:04:41
we don't become successful but when we
00:04:43
attach them to things like hard work and
00:04:45
effort we control those but I didn't
00:04:48
know that there so I did like what I
00:04:50
thought was the right thing to do and I
00:04:51
just shut my mouth and it went on into
00:04:54
high school I just got WAY worse
00:04:56
I started failing and I was not a
00:05:01
science person where my people science
00:05:04
chemistry biology is just not your thing
00:05:06
like I look at it and you just might as
00:05:08
well be speaking a different language
00:05:08
where are the people math you just suck
00:05:11
at math like it's just not going to be a
00:05:12
good experience right I got you I was
00:05:16
with that okay so for me science was my
00:05:19
hard subject and I failed and I was told
00:05:24
I want to be able to graduate on a side
00:05:25
past my science classes
00:05:28
so now I'm facing not being able to
00:05:31
graduate having no skills or talents
00:05:34
that I could know of in fact I played
00:05:36
three sports in high school and sat on
00:05:39
the bench on all three of them so my
00:05:41
professional athlete goes out the window
00:05:43
I was in a tough environment I witnessed
00:05:46
people get murdered I've been robbed
00:05:49
beat up made fun of and I thought I have
00:05:57
no future what's the point so when I was
00:06:03
16 I thought it'd be better to be dead
00:06:09
than to be alive because what what's the
00:06:14
point so when I was 16 I went to the
00:06:17
roof of my building I stood on the roof
00:06:18
and I looked down I imagined what would
00:06:20
feel like to not have to deal with the
00:06:21
pain that I had inside of me because
00:06:24
what was the point not smart not
00:06:28
talented
00:06:30
luckily I stepped back from the ledge
00:06:32
that day because I heard this still
00:06:34
voice inside of me and all they said was
00:06:36
not yet and his voice had to come from
00:06:38
being much greater than me because again
00:06:40
I'm not smart enough to think this on my
00:06:42
own so with that thought of not yet I
00:06:46
went back into my room and was just
00:06:49
depressed and I am lucky to have people
00:06:53
care about me I have an amazing mother
00:06:57
awesome brother fantastic father and my
00:07:00
father song and he said get up we gotta
00:07:01
go for a ride looks like I jump in his
00:07:05
car he starts driving it takes me to
00:07:06
this beautiful neighborhood that I never
00:07:08
seen before it was over like 15-20
00:07:10
minutes from our house and he said you
00:07:12
see this house you see these cars he
00:07:14
said one day if you want it you can have
00:07:16
these things you know because as a
00:07:18
teenager we know success is the big
00:07:20
house and a big car right and I was like
00:07:23
yo there's no way I'm gonna be able to
00:07:25
have these things and then he said
00:07:27
something things that changed the course
00:07:29
of my life what he said was we were all
00:07:35
given the problems we were supposed to
00:07:38
be given so that we can face
00:07:40
them overcome them and that's where we
00:07:44
become the person we were meant to be
00:07:46
you said what most people do is they
00:07:48
face their problems and then they go oh
00:07:51
this is proof I don't deserve it
00:07:53
this is proof I'm not supposed to have
00:07:55
it look at these problems in my life so
00:07:57
they quit but he said when you put in
00:07:59
effort you get to the other side and on
00:08:03
the other side is where the magic
00:08:04
happens
00:08:05
that's where success comes from so I
00:08:08
started getting excited I said well how
00:08:09
could I apply this in my life I was like
00:08:11
what better place to apply it then than
00:08:13
with science so what's my chemistry
00:08:15
teacher I said look I'd like to graduate
00:08:18
I'm not gonna graduate came past this
00:08:19
class I'll make a deal with you if I can
00:08:21
pass the final exam you give me a
00:08:24
passing grade in the class with the
00:08:26
final grant final exam was cumulative
00:08:28
she said deal so I started doing some
00:08:30
strange things during lunch I would go
00:08:34
to tutoring and I would work with my
00:08:36
tutor understand concepts before I went
00:08:38
home before I left school I would do the
00:08:40
blue I would do more tutoring then on my
00:08:43
way to school and from school I would
00:08:44
get practice problems and I would go
00:08:45
over the practice problems every single
00:08:47
day to and from school the craziest
00:08:49
thing happened after I did that for a
00:08:50
few months I passed the class I passed
00:08:54
the test I graduated so from there I
00:08:59
decided to sneak into college I like to
00:09:00
say I snuck into college because I went
00:09:01
to the college that my brother got
00:09:02
accepted to because he's smart I got in
00:09:05
and I said listen I'm not going to be
00:09:08
the smartest student by no means I'm not
00:09:11
going to be the most talented student
00:09:13
it's impossible so how am I going to
00:09:15
succeed here I made a decision early on
00:09:17
that I was just going to outwork
00:09:19
everyone because I'm not smart I'm not
00:09:22
smart I'm not talented so if I was in
00:09:25
class and I didn't understand something
00:09:26
I would raise my hand until I got it I
00:09:28
would go to office hours and meet with
00:09:29
the professor to make sure I understood
00:09:31
the concepts not just when the tests
00:09:32
were coming out I would meet with the
00:09:35
teachers assistants to go over the
00:09:37
course curriculum to make sure I
00:09:38
understood it from that particular
00:09:39
professor's perspective I never handed
00:09:41
in a paper without a second set of eyes
00:09:43
looking at it I met up with all the
00:09:44
smart kids in class and by the way you
00:09:46
want to find a smart kids they sit in
00:09:47
the front they got highlighters make
00:09:48
friends with them okay I made friends
00:09:51
with them and I studied in groups with
00:09:53
them
00:09:54
and the funniest thing happened at a
00:09:58
16,000 students I was named one of the
00:10:00
top five exemplary students this is me
00:10:03
back in the day when I had hair I like
00:10:04
to call it the glory days right I was an
00:10:08
educational opportunity program student
00:10:09
ELP student at Binghamton University yes
00:10:11
yes I was needed most outstanding
00:10:13
graduating senior in my class president
00:10:15
of for student organizations when I
00:10:17
graduated I applied the same concepts to
00:10:20
my entrepreneurship endeavors in my
00:10:21
businesses so if I ever that was a
00:10:23
problem like I don't know how to manage
00:10:24
people I'm not good at it I would change
00:10:25
it to I just need to put more effort
00:10:27
into managing people and I would get
00:10:29
good at it
00:10:31
and it's amazing because I started
00:10:33
travelling to high schools and colleges
00:10:35
and sharing this idea of effort and
00:10:36
effort is everything an amazing thing
00:10:38
happens now we have a shared language
00:10:41
the students have a language they can
00:10:43
communicate to the teachers and the
00:10:45
teachers have a language they can
00:10:46
communicate to the students so no longer
00:10:48
is it oh I'm just dumb in math look I
00:10:50
got a bad grade it becomes oh I got a
00:10:53
bad grade I guess I need to put in more
00:10:55
effort in math teachers instead of
00:10:58
saying hey better luck next time they
00:11:00
can say hey you didn't get a good grade
00:11:01
we just need to do more effort let's
00:11:02
figure it out the language became
00:11:04
created and it's a mindset that moves
00:11:07
away from this natural innate ability
00:11:09
and move it to something we can control
00:11:12
Cal Dweck has a great book on mindset
00:11:14
which talks about growth mindset and
00:11:16
fixed mindset growth mindset says I can
00:11:19
learn and do anything fixed mindset says
00:11:22
everything I got I already got it's not
00:11:25
going to get better I believe and many
00:11:27
educators do that the growth mindset is
00:11:29
the way to success and I believe the
00:11:32
pathway to the growth mindset is effort
00:11:36
effort is everything and you've
00:11:40
experienced this how many people
00:11:43
remember what it was like to learn how
00:11:44
to tie your shoes does anybody remember
00:11:45
this have you ever seen a little kid
00:11:47
trying to tie their shoes it's the most
00:11:49
frustrating process in the world your
00:11:51
fingers won't do what your mind's
00:11:52
telling it to do you can't get the bunny
00:11:54
ears just right and then you take your
00:11:56
shoe you throw dr. Whibley
00:11:57
I just with Velcro and you just be done
00:11:58
with it right just me and TOMS shoes for
00:12:02
the rest of my life right but the funny
00:12:05
thing happens you don't give up
00:12:07
you believe it's possible one day and
00:12:09
you keep doing it and then something
00:12:11
happens your brain clicks and now I'm
00:12:14
confidence you can tie your shoelaces in
00:12:16
the dark because of effort no one's born
00:12:20
naturally gifted at tying your shoes do
00:12:23
you get that no one is born naturally
00:12:26
smart at the ways of tying shoes you put
00:12:28
an effort you learn you get it that
00:12:29
neuro plasticity of the brain does not
00:12:31
go away barring a healthy functioning
00:12:34
brain of course you have to move from
00:12:40
this idea that you have to be naturally
00:12:42
good at something to succeed at it you
00:12:44
don't you have to put in effort effort
00:12:48
is everything effort is more important
00:12:56
than where you're born it's more
00:12:58
important than the money you have in
00:12:59
your bank account so I have full
00:13:02
confidence that if I ever lost it and
00:13:03
God really we got to do what I have my
00:13:06
effort will see me through you're not
00:13:10
good at math start printing effort
00:13:12
towards math you're not good at science
00:13:14
start putting effort towards science you
00:13:16
want to start a business put an effort
00:13:18
into starting a business you want a
00:13:19
great marriage put in the effort to have
00:13:21
a great marriage people think well if
00:13:25
it's supposed to be is just going to
00:13:26
happen no if it's supposed to be you're
00:13:30
going to put in the effort to make it be
00:13:33
there's a great quote that I love from
00:13:35
Thomas Edison that says opportunity is
00:13:37
missed by most people because it's
00:13:39
dressed in overalls and it looks like
00:13:41
work with effort you'll take advantage
00:13:47
of every opportunity that's in front of
00:13:49
you
00:13:50
effort is everything and when you put in
00:13:55
effort not only will you take advantage
00:13:57
of the opportunities that's in front of
00:13:58
you you'll take advantage and create
00:14:03
opportunities you didn't even know
00:14:05
existed thank you
00:14:10
[Applause]
