Your Role, Punishment in Narcissist’s Narrative: How You Fit In

00:29:00
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3OmIwanTvk

Résumé

TLDRDans cette présentation, Vaknin explore comment les personnes ayant des troubles de la personnalité du groupe B, tels que les narcissiques, construisent et maintiennent des narratifs contradictoires pour gérer leurs conflits internes. Ces narratifs, bien qu'utilisés pour apaiser l'anxiété et le déséquilibre internes, finissent par créer des conflits supplémentaires car ils ne sont pas alignés avec la réalité. Les individus affectés projettent souvent ces histoires sur les gens autour d'eux, les poussant à adhérer et à jouer un rôle dans leurs narratifs pour maintenir une illusion d'ordre et de signification. Lorsque ces histoires s'effondrent, les personnes affectées externalisent la responsabilité et manipulent leur entourage de façon coercitive.

A retenir

  • 📜 Les narratifs organisent notre perception et notre comportement.
  • 🧠 Les troubles de la personnalité du groupe B entraînent des narratifs multiples et contradictoires.
  • 🤯 Ces narratifs conflictuels exacerbent l'anxiété et le stress.
  • 👥 Les individus affectés projettent leurs narratifs sur les autres pour validation.
  • 🎭 Les proches deviennent souvent "acteurs" dans les narratifs des personnes affectées.
  • ⚡ Les narratifs échouants engendrent des conflits supplémentaires.
  • 🔄 La manipulation coercitive est utilisée pour maintenir les narratifs.
  • 🚨 Refuser de participer à ces narratifs peut entraîner des représailles.
  • 🌀 Les narratifs générés sont souvent éloignés de la réalité.
  • 📚 La compréhension de ces mécanismes aide à aborder les relations avec les personnes affectées.

Chronologie

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Les récits personnels façonnent notre identité et notre comportement. Cependant, pour les personnes ayant des troubles de la personnalité du cluster B, ces récits sont fragmentés, multiples et souvent contradictoires, entraînant des conflits internes perpétuels. Ces récits servent à gérer ces conflits mais créent également de nouvelles dissonances, menant à davantage de perturbations internes.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Les individus atteints de troubles de la personnalité du cluster B génèrent continuellement des récits pour faire face aux conflits internes. Ces récits souvent contradictoires exacerbent leur désordre plutôt que de l'apaiser, conduisant à des tensions internes accrues et à des relations dysfonctionnelles avec la réalité.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Ces récits servent de mécanismes de défense, mais en raison de leur incompatibilité, ils mènent à des comportements et des émotions dysfonctionnels. Les récits, bien qu'autonomes et dynamiques, créent un chaos interne et parfois des dynamiques auto-destructrices.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    Lorsqu'un récit s'effondre sous la pression de la réalité, la personne désordonnée tente souvent de projeter ce récit sur leur entourage via l'identification projective. Ce mécanisme impose à l'entourage de jouer des rôles dans ces récits comme dans une production théâtrale, causant des tensions relationnelles.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:29:00

    Les acteurs impliqués dans ces récits finissent par éprouver un poids émotionnel extrême, menant souvent à la dissociation. Si ces acteurs se rebellent, ils deviennent des ennemis aux yeux de la personne désordonnée, entraînant des représailles alors que cette dernière tente de maintenir ou de reconstruire son récit par tous les moyens possibles.

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Carte mentale

Mind Map

Questions fréquemment posées

  • Qu'est-ce qu'un trouble de la personnalité du groupe B ?

    Ce sont des troubles caractérisés par des comportements dramatiques, impulsifs et erratiques, incluant des troubles tels que la personnalité narcissique, borderline ou psychopathique.

  • Pourquoi les individus avec des troubles du groupe B ont-ils plusieurs narratifs ?

    Ils créent plusieurs narratifs pour gérer des conflits internes incessants et pathologiques, chaque narratif servant à apaiser une partie du conflit.

  • Que se passe-t-il lorsque les narratifs de ces personnes échouent ?

    Ils projettent ces narratifs sur des personnes dans leur entourage, les forçant à adopter et à vivre selon ces fictions pour revalider leur propre réalité.

  • Comment les narratifs contradictoires affectent-ils le comportement des personnes ?

    Les narratifs conduisent à des conflits internes supplémentaires et exacerbent le stress, l'anxiété et entraînent souvent des comportements destructeurs.

  • Quel rôle jouent les proches des personnes avec ces troubles dans leurs narratifs ?

    Les proches sont souvent forcés de jouer un rôle dans les narratifs, devenant des "acteurs" dans le récit qui vise à valider la vision de l'individu avec le trouble.

  • Comment la projection des narratifs affecte-t-elle les relations ?

    Cela génère de la tension et peut mener à la rupture des relations, car les proches peuvent se sentir accablés et manipulés.

  • Quelle est la conséquence de refuser de participer à ces narratifs ?

    Le refus entraîne souvent des réactions de colère, des punitions, voire des comportements destructeurs de la part de la personne avec un trouble.

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    we all have
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    narratives pieces of fiction stories
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    about ourselves other people in our
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    lives the environment our society
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    culture personal history General history
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    our nation we
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    surrounded by an Ambiance of dozens of
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    stories and we comport
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    ourselves we direct our conduct we
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    experience
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    reality everything subjective and
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    objective is mediated via these
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    narratives these story boards determine
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    not only who we are but also how we
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    behave what we think how we
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    emote narratives are very powerful
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    organizing structural
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    principles but as usual
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    as usual with patients with cluster B
  • 00:01:02
    personality disorders there's a problem
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    with the
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    narrative whereas each and every one of
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    us has a dominant narrative at any given
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    time narratives can change but at any
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    given time regarding a specific issue a
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    specific person a specific situation a
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    specific circumstance we have a dominant
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    narrative and that narrative dictates
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    everything
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    organizes makes sense of life imbus it
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    with meaning and directs us guides us
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    provides purpose aims and goals one
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    narrative at a
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    time people would not with cluster B
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    personality disorders have multiple
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    simultaneous
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    narratives they have if you wish a
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    fragmented narrative landscape
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    and a propo fragmented my name is s
  • 00:02:02
    vaknin I am a professor of Clinical
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    Psychology and the author about the
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    author of the first book about
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    narcissistic abuse ever malignant
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    self-love narcissism Revisited and with
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    this particular narrative let's delve
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    right in Deep
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    dive people with
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    disorganized erratic personalities
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    also known as cluster B
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    personalities personality disorders the
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    very word disorder tells you everything
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    you need to know these people create
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    simultaneous but mutually exclusive
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    narratives of Their Lives why do they do
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    that why healthy normal people have a
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    single dominant narrative at any given
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    time and find it more than adequate more
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    than sufficient while people with
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    cluster B personality disorders need to
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    come up with a plethora with a
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    multiplicity of narratives and what's
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    worse these narratives are incompatible
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    they don't sit well together
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    ironically the reason cluster B
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    disordered people do that is because
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    they experience constantly dis
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    mons personality disorders especially
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    cluster B personality disorders are
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    forms of an inner battle an internal
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    conflict which is
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    unresolvable in any normal way in any
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    healthy way because the roots and
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    foundations of this conflict this
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    internal conflict are pathological
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    they're not embedded actually in
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    reality so what happens is whenever
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    The Narcissist or the borderline the
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    psychopath or the hisonic and even I
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    would add the schizoid and schizoo and
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    the paranoid whenever they feel torn
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    apart by internal conflict what they do
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    they come up with multiple narratives
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    each narrative caters to a horn of the
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    Dilemma each narrative caters to one of
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    the Waring factions each narrative
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    adheres to and is intended to somehow
  • 00:04:34
    mitigate and amarate the conflict and
  • 00:04:37
    the anxiety so each each narrative
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    aderes to a specific combatant a
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    specific participants participant in the
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    conflict so people with cluster B
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    personality disorders and other
  • 00:04:50
    personality disorders I've mentioned
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    they constantly generate narratives they
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    are like The Neverending Story they they
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    constantly come up with narratives
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    constantly come up with plots and
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    storylines and conspiracies and so on so
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    forth all of these are intended to make
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    sense of the feeling of dissonant
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    conflict within them if you have three
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    narratives and each of these narratives
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    takes care of another element in the
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    conflict another side or party to the
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    conflict then somehow perhaps you can
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    restore inner piece equilibrium and
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    homeostasis but these narratives as I've
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    said represent different sides of a
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    conflict the consequences that these
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    narratives don't fit together they tend
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    to negate each other contradict each
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    other undermine each other challenge
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    each other and paradoxically what
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    happens is the the narratives are
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    intended to somehow control the internal
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    conflict somehow ameliorate it mitigate
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    it reduce it reframe it do something
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    about it and yet the narratives
  • 00:06:14
    themselves generate secondary conflicts
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    the narratives themselves Clash the
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    narratives themselves break the
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    personality even further
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    fragmented as so many hand
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    grenades and
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    so while originally they meant to manage
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    dissonance they actually Ed to it and
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    generate generate new clashes new
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    skirmishes new dissonances both
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    internal and external with reality
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    because many of these narratives are
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    counterfactual they're not grounded they
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    don't derive from any observation of
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    facts from any theorizing about the
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    external World many of these people
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    people with clust Tob personality
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    disorders are unable to gauge and
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    appraise reality
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    correctly or they are unable to
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    recognize the externality and
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    separateness of other people they're
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    unable to other them othering failure
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    and so these narratives are divorced
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    from reality and external and internal
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    and they clash with reality external and
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    internal and this adds to the tension
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    the stress and the anxiety rather than
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    reduce them these narratives are not
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    anxiolytic on the very contrary they
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    generate depression anxiety acting out
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    aggression externalized and
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    internalized and they may lead
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    ultimately to substance abuse and other
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    forms of self-destructiveness this
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    narrative
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    are the equivalent of self States in my
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    work and the equivalent equivalent of
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    multiple personalities in the old
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    conception of dissociative identity
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    disorders it's there are kind these
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    narratives are kind of sub personalities
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    they have a life of their own they are
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    like ego States or self States they have
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    a life of their own they have their own
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    Dynamics they have a beginning and an
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    end they have a history and they
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    generate
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    internal processes
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    psychodynamics that lead to outcomes
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    behavioral outcomes emotional outcomes
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    cognitive outcomes and so these
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    narratives are not passive they are
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    proactive Dynamic entities you can
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    imagine the internal mess and chaos and
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    Havoc that this creates are magedon
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    personified
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    examples of such
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    narratives I am not disordered I am
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    perfectly normal that's a narrative or I
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    have a loving family or I'm a good
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    person or I'm a bad person I'm a
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    psychopath or I'm promiscuous or I'm
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    capable of great love these are all
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    narratives what happens when these
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    narratives are undermined by reality to
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    such an extent then that no amount of
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    filtering and no number of
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    membranes and no form of active
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    dissociation and denial
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    work reality is too much intrudes
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    invades and overwhelms The Narrative The
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    Narrative collapses what happens when
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    this what happens then what's the next
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    step when these narratives collapse
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    the disordered the personality
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    disordered
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    person allocates the narratives to other
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    people he kind kind of gets rid of them
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    by projecting them or actually more
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    precisely he uses or she uses projective
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    identification the person with
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    personality disorder the patient with
  • 00:10:21
    personality disorder has multiple
  • 00:10:24
    narratives they're counterfactual
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    they're not grounded in reality and they
  • 00:10:28
    often collapse
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    under their own weight they are so
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    fictional so imaginary so
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    exaggerated that sooner or later they
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    crumble in the face of evidence or owing
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    to some interaction with someone this is
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    known as narcissistic
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    modification sooner or later these
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    narratives
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    collapse disintegrate reduce to
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    dust what the personality disordered
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    person does he takes these narratives
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    and he forces them on people around him
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    he's nearest he's dearest his closest
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    his family Circle his friends his
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    colleagues you name it he forces these
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    narratives on other people in his Ambit
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    in his
  • 00:11:18
    environment but it not only attributes
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    these narratives to these people he not
  • 00:11:24
    only projects these narratives onto
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    these people he coerces them to behave
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    according to the narrative he blackmails
  • 00:11:33
    them he threatens them he tortures them
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    he abuses them he cajs them he begs them
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    he he would do anything for these people
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    to adopt the discarded narratives and
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    act accordingly as if they were actors
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    or actresses in some theater production
  • 00:11:55
    or some
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    movie The Narcissist shared fantasy is
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    exactly such an example it is the
  • 00:12:04
    outcome of a collapse of a narrative
  • 00:12:06
    there's a collapse narrative and then
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    what the narcissist does he imposes this
  • 00:12:11
    collapse narrative on a potential
  • 00:12:14
    intimate partner and she is supposed to
  • 00:12:18
    conform the intimate partner is supposed
  • 00:12:20
    to comply with a narrative imposed on on
  • 00:12:24
    her or on
  • 00:12:26
    him the intimate partners of the
  • 00:12:29
    narcissist are supposed to
  • 00:12:31
    become become elements in the script in
  • 00:12:35
    the narrative they are supposed to
  • 00:12:38
    fictionalize themselves to render
  • 00:12:41
    themselves abstract entities plot
  • 00:12:46
    lines so the role of these people these
  • 00:12:50
    actors is to validate the reality of the
  • 00:12:54
    narratives and this is of course the
  • 00:12:56
    same function like narcissistic suppli
  • 00:12:59
    in narcissistic personality disorder
  • 00:13:02
    external validation external validation
  • 00:13:05
    which allows for internal regulation
  • 00:13:08
    anaris is harvests or Garners Supply
  • 00:13:13
    attention admiration adulation being
  • 00:13:15
    feared whatever attention mainly he
  • 00:13:18
    Garners it he harvests
  • 00:13:20
    it and then he uses it as input as
  • 00:13:25
    Supply as fuel as
  • 00:13:27
    feedback to towards the in the
  • 00:13:30
    maintenance of an internal
  • 00:13:32
    homeostatic uh environment in
  • 00:13:36
    equilibrium it's the same with the
  • 00:13:39
    narratives the narratives that have
  • 00:13:42
    failed when the when the person with
  • 00:13:44
    personality disorder has experienced a
  • 00:13:48
    collapse or a failure of a narrative he
  • 00:13:51
    then attributes projects The Narrative
  • 00:13:54
    into someone in his immediate immediate
  • 00:13:57
    envir environs so someone like a child
  • 00:14:01
    or a spouse or a colleague or a friend
  • 00:14:03
    and so on he he imposes or superimposes
  • 00:14:09
    the narrative on that person he forces
  • 00:14:12
    or coerces that person to behave
  • 00:14:14
    according to the narrative that is
  • 00:14:16
    projective
  • 00:14:18
    identification and the aim of all this
  • 00:14:20
    the purpose of all this convoluted and
  • 00:14:22
    elaborate
  • 00:14:23
    mechanism is to reestablish The
  • 00:14:26
    Narrative to revalidate the
  • 00:14:29
    narrative to prove that the narrative is
  • 00:14:32
    still
  • 00:14:34
    functional still applies still
  • 00:14:38
    useful
  • 00:14:39
    so the
  • 00:14:41
    actors
  • 00:14:43
    reenact The Narrative
  • 00:14:46
    replayed in a way that allows the
  • 00:14:49
    personality disordered person to regain
  • 00:14:53
    trust in the Fidelity authenticity
  • 00:14:57
    validity and applicability of the
  • 00:15:01
    narrative now the
  • 00:15:04
    actors react badly to this the vast
  • 00:15:07
    majority of actors react badly even
  • 00:15:10
    actors who have willingly submitted to a
  • 00:15:14
    a fantasy a shared fantasy or a
  • 00:15:17
    narrative even actors who sought it
  • 00:15:21
    actively wanted to fit in wanted to
  • 00:15:24
    conform wanted to join the cult you know
  • 00:15:27
    even such actors in due time feel the
  • 00:15:32
    honorous
  • 00:15:34
    outcomes of living someone else's
  • 00:15:37
    life of having to cater to someone
  • 00:15:40
    else's need needs ceaselessly of having
  • 00:15:44
    to suspend one's
  • 00:15:47
    existence and of having to pretend and
  • 00:15:52
    to fake most of the time these are
  • 00:15:55
    demands which are which are excruciating
  • 00:15:59
    so the actors gradually fall
  • 00:16:02
    apart then the presence of the person
  • 00:16:05
    with personality
  • 00:16:06
    disorder is
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    burdensome becomes
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    intolerable
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    suffocating um the imposition of the
  • 00:16:17
    narratives by the personality disordered
  • 00:16:20
    person is a form of
  • 00:16:24
    strangulation mental
  • 00:16:27
    asphixiation the denial of
  • 00:16:30
    Liberty uh absconding with the person's
  • 00:16:34
    core identity emptying the person
  • 00:16:37
    voiding and negating the actor within
  • 00:16:42
    the projected sh sh fantasy or narrative
  • 00:16:46
    so the people who are sucked into the
  • 00:16:50
    black hole that is the narcissist or the
  • 00:16:53
    Bine sucked into this narrative
  • 00:16:57
    management system the people who
  • 00:17:00
    become um actors and actresses in a
  • 00:17:03
    script not of their making not of their
  • 00:17:05
    doing the people who are coerced into
  • 00:17:09
    existing in someone else's narrative and
  • 00:17:12
    fantasy and storyboard and movie and
  • 00:17:15
    theater play the people who are denuded
  • 00:17:19
    of autonomy personal autonomy
  • 00:17:21
    Independence Agency the capability to
  • 00:17:24
    make decisions and choices which are
  • 00:17:28
    independent of the personality
  • 00:17:30
    disordered Focus or
  • 00:17:33
    Center these people ultimately begin to
  • 00:17:37
    dissociate because it's a very very
  • 00:17:40
    traumatic experience
  • 00:17:42
    self-denial self self- negation self
  • 00:17:47
    viation self
  • 00:17:49
    Erasure just in order to become a
  • 00:17:52
    figment an element in someone else's
  • 00:17:55
    story that's a harrowing experience and
  • 00:17:58
    it leads to trauma and Trauma the
  • 00:18:01
    defense against trauma one of the
  • 00:18:04
    defenses is
  • 00:18:05
    dissociation
  • 00:18:07
    depersonalization derealization within
  • 00:18:10
    the fantasy within the narrative this is
  • 00:18:13
    not happening to me I am here in body
  • 00:18:16
    but not in mind or this is not real it's
  • 00:18:20
    all make belief or I completely forget
  • 00:18:23
    everything the minute it happens these
  • 00:18:25
    are all Amnesia these are all diso
  • 00:18:28
    creative defenses because these
  • 00:18:33
    actors are
  • 00:18:35
    misperceived as internal objects
  • 00:18:37
    especially by narcissist and they're
  • 00:18:40
    misperceived as internal objects
  • 00:18:43
    offloading the narratives onto these
  • 00:18:46
    people unburdens the disordered person
  • 00:18:50
    remember the sequence there's a
  • 00:18:52
    narrative and suddenly The Narrative
  • 00:18:55
    fails fails for some reason collapses
  • 00:18:59
    crumbles at that point The Narrative
  • 00:19:02
    generates enormous enormous
  • 00:19:05
    dissonance enormous injury enormous
  • 00:19:09
    mortification and so the narcissist for
  • 00:19:13
    example let's take a narcissist as an
  • 00:19:14
    example but it applies to many other
  • 00:19:16
    personality disorders The Narcissist has
  • 00:19:19
    to reconstrue recreate reconstruct the
  • 00:19:23
    narrative and he asks someone else to do
  • 00:19:26
    it for him he coarses someone someone
  • 00:19:28
    else to do it for him by inducting that
  • 00:19:32
    person introducing this person into a
  • 00:19:34
    fantasy or a narrative and now this
  • 00:19:37
    person validates the narrative and the
  • 00:19:40
    fantasy in the case of a narcissist via
  • 00:19:42
    narcissistic Supply but validates the
  • 00:19:45
    narrative validates the fantasy suddenly
  • 00:19:48
    feels
  • 00:19:49
    real and because that person is
  • 00:19:53
    perceived as internal not
  • 00:19:57
    external then Nar convinces himself that
  • 00:20:01
    he is the one who has validated and
  • 00:20:04
    reestablished the
  • 00:20:06
    narrative that caters that appeals to
  • 00:20:09
    his sense of omnipotence on the other
  • 00:20:11
    hand if the narrative is ego distonic in
  • 00:20:15
    other other words if the narcissist for
  • 00:20:18
    example feels uncomfortable with the
  • 00:20:20
    narrative for some
  • 00:20:22
    reason that someone else now is in
  • 00:20:25
    possession of the narrative that someone
  • 00:20:27
    else now and acts The Narrative that
  • 00:20:30
    someone else now is settled settled and
  • 00:20:33
    burdened with the narrative relieves The
  • 00:20:37
    Narcissist this narrative that has
  • 00:20:40
    caused the narcissist discomfort despair
  • 00:20:44
    dissociation depression this narrative
  • 00:20:46
    is
  • 00:20:47
    gone it belongs to someone else now and
  • 00:20:51
    because that someone else is an internal
  • 00:20:56
    object The Narcissist still maintain
  • 00:20:58
    maintains control and possession of the
  • 00:21:00
    narrative without incurring the cost the
  • 00:21:05
    actions of the
  • 00:21:07
    actors the steps that the agents
  • 00:21:10
    take are owned by The Narcissist because
  • 00:21:14
    these people are internal objects they
  • 00:21:17
    figments of the narcissist mind they
  • 00:21:20
    live in the narcissist internal space so
  • 00:21:23
    whatever they
  • 00:21:24
    do within the narrative is actually p by
  • 00:21:28
    the narcissist is coming from the inside
  • 00:21:31
    as his or her own
  • 00:21:33
    actions so the these actions are owned
  • 00:21:36
    by the disordered person but without the
  • 00:21:39
    emotional cost without the attendant
  • 00:21:42
    risks without the adverse consequences
  • 00:21:45
    it's like experiencing The Narrative by
  • 00:21:49
    proxy the people who are now burdened
  • 00:21:53
    with the narrative the people who are
  • 00:21:55
    who have now the sole Authority over the
  • 00:21:59
    narrative not Authority but so
  • 00:22:00
    responsibility for the narrative these
  • 00:22:03
    people will suffer the
  • 00:22:05
    consequences they will carry the
  • 00:22:07
    risks and they will experience the
  • 00:22:10
    discomfort and displeasure that may
  • 00:22:12
    arise from The Narrative not the
  • 00:22:14
    narcissist and yet these people are
  • 00:22:18
    nothing but internal objects so the
  • 00:22:20
    narcissist still owns them still still
  • 00:22:24
    controls the whole situation he is the
  • 00:22:27
    sole Authority is is like God like God
  • 00:22:31
    who plays with elements in in his
  • 00:22:34
    creation it's exactly like the
  • 00:22:36
    relationship between God and Humanity
  • 00:22:39
    Humanity are agents that enact the
  • 00:22:43
    Divine narrative and yet it is not God
  • 00:22:47
    who has to die it is not God who has to
  • 00:22:50
    suffer in childbirth it is not God who
  • 00:22:53
    is tempted who is sad who is depressed
  • 00:22:56
    who commits suicide it's not God
  • 00:22:59
    while whatever happens to humanity is
  • 00:23:01
    The Narrative of God and happens within
  • 00:23:04
    the Godly realm happens within the
  • 00:23:07
    Divinity the consequences of the
  • 00:23:09
    narrative are born by Humanity not by
  • 00:23:13
    God this is exactly the narcissist
  • 00:23:16
    perception when the actors at some point
  • 00:23:20
    Rebel when they Rebel when they regain
  • 00:23:23
    Independence and agency and personal
  • 00:23:26
    autonomy The Narcissist or
  • 00:23:29
    the person with personality disorder
  • 00:23:31
    becomes infuriated feels threatened
  • 00:23:35
    converts these people who have defied
  • 00:23:39
    him and walked away converts them into
  • 00:23:42
    the secetary object the disordered
  • 00:23:45
    person experiences narcissistic
  • 00:23:49
    mortification and
  • 00:23:51
    then having been abandoned and rejected
  • 00:23:55
    by his agents by his long arms
  • 00:23:59
    by the actors that were supposed to take
  • 00:24:01
    over the
  • 00:24:02
    narratives and reenact them and activate
  • 00:24:07
    them
  • 00:24:08
    dynamically when there's this kind of
  • 00:24:11
    massive
  • 00:24:12
    abandonment the disordered person adopts
  • 00:24:15
    one of two strategies he tries or
  • 00:24:18
    attempts to hover these
  • 00:24:20
    people to hover
  • 00:24:23
    them and to
  • 00:24:25
    coopt any anyone new in their
  • 00:24:29
    lives so the person with personality
  • 00:24:32
    disorder would try to caj and persuade
  • 00:24:36
    and convince and charm and would try
  • 00:24:40
    anything to get the actor of the
  • 00:24:43
    narrative back and if the actor the
  • 00:24:47
    actor of the narrative has another new
  • 00:24:49
    person in his or her
  • 00:24:51
    life the person with personality
  • 00:24:54
    disorder will try to befriend them try
  • 00:24:57
    to create a coalition with who try to
  • 00:24:59
    insinuate
  • 00:25:01
    himself into that person's life who try
  • 00:25:05
    to intrude take over assimilate somehow
  • 00:25:10
    the actor and the new people in the
  • 00:25:13
    actor's life this is one strategy Mega
  • 00:25:16
    overy if you wish and the second
  • 00:25:20
    strategy um should this strategy fail
  • 00:25:24
    the second strategy is try to destroy
  • 00:25:26
    the frustrating object the
  • 00:25:29
    actor destroy her destroy her or him
  • 00:25:33
    physically destroy the reputation
  • 00:25:37
    destroy their lives interfere intervene
  • 00:25:40
    undermine and sabotage etc
  • 00:25:43
    etc so
  • 00:25:45
    when the narcissist has allocated a
  • 00:25:48
    narrative to you when he has made you an
  • 00:25:51
    integral part of his Shar fantasy when a
  • 00:25:54
    the personality disordered person a
  • 00:25:57
    paranoid psychopath uh skitto borderline
  • 00:26:02
    histrionic when someone with a
  • 00:26:04
    personality disorder has allocated The
  • 00:26:06
    Narrative to
  • 00:26:08
    you has made you in charge the manager
  • 00:26:13
    the director of The
  • 00:26:14
    Narrative you can't walk
  • 00:26:17
    away you're not allowed to walk away
  • 00:26:19
    unless you're being devalued and
  • 00:26:21
    discarded but you're not allowed to have
  • 00:26:23
    agency personal autonomy independent
  • 00:26:26
    decision making you're not allowed to
  • 00:26:29
    make choices you are cap you're captive
  • 00:26:32
    captive within the narrative you're
  • 00:26:35
    hostage The Narrative hijacks you and if
  • 00:26:39
    you do exit the narrative and if you do
  • 00:26:41
    abandon the narrative or sabotage The
  • 00:26:44
    Narrative or challenge it or undermine
  • 00:26:46
    it or transform it or reframe it or just
  • 00:26:50
    walk away and break up or whatever you
  • 00:26:53
    become an
  • 00:26:55
    enemy and the the
  • 00:26:58
    the perpetrator of the narrative the
  • 00:27:01
    instigator of the narrative the author
  • 00:27:03
    of The Narrative that has been imposed
  • 00:27:06
    on you tries to hover you tries to get
  • 00:27:10
    you back to your old position and old
  • 00:27:13
    role and if there's baggage with you new
  • 00:27:17
    people in your life you just got married
  • 00:27:18
    you have children I don't know what the
  • 00:27:21
    narcissist or the psychopath or the
  • 00:27:23
    borderlines they will try to coopt these
  • 00:27:26
    people they will try to introduce these
  • 00:27:27
    people into the narrative as
  • 00:27:30
    well only if all this
  • 00:27:33
    fails do you become the avow enemy of
  • 00:27:37
    the personality disordered person and
  • 00:27:40
    then there's a panopoly of behaviors
  • 00:27:43
    stalking smear campaigns threats
  • 00:27:46
    attempts to recruit law
  • 00:27:48
    enforcement with false accusations I
  • 00:27:50
    mean you name it the panoply of
  • 00:27:52
    strategies and behaviors intended to
  • 00:27:55
    punish you to punish you for having
  • 00:27:59
    absconded with the narcissist narrative
  • 00:28:00
    for having abandoned The Narcissist for
  • 00:28:03
    having betrayed your destiny your role
  • 00:28:08
    and your
  • 00:28:09
    function this is the narrative way of
  • 00:28:12
    looking at the progression and unfolding
  • 00:28:15
    of personality
  • 00:28:18
    disorders their narratives their stories
  • 00:28:22
    that the disordered person tells
  • 00:28:24
    himself but even this is done so
  • 00:28:28
    dysfunctionally and in such a fragmented
  • 00:28:31
    and fractured
  • 00:28:32
    manner that the personality disordered
  • 00:28:35
    person has not choice but to introduce
  • 00:28:37
    others into the game in order to somehow
  • 00:28:41
    restore a semblance of order and
  • 00:28:44
    structure and meaning and sense into the
  • 00:28:46
    whole mess and if you decline this
  • 00:28:51
    irresistible
  • 00:28:53
    offer you will be punished severely
Tags
  • troubles de la personnalité
  • narratifs
  • psychologie
  • narcissisme
  • projection
  • dissonance cognitive
  • conflits internes
  • dynamique des relations