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I have this four-step method that I use
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to stay motivated and get stuff done
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especially on the days where I feel
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tired or lazy or even burnt out over the
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past 11 years I have been working 60 to
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100 hours a week studying full-time
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graduating medicine starting my own
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business working as a learning coach
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while working as a doctor and most
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people think I am highly motivated but
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honestly I think I'm a pretty lazy
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person and I've been demotivated and
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burnt out more times than I can count
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but by using this four-step method I've
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been able to stay productive and work
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towards my goal in a way that is
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actually sustainable and mentally
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healthy I call this four-step method
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defuse because by following each of
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these four steps you're able to activate
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something called thought action defusion
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which is a cognitive technique commonly
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used in Clinical Psychology being able
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to activate thought action defusion is
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almost like a superpower and virtually
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anyone can learn to do it I'll go over
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each of the four steps of defuse in more
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detail but before that we need to
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understand that there are actually two
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different ways that we can use
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motivation one of them is healthy and
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productive but the other much more
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common way can actually ruin our
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productivity and lead to burnout and
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once we understand the right versus
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wrong way of using motivation you'll see
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why the defuse method works so well so
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let's say that we have a goal for the
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day and that goal might be to go for a
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run it might be to do some study or
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whatever other task that you have on
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your mind naturally in order for us to
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accomplish this goal we first need to
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want to accomplish it and that's where
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we have intention and after that we take
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a series of actions to help us reach
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that goal now if our goal was to uh go
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for a run it might be putting on our
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shoes if it was to study it might be
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going to our desk opening up our laptop
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getting our textbook out starting to
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read and write some notes these are the
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actions that help us achieve the goal
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but in reality what actually happens
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when we try to reach the goal what
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happens is that we get
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distracted we procrastinate or maybe we
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start feeling lazy or tired so between
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the intention and our first few actions
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all of these barriers start forming that
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stop us from achieving our goal which
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means no running no studying task
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incomplete that is where motivation
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comes in motivation gives us that extra
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energy the extra incentive to overcome
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these barriers to peel our eyes away
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from those distractions to uh persevere
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and push through even though we feel
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lazy or that we feel tired at the end of
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the day motivation is this feeling that
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allows us to push through and overcome
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these barriers this is the first and
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most common way that people use
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motivation and that is a major problem
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because this way of using motivation is
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something that I call
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motivation dependent and before I go
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through the defuse method you have to
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understand why this is such a problem
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because I genuinely believe that if you
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are motivation dependent you will
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struggle to get stuff done for most of
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your life because here's the fundamental
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flaw with motivation that you need to
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know there's a lot of research around
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motiv a what it is where it comes from
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what influences it if you want me to go
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deeper in this let me know in the
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comments but what we know is that
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motivation originates from many
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different sources we can be
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extrinsically motivated by things like
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money a reward social status or even
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fear of punishment but we can also be
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intrinsically motivated which is where
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the motivation comes from within our own
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mind this includes things like a sense
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of satisfaction from fulfilling
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something or a sense of purpose and
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fulfillment from doing something that
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feels aligned to your values and sense
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of identity and it includes also just
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simply enjoying the task itself and here
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is where being motivation dependent
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becomes problematic and therefore why
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the defuse method is so much better see
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extrinsic motivators tend to be out of
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our control and they go up and down for
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example what happens if we get paid paid
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less or more or we're around different
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people to compare ourselves to or we're
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around different people who value
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different things and so they judge you
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differently when we are motivated by
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those extrinsic things then our
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motivation fluctuates wildly it feels
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unstable and insecure because they
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depend on things that we can't control
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on the other hand intrinsic motivators
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tend to be more stable for example our
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values or the things that we enjoy don't
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tend to FL uate so rapidly but even
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intrinsic motivators can fluctuate for
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example how much sleep we get and how
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energized we feel our mood on that day
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or our physical health all of these
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things affect our level of motivation on
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any given day so why is that actually a
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problem well what all of that means is
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that our motivation is always going to
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go up and down it's always going to
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fluctuate and if you're AB ility to get
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stuff done depends on your motivation
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then your ability to be productive is
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also going to fluctuate and if what you
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do depends on how you feel then the only
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way to be consistent is to feel
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consistently great that is not a
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realistic or a reliable way to reach our
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goals in fact there's even some research
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around something called willpower
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depletion which says that if we
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consistently rely on our motivation and
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willpower to get stuff done and resist
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Temptations then eventually we'll sort
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of run out of willpower and some
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researchers think that this is actually
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what burnout is they call it the burnout
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cycle where you constantly try to do
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something and then you have to have more
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and more effort and willpower to get it
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done and then you're constantly
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overcoming barriers until there's no
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more motivation or energy left to give
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so what is the alternative way of using
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motivation the alternative much
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healthier and more consistent way of
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using motivation is something that I
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call motivation enhanced and becoming
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motivation enhanced rather than
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motivation dependent is what the entire
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defuse method is based on being
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motivation enhanced means that you can
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be motivated but you don't need to be
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personally I don't feel motivated most
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days I don't feel demotivated but I just
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don't live every day like full of hype I
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keep that motivation in reserve on the
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days that I really need to use it
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instead of just using it to get through
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my daily tasks then how am I overcoming
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those barriers of laziness or being
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distracted or feeling tired on a daily
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basis we do it by following the four
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steps of the defuse method the first
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step of Defuse The D is for distinguish
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distinguish means to recognize the
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difference between
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feelings thoughts
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and
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actions for example think about when you
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feel hungry hunger is a physical
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sensation it's a feeling and when we
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feel hunger we have the thought I must
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eat and then we perform the action of
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eating and normally all three of these
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are actually fused together but they
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don't have to be we could feel hunger as
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okay I just feel this sensation in my
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stomach that tells me that I am hungry
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we just notice that we don't have to act
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on it we just notice it just like how we
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might notice that there's a breeze
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touching our arm and by doing that we
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can see Hunger as a physical Sensation
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that isn't always connected to the
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thought I must eat and that actually
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makes the feeling of hunger not bother
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us as much because we no longer have to
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do something about it this is actually
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strategy I used to use all the time as a
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doctor where I'd often not have enough
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time to have lunch or dinner but I still
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needed to work effectively now of course
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it this is temporary you will eventually
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have to eat you can't just thought
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action diffuse your way to immortality
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now in Clinical Psychology when what we
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do our actions are directly tie to our
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feelings and our thoughts that's called
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thought action fusion and so being able
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to separate that is thought action
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defusion this actually comes up a lot in
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anxiety y therapy the feelings of
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anxiety are a physical sensation our
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hands are getting clammy they're shaking
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a bit we feel that our heart racing
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we're actually feeling these physical
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symptoms of an adrenaline response our
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body entering the fight or flight mode
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and it's actually the exact same
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response as if you were really excited
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about something the physical Sensations
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aren't inherently negative but if you
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have anxiety you notice these symptoms
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and then you tell yourself I am anxious
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and we enter an anxious spiral where
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realizing that we are feeling these
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things and therefore we're anxious makes
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us feel even more anxious so step one of
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defuse is to distinguish between a
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feeling and a thought to recognize that
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we can feel something but we can control
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the way we respond and react to that
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feeling and I actually used this method
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before my Ted X talk a couple of years
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ago where I was feeling really nervous
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before I and I I felt those physical
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Sensations and instead of letting myself
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think I feel this and therefore I'm
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anxious I reframed it to be hey I'm
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getting this adrenaline response I'm
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excited I'm about to crush this thing
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and by reframing that physical feeling
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and changing the thought I had from it
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and actually helped me to be a lot more
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confident and that tedex talk ended up
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becoming one of the uh top 1% most
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viewed tedex talks of 2022 by the way
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way I've summarized the main points from
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that tedex talk into my free Weekly
00:10:34
Newsletter as well where I try to impart
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the advice that will improve your
00:10:39
learning efficiency every week through
00:10:42
your inbox it's completely free and if
00:10:44
you're interested in joining I'll leave
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a link in the description for you so
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next time you feel tired or lazy
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recognize that it's just a feeling you
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feel tired cool feeling lazy that's fine
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but we distinguish between that feeling
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and then what comes after that which is
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the thought which we can control and
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controlling those thoughts is step two
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of Defuse The if which stands for fake
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you've heard of fake it till you make it
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well it's kind of the same for this as
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well think about this when you watch a
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movie and you see an actor or an actress
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you know that they're not actually that
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character you know that they are acting
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and if an actor arrives on set feeling
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tired or lazy guess what they can still
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act like their character who is not
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tired or lazy so instead of I feel lazy
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and tired therefore I must rest and then
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not do anything we can use fake to say I
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feel lazy and tired that's fine I'm just
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going to pretend like someone who's not
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lazy and tired which means this feeling
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doesn't lead to the thought of I must
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rest we don't have to change how we feel
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we can keep feeling lazy or tired but by
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pretending and Faking It pretending and
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doing the actions of someone who doesn't
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feel that way we are able to keep doing
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the actions that we need to do my old
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powerlifting coach put at the best when
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one day I asked him hey I'm feeling
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really tired today I don't think I be
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have to train very well how do you stop
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feeling tired and he replied back just
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train tired what a man and the
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ridiculously powerful part of this
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relationship between feelings and
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thoughts and actions is that it goes
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both ways when we do the actions of
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someone who isn't lazy or tired even if
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it's just pretending and faking it then
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our mind observes the fact that we're
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taking these actions and starts thinking
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hey maybe I'm not so lazy maybe I'm kind
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of productive and that actually makes
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must feel less lazy and tired in the
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first place and in doing that we have
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actually made ourselves more motivated
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so feelings and thoughts don't just lead
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to actions actions can also trigger us
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to have certain thoughts which change
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the way that we feel so by doing step
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one and step two of defuse and unlocking
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thought action defusion we're able to
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act without feeling the need to act
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we're no longer a slave to motivation
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and that is a huge win but once we get
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to this point we'll realize that we can
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only maintain this defused state for a
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short period of time and so now we want
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to maintain this defusion for a longer
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time period if we don't maintain it we
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just end up being dependent on our
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feelings again which brings us all the
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way back to motivation dependent and
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that's why we have step three of Defuse
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The U which stands for uptime we want to
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gradually increase the amount of time
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we're able to activate that thought
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action defusion State and do those
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actions even if we don't feel like it at
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first we might only be able to get
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through 10 minutes of studying great
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that's fine tomorrow we try 12 minutes
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and then 14 and then 20 and then 30
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gradually increase the uptime that we
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can maintain thought action defusion for
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and as we continue to expose our brain
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to this pattern of thinking and acting
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thanks to this cognitive phenomenon
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called
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neuroplasticity our brain will mold and
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adapt and eventually just get better and
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better at activating thought action
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defusion now some people when I teach
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this to them they say that it seems like
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we're kind of training ourselves to
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become mindless robots it doesn't really
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feel natural or right but it's important
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to remember that a lot of our modernday
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challenges and goals and pressures are
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not natural to begin with back when we
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were living in caves and foraging for
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food we didn't come back to our campfire
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every night to sit an exam on the herbs
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that we forag and Cave person Society
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probably didn't care which cave
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University you went to most of our
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modernday goals and pressures are modern
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day creations and to meet these
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artificial demands while staying healthy
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we need to use these deliberate
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Frameworks and techniques to help
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overcome them using strategies like
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defuse is what gives us the freedom to
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live our lives in alignment to how we
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want to live and spend our time having
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said that just because we are constantly
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exposed to and surrounded by these
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artificial distractions doesn't mean we
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just have to sit there and struggle
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through them after all if there were
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just literally fewer barriers in place
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then it will be easier to achieve our
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goal which is why step four the Z in
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defuse is so important which stands for
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Zone to maintain consistency and reduce
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our need for motivation we have to
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create a zone of focus free from
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distraction and procrastination triggers
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a great technique I teach in my program
00:16:15
for this is the distraction cheat sheet
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do some work or study and anytime you
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get distracted write down on a piece of
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paper what it was you got distracted by
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try to be specific it could be the icon
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of an app that you saw on your desktop
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top or on your phone maybe it was a
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notification that you got or you saw a
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game controller sitting on the table
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then when you're feeling a little less
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lazy remove those distractions and
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triggers from your environment hack your
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game controller away remove apps from
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your home screen or deactivate accounts
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use app blockers like focused work and
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create a focused workspace with all of
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your study or work materials laid out
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there just ready for you to sit down and
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start over time your Zone of focus
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becomes an area that distractions cannot
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touch and by this point you've completed
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all four steps of diffuse you are
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motivation enhanced you are free from
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the shackles of motivation dependence
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you are never going to look for another
00:17:13
motivational video ever again now it's
00:17:14
not a magic pill it does take time to
00:17:17
practice this and get bitter at it but
00:17:19
it is a proven strategy that pretty much
00:17:21
anyone can do now if you found this
00:17:23
video helpful you'll also find my weekly
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00:17:30
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00:17:35
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00:17:39
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description thank you so much for
00:17:49
watching and I'll see you next time
