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hey Michelle how's it going today hey good Lindsay
good how are you great I have a question to start
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off our episode today okay all right so when did
you know that it was time to settle down and get
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married oo that's a good question when did I know
was well I I it's not so much that I knew it was
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time it was that I found the right person so I
I suppose in your 20s and 30s many people are
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looking to settle down uh that's a very general
statement so not not true for everybody but uh
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for my friends at least yeah and so of course
I was hoping to meet the right person but I
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wasn't going to settle down unless I met the right
person so yes I knew it was time to settle down
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because I met Dan and I wouldn't have settled
down for someone else so yes that's what about
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you Lindsay yeah I feel the same way it's really
about meeting the right person and then you just
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want to build a life with them it's not that in
my experience I just felt like it was time it's
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not about like I would still be okay to be single
now probably if I hadn't met the right person yeah
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yeah yes well this is all very sweet so guys we
have a listener question today that is going to
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lead us to many topics but I chose one for today
that I'm excited about it's a it's a good vocab
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grammar episode that goes along with dating so
yes before we get to that question guys we've
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been doing these real fun Spotify key polls where
we ask you a question at the end of the episode
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and you are able to interact with us if you are
listening on Spotify you can see that poll and
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give us your answer and then we always give a
future update when we look at the results and
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you can see what you guys say so this is this
is fun so definitely listen until the end and
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give you that question yeah coming up get ready to
vote and voice your opinion on our poll coming up
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so first we have a question this question comes
from Ry very simple question right Michelle what
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did Ry ask Ry said hi I want to know about the
English use for dating so he wants to know about
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English for dating so very very good question um
and this this will be a fun one because we it can
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take us in a lot of a lot of directions for sure
and we've spoken a lot about dating on the show
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before uh so definitely take a search for that
even recently we did something on May December
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relationships and yeah so in general lots of other
all year English episodes to listen to head on
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over we also did F 2192 what about diamonds how
to approach controversial topics in English not
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about dating but diamonds are often dating and
Diamond diamonds are involved with dating and
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marriage sometimes right exactly exactly so we are
going to do dating phrasal verbs today we know you
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guys want to learn more phrasal verbs this is
important so these are super important when it
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comes to dating or other topics as well but we're
going to keep it to dating today for Ray yes I
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love it I love it getting into because when it
comes to dating we're having these conversations
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with our friends in English maybe about the
person we're dating or about our relationship
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we're going to need casual vocabulary which is
phrasal verbs right Michelle yeah and these are
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super common all of these ones that we're
teaching you today these are I think some
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of the most common phrasal verbs we've taught uh
so we're gonna get into it and it's kind of fun
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because they go in a little bit of an order so we
can talk through them so all right let's get to
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it Lindsay what's the first one all right so the
first one would be to ask out to ask someone out
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right and so we separate this phrasal verb and
this is to see if someone wants to go on a date
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with you right what would be a sample sentence
talking about asking someone out yeah right I
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want to ask her out but I'm nervous yeah that's
normal right exactly exactly so once you've asked
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someone out and they say yes you will go out
go out so this is to actually go on the date
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or even even sometimes go out is just used for
that you're seeing someone for a longer time oh
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we've been going out for we've been going out
right right two different meanings in that way
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yeah do you ever hear people just a side bonus
do you ever hear people saying I'm talking to
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this person do you ever hear that I never
really knew that when I was dating but it
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is a thing I don't know if that's a regional
thing or where it comes from or oldfashioned
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thing I'm not exactly sure but to be talking
to someone my sense is to be talking to someone
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I don't know for sure but I feel like it must
be something that came up more recently because
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we have so many ways of just talking to someone
over the Internet just texting with someone it's
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I don't know it's interesting that's another thing
with online dating because sometimes people spend
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so much time talking to someone and they're just
either maybe they're talking on the phone maybe
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they're just writing back and forth for a very
long time and they don't meet the person for
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a long time some people meet right away right
right right yeah know different styles for that
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but I have read recently that the online dating
sites are struggling oh in terms of funding and
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just there hasn't been a lot of innovation in the
space in the last five years or seven years uh so
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they're just kind of humming along and plateauing
or losing market share probably because of social
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media people just direct messaging on Instagram
or Tik Tok now things like that is sort of taking
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market share from you know Match.com and all of
those sites right okay Cupid yeah right yeah so
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uh for example go out so you could say uh well I'm
actually doing the past tense with I went out with
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this guy last night we actually had a lot of fun
I think I may see him again nice yes okay love it
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very simple and it's yeah it's reserved for when
you're dating someone uh to go out going out with
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a you could say I'm physically going out with my
friends tonight right but when you use it in this
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way it's just someone you're dating right exactly
yes and then maybe you've been going out with this
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person for a while and now you have to decide what
you're going to put up with now is when things get
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real right yes so Lindsay what is put up with me
all right so to endure so what are you willing to
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put up with so for example I can put up with loud
with his loud chewing but I can't put up with his
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nasty attitude oh boy yeah so it comes a point in
a relationship when you're going out with someone
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you where you have to decide is this going to go
further or not and nobody's perfect but you have
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to decide what can I put up with is there any
trait that I don't like something that's really
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a red flag so yeah you have to decide what you're
willing to put up with it's funny at the concert I
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was at last night the someone came out as like the
introductory person that kind of builds the crowd
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they were kind of talking to the crowd and there
was a someone that you know he said oh you know
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who are you here with oh my wife and where's your
wife she's like across the concert on the other
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side he said that's the secret to a happy marriage
being as far away from each other as you can
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that's funny at my wedding my father-in-law told
a joke about he he was talking about he it was in
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his speech I can't remember why but it was funny
he said oh for that my mother-in-law he said oh
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that one of the their secrets for a good marriage
is they they have a date night every week and you
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know where where they go out and they do something
that really helps keep the marriage going she goes
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out on Tuesdays and I go on on Thursdays that's
hilarious that's hilarious love that but you're so
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you're saying they don't go out together they we
have a DAT night with ourselves or somebody else
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I love that it sounds like a great speech actually
yeah it was pretty funny okay Michelle there's a
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few more right so settle down is what I asked you
at the top of the show getting married or doing
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a domestic partnership being with one person
deciding this is the person that's going to be
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your person right yep so I like him but he's just
not ready ready to settle down I need someone more
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serious and mature yeah for sure for sure and then
breakup so we're going through all the all the all
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the steps here so you're either going to settle
down or you're going to break up so to break up
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is to end the relationship ooh yeah okay so for
example we broke up I can't believe it after two
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years ouch yes yeah it happens and yep and then
after you break up at some point you have to move
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on so to move on is either to emotionally heal
basically or to actually go out with somebody else
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to date somebody else so Lindsay what do you think
with moving on from a relationship it can be hard
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yeah it really depends on you know in terms of how
long it takes it's hard uh I think it depends on
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how important that person was right um so what is
it I think there's some kind I've heard there's
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some kind of saying that it takes a certain
number of months based on how many years you were
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together so I don't know yeah there is something
I I know what you're talking about but I can't
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think of what it is either a little math equation
yes yes exactly but the example would be it's time
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to move on I think it's I'm ready to date again
yeah it's just to get past to to finally open your
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heart to someone new or just even if you're not
going to it just may you're not going to drown in
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your Sorrows anymore basically yeah for sure for
sure and we all go through this at some point in
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life right uh and moving on is key and and what's
that expression Time Heals all wounds I feel like
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that's what people will tell you especially people
who are older when you go through a breakup when
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you're young in English they'll say Time Heals all
wounds which and you true it I I actually do think
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that it's true but when you're in the moment
you can't you can't fathom that you would ever
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feel better that's true yeah it's so hard to hear
that when you when you are in the moment but it is
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actually true looking back on things um time does
heal all wounds Michelle that's true so Guys these
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are really good connect for connection and now
we're going to get into our key poll before we
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do a role play so we want to hear from you about
moving on Lindsay what what's our question on the
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key poll so here's our key poll so guys you have
to be listening over in spottify to participate in
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this key poll and we're going to ask you how long
does it take to move on on from a relationship so
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you just tell us your opinion right is it a week
is it 1 to 3 months is it more than 6 months or
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is it more than a year right what do you think
right yes I definitely want to hear what you have
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to say of course it's different for different
context sometimes you might be able to move on
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quickly sometimes not so much but just think of
your general answer yes I love it and as you're
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thinking about that guys you know make your vote
and then let's go into a role play here all right
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so you just broke up with your boyfriend and I
am your friend I'm here to be your shoulder to
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cry on yes well thank you very much okay so here
we go so it's over what you broke up yeah I know
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it's a shock I thought you were going to settle
down together me too but there were things I just
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couldn't put up with anymore actually someone
from work asked me out I'm just not ready to go
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out with someone new oh yes I'm so sorry that's
understandable one day you'll be ready to move
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on exactly yeah but I doubt that you would say
exactly yeah I don't think so I'm never that's
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true I no way yeah you're right you're right
Lindsay yeah yeah yeah it's true it's the wiser
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version of yourself that saying that yeah right
I know it's true but I'm not willing to accept
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it really yet yeah exactly so in this role play
we used these phrasal verbs that you guys really
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want to nail these nail these phrasal verbs to get
into these real conversations right about these
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everyday things that we all go through right
so for example you said it's over and I said
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what you broke up and again that means ending a
relationship right right right and then you said I
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thought you were going to settle down together so
you thought maybe we would get married or just be
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together forever right right exactly and then you
said me too but there were things I just couldn't
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put up with anymore and I think that put up with
also can go outside of the dating world right
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right uh maybe something your friends do or your
family members do you can't put up with it okay
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right so something has to end something has to
change uh and then I said actually someone from
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work asked me out so they wanted to go on a date
with me yeah and then you said but I'm just not
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ready to go out with someone new and again that
means date someone new and then you said that's
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understandable one day you will be ready to move
on yes oh my gosh any final thoughts here Michelle
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on dating conversations I mean most people date
at some point in their life so I feel like this
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is a very connect connection-based conversation
that we could have now about dating yeah people
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talk about dating all the time it's a huge it's
a huge connection topic whether you're dating
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currently or you're sharing stories from the past
with someone so many different times where you
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can have these conversations and I would like to
do more about dating yeah especially with raised
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question um so we can talk about how to how to
talk about a past relationship oh I like that
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idea Michelle yeah lots of different things
that we can talk about so here we gave you a
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lot of vocab with the phrasal verbs these are
going to be very useful for you these are not
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uncommon these are very very common you will
hear them when people talk about relationships
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so give these a try and I just want to say to
anybody if you are going through some sort of
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of break up some sort of heartbreak we're with you
we've all been there and we're time does heal all
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wounds and I know you don't want to hear it from
us right now but we just hope that soon you'll be
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ready to move on and but take your time don't do
don't move on too quickly yeah just be a rebound
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just know that you're not alone you know everyone
experiences heartbreak at some point in their
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lives we've both experienced it and it is hard
right and so yeah it's hard but the whole world
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has experienced what you're experiencing right
now if you're going through heartbreak Michelle
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this is turning into a therapy session forers I
know oh I love it but anyways guys if you love
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our style of focus on connection not Perfection
and connection moments in English then hit the
00:15:47
follow button on allers English so that you don't
miss a single episode from us all right okay this
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was fun guys I will talk to you later Lindsay
all right talk soon Michelle take care bye right
