Do I Need a Break From Social Media? | Ali Hammuda

00:57:22
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T9Ee4XWiWE

Résumé

TLDRIl video discute l'evoluzione della comunicazione, concentrandosi sull'impatto di internet e dei social media. Mette in evidenza come, negli ultimi cent'anni, le modalità di comunicazione siano cambiate drasticamente a livello globale, con internet e i social media che consentono comunicazioni rapide e diffuse. Il discorso esplora i benefici di queste tecnologie, come la diffusione di conoscenze islamiche e collegamenti globali, ma anche i pericoli, tra cui dipendenza, isolamento sociale e la perdita di introspezione. Viene presentato un "test casalingo" per valutare la propria dipendenza dai social media, considerando vari aspetti della vita personale e dell'interazione sociale. Infine, viene discussa l'importanza di valutare criticamente il proprio uso dei social media per equilibrare benefici e svantaggi.

A retenir

  • 🕌 Il discorso si svolge nel contesto di un centro islamico a Cardiff.
  • 📜 La comunicazione è evoluta da orale a digitale.
  • 💻 L'internet ha trasformato la comunicazione globale.
  • 📱 I social media hanno pro e contro significativi.
  • 📊 Viene presentato un test per identificare la dipendenza dai social media.
  • 🔍 Il video promuove la riflessione sull'uso dei social media.
  • 📚 Importanza della moderazione nell'uso digitale.
  • 📴 L'oratore promuove una pausa o digitale detox dai social media.
  • 🔗 I social media possono collegare persone globalmente.
  • ⚖️ Bilanciare benefici e svantaggi dei social media è cruciale.

Chronologie

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Benvenuti al primo di una serie di incontri mensili dedicati a riflessioni su temi attuali nella comunità musulmana di Cardiff. Si sottolinea il ruolo centrale della moschea nella comunità e si auspicano nuovi progetti per il futuro.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    Il relatore discute l'evoluzione della comunicazione attraverso i secoli, dall'oralità all'uso del papiro, fino all'era digitale con l'avvento di Internet e dei social media. Sottolinea come i social media abbiano rivoluzionato il modo di comunicare.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Viene citata una profezia del Profeta Maometto riguardo al cambiamento dei mezzi di comunicazione. Il relatore accenna al ruolo positivo dei social media nella diffusione delle informazioni islamiche, ma sottolinea anche i numerosi danni provocati.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    Si esplorano i danni dei social media, come la dipendenza dai dispositivi, l'impatto sui ritmi del sonno e la capacità di godere della propria compagnia. Si evidenzia come i social media possano indurre isolamento e depressione.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Il relatore avverte che i social media possono rendere le persone socialmente incompetenti e infantili, compromettendo la loro capacità di avere interazioni umane reali e gratifiche differite, e di gestire situazioni complesse.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    Si parla dell'importanza di valutare ogni tecnologia che cambia radicalmente la società. Viene introdotto un test personale in sette punti per verificare se si è dipendenti dai social media, iniziando dalle interazioni di genere problematica.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    Il discorso prosegue illustrando il test di autocontrollo con altre sei domande legate all'uso dei social media: il mostrare i propri peccati, l'invidia, il controllo dello sguardo, l'incoraggiare il peccato, l'essere falsi e la gestione del tempo.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    Particolare enfasi è posta sulla questione del tempo perso sui social media e sull'influenza dannosa che essi esercitano sulla nostra vita quotidiana, sottraendo tempo prezioso destinato alla crescita personale e spirituale.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:00

    Si consiglia di riflettere su come i social media influenzino la percezione di sé stessi e di considerare un uso limitato e più consapevole delle tecnologie digitali per migliorare il proprio stato spirituale e il benessere mentale.

  • 00:45:00 - 00:50:00

    Il punto di vista dell'oratore suggerisce una valutazione equilibrata tra pro e contro dei social media, incoraggiando un uso che arricchisca la vita spirituale piuttosto che distoglierci dai nostri obiettivi e valori.

  • 00:50:00 - 00:57:22

    Si conclude con un appello a limitare o eliminare l'uso dei social media se ciò risulta dannoso, invocando la necessità di proteggere la propria salute mentale e il tempo, e mantenendo la rilevanza sociale senza il peso della connessione costante.

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Carte mentale

Mind Map

Questions fréquemment posées

  • Qual è stato il principale cambiamento nella comunicazione negli ultimi cent'anni?

    Il principale cambiamento è avvenuto con l'arrivo di internet e dei social media, che hanno rivoluzionato la comunicazione rendendola istantanea.

  • Chi ha creato la prima piattaforma di social media e quale era?

    Mark Zuckerberg ha creato Facebook, inizialmente per gli studenti di Harvard.

  • Quali sono alcuni benefici dei social media secondo la prospettiva islamica?

    Permettono di promuovere l'Islam, condividere conoscenze religiose, e connettere persone da tutto il mondo.

  • Quali sono alcuni degli svantaggi dei social media menzionati nel discorso?

    Possono causare dipendenza, disturbi del sonno, isolamento sociale, e perdere la capacità di stare da soli in maniera riflessiva.

  • Qual è un test che puoi fare a casa per capire se sei dipendente dai social media?

    Valuta le tue interazioni con i generi, la divulgazione di peccati, la visualizzazione della felicità, il tempo trascorso, e la tua competenza sociale.

  • Cosa ha predetto il Profeta Muhammad riguardo i cambiamenti nella comunicazione?

    Ha predetto che le persone avrebbero comunicato in modi che all'epoca sembravano impossibili, anticipando sviluppi come la tecnologia mobile.

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    welcome to your brothers and sisters to
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    what we hope will be the zeitgeist
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    a
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    monthly
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    uh lecture that we do in the city of
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    wales
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    we're very grateful to
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    the south world islamic center
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    its committee its imam and all of those
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    involved the volunteers barakallahu
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    vikum for facilitating this giving the
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    opportunity
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    and this masjid is at the heart of our
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    community it is central to us and who we
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    are as
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    cardiff muslims
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    we ask allah subhanahu wa tala to allow
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    the light of iman and barakat and to
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    emit from this masjid
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    to make this
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    a beginning of many projects
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    and an extension of the projects that
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    this masjid already carries out
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    allahumma amin
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    so in the last 100 years
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    so many things have
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    changed
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    globally
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    so many things have developed
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    at an exponential rate so many things
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    have devolved as well
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    mainly from a moral perspective
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    and perhaps nothing has evolved as fast
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    as the
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    means of communication
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    if we go through a quick breakdown of
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    what communication was like since
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    antiquity
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    in the beginning it was largely an oral
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    transmission
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    people saying something
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    hearing it memorizing it
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    and then passing it on to others
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    then this would gradually develop
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    and people would start engraving things
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    on stone
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    tablets
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    and then stone became
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    bones
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    bones became leather parchments that
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    they would write on
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    and then
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    those leather parchments became scrolls
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    of sophisticated paper
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    and communication was growing
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    and becoming more effective
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    and more detailed
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    and then things began to evolve yet
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    further and now there was the invention
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    of what they call the homing pigeons
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    giving a pigeon or training birds to
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    take a message and to transfer it from
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    country to country
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    and then human messengers would also
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    take messages transferring it from
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    person to person country to country
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    continent to continent
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    on foot or on horseback
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    they would also develop the technique or
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    the technology of relay stations using
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    fire to communicate messages so one
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    station would light up with fire which
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    would ignite another station which would
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    ignite another station and a message is
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    communicated from country to country
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    or province to province
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    the biggest shift in communication
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    however
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    was around you can say in the early
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    parts of the 1990s
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    when commercial internet service
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    providers emerged
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    and internet had become a
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    household product for everyone to use to
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    communicate for the first time in human
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    history
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    at the speed of light
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    so the post office had happened the
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    newspaper had happened magazines were
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    printed
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    this was in europe now you have
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    communication at the speed of light
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    from europe to china
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    within a fraction of a second
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    then we fast forward to around 2004
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    where you had a gentleman
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    a harvard university
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    student at the time
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    by the name of
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    mark
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    zuckerberg
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    who
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    developed the first social media
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    platform known as facebook
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    and the intention of facebook was just
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    to be used by other fellow students at
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    his university at harvard in
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    america and everyone in the university
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    started using it it just exploded in
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    popularity
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    then
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    most of the universities in boston
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    started to use it
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    and within just two years in
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    2006 the whole globe
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    was familiar
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    with this product called
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    facebook
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    with
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    hundreds of millions of subscribers
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    and then since then
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    you had
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    the likes of linkedin and myspace and of
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    course twitter and instagram
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    more recently tick tock
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    and soon this very lecture whoever
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    watches it on the video will become
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    outdated it'll be out of date it loses
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    shelf life because we stop that tick
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    tock there's going to be a whole range
  • 00:05:01
    of other social media platforms that we
  • 00:05:03
    haven't listed things are still evolving
  • 00:05:08
    what is interesting their brothers and
  • 00:05:09
    sisters is that i wanna be prophet
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    sallallahu alaihi wasallam predicted
  • 00:05:13
    that there will be towards the end of
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    time
  • 00:05:17
    a change in the way that people
  • 00:05:18
    communicate
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    he said in the hadith which ahmad
  • 00:05:22
    narrates on the authority of abu sayidin
  • 00:05:24
    al-qudri he said
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    i swear by the one who owns my life he
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    said
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    the day of judgment is not going to
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    happen
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    until a day comes when man
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    will be speaking to wild creatures
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    and the day will come when man
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    will speak into the tip of his whip
  • 00:06:18
    and will speak to the shoelace of his
  • 00:06:21
    sandal the lace of his sandal
  • 00:06:24
    and his thigh
  • 00:06:26
    will tell him about what his family were
  • 00:06:29
    getting up to since he left them
  • 00:06:32
    what does this mean is this in reference
  • 00:06:34
    to mobile phone technology allah knows
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    best
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    the point is that he sallallahu alaihi
  • 00:06:40
    wasallam prophesies that there's going
  • 00:06:41
    to be what a change in
  • 00:06:44
    a change in communication
  • 00:06:47
    now without doubt
  • 00:06:49
    and it goes without saying
  • 00:06:51
    social media has brought with it so much
  • 00:06:53
    good from an islamic perspective
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    the ability to advertise a talk like
  • 00:06:58
    this record it publish it share it
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    allowing people from the four corners of
  • 00:07:03
    the globe to benefit from it
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    the
  • 00:07:07
    countless brothers and sisters who spend
  • 00:07:09
    their evenings thinking about how to
  • 00:07:11
    carefully craft that next islamic
  • 00:07:13
    reminder to help people find their way
  • 00:07:15
    back to their religion thousands of
  • 00:07:17
    people who found their way to islam
  • 00:07:19
    through social media
  • 00:07:20
    quran that is recited hadith that is
  • 00:07:23
    promoted misinformation that is
  • 00:07:24
    corrected
  • 00:07:29
    and when someone does a good because of
  • 00:07:32
    something you post expect the same
  • 00:07:34
    reward without any of their reward
  • 00:07:35
    detracting
  • 00:07:37
    it has brought with it opportunities not
  • 00:07:38
    just from an islamic perspective from a
  • 00:07:41
    non-muslim secular perspective a
  • 00:07:43
    business perspective career perspective
  • 00:07:46
    linkedin to know the other fellow
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    professionals out there to know your
  • 00:07:50
    tribesmen to know your family to
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    communicate with people in philistine or
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    in yemen or pakistan somalia it helps
  • 00:07:56
    you discover who your cousins are your
  • 00:07:58
    aunties are your greats are
  • 00:08:01
    those who want to further their career
  • 00:08:02
    climb up the ladder the corporate ladder
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    it helps you do that by allah's
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    permission
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    so on and so forth
  • 00:08:11
    that's on one side of the spectrum but
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    on the other side of the spectrum it has
  • 00:08:14
    also brought with it a heap
  • 00:08:16
    full of harms
  • 00:08:19
    on the adults and on the children as
  • 00:08:21
    well social media although this is not
  • 00:08:24
    the focus of this particular talk but
  • 00:08:26
    what are some of these harms to list
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    just a few
  • 00:08:32
    a person's nightlife is quite ruined
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    if you become obsessively addictive with
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    social media
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    you can't sleep a proper full night
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    anymore
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    these blue light emissions that you are
  • 00:08:44
    absorbing all of the time it affects
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    your sleep rhythms
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    and then if you add to that that
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    obsessive twitch to quickly
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    uh
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    uh un or remove the fly mode from your
  • 00:08:54
    phone and to check your latest
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    notification and then you get that next
  • 00:08:58
    hit of dopamine and adrenaline and now
  • 00:09:00
    you're awake and you can't sleep and it
  • 00:09:02
    becomes even shorter of a night
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    so you're knackered in the night you
  • 00:09:06
    can't sleep and by day you're naked
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    because you haven't slept and then your
  • 00:09:08
    whole life becomes a misery
  • 00:09:12
    that's one thing a second thing think
  • 00:09:14
    about your ability to be alone with
  • 00:09:16
    allah alone with yourself young boys
  • 00:09:18
    young girls can't do that anymore
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    because because social media has for the
  • 00:09:24
    most part remove that ability from us
  • 00:09:27
    because every opportunity that you're
  • 00:09:29
    not speaking to someone or working or
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    doing something it's an opportunity to
  • 00:09:33
    put your hand in your pocket and to see
  • 00:09:35
    what's going on the other side of the
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    world so you have no time for yourself
  • 00:09:39
    so with the passage of 5 10 15 years you
  • 00:09:42
    lose the ability of finding contentment
  • 00:09:44
    with just being alone
  • 00:09:48
    to sit in
  • 00:09:51
    a lot of us can't do that especially the
  • 00:09:52
    younger generation
  • 00:09:54
    because you're looking inwardly or
  • 00:09:56
    you're looking outwardly all of the time
  • 00:09:58
    outwardly outwardly outwardly and then
  • 00:10:00
    when you're sat alone you're looking
  • 00:10:01
    outwardly into what the world is doing
  • 00:10:04
    you are unable to sit and to think
  • 00:10:07
    inwardly for a moment about your lord
  • 00:10:08
    subhanahu wa and this is an issue
  • 00:10:12
    one of the greatest ways of boosting
  • 00:10:13
    iman
  • 00:10:15
    is learning how to sit alone without a
  • 00:10:17
    phone without a friend without their
  • 00:10:19
    parent for a moment in your day or night
  • 00:10:22
    and for many of us we can't do that
  • 00:10:24
    anymore
  • 00:10:26
    because we feel that there's value in us
  • 00:10:28
    that's missing so we try to find that
  • 00:10:30
    value elsewhere that's number two number
  • 00:10:33
    three
  • 00:10:35
    there's heaps of evidence now to prove
  • 00:10:37
    beyond fact that some of the loneliest
  • 00:10:39
    saddest most depressed and anxious
  • 00:10:41
    people on planet earth are those who use
  • 00:10:43
    their phones their social media
  • 00:10:44
    specifically most it's interesting you
  • 00:10:47
    think that the more friends you had
  • 00:10:48
    online
  • 00:10:50
    the less lonely you feel that's not the
  • 00:10:52
    situation that's not the science at all
  • 00:10:54
    actually
  • 00:10:56
    it's like the more chocolate you have in
  • 00:10:57
    an aisle in the super supermarket does
  • 00:10:59
    not help you curb your desire for
  • 00:11:01
    chocolate any more than an aisle that
  • 00:11:04
    has fewer chocolates
  • 00:11:07
    lonely
  • 00:11:08
    why because you are constantly comparing
  • 00:11:11
    your life
  • 00:11:12
    you're miserable or boring life that
  • 00:11:15
    doesn't have vacations doesn't have
  • 00:11:16
    business doesn't have the latest jordans
  • 00:11:18
    you're comparing your life
  • 00:11:20
    to the highlight reel of your neighbor
  • 00:11:22
    to the highlight reel of someone in
  • 00:11:24
    australia
  • 00:11:26
    and they've removed all of the blemishes
  • 00:11:28
    and the flows of their day so they feel
  • 00:11:29
    lonely
  • 00:11:31
    social media usually feel isolated they
  • 00:11:33
    feel inadequate
  • 00:11:36
    that's number three
  • 00:11:37
    number four look at how social media has
  • 00:11:40
    for many people made them completely
  • 00:11:43
    socially incompetent especially maybe
  • 00:11:45
    the younger generation gen z
  • 00:11:48
    they can't hold
  • 00:11:50
    a long and deep and meaningful
  • 00:11:52
    conversation with you looking at you eye
  • 00:11:54
    to eye that's gone because over the
  • 00:11:57
    passage of years when you're obsessively
  • 00:11:59
    using social media what happens your
  • 00:12:01
    mind now is hardwired and
  • 00:12:03
    short-circuited to only be able to deal
  • 00:12:06
    with short comments lols thumbs up likes
  • 00:12:09
    hashtag shares
  • 00:12:11
    and you lose the ability to become an
  • 00:12:13
    interpersonal human being
  • 00:12:15
    you can't do it anymore
  • 00:12:18
    so social media teaches you that if
  • 00:12:20
    there's a problem in your relationships
  • 00:12:21
    don't worry you can just get out of it
  • 00:12:23
    just click the blog button end of story
  • 00:12:26
    does that represent reality
  • 00:12:29
    reality is far more sophisticated than
  • 00:12:31
    that
  • 00:12:32
    far more messy far more entangled far
  • 00:12:34
    more intertwined you've got to be
  • 00:12:35
    intelligent you've got to be socially
  • 00:12:36
    smart you got to look at people you got
  • 00:12:38
    to talk with them you got to know how to
  • 00:12:39
    deal with difficult circumstances show
  • 00:12:42
    social media says to you that this is an
  • 00:12:44
    image that you gave over you
  • 00:12:46
    impress over you share you comment you
  • 00:12:48
    like that's it it doesn't teach you to
  • 00:12:51
    look at a woman for example as a mother
  • 00:12:56
    or a
  • 00:12:57
    as a neighbor
  • 00:12:58
    it doesn't train you doesn't give you
  • 00:13:00
    those tools
  • 00:13:01
    it strips you of them
  • 00:13:03
    so you're left socially incompetent
  • 00:13:06
    maybe you feel that
  • 00:13:07
    i have felt that and i've experienced as
  • 00:13:10
    some of you have the generation or the
  • 00:13:11
    era before social media and after social
  • 00:13:13
    media i can tell you i'm not the same
  • 00:13:15
    person
  • 00:13:16
    and alhamdulillah i'm taking a break at
  • 00:13:18
    this moment in time it's been about a
  • 00:13:19
    year and a half i'm fasting
  • 00:13:21
    trying to give myself a break
  • 00:13:23
    and i have seen the effects of the detox
  • 00:13:26
    i don't know how long it's going to last
  • 00:13:28
    but it's been phenomenal
  • 00:13:30
    so that's another thing
  • 00:13:32
    the element of what
  • 00:13:34
    the element of what brothers
  • 00:13:36
    what were we just talking about
  • 00:13:41
    how it makes people
  • 00:13:43
    socially incompetent
  • 00:13:45
    add to the list another point this is
  • 00:13:47
    your number five and that is
  • 00:13:49
    look at how
  • 00:13:50
    social media with time and with
  • 00:13:52
    obsession with addiction it can
  • 00:13:54
    infantilize your mind
  • 00:13:56
    it can make your brain like the brain of
  • 00:13:58
    an infant
  • 00:14:00
    a child
  • 00:14:02
    what do children love the most
  • 00:14:05
    flashing lights and
  • 00:14:07
    buzzing sounds
  • 00:14:09
    what does social media train you train
  • 00:14:11
    you to love the most
  • 00:14:14
    flashing lights
  • 00:14:15
    buzzing sounds they just call them more
  • 00:14:17
    sophisticated terms like notifications
  • 00:14:21
    and then look at the tantrum that the
  • 00:14:23
    child kicks up when he or she they have
  • 00:14:26
    their desires not met there and then
  • 00:14:28
    instant gratification why not it's now
  • 00:14:31
    the child kicks up a fuss they can't
  • 00:14:33
    they're not patient they're not
  • 00:14:34
    resilient they're just weak staff now
  • 00:14:37
    and the users of social media what have
  • 00:14:38
    they become
  • 00:14:40
    like a child
  • 00:14:41
    living off the next dopamine hit like an
  • 00:14:45
    addict
  • 00:14:46
    living and waiting for the next
  • 00:14:47
    notification to feel that you're
  • 00:14:49
    validated by society otherwise you don't
  • 00:14:51
    feel that buzz that hit
  • 00:14:53
    looking for instant gratification we
  • 00:14:56
    become childlike with scattered
  • 00:14:58
    attention we're unable to focus you pick
  • 00:15:00
    up a book you read half a page and then
  • 00:15:02
    you have that you're earning to see
  • 00:15:03
    what's going on on the on your socials
  • 00:15:05
    but your phone hasn't even gone off it's
  • 00:15:06
    a phantom notification they call it you
  • 00:15:09
    feel that your phone has gone off but it
  • 00:15:10
    hasn't gone off it's an imagination
  • 00:15:12
    because the wired the brain has been
  • 00:15:14
    rewired
  • 00:15:16
    so that a human being becomes childlike
  • 00:15:19
    living off instant gratification
  • 00:15:21
    tantrums when you don't get the way you
  • 00:15:23
    want
  • 00:15:24
    distracted anxious all over the place
  • 00:15:27
    and unable to carry out a meaningful
  • 00:15:29
    task
  • 00:15:31
    so this is putting social media in the
  • 00:15:34
    balance
  • 00:15:35
    therefore brothers and sisters anything
  • 00:15:38
    take as a rule
  • 00:15:40
    that causes so much change in society
  • 00:15:44
    anything that is adopted by most of
  • 00:15:46
    humanity requires attention from us
  • 00:15:50
    and to minimally dedicate to it a talk
  • 00:15:52
    like this or a series as we have done
  • 00:15:53
    before in other massages
  • 00:15:56
    so i want to share with you
  • 00:15:59
    a
  • 00:16:00
    a home test kit
  • 00:16:02
    you're going to go home this evening
  • 00:16:04
    inshaallah brothers and sisters with a
  • 00:16:05
    home test kit you can take with you to
  • 00:16:07
    your house
  • 00:16:09
    and you have seven parts that make up
  • 00:16:12
    this home test kit
  • 00:16:14
    you test yourself
  • 00:16:16
    if you find that you fail this criteria
  • 00:16:19
    of seven points i'm going to share with
  • 00:16:21
    you then realize that you're testing
  • 00:16:23
    positive
  • 00:16:25
    for
  • 00:16:26
    social media addiction and therefore
  • 00:16:28
    there is a huge reshuffling that you got
  • 00:16:30
    to make in your life
  • 00:16:34
    seven milestones seven litmus tests i
  • 00:16:36
    want you to think about and you then
  • 00:16:38
    decide whether social media is the best
  • 00:16:40
    thing for you or not people will come
  • 00:16:42
    with different answers at the end of
  • 00:16:43
    this
  • 00:16:44
    take note of it
  • 00:16:47
    number one
  • 00:16:49
    the element of gender interactions
  • 00:16:52
    boys and girls
  • 00:16:54
    talking communicating befriending one
  • 00:16:56
    another on social media this is the
  • 00:16:58
    first point we'd like to speak about
  • 00:17:03
    can boys and friends boys and girls just
  • 00:17:05
    be friends
  • 00:17:15
    we have made you a fitna for one another
  • 00:17:18
    allah said will you be patient
  • 00:17:21
    undoubtedly
  • 00:17:23
    communication did exist between the men
  • 00:17:25
    and the women from the companions of the
  • 00:17:27
    prophet muhammad sallallahu no one can
  • 00:17:29
    challenge that they did speak but what
  • 00:17:32
    type of speak what type of speech
  • 00:17:35
    it was a speech that was
  • 00:17:38
    uh shadowed with umbrellas of decency
  • 00:17:42
    and adeb
  • 00:17:43
    and mannerisms
  • 00:17:45
    respect
  • 00:17:46
    and take note of this one
  • 00:17:48
    necessity
  • 00:17:50
    that was their communication with one
  • 00:17:52
    another
  • 00:17:53
    adam mannerisms respect
  • 00:17:56
    decency and necessity that's how they
  • 00:17:58
    spoke
  • 00:18:01
    and there was this famous study that
  • 00:18:03
    happened at the university of wisconsin
  • 00:18:05
    wisconsin ucla where they took 44
  • 00:18:09
    college age students some of them were
  • 00:18:12
    single others were in a relationship and
  • 00:18:15
    they and they paired them together
  • 00:18:17
    and they studied them over a period of
  • 00:18:20
    about a year
  • 00:18:22
    and these people were friends before
  • 00:18:25
    up to two years to 11 years of a
  • 00:18:26
    friendship boys and girls they put them
  • 00:18:28
    together and then they assessed they
  • 00:18:30
    gave them an interview afterwards and
  • 00:18:32
    they found
  • 00:18:34
    that
  • 00:18:36
    men almost always had an attraction
  • 00:18:39
    towards the girl but the girl didn't
  • 00:18:42
    always have an attraction towards the
  • 00:18:43
    boy
  • 00:18:45
    they found when they were interviewing
  • 00:18:47
    them that the men
  • 00:18:48
    consistently overestimated the
  • 00:18:50
    relationship thinking that something was
  • 00:18:52
    going on there's interest
  • 00:18:55
    and the women consistently
  • 00:18:57
    underestimated their relationship saying
  • 00:18:59
    there was nothing going on we're just
  • 00:19:00
    friends
  • 00:19:02
    and now subhanallah with the whole metoo
  • 00:19:05
    movement it it's showing islam as being
  • 00:19:07
    morally superior yet again it was so
  • 00:19:10
    wise when it said to you be careful be
  • 00:19:13
    careful how you speak to the opposite
  • 00:19:15
    gender and how you interact and with
  • 00:19:16
    social media this opportunity has just
  • 00:19:19
    mushroomed it's just exploded
  • 00:19:22
    back in the days you wanted to talk with
  • 00:19:23
    the girl you liked
  • 00:19:25
    it was just i guess a piece of paper you
  • 00:19:27
    write a message in it you make it into a
  • 00:19:29
    paper airplane and you launch it and you
  • 00:19:31
    hope you'll get into the window for her
  • 00:19:32
    room not into the lap of her father that
  • 00:19:34
    is and some of the stories that our
  • 00:19:36
    elders shared with us prior to them
  • 00:19:38
    practicing are hilarious
  • 00:19:41
    now you don't need no paper aeroplane
  • 00:19:43
    you don't need a ladder to climb into
  • 00:19:45
    someone's room you just need an 11 digit
  • 00:19:46
    number
  • 00:19:47
    right or you need the social media
  • 00:19:49
    profile name you're into the bedroom of
  • 00:19:51
    that person
  • 00:19:52
    you're telling me that's not a test
  • 00:19:56
    it's a serious problem brothers and
  • 00:19:58
    sisters
  • 00:19:59
    so this is the first one i want you to
  • 00:20:01
    think about and put yourself under the
  • 00:20:02
    litmus test if you're failing this one
  • 00:20:04
    maybe you need to walk away
  • 00:20:07
    and look subhan allah
  • 00:20:09
    what we did now is prove
  • 00:20:11
    look at the arrangement of salah
  • 00:20:13
    look at the formation of salah
  • 00:20:17
    how was salah at the time of the prophet
  • 00:20:19
    muhammed where women and men they prayed
  • 00:20:22
    in the same room but how
  • 00:20:24
    well look salah the purest of all
  • 00:20:26
    actions
  • 00:20:27
    carried out by the companions the purest
  • 00:20:29
    of all people in masjidu never we one of
  • 00:20:31
    the purest of all places on earth but
  • 00:20:34
    look at the separation because islam is
  • 00:20:36
    realistic it's pragmatic it don't throw
  • 00:20:38
    you under the bus like that
  • 00:20:42
    imam is a man never a woman
  • 00:20:45
    there's bowing there's prostration
  • 00:20:48
    there's compromising positions there's
  • 00:20:49
    also an element of leadership
  • 00:20:52
    there is an imam
  • 00:20:54
    and then you have men who pray at the
  • 00:20:56
    front where do women pray
  • 00:20:58
    women they pray at the back
  • 00:21:01
    what are the greatest roles for men in
  • 00:21:04
    terms of reward
  • 00:21:06
    the
  • 00:21:07
    the front rows what are the most
  • 00:21:08
    rewarding roles for our sisters
  • 00:21:11
    the rosa are furthest away from the men
  • 00:21:13
    the back rows
  • 00:21:16
    then the prophet sallallahu alaihi
  • 00:21:17
    wasallam would say to the companions
  • 00:21:18
    when they finish their salah you don't
  • 00:21:20
    turn around
  • 00:21:22
    till your sisters they get up and leave
  • 00:21:23
    first
  • 00:21:25
    and there was a door for them called
  • 00:21:27
    babu nisa the door of the women and they
  • 00:21:29
    would leave by themselves uninterrupted
  • 00:21:31
    in a dignified manner not having to push
  • 00:21:33
    and shove with men
  • 00:21:35
    he would say you stay there don't turn
  • 00:21:36
    around
  • 00:21:37
    until they leave
  • 00:21:39
    this is in salah full hijab
  • 00:21:42
    face faces covered
  • 00:21:43
    [Music]
  • 00:21:46
    and then the men would get up and they
  • 00:21:47
    would leave so you're telling me that
  • 00:21:49
    this is the arrangement in salah but all
  • 00:21:50
    of a sudden on social media what's going
  • 00:21:52
    on says dm me
  • 00:21:54
    and that's not going to affect you this
  • 00:21:56
    is okay
  • 00:21:58
    this is a if that was the case our
  • 00:22:00
    religion would be bipolar it'd be
  • 00:22:01
    schizophrenic
  • 00:22:03
    that it tells you that you do your salah
  • 00:22:04
    like this but then outside of salah when
  • 00:22:06
    there's no holiness involved everything
  • 00:22:08
    is a free for all this is number one
  • 00:22:10
    what was number one yeah
  • 00:22:13
    gender interactions test yourself on
  • 00:22:15
    that be honest number two
  • 00:22:24
    allah does that mean
  • 00:22:28
    see
  • 00:22:29
    every one of us has a
  • 00:22:32
    demon in his closet
  • 00:22:34
    every one of us let's be honest has a
  • 00:22:37
    sin that he or she is battling
  • 00:22:39
    a a very difficult battle against
  • 00:22:42
    whether it's pertaining to dress or
  • 00:22:44
    music or women or men or whatever it may
  • 00:22:46
    be we all have that individual battle
  • 00:22:48
    every one of us
  • 00:22:49
    one thing is committing the sin
  • 00:22:52
    and then weeping about it and seeing
  • 00:22:53
    astagfirullah and then doing it again
  • 00:22:55
    because you're human
  • 00:22:57
    but you say for allah and you don't
  • 00:22:59
    forget you don't for you don't give up
  • 00:23:01
    this person is near the mercy of allah
  • 00:23:04
    that's one thing another thing however
  • 00:23:06
    is doing the sin and then showing the
  • 00:23:09
    world this is my sin this is what i'm
  • 00:23:11
    getting up to
  • 00:23:13
    as if to say
  • 00:23:15
    not only am i committing the sin yeah
  • 00:23:17
    allah i don't even care
  • 00:23:20
    that then transforms the sin and
  • 00:23:23
    hyperbolizes it it and it aggrandizes it
  • 00:23:27
    it causes it to grow
  • 00:23:28
    to a new level of severity and crime in
  • 00:23:31
    the eyes of allah
  • 00:23:32
    not because of the sin necessarily but
  • 00:23:34
    because of the the mentality the
  • 00:23:36
    approach the carelessness involved
  • 00:23:39
    this is my sin and so what and let me
  • 00:23:42
    show the world what i'm doing too this
  • 00:23:44
    is called an arabic word
  • 00:23:47
    what is the word for it
  • 00:23:50
    exactly
  • 00:23:53
    there is a hadith
  • 00:23:55
    uh which bukhari and muslim narrate on
  • 00:23:56
    the authority of
  • 00:23:58
    the messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam
  • 00:23:59
    said
  • 00:24:01
    um
  • 00:24:05
    every member of my nation will have
  • 00:24:08
    safety on the day of judgment except the
  • 00:24:11
    people of mujahara those who publicly
  • 00:24:13
    disclose their sins and then he explains
  • 00:24:30
    foreign
  • 00:24:34
    every member of my nation will have
  • 00:24:36
    safety on the day of judgment except the
  • 00:24:38
    people who show off their sins
  • 00:24:40
    and then he said what this means is the
  • 00:24:42
    following a man who commits a sin at
  • 00:24:44
    night and allah covers him allah does
  • 00:24:47
    not expose him
  • 00:24:50
    and then he gets up the next day he says
  • 00:24:52
    to the world i committed last night this
  • 00:24:54
    and this this that and the other this is
  • 00:24:56
    what i got up to last night
  • 00:24:58
    the prophet alaihi wasallam said that
  • 00:25:00
    night allah had covered him but he then
  • 00:25:02
    tears apart the veil of allah
  • 00:25:07
    so now with the advent of social media
  • 00:25:09
    it's easier than ever before to show the
  • 00:25:10
    world your mistakes
  • 00:25:12
    your yearnings your
  • 00:25:14
    your your your sins
  • 00:25:17
    now keep that between you and allah that
  • 00:25:19
    sin is not to be celebrated
  • 00:25:21
    that sin is to be wept about when you
  • 00:25:23
    think about it you cry
  • 00:25:25
    your heart breaks why am i like this i
  • 00:25:28
    shouldn't be this person when allah is
  • 00:25:30
    my lord and he's lent me my limbs it's
  • 00:25:32
    all unknown i'm going to have to return
  • 00:25:34
    it i'm going to be six feet under i have
  • 00:25:36
    a resurrection ahead of me my life is
  • 00:25:38
    getting shorter i see gray hair why am i
  • 00:25:40
    still committed that's the type of talk
  • 00:25:41
    that's the type of discourse that should
  • 00:25:42
    be when a person commits a sin let alone
  • 00:25:45
    showing it to the world
  • 00:25:46
    ya rasulullah
  • 00:25:48
    a man said a messenger of allah
  • 00:25:51
    tell me about safety how do we reach
  • 00:25:53
    safety
  • 00:25:55
    he said to him
  • 00:25:57
    control what you say
  • 00:25:59
    number two
  • 00:26:01
    you took and your home should be enough
  • 00:26:02
    for you not in and out in and out like
  • 00:26:04
    your home is some sort of bed and
  • 00:26:06
    breakfast never to be seen no your home
  • 00:26:08
    should be sufficient for you unless you
  • 00:26:09
    need to go out number three and cry
  • 00:26:13
    cry when you commit a sin
  • 00:26:15
    cry over your sins not show the world
  • 00:26:17
    your sins
  • 00:26:20
    and who knows who knows
  • 00:26:23
    who is will be encouraged to do what
  • 00:26:24
    when they see your post on your share or
  • 00:26:26
    your hashtag or the image that you
  • 00:26:28
    posted or your status or where you were
  • 00:26:30
    last in the where you were where you
  • 00:26:32
    were at in the last 24 hours who knows
  • 00:26:34
    who will be encouraged to do what one
  • 00:26:36
    can't bear to think about the prospects
  • 00:26:38
    of meeting allah with his own sins let
  • 00:26:40
    alone carrying the sins of others
  • 00:26:43
    because of your encouragement because of
  • 00:26:44
    your opposed this is mujahra this is
  • 00:26:47
    showing allah i don't care it's a new
  • 00:26:48
    level of criminality akhil kareem
  • 00:26:52
    i speak for myself and i tell you this i
  • 00:26:54
    have my own addictions
  • 00:26:55
    i have my own problems i have my own
  • 00:26:58
    demons and the skeletons are closeted
  • 00:27:00
    i'm trying to overcome so please the
  • 00:27:02
    same way it would be unfair for me to
  • 00:27:04
    draw you into my world it would be
  • 00:27:06
    unfair for you to draw me into your
  • 00:27:08
    world
  • 00:27:10
    why share with each other our mistakes
  • 00:27:12
    and our vulnerabilities why help each
  • 00:27:15
    other grow towards allah subhanahu wa
  • 00:27:17
    does it make you happy with your brother
  • 00:27:18
    that your carefully curated photo was
  • 00:27:21
    then used by a sister or seen by a
  • 00:27:22
    sister and now her heart breaks because
  • 00:27:24
    she can't have you and she's thinking
  • 00:27:26
    about you and salla does that make you
  • 00:27:27
    happy that you managed to pull someone
  • 00:27:29
    away from allah
  • 00:27:30
    does it
  • 00:27:31
    please you dear sister to do the same
  • 00:27:34
    whether it's your profile picture or
  • 00:27:35
    your social media app image whatever it
  • 00:27:37
    may be and now this person institute
  • 00:27:39
    instead of thinking about his lord he's
  • 00:27:41
    prostrating and thinking about you how
  • 00:27:43
    is that success
  • 00:27:45
    or is that not a sign of worthlessness
  • 00:27:47
    of a person in the eyes of allah that
  • 00:27:49
    he's used him for this type of behavior
  • 00:27:52
    so this is what number one
  • 00:27:55
    number two
  • 00:27:56
    veil yourself dear brothers and sisters
  • 00:27:58
    in islam
  • 00:28:14
    said
  • 00:28:19
    he said
  • 00:28:20
    stay away from these impure sins that
  • 00:28:22
    allah has forbidden
  • 00:28:25
    however he said anybody who commits one
  • 00:28:27
    of them
  • 00:28:28
    let him repent to allah subhanahu wa
  • 00:28:30
    ta'ala let him veil himself with the
  • 00:28:32
    veil of allah let him do what
  • 00:28:35
    veil himself don't tell the shaykh don't
  • 00:28:37
    tell the imam don't tell the peers don't
  • 00:28:39
    tell any one of them tell allah say i am
  • 00:28:41
    sorry
  • 00:28:43
    and most importantly don't tell the
  • 00:28:45
    people through a post that you share
  • 00:28:50
    this is number two
  • 00:28:52
    number three
  • 00:28:54
    the third part of your home test kit
  • 00:28:55
    before you decide whether social media
  • 00:28:57
    is for you or not
  • 00:28:59
    the element of
  • 00:29:00
    displaying your happiness to people your
  • 00:29:03
    joys the things that you got up to
  • 00:29:06
    hold on a minute
  • 00:29:08
    the next time you're out with your
  • 00:29:09
    friends at stakeout or whatever it may
  • 00:29:12
    be
  • 00:29:13
    you're enjoying yourself with your
  • 00:29:14
    brother your sister your spouse
  • 00:29:16
    and then you feel that impulse to put
  • 00:29:19
    your hand in your pocket and to snap
  • 00:29:21
    what you're doing hold on a minute just
  • 00:29:22
    pause for a minute say to yourself why
  • 00:29:24
    am i feeling that
  • 00:29:27
    why am i feeling the need to show people
  • 00:29:30
    what i'm doing why am i feeling that
  • 00:29:32
    what made me feel there
  • 00:29:34
    why is it that i
  • 00:29:36
    need people to validate my happiness
  • 00:29:40
    why do i need people to reassure me
  • 00:29:42
    that i'm having a good time
  • 00:29:44
    it's as if i can't have fun unless
  • 00:29:46
    people tell me that you're having fun
  • 00:29:50
    now keep the phone there in your pocket
  • 00:29:52
    and realize that when you are constantly
  • 00:29:55
    showing the world your joys your
  • 00:29:57
    successes the barbecues the vacations
  • 00:30:00
    the barbados
  • 00:30:02
    what are you doing you're bringing the
  • 00:30:03
    eyes of people upon yourself
  • 00:30:05
    you are bringing their eyes upon you and
  • 00:30:07
    your family and your money your health
  • 00:30:10
    and then you wonder
  • 00:30:12
    why you have anxieties
  • 00:30:14
    why you're depressed why you're why your
  • 00:30:17
    your life is melting away before your
  • 00:30:19
    life before your very eyes you brought
  • 00:30:21
    this upon yourself we did
  • 00:30:24
    and that is why the nabi sallallahu
  • 00:30:25
    alaihi wasallam he said
  • 00:30:27
    the hadith
  • 00:30:29
    on the authority of
  • 00:30:30
    he said
  • 00:30:32
    is
  • 00:30:40
    he said
  • 00:30:41
    make sure that you hold on to privacy
  • 00:30:44
    when you're fulfilling your endeavors
  • 00:30:47
    because everybody who has a blessing is
  • 00:30:49
    envied
  • 00:30:50
    did you get the hadith phenomenal words
  • 00:30:53
    hold on to privacy secrecy when you're
  • 00:30:56
    fulfilling and endeavor don't go telling
  • 00:30:58
    everyone about it why because every
  • 00:31:01
    blessed man has an envy
  • 00:31:06
    so keep people away from you keep the
  • 00:31:08
    eyes of people away from your family
  • 00:31:09
    away from your property away from your
  • 00:31:10
    life
  • 00:31:12
    and if you need to share something only
  • 00:31:14
    share it with the people you love
  • 00:31:16
    mom dad siblings you know they only want
  • 00:31:18
    the best for you
  • 00:31:22
    by the way there's another element here
  • 00:31:24
    of showing the world what you go up to
  • 00:31:26
    what you got up to and the food and the
  • 00:31:28
    latest steak that you just had hold on a
  • 00:31:30
    minute does everyone have the
  • 00:31:31
    opportunity to eat me twice three times
  • 00:31:33
    four times a week
  • 00:31:35
    does everyone have the opportunity to
  • 00:31:36
    spend 30 quid on a steak
  • 00:31:40
    you just got married and you're showing
  • 00:31:41
    everyone your beautiful spouse okay fair
  • 00:31:44
    play too you've blurred out her face
  • 00:31:45
    jazakallah
  • 00:31:48
    what about your brother next door who
  • 00:31:49
    can't get married
  • 00:31:50
    what about the fella next door who
  • 00:31:52
    wanted to marry the girl that you're
  • 00:31:53
    married to
  • 00:31:55
    you graduated mashallah your dad got you
  • 00:31:57
    a bm
  • 00:31:59
    does everyone need to see that
  • 00:32:01
    maybe my car is a banger i'm struggling
  • 00:32:03
    with a basic skoda
  • 00:32:05
    is everyone a well-wisher for you and
  • 00:32:06
    then you wonder why am i feeling so
  • 00:32:08
    anxious so sad
  • 00:32:10
    it must be it must be black magic
  • 00:32:13
    let just go to your feed you'll mostly
  • 00:32:15
    you will find the answer there without
  • 00:32:17
    becoming obsessed with the idea of ain't
  • 00:32:19
    magic and the rest of it
  • 00:32:22
    so this is number one number three
  • 00:32:24
    the element of displaying your joys are
  • 00:32:25
    you a culprit to that are you a victim
  • 00:32:27
    of that you just can't help showing the
  • 00:32:28
    world everything you're doing
  • 00:32:31
    and what is interesting is that
  • 00:32:33
    the unhappiest people science says the
  • 00:32:36
    unhappiest of all people are those who
  • 00:32:38
    portray themselves to be the happiest of
  • 00:32:40
    people and if it was just about you
  • 00:32:43
    being happy maybe we can achieve that no
  • 00:32:46
    we want to be happier
  • 00:32:48
    than other people
  • 00:32:51
    and social media
  • 00:32:53
    is designed
  • 00:32:54
    to show you that people people are
  • 00:32:56
    happier than they actually are so how
  • 00:32:58
    can you ever win
  • 00:33:00
    as they say that jealousy
  • 00:33:03
    is about all the fun you thought they
  • 00:33:04
    have
  • 00:33:05
    jealousy is about the all the fun that
  • 00:33:08
    you thought they had
  • 00:33:10
    so cover your affairs brothers and
  • 00:33:12
    sisters
  • 00:33:15
    the fourth point is the element of the
  • 00:33:17
    gaze this is number one number four the
  • 00:33:20
    gaze
  • 00:33:22
    the eyes
  • 00:33:24
    do we need to elaborate
  • 00:33:26
    what has happened because of this since
  • 00:33:28
    the introduction of social media and the
  • 00:33:29
    unfettered access to the opposite gender
  • 00:33:31
    come on kareem 95 million photos and
  • 00:33:34
    videos uploaded on
  • 00:33:36
    instagram on a daily basis
  • 00:33:40
    and
  • 00:33:40
    350 million photos on facebook uploaded
  • 00:33:43
    on a daily basis that's a lot of content
  • 00:33:46
    you know the average 13 year old today
  • 00:33:49
    sees more content in one day than maybe
  • 00:33:52
    my granddad has seen in his whole life
  • 00:33:56
    because of the feed
  • 00:33:59
    right
  • 00:34:00
    so if you're unable to restrain the gays
  • 00:34:03
    we know who we are
  • 00:34:05
    then think whether social media is the
  • 00:34:07
    best thing for you
  • 00:34:10
    and that is why bukhari and muslim
  • 00:34:12
    narrate on the authority of abu sayyaf
  • 00:34:14
    that the messenger sallallahu alaihi
  • 00:34:15
    wasallam said
  • 00:34:18
    julius beware of sitting in public roads
  • 00:34:24
    you know public roads you know your sea
  • 00:34:25
    roads you know your edge will roads
  • 00:34:27
    where people just sat there with their
  • 00:34:29
    pipes or whatever they may be doing just
  • 00:34:30
    staring at people walking
  • 00:34:33
    he said don't sit in public pathways
  • 00:34:36
    don't do it
  • 00:34:38
    they said the companions
  • 00:34:43
    we've got nowhere else to sit
  • 00:34:45
    this is where we talk
  • 00:34:47
    in other words
  • 00:34:49
    their houses were not like our houses
  • 00:34:50
    with a kitchen a kitchen and a bedroom
  • 00:34:52
    dining room and tea room and
  • 00:34:55
    it was just a small space
  • 00:34:58
    so they were genuine they said where
  • 00:34:59
    else are we gonna sit and talk and get
  • 00:35:00
    to he said to them look for in
  • 00:35:05
    if you insist on seeing in the public
  • 00:35:06
    roads public spaces
  • 00:35:10
    your costas your lounges
  • 00:35:14
    make sure you give the road it's right
  • 00:35:16
    they said what is the right of the road
  • 00:35:17
    he said five things
  • 00:35:20
    are lowering the gaze
  • 00:35:22
    that came number one number one lowering
  • 00:35:25
    the case
  • 00:35:26
    if you're going to sit there you've got
  • 00:35:28
    to carry out the conditions
  • 00:35:29
    number one lowering the gains
  • 00:35:32
    number two kaful ada to not harm anyone
  • 00:35:36
    number three radu salaam to return the
  • 00:35:38
    greeting of salaam was
  • 00:35:41
    number four al-anm
  • 00:35:51
    it's quite expensive it's quite a task
  • 00:35:54
    it's quite a responsibility you want to
  • 00:35:55
    sit in a place like that fine by all
  • 00:35:57
    means these are the five conditions
  • 00:36:00
    and it begins with the lowering of the
  • 00:36:02
    gaze
  • 00:36:03
    why do i quote this hadith because this
  • 00:36:05
    is not just about
  • 00:36:07
    the physical highways the physical roads
  • 00:36:09
    that's also the roads of information
  • 00:36:14
    the highway information roads social
  • 00:36:16
    media they are roads
  • 00:36:18
    each app is made up of roads your feed
  • 00:36:21
    is a road that requires you to lower
  • 00:36:24
    your gaze and to not harm and to give
  • 00:36:26
    salaam and to enjoy good and forbid evil
  • 00:36:28
    it begins with the lowering of the gaze
  • 00:36:31
    it's a huge responsibility this
  • 00:36:34
    device here this miraculous organ
  • 00:36:38
    has blessed you and i with
  • 00:36:40
    one of the greatest pathways to your
  • 00:36:42
    heart
  • 00:36:43
    it is like a gutter
  • 00:36:45
    that is pouring into your heart all what
  • 00:36:47
    you feel inside of that gutter and this
  • 00:36:49
    is the pathway here as the poet he said
  • 00:36:59
    he said all calamities they began with
  • 00:37:02
    the glance
  • 00:37:04
    and all fires they begin with a spark
  • 00:37:19
    and your heart
  • 00:37:20
    there is going to be a question about
  • 00:37:23
    all of them on the day of judgment allah
  • 00:37:25
    said
  • 00:37:27
    so there's no point somebody posting a
  • 00:37:29
    picture of himself herself and then they
  • 00:37:30
    go no pervs please
  • 00:37:33
    or
  • 00:37:34
    you shouldn't be looking who told you to
  • 00:37:36
    look
  • 00:37:38
    the one who told you to lower the gaze
  • 00:37:40
    is the same one who told you to dress up
  • 00:37:43
    appropriately and careful how you
  • 00:37:44
    present yourself it came from the same
  • 00:37:46
    source don't cut and paste
  • 00:37:55
    and to protect their private parts that
  • 00:37:57
    will be purer for them allah he knows
  • 00:37:59
    what you are doing
  • 00:38:01
    and then he
  • 00:38:02
    says and tell the believing women to
  • 00:38:05
    lower their gains and to protect their
  • 00:38:07
    hearts and to not show their adornments
  • 00:38:09
    except what is apparent from it and then
  • 00:38:11
    the ayah gives a description of the
  • 00:38:12
    hijab so the same ayah that tells men to
  • 00:38:15
    lower their gaze and fear allah is the
  • 00:38:17
    same set of verses that tell our
  • 00:38:19
    counterparts to fear allah with respect
  • 00:38:21
    to dress presentation
  • 00:38:23
    that's balance
  • 00:38:25
    that's justice
  • 00:38:27
    the lowering of the gaze most of it is
  • 00:38:29
    not real brothers
  • 00:38:31
    dear sisters you are aware of that it's
  • 00:38:33
    the whole fake it till you make it
  • 00:38:34
    approach
  • 00:38:36
    you know that
  • 00:38:38
    and that's why ibn mufli when he was
  • 00:38:40
    giving us advice about how to help us
  • 00:38:41
    lower the gaze he says beautiful words
  • 00:38:43
    he said
  • 00:39:02
    he says because you will see something
  • 00:39:06
    that you cannot attain in a way that
  • 00:39:08
    does not represent its reality
  • 00:39:10
    did you get this
  • 00:39:12
    think about it it will help you and i to
  • 00:39:14
    lower the gaze
  • 00:39:15
    it's a beautiful statement
  • 00:39:17
    fear allah when it comes to the lowering
  • 00:39:19
    of the gays why because you will see
  • 00:39:22
    something
  • 00:39:23
    a that you can't attain most of it is
  • 00:39:26
    outreach
  • 00:39:28
    and the second problem
  • 00:39:29
    it does not represent its reality
  • 00:39:33
    it's not real
  • 00:39:35
    and that's why most things that you look
  • 00:39:37
    at and you think whoa
  • 00:39:39
    should you get a little bit closer you
  • 00:39:40
    say uh
  • 00:39:42
    is that not the case that's most things
  • 00:39:44
    alive
  • 00:39:46
    it's an illusion the whole dunya is
  • 00:39:49
    the enjoyment of illusion
  • 00:39:52
    no those cheekbones are not that high
  • 00:39:55
    and that face is not that slim nor is
  • 00:39:56
    the nose and the contouring is all fake
  • 00:39:59
    it's just a filter
  • 00:40:00
    right and there's no dou eyes involved
  • 00:40:02
    either
  • 00:40:03
    right because you got to be careful
  • 00:40:04
    nowadays
  • 00:40:06
    yeah brothers and sisters let's be
  • 00:40:07
    honest here i mean just one instagram
  • 00:40:10
    filter now can it's it's just it's just
  • 00:40:12
    better than a whole facial coverage of
  • 00:40:14
    foundation and setting powder and a
  • 00:40:16
    bronzer and contouring and and all of
  • 00:40:19
    that just one filter is all what you
  • 00:40:20
    need
  • 00:40:23
    so the gains
  • 00:40:24
    how are the gains
  • 00:40:28
    we ask allah to help us with this one
  • 00:40:31
    so test yourself against that and be
  • 00:40:32
    honest
  • 00:40:36
    so this is number one
  • 00:40:38
    number four
  • 00:40:40
    the fifth one brothers and sisters is
  • 00:40:42
    this
  • 00:40:44
    beware of encouraging sin
  • 00:40:46
    and that can happen so
  • 00:40:50
    subtly when using social media beware of
  • 00:40:52
    encouraging sin
  • 00:40:54
    what is the obligation by the way we all
  • 00:40:56
    know the answer when you see a sin in
  • 00:40:58
    front of you what are the obligations to
  • 00:41:00
    change it with your
  • 00:41:02
    with your hand if you are an authority
  • 00:41:04
    if you can't change it with your hand
  • 00:41:05
    what do we do we change it with our
  • 00:41:07
    with our speech if you can't change it
  • 00:41:08
    with your speech what do you change it
  • 00:41:10
    with
  • 00:41:11
    your heart and that is the
  • 00:41:13
    the weakest of iman
  • 00:41:15
    these are the options
  • 00:41:18
    this is the order of obligation
  • 00:41:20
    interestingly
  • 00:41:21
    interestingly that there are some people
  • 00:41:23
    who disregard this completely and they
  • 00:41:25
    go for a fourth option
  • 00:41:27
    instead of changing it with their hands
  • 00:41:29
    or with their mouths or just staying
  • 00:41:30
    quiet about it but feeling pain
  • 00:41:32
    they encourage the sin
  • 00:41:35
    they promote the behavior
  • 00:41:37
    and that's exactly what you have done
  • 00:41:40
    what i have done when we see that image
  • 00:41:42
    and we click like
  • 00:41:45
    what are you doing
  • 00:41:46
    that sin by association
  • 00:41:50
    or when you share
  • 00:41:52
    or when you drop a comment
  • 00:41:54
    that does not help that brother that
  • 00:41:56
    sister come out of their
  • 00:41:58
    darkness their sin
  • 00:42:00
    that sin by association and that is why
  • 00:42:06
    he
  • 00:42:07
    once or his
  • 00:42:08
    people
  • 00:42:10
    arrested a group that were caught
  • 00:42:11
    drinking alcohol in the city
  • 00:42:14
    this is haram in islam and the
  • 00:42:15
    punishment
  • 00:42:16
    the capital punishment or was about to
  • 00:42:18
    carry out upon them
  • 00:42:20
    which is lashing
  • 00:42:22
    so there was one man who who said i
  • 00:42:24
    wasn't drinking alcohol with him i was
  • 00:42:26
    fasting
  • 00:42:28
    he said okay inshaallah we'll begin with
  • 00:42:29
    you
  • 00:42:31
    the punishment will begin what are you
  • 00:42:32
    doing sat with them
  • 00:42:34
    you're fasting why didn't you advise
  • 00:42:36
    them why didn't you move away that is
  • 00:42:37
    what we call sin by association
  • 00:42:40
    so just him being there without saying
  • 00:42:43
    anything um
  • 00:42:46
    that he is to deserve the same
  • 00:42:48
    punishment for not speaking out against
  • 00:42:50
    it and then he quoted the ayah from
  • 00:42:53
    surah nisa
  • 00:42:55
    where allah
  • 00:43:06
    that allah has already revealed to you
  • 00:43:08
    in the book that if you hear people
  • 00:43:10
    mocking the signs of allah or
  • 00:43:12
    disbelieving in allah
  • 00:43:14
    then don't sit with them until they talk
  • 00:43:16
    about something else
  • 00:43:20
    otherwise you will be just like them
  • 00:43:24
    the same sin
  • 00:43:25
    if you're in that gathering you don't
  • 00:43:26
    move what then of somebody who
  • 00:43:28
    encourages through a like or a share or
  • 00:43:30
    an encouragement
  • 00:43:31
    so you see a brother who posts an image
  • 00:43:33
    or he posts let's say a status
  • 00:43:36
    and there is clear backstabbing here
  • 00:43:39
    he's venting his frustration of another
  • 00:43:41
    shaykh
  • 00:43:42
    of knowledge it's clear backstabbing you
  • 00:43:44
    drop a comment you're like you show him
  • 00:43:45
    who's boss bro
  • 00:43:47
    can you go for it show what you're made
  • 00:43:49
    out of you're right i'm with you on that
  • 00:43:51
    expect the same sin from allah if he is
  • 00:43:53
    sinful
  • 00:43:55
    or a sister of ours who posts an image
  • 00:43:58
    of herself that really compromises her
  • 00:44:00
    religion
  • 00:44:01
    and then a sister instead of saying to
  • 00:44:03
    her say your sister may allah bless you
  • 00:44:06
    may allah strengthen you keep this for
  • 00:44:07
    your husband keep this for your muharram
  • 00:44:08
    remember what you will look like when
  • 00:44:10
    the when the maggots start eating into
  • 00:44:12
    your eyes and eating in your intestines
  • 00:44:13
    a week after your death when your body
  • 00:44:15
    swells up and remember remember you give
  • 00:44:17
    her these hot softeners her sister
  • 00:44:18
    advises her no you click the like button
  • 00:44:21
    you just encourage her to continue if
  • 00:44:23
    this person is sinful expect the same
  • 00:44:25
    share for yourself
  • 00:44:28
    yes so beware of encouraging the sin
  • 00:44:31
    dear brothers and sisters
  • 00:44:36
    so i want to mention a sixth one
  • 00:44:40
    and that is the element of being
  • 00:44:41
    two-faced
  • 00:44:43
    two-faced measure yourself against that
  • 00:44:45
    some people
  • 00:44:46
    they have a particular demeanor a
  • 00:44:48
    persona in public
  • 00:44:52
    you know everything is going well
  • 00:44:55
    but then you look on the social media
  • 00:44:56
    you think whoa okay is this person
  • 00:44:57
    schizophrenic does he have a split
  • 00:44:59
    personality is there a bipolar disorder
  • 00:45:01
    some sort it's a completely different
  • 00:45:03
    person it's an all-out pimp
  • 00:45:06
    how can it be it's the same brother in
  • 00:45:08
    the masjid but look how he's presenting
  • 00:45:10
    himself on social media
  • 00:45:12
    this is what i listen to this is the
  • 00:45:13
    people i mix with here's images of me
  • 00:45:15
    what i was doing last weekend this is my
  • 00:45:17
    business it's all haram
  • 00:45:19
    that's being two-faced
  • 00:45:23
    and the messenger sallallahu alaihi
  • 00:45:24
    wasallam said about the people who are
  • 00:45:26
    two-faced and by the way the same
  • 00:45:27
    applies to our counterparts our sisters
  • 00:45:29
    our mothers our
  • 00:45:30
    daughters who in in public she may be
  • 00:45:33
    wearing the finest hijab may allah
  • 00:45:35
    strengthen them it is a test the hijab
  • 00:45:37
    especially today but on social media the
  • 00:45:39
    presentation as if
  • 00:45:41
    everyone's a mahram
  • 00:45:43
    everyone is maharam
  • 00:45:44
    nothing
  • 00:45:45
    how come
  • 00:45:47
    is this not a form of being two-faced
  • 00:45:50
    and the messenger
  • 00:45:52
    said
  • 00:45:54
    he said that the messenger salallahu
  • 00:46:11
    he said you will find that the worst of
  • 00:46:14
    all people on the day of judgement
  • 00:46:17
    with allah will be those who had two
  • 00:46:19
    faces
  • 00:46:21
    they would give a face to these people
  • 00:46:22
    and they would give a different face to
  • 00:46:24
    these people and he said in the hadith
  • 00:46:26
    of abu dhabu
  • 00:46:33
    whoever has two faces in the life of
  • 00:46:35
    this world
  • 00:46:36
    will have two tongues of fire in his
  • 00:46:38
    mouth on the day of judgment
  • 00:46:40
    because you spoke to these people with
  • 00:46:42
    this type of tongue and you spoke to
  • 00:46:44
    these people different type of tongue
  • 00:46:45
    that would be exposed on the day of
  • 00:46:47
    judgment so measure yourself against
  • 00:46:49
    that one as well they're brothers and
  • 00:46:50
    sisters that's number six and i conclude
  • 00:46:52
    with the seventh
  • 00:46:53
    which is
  • 00:46:54
    time time
  • 00:46:59
    what's time saying in your life now that
  • 00:47:02
    you are a social media user how much of
  • 00:47:04
    your day in your evening is it taking
  • 00:47:05
    from you
  • 00:47:08
    and i want you to realize that some of
  • 00:47:09
    us when we have something nicked from
  • 00:47:10
    our lives we hop onto social media guys
  • 00:47:13
    have you seen my phone someone's think
  • 00:47:14
    my phone it's a nokia it's a samsung
  • 00:47:16
    well nokia's old it's an apple or you
  • 00:47:19
    say my car's been nicked it's a bmw
  • 00:47:22
    there's a registration number plate it's
  • 00:47:23
    a black bmw
  • 00:47:24
    but now it's gone
  • 00:47:27
    so you go to social media to complain of
  • 00:47:29
    thieves not realizing that social media
  • 00:47:31
    has been thieving from you for the last
  • 00:47:33
    10 years of the life stealing the most
  • 00:47:35
    precious thing that you have and the
  • 00:47:37
    irreplaceable one that's called time
  • 00:47:41
    we have been the subject of daylight
  • 00:47:43
    robbery
  • 00:47:44
    think about it that's most of us i say
  • 00:47:48
    that's why
  • 00:47:49
    a man like dr calvin newport who was an
  • 00:47:51
    associate professor at georgetown
  • 00:47:52
    university he said that
  • 00:47:56
    social
  • 00:47:57
    media platforms have hired
  • 00:48:00
    entertainment engineers who borrow their
  • 00:48:03
    entertainment techniques from the la
  • 00:48:05
    casino gambling houses to make social
  • 00:48:08
    media as addictive as possible there's a
  • 00:48:11
    whole psychotherapy there's a whole
  • 00:48:13
    psychology behind the design of social
  • 00:48:15
    media that notification that sound the
  • 00:48:17
    color contrast that red number that
  • 00:48:19
    appears over that blue icon makes you
  • 00:48:21
    feel that you want to check it
  • 00:48:23
    in fact if i showed you my phone now and
  • 00:48:25
    you saw a notification on my socials you
  • 00:48:28
    would want to check it for me
  • 00:48:30
    it's like you wanna
  • 00:48:32
    sorry what
  • 00:48:33
    you want to check your notifications if
  • 00:48:35
    it's mine it's not yours
  • 00:48:37
    that's what happens because it's highly
  • 00:48:39
    addictive it's highly entertaining it's
  • 00:48:41
    a slot machine that's been put onto your
  • 00:48:43
    phone and you've installed onto your
  • 00:48:44
    heart
  • 00:48:46
    right so time what does that do to time
  • 00:48:48
    it usurps you it saps you of your time
  • 00:48:52
    if we are not careful that
  • 00:49:00
    he said oh son is adam you are made up
  • 00:49:04
    of days skin bone nerves no he said
  • 00:49:06
    you're made up of days so when a day
  • 00:49:09
    from your life passes by part of you has
  • 00:49:11
    disappeared
  • 00:49:13
    part of you has disappeared
  • 00:49:17
    and even
  • 00:49:20
    who has authored the biggest book
  • 00:49:23
    in history
  • 00:49:24
    in terms of volume numbers called
  • 00:49:26
    kitabul funon he said in
  • 00:49:31
    i have made it haram for me to waste a
  • 00:49:34
    single moment from my life
  • 00:49:37
    time dear brothers and sisters what are
  • 00:49:39
    you spending your time with please
  • 00:49:41
    see a concluding message before we wrap
  • 00:49:44
    up this message in this lecture and that
  • 00:49:45
    is
  • 00:49:49
    it's about how you see yourself
  • 00:49:53
    what light do you see yourself in yani
  • 00:49:56
    when you look into the mirror what
  • 00:49:58
    person do you see
  • 00:50:01
    do you see a helpless person mosquito
  • 00:50:03
    with no ambitions no vision no future
  • 00:50:06
    so khalas you've got to occupy yourself
  • 00:50:08
    with going through endless scrolls and
  • 00:50:10
    endless feeds and seeing the latest
  • 00:50:12
    tick-tock dance and trying to copy it
  • 00:50:14
    how do you see yourself it's about how
  • 00:50:15
    you see yourself or do you look into the
  • 00:50:17
    mirror and you say dignified muslim
  • 00:50:20
    dignified muslim i have a project ahead
  • 00:50:22
    of me
  • 00:50:23
    i have a paradise i have to justify my
  • 00:50:26
    tears for i have a short life ahead of
  • 00:50:29
    me i have a lord i need to honor him
  • 00:50:31
    please
  • 00:50:32
    i have a community i need to build i
  • 00:50:34
    have a religion i have to glorify i have
  • 00:50:36
    a message i have to convey i have a body
  • 00:50:38
    i want to keep healthy i have my dad i
  • 00:50:40
    want to honor
  • 00:50:41
    if you see that person then you wouldn't
  • 00:50:44
    allow yourself to spend hours of your
  • 00:50:46
    day endlessly scrolling because you know
  • 00:50:48
    your time is gold and you know your
  • 00:50:50
    worth is more than that
  • 00:50:54
    want to know your worth
  • 00:50:56
    look at where allah has stationed you
  • 00:50:57
    what are you doing
  • 00:51:04
    whoever wants to know of his station
  • 00:51:06
    with allah
  • 00:51:08
    just look at where allah has stationed
  • 00:51:10
    you
  • 00:51:12
    what defines your day
  • 00:51:14
    like how do you know if an employee has
  • 00:51:17
    a particular status at work you look at
  • 00:51:19
    where his employer has stationed him if
  • 00:51:21
    he stationed him with the trash you know
  • 00:51:23
    that this is his position if he
  • 00:51:25
    stationed him as a treasurer you know
  • 00:51:26
    his this is his position so where has
  • 00:51:28
    allah stationed you
  • 00:51:30
    if you're spending your days just going
  • 00:51:32
    through other people's waste and sewage
  • 00:51:36
    could it be a sign of your station in
  • 00:51:38
    the eyes of allah is not that high
  • 00:51:40
    so he's kept you busy with these petty
  • 00:51:42
    stuff
  • 00:51:44
    or is it that you say no it's time to
  • 00:51:46
    give it a break
  • 00:51:47
    it's time to think big now to plan
  • 00:51:49
    visionary style this is a sign of where
  • 00:51:51
    your station is in the eyes of allah
  • 00:51:53
    brothers and sisters
  • 00:51:55
    i personally believe it's no longer
  • 00:51:57
    sufficient
  • 00:51:58
    to say
  • 00:52:00
    i'm going to have social media because
  • 00:52:01
    it's harmless
  • 00:52:03
    so i'll have social media because it's
  • 00:52:05
    not affecting me i think that
  • 00:52:07
    argument is out of date
  • 00:52:10
    today with what we know and the effects
  • 00:52:13
    we are seeing on us and our children
  • 00:52:16
    the only opportunity the only choice we
  • 00:52:19
    have is to sit down with ourselves to
  • 00:52:21
    check in
  • 00:52:22
    and to look at the positives that you
  • 00:52:24
    are gaining from your social media and
  • 00:52:26
    then you weigh it up against the heaps
  • 00:52:28
    of evidence that are speaking today
  • 00:52:31
    against or about the harmful effects of
  • 00:52:33
    social media then you make the decision
  • 00:52:36
    and you will find if you are honest with
  • 00:52:39
    yourself dear brother dear sister that
  • 00:52:40
    for the overwhelming majority of us
  • 00:52:43
    social media is purely and only and
  • 00:52:46
    solely and exclusively a source of
  • 00:52:48
    entertainment nothing more nothing else
  • 00:52:50
    and a form of escapism to run away from
  • 00:52:53
    the challenges and the struggles of real
  • 00:52:54
    life work and real life grind
  • 00:52:59
    so you want to know if social media is
  • 00:53:01
    halal or
  • 00:53:02
    no one's going to give you a ruling like
  • 00:53:03
    that
  • 00:53:06
    but you can give yourself a ruling on an
  • 00:53:08
    individual level
  • 00:53:10
    because why is alcohol in gambling haram
  • 00:53:22
    say to people there is good in gambling
  • 00:53:24
    or say to people there is great sin in
  • 00:53:27
    gambling and alcohol and benefit for
  • 00:53:30
    people
  • 00:53:31
    so allah is saying look at how balanced
  • 00:53:33
    the religion is
  • 00:53:34
    there is some good in alcohol
  • 00:53:37
    it can give you perhaps
  • 00:53:38
    temporary stress-free life temporary
  • 00:53:42
    moments
  • 00:53:44
    there's some benefit in it people make
  • 00:53:45
    money out of it for example haram money
  • 00:53:47
    but it's money
  • 00:53:49
    gambling again people also make some
  • 00:53:51
    money out of it
  • 00:53:52
    there are some benefits for people in it
  • 00:53:54
    but there are great sins and allah says
  • 00:54:00
    but the sins involved in them both
  • 00:54:02
    outweigh their good thus they are
  • 00:54:06
    so you look at your social media in the
  • 00:54:07
    same light
  • 00:54:10
    is the evil outweighing the good i've
  • 00:54:12
    given you six or seven elements to think
  • 00:54:15
    about
  • 00:54:16
    is the sin outweighing the good
  • 00:54:19
    at the end of the evening do you feel
  • 00:54:20
    empowered enriched do you feel
  • 00:54:21
    spiritually refined because of social
  • 00:54:23
    media i say to you good for you bro more
  • 00:54:25
    power to you
  • 00:54:27
    if you feel that no you feel you feel
  • 00:54:29
    that inner sense of rot man
  • 00:54:32
    lost
  • 00:54:33
    dark you're not the feeling
  • 00:54:36
    you just wasted an hour on nothing
  • 00:54:38
    let alone sin
  • 00:54:40
    then careful it could be haram for you
  • 00:54:42
    as an individual
  • 00:54:44
    you give the ruling based upon how you
  • 00:54:45
    feel at the end of the day when you use
  • 00:54:47
    it end of the year
  • 00:54:50
    so brothers and sisters please this is
  • 00:54:52
    an appeal appeal even if you've decided
  • 00:54:55
    to stay on socials for one reason or
  • 00:54:57
    another i say to you
  • 00:55:00
    remove those electronic hallucinations
  • 00:55:02
    from your life
  • 00:55:05
    check in with your lord
  • 00:55:07
    and remove the applications that you
  • 00:55:09
    don't use uninstall as many of them as
  • 00:55:11
    you can
  • 00:55:12
    keep the bare minimum if you have to
  • 00:55:14
    stay
  • 00:55:16
    and then the notifications disable them
  • 00:55:20
    disable them move the application to a
  • 00:55:22
    page that's not on your homepage so that
  • 00:55:24
    it's not always telling you you've got a
  • 00:55:25
    new message and then disable the app the
  • 00:55:27
    notification so that you can't hear it
  • 00:55:31
    and then you assess yourself whether you
  • 00:55:32
    have an addiction or not if you get
  • 00:55:34
    nervous when your phone is out of sight
  • 00:55:36
    you're an addict
  • 00:55:38
    if the very first thing you feel to do
  • 00:55:40
    when you wake up in the morning and you
  • 00:55:42
    still got one eye closed and you're
  • 00:55:43
    tapping around trying to find your phone
  • 00:55:45
    before you say asmulkul
  • 00:55:51
    if it's the last thing you look at
  • 00:55:53
    before going to sleep
  • 00:55:55
    you're an addict
  • 00:55:58
    if you panic when you feel a buzz in
  • 00:56:00
    your pocket and
  • 00:56:02
    you really want to interrupt the
  • 00:56:03
    conversation you don't seem rude you
  • 00:56:04
    want to see who messaged you you're an
  • 00:56:07
    addict
  • 00:56:08
    when you realize this
  • 00:56:11
    so brothers and sisters life is short
  • 00:56:13
    your life is precious
  • 00:56:15
    and only put your time and effort in
  • 00:56:18
    that which will give you the greatest
  • 00:56:19
    returns in the hereafter and about the
  • 00:56:21
    fomo the fear of missing out don't worry
  • 00:56:23
    you're not going to miss out
  • 00:56:25
    you can walk away from social media if
  • 00:56:27
    that's what you decided to do and you've
  • 00:56:28
    concluded that it's harming you you can
  • 00:56:30
    walk away and guess what you live a
  • 00:56:32
    little bit happier too
  • 00:56:34
    and you'll still be relevant
  • 00:56:36
    and you still know what you know what's
  • 00:56:38
    going on in the news
  • 00:56:39
    and you still be relevant in the economy
  • 00:56:41
    and people still want to hire you as a
  • 00:56:42
    professional you're not gonna miss out
  • 00:56:44
    you just might
  • 00:56:46
    be a little bit happier and a little bit
  • 00:56:48
    closer to the pleasure of allah
  • 00:56:53
    these are
  • 00:56:55
    some bits of reflection i wanted to
  • 00:56:56
    share with you about social media
  • 00:56:59
    maybe i've come across as a little bit
  • 00:57:00
    biased
  • 00:57:01
    it wasn't the intention the intention is
  • 00:57:03
    simply to share with you
  • 00:57:05
    seven
  • 00:57:06
    uh components that you can measure
  • 00:57:08
    yourself against and then you decide
  • 00:57:10
    honestly what your future is with these
  • 00:57:13
    platforms
Tags
  • comunicazione
  • evoluzione tecnologica
  • social media
  • internet
  • islam
  • pro e contro
  • detox digitale
  • dipendenza
  • socializzazione
  • sicurezza online