week two techlive

00:58:48
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbA0D-plNbg

Résumé

TLDRIn this recorded lecture, the instructor discusses course logistics, such as the non-necessity of submitting reflections unless the students wish to, and indicates that the week's focus is on chapters 5 and 6. The main themes include trust and power dynamics within relationships, with coverage on calculus-based trust (built on fear of consequences) and identification-based trust (built on shared identity). Active listening is highlighted as vital to resolving conflicts. Students are observed into using key chapter concepts deliberately in their discussions. Moreover, there are strategies for repairing trust through genuine apologies and understanding authoritarianism through psychodynamic views regarding early life experiences. The lecture encourages students to select broad topics like political issues, environmental conflicts, or social policies for their discussion boards.

A retenir

  • 📚 Focus on chapters 5 and 6 regarding trust and power.
  • 🙅‍♂️ You don't need to submit reflections unless desired.
  • 🔑 Use key chapter concepts in discussions.
  • 💔 Trust is foundational and difficult to regain once lost.
  • 💡 Calculus-based trust is motivated by fear of consequences.
  • 🤝 Identification-based trust develops through shared identity.
  • 👂 Active listening involves being fully engaged without distractions.
  • 🛠 Repairing trust requires sincere apologies.
  • ⚖ Power dynamics are integral in conflict resolution.
  • 🌍 Broader topics for discussion can include world issues and policies.

Chronologie

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The speaker informs participants that they don't need to submit reflections but can share if desired. This week's focus is on chapters 5 and 6, with one exam question to be covered. Due to the holiday schedule, there's a unique break after week four, resuming for weeks five and six. The speaker emphasizes using key chapter concepts in discussion boards, encouraging intentional vocabulary use.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The importance of trust in relationships is highlighted. Trust is described as the glue that holds relationships together. The speaker shares personal experiences with trusting their children and the difficulty in rebuilding trust once broken. Trust is said to be earned in small amounts and lost significantly. The speaker addresses the complex definition of trust and the difficulty scholars have in defining it.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Calculus-based trust and its primary motivator are explained. It's described as trust based on the consistency of behavior and the fear of consequences if violated. The speaker uses an example of gangs to illustrate deterrence-based trust, noting that trust doesn't necessarily involve respect or liking someone.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The speaker describes calculus-based trust as slow-building and often seen in business contexts. Personal stories are shared to illustrate how calculated trust functions in real life, involving risks and measured steps. The potential consequences of broken calculus-based trust are highlighted, emphasizing the challenges in rebuilding it.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    Comparison between calculus-based trust and identification-based trust is introduced. Identification-based trust involves recognizing and aligning with others' desires and intentions. The speaker uses examples like friendships and choir harmonization to explain how identification-based trust forms and functions in relationships.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    The discussion moves to how trust levels are influenced by personality and previous experiences. The speaker shares their personal background, linking childhood experiences to current trust issues. This section delves into trust violations and the emotional impacts of broken trust, describing how trust, once violated, can permanently alter relationships.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    Trust repair strategies are discussed, including the importance of sincere apologies and tangible actions. A six-step apology process is detailed for expressing regret, explaining causes, and making reparations. The speaker emphasizes the role of trust violations in conflicts and the need for calculated and identification-based trust building.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    The chapter transitions into the intricate relationship between power and trust. Power dynamics within various settings are explored, noting their impact on trust. The speaker discusses the importance of understanding different power bases and the role of environmental, relational, and personal power in shaping social interactions and trust.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:00

    The concept of power in conflict is elaborated, differentiating between primary and secondary power. The primary focus is on the beliefs and ideologies that drive interactions, while secondary power is about exercising that power within social contexts. Examples include political and media influence, emphasizing how power affects reality and policy.

  • 00:45:00 - 00:50:00

    Authoritarianism and its psychodynamic roots are explored. Authoritarianism involves a need to submit to strong authority due to harsh upbringing, leading to a punitive approach to power relations. The speaker describes this dynamic through examples of workplace hierarchies and childhood experiences, explaining how early environments shape power perceptions.

  • 00:50:00 - 00:58:48

    The session concludes with a summary of key points, emphasizing participants' need to engage in discussions and reflection. Practical applications of trust and power theories are underscored, encouraging participants to utilize these concepts in their coursework. The speaker invites questions and remains available for further discussion, ensuring clarity on essay and discussion expectations.

Afficher plus

Carte mentale

Vidéo Q&R

  • What chapters are being covered this week?

    Chapters 5 and 6 are being covered this week.

  • Is it necessary to submit the reflection?

    It's not necessary unless you choose to write something you want to share.

  • How is trust described in the lecture?

    Trust is considered the foundation in relationships and can be difficult to regain once lost.

  • What is calculus-based trust?

    Calculus-based trust is based on the consistency of behavior and the fear of consequences, motivating people to keep promises.

  • What is identification-based trust?

    Identification-based trust is based on identifying with someone through shared desires and intentions, developing a collective identity.

  • What types of topics can be discussed on the discussion board?

    Topics can include world political scenarios, environmental issues, social rights, labor unions, and more.

  • What is the significance of active listening in communication?

    Active listening involves not getting distracted, asking for clarifications, and understanding the speaker's perspective.

  • How is trust repaired according to the lecture?

    Trust can be repaired with sincere apologies which include expressing regret, acknowledging responsibility, and declaring repentance.

  • How does power relate to conflict?

    Power involves leveraging one's influence to achieve personal goals and is present in all relationships.

  • What are some examples of discussion board topics mentioned?

    Examples include labor unions, electric vs. gas cars, migrant funding, and Reproductive Rights.

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Défilement automatique:
  • 00:00:01
    all right now I'm officially
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    recording I have four people down I have
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    your names which means um you do not
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    need to submit the reflection unless you
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    choose to write something that you want
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    to share but um you don't need to okay
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    so if you have any questions just
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    interrupt me I don't consider that rude
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    or put a message in the um
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    public chat there and I'll answer the
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    questions as we go this week we're
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    covering chapters uh five and six there
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    are three questions which would be part
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    of your exam one we will have covered by
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    the end of this evening because there
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    are eight essay questions for exam um
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    one now remember this is weird because
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    of
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    Christmas um we only have next week and
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    then I believe we we have a couple weeks
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    off if I have the schedule
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    right uh next week ends on December
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    15 nope I am wrong we have week four and
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    then we take a break for two weeks and
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    come back for weeks five and six so this
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    is an unusual time um where it's kind of
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    divided they've never done that for the
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    last couple years they have so moving
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    right along uh discussion board this
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    week is your first one a couple people
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    have done the discussion board they um
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    have great
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    articles I I want to emphasize to
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    everyone to to please
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    intentionally um use key chapter
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    Concepts and by that I mean um hi
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    Jessica write your name down uh if
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    you're doing
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    uh what you think is enough it's
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    probably you need to add a little bit
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    more and by intentional look under the
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    announcements that was an example of one
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    they could have used more but but they
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    um underlined and highlighted some of
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    the concepts I've given examples on
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    feedback of anybody who has already
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    submitted theirs on how to do
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    that use the vocabulary terms and I know
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    that many people are thinking well duh
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    people should know
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    that you need to say you know in the
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    chapter why didn't they use the
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    perspective taking Paradigm I think this
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    could help you can see that there's a
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    lack of of trust here because of such
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    and such and such um uh there were power
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    plays and we'll get into some of those
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    in the next chapter where you can use
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    specific words or
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    terms does that make
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    sense if not let me know I'll be glad to
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    go over with you or put something in the
  • 00:03:01
    public chat be intentional of the use of
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    the concepts from the
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    chapter now someone else said you know I
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    don't know too much about what's going
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    on in the world politically um as far as
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    Wars and history and that's okay um I
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    have a couple um discussion topics that
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    people have used that have nothing to do
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    with fighting and Wars it could be um
  • 00:03:26
    and there is a lot with fighting in Wars
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    I mean you could write the entire six
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    weeks on those there's Wars all over the
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    place um you could do stuff on the
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    border wall you could do
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    um stuff on labor unions you could do
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    stuff on gas cars versus electric
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    cars you could do haa a Haitian uh gangs
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    that are over trying to overthrow their
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    government
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    [Music]
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    um you could
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    do um environmental uh pipeline
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    issues you could do lumbering issues you
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    could do
  • 00:04:09
    um migrant funding in Chicago New York
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    there's a lot of news on that um
  • 00:04:16
    Reproductive Rights Flint Michigan in
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    the water you could do the lack of help
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    to people in North Carolina through FEMA
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    and why they are not getting the support
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    from the federal government
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    [Music]
  • 00:04:33
    um December you could do it with the um
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    chemical Hazard uh due to the train in
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    Ohio that
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    um train wrecked
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    and it was a catastrophe they actually
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    blew up one one uh train car trying to
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    dissipate the chemicals which made it
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    worse saturated
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    the soil the land the water everything
  • 00:05:03
    is useless people are getting sick it's
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    going to be a long term and they want to
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    give everybody a thousand bucks yeah I'm
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    going to cut it they can't sell their
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    land their property nothing um that is
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    an issue going
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    on oh those are just a few things that
  • 00:05:21
    that I've come up with oh someone did
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    something on the little Roundup in 1863
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    and Gettysburg it it it wasn't current
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    but you know they did it gun control all
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    right those are just some topics that
  • 00:05:35
    might
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    help moving on to the essay this week
  • 00:05:40
    There's an announcement it shows um how
  • 00:05:44
    to set up your essay that may not be the
  • 00:05:47
    only way but to me it was a pretty cut
  • 00:05:49
    and dried way to do it uh read over that
  • 00:05:54
    and see see what you think okay if you
  • 00:05:57
    have questions let me know it is a APA
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    but only for the title
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    page look under student resources it'll
  • 00:06:05
    give you additional resources to look up
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    how to do it or you can Google it and
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    they'll show you how to do it not a
  • 00:06:12
    problem okay questions so
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    far right before class started I went
  • 00:06:20
    ahead and released essay two which is
  • 00:06:24
    due week three that would be next week
  • 00:06:29
    because some of you have other
  • 00:06:31
    obligations and are working ahead it's
  • 00:06:34
    over chapter 34 it's pretty uh specific
  • 00:06:38
    you can read and then get back with me
  • 00:06:41
    with whatever questions you have all
  • 00:06:44
    right so we did chapter seven last week
  • 00:06:49
    communication and the takeaways are
  • 00:06:52
    conflict isn't of inevitable the human
  • 00:06:55
    race has disagreements you have
  • 00:06:57
    disagreements with your spouses with
  • 00:06:59
    your children with your significant
  • 00:07:01
    others with your co-workers um it it's a
  • 00:07:04
    way of life all right it has to do with
  • 00:07:07
    different values different motivations
  • 00:07:09
    perceptions desires ideas that you have
  • 00:07:13
    early intervention helps the sooner you
  • 00:07:16
    can get in to deal with it the sooner
  • 00:07:19
    that you can agree to disagree the
  • 00:07:22
    sooner that you can resolve it the
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    problem is when you're emotionally
  • 00:07:26
    attached or upset or angry or frustrated
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    rated or spiteful revengeful whatever it
  • 00:07:32
    is you don't want to resolve it and
  • 00:07:34
    that's the issue the emotional thing so
  • 00:07:36
    if you can set the emotions aside and
  • 00:07:39
    work on the betterment of what needs to
  • 00:07:42
    be done doesn't mean you're ever going
  • 00:07:43
    to be friends doesn't mean you're ever
  • 00:07:45
    going to like each other but you can
  • 00:07:46
    resolve the
  • 00:07:49
    issue just just putting that out there
  • 00:07:52
    the key is active listening and someone
  • 00:07:54
    says well what is active listening it
  • 00:07:56
    means I'm not looking on my phone it
  • 00:07:58
    means that I'm looking over the shoulder
  • 00:08:01
    it doesn't it means that um I'm not
  • 00:08:03
    looking at my
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    watch um it means I'm asking questions
  • 00:08:08
    for
  • 00:08:09
    clarification I'm saying okay so you're
  • 00:08:11
    saying
  • 00:08:13
    paraphrasing um it's it's concentrating
  • 00:08:16
    its understanding with a an open heart
  • 00:08:19
    does not mean that you're going to
  • 00:08:22
    agree it just means that you are
  • 00:08:25
    listening perspective taking um Paradigm
  • 00:08:29
    that we studied last
  • 00:08:31
    week some of you may or may not have a
  • 00:08:34
    high emotional intelligence IQ would be
  • 00:08:38
    intellectual intelligence very skilled
  • 00:08:41
    at something but not very skilled with
  • 00:08:44
    relationships and emotional intelligence
  • 00:08:48
    understanding when people are angry
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    frustrated sad um and then controlling
  • 00:08:54
    emotions and imag um
  • 00:08:56
    uh managing your emotions and emotions
  • 00:08:59
    is another name for
  • 00:09:01
    feelings humans all have
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    them sometimes based on your personality
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    it's a lot easier to manage and control
  • 00:09:09
    emotions but um some people are very
  • 00:09:12
    emotional and those that are very
  • 00:09:14
    emotional need to be less emotional
  • 00:09:17
    during
  • 00:09:19
    conflict um stuff it put it aside and
  • 00:09:23
    those that are too intellectual need to
  • 00:09:26
    probably be more emotional
  • 00:09:28
    moderation those are all easy to say but
  • 00:09:31
    it's hard to do when you're hardwired
  • 00:09:34
    kind of a certain way but it is possible
  • 00:09:36
    to learn strategies and
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    skill all right and trying to find
  • 00:09:42
    win-win not one upmanship not I'm better
  • 00:09:45
    than you type of situations if you can
  • 00:09:48
    those are um not always easy to do but
  • 00:09:51
    but there is some
  • 00:09:53
    possibilities um that we'll talk about
  • 00:09:55
    strategies that can help questions
  • 00:09:59
    all right let's go on to page
  • 00:10:02
    104 and some of you learn best by just
  • 00:10:05
    listening others are kind of doodling on
  • 00:10:07
    your paper and others might have the
  • 00:10:10
    book and taking notes whatever works for
  • 00:10:12
    you so we're on chapter five it's called
  • 00:10:14
    trust trust development and Trust
  • 00:10:18
    repair all right most
  • 00:10:21
    relationships um in the book says that
  • 00:10:24
    um in Conflict trust is in the m is in
  • 00:10:28
    the middle it is like the
  • 00:10:30
    foundation and um most people I think
  • 00:10:33
    that trust is the book says this glue
  • 00:10:36
    that holds a relationship together
  • 00:10:39
    without
  • 00:10:41
    trust it's very difficult to move
  • 00:10:45
    on um I'm sure you've been or heard of
  • 00:10:47
    situations where either bosses are not
  • 00:10:50
    trustworthy for whatever reason or in
  • 00:10:53
    relationships uh when people are
  • 00:10:56
    Unfaithful um either physically or
  • 00:10:58
    emotionally just not there it's hard to
  • 00:11:01
    regain those trust
  • 00:11:03
    back um I love my kids but as teenagers
  • 00:11:07
    and and middle schoolers I loved them
  • 00:11:09
    but I did not trust them all right when
  • 00:11:13
    I followed through whether they knew it
  • 00:11:15
    or not were they supposed were they at
  • 00:11:19
    where they were supposed to be because I
  • 00:11:21
    know it was a big wild world out there
  • 00:11:24
    and they were experimenting and um you
  • 00:11:28
    know kids don't know always think and
  • 00:11:29
    they do stupid stuff so um the trust
  • 00:11:32
    wasn't there loved them didn't always
  • 00:11:34
    trust them and then once they broke my
  • 00:11:36
    trust it was really difficult to get
  • 00:11:39
    that trust back um there's a
  • 00:11:42
    saying that uh trust is built in
  • 00:11:47
    ounces and
  • 00:11:49
    um once that's gone uh it takes away
  • 00:11:54
    pounds I'm sure I misquote it says trust
  • 00:11:56
    is earned in ounces in lost in pounds if
  • 00:12:00
    you think about trust that way so the
  • 00:12:03
    book says well what is trust how do you
  • 00:12:04
    define trust what what is the term well
  • 00:12:07
    the problem is it's um nebulous it's a a
  • 00:12:12
    floating definition uh Scholars who have
  • 00:12:15
    studied this can't really come up with a
  • 00:12:18
    tried and true definition of trust and
  • 00:12:23
    um it's just critical in the social
  • 00:12:26
    process and we've had personality
  • 00:12:28
    therapy they talk about in 105 they've
  • 00:12:31
    had
  • 00:12:32
    sociologists um economists talk about
  • 00:12:36
    trust so what is trust well if you go to
  • 00:12:40
    page 106 it'll give you the definition
  • 00:12:42
    of this book's definition of trust which
  • 00:12:46
    may or may not you know be there see
  • 00:12:49
    what you think at the very top of 106
  • 00:12:52
    it's a an individual's belief our belief
  • 00:12:56
    to believe in and willing to act on the
  • 00:13:00
    basis of the words the actions and the
  • 00:13:04
    decisions of
  • 00:13:07
    others and some of you because of past
  • 00:13:10
    experiences
  • 00:13:13
    um Can can pick up lies or deception
  • 00:13:17
    better than others that are that are um
  • 00:13:20
    maybe more naive or or don't have um
  • 00:13:24
    different experiences so uh do the words
  • 00:13:28
    and the actions match you know I know
  • 00:13:30
    know a lot of people that talk talk the
  • 00:13:32
    talk they're great talkers all right
  • 00:13:34
    they're smooth con
  • 00:13:36
    manipulators their actions don't match
  • 00:13:39
    their
  • 00:13:41
    words that's kind of how I simplify it
  • 00:13:44
    you might have another way so if you go
  • 00:13:46
    down um to 106 this is an essay question
  • 00:13:51
    that's going to be on on the
  • 00:13:54
    exam the question is what is calcul
  • 00:13:59
    based
  • 00:14:00
    trust and what is its primary
  • 00:14:04
    motivator it's a two-part question and
  • 00:14:07
    I'll tell you every time I've taught
  • 00:14:09
    this class there's at least a couple
  • 00:14:11
    that don't tell me what the primary
  • 00:14:13
    mootor motivator is and it's because I
  • 00:14:15
    know they didn't take time to read the
  • 00:14:17
    chapter
  • 00:14:18
    and um you know that you get like I
  • 00:14:22
    think it's uh 200 Point quiz 25 points
  • 00:14:27
    each that's a big deal when you don't
  • 00:14:29
    answer half of it so if you go down make
  • 00:14:32
    sure you do that Define it give it
  • 00:14:36
    example and tell me what the motivator
  • 00:14:38
    is so if you go down to the bottom of
  • 00:14:41
    106 that first
  • 00:14:44
    sentence
  • 00:14:45
    calculated think of calculus in school
  • 00:14:49
    or maybe you don't want to uh um how do
  • 00:14:53
    you calculate uh to think to rationale
  • 00:14:56
    to to decide
  • 00:14:59
    um for or against something what are the
  • 00:15:02
    wrists and vows what are the pros what
  • 00:15:04
    are the cons how you calculate what
  • 00:15:07
    you're going to do you have 20 bucks how
  • 00:15:09
    you going to calculate how you're going
  • 00:15:11
    to spend it okay so it's called a
  • 00:15:15
    deterence based trust deterence um
  • 00:15:20
    means
  • 00:15:22
    uh
  • 00:15:24
    uh like of a detour something against
  • 00:15:28
    going away what why do you go this way
  • 00:15:32
    it's um it's a form of trust that's in
  • 00:15:36
    based on the
  • 00:15:38
    consistency of behavior individuals do
  • 00:15:41
    what they promise because they fear top
  • 00:15:45
    of 107 the consequences for not doing
  • 00:15:49
    something trust is sustained to the
  • 00:15:52
    degree that the deterrent which they say
  • 00:15:56
    is the punishment
  • 00:16:00
    um clear possible and likely to occur if
  • 00:16:04
    trust is vo a violated so it says the
  • 00:16:09
    threat of punishment or the fear of
  • 00:16:11
    punishment is the
  • 00:16:16
    motivator
  • 00:16:19
    example this is
  • 00:16:21
    probably one example is um people join
  • 00:16:24
    um gangs all right um one maybe they
  • 00:16:28
    want a family two they want the
  • 00:16:30
    protection three they don't have um
  • 00:16:33
    other resources to get ahead financially
  • 00:16:38
    quickly it's very
  • 00:16:40
    dangerous um if you don't follow through
  • 00:16:43
    and do what you're supposed to starting
  • 00:16:45
    at the bottom and going up uh moving up
  • 00:16:49
    the line uh you are killed you are
  • 00:16:55
    tortured you are punished your family
  • 00:16:59
    members are
  • 00:17:00
    punished that's a deteriorate um based
  • 00:17:04
    trust it's it's not really based on
  • 00:17:06
    respect it's based on are you going to
  • 00:17:09
    do what you say you're going to do as
  • 00:17:11
    the person running the show and are you
  • 00:17:13
    willing to go along and do what's
  • 00:17:16
    needed but you don't it doesn't mean you
  • 00:17:19
    have to respect them it doesn't even
  • 00:17:20
    mean you have to like them in jobs you
  • 00:17:24
    might have a boss
  • 00:17:27
    uh let's see calculated based trust uh
  • 00:17:31
    my daughter uh took a job a couple years
  • 00:17:33
    ago um she's been in the workforce for
  • 00:17:35
    16 years and um she said she called and
  • 00:17:39
    she she doesn't really talk too much
  • 00:17:41
    about work too much and she said my boss
  • 00:17:45
    he's terrible and she says I have in 16
  • 00:17:48
    years and she makes six figure job she
  • 00:17:50
    does a good job she likes what she's
  • 00:17:51
    doing she's smart but she says in 16
  • 00:17:54
    years I've never had a boss where I
  • 00:17:55
    can't work with through or around
  • 00:17:59
    this guy is very smart but he is not a
  • 00:18:03
    good leader of people okay so this
  • 00:18:05
    started and then recently some stuff
  • 00:18:07
    came up where she she has never in 16
  • 00:18:10
    years gone to HR because you know once
  • 00:18:13
    you go to HR Human Resources chances are
  • 00:18:16
    they're going to look to fire you or
  • 00:18:17
    you're on the Revenge naughty list for
  • 00:18:20
    the boss well three weeks each week he
  • 00:18:24
    did something very spiteful and
  • 00:18:26
    revengeful um this would be the threat
  • 00:18:29
    of punishment and she decided that she
  • 00:18:32
    understood the risk she was taking when
  • 00:18:35
    he put her in the middle between other
  • 00:18:37
    people and told her to document stuff so
  • 00:18:40
    they could use it negatively against
  • 00:18:42
    somebody else's um evaluation and and
  • 00:18:45
    she said no I'm not I won't do that this
  • 00:18:47
    has got to be an HR thing that is I'm
  • 00:18:50
    not going to do it um that is not my
  • 00:18:52
    rule I don't that that's not my
  • 00:18:55
    assignment I'm not going to do it or he'
  • 00:18:58
    asked her to fudge some figures on
  • 00:19:00
    something she said no I won to it I
  • 00:19:02
    wasn't here then they don't represent me
  • 00:19:05
    I'm not going to do that um so anyway
  • 00:19:07
    since she's gone to HR each week he's
  • 00:19:10
    done something very um
  • 00:19:14
    spiteful
  • 00:19:16
    intimidating and you know she say she
  • 00:19:18
    gets fired she gets fired obviously
  • 00:19:19
    she's actively looking for a job within
  • 00:19:21
    the company or with out but um this
  • 00:19:25
    would be um the threat and theyed use
  • 00:19:29
    the example in the book of the
  • 00:19:31
    children's game Shoots and
  • 00:19:33
    Ladders so yeah yeah um I think you roll
  • 00:19:37
    the dice and you go up this ladder and
  • 00:19:39
    if you land on a certain spot you can
  • 00:19:41
    even go up three or four steps higher
  • 00:19:44
    but then if you um fall on a chute it's
  • 00:19:47
    like a slide you go back to the
  • 00:19:49
    beginning or you lose several spots so
  • 00:19:52
    with this type of
  • 00:19:56
    trust um
  • 00:19:59
    in little baby steps but once it's
  • 00:20:02
    broken you start all over again and
  • 00:20:06
    sometimes you never even get it back
  • 00:20:08
    okay a couple examples I share those
  • 00:20:10
    examples to to give an example of what
  • 00:20:13
    that might look like in real life it's
  • 00:20:15
    step by step slowly
  • 00:20:18
    building um that's called calculus-based
  • 00:20:21
    trust some people jump into it because
  • 00:20:24
    the rewards that they get might be worth
  • 00:20:27
    the fear of what
  • 00:20:29
    punishment and if punishment were only
  • 00:20:31
    being fired that would be fine but um
  • 00:20:35
    sometimes you get so deep into stuff it
  • 00:20:39
    um terrible it's a lot worse I mean
  • 00:20:42
    we're talking bodily harm physical harm
  • 00:20:45
    you know shame uh public ridicule
  • 00:20:49
    everything in your whole life n of us
  • 00:20:52
    are perfect and we've all made mistakes
  • 00:20:54
    that we don't care to have splashed over
  • 00:20:56
    the news um that shouldn't Define one
  • 00:21:00
    incident um or even a couple defined you
  • 00:21:03
    as a human because I think we kind of
  • 00:21:06
    grow hopefully and become wiser and
  • 00:21:08
    Discerning through our experiences in
  • 00:21:10
    some Rel um some people don't most I
  • 00:21:13
    would say do at least I like to think
  • 00:21:16
    that okay
  • 00:21:18
    so this trust um is very
  • 00:21:22
    calculated step by step and um you see
  • 00:21:27
    this mostly in businesses you might work
  • 00:21:30
    with somebody that's a boss and you
  • 00:21:31
    might like them you might respect them
  • 00:21:34
    um um or her whomever and uh it's not
  • 00:21:38
    like you're ever going to be best
  • 00:21:40
    friends with them all right even if you
  • 00:21:41
    could be you wouldn't be all right that
  • 00:21:44
    type of thing you can work with them
  • 00:21:46
    you're not taking home with them
  • 00:21:49
    questions on that so the the essay
  • 00:21:52
    question is explain it and tell me what
  • 00:21:56
    the primary motive motivator is and then
  • 00:21:59
    the rest of the chapter will compare
  • 00:22:01
    calculated based trust with the next
  • 00:22:04
    trust and there's no question on this
  • 00:22:07
    but um feel free to say it is not like
  • 00:22:10
    identification based Trust on
  • 00:22:12
    108 um this is uh a second type of trust
  • 00:22:16
    it talks about it's based on others
  • 00:22:20
    desires and intentions you can
  • 00:22:23
    identify um with somebody
  • 00:22:26
    um through a Association a good friend
  • 00:22:30
    of yours might uh support you when
  • 00:22:34
    somebody's putting you down and you're
  • 00:22:36
    not even there all right uh there might
  • 00:22:39
    be a little truth to what the other
  • 00:22:40
    person's saying but they're going to go
  • 00:22:42
    to bat for you and say hey that's not
  • 00:22:44
    you know that's not appropriate to talk
  • 00:22:46
    this way you don't talk this way here
  • 00:22:48
    whatever so identification based trust
  • 00:22:51
    and
  • 00:22:52
    [Music]
  • 00:22:55
    um it's it's a bit different um
  • 00:22:59
    it's developing a collective
  • 00:23:03
    identity
  • 00:23:05
    uh uses uh the metaphor of of uh Harmony
  • 00:23:11
    and music if you take a barber shop um
  • 00:23:16
    uh group and they all sing in harmony
  • 00:23:20
    the quartet they they by themselves
  • 00:23:23
    they're different but together they kind
  • 00:23:25
    of harmonize and and get along friends
  • 00:23:28
    could be this way I've got some friends
  • 00:23:31
    that I've had friends for 30 40 years
  • 00:23:34
    okay and we're good friends we know our
  • 00:23:35
    strengths we know our weaknesses you
  • 00:23:37
    know we we care for each other love each
  • 00:23:39
    other and then I've got some new friends
  • 00:23:42
    I've
  • 00:23:43
    met acquaintances but um I'm not sure if
  • 00:23:48
    they're they're real friends yet does
  • 00:23:51
    that make sense you can know people
  • 00:23:53
    superficially but but you might not know
  • 00:23:57
    them deeply
  • 00:23:59
    and so this is what identification based
  • 00:24:03
    trust is about maybe we're in the same
  • 00:24:06
    group uh same church example uh husband
  • 00:24:10
    and I um go to a church okay and we met
  • 00:24:13
    a couple there a couple years ago that's
  • 00:24:15
    fine we've done a couple things with
  • 00:24:17
    them fine um husband went to help some
  • 00:24:20
    help one of them
  • 00:24:23
    uh called and said Can can we use your
  • 00:24:25
    truck or can you use your truck to help
  • 00:24:27
    somebody move uh they need to be moved
  • 00:24:30
    and they moved up the moving time three
  • 00:24:32
    hours okay fine so I said I
  • 00:24:40
    couldn't that into
  • 00:24:44
    the parking lot which is like 3 or 4
  • 00:24:47
    inches up above you'll get what I'm
  • 00:24:49
    telling you that the minute and um
  • 00:24:52
    parked his car turned it off so the lady
  • 00:24:55
    that he was supposed to meet that was on
  • 00:24:58
    beginning new friends so to speak
  • 00:25:02
    um sitting in the car well she had
  • 00:25:05
    pulled up right to the stop sign which
  • 00:25:07
    is right where he was at but he was in
  • 00:25:09
    the parking lot and um it was just one
  • 00:25:11
    row right off the side of the road and
  • 00:25:14
    she got like 12 Ines from his car so
  • 00:25:17
    nobody would hit her when it came to the
  • 00:25:18
    stops sign night well he started up a
  • 00:25:22
    car and moved back and hit her and he
  • 00:25:24
    said fine I'll pay for it you know he
  • 00:25:27
    hit the side of the car well I think if
  • 00:25:29
    a cops have been called they would have
  • 00:25:30
    said
  • 00:25:31
    no no um no fault either way you're both
  • 00:25:35
    at fault she shouldn't have been 12 Ines
  • 00:25:37
    the sensors of the car didn't go out he
  • 00:25:39
    couldn't even see her in either of his
  • 00:25:40
    mirrors and um so anyway we ended up
  • 00:25:43
    paying $5,000 the insurance did and um
  • 00:25:47
    which is fine nobody was hurt that's the
  • 00:25:50
    most important thing but it was the
  • 00:25:52
    attitude of well just turn it into your
  • 00:25:54
    insurance it's no big deal that's what
  • 00:25:55
    you have insurance for insurance went up
  • 00:25:57
    $700 we lost safe driving we did for
  • 00:26:00
    three years and there was no
  • 00:26:02
    accountability on her part saying you
  • 00:26:04
    know I par too close that was crazy I
  • 00:26:07
    shouldn't have done that and I I
  • 00:26:09
    apologize for that and I thank you for
  • 00:26:10
    turning it in that's all I wanted I
  • 00:26:13
    wasn't even in the car so needless to
  • 00:26:16
    say I don't want to hang out with her
  • 00:26:18
    okay it's
  • 00:26:19
    just um I don't hate her I'm not angry
  • 00:26:25
    but um I guess the the arrog
  • 00:26:28
    of not being accountable or responsible
  • 00:26:31
    is not somebody want to hang out with I
  • 00:26:33
    got other other things to do with my
  • 00:26:36
    time and people so um maybe you think
  • 00:26:39
    that's pett of me I don't know but um
  • 00:26:42
    this would be an identification trust
  • 00:26:44
    because we belong to the
  • 00:26:46
    same general group and we're trying to
  • 00:26:50
    develop friends in this group which is
  • 00:26:52
    hard to do especially when you get older
  • 00:26:56
    um it it it's done I'm done don't I
  • 00:26:59
    don't dislike the person I just don't
  • 00:27:01
    want to hang with him anymore that would
  • 00:27:03
    be identification thrust we had things
  • 00:27:05
    in common and uh this thing just put me
  • 00:27:09
    back and it's like gosh I don't want
  • 00:27:12
    that TR in relationships is pretty
  • 00:27:16
    big questions on that
  • 00:27:20
    questions all right the rest of the
  • 00:27:23
    chapter talks about um
  • 00:27:28
    to which you trust
  • 00:27:31
    somebody it they they've come up with
  • 00:27:34
    your
  • 00:27:35
    personality your uh psychological
  • 00:27:39
    orientation how you grew up your
  • 00:27:43
    experiences
  • 00:27:44
    [Music]
  • 00:27:46
    um on on how easily you trust or
  • 00:27:50
    distrust I already shared I grew up in a
  • 00:27:52
    call like Dysfunctional Family Trust is
  • 00:27:54
    hard for me I get it I understand that
  • 00:27:57
    especially with authority figures didn't
  • 00:27:59
    they have good experiences didn't have a
  • 00:28:01
    lot of respect so um it takes a while
  • 00:28:04
    for me to um not not that
  • 00:28:12
    I'm figures I don't care if you're an
  • 00:28:15
    authority give me the facts give me the
  • 00:28:18
    details I'll make my own
  • 00:28:20
    decision um went
  • 00:28:22
    to and uh terrible allergies and the
  • 00:28:27
    doctor said um
  • 00:28:28
    what you know I don't need to see
  • 00:28:30
    anymore ENT you haven't had to have
  • 00:28:32
    tubes in your ears for a couple years
  • 00:28:34
    blah blah blah it says you're on
  • 00:28:36
    singular anybody in there on singular or
  • 00:28:39
    monol Lucas is the generic name they're
  • 00:28:41
    blackboxing it I didn't know they did
  • 00:28:43
    this to Medicine blackbox means they the
  • 00:28:46
    medicine um is causing significant
  • 00:28:48
    issues Mir the drug company um has
  • 00:28:52
    already gotten all their money from the
  • 00:28:53
    patent of it and the patent is off so
  • 00:28:55
    now people can copy it so
  • 00:28:58
    um they don't care they can take it off
  • 00:29:00
    the market and he said that's usually a
  • 00:29:02
    step that they're going to take it off
  • 00:29:03
    the market because it creates depression
  • 00:29:05
    suicidal thoughts and some other
  • 00:29:08
    physical illnesses through use that are
  • 00:29:11
    just coming out now I said God I've been
  • 00:29:14
    on it for youth he said well try do what
  • 00:29:16
    you want but most people are saying you
  • 00:29:18
    you can find something else out there
  • 00:29:19
    and he gave me some names of other stuff
  • 00:29:22
    so I said well I I trust you and Trust
  • 00:29:25
    does not come easy for me he said you
  • 00:29:27
    can read up on it okay I said okay but I
  • 00:29:29
    but I trust you saying that
  • 00:29:31
    because you know I trust your medical
  • 00:29:34
    opinion so anyway I did research it and
  • 00:29:36
    he's absolutely right but
  • 00:29:39
    um just because somebody has a
  • 00:29:42
    reputation or somebody has a job that
  • 00:29:44
    makes money or has an authority figure
  • 00:29:47
    over doesn't mean that they're right
  • 00:29:48
    doesn't mean that they're good doesn't
  • 00:29:50
    mean that they're kind doesn't mean
  • 00:29:51
    anything then they've got a job over you
  • 00:29:55
    okay um
  • 00:29:58
    didn't work hard for it that's not what
  • 00:30:00
    I'm saying it's just depending on the
  • 00:30:02
    sit where does trust and distrust come
  • 00:30:05
    in where is it money oriented greed
  • 00:30:10
    oriented pushing a certain thing and
  • 00:30:12
    where is it what's best for the person
  • 00:30:14
    and only you can decide that
  • 00:30:18
    so different personalities um are more
  • 00:30:21
    trusting and your experiences that's all
  • 00:30:24
    I'm going to say that pretty much goes
  • 00:30:26
    there now if you go to page 114 it
  • 00:30:30
    actually takes identification thrust and
  • 00:30:32
    calculus space trust and it shows you
  • 00:30:35
    the different situations in trust versus
  • 00:30:39
    distrust and so when they have the D
  • 00:30:41
    it's distrust on this um table 5.1
  • 00:30:45
    that's kind of interesting to look at
  • 00:30:50
    okay and the breast of B gives
  • 00:30:52
    strategies on how to do this and and
  • 00:30:55
    what can happen What happens when TR is
  • 00:30:58
    violated we've all had trust violated
  • 00:31:01
    you don't trust them might not even
  • 00:31:03
    respect them um it occurs and uh you're
  • 00:31:08
    sad you're disappointed you're angry
  • 00:31:10
    you're upset depending on the offense
  • 00:31:12
    all
  • 00:31:13
    right uh violations mean you're not
  • 00:31:18
    going to be cooperating with them you're
  • 00:31:20
    not going to hang out with them um you
  • 00:31:22
    that means that something has been
  • 00:31:24
    severed something has been damaged you
  • 00:31:26
    tear a hole in your shirt and you sew it
  • 00:31:28
    up okay you might put it back together
  • 00:31:30
    but you can still see the line so you're
  • 00:31:32
    can still have a scar of scab with the
  • 00:31:35
    distrust all right and I know couples
  • 00:31:39
    who have successfully gotten back
  • 00:31:41
    together after um something um pretty
  • 00:31:44
    traumatic is in their relationship but
  • 00:31:47
    it takes a lot of hard work and a lot of
  • 00:31:50
    I don't I'd say praying personally but a
  • 00:31:53
    lot of hard work and understanding and
  • 00:31:55
    honesty to get it back and it is
  • 00:31:58
    possible sometimes not so much to repair
  • 00:32:01
    trust it goes on to talk about trust
  • 00:32:04
    repair and talk as cheap people can talk
  • 00:32:07
    but if they can't put the talk with the
  • 00:32:09
    actions then are they really
  • 00:32:13
    um willing to to overcome this and what
  • 00:32:19
    is an apology or sincere apologies this
  • 00:32:22
    is one thing I really loved about this
  • 00:32:24
    chapter on page 122 at the bottom no
  • 00:32:27
    there's no question but all of us in our
  • 00:32:30
    lives have or will have to apologize at
  • 00:32:34
    some point in our in our lives in order
  • 00:32:36
    to move on all right and apology is very
  • 00:32:39
    difficult for people when I um first
  • 00:32:42
    retired I was kind of bored and like you
  • 00:32:45
    know
  • 00:32:46
    working working you know 40 60 hours a
  • 00:32:49
    week and then just like oh my gosh okay
  • 00:32:51
    I had some Hobbies but not enough to
  • 00:32:53
    keep me busy so anyway I got a part-time
  • 00:32:54
    job at a foil shop loved it and and it
  • 00:32:58
    was within a a um grocery store and so
  • 00:33:03
    this young guy came
  • 00:33:06
    in I don't know he said and he just
  • 00:33:09
    grabbed three Bunches of flowers they
  • 00:33:11
    didn't even really go together but he
  • 00:33:13
    grabbed them okay he said can you bre
  • 00:33:15
    these look nice for me I got to give
  • 00:33:17
    these to my wife I said okay you're
  • 00:33:19
    pretty hairy he goes yes I totally
  • 00:33:21
    screwed up and I said oh and he said I
  • 00:33:25
    was at a party and uh my mom was there
  • 00:33:29
    and everybody was drinking it with her
  • 00:33:30
    family and she had her boyfriend there
  • 00:33:32
    and I made a comment uh about her
  • 00:33:36
    boyfriend or something and she turned
  • 00:33:38
    around and said with my wife there well
  • 00:33:40
    at least um I didn't marry my second pck
  • 00:33:44
    holy cow I said oh my goodness your poor
  • 00:33:48
    wife how upsetting he goes yes he goes
  • 00:33:52
    you know I better get a chocolate in a
  • 00:33:53
    card too and I said okay so I I arranged
  • 00:33:56
    it came back blah blah and I saidou know
  • 00:33:59
    there are six steps to a real apology
  • 00:34:02
    you know Cha's nice cards nice flowers
  • 00:34:05
    are nice but she really needs to hear
  • 00:34:07
    from you goes oh I said here are the six
  • 00:34:10
    steps so these are great steps that I
  • 00:34:13
    remember in any situation to help and if
  • 00:34:17
    you look at the bottom paragraph on 122
  • 00:34:20
    they're awesome to use six potential
  • 00:34:23
    components to a fully effective apology
  • 00:34:29
    one Express
  • 00:34:31
    regret I am so
  • 00:34:35
    sorry for what happened at the party and
  • 00:34:39
    what my mom
  • 00:34:41
    said and then two why it occurred you
  • 00:34:46
    know it was my big mouth making a
  • 00:34:48
    comment putting down her boyfriend that
  • 00:34:50
    she came back and said that uh which is
  • 00:34:54
    not
  • 00:34:55
    true acknowledgement of the respon it's
  • 00:34:58
    my fault it's it I started it and I
  • 00:35:02
    should have kept my mouth shut but we're
  • 00:35:04
    rude and crude and I just got to learn
  • 00:35:06
    to be better I never meant to cause you
  • 00:35:09
    pain Declaration of repentance okay
  • 00:35:13
    um in the
  • 00:35:16
    future I will you know stand up for you
  • 00:35:22
    deny what she said it I should have and
  • 00:35:25
    I didn't it's not true
  • 00:35:28
    and um then it says
  • 00:35:32
    uh I am sorry for the hurt that's caused
  • 00:35:35
    you I love you I respect you and um um I
  • 00:35:41
    know what I'm giving you doesn't make up
  • 00:35:43
    for the hurt but I'm asking to forgive
  • 00:35:45
    me I said you need to use all those
  • 00:35:48
    steps in the apology because it means
  • 00:35:51
    nothing so what you bought her some
  • 00:35:53
    flowers what are you going to do to
  • 00:35:54
    prevent it in the future why did it
  • 00:35:57
    happen to begin with and don't make the
  • 00:36:00
    excuse cuz our familyes like that it's
  • 00:36:03
    wrong said oh okay I said well come back
  • 00:36:06
    and tell me how it worked well he never
  • 00:36:07
    came back but I just wondered how it
  • 00:36:08
    worked six steps to an apology if you
  • 00:36:11
    mean it to help repair
  • 00:36:15
    trust
  • 00:36:19
    questions now some people then in like
  • 00:36:22
    in business reparations you know will
  • 00:36:25
    will'll give you three months free of
  • 00:36:26
    such and such because we screwed up you
  • 00:36:29
    know doing this or doing that that type
  • 00:36:31
    of things um violations can be
  • 00:36:36
    repaired when the
  • 00:36:39
    offender gives us sincere timely
  • 00:36:44
    apologies so 122 all right that pretty
  • 00:36:48
    much takes us to uh this
  • 00:36:53
    chapter and if you go to page 126
  • 00:36:56
    towards the very end it says managing
  • 00:36:59
    conflict well a lot of times conflict um
  • 00:37:03
    you know has trust
  • 00:37:05
    violations and trust is often the first
  • 00:37:08
    casualty in a conflict whenever there's
  • 00:37:10
    something going on there's a breach of
  • 00:37:12
    trust and then you have distrust and
  • 00:37:15
    sometimes it can be big big things or
  • 00:37:17
    little little things and it says
  • 00:37:20
    creating trust in a relationship is
  • 00:37:23
    initially a matter of building calculus
  • 00:37:26
    based Trust
  • 00:37:28
    building it and then it turns into
  • 00:37:31
    identification based trust because you
  • 00:37:33
    have a bonding a cement a beginning of
  • 00:37:35
    about relationship but they can all be
  • 00:37:38
    destroyed through
  • 00:37:42
    um
  • 00:37:43
    right it talks about um in a job you
  • 00:37:48
    know if people are constantly late or
  • 00:37:50
    you know or are they on time can you
  • 00:37:52
    give them something to do if you're in
  • 00:37:54
    charge of some people and you know it
  • 00:37:56
    will be done it
  • 00:37:58
    be done in a timely manner it'll be done
  • 00:38:00
    you know efficiently and then there are
  • 00:38:04
    some people that you trust more than
  • 00:38:06
    others you might trust some people to
  • 00:38:09
    let your dog out when you're gone for a
  • 00:38:11
    couple days but you're not going to
  • 00:38:12
    trust them to repay a thousand bucks you
  • 00:38:14
    m them
  • 00:38:17
    okay so there's different variances of
  • 00:38:20
    of trust and what it is questions
  • 00:38:24
    questions that's that chapter so I'm
  • 00:38:27
    moving right along to power and conflict
  • 00:38:30
    so in your discussion board you can say
  • 00:38:32
    there's a u most of you were well not
  • 00:38:35
    most of you all of you are sharing a
  • 00:38:36
    conflict there's been trust that has
  • 00:38:38
    been broken and you could say the trust
  • 00:38:41
    has been broken
  • 00:38:43
    because du all right um or whatever but
  • 00:38:48
    but that's how you would embed that
  • 00:38:51
    concept so let's go to Power and
  • 00:38:54
    conflict when you think of power what do
  • 00:38:57
    you think of on page
  • 00:39:00
    137 power is commonly used in Conflict
  • 00:39:03
    as a leverage for achieving your own
  • 00:39:07
    personal goals power all relationships
  • 00:39:11
    have a power element you have children
  • 00:39:13
    you've got the
  • 00:39:15
    power right you might be reasonable
  • 00:39:19
    parent you might be a strict parent but
  • 00:39:22
    a fair parent but you're willing to
  • 00:39:25
    compromise but you have the power the
  • 00:39:29
    power of the money the power of taking
  • 00:39:30
    away the phone the power of taking away
  • 00:39:32
    the video games in your um place of
  • 00:39:36
    employment the power would be the boss
  • 00:39:41
    evaluation pay
  • 00:39:43
    increases job
  • 00:39:45
    responsibilities those all would be
  • 00:39:49
    examples of power now not all power is
  • 00:39:51
    misused all right that's not what I'm
  • 00:39:53
    saying but the boss wants you know to
  • 00:39:55
    meet their goals in order to meet their
  • 00:39:57
    goals the people that are working for
  • 00:39:59
    them have to do whatever they're
  • 00:40:01
    supposed to do so everything in the
  • 00:40:04
    business runs
  • 00:40:08
    um and they make a profit typically you
  • 00:40:11
    know that's what you what so
  • 00:40:15
    um there's different types of power
  • 00:40:18
    conflicts okay we're going to talk about
  • 00:40:20
    that so we go to 138 discussion of
  • 00:40:24
    power okay when you think of power
  • 00:40:28
    think of what comes to your mind as far
  • 00:40:30
    as a definition it's very elusive it's
  • 00:40:33
    kind of like a Mercury of an old
  • 00:40:36
    thermometer if you ever broke one you
  • 00:40:38
    got this old ball that's silver and you
  • 00:40:40
    touch it I know you're not supposed to
  • 00:40:42
    but when you touch it they don't make
  • 00:40:43
    them M anymore and it goes into a little
  • 00:40:46
    balls and sometime they come together
  • 00:40:48
    and they just kind of move all the time
  • 00:40:49
    it's kind of fun to watch them that's
  • 00:40:51
    kind of what power is what is power are
  • 00:40:54
    we talking physical power great muscles
  • 00:40:57
    we talking intellectual power uh
  • 00:41:00
    entrepreneurship creative ideas we
  • 00:41:03
    talking emotional power good working
  • 00:41:05
    with people has that aura that
  • 00:41:08
    personality are we talking power because
  • 00:41:10
    you have a great physical skill a great
  • 00:41:12
    football player basketball player
  • 00:41:14
    volleyball player are we're talking
  • 00:41:17
    power because of the name brand you were
  • 00:41:20
    um born into a family that
  • 00:41:23
    um lots of money and so you you
  • 00:41:28
    have this sense of entitlement or this
  • 00:41:32
    um you didn't have to worry about the
  • 00:41:34
    price of eggs or bread okay um that's
  • 00:41:37
    power all right so it depends on how
  • 00:41:41
    power is used it can be used effectively
  • 00:41:45
    or
  • 00:41:46
    ineffectively regardless of what you
  • 00:41:48
    think of Donald
  • 00:41:49
    Trump
  • 00:41:51
    since it came out that he will be
  • 00:41:54
    president look at the people around the
  • 00:41:56
    world whether you like him or not who
  • 00:41:59
    are making steps to reach out to him
  • 00:42:02
    from uh the president um of Mexico to uh
  • 00:42:07
    Trudeau and Canada to people in other um
  • 00:42:19
    countries how does he get that how do
  • 00:42:22
    you know he has it um or doesn't have it
  • 00:42:26
    so
  • 00:42:28
    the personality if you go to page 139 it
  • 00:42:33
    talks about three types of power and
  • 00:42:35
    these are terms that you can use in your
  • 00:42:37
    discussion board at the bottom of the
  • 00:42:39
    page it says power is dynamic at a um a
  • 00:42:44
    stable characteristic
  • 00:42:46
    of
  • 00:42:48
    it it's just really hard to pinpoint
  • 00:42:51
    what what the power dynamics
  • 00:42:53
    are um Environmental
  • 00:42:57
    power relational power and personal
  • 00:43:01
    power you could use these as vocabulary
  • 00:43:04
    terms when you're describing your art
  • 00:43:07
    articles so environmental power um how
  • 00:43:12
    can they influence their environment
  • 00:43:14
    well if you own the company it's pretty
  • 00:43:15
    easy to do it if you're the boss of two
  • 00:43:18
    or 300 people and you're the general
  • 00:43:21
    manager then you have a lot of
  • 00:43:24
    environmental power I'm not talking
  • 00:43:26
    about clean your environment that's not
  • 00:43:28
    what I'm talking about the area that you
  • 00:43:30
    control all right
  • 00:43:33
    um each of you probably has quite a bit
  • 00:43:37
    of power in your your
  • 00:43:40
    home of who lives there all right you
  • 00:43:44
    have some control some of you have a lot
  • 00:43:47
    of control it it just difference now
  • 00:43:50
    relationship power is um the
  • 00:43:54
    influence that you have over another
  • 00:43:56
    person or people relational now remember
  • 00:43:59
    the only person in the world that you
  • 00:44:01
    can
  • 00:44:02
    control would be
  • 00:44:05
    yourself control other people yeah if
  • 00:44:07
    you have a weapon knife gun sure you can
  • 00:44:10
    control people that's coercive power
  • 00:44:12
    that's not what I'm talking about I'm
  • 00:44:13
    talking about the only Power you have to
  • 00:44:16
    control is
  • 00:44:18
    yourself um you can influence others but
  • 00:44:22
    I'm talking in general not atypical
  • 00:44:25
    situations so in person power would be
  • 00:44:30
    um
  • 00:44:33
    oh what assets do you have or do you
  • 00:44:35
    bring to the
  • 00:44:37
    table all right so go to page 140 and
  • 00:44:41
    141 that's where we're at Now talks
  • 00:44:44
    about the different types of power it
  • 00:44:46
    talks about power bases influence
  • 00:44:50
    strategies um it can be well Social
  • 00:44:54
    Capital physical strength weapons in
  • 00:44:57
    intelligence knowledge legitimacy
  • 00:44:59
    respect affection organizational skills
  • 00:45:02
    and on and on and on those are types of
  • 00:45:06
    powers that can influence other people
  • 00:45:10
    now it talks about primary and secondary
  • 00:45:12
    power what does that mean you could use
  • 00:45:15
    these Concepts in um your discussion
  • 00:45:18
    board power has two distinct levels it
  • 00:45:22
    has and it talks and I'm doing um page
  • 00:45:25
    140 if you look at that right there here
  • 00:45:28
    it talks about
  • 00:45:31
    um one determines the nature of the
  • 00:45:33
    interactions among the players of the
  • 00:45:36
    field one determining the nature of the
  • 00:45:38
    field itself secondary power refers to
  • 00:45:42
    the exercise of power primary power
  • 00:45:44
    refers to the ability to shape the
  • 00:45:49
    normative domain wherever you're at and
  • 00:45:52
    affect the um social historical process
  • 00:45:56
    of reality construction so the primary
  • 00:45:58
    is what is the reality what are the
  • 00:46:01
    power bases um what is a sense of
  • 00:46:05
    fairness of truth of Justice how is that
  • 00:46:10
    constructed your
  • 00:46:12
    ideologies that's the primary power base
  • 00:46:16
    us our sense of
  • 00:46:18
    truth I would
  • 00:46:20
    think I've done this before with another
  • 00:46:23
    class where they had to write down um
  • 00:46:27
    a list of
  • 00:46:30
    uh oh their own moral code what is their
  • 00:46:34
    moral code and they were from all
  • 00:46:37
    different um areas some national
  • 00:46:40
    students some International students and
  • 00:46:43
    they pretty much had pretty similar code
  • 00:46:46
    of honor um which was really interesting
  • 00:46:50
    now how that manifested itself may not
  • 00:46:53
    be but a sense of fairness a a sense of
  • 00:46:56
    justice
  • 00:46:58
    um are what they
  • 00:47:00
    valued now it's very difficult to change
  • 00:47:03
    a person's I
  • 00:47:05
    ideology all right
  • 00:47:08
    um it's really hard to have a debate or
  • 00:47:12
    an
  • 00:47:13
    argument uh in which the belief systems
  • 00:47:17
    are totally totally
  • 00:47:19
    different which again results in many of
  • 00:47:22
    the wars that we see based on um
  • 00:47:27
    political ideologies or spiritual
  • 00:47:30
    ideologies it's very difficult to come
  • 00:47:34
    together and they might never come
  • 00:47:37
    together but if they can come together
  • 00:47:38
    in the sense of what is truth or basic
  • 00:47:41
    human rights maybe we would get further
  • 00:47:45
    okay and then primary power refers to
  • 00:47:48
    the ability to
  • 00:47:50
    affect the media think about it the
  • 00:47:53
    media the law and the policy
  • 00:48:02
    us isn't perfect but but uh we've got
  • 00:48:05
    tons of problems and and we've made
  • 00:48:07
    mistakes
  • 00:48:09
    but when I see what's going on in other
  • 00:48:12
    parts of the world and countries I don't
  • 00:48:14
    think there's another country I'd want
  • 00:48:15
    to live in I know there's not there
  • 00:48:17
    isn't um but that doesn't mean that we
  • 00:48:20
    don't stop trying to to be um
  • 00:48:32
    anything in the media left or right I
  • 00:48:34
    don't even know if there's anything that
  • 00:48:36
    any media alert that just gives the
  • 00:48:39
    without
  • 00:48:40
    slanting um and
  • 00:48:42
    policies all right um so that's kind of
  • 00:48:46
    what that what that's talking about
  • 00:48:48
    secondary power it talks about to how do
  • 00:48:51
    you transform how do you change how do
  • 00:48:54
    you make permanent changes in things um
  • 00:48:56
    um to the primary
  • 00:49:00
    power there have been a lot of hostile
  • 00:49:03
    takeovers of countries and coops and as
  • 00:49:05
    uh South Korea just had an uprising
  • 00:49:07
    where they did um I just read it today
  • 00:49:10
    they had 12 hours of Martial law they
  • 00:49:13
    don't like the guys in power currently
  • 00:49:16
    and um martial law and people were
  • 00:49:19
    protesting and um often people protest
  • 00:49:23
    for Noble causes but they they end up
  • 00:49:26
    getting all screwed up and it becomes
  • 00:49:28
    kind of what they were trying to get
  • 00:49:29
    away
  • 00:49:31
    from right it talks about topown middle
  • 00:49:35
    out or bottom up power you can read
  • 00:49:37
    about that on your
  • 00:49:39
    own
  • 00:49:41
    questions so
  • 00:49:44
    far so it talks about it keeps going and
  • 00:49:48
    if you will go
  • 00:49:50
    to um components of what power is it
  • 00:49:53
    breaks it down on page 142 143 uh Power
  • 00:49:58
    orientations um how do you support
  • 00:50:00
    others how do you let people be
  • 00:50:03
    independent but yet still get their work
  • 00:50:05
    done you can read that togetherness how
  • 00:50:08
    do you get
  • 00:50:09
    organizations um to work together for a
  • 00:50:12
    common goal team building is pretty big
  • 00:50:15
    um do you give team a uh rewards do you
  • 00:50:17
    give individual Awards how do you get
  • 00:50:19
    people to um in leadership roles to be
  • 00:50:24
    gently assertive everybody can be pain
  • 00:50:27
    in the butt to be assertive that's
  • 00:50:28
    really easy to do but how are you gently
  • 00:50:31
    which being gentle is a huge uh sign of
  • 00:50:35
    strength but yet be assertive in in what
  • 00:50:39
    needs to be done in holding people
  • 00:50:41
    accountable how do you do that in a in a
  • 00:50:44
    gracious way but yet still be firm about
  • 00:50:48
    it um
  • 00:50:50
    so it it goes on it talks about that and
  • 00:50:53
    if you go to page 145 this is is another
  • 00:50:57
    essay question on on the um
  • 00:51:01
    test um explain and defined in your own
  • 00:51:06
    words yes you can use a few words from
  • 00:51:08
    the book but all of the questions on the
  • 00:51:11
    essay or the exams will say this is the
  • 00:51:14
    concept explain it to me use your own
  • 00:51:17
    words yes you can use some of the words
  • 00:51:19
    but it can't be copied you know exactly
  • 00:51:22
    from the textbook but um explain what
  • 00:51:25
    authoritarian ism is from the textbook
  • 00:51:31
    and honestly I don't make these
  • 00:51:33
    questions up it's a very short paragraph
  • 00:51:36
    okay but
  • 00:51:37
    authoritarianism explain what it is in
  • 00:51:40
    the classic sense but then also give the
  • 00:51:44
    perspective and this is a question also
  • 00:51:47
    from the psycho dnamic view
  • 00:51:50
    psychodynamic view is a fancy way of
  • 00:51:52
    saying uh if you remember Psychology 101
  • 00:51:56
    Freud was a um psychoanalytic and he
  • 00:51:59
    believed
  • 00:52:00
    that tile affected how they dealt with
  • 00:52:04
    um issues in the future unless they've
  • 00:52:08
    dealt with
  • 00:52:10
    them things that have happened to a kid
  • 00:52:12
    influence their behavior as an adult
  • 00:52:15
    unless they've work really hard to
  • 00:52:16
    overcome them okay so how is that
  • 00:52:19
    related to authoritarianism so the
  • 00:52:22
    classic approach is to influence
  • 00:52:25
    people's orientations to power is
  • 00:52:30
    authoritarianism
  • 00:52:32
    authoritarianism okay it involves this
  • 00:52:35
    is the definition an
  • 00:52:39
    exaggerated overblown need to submit to
  • 00:52:44
    or to identify with strong
  • 00:52:48
    Authority if you grow up in a very
  • 00:52:52
    rigid um a verying
  • 00:52:56
    [Music]
  • 00:52:57
    dominant um
  • 00:53:05
    Family hurt or beat or punished unfairly
  • 00:53:09
    and you didn't have an opinion you
  • 00:53:11
    didn't there was no room for compromise
  • 00:53:14
    all right so it's an exaggerated need to
  • 00:53:18
    do this um some countries are oriented
  • 00:53:23
    this way just because of fear of death
  • 00:53:27
    or punishment of some sort um it
  • 00:53:30
    originates now this is the second part
  • 00:53:32
    of the question from the psycho dnamic
  • 00:53:35
    Theory it's a syndrome that is thought
  • 00:53:37
    to stem from early rearing by parents
  • 00:53:41
    who use
  • 00:53:43
    harsh rigid forms of
  • 00:53:46
    discipline harsh and rigid demand
  • 00:53:50
    unquestioning
  • 00:53:52
    obedience and are um overly conscious of
  • 00:53:57
    distinctions and status I'm the adult
  • 00:54:00
    you're the kid shut up do what I say
  • 00:54:02
    don't question I don't have to give you
  • 00:54:03
    a reason why just do it all right and
  • 00:54:06
    are contemptuous or exploiting um um
  • 00:54:12
    exploitative to those of a lower status
  • 00:54:15
    it's almost like a sense of entitlement
  • 00:54:18
    because I'm older I'm stronger I can uh
  • 00:54:21
    you know outdo you you're nothing but a
  • 00:54:23
    lowly kid uh type of a feeling and then
  • 00:54:27
    you actually um live that out and maybe
  • 00:54:31
    even hook up with people who are um very
  • 00:54:34
    ative over
  • 00:54:36
    you male or
  • 00:54:39
    female but it's because that's what you
  • 00:54:41
    expected that's what you grew up with a
  • 00:54:43
    lack of confidence self-esteem a feeling
  • 00:54:47
    that that um this need to submit for
  • 00:54:50
    whatever reason self analyze and
  • 00:54:53
    self-reflect that um type of thing
  • 00:54:57
    the
  • 00:54:58
    child internalizes the values of the
  • 00:55:01
    parents or whomever raised you therefore
  • 00:55:05
    inclined to be toward a dominant
  • 00:55:09
    punitive approach to power relations so
  • 00:55:14
    um it's all about
  • 00:55:18
    punishment um and and you can even car
  • 00:55:20
    this over there are bosses who are like
  • 00:55:23
    that punitive uh my uh daughter uh boss
  • 00:55:28
    you know is trying to be very punitive
  • 00:55:30
    she's a very strong lady so um her
  • 00:55:33
    husband said you know we can make it a
  • 00:55:35
    my C till you find something if you ever
  • 00:55:37
    just want to walk out well she's got too
  • 00:55:40
    much gumption I think to do that right
  • 00:55:42
    now but um um it's it's
  • 00:55:49
    getting but I am I can't run little men
  • 00:55:52
    for other people and that's kind of a
  • 00:55:54
    position that he put me in and then they
  • 00:55:56
    kind of put me in so um it's very
  • 00:55:59
    stressful and trying to get your job
  • 00:56:01
    done so um individuals high in
  • 00:56:08
    authoritarianism tend to favor absolute
  • 00:56:12
    obedience to
  • 00:56:14
    Authority and resist personal
  • 00:56:18
    freedom all your rights to somebody else
  • 00:56:23
    well um I would
  • 00:56:34
    so I don't know you can be a boss but
  • 00:56:36
    you better be fair you better be good or
  • 00:56:39
    I just won't be there
  • 00:56:42
    and even if it's to a detriment to
  • 00:56:44
    myself uh as far as leaving when you
  • 00:56:47
    know you shouldn't quit until you have
  • 00:56:48
    another job type thing all right so
  • 00:56:51
    that's what that is this the these
  • 00:56:53
    Tendencies would be more likely to
  • 00:56:55
    orient toward either
  • 00:56:57
    authoritarianism or sometimes you go way
  • 00:57:00
    far the other way and become very
  • 00:57:03
    submissive and let people have power
  • 00:57:06
    over you if that makes
  • 00:57:10
    sending on you status of the other party
  • 00:57:14
    so that's the question give tell me what
  • 00:57:17
    authoritarianism is tuck a power and
  • 00:57:22
    tell
  • 00:57:22
    me from a psycho analytic viewpoint why
  • 00:57:27
    people might
  • 00:57:30
    um either follow somebody who is very
  • 00:57:33
    authoritative or become very
  • 00:57:36
    authoritative based on Early Childhood
  • 00:57:38
    practices questions on
  • 00:57:44
    that that is about the
  • 00:57:47
    only um places that you're going to find
  • 00:57:51
    it in the book there really isn't um
  • 00:57:54
    anything else there right let me see if
  • 00:57:58
    I've covered this and see y
  • 00:58:03
    yep what is
  • 00:58:05
    it authoritarianism and based on the
  • 00:58:08
    cycle an so we are over and I will stick
  • 00:58:12
    around I hope this was helpful for you
  • 00:58:15
    and um take care let me know what
  • 00:58:18
    questions you have and I will make
  • 00:58:20
    comments under all your discussion
  • 00:58:22
    boards I won't fully grade it till you
  • 00:58:24
    have a chance to respond to two two
  • 00:58:26
    peers remember at least a hundred words
  • 00:58:29
    to each of the peers um it can be as
  • 00:58:31
    long as you want but it has to be
  • 00:58:33
    substantial anything less than a 100 um
  • 00:58:37
    it's just too General so anyway you have
  • 00:58:40
    essay one this week look at the
  • 00:58:42
    announcements I'll stick around you all
  • 00:58:44
    have a good evening I will turn off the
  • 00:58:47
    recording
Tags
  • trust
  • power dynamics
  • conflict resolution
  • active listening
  • calculus-based trust
  • identification-based trust
  • authoritarianism
  • discussion topics
  • psychodynamic view
  • apologies