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do you ever wish that you had some magic
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device that could spot a narcissist
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before they wreak havoc in your life
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kind of like one of those blue lights
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revealing hidden
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stains well what if I told you that
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there is a quick and easy way to do just
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that no unfortunately not with a radar
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detector but rather a simple question
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that can expose a narcissist in less
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than 5 Seconds that's why in this
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episode I will reveal the key question
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you need to ask the exact reaction to
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watch out for and what steps to take
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once you spot it and to do that I want
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to First help you understand the motive
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of a narcissist yes even the ones that
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call themselves Christians and why
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you've been such easy pray for them you
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see you are likely a caring empathetic
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giving person who enjoys being of value
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in a relationship by contrast
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narcissists are fragile self-centered
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egotistical envious exploiters their
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focus is not on pleasing you or even
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growing the relationship their focus is
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self- protection and
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self-preservation that's it if it
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doesn't serve them benefit them or
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support them they're not interested so
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let's shift that Dynamic shall we
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instead of focusing on what to say to
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get them to want to change let's focus
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on what to say to reveal them so you can
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finally put to rest the confusion in
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your mind are you ready we're going to
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talk about three scenarios that expose
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The Narcissist every time if you know
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what to look for scenario number one
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when you need to set a boundary
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narcissists can't stand being told no
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they honestly believe that they are
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entitled to unrestricted access and
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control over you and if you've given it
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to them before well that's just more
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justification for their entitlement
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boundaries threaten their sense of
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superiority and need for admiration it's
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like telling a child no they can't see
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beyond their self-centered immature view
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of the world that just wants what they
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want when they want it but there's one
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key difference between the narcissist
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and a child and it's a scary one you see
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unlike a child a narcissist knows how
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they come across they know what is
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socially acceptable and unacceptable so
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they've learned manipulative ways to get
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their needs met and if you have ever met
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a Charming or conniving narcissist you
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know how easy it is to be fooled by
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their facade so the next time you set
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limits with someone The Narcissist or
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not avoid overe explaining avoid
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justifying simply say I can't agree to
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that or I'm not good with that and a
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healthy person will say something like
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oh okay no problem and then move on even
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if they're disappointed but a narcissist
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will continue to press and pry why what
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do you have going on well all I was
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asking for was and you will get met with
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manipulative questions questions
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designed to guilt you into giving them
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what they want and here's the key no
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matter what question they ask no matter
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what statement they make simply hold
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your ground with the same response I
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can't agree to that so many people say
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well they just didn't respect my
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boundaries no you didn't hold your
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boundary you see when they continue to
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press which they will they may take a
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break and they may try to formulate some
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other line of attack but they will come
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back back at which time you can ask this
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question it seems that you're only
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focused on your needs and not mine is
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that
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intentional now I realize this question
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sounds very cold and if you're in a
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close relationship like a marriage or a
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family member you might hesitate at
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asking such a question but hanging with
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me because the next part is going to be
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crucial and a little fun after you've
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asked the question I want you to sing
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happy birthday in your head no no I'm
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not joking say nothing and watch their
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reaction don't defend yourself don't
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formulate what you're going to say next
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just sing Happy Birthday in your
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head this will give you the breathing
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time that you need to observe what the
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narcissist will do next plus you want to
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be careful that you don't make any angry
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facial expressions because they're going
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to use that against you and how can you
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be angry singing happy birthday right
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and as you are silently singing your
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song a narcissist will respond in one or
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all of the following ways number one is
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Rage how dare you accuse me you're the
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selfish one I was just asking there's
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something wrong with you number two
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victimhood oh this is the thanks I get
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for trying to work with you I don't know
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what I did to deserve this such abusive
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treatment forget it never mind number
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three insistence as they continue to try
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to find a solution for you to be able to
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give them what they want or they may
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actually sound healthy at first with a
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hearty okay and then come back later for
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round two of boundary stomping but no
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matter what reaction they have there's
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one thing that's missing and that is a
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care and a regard for your needs and
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feelings their only concern is their
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image and your perception of them
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which is their image and they're not
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going to change their behavior because
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they want to change they may change
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their behavior because they want to
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change the perception that they're
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giving people it's all about perception
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period are you tired of feeling
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manipulated and drained by the
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narcissists in your life be sure to grab
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a copy of your free narcissistic
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Survival Guide this is my free gift to
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you packed with powerful scriptures to
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pray and effective responses to say to
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help you reclaim your peace and Sanity
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I'll go ahead and include a link in the
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description destion section below
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scenario number two when you challenge
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their lies if you've been with a
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narcissist more than 10 minutes you've
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been lied to lying is second nature for
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them they even lie when they don't have
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to their lies can be blatant like
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telling you a distorted version of the
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truth or they can be a little bit more
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covert like exaggerating or omitting
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pieces of information and whether you're
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getting a Flatout false information or a
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different version of what they said the
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day before there will inevitably come a
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time when you have to call out a
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narcissist Lies when you challenge a
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healthy person in what they said they
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will be apologetic and eager to clear up
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the confusion or better yet if they did
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lie they'll admit it and apologize not
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so with a narcissist so when you catch
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them in a lie and realize that you're
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not getting anywhere I want you to ask
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this question can you explain why your
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version of the story contradicts what
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actually happened and this is going to
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make a narcissist flounder because they
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prefer to op at on their own terms where
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defensiveness and denial and accusations
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are served up like some festar Buffet of
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nonsense but you're wise to them once
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you ask the question you're going to you
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guessed it happy birthday to yeah you
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are going to sing Happy Birthday quietly
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in your head because this is going to
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keep your mind occupied and your mouth
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shut and here's what you can expect
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anger
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anger is often their go-to reaction they
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love to use it as a means to intimidate
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you here's another one denial yes they
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will actually flat out deny having said
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or done something if it deflects the
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shame off of them they'll deny it the
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third one is gaslighting you see
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gaslighting is like Denial on steroids
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here's where they not only deny what
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they said but now the focus is flipped
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to you your trust issues your mental
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instability your unforgiveness all the
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things that you've done in the past
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again what's missing no desire to clear
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up the confusion and give you peace of
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mind regardless of whether they're right
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or wrong okay you're getting comfortable
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with your boundaries you're not buying
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the lies but what about scenario number
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three when you refuse to enable the
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toxic Behavior narcissists thrive in
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environments where they can go unchecked
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and unchallenged but maybe you're tired
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of being insulted or treated like a
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2-year-old in a Timeout look there are
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times when we all speak to people that
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we love in ways that we're not proud of
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and instead of crying and even playing
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the victim yourself and begging The
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Narcissist to stop treating you this way
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try one of these
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questions why do you expect me to
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prioritize your needs over my own even
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when it hurts me or in the cases where
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they're not speaking kindly you could
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ask this why do you feel it's acceptable
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to speak to me this way and a healthy
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person who has simply made a mistake
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will be very quick to catch themselves
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and repent and they'll actually feel
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terrible about it not a narcissist and I
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particularly like this question because
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if you're truly dealing with a
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narcissist they will actually answer it
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because in this case you likely won't
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even have to sing Happy Birthday they
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will not be able to resist putting you
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in your place and the answer will be
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another version of an insult for example
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you deserved it if you hadn't and then
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fill in the blank then I wouldn't have
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had to talk to you that way all solid
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clues that you are truly dealing with a
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narcissist and it is during this time
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that you are going to be oh so tempted
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to defend yourself get angry right back
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at them curl up in the corner or some
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other dysfunctional trait that continues
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that toxic Tango and gives them an
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excuse to say see you're the problem
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and that is why it is crucial to have
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these questions handy even rehearsed and
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the strength to sing Happy
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Birthday but this introduces another
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potential problem if you're not
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comfortable with their reactions you're
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going to rush in and rescue and negate
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the entire test so here's an Insider
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secret a skilled narcissist will
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outweight you they will know that you
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are likely going to get uncomfortable
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with the silence remember they are
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Masters at the silent treatment and then
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they'll add that snake like stare don't
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fall for it you may have to sing Happy
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Birthday six times but hold firm my
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friend okay so now you know and it's
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likely that they know you know now what
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to keep your peace and to hold your
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sanity you are going to want to discover
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what God will do to the narcissist when
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he's had enough and to do that you can
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check out this episode here and be sure
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to grab a copy of your free narcissist
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Survival Guide it's in the link in the
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description section below