00:00:00
there's a book out there it's called
00:00:01
when prophecy fails but it tells the
00:00:04
story of this UFO cult dead set on the
00:00:07
world ending on a very specific date
00:00:10
like the the world the whole earth is
00:00:12
going to like totally blow up so they
00:00:14
were totally convinced that they'd be
00:00:16
whisked away by aliens before the
00:00:18
apocalypse so what happens on the day
00:00:21
the Apocalypse date rolls around nothing
00:00:24
happens no boom no aliens nothing so
00:00:28
you'd think this would be a clear wakeup
00:00:30
call for these people but here's where
00:00:31
it gets kind of
00:00:32
interesting instead of admitting maybe
00:00:36
they were off track the group starts
00:00:38
bending over backwards to explain the
00:00:41
Flop they started claiming that their
00:00:43
undying faith that they were so faithful
00:00:46
that they actually saved the entire
00:00:49
world that's a huge save so whoever they
00:00:52
are out there huge thanks this is
00:00:54
cognitive dissonance and action so
00:00:56
tonight we're going to cover a formula
00:00:58
that you can literally use any where to
00:01:01
weaponize cognitive
00:01:04
[Music]
00:01:06
dissonance and this can be applied on
00:01:08
anything from trial Consulting to
00:01:10
Parenting to sales let's talk about why
00:01:13
this works so well so this idea of
00:01:16
cognitive dissonance was introduced by
00:01:18
this dude Leon festinger it's a mental
00:01:21
discomfort that we feel when we're
00:01:23
juggling these contradictory beliefs or
00:01:26
when we're confronted with information
00:01:29
that challenges is are existing beliefs
00:01:31
so even though it's a gold mine for
00:01:34
influencing people it's overlooked so
00:01:37
why does it work well first off it
00:01:39
really crawls under our brain skin so
00:01:43
when we Face any kind of dissonance it's
00:01:45
like an itch that we have to scratch we
00:01:48
can't stop it so we're driven from the
00:01:51
inside to resolve any kind of
00:01:54
inconsistency that comes up which can
00:01:56
lead to very real and very Las changes
00:02:00
in Behavior as an example if a
00:02:02
self-proclaimed environmentalist learns
00:02:05
that their favorite brand that they
00:02:08
support is like polluting heavily in
00:02:11
Africa somewhere and dumping oil into a
00:02:13
big dirt hole the internal conflict can
00:02:17
either push them to switch
00:02:19
Brands they're like I'm going to go
00:02:21
support another brand and admit I was
00:02:22
wrong or a lot easier just adopt stupid
00:02:27
ideas that make them continue to feel
00:02:29
like they're right
00:02:30
which is a lot more likely we like to
00:02:32
see ourselves as consistent beings and
00:02:35
cognitive dissonance especially when we
00:02:37
use it is weaponizing this we're messing
00:02:40
with this need to be consistent so when
00:02:43
reality smacks into belief you just
00:02:45
jiggle your thoughts around a little bit
00:02:47
until everything falls into place and if
00:02:49
the jigsaw puzzle pieces don't go
00:02:51
together you just get a hammer and then
00:02:53
they do that's what is going on right
00:02:56
there and this is like when you're so
00:02:58
deep in in instead of questioning your
00:03:00
choices you go all in and
00:03:02
psychologically it's way easier to boost
00:03:04
your existing belief than rewrite how
00:03:07
you view the entire world so let me show
00:03:09
you like an example of how it might work
00:03:11
with political beliefs when people get
00:03:13
entrenched to the far left or right they
00:03:16
face facts they ignore facts they
00:03:19
discredit new information that doesn't
00:03:20
align with their belief they find uh all
00:03:23
the comfort in the world in these Echo
00:03:25
Chambers and even more so they become
00:03:28
even
00:03:31
Evangelistic and they spread their
00:03:34
beliefs even further trying to convince
00:03:36
others and themselves secretly that
00:03:39
they're right so if I become an
00:03:42
evangelist I'm going to convince myself
00:03:44
because of how loud I am that these
00:03:46
beliefs have to be right if they
00:03:48
encounter real evidence or arguments
00:03:52
that starkly contrast uh with their own
00:03:56
views like scientific studies or
00:03:59
statistical
00:04:01
data this sets up a clash so the
00:04:05
discomfort they feel is that cognitive
00:04:07
dissonance and our goal is to reduce
00:04:10
discomfort that's our body's goal our
00:04:12
brain's goal how do I reduce discomfort
00:04:14
so to bring that down people have a few
00:04:17
options number one they can change their
00:04:20
beliefs which is very
00:04:23
hard two I can distort the new
00:04:27
information which means that I can misin
00:04:29
interpret or question its validity or I
00:04:33
can reject the new information
00:04:35
completely and more often than not it's
00:04:37
easier to distort or reject the
00:04:40
conflicting information than to overhaul
00:04:43
uh our own personal beliefs that are
00:04:45
tied to our identity and our worldview
00:04:48
why would a rational person with an IQ
00:04:51
over 70 completely ignore facts actual
00:04:56
provable facts and
00:04:58
logic well the first reason is identity
00:05:02
protection so for a lot of people on on
00:05:05
the especially on the extreme ends these
00:05:08
political beliefs are deeply tied to
00:05:10
their sense of
00:05:11
self so if I'm in that camp and I admit
00:05:16
that those beliefs might be wrong or
00:05:18
misguided that threatens my entire
00:05:21
self-concept and my social standing
00:05:23
within my community it's a huge threat
00:05:26
on multiple maslo levels so this makes
00:05:29
ity ol logically safer to just dismiss
00:05:32
or rationalize away anything that
00:05:34
conflicts with what I've been presented
00:05:37
with and sometimes when people are
00:05:39
presented with literal factual
00:05:42
information that challenges their
00:05:43
beliefs not only do they reject the
00:05:46
information but they also believe in
00:05:48
their original incorrect views more
00:05:52
strongly afterward more strongly this is
00:05:56
true and this is known as the backfire
00:05:59
effect this is where the efforts to
00:06:01
correct misinformation actually
00:06:04
reinforce the misinformation in the
00:06:06
person's
00:06:08
mind just think about flat earthers NASA
00:06:11
puts out a video like here's our here's
00:06:13
our video from the ISS showing that the
00:06:16
Earth is round and they're like yeah
00:06:17
they want you to think that so like no
00:06:20
matter what you do it's just making
00:06:23
their beliefs even stronger so the
00:06:25
attempts to counter the misinformation
00:06:28
do the exact opposite I'm going to give
00:06:30
you a formula tonight to literally
00:06:32
weaponize cognitive bias and this is the
00:06:34
same formula that we use have retr it's
00:06:37
made to use on a population I designed
00:06:39
this personally to use on an entire
00:06:41
population like a city or a town I've
00:06:44
Rewritten it to be used in conversation
00:06:47
so it's to guide someone towards
00:06:49
resolving discomfort in a way that
00:06:51
aligns with what we want so whether it's
00:06:54
changing somebody's beliefs or adopting
00:06:56
some kind of new habit getting them to
00:06:58
make some kind of a purchase we're not
00:07:00
just telling them what to do or think
00:07:01
we're setting up the conditions so they
00:07:04
convince themselves we're setting up
00:07:06
conditions so that they convince
00:07:08
themselves so this is about making them
00:07:10
feel that changing is their own idea
00:07:13
this makes the change stick way better
00:07:16
because it feels
00:07:18
self-motivated instead of
00:07:20
imposed so I have self-motivated change
00:07:23
going on I haven't had change imposed on
00:07:25
me so number one I want to obtain
00:07:27
agreements on three identity statements
00:07:30
number two I'm going to perform a
00:07:32
personality inventory question I'm going
00:07:34
to tell you what this is here in a few
00:07:36
minutes number three we're going to use
00:07:38
negative
00:07:39
dissociation for one of the key
00:07:42
elements followed by an opinion question
00:07:46
to that person like what's your opinion
00:07:48
on x four we're going to use the article
00:07:51
technique so we're just kind of
00:07:52
borrowing authority to solidify those
00:07:55
new identity agreements five we're going
00:07:58
to talk negatively about one person in
00:08:01
your life without the desired qualities
00:08:04
that doesn't have the desired qualities
00:08:06
that we've made them agree that they are
00:08:08
number six this is the most important
00:08:10
step and once you hear this
00:08:15
uh I I don't think it's it's going to be
00:08:18
power it's going to sound powerful to
00:08:20
most of you but I I want you to try it
00:08:22
out and then you'll
00:08:23
see so the final step is to introduce
00:08:26
them to somebody
00:08:28
new using their name and describing them
00:08:32
as this new identity and reputation so
00:08:35
let's talk about developing those
00:08:37
identity statements let's go through a
00:08:39
few examples here sales let's take sales
00:08:41
first what are some of the identity
00:08:43
statements I need a person to make let's
00:08:46
say I take action when things make sense
00:08:48
I don't need permission to take action
00:08:51
uh I can make things happen even if
00:08:53
there are obstacles I make smart
00:08:56
decisions so this is about appealing to
00:08:58
their sense of wisdom and and being
00:09:00
Discerning they want to see themselves
00:09:02
as somebody who makes informed choices
00:09:05
next would be I'm a leader and not a
00:09:06
follower and you can see that we're
00:09:08
getting them out of Conformity because
00:09:10
people use conformity as a way out of
00:09:12
sales and you can use these it doesn't
00:09:14
have to be a sales situation so this is
00:09:16
very effective for people uh that are in
00:09:18
decision-making positions who maybe
00:09:21
Pride themselves on setting the trends
00:09:23
instead of following Trends and that's
00:09:26
one phrase I use very very often and I
00:09:29
just throw it away but the person hears
00:09:31
it and I'm just kind of yeah yeah it's
00:09:33
true you know some people set Trends and
00:09:35
some people follow them and then I'll
00:09:36
just move right on with the conversation
00:09:38
and just let that soak right in so
00:09:41
what would I want somebody to agree to
00:09:43
as identity statements from a leadership
00:09:45
perspective I wanted to say I am a
00:09:47
valuable part of this team I would say
00:09:49
I'm open to learning and growing and
00:09:52
cultivating a a culture of growth and
00:09:54
learning can make anybody that that you
00:09:56
lead a lot more receptive to new ideas
00:09:59
and approaches and and they'll fight a
00:10:01
lot less next I am a problem solver all
00:10:04
right so what do I need if I'm a cult
00:10:07
recruiter what do I need someone to view
00:10:10
how do I need somebody to view
00:10:11
themselves think about what we're really
00:10:13
doing here how do I want this person to
00:10:15
view themselves this is a deep question
00:10:18
and that's the question that we're
00:10:19
answering how do I want them to see
00:10:21
themselves first thing we want I'm open
00:10:23
to exploring New Opportunities this is
00:10:27
making them agree I have a sense of
00:10:29
advant V Venture I am curious about the
00:10:31
world and I can you know the idea of
00:10:34
joining a new group uh isn't
00:10:36
intimidating to me so we get them to
00:10:38
make that agreement pretty quick next
00:10:40
would be I'm somebody who seeks personal
00:10:43
growth next I'm a part of something
00:10:46
bigger than myself and this really TAPS
00:10:48
in to the desire to be part of a
00:10:51
community movement that has a larger
00:10:53
purpose or a larger Mission I want to
00:10:55
obtain agreements on three identity
00:10:58
agreement ments I want them to agree to
00:11:01
three things that I wrote down I want
00:11:03
them to kind of verbally or non-verbally
00:11:06
nod their head to a few of these and
00:11:08
I'll use a few statements to get this
00:11:10
out of that person and these statements
00:11:12
will be the statements that say you seem
00:11:14
like you know you seem like the kind of
00:11:16
person who does X and Y next would be I
00:11:19
I would really love to know more about
00:11:20
how you blank or I'm curious uh to know
00:11:24
a little bit more about why you blank
00:11:28
next would be you know it would be
00:11:30
amazing if everybody that I worked with
00:11:32
was blank and where's my hand going to
00:11:35
be pointing when I say some of these
00:11:36
things I'm pointing at that person so
00:11:39
keep in mind that some of the statements
00:11:41
that we just went through can also serve
00:11:43
to accomplish the next step of the
00:11:46
formula and this is the personality
00:11:48
inventory question you want now we're
00:11:50
asking them to talk about one of those
00:11:53
beliefs and this is like if I'm planning
00:11:56
ahead and I'm developing a sales call or
00:11:58
conversation or whatever ever I want to
00:11:59
Circle what's the number one belief that
00:12:03
this person needs to have about
00:12:04
themselves the number one what's the
00:12:06
biggest domino I can knock over and if I
00:12:09
can knock that over it's going to knock
00:12:10
over all the other ones that's where I
00:12:12
want to use one of these questions here
00:12:14
there's three questions I typically use
00:12:16
and that's it first one is how is it
00:12:19
that you came to be so blank that's
00:12:23
really powerful because you're asking
00:12:25
that person about themselves and you're
00:12:27
very silently admitting that you
00:12:30
struggle with that maybe a little bit
00:12:32
which makes them more open the next one
00:12:34
would be what was it in your life that
00:12:36
made you so blank today because it was a
00:12:39
struggle for me I usually follow that up
00:12:41
by that little self- admission and
00:12:43
finally this personality inventory
00:12:45
question how is it you're able to blank
00:12:47
when so many people just don't or so
00:12:50
many people are afraid to depending on
00:12:52
what the blank is the next step is
00:12:54
negative dissociation with a follow-up
00:12:58
question there's two ways that I do this
00:13:00
you can do it however you like this is
00:13:02
word for word how I do this in real
00:13:04
human life first one is yeah there's so
00:13:07
many people out there that blank this is
00:13:09
the negative quality it's like every
00:13:11
time you meet them it's like they all
00:13:13
are just so and then I'm going to put
00:13:16
whatever other negative quality like
00:13:17
afraid to speak their mind afraid to
00:13:19
take action afraid to make decisions
00:13:22
even if all the facts are there so I'll
00:13:23
follow this up with the question the
00:13:25
personality question so they're just all
00:13:28
just afraid to take action when all the
00:13:30
details are there and I'm I'm really
00:13:31
curious how is it with all this being
00:13:34
more and more common nowadays you are
00:13:37
able to
00:13:38
just and then whatever you say after
00:13:40
that that they will instantly adopt if
00:13:43
you're genuinely curious this will work
00:13:45
and if you have confidence and Authority
00:13:46
this will work all right so the next way
00:13:48
that I'll do the negative dissociation
00:13:50
is only slightly different every time I
00:13:53
talk to somebody who blank it's like
00:13:55
they all have the exact same thing going
00:13:57
on they just blank
00:13:59
so what was your turning point for your
00:14:02
blank when you decided to just
00:14:06
completely blank they would just throw
00:14:08
those beliefs in there whatever you want
00:14:11
that person to have you just stick it in
00:14:12
that blank and you're done and then we
00:14:14
use the article technique so what what
00:14:16
does that person want to be seen as uh
00:14:19
successful brilliant a good mom whatever
00:14:22
it is the article technique would just
00:14:24
sound like you're giving that one
00:14:26
identity statement and then describing
00:14:28
the two things or three things that you
00:14:29
read in this article as what you need
00:14:31
that person to have in that moment so
00:14:34
you'd say something like I've read this
00:14:35
incredible article just a couple of days
00:14:37
ago and they did this research and they
00:14:39
found out that there were two things
00:14:41
that every blank had in common and they
00:14:44
just go in to describe whatever you like
00:14:47
you put it in and then we have something
00:14:49
called negative offc casting and
00:14:51
negative offc casting is when we're
00:14:52
talking about one person that we don't
00:14:54
like it's not negative dissociation
00:14:56
we're just openly talking about somebody
00:14:58
that has the opposite of the qualities
00:15:01
we want them to have I'll use blanks in
00:15:03
here wherever I would be putting those
00:15:05
descriptions and I would say something
00:15:07
like everybody knows at least one of
00:15:10
those people you know I worked with a
00:15:11
guy in like 2017 who was just absolutely
00:15:14
blank and I actually felt bad for him
00:15:17
but there was no way that anybody could
00:15:20
talk him into being more blank and I
00:15:22
think it's so sad to see especially when
00:15:26
you genuinely want to guide them in into
00:15:29
the light but you know they just won't
00:15:30
do it so there's no dissociation here
00:15:33
I'm just talking negatively in a
00:15:36
positive way like I've wanted this I
00:15:37
wanted to help this person they probably
00:15:39
meant well they didn't want to change
00:15:41
themselves I'm just talking about one
00:15:43
tiny thing it's maybe two sentences of a
00:15:46
time that I met someone with these
00:15:48
negative qualities and now we're on the
00:15:50
final step of the formula the
00:15:52
introduction this is huge so essentially
00:15:56
you would talk to this person and figure
00:15:58
out who you've got someone in your
00:16:01
contacts right now that you could
00:16:02
connect this person to that's either
00:16:04
similar or maybe there's a podcast that
00:16:06
could go on there's a person they should
00:16:08
talk to they have a pipe break in their
00:16:11
house and you know a plumber doesn't
00:16:12
matter you have someone in your contacts
00:16:15
who you might this person might benefit
00:16:17
from being connected with uh all you're
00:16:19
saying is you know what I'd love to
00:16:21
connect you with this person who is also
00:16:24
into XYZ and then I'd send the C uh the
00:16:28
text and I would be typing in the text
00:16:30
be like John this is Chris I just met
00:16:33
him today and I wanted to Simply connect
00:16:35
you to Chris is extremely blank and he's
00:16:38
the kind of guy who blank so I'm I'm
00:16:42
giving him all the reputation that he
00:16:44
needs and then I'll follow up with
00:16:47
there's no need to act or anything here
00:16:49
I just wanted you guys to at least know
00:16:51
each other just that one introduction
00:16:53
makes it now we've made it social we've
00:16:55
made a social agreement you think Chris
00:16:57
is going to type back in that thread and
00:16:59
be like oh no chase is wrong I'm a piece
00:17:01
of
00:17:02
actually no they're going to agree
00:17:05
to be that way and they're going to be
00:17:07
agree to be that person not only with
00:17:08
the person that you're texting but now
00:17:10
they've made that agreement with you
00:17:12
because you've introduced them as that
00:17:15
and let's say if you do this in like a
00:17:16
15-minute conversation if you go back
00:17:18
you're not using this formula in some
00:17:20
linear fashion in between the person's
00:17:23
going to be talking about random
00:17:25
they had a flat tire their dog pooped in
00:17:27
the living room Whatever Gets brought up
00:17:29
in this conversation it's going to get
00:17:30
brought up and you keep going with this
00:17:33
so by the end of 15 minutes you throw a
00:17:35
few of these statements in there a few
00:17:37
of these sentences and if you just think
00:17:39
about some of these sentences they're
00:17:41
sentences you hear in everyday
00:17:43
conversation you hear somebody say you
00:17:45
know everybody knows at least one of
00:17:46
those people I work with this guy like
00:17:47
back in
00:17:48
2017 uh who was just an absolute dick
00:17:51
and I felt so bad for him but there's no
00:17:53
way anybody could talk him into being
00:17:55
more open and just taking action when
00:17:58
all the all the facts were just right
00:18:00
there in front of his face it was sad to
00:18:02
see especially when you genuinely want
00:18:05
to guide them into the light but you
00:18:07
know they just won't do it that sounds
00:18:09
like a regular conversation you might
00:18:11
over here in a bar or a restaurant these
00:18:13
techniques are extremely powerful stuff
00:18:17
and they produce lasting change those um
00:18:20
beliefs that we want to install in that
00:18:22
person and we said the three things I
00:18:24
want are the first three uh three that
00:18:27
we talked about like I take action when
00:18:29
things make sense I don't need
00:18:31
permission to take action and I'm an
00:18:33
innovator and I think outside the box
00:18:35
let's throw that in there uh so like
00:18:37
let's just go through like the fir
00:18:39
literally just go through the examples
00:18:40
word for word as I gave them to you so
00:18:42
here's what that conversation might
00:18:44
sound like you know what I got to be
00:18:45
honest you seem like you take action
00:18:47
faster than most people and I've been
00:18:49
doing this a while and I can tell this
00:18:51
is an elicitation statement if you
00:18:52
didn't notice it's a provocative
00:18:54
statement they're going to respond to it
00:18:56
next year's like wow that's really cool
00:18:58
can tell me a little bit more about how
00:19:00
you process stuff so fast because most
00:19:03
people that I work with usually need to
00:19:04
talk to somebody for a week and they
00:19:06
they just seem to get paralyzed what I'm
00:19:10
I'm just curious like what is it about
00:19:11
you is this something you grew up doing
00:19:14
next you might say you know I'm curious
00:19:15
to know more about how you got to this
00:19:18
place where you think outside the box
00:19:22
and in today's world people are so
00:19:24
scared of being independent they just I
00:19:26
just want to repeat what everyone else
00:19:28
is doing doing so now I'm kind of asking
00:19:30
them questions like a podcast host might
00:19:33
be asking them and then I would go you
00:19:35
know every time I I just talked to
00:19:37
someone who you know you can just tell
00:19:39
they aren't the sharpest knife in the
00:19:41
drawer it's like they all have the exact
00:19:44
same thing going on they just seem to be
00:19:46
so scared of what other people think and
00:19:49
they live inside this bubble and for you
00:19:54
like what was your turning point when
00:19:56
you decided to just live your own life
00:19:59
just make your own choices and I I
00:20:01
really just wish I could get my sister
00:20:03
into this mindset because it's kind of
00:20:05
crushing her so you notice I did a
00:20:06
little offc casting there and I said you
00:20:09
know what that makes absolute sense I
00:20:11
read this incredible article uh just a
00:20:13
few days ago and they did this research
00:20:15
and found out that there were two things
00:20:19
that every truly mentally successful
00:20:21
person had in common and they said that
00:20:23
they were they were number one they were
00:20:25
almost immune to the influence of other
00:20:28
people people so they didn't just like
00:20:30
live their lives as a sheep and that
00:20:34
100% of them that they found in this
00:20:36
whatever article study they did would
00:20:38
make decisions a lot faster they knew
00:20:41
that their gut and their intuition was
00:20:43
smarter than most people give it credit
00:20:46
for you wouldn't hear all of this in a
00:20:48
row in real conversation this would be
00:20:51
kind of gradually interspersed getting
00:20:53
gradual agreements gradual agreements so
00:20:55
that would just be an example of what
00:20:57
some of that stuff might s sound like
00:20:59
and it is very very powerful
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