00:00:00
what if I told you that the thing that
00:00:01
you're desperately chasing the perfect
00:00:04
body Fame success more money isn't
00:00:07
actually what you want I have spent 30
00:00:10
years figuring this out and I'm going to
00:00:12
save you Decades of time frustration and
00:00:14
suffering in the next 10 minutes we all
00:00:17
do this we all tell ourselves I'll be
00:00:19
happy when I'll be happy when I lose
00:00:22
weight I'll be happy when I get the
00:00:23
promotion I'll be happy when I have a
00:00:25
partner I'll finally be respected when
00:00:27
I'm successful but here's the truth I
00:00:29
wish I had have known earlier hi I'm
00:00:31
Maggie welcome to my channel so this is
00:00:34
embarrassing to admit but I used to want
00:00:36
to be famous like I really wanted it
00:00:38
ever since I was 12 and I had my first
00:00:40
role in the school play I got attention
00:00:43
I got accolades and I thought this is
00:00:45
pretty good I want this and like many
00:00:48
many actors it came from a deep place of
00:00:50
unworthiness know like a lot of kids I
00:00:53
felt overlooked not seen not special and
00:00:56
so acting gave me that moment of
00:00:59
attention that moment to shine it was
00:01:01
something that people said that I was
00:01:03
good at so I thought to myself in my
00:01:05
little child brain if I get famous then
00:01:08
everyone will like me then life will
00:01:10
work out then I'll be happy I chased
00:01:12
that dream for years the auditions the
00:01:15
rejections the small winds always
00:01:17
thinking the next role would be the one
00:01:19
that made me feel complete but here's
00:01:22
what I've learned I'm worthy right now
00:01:25
and you're worthy right now we're worthy
00:01:27
because we exist we've all heard the
00:01:29
Stories the gym carries of the world who
00:01:31
say that once they became famous they
00:01:34
felt empty and hollow inside why because
00:01:37
they chasing the wrong thing they
00:01:39
weren't actually seeking fame they were
00:01:41
seeking love validation and acceptance
00:01:45
things that they could have given
00:01:46
themselves all along things that I could
00:01:48
have given myself all along another
00:01:50
example from my life is that I thought
00:01:52
that no one would love me unless I was
00:01:54
thin any relationship that didn't work
00:01:56
out I would think it was because I
00:01:57
wasn't thin enough or pretty enough this
00:02:00
belief controlled every facet of my life
00:02:03
I was absolutely obsessed with it and
00:02:05
guess what I did get thin and I did find
00:02:08
love and now I'm 7 years into that
00:02:10
relationship with my dream partner who
00:02:13
was literally everything I've ever
00:02:14
wanted and as you do when you're in
00:02:17
relationships sometimes you let yourself
00:02:18
go a little bit and I gained some weight
00:02:20
and it still was an obsession in this
00:02:22
relationship even though I had love do
00:02:25
have love right now but I had this
00:02:27
realization what I really wanted wasn't
00:02:29
the perfect body or the perfect
00:02:31
relationship what I wanted was my own
00:02:35
love to feel love for myself to approve
00:02:38
of myself to deeply accept myself as I
00:02:41
am no matter what I weigh no matter what
00:02:44
I look like to be okay no matter what
00:02:47
and I could have given myself that a
00:02:49
long time ago as well think about it how
00:02:53
many times have you chased a goal
00:02:55
achieved the goal and then felt happy
00:02:58
for a minute or two
00:03:01
and then you're on to the next goal then
00:03:03
you felt that dissatisfaction that itch
00:03:05
that urge to achieve something else you
00:03:07
know I work with the elderly I'm a
00:03:09
podiatrist and most of my patients are
00:03:11
over 70 a lot of them well over 80 over
00:03:14
90 and I've even got some over 100 and
00:03:16
I've been doing this job for over 20
00:03:18
years and let me tell you that gives you
00:03:20
a whole new perspective on life I know
00:03:23
what it looks like to age well I know
00:03:25
what it looks like to age poorly and I'm
00:03:26
not talking about looks I'm talking
00:03:28
about mobility and health I have
00:03:30
patients in Housing Commission Flats I
00:03:33
have patients that are in multi-million
00:03:35
dollar homes overlooking the beach I've
00:03:37
got patients who spend all of their
00:03:39
money on lottery tickets and when I ask
00:03:41
them what are you going to do if you win
00:03:43
they say what do I need all that money
00:03:45
for I would just give it to my family so
00:03:47
they're spending all their pension money
00:03:49
all their spare money even in this cost
00:03:51
of living crisis on lottery tickets for
00:03:55
a dream that they're not even going to
00:03:57
enjoy because they feel too old to enjoy
00:04:00
life however I also have some patients
00:04:03
who are amazing they're so curious they
00:04:06
got a sparkle in their eye they're so
00:04:09
fun to be around they got a great sense
00:04:11
of humor they'll say I look in the
00:04:13
mirror I don't recognize that old lady
00:04:15
so I just keep walking you know they
00:04:18
never stop growing they've got purpose
00:04:21
whether it's gardening or traveling some
00:04:24
of them are doing crazy things like I
00:04:26
had this patient who's like 85 or
00:04:29
something and she jump jumped out of a
00:04:30
plane these patients are so inspiring
00:04:33
there's really something about them they
00:04:35
tend to be really joyful and really
00:04:38
content and really accepting and I think
00:04:41
these patients whether consciously or
00:04:43
unconsciously they understand something
00:04:45
crucial and that is we're either
00:04:47
evolving or devolving but we're never
00:04:50
staying the same if you're not growing
00:04:52
and learning and experiencing you are
00:04:54
dying you're getting smaller your world
00:04:57
is getting smaller you're stunted no one
00:04:59
is going to stay the same I had a
00:05:01
patient the other day who was
00:05:03
complaining to me about her wrinkles and
00:05:06
she was
00:05:07
92 complaining about her wrinkles
00:05:10
because her 7-year-old daughter-in-law
00:05:13
has lovely skin and she was envious of
00:05:16
that skin and wanting to get the $12
00:05:18
skin care product moisturizer that her
00:05:20
daughter-in-law has and I'm like you're
00:05:23
92 I have so many patients who will say
00:05:27
how old do you think I am this obsession
00:05:30
with what we look like externally
00:05:33
doesn't stop unless you choose to stop
00:05:35
it you want to know what true freedom
00:05:37
feels like it's when something that used
00:05:40
to scare you doesn't scare you anymore
00:05:43
when you can speak in front of people
00:05:45
without your heart racing when people
00:05:48
who used to bother you who maybe were
00:05:49
mean to you or cruel to you when their
00:05:51
words don't affect you anymore when you
00:05:53
don't care what people think when you've
00:05:56
had wounds and triggers that used to
00:05:58
just set you off when it's like like
00:05:59
water off a duck's back that's true
00:06:02
Freedom when you can look in the mirror
00:06:05
and see your aging face and completely
00:06:08
accept yourself and love yourself when
00:06:10
you can look at your middle-aged body
00:06:12
and go yes my body is changing but I
00:06:14
still love it when you can walk into a
00:06:17
party and not be thinking what will
00:06:19
people think of me but be thinking I'm
00:06:22
curious who's here who can I meet what
00:06:24
can I learn today that's what real
00:06:27
confidence looks like not the fake kind
00:06:30
when you're seeking validation where
00:06:31
you're putting photos of yourself on
00:06:33
Instagram to make it look like you have
00:06:35
a wonderful life real confidence is when
00:06:38
external things don't get to you anymore
00:06:40
where you're not walking around getting
00:06:42
offended taking things personally or
00:06:44
being triggered by people no one has
00:06:47
that power over you I used to
00:06:49
desperately want to pay off my mortgage
00:06:51
I still do of course I want to pay off
00:06:53
my mortgage but I used to think I
00:06:55
wouldn't feel safe until I paid off my
00:06:57
mortgage which is 25 years
00:07:00
and then someone said to me imagine
00:07:03
having paid off your mortgage and then
00:07:05
think about finances what comes up for
00:07:07
you and I'm like oh well I've got to pay
00:07:09
the rates and I've got to pay the bills
00:07:11
and I've got to pay the XY Z and what if
00:07:13
this and what if that and then it became
00:07:15
very clear to me that my fear was around
00:07:18
scarcity of there not being enough of
00:07:20
not being safe but I can give myself
00:07:22
that feeling of Safety and Security
00:07:24
right now by trusting that it's a
00:07:26
benevolent Universe trusting that things
00:07:29
always work out for me by reframing the
00:07:32
negative into the positive I'm
00:07:34
bastardizing this but I think Einstein
00:07:36
said you need to decide if this universe
00:07:38
is friendly or not and for a long time I
00:07:41
thought the universe was not friendly
00:07:43
but now I truly believe that she is
00:07:45
benevolent she is always pushing you and
00:07:48
helping you to grow and to give you the
00:07:50
things that you say that you want
00:07:52
however that looks like it may not be
00:07:53
how you think it should look but that's
00:07:55
what she's doing I had an experience
00:07:57
recently with my YouTube channel which I
00:07:59
really really want to grow I love it so
00:08:02
much I genuinely love YouTube so now's
00:08:05
probably a good time to ask you to like
00:08:06
And subscribe and maybe comment if
00:08:07
you're enjoying this video but yes
00:08:09
recently I released a video and it did
00:08:11
really well it's at 33,000 views which
00:08:14
is huge for me very very exciting it's
00:08:17
what I always wanted and then something
00:08:19
interesting happened fear began to creep
00:08:21
in a little bit I started to get a
00:08:24
little worried about the next video what
00:08:26
if it doesn't do so well what if it was
00:08:28
a one wonder what if I can't replicate
00:08:31
that success I had forgotten the whole
00:08:33
point the whole point is to grow is to
00:08:37
serve is to evolve it's to add value to
00:08:40
people through my videos it's not to go
00:08:42
viral of course I would love my videos
00:08:44
to do well but keeping it in perspective
00:08:47
what is the point the point is to make
00:08:49
videos that help touch move and inspire
00:08:52
people to help them lead a compassionate
00:08:54
life a joyful life offering the
00:08:57
knowledge and wisdom that I've gained
00:08:58
over my 48 years everyone has something
00:09:01
to offer everyone has life experience
00:09:03
there's always something to offer so the
00:09:06
journey is the destination a lot of
00:09:09
people say it's not the journey it's the
00:09:11
destination but a wise teacher of mine
00:09:13
said the journey is the destination this
00:09:16
is it this is it not when I get 100,000
00:09:20
subscribers or not when you know you're
00:09:23
thin or you're rich or whatever the
00:09:26
journey is the destination the Joy isn't
00:09:29
reaching the goal it's the process of
00:09:31
getting there it's all the little wins
00:09:33
and victories and struggles along the
00:09:36
way it's the hero's journey it's when
00:09:38
you're you take your first step and
00:09:40
you've got your backpack and then you
00:09:43
you travel along and there's dragons you
00:09:44
got to slay and then there's things you
00:09:46
got to overcome obstacles scary forests
00:09:51
old man with a crystal ball all these
00:09:54
things that is the hero's journey and
00:09:56
that is life the journey is the
00:09:58
destination
00:10:00
it's not getting to the peak of the
00:10:01
mountain although that is nice once
00:10:03
you're there then there's another
00:10:04
mountain and then there's another
00:10:06
mountain and then there's another
00:10:07
Mountain thank God there's another
00:10:09
Mountain so here's what it took me 30
00:10:11
years to understand you can have
00:10:14
everything you want right now because
00:10:17
everything you think you want is because
00:10:20
it's going to give you a feeling it's
00:10:23
going to give you a feeling of being
00:10:24
loved accepted validated enough approved
00:10:27
of all the things you're actually
00:10:30
searching for that feeling and you can
00:10:31
give yourself that feeling right here
00:10:34
right now you want to feel worthy give
00:10:37
yourself permission to feel worthy right
00:10:39
now and you're so worthy you're so
00:10:41
worthy you're worthy because you exist
00:10:43
you're an aspect of God you want to feel
00:10:46
safe now then choose to feel safe now
00:10:49
choose to believe that you live in a
00:10:51
safe benevolent universe that loves you
00:10:54
you want to feel loved now don't wait
00:10:56
till you meet that partner love yourself
00:10:59
now make the choice to love yourself now
00:11:01
develop a relationship with yourself
00:11:03
right now we're meant to grow we're
00:11:05
meant to evolve We're Meant To Dream Big
00:11:07
Dreams but not because those dreams will
00:11:10
make us happy it's because the process
00:11:13
of growing itself is what brings
00:11:15
fulfillment look at your own life what
00:11:18
are you waiting for what is the thing
00:11:21
that you think will make you feel
00:11:23
complete or whole or happy or content
00:11:26
and give that to yourself right now the
00:11:29
choice is yours are you going to wait
00:11:31
till someday to Feel Complete life is
00:11:33
not about meeting some magical
00:11:35
destination it's about growing until we
00:11:38
take our last breath it's about evolving
00:11:41
and trying things out and being the best
00:11:43
we can be you know every time we try
00:11:46
something new we step out of our comfort
00:11:48
zone new doors open new opportunities
00:11:51
appear it is amazing what can happen
00:11:54
when you get into your discomfort Zone
00:11:57
it really is a hero's journey I so
00:11:59
excited by life every year that I look
00:12:02
back on the last year and think oh God
00:12:04
that wasn't a good look oh how
00:12:06
embarrassing that's a good thing that
00:12:08
shows that I'm now in a position where I
00:12:11
can do better than I did then and I hope
00:12:13
to live that way for the rest of my life
00:12:15
thank you so much for watching much love
00:12:18
see you in the next video
