My Enlightenment Experience - Exactly How It Happened

00:51:32
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOsUx9a3UoU

概要

TLDRLeo from actualized.org discusses his second enlightenment experience that occurred during a 10-day silent meditation retreat. He explains that his first experience was murky and hard to understand, but this second one was more profound and clear. Leo describes the process leading to this experience, involving a 'do nothing' technique and concepts like spaciousness and omnipresence. He experienced a separation of self and thoughts, gaining an insight into the nature of thoughts. Leo emphasizes the importance of the process and conscious awareness, rather than just the intellectual understanding of enlightenment. This experience, although not permanent, had a significant impact on Leo, enhancing his meditation practice and everyday mindfulness. He shares this experience to illustrate the reality and potential of these states of consciousness, and to offer a guide to similar self-inquiry and meditation techniques for others on their path to enlightenment.

収穫

  • 🧘‍♂️ Meditation can lead to profound insights.
  • 🌌 Experiencing omnipresence reshapes self-perception.
  • 🔍 Self-inquiry is a key component of enlightenment.
  • 💡 Conscious traction is crucial during meditation.
  • 🧠 Thought awareness transforms mental clarity.
  • 🚶‍♂️ Personal journeys reveal more than philosophies.
  • 🌄 The environment can deepen meditative states.
  • 🗝 Techniques like 'do nothing' unlock new awareness.
  • 🔄 Enlightenment experiences are often temporary but impactful.
  • 🌿 Mindfulness and meditation improve post-experience.

タイムライン

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    Leo discusses his second Enlightenment experience after a 10-day silent meditation retreat. He compares it to his first ambiguous experience, which lacked the conceptual framework for understanding. This time, he was fully alert without any hallucinations or sleepiness. He emphasizes that Enlightenment is a tangible experience created through focused work.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    During the retreat in Virginia, Leo practiced a technique called 'do nothing' which involved letting awareness float without control. As his mind settled, he began experiencing 'spaciousness,' realizing there was nothing before or after natural elements like trees in his view, signifying a disconnect from the conceptual.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    Progressing deeper, Leo explored the concept of himself being just a belief. By aligning with the awareness of body sensations having no origin or destination, he began shifting into a state of questioning existence, prompting the potent realization that personal identification might be an arbitrary partition by social conditioning.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    Using self-inquiry, Leo found himself questioning beyond logical answers, eventually reaching a peak where he experienced a moment of sincere 'not knowing' who he was. This state opened his mind beyond physical and human self-perceptions.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    In this state, pondering omnipresence brought forth a significant insight. He describes an experience transforming from a focal point perception, like a camera, to enveloping omnipresence as space itself, leading to an expanded awareness and balance between figure and ground perception.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    Leo experienced an 'absolute now' or heightened present moment awareness. This state separated him from his thought stream, revealing thoughts as mere phenomena lacking inherent meaning, promoting a profound, lucid peace.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    The state unveiled thoughts' nature, allowing Leo to view them as phenomena without intrinsic meaning, providing significant insights into conscious awareness. Despite losing his omnipresent state over time, he maintained a residual heightened sense of mindfulness and peace.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    After reporting to the retreat leader, he learned his experience is a minor glimpse, likened to viewing 'a few hairs of the ox’s tail' — an analogy for enlightenment stages, suggesting much more is to uncover and experience along the path.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:45:00

    Post-retreat, Leo finds his meditations have intensified, and his daily supply of mindfulness and consciousness has increased significantly. This ongoing expansion indicates progress despite not achieving full Enlightenment.

  • 00:45:00 - 00:51:32

    Leo explains the significance of continual self-inquiry and confronting doubts. He aims to demystify the Enlightenment process, showing real-time progression rather than post-attainment, bridging practical encouragement and shared journey insights.

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よくある質問

  • What happened to Leo during his meditation retreat?

    Leo experienced a shift in consciousness that he describes as a form of enlightenment.

  • What does Leo mean by 'enlightenment'?

    It is a state of heightened awareness or realization that Leo described experiencing.

  • How did Leo achieve his enlightenment experience?

    Leo mentions practicing meditation and techniques like 'do nothing' and self-inquiry to reach his enlightenment.

  • How did Leo describe his consciousness during the enlightenment experience?

    Leo discusses feeling omnipresent and having a sensation of profound understanding and peace.

  • What effects did the enlightenment experience have on Leo?

    The experience made Leo feel more focused, peaceful, and provided a new perspective on thoughts and sensations.

  • What is the purpose of Leo sharing his enlightenment experience?

    Leo aims to show the process and challenges of achieving enlightenment rather than just sharing the experience itself.

  • What techniques does Leo suggest for achieving enlightenment?

    Leo suggests employing meditation, self-inquiry, and being open to new perspectives.

  • Was Leo's enlightenment experience permanent?

    The experience itself was temporary, but it left Leo with lasting insights and a sense of wonder.

  • What does Leo plan to do after this enlightenment experience?

    Leo continues to work on personal development and shares insights as they happen.

  • How did the experience change Leo's approach to meditation?

    The insight from his experience allows him to meditate more effectively and remain mindful even outside of traditional meditation times.

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  • 00:00:00
    hey this is Leo for actualized.org and
  • 00:00:05
    in this episode I'm going to be talking
  • 00:00:07
    about my Enlightenment
  • 00:00:14
    [Music]
  • 00:00:21
    experience so I just came back from a
  • 00:00:25
    10day silent Meditation
  • 00:00:27
    Retreat and I had a really interesting
  • 00:00:31
    experience at the end of The Retreat and
  • 00:00:34
    that's on top of all the cool insights
  • 00:00:35
    that I got that I'm excited to share
  • 00:00:37
    with you in the upcoming
  • 00:00:40
    videos but what I got here is I got what
  • 00:00:43
    I think I'm going to call my second
  • 00:00:45
    Enlightenment experience so I did have
  • 00:00:47
    one before this which was about a year
  • 00:00:51
    and a half ago when I first
  • 00:00:54
    began this journey towards ignment but
  • 00:00:57
    the problem with the first experience
  • 00:00:58
    that I had uh uh it's it's hard for me
  • 00:01:02
    to even understand what was happening
  • 00:01:04
    then because back then I didn't have the
  • 00:01:07
    concepts and framework that I have now
  • 00:01:09
    to understand what the hell is going on
  • 00:01:10
    in these experiences this is actually a
  • 00:01:13
    common phenomenon for example for people
  • 00:01:14
    who do uh mushrooms are psychedelics is
  • 00:01:17
    that they have this kind of
  • 00:01:18
    Consciousness expanding experience but
  • 00:01:20
    then they lose it and they don't retain
  • 00:01:22
    any of it and they can't even make sense
  • 00:01:24
    of it and it just seems like this oh is
  • 00:01:26
    just you know just a cool emotional
  • 00:01:28
    state that I was in for a while
  • 00:01:31
    um but it's actually not that and the
  • 00:01:34
    problem is that you don't have the kind
  • 00:01:35
    of intellectual framework that's
  • 00:01:37
    necessary to really make sense of it so
  • 00:01:39
    the first experience I had was kind of
  • 00:01:40
    murky and it was hard to distinguish it
  • 00:01:42
    from a hallucination and my eyes were
  • 00:01:44
    kind of closed and I was very sleepy and
  • 00:01:46
    yeah um I won't talk about that but this
  • 00:01:50
    second experience this was something
  • 00:01:53
    remarkable that I've never experienced
  • 00:01:55
    before in my life and here I was
  • 00:01:57
    completely awake complet completely
  • 00:02:00
    alert eyes
  • 00:02:02
    open no
  • 00:02:04
    hallucinations and it was a really
  • 00:02:06
    extraordinary thing and what I want to
  • 00:02:08
    do is I think it would be valuable not
  • 00:02:10
    to just tell you about this experience
  • 00:02:12
    as in all I had some Awakening
  • 00:02:14
    experience but to tell you about this
  • 00:02:16
    experience as a stepbystep process for
  • 00:02:19
    how I generated The Experience because
  • 00:02:22
    the experience was
  • 00:02:24
    created this is something you do through
  • 00:02:26
    work this is not something you just
  • 00:02:29
    happen to stumble on and if you're
  • 00:02:31
    following my other Enlightenment videos
  • 00:02:33
    and you're using that looking process
  • 00:02:36
    that I talked about if you're using some
  • 00:02:37
    sort of self- inquiry process or if you
  • 00:02:39
    meditate then you'll see some very uh
  • 00:02:42
    important points here because I'm going
  • 00:02:44
    to take you through every step after my
  • 00:02:47
    experience I actually sat down and I
  • 00:02:48
    made sure to write down every step uh a
  • 00:02:51
    lot of De details so that I could track
  • 00:02:54
    everything that was happening in my mind
  • 00:02:56
    to create this experience so that I
  • 00:02:58
    could recreate it later
  • 00:03:00
    uh and actually what happened is that
  • 00:03:01
    I'm um I was able to just yesterday
  • 00:03:04
    almost recreate it so I'm really
  • 00:03:06
    confident now that um there's a lot
  • 00:03:08
    learned in breaking down the process and
  • 00:03:10
    I think it's going to help you with your
  • 00:03:11
    self-
  • 00:03:12
    inquiry so let me tell you a little bit
  • 00:03:15
    about this experience let me set it up
  • 00:03:16
    for you so what was happening is that I
  • 00:03:18
    was at a retreat and this was like a
  • 00:03:20
    church ground where we had uh little
  • 00:03:23
    cabins and stuff and then there was like
  • 00:03:25
    a a chapel um but there weren't any
  • 00:03:28
    church activities going on we were just
  • 00:03:29
    kind of using that complex and anyways
  • 00:03:32
    most folks were meditating off together
  • 00:03:34
    in some Hall um but I didn't want to do
  • 00:03:37
    that I was just meditating by myself and
  • 00:03:39
    this was in Virginia and I don't know if
  • 00:03:41
    you've ever been to Virginia I haven't
  • 00:03:43
    this was my first time there and it's
  • 00:03:44
    really an amazing beautiful natural
  • 00:03:48
    scene cuz what they've got now here in
  • 00:03:50
    the summer is um the weather's very
  • 00:03:53
    humid just like super super humid um and
  • 00:03:56
    in fact we had rain storm clouds uh for
  • 00:03:59
    most of the week and on this day it was
  • 00:04:02
    raining and very cloudy and I was
  • 00:04:04
    sitting there uh by the chapel so the
  • 00:04:07
    chapel was this cool little modern
  • 00:04:09
    designed church and it um it was on this
  • 00:04:11
    Rolling Green Hill and the entire estate
  • 00:04:15
    was just these giant Rolling Green Hills
  • 00:04:17
    with dense like ancient forests and huge
  • 00:04:20
    trees and um birds and insects flying
  • 00:04:23
    around it's just like a very natural
  • 00:04:25
    idic
  • 00:04:26
    scene uh so perfect for meditation which
  • 00:04:29
    is why I wanted to sit out there and
  • 00:04:31
    this this Chapel it was set up on this
  • 00:04:33
    platform that was kind of hanging over
  • 00:04:36
    this Rolling Green Hill and I was
  • 00:04:38
    sitting right on the edge of this
  • 00:04:39
    platform and there's like a little
  • 00:04:40
    balcony area out there in a wooden bench
  • 00:04:43
    so I was sitting on that bench uh
  • 00:04:45
    cross-legged with like a blanket over me
  • 00:04:48
    um and uh I was just looking at the the
  • 00:04:51
    rain and the Rolling Green Hills and all
  • 00:04:54
    the birds flying around and the clouds
  • 00:04:57
    and the giant green forest
  • 00:05:00
    far off into the distance and this was
  • 00:05:02
    evening time the sun was kind of setting
  • 00:05:04
    but it was so cloudy you couldn't really
  • 00:05:05
    see it um and I was sitting under a roof
  • 00:05:09
    kind of you know uh a roof area so that
  • 00:05:12
    um rain wasn't dripping down on me so it
  • 00:05:15
    was really the perfect setting and I'm
  • 00:05:18
    sitting here and what I'm doing is I'm
  • 00:05:21
    practicing this technique called do
  • 00:05:23
    nothing which is a new technique that I
  • 00:05:25
    was practicing and I'll talk about that
  • 00:05:28
    technique in detail in other videos
  • 00:05:30
    um but what I'll say about it here is
  • 00:05:32
    that the do nothing technique is a very
  • 00:05:33
    interesting technique where you
  • 00:05:35
    literally just sit and you don't try to
  • 00:05:38
    do anything at all and in fact anytime
  • 00:05:40
    your awareness tries to go somewhere you
  • 00:05:42
    try to control your awareness you just
  • 00:05:43
    completely detach and Let It Go seems
  • 00:05:47
    simple but actually I it is simple but
  • 00:05:50
    it can be a little tricky to do it right
  • 00:05:52
    so does require some practice and
  • 00:05:54
    explanation which I won't really go into
  • 00:05:56
    here but anyways I was doing the do
  • 00:05:57
    nothing technique and you usually when
  • 00:05:59
    you start doing the do nothing technique
  • 00:06:01
    and you sit there your mind just kind of
  • 00:06:02
    wanders around and it's really
  • 00:06:04
    indistinguishable from your ordinary
  • 00:06:06
    monkey mind that you have when you're
  • 00:06:08
    not meditating so I was getting that and
  • 00:06:10
    I was thinking about all sorts of things
  • 00:06:11
    left and right but then after a while
  • 00:06:14
    all that stuff kind of exhausted itself
  • 00:06:16
    and my mind started getting more and
  • 00:06:18
    more and more
  • 00:06:20
    focused focusing
  • 00:06:22
    in um and as I was doing that then uh I
  • 00:06:26
    started just kind of naturally as part
  • 00:06:27
    of the do nothing technique my mind
  • 00:06:29
    started Gra towards this notion that I
  • 00:06:31
    learned called exploring
  • 00:06:34
    spaciousness spaciousness is an
  • 00:06:35
    interesting concept which again I can't
  • 00:06:37
    really cover in too much detail here but
  • 00:06:39
    basically what was happening was that I
  • 00:06:40
    was sitting
  • 00:06:41
    there and I was looking at the trees far
  • 00:06:44
    off into the distance and then what I
  • 00:06:47
    kind of realized had this little mini
  • 00:06:49
    Insight I had multiple mini insights to
  • 00:06:52
    ultimately get to my experience um the
  • 00:06:55
    mini Insight was that when I'm looking
  • 00:06:57
    at the tree that actually there's
  • 00:07:00
    nothing behind the tree and there's
  • 00:07:04
    nothing in front of the
  • 00:07:06
    tree now this takes a little
  • 00:07:10
    explanation because if I just say that
  • 00:07:12
    in
  • 00:07:12
    normal speak common Parlin then we say
  • 00:07:16
    well I mean there you know behind the
  • 00:07:19
    first tree there's the second tree and
  • 00:07:20
    the fifth tree and the 10th tree and the
  • 00:07:22
    hundredth tree and then maybe behind
  • 00:07:23
    that there's a road behind that there's
  • 00:07:24
    a hill behind that there's a a building
  • 00:07:27
    or something like that right and in
  • 00:07:28
    front of the tree well there's empty air
  • 00:07:30
    there's a bird flying and there's and
  • 00:07:32
    then there's me like it all points back
  • 00:07:34
    to me and I'm here at the very front and
  • 00:07:37
    at the very end is like uh the vacuum of
  • 00:07:41
    space now what's interesting is that
  • 00:07:44
    that's all a conceptualization that's
  • 00:07:46
    not actually what's going on with your
  • 00:07:48
    phenomenal sensory visual field in your
  • 00:07:51
    visual field like if you're looking at
  • 00:07:52
    me right now maybe you can get a little
  • 00:07:54
    taste of this um you're seeing my face
  • 00:07:58
    you're seeing the
  • 00:08:00
    background now the question is what's
  • 00:08:02
    behind that what you're
  • 00:08:05
    seeing give you a hint it's not pixels
  • 00:08:08
    on a computer
  • 00:08:10
    screen it's not a desk it's not a wall
  • 00:08:13
    it's not your
  • 00:08:15
    car it's
  • 00:08:18
    nothingness literally nothingness is
  • 00:08:20
    behind it now if you get a little taste
  • 00:08:23
    of that you can take it the opposite
  • 00:08:25
    direction what is in front of me so now
  • 00:08:29
    you would normally think that well in
  • 00:08:31
    front of Leo's face these pixels on the
  • 00:08:34
    computer screen are uh is what empty air
  • 00:08:39
    uh air is not really empty but it's
  • 00:08:40
    there's air here and then there's some
  • 00:08:42
    space some distance and then there's
  • 00:08:44
    what there's you you are sitting there
  • 00:08:46
    like a camera taking all this
  • 00:08:48
    in but can you get a
  • 00:08:51
    taste that actually that's not accurate
  • 00:08:55
    that there's like nothing here nothing
  • 00:08:59
    nothing there I know kind of working
  • 00:09:02
    from your perspective so if we're
  • 00:09:03
    looking from your perspective then
  • 00:09:04
    there's nothing there
  • 00:09:07
    behind behind your eyes there's nothing
  • 00:09:11
    in front of Leo right now these these
  • 00:09:13
    colors that you're seeing there's
  • 00:09:14
    nothing in front of that so it's like
  • 00:09:16
    your sensory field has this weird
  • 00:09:19
    spaciousness this is what they call
  • 00:09:20
    spaciousness going on one aspect of
  • 00:09:21
    spaciousness is that um there's like a
  • 00:09:24
    like a almost like a flatness to what
  • 00:09:27
    whatever you're looking at there's
  • 00:09:28
    nothing behind and there's nothing in
  • 00:09:30
    front of
  • 00:09:31
    it now it's cool to philosophize about
  • 00:09:35
    that and just kind of think oh that's
  • 00:09:37
    kind of interesting but when you
  • 00:09:39
    actually sit there and you meditate and
  • 00:09:41
    you concentrate and you get a real hit
  • 00:09:44
    on that with your awareness and there's
  • 00:09:46
    like traction you get traction with your
  • 00:09:49
    awareness it's not just an
  • 00:09:51
    idea then it's like whoa
  • 00:09:55
    whoa that's [ __ ] eerie and that's a
  • 00:09:59
    exactly what happened to me is that I I
  • 00:10:01
    I started to see this tree and I I got
  • 00:10:03
    this hit that [ __ ] I'm not looking at
  • 00:10:05
    the tree it's just a
  • 00:10:07
    tree there's not anything here in front
  • 00:10:11
    of the tree which normally we assume is
  • 00:10:13
    I'm here um so that expanded my mind a
  • 00:10:17
    little bit my mind started to focus in
  • 00:10:19
    more then what I did is I used another
  • 00:10:21
    technique that I learned a while ago um
  • 00:10:24
    it's called the um well I don't know if
  • 00:10:26
    there's a name for it but basically what
  • 00:10:27
    I did is I just took my finger and I
  • 00:10:29
    literally tried to draw a line from the
  • 00:10:31
    tree so I stretched my finger out like
  • 00:10:33
    this into the distance to where the tree
  • 00:10:35
    was uh like a mile or two away and then
  • 00:10:38
    I try to trace it back to what is what
  • 00:10:42
    is here what's in front of the tree and
  • 00:10:44
    if you do that very carefully and you're
  • 00:10:45
    very conscious and focused what you'll
  • 00:10:47
    notice is that there's actually no point
  • 00:10:51
    at which the finger touches
  • 00:10:53
    you it's it's weird it's freaky so I did
  • 00:10:57
    that and that reinforced this sense of
  • 00:10:59
    like whoo
  • 00:11:01
    Insight um then what I did is I I
  • 00:11:05
    focused my gaze and my vision downward
  • 00:11:07
    at the balcony floor which was made out
  • 00:11:09
    of stone so I I moved it much closer to
  • 00:11:11
    me gave me a little bit of a different
  • 00:11:13
    feel and I was looking at the
  • 00:11:15
    stones and I actually started to just
  • 00:11:17
    kind of blank out and uh not really
  • 00:11:20
    focus on the stones and I started to get
  • 00:11:21
    this uh my awareness shifting inside the
  • 00:11:24
    sensations in my body and so I just
  • 00:11:26
    became mindful of all the sensations in
  • 00:11:28
    my body maybe you can do that for
  • 00:11:29
    yourself right
  • 00:11:31
    now you can just kind of like feel your
  • 00:11:33
    hands and feel your chest and feel stuff
  • 00:11:37
    flowing around in there um so I got a
  • 00:11:39
    sense of that and then the inside hit me
  • 00:11:42
    what if the bodily Sensations are just
  • 00:11:45
    like the tree and I try to in my mind go
  • 00:11:48
    and kind of do that finger pointing
  • 00:11:50
    method with the body sensation I try to
  • 00:11:52
    track where are the Body Sensations like
  • 00:11:56
    going to where are they coming from and
  • 00:11:57
    where are they going to and what what I
  • 00:11:59
    discovered again is that oh [ __ ] they're
  • 00:12:01
    not coming from anywhere and they're not
  • 00:12:02
    going to anywhere so it's like your Body
  • 00:12:05
    Sensations are surrounded by nothingness
  • 00:12:07
    just like your visual Sensational field
  • 00:12:09
    is surrounded by nothingness um but
  • 00:12:12
    again you can't just understand this
  • 00:12:14
    logically you need to actually get a
  • 00:12:16
    real conscious hit on this which I
  • 00:12:19
    got um so then what I had is I had this
  • 00:12:24
    kind
  • 00:12:25
    of mini awareness that there is no one
  • 00:12:29
    actually experiencing the body that it's
  • 00:12:31
    kind of like just free floating
  • 00:12:34
    around um and then I kind of let go of
  • 00:12:37
    the do nothing method because this was
  • 00:12:39
    all pretty much do nothing um and then
  • 00:12:42
    what I did is I kind of took a little
  • 00:12:43
    bit of conscious control and I started
  • 00:12:45
    doing the self inquiry method and the
  • 00:12:46
    self- inquiry is um also what I call the
  • 00:12:49
    Looking process um this is what I talk
  • 00:12:52
    about in the how to become enlightened
  • 00:12:53
    video if you watch that one basically
  • 00:12:55
    it's asking yourself the question who am
  • 00:12:58
    I
  • 00:13:00
    who am I or who's the perceiver who's
  • 00:13:03
    perceiving all this stuff who's
  • 00:13:06
    aware so I started asking myself that
  • 00:13:08
    question who am I
  • 00:13:10
    and at first I noticed that I was just
  • 00:13:13
    asking the question asking the question
  • 00:13:15
    and I wasn't really actually generating
  • 00:13:17
    an honest tangible answer so that's one
  • 00:13:20
    real problem with the technique is when
  • 00:13:21
    you're just asking that question but not
  • 00:13:23
    generating tangible honest answers then
  • 00:13:25
    you tend to get stuck but you know I've
  • 00:13:27
    been um I've been doing this self
  • 00:13:29
    inquiry thing for about a year and a
  • 00:13:30
    half now so I've I've made a lot of
  • 00:13:32
    mistakes and I've gotten stuck a lot of
  • 00:13:34
    times before so now I'm a little bit
  • 00:13:35
    more aware about those pitfalls so I'm
  • 00:13:38
    conscious enough now to see that oh I
  • 00:13:39
    actually need to generate an honest
  • 00:13:41
    answer because the problem is that when
  • 00:13:43
    we ask who are you when you ask that
  • 00:13:45
    question of yourself what happens that
  • 00:13:47
    your mind gets very vague and it says
  • 00:13:50
    like oh well you know I'm back there I'm
  • 00:13:52
    certainly back there you know I'm this
  • 00:13:53
    I'm I'm my body or I'm my mind or I'm
  • 00:13:56
    the thoughts or it comes up with
  • 00:13:58
    something but usually until you start
  • 00:14:00
    doing this self- inquiry you don't even
  • 00:14:02
    have anything tangible that it comes up
  • 00:14:03
    with the mind just kind of just vaguely
  • 00:14:05
    senses that oh I'm back there
  • 00:14:08
    somewhere but where exactly are you what
  • 00:14:12
    aspect of your experience are you are
  • 00:14:15
    you even an aspect of your experience
  • 00:14:17
    right
  • 00:14:18
    now that's something you're going to
  • 00:14:20
    have to look into for a good long while
  • 00:14:23
    before you can even start to just get
  • 00:14:25
    your mind to generate some honest
  • 00:14:27
    answers now notice here that an honest
  • 00:14:30
    answer isn't a correct answer so I knew
  • 00:14:33
    that when I was forcing myself to
  • 00:14:34
    generate this honest answer that it
  • 00:14:36
    would be the wrong answer because I
  • 00:14:37
    already know logically that I'm not my
  • 00:14:40
    body or the mind or the thoughts or a
  • 00:14:42
    perceiver or even a physical entity I
  • 00:14:44
    already know all this
  • 00:14:45
    logically um but notice here the reason
  • 00:14:48
    I'm going through all these steps is
  • 00:14:50
    that logic counts for nothing here you
  • 00:14:53
    need to actually get conscious traction
  • 00:14:55
    and this conscious traction is what I'm
  • 00:14:57
    kind of showing you how to get right so
  • 00:14:59
    you kind of ask yourself these questions
  • 00:15:00
    and just kind of kind of like focus in
  • 00:15:02
    and focus in and focus in and try to get
  • 00:15:04
    it sometimes you're lucky and you get a
  • 00:15:06
    little mini Insight sometimes nothing
  • 00:15:09
    happens in fact usually nothing happens
  • 00:15:11
    or you just become very frustrated or
  • 00:15:12
    you get some logical answer if you get a
  • 00:15:15
    logical answer you have to throw that
  • 00:15:16
    out and go for the traction don't be
  • 00:15:19
    satisfied with just a logical
  • 00:15:21
    answer so I'm forcing my mind to
  • 00:15:24
    generate
  • 00:15:26
    this answer um and the answer that I
  • 00:15:30
    come up with is that I am this sense of
  • 00:15:34
    body and mind and
  • 00:15:37
    thoughts and the one perceiving it all
  • 00:15:39
    so I'm just kind of like
  • 00:15:42
    amalgamation um and that to me in the
  • 00:15:44
    moment felt like a very honest answer I
  • 00:15:46
    really tried to force myself to actually
  • 00:15:48
    pin that down and I pinned it down and
  • 00:15:51
    as soon as I did that I sat with that
  • 00:15:54
    answer for a few seconds but then my
  • 00:15:57
    mindfulness and my awareness now is high
  • 00:15:59
    enough cuz I've practiced this long
  • 00:16:00
    enough that I could see
  • 00:16:03
    that
  • 00:16:05
    actually that's not who I really believe
  • 00:16:08
    I am who I really believe I am is the
  • 00:16:12
    one perceiving this body and this mind
  • 00:16:15
    and these
  • 00:16:16
    Sensations I'm like a point back there
  • 00:16:19
    somewhere right like um it's kind of
  • 00:16:22
    like you know the lens of a camera I'm
  • 00:16:24
    that lens of the camera back there but
  • 00:16:26
    then what I also noticed is that that's
  • 00:16:28
    that's what that's part of my thought
  • 00:16:29
    stream I'm a lens back there I'm a point
  • 00:16:32
    back there somewhere on which everything
  • 00:16:34
    is converging what is
  • 00:16:37
    that that's a thought am I a thought is
  • 00:16:41
    that what I am no I'm the perceiver of
  • 00:16:44
    the thought but who's that who's the
  • 00:16:46
    perceiver of the
  • 00:16:49
    thought and when I got there my mind
  • 00:16:52
    expanded again I had another mini
  • 00:16:54
    insight and um this one was new to me
  • 00:16:58
    I've never had this one
  • 00:16:59
    before but I got a very tangible
  • 00:17:03
    conscious sense that I quote unquote I
  • 00:17:07
    this thing I call I Leo is just a
  • 00:17:11
    belief and that this this thing that I
  • 00:17:14
    think I am which is this body these
  • 00:17:15
    Sensations these feelings um you know
  • 00:17:18
    the feelings in my mouth the feelings in
  • 00:17:19
    my mind all this stuff that feels so
  • 00:17:21
    solid and real and cohesive that uh in a
  • 00:17:24
    sense what that is is that's an
  • 00:17:26
    arbitrary designation that has been made
  • 00:17:28
    made by
  • 00:17:31
    um not even myself I actually traced it
  • 00:17:34
    back in my mind I started wondering like
  • 00:17:36
    oh what if it's like society and what if
  • 00:17:40
    that's like my my parents and everybody
  • 00:17:42
    around me who just kept pointing at me
  • 00:17:43
    and saying hey this is you Leo you and I
  • 00:17:46
    just kind of bought into it and accepted
  • 00:17:48
    it because I didn't know any better and
  • 00:17:50
    I traced it back all the way to like my
  • 00:17:53
    earliest childhood memories and then I
  • 00:17:55
    get I got this
  • 00:17:56
    conscious sense this my mind open
  • 00:17:58
    opening up and saying oh
  • 00:18:00
    [ __ ] what if this um identification that
  • 00:18:04
    I have with this phenomenon happening
  • 00:18:06
    right here is just a rather arbitrary uh
  • 00:18:09
    partition of the whole it's like you
  • 00:18:13
    know you take a large pizza and you cut
  • 00:18:15
    out One Little slice and you say that's
  • 00:18:17
    it I'm that
  • 00:18:18
    slice but what if that was an arbitrary
  • 00:18:20
    slice what if you were like the whole
  • 00:18:22
    thing before it was sliced up so I saw
  • 00:18:24
    that actually the social conditioning
  • 00:18:26
    was there inside me and I really saw the
  • 00:18:28
    social conditioning and what that did is
  • 00:18:29
    that that just kind of like expanded my
  • 00:18:31
    mind even further and also it focused it
  • 00:18:34
    in even more so by this point I'm
  • 00:18:36
    sitting there and it's a really intense
  • 00:18:37
    meditation so I'm like I'm really
  • 00:18:39
    focused my mind is buzzing it's
  • 00:18:41
    vibrating inside that's how it feels
  • 00:18:43
    it's like like
  • 00:18:45
    that
  • 00:18:47
    um and then what happens is a really
  • 00:18:49
    remarkable thing which is I get a real
  • 00:18:53
    genuine honest
  • 00:18:55
    sense that I don't know who I am
  • 00:18:59
    now this sounds
  • 00:19:01
    simple you might think like well you
  • 00:19:04
    know Leo I can just sit there and kind
  • 00:19:05
    of get a sense that I don't know who I
  • 00:19:06
    am I can just kind of like you know
  • 00:19:09
    consider different theories like well
  • 00:19:11
    what if I'm in The Matrix or what if I'm
  • 00:19:14
    a computer simulation or what if I'm
  • 00:19:16
    something
  • 00:19:17
    else that's not what I mean here what I
  • 00:19:19
    mean here is I got a honest real [ __ ]
  • 00:19:23
    honest um sense of like
  • 00:19:26
    [ __ ] I'm walking around thinking I'm
  • 00:19:29
    this phenomenon happening here but I can
  • 00:19:33
    see how that's arbitrary like I can
  • 00:19:35
    actually see that now how that could be
  • 00:19:37
    arbitrary and what that did that that
  • 00:19:39
    expanded my mind even
  • 00:19:40
    further and it got me asking in my mind
  • 00:19:43
    the question of like who the [ __ ] am I I
  • 00:19:47
    don't know I really don't
  • 00:19:50
    know and this is a difficult state to
  • 00:19:53
    get to this state of true not knowing
  • 00:19:56
    and it turns out to be very critical for
  • 00:19:59
    um doing this work because you actually
  • 00:20:03
    um you cannot progress forward most of
  • 00:20:07
    the time in self-inquiry because your
  • 00:20:09
    mind thinks it knows who you already are
  • 00:20:12
    it's kind of like that slot is already
  • 00:20:14
    occupied you know your cup is already
  • 00:20:16
    full um I believe in Zen they tell you
  • 00:20:18
    that if your cup is already full you got
  • 00:20:20
    to empty your cup first before they can
  • 00:20:23
    uh before a zen master can uh can train
  • 00:20:26
    it right fill it with more knowledge or
  • 00:20:28
    new insights you can't fill a cup that's
  • 00:20:30
    already full so that's the problem
  • 00:20:32
    that's going on there so you actually
  • 00:20:33
    need to empty your cup and that's what
  • 00:20:35
    happened here is that my cup truly got
  • 00:20:39
    emptied um don't underestimate how
  • 00:20:42
    difficult this is to actually do in
  • 00:20:43
    practice with your Consciousness to get
  • 00:20:46
    that traction to actually empty your cup
  • 00:20:50
    but that happened to
  • 00:20:51
    me and um and then what happened is that
  • 00:20:54
    it started to seem plausible to me
  • 00:20:56
    actually that I I could be something
  • 00:20:59
    that's not physical and also not
  • 00:21:03
    human just it became a possibility right
  • 00:21:06
    I was open to it the mind was very
  • 00:21:10
    open and then what happened is that I
  • 00:21:12
    looked back out at the
  • 00:21:14
    trees looked at the trees again from the
  • 00:21:17
    stones on the ground and I started
  • 00:21:19
    wondering who am I really like a real
  • 00:21:23
    sense of
  • 00:21:24
    wonder and what the Mind started doing
  • 00:21:27
    and at this point I'm on total autopilot
  • 00:21:29
    pretty much like I'm not even meditating
  • 00:21:32
    it's like the meditation is doing me as
  • 00:21:34
    they say um like I'm just totally
  • 00:21:37
    focused lasered in um like you probably
  • 00:21:40
    can't imagine um unless you've done a
  • 00:21:42
    lot of meditating so I'm really focused
  • 00:21:44
    in and I'm wondering who could I really
  • 00:21:46
    be and then you know ideas start popping
  • 00:21:48
    up in my mind like well maybe I could be
  • 00:21:51
    that thing or this thing or that or some
  • 00:21:53
    idea I had but you know as that's
  • 00:21:55
    happening I'm tracking the thought
  • 00:21:57
    stream and I'm seeing that the thought
  • 00:21:59
    stream is not me because I've got
  • 00:22:01
    mindfulness now over the thought stream
  • 00:22:04
    and I've kind of gone meta and I can see
  • 00:22:06
    the thoughts but I can see that the
  • 00:22:07
    thoughts have no truth or substance to
  • 00:22:10
    them they're just you know they're just
  • 00:22:12
    sounds in the head or in the mind or
  • 00:22:14
    images in the mind so I'm seeing that um
  • 00:22:18
    and then what I get is I get the answer
  • 00:22:20
    that pops up what if I'm
  • 00:22:25
    omnipresent and as soon as that pop pops
  • 00:22:27
    up I have a really big
  • 00:22:29
    Insight um and this is where the
  • 00:22:31
    enlightenment
  • 00:22:32
    Dawns uh because what happens is an
  • 00:22:35
    amazing thing I actually then get a
  • 00:22:37
    sense it doesn't just become a thought
  • 00:22:40
    so the thought what if I'm omnipresent
  • 00:22:42
    it goes I see the fact that it's a
  • 00:22:44
    thought I let that go but then actually
  • 00:22:46
    I get the the real conscious traction
  • 00:22:49
    that I could be omnipresent and then
  • 00:22:52
    what happens is I kind of become
  • 00:22:55
    omnipresent and what do I mean by
  • 00:22:57
    omnipresent um
  • 00:23:00
    the best way to explain it is you know
  • 00:23:02
    our standard model is that who you think
  • 00:23:04
    you are is like a camera moving through
  • 00:23:06
    the world right the camera turns and it
  • 00:23:08
    looks around um well imagine an
  • 00:23:11
    alternative model for how reality is
  • 00:23:13
    structured imagine you're not a camera
  • 00:23:15
    anymore but what you are is you are uh
  • 00:23:18
    you are space
  • 00:23:21
    itself imagine if space was uh designed
  • 00:23:24
    in such a way that it was instantly
  • 00:23:26
    conscious and aware of whatever particle
  • 00:23:29
    was occupying
  • 00:23:31
    space so you would not be the particles
  • 00:23:34
    you would be the space and you would be
  • 00:23:35
    distributed
  • 00:23:37
    evenly everywhere through space Not Just
  • 00:23:40
    centered at a point the way a camera is
  • 00:23:43
    right so imagine a three-dimensional
  • 00:23:47
    camera not a camera that looks out like
  • 00:23:49
    this in a in a cone but a camera that
  • 00:23:52
    just looks out in 360 degrees and this
  • 00:23:54
    camera is positioned everywhere and
  • 00:23:57
    anywhere
  • 00:23:59
    kind of freaky so um so that's what I
  • 00:24:02
    got is I got I got a sense of that right
  • 00:24:04
    and what happens is that this um this
  • 00:24:06
    just this this moment of
  • 00:24:09
    like
  • 00:24:11
    complete silence complete
  • 00:24:15
    peace washes over
  • 00:24:17
    me my mind is still super laser focused
  • 00:24:21
    my brain is just buzzing it's just
  • 00:24:23
    buzzing with tension um my awareness is
  • 00:24:26
    just kind of like expanding and zooming
  • 00:24:28
    out
  • 00:24:29
    and what happens is that that flash that
  • 00:24:31
    lightning bolt kind of hit to the to the
  • 00:24:33
    head and then what happens is that um
  • 00:24:35
    the best way I can describe it is that
  • 00:24:37
    my my visual field it it balances out
  • 00:24:41
    and
  • 00:24:42
    equalizes so your typical visual field
  • 00:24:46
    it's what I call unbalanced in the sense
  • 00:24:48
    that we put all the emphasis and
  • 00:24:49
    priority here everything is coming here
  • 00:24:54
    right to the camera everything is
  • 00:24:56
    converging on the lens well what I got a
  • 00:24:58
    sense of is like a d convergence right
  • 00:25:02
    everything just kind of stood in its
  • 00:25:05
    place exactly where it is as though the
  • 00:25:07
    camera went from a a cone shape to a
  • 00:25:11
    360° um sphere and I kind of just
  • 00:25:16
    became everything in my
  • 00:25:20
    awareness I became the trees I became
  • 00:25:23
    the the clouds the the the ground and
  • 00:25:26
    everything um and everything everything
  • 00:25:28
    just started to stand very still just
  • 00:25:34
    like and uh there was this figure ground
  • 00:25:37
    reversal as this happened right as the
  • 00:25:39
    camera cone transitioned into a sphere
  • 00:25:42
    there was this figure ground reversal um
  • 00:25:45
    and
  • 00:25:46
    uh I don't know it just felt like this
  • 00:25:49
    balancing out it felt like finally
  • 00:25:51
    everything was balanced and then my
  • 00:25:53
    awareness just popped and I got this
  • 00:25:55
    real tangible sense of omnipresence like
  • 00:25:57
    I was everywhere so
  • 00:26:00
    imagine uh you know what they say about
  • 00:26:02
    God God is supposed to be omnipresent
  • 00:26:04
    well that's what you get here uh
  • 00:26:07
    everything becomes very very still all
  • 00:26:10
    the frustration and tension in my body
  • 00:26:12
    that was there as I was meditating I was
  • 00:26:15
    probably meditating for 30 minutes at
  • 00:26:16
    this point um uh you know there's aches
  • 00:26:19
    and pains and weird things going on when
  • 00:26:21
    you're sitting cross-legged um but all
  • 00:26:23
    that tension just went away all the
  • 00:26:25
    frustration all the mental noise went
  • 00:26:27
    away
  • 00:26:29
    and just
  • 00:26:30
    peace uh and
  • 00:26:35
    absolute Bliss washes over me just a
  • 00:26:39
    blanket of Happiness it's like the Bliss
  • 00:26:42
    of being perfectly
  • 00:26:44
    awake perfectly clear-minded it's this
  • 00:26:48
    childlike happiness where you're just
  • 00:26:51
    savoring the joy of existence itself
  • 00:26:54
    because you have become existence itself
  • 00:26:56
    and you need nothing more and and
  • 00:26:58
    everything is perfect in the
  • 00:27:00
    moment and I got my first real true
  • 00:27:03
    sense of what they call the absolute
  • 00:27:08
    now speakers like eart tole talk about
  • 00:27:12
    uh being in the present moment you
  • 00:27:14
    probably heard that phrase a lot gets
  • 00:27:16
    used a lot these days being in the
  • 00:27:17
    present moment The Power of Now that
  • 00:27:19
    kind of stuff well this is what they're
  • 00:27:20
    talking about the problem is that most
  • 00:27:23
    people 99.9% of people have no idea what
  • 00:27:27
    being in the present moment actually
  • 00:27:28
    means when a Zen master or a yogi or a
  • 00:27:31
    Carle tell you uh about the absolute now
  • 00:27:35
    the absolute now is just like uh is
  • 00:27:38
    amazing it's like a a Heavenly um a
  • 00:27:41
    Heavenly sense of presence it's not just
  • 00:27:43
    this normal sense of oh I got to be here
  • 00:27:45
    now and not be thinking about some
  • 00:27:47
    [ __ ] um that's going to be happening
  • 00:27:49
    to me tomorrow no the absolute now is
  • 00:27:53
    like [ __ ] um it's like you feel like
  • 00:27:56
    you're God looking at in on himself
  • 00:27:59
    that's what the absolute now feels like
  • 00:28:02
    um it's it's it's remarkable words
  • 00:28:05
    really don't do it justice um and you're
  • 00:28:07
    not going to be able to think your way
  • 00:28:09
    to this state you have to actually uh
  • 00:28:11
    get that conscious traction and get
  • 00:28:14
    there um and the other thing that I
  • 00:28:18
    really remember that was very uh Vivid
  • 00:28:20
    for me in fact the most remarkable thing
  • 00:28:22
    about this experience was that I became
  • 00:28:24
    totally
  • 00:28:25
    Lucid I like this word lucid
  • 00:28:29
    it's like I could sense and be aware of
  • 00:28:32
    everything in my uh in my field of
  • 00:28:36
    awareness uh like every leaf on the tree
  • 00:28:39
    all the trees in the forest all the
  • 00:28:41
    grass all the birds all the sounds all
  • 00:28:43
    the thoughts
  • 00:28:45
    everything in fact when I say that
  • 00:28:47
    I became silent everything became silent
  • 00:28:51
    I don't mean that my thoughts became
  • 00:28:53
    silent in fact what was really
  • 00:28:55
    remarkable for me is that the thoughts
  • 00:28:56
    were coming out very fast it was like a
  • 00:28:59
    machine gun just like a series of
  • 00:29:03
    bullets like this thoughts upon thoughts
  • 00:29:06
    right thinking about this whole
  • 00:29:07
    experience so thoughts like holy [ __ ]
  • 00:29:09
    like what's going on oh my God this you
  • 00:29:11
    know all these thoughts are coming up
  • 00:29:13
    but what's very fascinating is that the
  • 00:29:16
    thought stream and me we got separated
  • 00:29:21
    so to speak so the thoughts were kind of
  • 00:29:24
    just like being themselves and seeing
  • 00:29:27
    themselves and I was no longer
  • 00:29:29
    identified with them and I was very very
  • 00:29:33
    conscious of what a thought is in this
  • 00:29:36
    moment and this to me was one of the
  • 00:29:38
    biggest insights that I got because if
  • 00:29:41
    you're doing the self-inquiry work like
  • 00:29:42
    I have for the last year and a half um
  • 00:29:45
    one of the real tricky questions you're
  • 00:29:47
    going to have to answer for yourself is
  • 00:29:48
    what is a thought
  • 00:29:52
    really it's a lot trickier to answer
  • 00:29:54
    than you might
  • 00:29:55
    think um and here here I got a real look
  • 00:30:00
    at every thought as it was arising and
  • 00:30:02
    dying off and the next one was coming up
  • 00:30:04
    just like the stream of thoughts and
  • 00:30:05
    also gaps between thoughts and I was
  • 00:30:07
    kind of looking at them and I wasn't
  • 00:30:09
    stuck inside them anymore and I was
  • 00:30:11
    perfectly conscious of what each thought
  • 00:30:13
    was and what that is is that the thought
  • 00:30:15
    just is
  • 00:30:17
    itself the phenomenon of having a
  • 00:30:19
    thought is the entire substance of the
  • 00:30:23
    thought that's a huge Insight right
  • 00:30:27
    there that's a huge hint for you if
  • 00:30:30
    you're doing this work if you can latch
  • 00:30:32
    on to that that the phenomenon of the
  • 00:30:35
    thought is all that a thought actually
  • 00:30:37
    is and nothing
  • 00:30:39
    more and that there's nothing else
  • 00:30:41
    behind it that there has no meaning to
  • 00:30:43
    it inherently other than its phenomenal
  • 00:30:46
    nature um that's huge because what does
  • 00:30:50
    that allow you to do that allows you
  • 00:30:52
    finally to pull yourself out of the
  • 00:30:55
    content of the thought and see it as
  • 00:30:57
    just
  • 00:30:58
    um an
  • 00:31:00
    audible or a a visual um
  • 00:31:05
    phenomenon that's happening to you in
  • 00:31:07
    the present moment takes all the meaning
  • 00:31:10
    strips all the meaning and significance
  • 00:31:11
    out of the content of the
  • 00:31:12
    thought so that happened to me and it
  • 00:31:15
    also felt like my my awareness I didn't
  • 00:31:18
    feel like I was totally like gone I
  • 00:31:20
    still felt like a sense of self um and
  • 00:31:23
    my thoughts were still talking about
  • 00:31:24
    myself as I was sitting there but
  • 00:31:28
    what happened is you know that point
  • 00:31:30
    that I said that I thought that I was I
  • 00:31:31
    was kind of like sitting you know we
  • 00:31:32
    usually think of ourselves as being
  • 00:31:33
    behind the eyes like eyes and nose back
  • 00:31:36
    there inside the head um that's right
  • 00:31:39
    now where you think that you
  • 00:31:41
    live that point kind of moved and it
  • 00:31:45
    kind of like hovered about a foot above
  • 00:31:47
    and a foot behind my head so it's almost
  • 00:31:49
    like I was kind of like looking at the
  • 00:31:50
    whole
  • 00:31:51
    scene while at the same time being kind
  • 00:31:53
    of
  • 00:31:54
    omnipresent and my thought stream was
  • 00:31:56
    kind of like going this way
  • 00:31:59
    um very interesting in my mind I just
  • 00:32:02
    kind of represent the thought stream is
  • 00:32:03
    going this way doesn't actually mean
  • 00:32:05
    that that's how a thought stream
  • 00:32:08
    goes um it's kind of like a little bit
  • 00:32:10
    of a metaphor
  • 00:32:12
    there but that was my
  • 00:32:15
    moment and I I was able to see reality
  • 00:32:19
    for what it really is I was able to kind
  • 00:32:21
    of like be
  • 00:32:24
    reality and I sat there for a good 20 30
  • 00:32:28
    minutes in this state just with a huge
  • 00:32:33
    smile on my face just complete happiness
  • 00:32:35
    and Bliss it was like heaven right um it
  • 00:32:38
    was the the like the the highest joy and
  • 00:32:43
    this is another Insight that I took away
  • 00:32:44
    from this is that the highest Joy is
  • 00:32:46
    just being perfectly Lucid in the
  • 00:32:49
    present moment when you're completely
  • 00:32:52
    awake completely aware You Feel Complete
  • 00:32:56
    there's nothing more you need you don't
  • 00:32:57
    need need anything else to be happy you
  • 00:32:59
    are you are completely full it's like
  • 00:33:03
    you're full of yourself so to speak but
  • 00:33:06
    in a very different way than we normally
  • 00:33:08
    say um and so I sat there and then what
  • 00:33:12
    started happening is I started wondering
  • 00:33:13
    of course you know well is this it is
  • 00:33:15
    this Enlightenment have I made it um I
  • 00:33:18
    sure hope I do I sure hope I
  • 00:33:21
    did um and so I started wondering that
  • 00:33:24
    but
  • 00:33:24
    also I had the intuitive sense that this
  • 00:33:27
    isn't
  • 00:33:29
    it I started to suspect that this is
  • 00:33:31
    just a peak
  • 00:33:32
    experience um it certainly felt like a
  • 00:33:34
    huge
  • 00:33:35
    breakthrough but I started to suspect
  • 00:33:38
    like man this is going to probably pass
  • 00:33:41
    from everything I know about
  • 00:33:41
    Enlightenment this is probably going to
  • 00:33:42
    pass it's not going to be
  • 00:33:44
    permanent
  • 00:33:46
    um and I started kind of worrying about
  • 00:33:48
    that and I really wanted it to be real
  • 00:33:49
    really wanted it to be permanent um so I
  • 00:33:52
    just kind of sat with it and just see
  • 00:33:53
    where it was going to take me as I was
  • 00:33:56
    sitting there for the next 30 to 60
  • 00:33:58
    minutes just kind of Basking in that uh
  • 00:34:03
    Lucidity uh the sun was Now setting the
  • 00:34:06
    clouds had parted the rain had stopped
  • 00:34:09
    uh everything looked green and wet and
  • 00:34:11
    beautiful it seemed like the colors were
  • 00:34:13
    extra bright and
  • 00:34:17
    Vivid and like you had God Rays you know
  • 00:34:21
    those God rays that you see in the
  • 00:34:22
    pictures um shining through the clouds
  • 00:34:24
    it's just like this beautiful almost
  • 00:34:26
    perfect like I couldn't have
  • 00:34:28
    engineered this scene better um it was
  • 00:34:31
    just amazing there was even a deer that
  • 00:34:33
    ran through the uh through the Meto a
  • 00:34:36
    bit later like an hour later while I was
  • 00:34:39
    still sitting there um so it was really
  • 00:34:41
    like the perfect moment but after about
  • 00:34:44
    90 minutes the effect did wear
  • 00:34:47
    off um I lost that sense of touch with
  • 00:34:51
    omnipresence kind of moved back into the
  • 00:34:54
    uh the cone shape of your typical camera
  • 00:34:58
    not that 360 view um but you know I
  • 00:35:02
    still had that good Buzz that good
  • 00:35:03
    feeling of calm and peace and I felt
  • 00:35:06
    like I had some insights that I took
  • 00:35:08
    away from this
  • 00:35:10
    experience what I did later that night
  • 00:35:12
    is I actually went and reported it to uh
  • 00:35:15
    the Zen master leading the retreat and
  • 00:35:17
    he has like 40 years of experience um
  • 00:35:19
    here so he knows what's going on so I
  • 00:35:22
    explain this experience to him and he he
  • 00:35:24
    laughs at me and he says oh I know what
  • 00:35:27
    you're talking about
  • 00:35:28
    what you got there is you got a glimpse
  • 00:35:32
    of a few hairs of the ox's
  • 00:35:37
    tail a glimpse of a few hairs of the
  • 00:35:40
    ox's tail now what does that mean uh
  • 00:35:43
    that's actually a there's a there's this
  • 00:35:46
    ancient Zen metaphor that they use for
  • 00:35:49
    enlightenment and they actually have
  • 00:35:51
    this diagram with 10 pictures they're
  • 00:35:53
    called the ox hering
  • 00:35:55
    pictures um and this represents your
  • 00:35:58
    path towards complete Enlightenment and
  • 00:36:00
    there's many stages 10 of them so the
  • 00:36:03
    first stage is um that you're just kind
  • 00:36:06
    of it's a guy walking around in a field
  • 00:36:09
    completely unaware this is your typical
  • 00:36:11
    person who has no knowledge of
  • 00:36:13
    Enlightenment then the next picture is
  • 00:36:16
    the man is walking through and he looks
  • 00:36:18
    at the sand or at the mud and he sees
  • 00:36:20
    some Footprints and he gets Curious by
  • 00:36:24
    the
  • 00:36:24
    footprints that's him learning about
  • 00:36:27
    enlightenment then the next picture is
  • 00:36:29
    he's tracking the footprints through the
  • 00:36:31
    forest looking for the mystical
  • 00:36:35
    Ox um so that's when you're really on
  • 00:36:37
    track with this Enlightenment process
  • 00:36:39
    that's kind of where I am right now
  • 00:36:41
    where I have been for the last year and
  • 00:36:42
    a
  • 00:36:43
    half the next picture is the one that
  • 00:36:47
    this guy referred to which is a picture
  • 00:36:49
    of the ox going around a corner behind a
  • 00:36:52
    tree and all that the man sees as he's
  • 00:36:55
    looking up from the footprints is he
  • 00:36:57
    sees the hair um like the ox's tail
  • 00:37:01
    sticking out from behind the tree so he
  • 00:37:03
    catches a glimpse of the
  • 00:37:06
    tail and then after that there's you
  • 00:37:08
    know further stages where you actually
  • 00:37:09
    catch the ox you sit on top of the ox
  • 00:37:12
    you ride the ox home and
  • 00:37:15
    Etc um I'm not going to explain all that
  • 00:37:18
    here actually I'm going to shoot a whole
  • 00:37:19
    video on that so don't worry I'll shoot
  • 00:37:20
    one in the future about all the tenox
  • 00:37:22
    pictures but um the point here is that
  • 00:37:25
    what he told me is I didn't even see the
  • 00:37:28
    tail all I saw was a few hairs on the
  • 00:37:32
    tail um and I said to him oh man so you
  • 00:37:35
    mean I I only saw the tail and he says
  • 00:37:38
    no you didn't see the tail you saw a few
  • 00:37:40
    hairs on the
  • 00:37:42
    tail and he kind of smiled at me um and
  • 00:37:46
    laughed um and in my mind I'm thinking
  • 00:37:49
    like man I thought I got the whole tail
  • 00:37:51
    I I got the whole ax and he's like no
  • 00:37:53
    you just got a little hair and so in my
  • 00:37:55
    mind I was kind of bummed out I'm
  • 00:37:56
    thinking like oh [ __ ] man I thought I
  • 00:37:58
    got more of it but then also it was
  • 00:38:01
    great news because that means that [ __ ]
  • 00:38:04
    if I saw that little and it was such a
  • 00:38:07
    powerful experience how [ __ ] powerful
  • 00:38:11
    must the real thing be when you're
  • 00:38:13
    actually riding that aux
  • 00:38:15
    home what the [ __ ] could that be like
  • 00:38:20
    incredible incredible it um it staggers
  • 00:38:24
    the
  • 00:38:25
    imagination makes me kind of emotional
  • 00:38:27
    thinking about
  • 00:38:29
    it uh
  • 00:38:31
    so yeah so that was my experience now
  • 00:38:34
    even though the experience has passed
  • 00:38:37
    and I'm not in that state
  • 00:38:39
    anymore uh the biggest takeaway that I
  • 00:38:43
    think I left with it was like a residue
  • 00:38:47
    that still left in my mind I got a real
  • 00:38:50
    look at what thoughts are that was
  • 00:38:52
    really big the other thing that happened
  • 00:38:54
    for me is of course I just kind of got a
  • 00:38:55
    proof of concept that these techniques
  • 00:38:57
    actually work that there is some cool
  • 00:38:59
    [ __ ] experience out there that you've
  • 00:39:01
    never had before in your life um and
  • 00:39:03
    it's left my mind like permanently
  • 00:39:05
    expanded not enlightened but permanently
  • 00:39:08
    expanded in fact right now I'm standing
  • 00:39:10
    here with you and I'm um I'm shooting
  • 00:39:13
    this video but right now my mind is like
  • 00:39:16
    it's a little zoomed out and I can feel
  • 00:39:18
    like I'm I'm half meditating right now
  • 00:39:20
    as I'm standing here talking to you
  • 00:39:22
    which has never happened to me before
  • 00:39:23
    when I'm shooting a video um which is
  • 00:39:27
    which is really [ __ ]
  • 00:39:29
    cool and uh and also yesterday a few
  • 00:39:33
    days after the retreat was over um I was
  • 00:39:37
    able to meditate and the meditation I'm
  • 00:39:39
    able to do now my daily meditation it's
  • 00:39:42
    so much more powerful it feels like
  • 00:39:44
    meditation on steroids it's like
  • 00:39:45
    cheating I can meditate for 50 minutes
  • 00:39:47
    and it feels like 5 minutes um and I was
  • 00:39:51
    almost able to recreate that entire
  • 00:39:53
    experience again
  • 00:39:54
    yesterday um I was so close so I'm
  • 00:39:57
    feeling like I'm kind of like really at
  • 00:39:59
    the brink now and it feels like
  • 00:40:03
    um that that experience that I had a few
  • 00:40:06
    days ago at the retreat um that even
  • 00:40:08
    though it didn't make me permanently
  • 00:40:09
    lighten it just like it did jostle some
  • 00:40:12
    things around and it's like it's so much
  • 00:40:14
    easier now I feel like I'm so mindful I
  • 00:40:17
    was walking around yesterday doing stuff
  • 00:40:19
    running errands and I felt like I was
  • 00:40:21
    meditating while I was running errands
  • 00:40:23
    without even trying to meditate um I'm
  • 00:40:25
    feeling that right now as I'm speaking
  • 00:40:27
    it's incredible it's really cool feeling
  • 00:40:30
    um
  • 00:40:31
    but not even a fraction of what
  • 00:40:34
    enlightenment would actually be
  • 00:40:37
    like so that's my experience hopefully
  • 00:40:41
    this uh motivates you a little bit to
  • 00:40:44
    pursue some of this stuff yourself
  • 00:40:45
    hopefully it kind of convinces you that
  • 00:40:46
    there's something real out there for you
  • 00:40:48
    that this is not just
  • 00:40:50
    philosophy um you know the real reason
  • 00:40:53
    for this uh video here I didn't want to
  • 00:40:55
    just talk about some Awakening
  • 00:40:58
    experience that I had like some people
  • 00:40:59
    do um I wanted to take you step by step
  • 00:41:02
    through the process that I used in the
  • 00:41:05
    moment to get me there in fact after
  • 00:41:07
    this experience was over I actually sat
  • 00:41:09
    down on my computer and rode every step
  • 00:41:11
    out of my thinking process because I
  • 00:41:13
    wanted to make sure that I actually got
  • 00:41:14
    it down correctly and I didn't miss
  • 00:41:17
    anything I think it's pretty accurate at
  • 00:41:19
    this point um and so basically um what
  • 00:41:25
    you have here is you have a little
  • 00:41:27
    example of how to do proper self
  • 00:41:30
    inquiry right so if you're doing self-
  • 00:41:33
    inquiry at home or you're following my
  • 00:41:34
    other enlightment videos then uh this
  • 00:41:37
    thing here will show you maybe some of
  • 00:41:40
    the pitfalls that you're making maybe go
  • 00:41:42
    back and rewatch this again go through
  • 00:41:44
    every step and actually maybe take some
  • 00:41:46
    notes and take a look at where are you
  • 00:41:49
    going through this process but then
  • 00:41:50
    getting lost in your thought stream or
  • 00:41:52
    not seeing thoughts for what they really
  • 00:41:55
    are or um
  • 00:41:58
    uh maybe you're not at all going through
  • 00:42:00
    this kind of process right maybe you're
  • 00:42:02
    just thinking about stuff logically or
  • 00:42:04
    philosophically um and of course that
  • 00:42:05
    doesn't work you need to be getting that
  • 00:42:07
    conscious traction which I was uh
  • 00:42:09
    stressing a lot at each
  • 00:42:11
    step um the other reason I wanted to
  • 00:42:14
    talk about this is because you know
  • 00:42:15
    sometimes people criticize me and say
  • 00:42:16
    well Leo if you're not enlightened how
  • 00:42:17
    come you're shooting these Enlightenment
  • 00:42:18
    videos and talking about Enlightenment
  • 00:42:20
    as though you are enlightened um what if
  • 00:42:22
    you're wrong or whatever um uh I hear
  • 00:42:26
    you that's a perhaps a valid concern but
  • 00:42:28
    um also you got to realize that I am
  • 00:42:31
    walking this path and that in fact this
  • 00:42:34
    is how I want it to be I could have held
  • 00:42:37
    off to shoot videos about Enlightenment
  • 00:42:39
    for a couple of years until after I did
  • 00:42:41
    become enlightened um but I felt like
  • 00:42:43
    that would be weaker and that would um
  • 00:42:48
    actually not be as persuasive because
  • 00:42:51
    when you can see a person who's just an
  • 00:42:54
    an ordinary normal person who's not a
  • 00:42:55
    yogi or a zen master or [ __ ] egar
  • 00:42:58
    tole when you can see a normal person
  • 00:43:00
    start from ground zero and kind of work
  • 00:43:02
    his way up and through the process and
  • 00:43:04
    then you can actually see the results of
  • 00:43:05
    that process actually materialize on
  • 00:43:08
    film um that has a very different
  • 00:43:12
    psychological effect on you just in
  • 00:43:14
    terms of persuading and convincing you
  • 00:43:15
    of pursuing Enlightenment then if you
  • 00:43:17
    just go to some Yogi and he just tells
  • 00:43:19
    you all these you know lofty High
  • 00:43:22
    Consciousness ideas which you know
  • 00:43:24
    nothing of what to do with um also as
  • 00:43:27
    I'm going through this process I'm
  • 00:43:28
    seeing all the obstacles right and I'm
  • 00:43:30
    trying to report all these obstacles
  • 00:43:31
    because I can easily see that if I
  • 00:43:33
    become enlightened then I spend 20 years
  • 00:43:35
    deepening my Enlightenment and then I
  • 00:43:37
    teach you 20 years later um yes I'll
  • 00:43:39
    know very much about Enlightenment at
  • 00:43:40
    that point much more so than I do now
  • 00:43:42
    except the problem is that I will have
  • 00:43:43
    forgotten this whole journey to a large
  • 00:43:45
    extent and what I'll be teaching you is
  • 00:43:47
    some very Advanced [ __ ] that's going to
  • 00:43:49
    be completely disconnected from your
  • 00:43:50
    practical life and you're going to be
  • 00:43:52
    unmoved by it which is exactly why Zen
  • 00:43:55
    Masters and yogis are so in
  • 00:43:57
    effective um it's also why even someone
  • 00:44:01
    like eart tole I think is ineffective um
  • 00:44:05
    because uh in a sense like he's not
  • 00:44:07
    actually these people are not actually
  • 00:44:09
    taking through through the process right
  • 00:44:10
    you got to see the nasty gritty bits of
  • 00:44:13
    this process like your face in the mud
  • 00:44:16
    you doubting yourself you taking that
  • 00:44:18
    leap of
  • 00:44:19
    faith because you don't know what the
  • 00:44:21
    [ __ ] you're going to find out there with
  • 00:44:23
    Enlightenment you think I don't doubt
  • 00:44:25
    myself you think on this journey of a
  • 00:44:27
    year and a half while I'm running a
  • 00:44:28
    business and doing all this other stuff
  • 00:44:29
    in my life and I'm so [ __ ] busy that
  • 00:44:32
    um it never occurs to me like oh [ __ ]
  • 00:44:34
    what if all this is stupid and pointless
  • 00:44:36
    and
  • 00:44:37
    wrong you don't think that thought
  • 00:44:39
    crosses my mind in the same way that it
  • 00:44:40
    does yours it does right and I want to
  • 00:44:44
    show you that I'm working through that
  • 00:44:48
    doubt and you're G to have to work
  • 00:44:48
    through that doubt too just because I'm
  • 00:44:50
    enlightened I can be enlightened like
  • 00:44:51
    the
  • 00:44:52
    Buddha uh won't help you with your
  • 00:44:54
    doubts your doubts will still all be
  • 00:44:57
    there you're going to have to go through
  • 00:44:58
    this entire process you're not going to
  • 00:45:00
    know what you're going to find out there
  • 00:45:01
    even if I tell you it won't help you
  • 00:45:04
    won't help you mind Enlightenment won't
  • 00:45:05
    help you really at
  • 00:45:07
    all um maybe it'll convince you a little
  • 00:45:09
    bit more but that's about
  • 00:45:11
    it um and also you know one thing I want
  • 00:45:15
    to do more with um with my videos you
  • 00:45:18
    know sometimes I come off a little cocky
  • 00:45:19
    as though I'm here and I'm like Moses
  • 00:45:21
    passing down the Ten Commandments to you
  • 00:45:23
    of personal development and that's
  • 00:45:25
    really not um
  • 00:45:27
    my intention the reason I take that
  • 00:45:29
    cocky striding attitude sometimes is
  • 00:45:31
    because I like it when someone talks
  • 00:45:33
    direct to me and they don't waffle
  • 00:45:35
    around and [ __ ] around so I do kind
  • 00:45:37
    of take that direct approach with my uh
  • 00:45:39
    style to personal development and the
  • 00:45:41
    delivery method but also I want to show
  • 00:45:44
    you like the fact that I'm working
  • 00:45:46
    through this stuff constantly I don't
  • 00:45:48
    have anything set in stone even the non-
  • 00:45:50
    enlightenment stuff that I share with
  • 00:45:52
    you that's stuff I'm always learning and
  • 00:45:54
    thinking about sometimes these are fresh
  • 00:45:56
    insights that I've just had the day
  • 00:45:57
    before and now I'm sharing them with you
  • 00:45:59
    and they're not even fully baked yet
  • 00:46:01
    sometimes when I'm speaking in the
  • 00:46:02
    middle of the video I have a new insight
  • 00:46:03
    and I share it with you right here and I
  • 00:46:05
    haven't even thought it all through yet
  • 00:46:08
    um to me this is kind of like raw
  • 00:46:10
    personal development right um I don't
  • 00:46:12
    really want to pretty it up and um you
  • 00:46:15
    know like package it too much um I want
  • 00:46:19
    it to be kind of raw the way that you
  • 00:46:21
    would do it if you were doing it so I
  • 00:46:23
    want to give you a little bit of more
  • 00:46:24
    that behind the scenes look at how this
  • 00:46:27
    stuff works not with just Enlightenment
  • 00:46:30
    um but with any aspect of your life that
  • 00:46:33
    you want to improve relationships
  • 00:46:35
    business career whatever right um I
  • 00:46:39
    really think that that's one aspect of
  • 00:46:41
    personal development that it's been
  • 00:46:42
    missing um from prior teachers not to
  • 00:46:45
    say that they haven't done great
  • 00:46:48
    work um so hopefully you get a little
  • 00:46:50
    bit of taste of that here right I'm
  • 00:46:53
    walking the path if you're walking the
  • 00:46:55
    path
  • 00:46:57
    good if you have doubts good if you have
  • 00:47:00
    doubts about me good you don't need to
  • 00:47:01
    believe in me there's nothing about me
  • 00:47:03
    to believe I'm sharing ideas with you
  • 00:47:06
    the whole intention of this Channel and
  • 00:47:09
    as.org is that I'm sharing some ideas
  • 00:47:11
    with you um I don't provide any evidence
  • 00:47:14
    really I don't provide you studies I
  • 00:47:17
    don't give you double blind studies and
  • 00:47:19
    you know peer-reviewed Journal articles
  • 00:47:21
    or any scientific stuff um what I do is
  • 00:47:24
    I come up here and say hey here's some
  • 00:47:26
    [ __ ] I found useful in my life why don't
  • 00:47:29
    you take this idea open your mind up use
  • 00:47:31
    it try it out and see if it works well
  • 00:47:33
    for you and if it does keep going and if
  • 00:47:35
    it doesn't then throw it away and try
  • 00:47:37
    something
  • 00:47:38
    else right so even though I might come
  • 00:47:41
    off a little cocky and a little bit like
  • 00:47:43
    hey this is the only way to do it that's
  • 00:47:45
    not actually what I
  • 00:47:47
    mean um there are many ways to do it you
  • 00:47:50
    got to experiment around with this stuff
  • 00:47:51
    and this stuff is a dirty business right
  • 00:47:54
    um there's a lot of struggle here it's
  • 00:47:56
    not easy a lot of struggle goes into
  • 00:47:58
    this developing yourself is going to be
  • 00:48:01
    the hardest thing you do in your
  • 00:48:04
    life and the last thing I'll mention is
  • 00:48:07
    that um I had a lot of other important
  • 00:48:10
    insights and lessons from this Retreat
  • 00:48:14
    that I'm going to be sharing with you um
  • 00:48:16
    over the next few months as I release
  • 00:48:17
    more videos there's going to be at least
  • 00:48:19
    eight more videos on different insights
  • 00:48:21
    that I had that are going to be very
  • 00:48:22
    helpful for increasing your ability to
  • 00:48:24
    be mindful for increasing
  • 00:48:27
    how you meditate and improving that for
  • 00:48:30
    helping you with uh moving towards
  • 00:48:32
    Enlightenment and not getting stuck in
  • 00:48:34
    all the different traps that
  • 00:48:36
    exist all right so you have something to
  • 00:48:39
    look forward to I'm Leo I'm signing off
  • 00:48:43
    please leave me your comments down below
  • 00:48:46
    please click the like button share this
  • 00:48:48
    video with a friend and come check out
  • 00:48:51
    actualized.org right here I've got a
  • 00:48:53
    free newsletter there I'm releasing new
  • 00:48:54
    videos on a weekly basis like I said um
  • 00:48:56
    there's also my life purpose course
  • 00:48:58
    which I recently released uh will show
  • 00:49:01
    you how to find your life purpose and
  • 00:49:03
    we'll show you how to develop your dream
  • 00:49:06
    career if you're interested in that sort
  • 00:49:07
    of thing check that out there's other
  • 00:49:09
    resources there so go ahead and check it
  • 00:49:11
    out it's all free or most of it is um
  • 00:49:15
    and I'm excited to continue going deeper
  • 00:49:19
    with
  • 00:49:20
    you what I'm starting to notice more and
  • 00:49:23
    more is that um to live the kind of life
  • 00:49:26
    you want you have have to learn the
  • 00:49:28
    psychological laws that are governing
  • 00:49:31
    your life success and fulfillment these
  • 00:49:34
    things are governed by psychological
  • 00:49:35
    laws just like the physical world is
  • 00:49:38
    governed by physical laws right and if
  • 00:49:40
    you don't understand physics you're not
  • 00:49:42
    going to be able to fly to the moon and
  • 00:49:43
    if you don't understand your own
  • 00:49:45
    psychology then you're not going to be
  • 00:49:47
    able to create the kind of life that you
  • 00:49:48
    want and your life is going to be
  • 00:49:50
    miserable and annoying and frustrating
  • 00:49:52
    and much much less than it could be on
  • 00:49:55
    the other hand if you do Master these
  • 00:49:56
    psychological principles then um the
  • 00:49:59
    level of profundity how profound your
  • 00:50:02
    life will be
  • 00:50:05
    uh will be Stratus it'll be so it'll be
  • 00:50:08
    so huge that um there's nothing I could
  • 00:50:11
    even say right now that would convey the
  • 00:50:13
    concept to
  • 00:50:16
    you
  • 00:50:18
    it is outside of your imagination how
  • 00:50:22
    profound your life could be if you
  • 00:50:24
    seriously start applying these
  • 00:50:25
    principles over the weeks and months and
  • 00:50:28
    years you'll start to see huge
  • 00:50:31
    results and you know I've been shooting
  • 00:50:34
    these videos for what is it now a year
  • 00:50:38
    and a half two years something like that
  • 00:50:39
    I'm starting to see more and more
  • 00:50:40
    comments from people that are following
  • 00:50:42
    actualized.org and using all this
  • 00:50:44
    content the people that actually use
  • 00:50:46
    this content and apply it I'm starting
  • 00:50:48
    to get feedback like through email and
  • 00:50:50
    through YouTube comments and stuff that
  • 00:50:53
    um they're seeing results and I'm really
  • 00:50:55
    happy that they're seeing those results
  • 00:50:57
    um because um that shows me that there's
  • 00:51:01
    people out there who are actually
  • 00:51:01
    applying it
  • 00:51:04
    right and uh that could be you if you
  • 00:51:07
    want that could be you you could be
  • 00:51:09
    seeing those results takes work takes
  • 00:51:11
    some patience but you have to have that
  • 00:51:15
    vision of what you're shooting for and I
  • 00:51:16
    hope you're shooting for an
  • 00:51:17
    extraordinary
  • 00:51:18
    life all right sign up and I'll see you
  • 00:51:21
    soon
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  • Enlightenment
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