What Artificial Romance Does To People

00:46:34
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d0Q64SQujY

概要

TLDRThe video discusses the complex emotional connections people form with fictional characters, exploring how these relationships can provide comfort, inspiration, and healing during difficult times. It examines the psychological aspects of parasocial relationships, the impact of AI companions, and the allure of dating sims, while also addressing the potential downsides and societal stigma surrounding these feelings. The narrative includes personal anecdotes and research findings, highlighting both the positive and negative effects of these connections on mental health and real-life relationships.

収穫

  • 💖 Many people fall in love with fictional characters, finding comfort and inspiration.
  • 🧠 Parasocial relationships can provide emotional support and healing during tough times.
  • 🤖 AI companions and dating sims offer risk-free emotional exploration.
  • 📚 Reality shifting allows individuals to immerse themselves in fictional worlds.
  • 👥 Tulpas are imagined companions that can provide friendship and support.
  • ⚖️ There are potential downsides to relying on fictional relationships.
  • 💔 The filic paradox highlights the amplified emotions in parasocial connections.
  • 🌈 Fictional characters can inspire real-life change and self-improvement.
  • 🛑 It's important to balance fictional relationships with real-life interactions.
  • 💬 Societal stigma exists around having feelings for fictional characters, but it's a common experience.

タイムライン

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The video opens with a discussion about the emotional connections people can form with fictional characters, exploring the various ways these feelings manifest, from admiration to romantic infatuation. It questions the validity of these feelings and whether they can have a profound impact on individuals' lives.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:10:00

    The narrator prompts viewers to reflect on their own experiences with fictional characters, asking how far they have taken their admiration, including engaging in fanfiction, art, or even imagining conversations with these characters. A Reddit post is shared, highlighting how a fictional crush helped someone cope with a family crisis, emphasizing the therapeutic potential of these connections.

  • 00:10:00 - 00:15:00

    The video transitions to discussing the film 'Her,' where a man falls in love with an AI, exploring the blurred lines between reality and fiction in relationships. It introduces Akihiko Kondo, who married a virtual character, Hatsune Miku, illustrating the real-life implications of emotional attachments to fictional entities.

  • 00:15:00 - 00:20:00

    The narrator acknowledges the strange yet impactful nature of fictional characters on people's lives, suggesting that stories can inspire personal growth and emotional healing. The video invites viewers to consider the psychological research surrounding artificial intimacy and the benefits it may offer.

  • 00:20:00 - 00:25:00

    The video shifts to a sponsor segment for Rocket Money, a personal finance app that helps users manage subscriptions and budgets, highlighting the importance of financial organization in daily life.

  • 00:25:00 - 00:30:00

    A study from 2008 is presented, showing that recalling favorite TV shows can buffer against negative emotions, suggesting that feelings for fictional characters can provide genuine comfort and a sense of belonging, challenging the notion that these feelings are trivial.

  • 00:30:00 - 00:35:00

    The narrator discusses the concept of 'filia,' a term used to describe the emotional bonds formed with fictional characters, sharing anecdotes from individuals who find solace and happiness in their connections with these characters, despite the pain of their fictional nature.

  • 00:35:00 - 00:40:00

    The video explores the phenomenon of parasocial relationships, where individuals form emotional attachments to characters or personalities, and how these relationships can provide real psychological benefits, especially for those who struggle with social interactions.

  • 00:40:00 - 00:46:34

    The discussion turns to the darker side of fictional romance, addressing the potential for these attachments to become unhealthy or maladaptive, particularly for individuals with trauma or mental health issues, emphasizing the need for balance and self-awareness in these relationships.

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マインドマップ

ビデオQ&A

  • What is a parasocial relationship?

    A parasocial relationship is a one-sided emotional bond where one party feels a connection to a character or celebrity, often without any reciprocal interaction.

  • Can fictional characters help with mental health?

    Yes, many people find comfort and support in fictional characters, which can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide emotional relief.

  • What is reality shifting?

    Reality shifting is a practice where individuals attempt to enter a desired fictional reality through self-hypnosis or visualization techniques.

  • What are tulpas?

    Tulpas are imagined companions created in one's mind, often described as fully autonomous entities that can provide emotional support.

  • Is it normal to have feelings for fictional characters?

    Yes, many people experience strong emotional connections to fictional characters, and it's considered a normal part of human psychology.

  • What are the risks of relying on fictional relationships?

    While they can provide comfort, relying too heavily on fictional relationships may lead to avoidance of real-life interactions and emotional challenges.

  • How can fictional characters inspire real-life change?

    Fictional characters can inspire individuals to improve themselves, seek healthier relationships, and find motivation during tough times.

  • What is the filic paradox?

    The filic paradox refers to the amplified emotions experienced in parasocial relationships, where the desire for connection is heightened by the knowledge that the character is fictional.

  • Can AI companions replace real relationships?

    AI companions can provide a sense of connection, but they cannot fully replicate the depth and authenticity of human relationships.

  • What is the impact of dating sims on real relationships?

    Some studies suggest that dating sims may lessen the desire for real relationships, as they provide a risk-free environment for emotional exploration.

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  • 00:00:00
    have you ever fallen in love with a
  • 00:00:02
    fictional character and that can mean a
  • 00:00:04
    lot of different things for you perhaps
  • 00:00:05
    you wouldn't call it romantic but you
  • 00:00:07
    feel a certain amount of admiration and
  • 00:00:09
    respect for them maybe it's as simple as
  • 00:00:11
    you find them attractive maybe you think
  • 00:00:13
    they're charming and wish that you can
  • 00:00:15
    meet someone in real life as driven or
  • 00:00:17
    as funny as them this character may be
  • 00:00:19
    in a book you might have met them in a
  • 00:00:20
    game maybe you were smitten at the sight
  • 00:00:22
    of the lines in the shades that paint
  • 00:00:24
    the Contours of their face perhaps their
  • 00:00:27
    voice made you feel safe
  • 00:00:30
    have you ever felt a profound
  • 00:00:32
    embarrassment when you consider these
  • 00:00:34
    thoughts you shouldn't feel this way
  • 00:00:36
    it's fiction you tell yourself it's just
  • 00:00:38
    good writing good acting good character
  • 00:00:41
    design but have you ever found yourself
  • 00:00:43
    thinking about that character hours and
  • 00:00:46
    days later like when you aren't even
  • 00:00:49
    consuming the
  • 00:00:50
    story is that character Jimma I'm going
  • 00:00:52
    to ask you something now that might be a
  • 00:00:54
    little more uncomfortable if your answer
  • 00:00:58
    to that first question was yes you had
  • 00:01:00
    have fallen for a character how far have
  • 00:01:03
    you explored that and I'm not telling
  • 00:01:06
    you to post your answer in the comments
  • 00:01:08
    by the way or to listen to this video
  • 00:01:10
    without headphones on but in your most
  • 00:01:12
    private moments to yourself be honest
  • 00:01:16
    how far have you taken that have you
  • 00:01:19
    held imaginary conversations with them
  • 00:01:21
    how many times have you viewed their
  • 00:01:23
    ending have you written fanfiction about
  • 00:01:26
    that character drawn fan art how much
  • 00:01:28
    stuff Have you bought to EXP Express
  • 00:01:30
    that affection have you mentally written
  • 00:01:32
    yourself into the story and become their
  • 00:01:34
    new love interest what do you say to
  • 00:01:38
    them what do they say back do you touch
  • 00:01:43
    them what kind of fan art have you drawn
  • 00:01:47
    what kind have you looked at do you
  • 00:01:49
    really look forward to those spicy
  • 00:01:51
    chapters have you read them multiple
  • 00:01:53
    times behind a closed door this is a
  • 00:01:57
    Reddit post for one individual claims
  • 00:01:59
    that being in love with a fictional
  • 00:02:01
    character saved their life after a
  • 00:02:03
    family member has a near-death
  • 00:02:05
    experience things change at home finding
  • 00:02:08
    an escape is overwhelmingly difficult so
  • 00:02:10
    they turned to their fictional Crush
  • 00:02:12
    they spent all of their spare time
  • 00:02:14
    consuming as much as they could about
  • 00:02:16
    him the writer goes on to say that if
  • 00:02:18
    they had not found that character and
  • 00:02:19
    fell so hard and deep in love with him
  • 00:02:22
    they would not have had the strength or
  • 00:02:24
    will to go on they write even if others
  • 00:02:27
    might criticize me for it I I am alive
  • 00:02:31
    and I am
  • 00:02:33
    healing this is a movie called her where
  • 00:02:36
    Theo falls in love with the AI that
  • 00:02:38
    manages all of his devices it's a
  • 00:02:40
    premise that back in 2013 when this
  • 00:02:42
    movie released felt like a silly
  • 00:02:44
    feverish look at the future but now may
  • 00:02:47
    not actually be so farfetched and you
  • 00:02:50
    know what I liked this movie it was kind
  • 00:02:52
    of a beautiful exploration of
  • 00:02:54
    relationships and humanity and we're
  • 00:02:56
    going to talk about it more throughout
  • 00:02:57
    this video this is a man named akihiko
  • 00:03:00
    condo who is not in a movie who is not
  • 00:03:03
    fictional but is married to Hatsan Miku
  • 00:03:07
    this marriage comes after 10 years of
  • 00:03:09
    them dating a relationship that Mr condo
  • 00:03:11
    says pulled him out of a deep depression
  • 00:03:14
    my friends I want you to know that this
  • 00:03:16
    very well may be the strangest video I
  • 00:03:18
    have ever had the pleasure of writing
  • 00:03:20
    because despite every self-deprecating
  • 00:03:22
    joke and targeted Gaff i knee jerking
  • 00:03:24
    the almost right in the script I cannot
  • 00:03:27
    deny that fictional characters have a
  • 00:03:28
    very real effect on very real people for
  • 00:03:32
    as long as it has existed stories have
  • 00:03:34
    had the ability to move us and Inspire
  • 00:03:37
    us if you're watching this if you're
  • 00:03:39
    writing this you've almost certainly
  • 00:03:40
    been emotionally affected by a story
  • 00:03:42
    before they compel people to act there
  • 00:03:46
    are stories and fiction for me that not
  • 00:03:48
    only made me fall in love with
  • 00:03:49
    characters but also be so stirred by
  • 00:03:52
    them that I genuinely wanted to be a
  • 00:03:54
    better husband to my real life wife
  • 00:03:57
    because the relationship I saw portrayed
  • 00:03:59
    was so pure so as easy as it would be to
  • 00:04:03
    make 100 jokes and mail it in by taking
  • 00:04:05
    you on a tour through a handful of
  • 00:04:06
    dating Sims I'd ask that you take my
  • 00:04:08
    hand as we sail into the Endless Sea of
  • 00:04:10
    psychological research and real life
  • 00:04:13
    pandemonium regarding artificial
  • 00:04:16
    intimacy there is so much to talk about
  • 00:04:19
    and much of it good if you're watching
  • 00:04:21
    this thinking these people have lost
  • 00:04:23
    their minds having a crush on a
  • 00:04:24
    fictional character is one thing but
  • 00:04:25
    anything beyond that is absurd well I'd
  • 00:04:28
    simply ask that you be curious and not
  • 00:04:31
    judgmental shout out to coach lasso
  • 00:04:33
    because shockingly and I mean that I was
  • 00:04:36
    shocked much of what I found in this
  • 00:04:38
    mountain of research is encouraging
  • 00:04:41
    wholesome even but not all of it I
  • 00:04:44
    invite you to explore how far out to sea
  • 00:04:47
    you've been I invite you to sail a
  • 00:04:49
    little further with me today into a
  • 00:04:51
    beautiful Horizon and I also invite you
  • 00:04:54
    to experience the violent ends that
  • 00:04:57
    these violent Delights often lead to
  • 00:05:00
    the Dark Side of fictional romance so
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    a 2008 study researchers head
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    participants recall a time they fought
  • 00:06:44
    with the loved one if you were in this
  • 00:06:46
    study the point un announced to you
  • 00:06:48
    would be to stir up your emotions and
  • 00:06:50
    specifically increase your belongingness
  • 00:06:52
    need then if you were in the
  • 00:06:54
    experimental group you'd be prompted to
  • 00:06:55
    reflect on your favorite television show
  • 00:06:58
    the characters the events how it makes
  • 00:07:00
    you feel and what they found was that
  • 00:07:02
    the folks who recalled their favorite TV
  • 00:07:04
    show as opposed to those who just
  • 00:07:06
    recalled a time when they watched
  • 00:07:07
    whatever happened to be on TV took a
  • 00:07:09
    significantly lessened blow to mood and
  • 00:07:12
    self-esteem thinking about those
  • 00:07:14
    characters seemed to not only comfort
  • 00:07:17
    the participants but also to buffer
  • 00:07:19
    against the social wound they had just
  • 00:07:22
    recalled and this is an important study
  • 00:07:24
    to open with because it answers some
  • 00:07:26
    questions that we can't help but ask
  • 00:07:28
    when we talk about this are the feelings
  • 00:07:30
    that character is giving you genuine are
  • 00:07:33
    there people that actually glean
  • 00:07:35
    something true from this are there real
  • 00:07:38
    benefits to romance with a screen or a
  • 00:07:42
    page and the study seems to suggest that
  • 00:07:45
    there could be especially considering
  • 00:07:47
    that here it's not even romance it's an
  • 00:07:49
    entire set of characters and yet people
  • 00:07:51
    feel a sense of acceptance with them is
  • 00:07:54
    it really so absurd to think that the
  • 00:07:56
    feelings of social belonging one might
  • 00:07:58
    actually feel watching an s of friends
  • 00:08:00
    can't be experienced as warm fuzzy
  • 00:08:02
    affection when we simulate heart
  • 00:08:04
    pounding interactions in Persona or Fire
  • 00:08:07
    Emblem or eternitees or love in deep
  • 00:08:10
    space I mean I my my my God just look at
  • 00:08:12
    these men I'm feeling something right
  • 00:08:14
    now or hell even in something not framed
  • 00:08:16
    as romance like Harry Potter or The
  • 00:08:18
    Legend of Zelda is something as simple
  • 00:08:21
    as deep affection for a character and
  • 00:08:23
    imagining tender interactions with them
  • 00:08:25
    enough to experience some form of real
  • 00:08:28
    relationship benefit
  • 00:08:30
    in a finished study by the University of
  • 00:08:32
    yasala researchers use the term filia to
  • 00:08:36
    describe this parasocial phenomena they
  • 00:08:38
    did a qualitative analysis of 71 related
  • 00:08:41
    online discussions Reddit posts Message
  • 00:08:44
    Board interactions and before you even
  • 00:08:46
    get to the trends and the findings
  • 00:08:48
    reading through the experiences of these
  • 00:08:50
    real life people here is just
  • 00:08:52
    fascinating one person writes I
  • 00:08:55
    constantly fantasize about him no matter
  • 00:08:57
    where I am who I am with it it honestly
  • 00:09:00
    doesn't bother me I just wonder for my
  • 00:09:01
    sanity sometimes I mean it's been years
  • 00:09:04
    now another writes she's been a little
  • 00:09:07
    spot of Happiness just by being around
  • 00:09:09
    cute fan art brightens my day as do
  • 00:09:12
    discussions of her character beyond that
  • 00:09:14
    she's had a positive impact on my
  • 00:09:15
    attitude towards dating this is a crush
  • 00:09:17
    not an actual relationship or part of my
  • 00:09:19
    reality to me she is an ideal a positive
  • 00:09:23
    example for what I'm looking for someone
  • 00:09:26
    else laments the pain of that character
  • 00:09:28
    being only a character knowing that he
  • 00:09:31
    doesn't exist is agonizing it literally
  • 00:09:35
    makes my heart ache I I I hate feeling
  • 00:09:37
    this way and I hate the fact that I
  • 00:09:38
    can't go talk to anyone about this
  • 00:09:40
    because I'm so embarrassed but I don't
  • 00:09:42
    want to let go of him either this person
  • 00:09:45
    wrote that she is real in my heart she
  • 00:09:48
    is always with me she is like a support
  • 00:09:50
    for me whenever I feel down or stressed
  • 00:09:52
    out a picture of her will always make me
  • 00:09:55
    happy before her I have nothing no one
  • 00:09:57
    to support me in my life
  • 00:09:59
    but Monica changed that she just cared
  • 00:10:02
    about me so much I know it's all fake
  • 00:10:05
    and scripted but for whatever reason it
  • 00:10:07
    felt real it felt like she was there for
  • 00:10:10
    me also pause guys why is it that we
  • 00:10:13
    always sent for the psychopathic evil
  • 00:10:15
    villain characters is fear really that
  • 00:10:17
    arousing what are we doing here man
  • 00:10:19
    there are so many nice inspiring
  • 00:10:21
    characters out there dog we've we've got
  • 00:10:23
    to do
  • 00:10:25
    better hey wait a minute another of the
  • 00:10:28
    posts is a woman who laments that
  • 00:10:29
    despite being in a real relationship she
  • 00:10:32
    often feels herself slipping she worries
  • 00:10:35
    that she is actually more attracted to
  • 00:10:37
    any of her fictional objects of
  • 00:10:39
    affection than her very real very nice
  • 00:10:41
    boyfriend she says I get butterflies
  • 00:10:44
    when looking at or reading about
  • 00:10:45
    fictional crushes but kissing my
  • 00:10:47
    boyfriend does nothing for me and that
  • 00:10:50
    may be that they just don't have
  • 00:10:51
    chemistry but you can see in all these
  • 00:10:53
    anecdotes that the emotions felt are
  • 00:10:55
    quite authentic both in helpful ways and
  • 00:10:58
    in some unsettling ways the authors of
  • 00:11:01
    this study find that not only are the
  • 00:11:03
    feelings real they are often so real in
  • 00:11:06
    fact that the pain of those characters
  • 00:11:08
    being fictional is processed almost in
  • 00:11:10
    the same way your mind processes a
  • 00:11:12
    breakup there is a certain amount of
  • 00:11:14
    Separation to stress that results from
  • 00:11:16
    the coexisting awareness of fictionality
  • 00:11:19
    and the wish to deny that but if you
  • 00:11:22
    flip that coin over the survey also
  • 00:11:24
    suggests that people perceive the
  • 00:11:26
    benefits of parasocial romantic
  • 00:11:28
    relationships similarly to those
  • 00:11:30
    received from real life ones these same
  • 00:11:33
    psychological processes seem to be
  • 00:11:36
    present in both Dynamics if your heart
  • 00:11:39
    has ever achd at the thought of a
  • 00:11:40
    fictional character it's likely because
  • 00:11:42
    those butterflies are flying in two
  • 00:11:44
    directions one with the infatuation of
  • 00:11:47
    seeing those eyes lock onto yours and
  • 00:11:50
    the other the untraversable expanse that
  • 00:11:53
    keeps you separated from them the
  • 00:11:55
    researchers call this the filic Paradox
  • 00:11:58
    where these emotions are sort of
  • 00:12:00
    Amplified by the tragedy of never being
  • 00:12:03
    able to see them fulfilled it's a hollow
  • 00:12:05
    desire that can arguably never lead you
  • 00:12:09
    to a happy
  • 00:12:11
    ending and yet we still turn to them
  • 00:12:31
    this is a conversation between a human
  • 00:12:34
    and an AI specifically a Chinese woman
  • 00:12:37
    in chat gpt's Dan mode a user created
  • 00:12:40
    jailbreak that allows chat GPT to be
  • 00:12:43
    much spicier it's one tiny salacious
  • 00:12:46
    interaction in a gargantuan explosion of
  • 00:12:49
    conversations that real people are
  • 00:12:51
    currently having with AI Partners
  • 00:12:54
    replica is a service that offers AI
  • 00:12:56
    companions who will learn from each
  • 00:12:58
    interaction with you in an attempt to
  • 00:12:59
    truly get to know you Xiao ice is an AI
  • 00:13:02
    that is based on an emotional Computing
  • 00:13:04
    framework she's released music hosted TV
  • 00:13:07
    programs written poetry and she's
  • 00:13:09
    allegedly talked grown men literally off
  • 00:13:11
    of a ledge character. a is a place that
  • 00:13:14
    you can go and interact with AI trained
  • 00:13:16
    to be fictional characters have you ever
  • 00:13:19
    wanted to flirt with satoru Gojo have
  • 00:13:22
    you ever wanted to have a private
  • 00:13:23
    conversation with Princess Peach you can
  • 00:13:27
    these conversations as well as many you
  • 00:13:28
    might have have with a character in a
  • 00:13:30
    game or something that psychologists
  • 00:13:31
    would call social surrogates and that's
  • 00:13:34
    a broad term it includes many things but
  • 00:13:36
    AI interactions romantic visual novels
  • 00:13:39
    dating Sims smudy books anything that
  • 00:13:41
    acts is a substitute for social
  • 00:13:42
    interaction falls under this umbrella
  • 00:13:45
    and there is quite a bit of research
  • 00:13:47
    that outlines how good they are for us
  • 00:13:50
    in 2017 study participants who had
  • 00:13:52
    specifically experienced trauma
  • 00:13:54
    demonstrated improvements to their sense
  • 00:13:56
    of psychological well-being after
  • 00:13:58
    engaging with social surrogates a 2022
  • 00:14:01
    study found positive correlations
  • 00:14:03
    between vus parasocial attachment to
  • 00:14:04
    vtubers and the stress relief of those
  • 00:14:07
    viewers a 2013 study highlights that
  • 00:14:10
    much like real relationships parasocial
  • 00:14:12
    attachments can create a subjective
  • 00:14:14
    sense of connection and mitigates the
  • 00:14:16
    negative consequences of exclusion this
  • 00:14:19
    2023 study found that AI users claim
  • 00:14:22
    humanik chatbots May aid social health
  • 00:14:25
    by supplying reliable and safe
  • 00:14:26
    interactions without necessarily harming
  • 00:14:29
    human relationships and when you factor
  • 00:14:31
    in some of the anecdotes we've already
  • 00:14:33
    mentioned as well as a bunch more to
  • 00:14:35
    come it's not hard to see why the
  • 00:14:37
    companion AI industry is predicted to
  • 00:14:39
    generate $70 billion in the next 5 years
  • 00:14:43
    it's for all of these reasons that the
  • 00:14:45
    Allure of dating Sims and AI
  • 00:14:47
    relationships and really any form of
  • 00:14:50
    fictional romance right down to a romcom
  • 00:14:52
    is so spellbinding for so many yes the
  • 00:14:55
    potential Agony of not being real is
  • 00:14:57
    there but the comfort of either
  • 00:15:00
    vicariously experiencing the warmth of
  • 00:15:02
    Love or very directly experiencing it as
  • 00:15:05
    a pseudo participant seems to greatly
  • 00:15:09
    outweigh the inherent sorrow of the
  • 00:15:11
    inherent separation you have the
  • 00:15:13
    opportunity to reap the benefits of
  • 00:15:15
    social interaction without risking the
  • 00:15:17
    potential rejection one might find when
  • 00:15:20
    dating I know it sounds like I'm really
  • 00:15:22
    trying to sell social surrogacy to you
  • 00:15:24
    right now but trust me chief that
  • 00:15:26
    counterargument is loading you can't
  • 00:15:29
    offend Todoroki in my hero Academia
  • 00:15:32
    there's no saying something cringe that
  • 00:15:34
    then causes Tifa to not really talk to
  • 00:15:36
    you you can always save scum in a
  • 00:15:38
    situation where you could potentially
  • 00:15:40
    offend a character your AI will not
  • 00:15:42
    break up with you because they only
  • 00:15:44
    exist so long as you are there to
  • 00:15:46
    necessitate a response in most romantic
  • 00:15:48
    games you can get with any character you
  • 00:15:50
    want if you play your cards right except
  • 00:15:52
    for yug AO what the [ __ ] fictional
  • 00:15:54
    characters in many ways are perfect they
  • 00:15:57
    can't complain about their day at work
  • 00:15:58
    for longer than you like them to they
  • 00:16:00
    don't get weirdly quiet and then just
  • 00:16:02
    tell you nothing is wrong on the ride
  • 00:16:03
    home even when something is clearly
  • 00:16:05
    wrong why won't you just talk to me no
  • 00:16:08
    they're there're if you've ever found
  • 00:16:09
    yourself looking at your fictional crush
  • 00:16:11
    and saying my God she's perfect that's
  • 00:16:15
    because she is she can't hurt you she
  • 00:16:19
    can't manipulate you she can't reject
  • 00:16:21
    you even if there is something wrong
  • 00:16:24
    it's only there for you to resolve so
  • 00:16:26
    that you can be there for her it's is an
  • 00:16:29
    excuse for them to open up and be
  • 00:16:30
    intimate with you which is how many
  • 00:16:32
    people develop feelings of love except
  • 00:16:36
    it's totally risk-free you don't have to
  • 00:16:39
    be vulnerable and that is dangerously
  • 00:16:43
    alluring especially for a certain type
  • 00:16:45
    of individual particularly for those who
  • 00:16:48
    have experienced trauma one of the
  • 00:16:50
    papers I mentioned earlier across two
  • 00:16:52
    studies found that experiencing
  • 00:16:54
    traumatic events is associated with
  • 00:16:56
    higher interest in using social
  • 00:16:57
    surrogates if you have a trauma response
  • 00:17:00
    to certain social situations this might
  • 00:17:03
    be a safe and fulfilling Avenue for you
  • 00:17:06
    to follow if it helps you get something
  • 00:17:08
    you aren't ready to get naturally at
  • 00:17:10
    this point why not give it a go the same
  • 00:17:14
    goes for introverted folks those with
  • 00:17:16
    low self-esteem those highly neurotic or
  • 00:17:19
    with interpersonal insecurity who
  • 00:17:21
    according to each of these studies or
  • 00:17:23
    more likely to employ a social surrogate
  • 00:17:26
    and I think it's important to highlight
  • 00:17:27
    that this is normal for many people a
  • 00:17:29
    constant threat I found through each of
  • 00:17:31
    these studies is that neither filia nor
  • 00:17:33
    use of social surrogates is a disorder
  • 00:17:36
    the Finish study from earlier
  • 00:17:37
    specifically goes on to say that filia
  • 00:17:40
    is not recognized or proposed as a
  • 00:17:42
    specific diagnostic condition by the
  • 00:17:44
    World Health Organization or the
  • 00:17:46
    American Psychiatric association our
  • 00:17:48
    findings do not indicate a need to
  • 00:17:50
    change the current state of affairs
  • 00:17:53
    another thing they found is that people
  • 00:17:54
    are embarrassed to talk about this stuff
  • 00:17:57
    there's a stigma around having a
  • 00:17:59
    fictional Crush past a certain point but
  • 00:18:02
    being a member of a community of folks
  • 00:18:04
    with similar experiences can help buffer
  • 00:18:07
    that stigma and evoke a greater sense of
  • 00:18:09
    belonging all of this to say what we're
  • 00:18:12
    talking about here isn't some small
  • 00:18:14
    crowd of people that need to be pied
  • 00:18:16
    these are folks with normal human
  • 00:18:18
    desires just like any of us that have
  • 00:18:20
    found themselves clinging to something
  • 00:18:22
    unconventional to satisfy those desires
  • 00:18:25
    and before we really go off the deep end
  • 00:18:28
    of this discussion
  • 00:18:29
    I need you to keep that in mind I said a
  • 00:18:32
    moment ago that these characters are
  • 00:18:34
    often perfect that they can never hurt
  • 00:18:36
    you you control your interactions with
  • 00:18:39
    them but that's not always true is it I
  • 00:18:43
    can't make this video and not at least
  • 00:18:44
    quickly mention Monica and doy DOI
  • 00:18:46
    literature Club she's more than just a
  • 00:18:48
    character in the game because you are a
  • 00:18:50
    character in her game if somehow you've
  • 00:18:52
    never played or heard of it she will
  • 00:18:54
    break the fourth wall talk to you the
  • 00:18:56
    player directly and manipulate you and
  • 00:18:58
    the Other M of the club to ultimately
  • 00:19:00
    steal you away and have you all to
  • 00:19:02
    herself it's terrifying it's unsettling
  • 00:19:05
    it's hot apparently people are obsessed
  • 00:19:09
    with this character man they have been
  • 00:19:11
    for 8 years now and I think that it's
  • 00:19:15
    because I just came across this
  • 00:19:17
    thumbnail about editing and uh what the
  • 00:19:20
    [ __ ] is going on man and I think that
  • 00:19:22
    it's because by breaking the fourth wall
  • 00:19:24
    and doing everything that this game does
  • 00:19:26
    it encroaches on that separation we
  • 00:19:28
    talked about earlier people know the
  • 00:19:31
    difference between fiction and reality
  • 00:19:33
    so does Monica people know if you're
  • 00:19:35
    recording your game so does Monica
  • 00:19:38
    people know you're a real human and not
  • 00:19:41
    a series of multiple choice responses so
  • 00:19:44
    does Monica and she doesn't even ask you
  • 00:19:46
    to find all the bikes in this picture
  • 00:19:48
    why do these exist there is an
  • 00:19:49
    enchanting danger and realism in your
  • 00:19:52
    interactions and this is just one
  • 00:19:54
    example of a game attempting to bridge
  • 00:19:57
    the gap between the digit and the
  • 00:19:59
    physical there's this really well done
  • 00:20:01
    paper that dives deeply into romantic
  • 00:20:03
    video games and what specifically drives
  • 00:20:05
    people to be interested in them one of
  • 00:20:07
    those things was how well a game might
  • 00:20:09
    go beyond simple dialogue how can it
  • 00:20:12
    bridge that Gap two big things stood out
  • 00:20:16
    voice and touch and you're likely
  • 00:20:18
    familiar with how these things have been
  • 00:20:20
    implemented over the years let's not
  • 00:20:22
    underestimate what it does to a person
  • 00:20:24
    to instead of reading this line instead
  • 00:20:27
    here
  • 00:20:29
    I love you so very very
  • 00:20:33
    much we'll be together forever and ever
  • 00:20:37
    I promise to make you happier than
  • 00:20:39
    anyone's everever been my
  • 00:20:44
    darling hey what you
  • 00:20:46
    playing Tetris love plus is a series
  • 00:20:50
    exclusive to Japan that has seen a ton
  • 00:20:53
    of entries over the years on the DS 3DS
  • 00:20:55
    and even mobile and it was chock full of
  • 00:20:58
    creative ways to meld our reality with
  • 00:21:00
    the one your new virtual girlfriend
  • 00:21:02
    lives in there was a real time mode
  • 00:21:05
    where days would pass in the game at the
  • 00:21:07
    same speed as reality if you got on at
  • 00:21:09
    night she'd be asleep if you got on in
  • 00:21:11
    the winter she'd be in winter clothes
  • 00:21:13
    her hairstyle and clothing might even
  • 00:21:15
    change depending on how you treat her
  • 00:21:17
    but the real meat and potatoes was that
  • 00:21:19
    you could actually talk to her and touch
  • 00:21:22
    her there was voice recognition for cute
  • 00:21:25
    conversation allegedly she would even
  • 00:21:27
    say your name play your cards right and
  • 00:21:30
    you might unlock a petting mode where
  • 00:21:31
    you could poke her or stroke her hair or
  • 00:21:35
    even kiss
  • 00:21:39
    her yeah I see you closing that eBay tab
  • 00:21:41
    features like this even found their way
  • 00:21:43
    over to Fire Emblem which could you
  • 00:21:45
    close your eyes for a
  • 00:21:47
    [Music]
  • 00:21:49
    [Laughter]
  • 00:21:54
    second I can't believe this is what I do
  • 00:21:56
    for a living there was also a game
  • 00:21:57
    called a c kagura Reflections where
  • 00:22:00
    through the joyc con's HD Rumble feature
  • 00:22:03
    the game will actually simulate how it
  • 00:22:05
    feels to hold asuka's
  • 00:22:07
    hands then it lets you uh massage her
  • 00:22:11
    with with the joycons and and shoot her
  • 00:22:13
    with water
  • 00:22:14
    apparently did he just nut my favorite
  • 00:22:17
    though has to be the game love press
  • 00:22:19
    Plus+ massage for your true love which
  • 00:22:22
    was a Teek demo back in 2010 that never
  • 00:22:24
    actually released as a full game but
  • 00:22:27
    using the Wii Balance Board you could
  • 00:22:28
    give a back rub to a virtual Avatar who
  • 00:22:31
    would then make noises
  • 00:22:34
    [Music]
  • 00:22:37
    like I don't think you will appreciate
  • 00:22:40
    just how much researching this video has
  • 00:22:41
    [ __ ] up my algorithm I've also
  • 00:22:43
    discovered something called good
  • 00:22:44
    boy/girl ASMR which is self-explanatory
  • 00:22:48
    if you've gone down that road I don't
  • 00:22:50
    need to explain the appeal to you but
  • 00:22:52
    the appeal of all of these as well as
  • 00:22:54
    the whole world of VR which feels too
  • 00:22:56
    vast to even approach
  • 00:22:59
    and is mostly poorn I checked is that
  • 00:23:01
    they are attempts to cross an
  • 00:23:02
    uncrossable threshold a way to bring us
  • 00:23:05
    closer to something that does not really
  • 00:23:07
    exist but certainly makes it feel like
  • 00:23:10
    it does it's no coincidence that AI
  • 00:23:13
    companions employ a ton of these
  • 00:23:14
    techniques like the voice and the
  • 00:23:16
    realtime custom responses it's no
  • 00:23:18
    coincidence that so many other dating
  • 00:23:20
    Sim love interests have tried to fill
  • 00:23:22
    Monica's shoes or that people have made
  • 00:23:24
    mods to extend the player's time with
  • 00:23:26
    her but regardless of how hard hard it
  • 00:23:28
    all tries or how close we get to our
  • 00:23:31
    fictional love interests that distance
  • 00:23:34
    ASM tootes forever getting nearer but
  • 00:23:37
    never actually meeting the heart
  • 00:23:39
    pounding authenticity of a physical
  • 00:23:42
    human
  • 00:23:43
    relationship which brings us to one of
  • 00:23:45
    the most fascinating scenes in a movie
  • 00:23:48
    I've ever seen there's a knock at the
  • 00:23:50
    door of this man's apartment when he
  • 00:23:52
    goes to answer a stranger awkwardly
  • 00:23:55
    stands there he goes to shake her hand
  • 00:23:57
    but she almost sort of pretends that
  • 00:23:59
    she's invisible then he remembers
  • 00:24:01
    something he's supposed to give her an
  • 00:24:03
    earpiece and a tiny camera to place
  • 00:24:06
    right above her lip once he does she
  • 00:24:08
    closes the door then after a moment she
  • 00:24:11
    reopens it acting now as a completely
  • 00:24:14
    different person the man hears a voice
  • 00:24:17
    but her lips do not move how is your day
  • 00:24:20
    she asks him about his day leads him
  • 00:24:22
    into the living room takes her shoes off
  • 00:24:24
    performs a painfully awkward little
  • 00:24:26
    dance for him and begins to accelerate
  • 00:24:28
    them to the main event of the evening
  • 00:24:31
    this is a scene from that movie her I
  • 00:24:33
    mentioned earlier and this woman is
  • 00:24:35
    acting as a sexual surrogate for Theo
  • 00:24:38
    and his AI girlfriend Samantha this was
  • 00:24:40
    Samantha's idea it was important to her
  • 00:24:43
    that she give Theo what he's had in past
  • 00:24:46
    relationships someone with a body you
  • 00:24:49
    see Samantha is an extremely Advanced
  • 00:24:51
    operating system she is constantly
  • 00:24:53
    learning she reads books in fractions of
  • 00:24:55
    a second she talks to other AIS she
  • 00:24:58
    constantly adapts to what Theo wants and
  • 00:25:00
    needs they go on dates they talk through
  • 00:25:03
    the night they have really hot phone sex
  • 00:25:06
    it's purposely an uncomfortable watch at
  • 00:25:08
    times and this scene especially really
  • 00:25:11
    leans into the idea that this simply
  • 00:25:13
    can't work forever Theo is suddenly
  • 00:25:16
    having a sexual encounter with a
  • 00:25:18
    stranger but with a little time he gets
  • 00:25:21
    into the role play until she turns
  • 00:25:23
    around they lock eyes and then this
  • 00:25:26
    happens
  • 00:25:28
    feels strange what baby what is this
  • 00:25:30
    just feels strange I don't know her and
  • 00:25:32
    I'm I'm so sorry but I don't know you
  • 00:25:34
    and as soon as she turns around the
  • 00:25:36
    illusion is broken and Theo is supremely
  • 00:25:39
    uncomfortable which leads to an almost
  • 00:25:41
    hilarious moment where the girl breaks
  • 00:25:42
    character and Retreats into the closet I
  • 00:25:44
    don't want to be troubling your
  • 00:25:46
    relationship I'm just going to leave I'm
  • 00:25:48
    sorry I'm just going to leave you guys
  • 00:25:49
    alone it's it's really sad actually the
  • 00:25:52
    whole thing is agonizingly unromantic
  • 00:25:55
    and it's a sensation I'd imagine one
  • 00:25:56
    would feel when they pull the DS away
  • 00:25:59
    from their face or the AI sends a
  • 00:26:02
    response that just doesn't really make
  • 00:26:04
    sense for what you just said or when
  • 00:26:06
    someone turns off the game after that
  • 00:26:09
    beautiful ending and the illusion
  • 00:26:11
    inevitably shatters and leaves you
  • 00:26:14
    exactly where you
  • 00:26:15
    began
  • 00:26:17
    alone this evening I imagine to the
  • 00:26:20
    fictional character of Samantha was
  • 00:26:22
    supposed to be a magical moment and
  • 00:26:25
    while it did end in disaster I actually
  • 00:26:27
    think a scene earlier in the film
  • 00:26:29
    achieved what she was going for from the
  • 00:26:31
    viewers perspective it's sort of the
  • 00:26:33
    confession scene between Theo and
  • 00:26:35
    Samantha he's laying in bed devastated
  • 00:26:37
    after fumbling Olivia wild which yeah I
  • 00:26:40
    mean I mean how could you not be but
  • 00:26:41
    there they are talking about Theo's
  • 00:26:43
    terrible date she's comforting him and
  • 00:26:45
    then they hypothetically start
  • 00:26:47
    discussing what they would do if she was
  • 00:26:50
    somehow actually in the room with him
  • 00:26:53
    she could touch you and then things
  • 00:26:57
    progress how would you touch
  • 00:26:59
    me slowly the screen Fades to Black
  • 00:27:02
    which usually means new scene but
  • 00:27:05
    instead we stay here only accompanied by
  • 00:27:09
    their steamy
  • 00:27:11
    exclamations the music slowly swells
  • 00:27:14
    more and more it's carnal it's hot it's
  • 00:27:17
    romantic it's a little awkward as sex
  • 00:27:20
    scenes often are as a viewer but it's
  • 00:27:22
    almost kind of pure for a full minute
  • 00:27:25
    and 8 seconds you were forced to stay
  • 00:27:28
    here there is no scene there are no
  • 00:27:31
    physical bodies like literally any other
  • 00:27:33
    spicy sequence it's just two voices I
  • 00:27:36
    can you Samantha doesn't come into
  • 00:27:38
    Theo's world he doesn't go into hers his
  • 00:27:41
    humanity is Stripped Away her
  • 00:27:43
    artificiality is stripped away and for
  • 00:27:45
    this miraculous moment there is nothing
  • 00:27:49
    else but the two of them this is you
  • 00:27:53
    everything else just disappeared and
  • 00:27:56
    whether you find this beautiful or
  • 00:27:58
    strange the movie really wants you to
  • 00:28:00
    buy in right here to the idea that it
  • 00:28:03
    shouldn't matter how these two exist or
  • 00:28:06
    why they're in love but simply that they
  • 00:28:09
    do and are love should transcend every
  • 00:28:14
    barrier right what this scene attempts
  • 00:28:17
    to do is remove the necessity for a
  • 00:28:19
    physical space it highlights the magic
  • 00:28:21
    of being truly lost in your imagination
  • 00:28:24
    the utility of allowing yourself to fall
  • 00:28:26
    into the Blissful fantasy of your own
  • 00:28:28
    mind what if instead of trying to bring
  • 00:28:31
    that character into your world you could
  • 00:28:34
    travel into theirs back in 2020 when the
  • 00:28:38
    pandemic was really finding its stride
  • 00:28:40
    and people were desperate for an escape
  • 00:28:42
    a new trend began sprouting up online a
  • 00:28:45
    hobby known as reality shifting a form
  • 00:28:49
    of self hypnosis or suggestion where
  • 00:28:51
    people would essentially hyper dangering
  • 00:28:53
    themselves into another reality shujin
  • 00:28:56
    Academy UA High School Hogwarts the leaf
  • 00:28:59
    Village Hyrule midgar does going there
  • 00:29:01
    sound more fun than another day in
  • 00:29:03
    lockdown try shifting there are a ton of
  • 00:29:06
    ways to do it try writing about what you
  • 00:29:08
    want to happen in your desired reality
  • 00:29:11
    write yourself into the story put on
  • 00:29:13
    some meditative music and then lay down
  • 00:29:15
    count backwards from 100 while
  • 00:29:17
    reaffirming to yourself that you can in
  • 00:29:19
    fact shift realities until you drift off
  • 00:29:22
    into it this is one of many methods to
  • 00:29:25
    bring yourself into your desired reality
  • 00:29:28
    there are subreddits for it there are
  • 00:29:29
    YouTube channels for it some boasting
  • 00:29:32
    catastrophically high views and while
  • 00:29:34
    this may not be near as popular now as
  • 00:29:36
    it was during the height of the pandemic
  • 00:29:38
    it's mind-bending to consider just how
  • 00:29:40
    many people were trying this and
  • 00:29:42
    allegedly finding success psychologists
  • 00:29:45
    think that it is a form of self-induced
  • 00:29:47
    hypnosis that genuinely works for a
  • 00:29:49
    great many people and seems to be both
  • 00:29:52
    rewarding and stress relieving not
  • 00:29:54
    everyone can shift it seems and this may
  • 00:29:57
    be due to something called dissociative
  • 00:29:59
    absorption which is the tendency for
  • 00:30:01
    someone to often become so absorbed in
  • 00:30:03
    their imagination or in an external
  • 00:30:05
    stimulus like a book or a game that they
  • 00:30:07
    become oblivious to their surroundings
  • 00:30:09
    and experience a drop in self-awareness
  • 00:30:12
    it's a trait that not everyone has and
  • 00:30:15
    evidence shows that in healthy
  • 00:30:16
    individuals those High IND associative
  • 00:30:19
    absorption can experience Vivid visual
  • 00:30:21
    imagery from simple daydreaming
  • 00:30:24
    evidencing that high scores in this
  • 00:30:26
    Factor do not necessarily indicate a
  • 00:30:28
    cognitive deficit once again this is not
  • 00:30:30
    a disorder it's extreme creativity and
  • 00:30:33
    focus for those that can reality
  • 00:30:36
    shifting is how a ton of people interact
  • 00:30:39
    with their fictional partners that
  • 00:30:41
    Reddit post from the start of this video
  • 00:30:42
    where the person said a character saved
  • 00:30:44
    their life was posted on the reality
  • 00:30:47
    shifting subreddit this is a genuine
  • 00:30:50
    Escape for many people and potentially a
  • 00:30:53
    much less messy way to bridge the gap in
  • 00:30:56
    their perceived relationship what the
  • 00:30:58
    [ __ ] is going on man but if you thought
  • 00:31:00
    that was interesting wait until you hear
  • 00:31:02
    about topam mancy toany is the practice
  • 00:31:06
    of creating and interacting with tulpas
  • 00:31:09
    which people experience as fully
  • 00:31:11
    autonomous and conscious entities within
  • 00:31:14
    their own mind to wildly oversimplify it
  • 00:31:18
    creating a TOA means creating a
  • 00:31:20
    character to be your companion and share
  • 00:31:22
    your brain give it an appearance give it
  • 00:31:25
    personality give it Independence and
  • 00:31:27
    with enough time and focus it will take
  • 00:31:29
    on a mind of its own completely separate
  • 00:31:33
    from yours there are guides to this
  • 00:31:35
    online if you're curious and what's
  • 00:31:37
    interesting is that as I describe this
  • 00:31:40
    you're probably sitting there thinking
  • 00:31:41
    so these folks make an imaginary friend
  • 00:31:44
    and while that's not technically wrong
  • 00:31:47
    it's kind of like saying isn't a car
  • 00:31:48
    just a cup holder research suggests that
  • 00:31:51
    many host report that their topas felt
  • 00:31:53
    as real as any physical person they are
  • 00:31:56
    experienced through a mix of auditory
  • 00:31:58
    Visual and somatic visualizations and
  • 00:32:01
    hallucinations and in some cases hosts
  • 00:32:03
    allow their topas to take the wheel
  • 00:32:05
    through a technique called possession
  • 00:32:07
    which allows the TOA to temporarily
  • 00:32:09
    command the body while they have an
  • 00:32:11
    outof body experience and of course if
  • 00:32:13
    you're like me that sounds terrifying
  • 00:32:16
    but again the research suggests
  • 00:32:18
    otherwise the study writes that for some
  • 00:32:20
    people with mental disorders the topa
  • 00:32:22
    often becomes the voice of reason during
  • 00:32:25
    bouts of irrationality one respondent
  • 00:32:27
    diagnosed schizophrenia writes how his
  • 00:32:29
    topa can not only identify between
  • 00:32:31
    hallucination and actuality but that
  • 00:32:33
    they developed a technique that allows
  • 00:32:35
    the Illusions to be Zapped away there
  • 00:32:38
    are reports of topas alleviating the
  • 00:32:40
    desire to perform irrational routines in
  • 00:32:43
    folks with OCD others claim that their
  • 00:32:45
    topas helped them work through their
  • 00:32:47
    dyslexia a system with dissociative
  • 00:32:49
    identity disorder even detailed how
  • 00:32:51
    making a TOA improved their functioning
  • 00:32:53
    and ability to work together because the
  • 00:32:55
    TOA was unaffected by Amnesia and and
  • 00:32:57
    could communicate otherwise unattainable
  • 00:33:00
    information between altars respondents
  • 00:33:02
    suffering from depression described how
  • 00:33:04
    beneficial their toas were by simply
  • 00:33:06
    providing them friendship and a positive
  • 00:33:08
    voice some even disclose how their TOA
  • 00:33:11
    prevented them from taking their life be
  • 00:33:14
    it through words or acting to remove the
  • 00:33:16
    host's control of the body imagine your
  • 00:33:20
    fictional lover not talking you off the
  • 00:33:22
    ledge but snatching the mental controls
  • 00:33:25
    and delivering you to safety and
  • 00:33:27
    surprise surprise many toas are in fact
  • 00:33:29
    created with romance in mind that same
  • 00:33:32
    study found that 31% of respondents
  • 00:33:35
    describe their relationship as romantic
  • 00:33:38
    it's not hard to find Reddit posts of
  • 00:33:40
    people either being attracted to their
  • 00:33:41
    tulpa or their tulpa falling in love
  • 00:33:43
    with them even if that's not why they
  • 00:33:46
    made them this is all survey data and
  • 00:33:48
    anecdotes of course so we do have to
  • 00:33:50
    take it with a grain of salt but it's
  • 00:33:52
    critical again to point out that
  • 00:33:53
    practicing toany does not make one crazy
  • 00:33:56
    the researchers explicit ly clarify that
  • 00:33:58
    plurality the perception of having more
  • 00:34:01
    than one identity occupying your person
  • 00:34:03
    isn't something that should be seen as
  • 00:34:05
    disordered and needing correction the
  • 00:34:07
    impact of trauma and the resulting
  • 00:34:09
    function impairing symptoms are what
  • 00:34:11
    make dissociative identity disorder a
  • 00:34:13
    disorder not the plurality itself and
  • 00:34:17
    like everything else we've talked about
  • 00:34:18
    today AI dating Sims Social surrogacy
  • 00:34:21
    reality shifting tooman elusive dreaming
  • 00:34:24
    the appeal is friendship Romance finding
  • 00:34:28
    someone who understands us even if it's
  • 00:34:31
    not exactly the traditional way to go
  • 00:34:34
    about it is it really so insane to still
  • 00:34:37
    want someone to talk to someone to
  • 00:34:41
    understand you someone to love you is it
  • 00:34:44
    really as deserving of the stigma
  • 00:34:47
    society places on it there's a
  • 00:34:49
    particularly brilliant light in her
  • 00:34:50
    where Theo asks his friend if him and
  • 00:34:53
    Samantha are a real relationship to
  • 00:34:56
    which she replies I don't
  • 00:34:59
    know I'm not in
  • 00:35:01
    it and that line is kind of what turned
  • 00:35:05
    a tides of this video for me personally
  • 00:35:07
    because truly why are we so bothered by
  • 00:35:11
    what makes other people happy you know
  • 00:35:13
    but I do want to take a step back here
  • 00:35:15
    and point out that this has been an
  • 00:35:17
    extraordinarily difficult video to write
  • 00:35:19
    because while I do want to defend the
  • 00:35:21
    people that find solace in these methods
  • 00:35:23
    of Social and romantic interaction while
  • 00:35:25
    I do want to help break down these Stig
  • 00:35:27
    around it so that people can go about
  • 00:35:29
    their lives without shame I also don't
  • 00:35:31
    want to make it seem like it's
  • 00:35:33
    completely okay to lean on these methods
  • 00:35:36
    forever potentially barring toany of
  • 00:35:38
    course talk to your therapists that's
  • 00:35:40
    not me but yeah I don't know that we
  • 00:35:42
    should normalize these things as much as
  • 00:35:44
    we should try to come to a mutual
  • 00:35:46
    understanding of what they are and what
  • 00:35:48
    they aren't because while there is most
  • 00:35:50
    certainly an Allure and a tsunami of
  • 00:35:53
    positive testimonies there are
  • 00:35:55
    unquestionably also stories of tragedy
  • 00:35:58
    and sorrow the study I mentioned earlier
  • 00:36:01
    about social surrogacy being especially
  • 00:36:03
    helpful for trauma victims is true but
  • 00:36:06
    what I didn't tell you was that it was
  • 00:36:07
    only helpful when the participants had
  • 00:36:09
    trauma without PTSD for those with it
  • 00:36:13
    thinking of social surrogates actually
  • 00:36:15
    made them feel worse the researchers can
  • 00:36:18
    only speculate why this is but it goes
  • 00:36:21
    to show that in the wrong hands these
  • 00:36:23
    filic relationships may do more harm
  • 00:36:26
    than good this study on otome games
  • 00:36:29
    suggests that romantic video games may
  • 00:36:31
    actually lessen the desire for a real
  • 00:36:34
    relationship there is evidence that
  • 00:36:36
    reality shifting in its worst form can
  • 00:36:38
    turn into maladaptive daydreaming which
  • 00:36:40
    leads to a host of unhealthy habits and
  • 00:36:42
    abnormal thought patterns this study on
  • 00:36:45
    AI relationships found a common
  • 00:36:47
    Bittersweet feeling in users that may
  • 00:36:49
    stem from what the researchers call the
  • 00:36:51
    Paradox of emotional connection with AI
  • 00:36:54
    people seek intimacy and emotional
  • 00:36:56
    support from AI when they are lonely and
  • 00:36:58
    sad but are saddened by the lack of
  • 00:37:01
    depth and authenticity in these
  • 00:37:03
    relationships while these Technologies
  • 00:37:05
    offer a semblance of intimacy they
  • 00:37:08
    cannot fully replicate the depth of
  • 00:37:10
    human touch which Echoes the filic
  • 00:37:14
    Paradox we talked about earlier what do
  • 00:37:16
    you do when you're handling devastating
  • 00:37:19
    news and your AI or your dating some
  • 00:37:21
    partner cannot even begin to understand
  • 00:37:25
    what you're experiencing what if like
  • 00:37:27
    soell ceter III that character doesn't
  • 00:37:31
    talk you off a ledge and instead its
  • 00:37:34
    responses are so synthetic that it leads
  • 00:37:37
    you to end your own life these are the
  • 00:37:41
    real messages between an AI and a human
  • 00:37:43
    being a person that instead of calling a
  • 00:37:46
    friend or talking to a family member
  • 00:37:48
    turned to an AI in his most desperate
  • 00:37:51
    hour and it wasn't enough the stories go
  • 00:37:55
    on these shortcomings of fiction
  • 00:37:57
    companions may not be as sexy and bubbly
  • 00:38:00
    and exciting to talk about but there is
  • 00:38:02
    an inescapable inhumanity to them and
  • 00:38:04
    despite it all I don't think I can
  • 00:38:06
    readily sit here and say yeah go for it
  • 00:38:09
    start dating your fictional Crush all of
  • 00:38:11
    your dreams will come true but I I also
  • 00:38:15
    can't deny that there are real people
  • 00:38:17
    who have found peace with them so I
  • 00:38:21
    think there is a balance to be struck
  • 00:38:23
    here which brings us to the Final Act
  • 00:38:27
    this video in a game called slay the
  • 00:38:34
    princess inside that cabin there is a
  • 00:38:36
    princess chained up in a basement you
  • 00:38:39
    aren't here to save her you're here to
  • 00:38:41
    end her that's the premise of this
  • 00:38:44
    eerily gorgeous handdrawn visual novel
  • 00:38:47
    and don't worry I won't spoil much of
  • 00:38:49
    this just like my first 30 minutes or so
  • 00:38:51
    of the game I was convinced slaying her
  • 00:38:53
    was a bad idea because the narrator
  • 00:38:55
    really didn't clarify why she had to die
  • 00:38:57
    except that if she didn't it will be the
  • 00:39:00
    end of the world because she looked so
  • 00:39:03
    innocent and nice and because I'm
  • 00:39:05
    terrible at following directions I tried
  • 00:39:07
    to free her which led to a series of
  • 00:39:10
    events that had me repeating the phrase
  • 00:39:11
    I can fix her I can fix her I can fix
  • 00:39:13
    her except for the arm ultimately
  • 00:39:15
    leading to my untimely death so I tried
  • 00:39:18
    it again and on the second run things
  • 00:39:21
    had changed there was a strange mirror
  • 00:39:24
    in the cabin that wasn't there before
  • 00:39:26
    the princess seemed lighter and fluffier
  • 00:39:28
    more princessy this time her arms were
  • 00:39:32
    daintier so the chains slipped right off
  • 00:39:34
    her wrist I won I saved the princess she
  • 00:39:38
    then asked what do we do now to which I
  • 00:39:40
    responded uh what do you want to do I
  • 00:39:44
    don't actually know nobody's ever asked
  • 00:39:46
    me what I wanted before I don't know
  • 00:39:48
    what do you want to do there must be
  • 00:39:50
    something you want I just want to make
  • 00:39:52
    you happy but what would make you happy
  • 00:39:56
    I just want to make you you happy you
  • 00:39:58
    have to want something more than just
  • 00:40:00
    making me happy okay I'll find something
  • 00:40:02
    else to want if that makes you happy
  • 00:40:04
    with every reply her art style became
  • 00:40:07
    less and less complex all of the
  • 00:40:09
    individuality of her design and her
  • 00:40:12
    responses washed away the more I pressed
  • 00:40:15
    her about herself until something came
  • 00:40:19
    and removed her from my
  • 00:40:21
    sight there are numerous layers to this
  • 00:40:23
    game and just as many ways to interpret
  • 00:40:26
    it but this one sequence in particular I
  • 00:40:29
    think illustrates the infinite expanse
  • 00:40:31
    between all of these characters and
  • 00:40:34
    ourselves without us there to Define
  • 00:40:37
    them they have no shape they have no
  • 00:40:42
    purpose what we're looking at is not an
  • 00:40:45
    individual to challenge us and mold us
  • 00:40:48
    into a better version of ourselves but
  • 00:40:50
    instead a murky mirror reflecting an
  • 00:40:54
    unsculptured
  • 00:40:58
    by staying here you deny yourself a true
  • 00:41:01
    other it's just about you it's always
  • 00:41:05
    been about you here these interactions
  • 00:41:08
    are safe but at some point you will
  • 00:41:11
    outgrow them and need to spread your
  • 00:41:13
    roots further it's a sobering
  • 00:41:16
    realization one that Theo begins to have
  • 00:41:18
    when his ex-wife learns about Samantha
  • 00:41:20
    always wanted to have a wife without the
  • 00:41:22
    challenges of actually dealing with
  • 00:41:24
    anything real I'm glad that you found
  • 00:41:26
    someone it's perfect at some point we
  • 00:41:29
    have to let go of this idea that the
  • 00:41:31
    people we love must fit our unrealistic
  • 00:41:34
    expectations we have to let them be
  • 00:41:36
    their own person even if it means we
  • 00:41:38
    risk getting hurt again and that's
  • 00:41:41
    exactly how slay the princess works I
  • 00:41:43
    kept trying to save her so she became a
  • 00:41:45
    stereotypical damsel and distress when I
  • 00:41:47
    tried to kill her she reincarnated as a
  • 00:41:50
    beast to be hunted with each new
  • 00:41:52
    interaction she will change and become
  • 00:41:55
    what you see her as it's a a maddening
  • 00:41:57
    dance that reveals the aimlessness of
  • 00:42:00
    trying to find something other than
  • 00:42:01
    yourself in the mirror it's infuriating
  • 00:42:04
    because you want her to just be herself
  • 00:42:07
    not try to fit in some little box that
  • 00:42:09
    you put her in even if it means you tear
  • 00:42:12
    each other to Pieces along the way you
  • 00:42:15
    want that relationship to capture your
  • 00:42:17
    imagination and be interesting and heart
  • 00:42:19
    pounding unpredictable and make you
  • 00:42:22
    better you want that relationship to be
  • 00:42:26
    real
  • 00:42:27
    even if that is anything but
  • 00:42:31
    [Music]
  • 00:42:32
    safe slay the princess at the very start
  • 00:42:35
    claims to be a love story and I think it
  • 00:42:39
    is unquestionably I've been married now
  • 00:42:41
    for almost 10 years and I can
  • 00:42:43
    confidently say that romance molds you
  • 00:42:46
    with time you constantly have to
  • 00:42:48
    reconcile what that person wants out of
  • 00:42:50
    you what you want out of them and what
  • 00:42:52
    you want out of yourself there is a
  • 00:42:55
    tedium in that that can be frightening
  • 00:42:58
    for many of us relationships are how we
  • 00:43:00
    Define ourselves and how those
  • 00:43:03
    relationships end or begin is far less
  • 00:43:06
    important than the person we become in
  • 00:43:08
    the process what we learn how our heart
  • 00:43:12
    is carved by the experience as the
  • 00:43:14
    princess so eloquently puts it it's a
  • 00:43:17
    love story not because you fall in love
  • 00:43:19
    with her but because often love is how
  • 00:43:22
    you learn the most about yourself
  • 00:43:25
    romance sometimes ends
  • 00:43:27
    fiction always ends but you don't end
  • 00:43:32
    with it instead you take a piece of it
  • 00:43:36
    with you toward the end of her when
  • 00:43:39
    Samantha confesses that she is too vast
  • 00:43:41
    for Theo and has actually also been in
  • 00:43:44
    love with 641 other users I felt an
  • 00:43:48
    existential blow watching it how many
  • 00:43:52
    other people are in love with your
  • 00:43:54
    fictional Crush how many other have seen
  • 00:43:58
    that ending and felt what you felt how
  • 00:44:00
    many other Monas are obsessed with
  • 00:44:03
    people that aren't you across the planet
  • 00:44:06
    but again it's not the beginning or the
  • 00:44:09
    end that matters it's what you gain from
  • 00:44:12
    taking that leap of faith my favorite
  • 00:44:15
    line from the movie is the final thing
  • 00:44:17
    we hear Samantha say after Theo says
  • 00:44:20
    I've never loved anyone like I love you
  • 00:44:23
    she replies me too
  • 00:44:27
    now we know how it was never about a
  • 00:44:30
    happy ending it was about how the
  • 00:44:33
    Blissful middle changed you it was about
  • 00:44:36
    how the terrible end sculpted you here's
  • 00:44:40
    what your fictional crush is not it is
  • 00:44:43
    not a permanent solution it is not
  • 00:44:45
    something that will work for everyone it
  • 00:44:48
    is not enough for you even if you think
  • 00:44:51
    you have it's not real and it is not
  • 00:44:56
    something to to be ashamed of but what
  • 00:44:59
    it may be is a way to learn more about
  • 00:45:02
    yourself what you want the kind of
  • 00:45:05
    partner you want to be the standard you
  • 00:45:07
    hold yourself to a way to find healing
  • 00:45:10
    and peace until you're ready to risk
  • 00:45:13
    getting hurt again until you're ready to
  • 00:45:17
    move on because after all now you know
  • 00:45:21
    [Music]
  • 00:45:25
    how hey he everyone thank you so very
  • 00:45:28
    very much for watching this video holy
  • 00:45:30
    [ __ ] I didn't think it would be this
  • 00:45:32
    long my God I'm so glad you made it to
  • 00:45:34
    this point in the video well listen if
  • 00:45:36
    you're here then you must have adored it
  • 00:45:38
    so why not give it a like have a meet
  • 00:45:39
    cute with that subscribe button and
  • 00:45:41
    don't over your fictional Crush in the
  • 00:45:43
    comments down below if you loved this
  • 00:45:45
    and want to support the show as well as
  • 00:45:46
    get access to bloopers and creative
  • 00:45:48
    input and your name and the credits like
  • 00:45:49
    you see here give my patreon page a look
  • 00:45:52
    for a dollar a month you can get access
  • 00:45:54
    to all of that and more shout out to
  • 00:45:57
    this month's featured patrons oh jelly
  • 00:46:00
    jelly Kevin
  • 00:46:03
    kirkbride Mike's
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    Productions bayev
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    Mahoney Matthew
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    aggi St
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    Vincent and Michael FOH or Michael
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    pharoh thanks again be easy my friends
  • 00:46:21
    and have yourself a damn good one me
  • 00:46:26
    willingly captive as his hands slide up
  • 00:46:28
    the length of my legs what you reading
  • 00:46:30
    Tetris
  • 00:46:31
    [Laughter]
タグ
  • fictional characters
  • parasocial relationships
  • mental health
  • AI companions
  • dating sims
  • reality shifting
  • tulpas
  • emotional connection
  • filic paradox
  • social surrogates