Make Her Think About You

00:13:32
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXo_DREudhs

概要

TLDRIn this conversation, the speakers discuss gender dynamics in relationships, focusing on infidelity motivations, accountability issues, and emotional needs. They suggest that men often cheat for ego boosts and attention, whereas women seek emotional connection and appreciation. The speakers highlight the complexities of maintaining monogamy and the importance of accountability in relationships. They share personal anecdotes about marriage and the significance of understanding emotional needs to foster better relationships. The discussion culminates with the introduction of a masculinity course aimed at helping men improve their self-respect and relationship dynamics.

収穫

  • 👥 Cheating motivations differ between men and women.
  • 🔍 Men often lack accountability for their actions.
  • 💔 Women seek appreciation and emotional connection.
  • 🔄 Monogamy can be perceived as challenging or easy based on perspective.
  • 💔 Infidelity can stem from unmet emotional needs.
  • ✨ Small affirmations can strengthen relationships.
  • 👀 Attraction is natural and should be respected in relationships.
  • ✊ Building self-respect can improve relationship dynamics.
  • 📚 A masculinity course can help men navigate relationships better.

タイムライン

  • 00:00:00 - 00:05:00

    The discussion highlights the tendency of men to deflect accountability when it comes to their infidelity and negative traits, often blaming their partners instead of recognizing their own shortcomings. It further explores how both men and women cheat for different reasons; men may seek ego boosts and a sense of masculinity, while women may feel unappreciated. Overall, the conversation suggests that relationships require understanding, communication, and a recognition of accountability to be successful.

  • 00:05:00 - 00:13:32

    The conversation shifts towards the dynamics of relationships, particularly emphasizing the need for mutual respect and understanding of each other's perspectives and insecurities. It's mentioned that relationships thrive on accountability and acceptance of influence from partners. The speaker shares personal experiences regarding their marriage and the significance of a strong connection for mental peace, indicating that in modern society, the emotional connection is increasingly lacking even amidst financial independence and other advancements.

マインドマップ

ビデオQ&A

  • Why do men cheat according to the discussion?

    Men often cheat seeking attention and to boost their ego, sometimes feeling emasculated at home.

  • What do women often seek in relationships?

    Women generally seek appreciation and emotional connection from their partners.

  • What is said about accountability in relationships?

    Men are said to lack accountability, often explaining their cheating behaviors as a reaction to their partner's actions.

  • How is monogamy addressed in the video?

    Monogamy is discussed as being difficult or easy based on individual perspectives and understanding of attraction.

  • What emotional needs do men and women have from each other?

    Men seek recognition that they’re not solely at fault, while women want their influence acknowledged.

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  • 00:00:00
    is with men they're so we women are
  • 00:00:02
    great at reminding men what they're
  • 00:00:04
    doing wrong so we will tell you you're
  • 00:00:05
    bad you're a liar you're this you're
  • 00:00:07
    that and the other so they kind of know
  • 00:00:09
    what their traits are they know if
  • 00:00:10
    they're a cheat or they know if they are
  • 00:00:12
    um you know difficult to live with they
  • 00:00:14
    know if they're messy with women when
  • 00:00:16
    they do cheat or when they are a bit
  • 00:00:18
    abusive um there's very little
  • 00:00:20
    accountability they tend to say I
  • 00:00:22
    cheated because my partner was doing
  • 00:00:23
    this or and as a result they don't
  • 00:00:25
    recognize that they actually do hold the
  • 00:00:26
    traits of a liar or a cheat or anything
  • 00:00:29
    going into the next relationship they
  • 00:00:30
    very good at explaining it away and it
  • 00:00:33
    makes it very difficult to do therapy on
  • 00:00:34
    them because they don't understand where
  • 00:00:37
    they're going wrong this is just a this
  • 00:00:38
    is not me trying to generalize it's just
  • 00:00:40
    tends to be what I find what do you
  • 00:00:42
    think I was once told that men cheat
  • 00:00:47
    because they don't get any attention MH
  • 00:00:49
    and women cheat because they don't feel
  • 00:00:51
    appreciated that's not a not a you what
  • 00:00:54
    I mean invalid point I would imagine men
  • 00:00:56
    you know essentially it is just an ego
  • 00:00:58
    boost they usually cheat with women
  • 00:01:00
    they're not as attractive as their wife
  • 00:01:01
    or not that interested in but she makes
  • 00:01:04
    them feel attractive and that's
  • 00:01:06
    sometimes all they need they need to
  • 00:01:07
    feel to feel like a king kind of thing
  • 00:01:09
    feel attractive or feel masculine
  • 00:01:11
    sometimes you know if you feel
  • 00:01:12
    emasculated in the home you cheat
  • 00:01:14
    because you want to feel masculine or
  • 00:01:15
    you want to feel uh intelligent or you
  • 00:01:17
    want to you just want you're chasing a
  • 00:01:18
    feeling and that's what cheating
  • 00:01:20
    essentially is it's chasing a lot of it
  • 00:01:22
    yeah sometimes it is just physical
  • 00:01:23
    attraction and so on and so forth but we
  • 00:01:26
    can there's lots of people who are
  • 00:01:27
    physically attracted to that you control
  • 00:01:28
    yourself around but it's us usually when
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    a combination of some physical
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    attraction but mainly you're missing a
  • 00:01:34
    feeling and you're seeking that feeling
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    and you seek it outside but do you feel
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    like I mean this is going to sound funny
  • 00:01:40
    yeah but do you feel
  • 00:01:42
    like monogamy is very hard or it's very
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    easy because on one side of
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    it look you're always going to be
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    attracted to people always and and this
  • 00:01:52
    is the conversation I have with with
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    people and you know I have a friend a
  • 00:01:57
    couple friends of mine yeah and you know
  • 00:02:00
    if one of them sees someone on the beach
  • 00:02:01
    who looks nice and the other one catches
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    them they go nuts and I'm like you have
  • 00:02:07
    to understand how outrageous that is
  • 00:02:10
    yeah that you feel away because he
  • 00:02:12
    looked at someone or she looked at
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    someone like that's that's outrageous
  • 00:02:16
    like if anything there should be an
  • 00:02:19
    understanding Hey listen looking is all
  • 00:02:20
    you got look the [ __ ] out of everyone
  • 00:02:22
    and take it in and because there's
  • 00:02:24
    always going to be attractive people and
  • 00:02:26
    you're always and we as human beings are
  • 00:02:28
    attracted to people we're attracted to
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    beautiful things it doesn't have to be a
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    person it could even be you see a
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    beautiful car you'll stop and stare and
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    you'll see a beautiful outfit you'll
  • 00:02:36
    stop and stare you've never heard anyone
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    you know get divorced because he shagged
  • 00:02:39
    his
  • 00:02:40
    car I mean it's happened in some
  • 00:02:42
    countries I'm sure but um the thing is
  • 00:02:45
    there's nothing wrong with appreciation
  • 00:02:46
    but usually it triggers a response in a
  • 00:02:49
    woman Tech usually or in somebody when
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    they see it as a reflection of what they
  • 00:02:55
    want to do with that look so like if
  • 00:02:57
    you're stopping and staring and be like
  • 00:02:58
    oh she's pretty and that's it uh it's
  • 00:03:00
    not really that deep but when you see
  • 00:03:02
    your dad but your dad oh God when you
  • 00:03:04
    see when you see your man lusting after
  • 00:03:06
    another woman there's a line of respect
  • 00:03:09
    it's not it's not that it's not that
  • 00:03:11
    women think that it's unreasonable to
  • 00:03:12
    look at another human being we know
  • 00:03:14
    everybody knows girls know you're going
  • 00:03:16
    to stop and stare at anything beautiful
  • 00:03:18
    it happens women stare at other women
  • 00:03:19
    more than men would um but there's a
  • 00:03:22
    line of some respect and that's all it
  • 00:03:24
    is so when you're really drooling is
  • 00:03:26
    there though because I point out guys to
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    my to my wife um but that's personally
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    go how buff that guy is you know you'd
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    love to B but you guys are respecting
  • 00:03:35
    each other's boundaries because your
  • 00:03:36
    boundaries are still being respected
  • 00:03:38
    you're not doing anything that would be
  • 00:03:40
    disrespectful to her but I think when
  • 00:03:42
    when people react to that they might
  • 00:03:44
    feel disrespected and it's a combination
  • 00:03:46
    of their own insecurities but that's not
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    good because that makes walking that
  • 00:03:50
    whole walking on eggshells thing is no
  • 00:03:52
    way to be in a relationship yeah they're
  • 00:03:53
    not being themselves like and and it's
  • 00:03:55
    like it just doesn't make sense and if
  • 00:03:57
    anything I think personally women
  • 00:03:59
    fantasize a lot more than men do you
  • 00:04:02
    think so oh come on man all these bloody
  • 00:04:04
    shows that mimo and 365 and and what's
  • 00:04:07
    it called down to Abby and oh yes I'll
  • 00:04:09
    take you on the grass in in the
  • 00:04:10
    background when your husband's like
  • 00:04:12
    every time I I come in I'm my wife's
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    watching a show I'm like what is this
  • 00:04:15
    porn you're watching and she's like no
  • 00:04:17
    you just came in at this time and I'm
  • 00:04:18
    like every show you watch there's people
  • 00:04:21
    having sex in it like I don't care like
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    but it's boring for me like personally
  • 00:04:26
    personally I don't watch enough TV to
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    know what's going on I actually make a
  • 00:04:29
    conscious effort not to uh watch TV or
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    movies or um and I don't really listen
  • 00:04:35
    to a lot of music or I definitely don't
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    watch music videos and um that is my way
  • 00:04:41
    of preserving my brain from conditioning
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    because I do think this hypersexual um
  • 00:04:48
    situation we have with women and men
  • 00:04:50
    it's not an accident it's h very much
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    due to conditioning that go that goes
  • 00:04:55
    way back like for
  • 00:04:56
    example out of 10 women and 10 men yeah
  • 00:04:59
    nine of them we're talking about back in
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    the day would read those novels you know
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    those what are they called romance
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    novels romance novels and he grabbed her
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    by the throat and blah blah blah like a
  • 00:05:08
    guy would read that and go [ __ ] off you
  • 00:05:11
    what I mean can't be with that thing and
  • 00:05:12
    that's where I mean where okay women
  • 00:05:15
    will fantasize on a different level to
  • 00:05:17
    men men will be like she's so you know
  • 00:05:20
    what I mean they think mainly sexually
  • 00:05:22
    yeah men will fantasize sex women will
  • 00:05:24
    will create a whole backstory Rel and
  • 00:05:26
    you know do you know what I mean a
  • 00:05:28
    relationship mentally which is fine they
  • 00:05:29
    fantasize over an ideal relationship and
  • 00:05:32
    but the thing is it's not hard to create
  • 00:05:34
    an ideal relationship it's actually not
  • 00:05:36
    that difficult but men and women just
  • 00:05:38
    speak different languages and so what
  • 00:05:40
    they find is essentially all men all
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    they really the number one thing they
  • 00:05:44
    seek in their partner is some
  • 00:05:46
    accountability they like to hear their
  • 00:05:48
    partner say it's not all your fault and
  • 00:05:50
    actually I was wrong in that as well I
  • 00:05:52
    need to do better in this and number one
  • 00:05:54
    thing that women actually need from men
  • 00:05:55
    is to accept influence when she says can
  • 00:05:58
    we do this on the weekend or can you
  • 00:06:00
    wear this or can we do that little yeses
  • 00:06:02
    to Little Things make it easier for a
  • 00:06:04
    man to keep control over the bigger
  • 00:06:05
    things so if you say yes to small things
  • 00:06:08
    like oh can you um can we eat at this
  • 00:06:10
    place or can we watch this you'll
  • 00:06:12
    probably retain more control over the
  • 00:06:14
    bigger decisions such as where you're
  • 00:06:15
    going to live and so on and so forth and
  • 00:06:17
    it actually creates a more balance
  • 00:06:18
    because they're actually just looking
  • 00:06:19
    for small and steady connection rather
  • 00:06:21
    than big huge gestures see you hear that
  • 00:06:24
    women so when he says can you dress up
  • 00:06:25
    like Princess
  • 00:06:27
    Leah no that's what
  • 00:06:30
    um but what would you say like how long
  • 00:06:32
    have you been married uh married seven
  • 00:06:35
    years seven years and together this time
  • 00:06:37
    around and married six years together
  • 00:06:40
    eight years and so basically when we met
  • 00:06:42
    yeah um we actually met at one of my
  • 00:06:45
    boot camps and we went on the first date
  • 00:06:47
    and I said
  • 00:06:48
    listen just uh I suggest you delete all
  • 00:06:50
    the guys numbers out your phone and just
  • 00:06:52
    get over it any last words go and say
  • 00:06:54
    she was like I made her cry on her first
  • 00:06:56
    date oh lovely so she was like uh what
  • 00:06:58
    do you mean I was like listen
  • 00:07:00
    like I don't want to beat around the
  • 00:07:01
    bush let's just make this very clear in
  • 00:07:02
    a week you'll be my girlfriend in a year
  • 00:07:04
    we'll be engaged and the year after
  • 00:07:05
    we'll be married the year after that
  • 00:07:07
    we're going to have twins yeah and she
  • 00:07:09
    was like you're a bit full of yourself
  • 00:07:10
    is it I said in a week we'll be together
  • 00:07:13
    in a year we'll be engaged in I was like
  • 00:07:16
    let me just say it again so you do it
  • 00:07:18
    yeah and everything to the day really to
  • 00:07:21
    the day was done you have twins and
  • 00:07:22
    everything I knew it was twins before we
  • 00:07:23
    even had twins you actually said that on
  • 00:07:26
    your first day are you being serious Lo
  • 00:07:27
    of practice how did you know that I just
  • 00:07:29
    knew it was just one of those things oh
  • 00:07:31
    and so wait you um but you've been
  • 00:07:33
    together for how long you've been
  • 00:07:34
    married six seven years how long have
  • 00:07:35
    you been together six together eight so
  • 00:07:36
    it was
  • 00:07:38
    literally yeah a year engaged to the day
  • 00:07:40
    then the next year after that we're
  • 00:07:42
    married and then after that a year we
  • 00:07:44
    and um what was it about her that made
  • 00:07:45
    you realize you could see your future
  • 00:07:47
    with it I I just knew what does that
  • 00:07:49
    mean I've always been very kind of aware
  • 00:07:52
    of of my surroundings and not just
  • 00:07:55
    relationship wise but just kind of like
  • 00:07:57
    you know you people don't understand gut
  • 00:08:00
    feeling very much and they don't realize
  • 00:08:01
    how much that's you know the reason they
  • 00:08:04
    call it the gut feeling is because it
  • 00:08:05
    comes from this area and this area is
  • 00:08:06
    where your denan is and that's where all
  • 00:08:08
    of your core energy comes from and
  • 00:08:09
    everything so your whole body kind of
  • 00:08:11
    knows what's going on that's why when
  • 00:08:13
    something's wrong or something's right
  • 00:08:14
    you kind of your body tells you your
  • 00:08:15
    body tells you kind of thing yeah and
  • 00:08:17
    and I had been through you know luckily
  • 00:08:19
    relationships in the past and I was
  • 00:08:21
    ready at that time yeah you know I I
  • 00:08:23
    knew I wanted to find someone and settle
  • 00:08:26
    down all that stuff um I mean I didn't
  • 00:08:28
    care if she was ready or
  • 00:08:30
    not like we are ready and we're going to
  • 00:08:33
    call each other we from now on and
  • 00:08:34
    that's it done yeah amaz and then do you
  • 00:08:36
    mind me asking like how do you find it
  • 00:08:38
    being a married man in a place like
  • 00:08:40
    Dubai which is a very shiny Bright
  • 00:08:42
    Lights tempting I'm glad that you took
  • 00:08:44
    over the podcast and started answering
  • 00:08:46
    your own questions to get away from the
  • 00:08:47
    questions that I'm going to ask you I
  • 00:08:48
    see what you're doing there you're
  • 00:08:50
    trying to reflect the conation um look I
  • 00:08:53
    think
  • 00:08:55
    again people always say duai and because
  • 00:08:58
    of this and because no I think it
  • 00:08:59
    doesn't matter where you are in the
  • 00:09:00
    world you're going to be the same
  • 00:09:02
    anywhere I don't think that Dubai Ian I
  • 00:09:04
    mean one thing I was thinking about I do
  • 00:09:06
    think people are a bit looser in hotter
  • 00:09:08
    countries yeah they just dress for it
  • 00:09:10
    and they they dress for it it's more
  • 00:09:12
    there the weather's kind of warm you're
  • 00:09:13
    happier you're more you're out more
  • 00:09:15
    you're on display a lot more you know
  • 00:09:16
    Alaska I think everyone's faithful
  • 00:09:18
    faithful there because no one could be
  • 00:09:19
    asked to put on a big giant woolly coat
  • 00:09:22
    to go even in London in like December
  • 00:09:24
    time like who's out like who's going to
  • 00:09:26
    go see somebody in I think it does help
  • 00:09:29
    yeah but I think also as well as what
  • 00:09:32
    people don't realize is Dubai is a very
  • 00:09:33
    young City in regards to there's a lot
  • 00:09:36
    the majority of people are between I'd
  • 00:09:38
    say 20 and 40 do you think it's a young
  • 00:09:40
    City or do you think it just makes you
  • 00:09:42
    feel young no no I think it's a young
  • 00:09:44
    City I think statistically the the age
  • 00:09:47
    of people is between 20 and 40 and
  • 00:09:49
    between 20 and 40 that's when you're
  • 00:09:50
    really kind of like mingling about like
  • 00:09:52
    I but when you see teenagers here it's
  • 00:09:54
    weird it's weird when I see a 13 or
  • 00:09:56
    14-year-old I'm like where you come from
  • 00:09:58
    what are you doing here get back in the
  • 00:10:00
    caves so you don't see that you don't
  • 00:10:02
    see I wonder with what I find in Dubai
  • 00:10:04
    is that you can be like a 45y old in the
  • 00:10:07
    club every night and no one looks at you
  • 00:10:09
    twice whereas in London and stuff by the
  • 00:10:11
    time you get to 30 you should be at home
  • 00:10:13
    like it's kind of yeah but that says a
  • 00:10:14
    lot about the person because I would
  • 00:10:15
    never be a 45 year old in a club but
  • 00:10:18
    there but you're probably not like there
  • 00:10:21
    is equal amount of people that would be
  • 00:10:23
    so I'm just wondering like do you think
  • 00:10:24
    it just is a young City or do you think
  • 00:10:25
    it makes you forget your age I think a
  • 00:10:28
    lot of people people get drawn into that
  • 00:10:30
    fake life mhm and when I say fake life
  • 00:10:33
    again what's fake to me is not fake to
  • 00:10:35
    someone else but I couldn't think of
  • 00:10:36
    anything worse than being in noou
  • 00:10:38
    partying and all that stuff you know
  • 00:10:40
    what I mean and showing off and I know a
  • 00:10:42
    lot of people who go out just to be
  • 00:10:44
    there in that group that isn't your real
  • 00:10:46
    friend if you if you can tell me you
  • 00:10:47
    have more than two friends yeah you're a
  • 00:10:49
    liar or or you're wasting your you don't
  • 00:10:52
    have more than two friends friends
  • 00:10:54
    friends yeah I have two three if Lucky
  • 00:10:57
    in life why acquaint is yeah there are a
  • 00:11:00
    couple or whatever no friends how come
  • 00:11:02
    you have such little friends cuz my life
  • 00:11:04
    is very important to me I can't be
  • 00:11:06
    wasting my energy with all these people
  • 00:11:08
    who you do have kid just want to take
  • 00:11:09
    pictures and go out and waste money and
  • 00:11:11
    do that whole thing it's not real that's
  • 00:11:13
    not there's no substance in it yeah and
  • 00:11:16
    and you know what it is I think what you
  • 00:11:18
    also realize is anybody who is living
  • 00:11:20
    that lifestyle it's fun there is a a lot
  • 00:11:23
    of pleasure in it but there's zero peace
  • 00:11:25
    and you're looking around and you're
  • 00:11:26
    thinking there's no way you can be truly
  • 00:11:28
    happy when you're out at 400 a.m. no
  • 00:11:31
    human yeah there's no human that is out
  • 00:11:34
    at that time and can be truly happy
  • 00:11:35
    because there's no peace in that and I
  • 00:11:37
    think the problem with any big city is
  • 00:11:39
    it makes you a pleasure Seeker like you
  • 00:11:41
    just want to do all the and divide's
  • 00:11:43
    great for that because there's endless
  • 00:11:44
    amount of pleasure um but what the
  • 00:11:46
    problem is until you have a good
  • 00:11:49
    relationship you're never at peace and
  • 00:11:51
    this is a thing that we're finding the
  • 00:11:53
    reason why women are suffering from so
  • 00:11:54
    many mental health issues more than any
  • 00:11:56
    other era even though they're so much
  • 00:11:57
    more financially independent and and
  • 00:11:59
    they've got so many more rights is
  • 00:12:01
    because women value connection and
  • 00:12:03
    that's what's lacking in the world at
  • 00:12:04
    the moment and so we're thinking we're
  • 00:12:07
    doing great as women or men or whatever
  • 00:12:09
    it is but the reality is until you fix
  • 00:12:11
    that relationship um with your with your
  • 00:12:13
    significant other it doesn't matter how
  • 00:12:15
    great everything else is going for you
  • 00:12:17
    you don't actually have that sense of
  • 00:12:18
    peace and that's one of the reasons I
  • 00:12:20
    wanted to do my couple counseling more
  • 00:12:22
    in Dubai because I feel like uh it's
  • 00:12:24
    kind of need in more need than most
  • 00:12:27
    places yeah so what are the to my course
  • 00:12:30
    on masculinity and in this course not
  • 00:12:32
    only will I be able to out completely
  • 00:12:35
    transform your understanding of women
  • 00:12:38
    but on a more personal level you will
  • 00:12:40
    enhance your self-esteem self resect and
  • 00:12:43
    your boundaries the goal of this course
  • 00:12:45
    is to take a man that has absolutely
  • 00:12:47
    fantastic intentions wants to find love
  • 00:12:49
    wants to commit wants to have a good
  • 00:12:51
    healthy relationship but is finding that
  • 00:12:53
    he's constantly running into women who
  • 00:12:55
    are narcissistic who are disrespectful
  • 00:12:57
    who are disloyal now if you are finding
  • 00:13:00
    that continuously then there must be
  • 00:13:01
    something in your engagement with women
  • 00:13:03
    that is causing this what my course will
  • 00:13:05
    do is look at where this desire where
  • 00:13:07
    this problem comes from how to resolve
  • 00:13:10
    it how to communicate effectively with
  • 00:13:12
    men and women and how to command respect
  • 00:13:15
    most importantly how to improve your
  • 00:13:17
    self-respect and throughout the course
  • 00:13:19
    you'll be given interactive sessions but
  • 00:13:21
    with course materials to help you
  • 00:13:24
    Channel and journal your learning so if
  • 00:13:27
    you are interested in becoming the most
  • 00:13:28
    massive masculine version of yourself
  • 00:13:30
    join today
タグ
  • relationships
  • cheating
  • accountability
  • monogamy
  • emotional needs
  • attraction
  • self-respect
  • masculinity course