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William March 2006 Evaline by James
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Joyce she sat at the window watching the
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evening invade the Avenue her head was
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leaned against the window curtains and
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in her nostrils was the odour of dusty
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cretonne she was tired few people passed
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the man out of the last house passed on
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his way home she heard his footsteps
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clacking along the concrete pavement and
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afterwards crunching on the cinder path
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before the new red houses one time there
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used to be a field there in which they
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used to play every evening with other
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people's children then a man from
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Belfast bought the field and built
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houses on it not like their little brown
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houses but bright brick houses with
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shining roofs the children of the Avenue
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used to play together in that field the
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Divine's the waters the Duns little key
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oak the she and her brothers and
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sisters
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Ernest however never played he was too
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grown-up her father used often to hunt
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them in out of the field with his black
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thorn stick but usually little Keogh
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used to keep Nix and call out when he
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saw her father coming still they seemed
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to have been rather happy then her
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father was not so bad then and besides
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her mother was alive that was a long
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time ago she and her brothers and
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sisters were all grown up her mother was
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dead
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tizzy Dunn was dead too and the waters
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had gone back to England everything
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changes now she was going to go away
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like the others to leave her home
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home she looked around the room
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reviewing all its familiar objects which
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she had dusted once a week for so many
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years wondering where on earth all the
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dust came from perhaps she would never
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see again those familiar objects from
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which she had never dreamed of being
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divided and yet during all those years
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she had never found out the name of the
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priest whose yellowing photograph hung
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on the wall above the broken harmonium
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beside the coloured print of the
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promises made to Blessed Margaret Mary
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Alacoque he had been a school friend of
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her father whenever he showed the
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photograph to a visitor her father used
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to pass it with a casual word he is in
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Melbourne now she had consented to go
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away to leave her home was that wise she
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tried to weigh each side of the question
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in her home anyway she had shelter and
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food she had those whom she had known
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all her life about her of course she had
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to work hard both in the house and at
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business what would they say of her in
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the stores when they found out that she
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had run away with a fella
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say she was a fool perhaps and her place
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would be filled up by advertisement miss
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Gavin would be glad she had always had
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an edge on her especially whenever there
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were people listening miss his don't you
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see these ladies are waiting look lively
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miss Hill please she would not cry many
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tears at leaving the stores but in her
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new home in a distant unknown country it
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would not be like that then she would be
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married she Evaline people would treat
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her with respect then she would not be
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treated as her mother had been even now
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though she was over nineteen she
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sometimes felt herself in danger of her
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father's violence she knew it was that
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that had given her the palpitations when
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they were growing up he had never gone
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for her like he used to go for Harry and
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Ernest because she was a girl but
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latterly he had begun to threaten her
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and say what he would do to her
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only for her dead mother's sake and now
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she had nobody to protect her Ernest was
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dead and Harry who was in the church
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decorating business was nearly always
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down somewhere in the country
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besides the invariable squabble for
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money on Saturday nights had begun to
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weary her unspeakably she always gave
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her entire wages 7 shillings and Harry
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always sent up what he could but the
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trouble was to get any money from her
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father
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he said she used to squander the money
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that she had no head that he wasn't
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going to give her his hard-earned money
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to throw about the streets and much more
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for he was usually fairly bad on
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Saturday night in the end he would give
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her the money and ask her has she any
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intention of buying Sunday's dinner then
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she had to rush out as quickly as she
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could and do her marketing holding her
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black leather purse tightly in her hand
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as she elbowed her way through the
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crowds and returning home late under her
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load of provisions she had hard work to
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keep the house together and to see that
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the two young children who had been left
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in her charge went to school regularly
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and got their meals regularly it was
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hard work a hard life but now that she
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was about to leave it she did not find
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it a wholly
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undesirable life she was about to
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explore another life with Frank Frank
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was very kind
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manly open-hearted she was to go away
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with him by the night boat to be his
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wife and to live with him in Buenos
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Aires where he had a home waiting for
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her how well she remembered the first
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time she had seen him he was lodging in
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a house on the main road where she used
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to visit it seemed a few weeks ago he
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was standing at the gate his peaked cap
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pushed back on his head and his hair
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tumbled forward over a face of bronze
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then they had come to know each other he
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used to meet her outside the stores
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every evening and see her home he took
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her to see the bohemian girl and she
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felt elated as she sat in an
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unaccustomed part of the theatre with
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him he was awfully fond of music and
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sang a little
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people knew that they were courting and
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when he's saying about the last that
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loves a sailor she always felt
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pleasantly confused he used to call her
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Poppins out of fun first of all it had
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been an excitement for her to have a
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fellow and then she had begun to like
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him he had tales of distant countries he
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had started as a deck boy at a pound a
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month on a ship of the Ellen line going
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out to Canada he told her the names of
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the ships he had been on and the names
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of the different services he had sailed
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through the Straits of Magellan and he
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told her stories of the terrible
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Patagonian --zz he had fallen on his
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feet in Buenos Aires he said and had
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come over to the old country just for a
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holiday of course her father had found
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out the affair and had forbidden her to
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have anything to say to him I know of
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these sailor chaps he said one day he
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had quarreled with Frank and after that
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she had to meet her lover secretly the
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evening deepened in the Avenue the white
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of two letters in her lap grew
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indistinct one was too hairy the other
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was to her father Ernest had been her
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favorite but she liked Harry too
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her father was becoming old lately she
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noticed he would miss her sometimes he
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could be nice not long before when she
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had been laid up for a day he had read
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her out a ghost story and made toast for
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her at the fire another day when their
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mother was alive they had all gone for a
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picnic to the hill of health she
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remembered her father putting on her
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mother's bonnet to make the children
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laugh her time was running out but she
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continued to sit by the window leaning
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her head against the window curtain
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inhaling the odour of dusty cretonne
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down far in the avenue she could hear a
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street organ playing she knew the air
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strange that it should come that very
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night to remind her of the promise to
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her mother her promise to keep the home
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together as long as she could she
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remembered the last night of her
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mother's illness she was again in the
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close dark room at the other side of the
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hall and outside she heard a melon
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Holle air of Italy the organ player had
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been ordered to go away and given
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sixpence she remembered her father
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strutting back into the sickroom saying
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damned Italians coming over here as she
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mused the pitiful vision of her mother's
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life laid its spell on the very quick of
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her being that life of commonplace
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sacrifices closing in final craziness
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she trembled as she heard again her
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mother's voice saying constantly with
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foolish insistence dad even said on Dara
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Vaughn said on she stood up in a sudden
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impulse of Terror escape she must escape
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Frank would save her he would give her
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life perhaps love too but she wanted to
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live why should she be unhappy she had a
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right to happiness Frank would take her
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in his arms fold her in his arms he
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would save her she stood among the
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swaying crowd in the station at the
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north wall he held her hand and she knew
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that he was speaking to her saying
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something about the passage over and
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over again the station was full of
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soldiers with brown baggages through the
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wide doors of the sheds she caught a
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glimpse of the black mass of the boat
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lying in beside the quay wall with
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illumined portholes she answered nothing
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she felt her cheek pale and cold and out
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of a maze of distress she prayed to God
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to direct her to show her what was her
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duty the boat blew a long mournful
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whistle into the mist if she went
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tomorrow she would be on the sea with
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Frank steaming toward Buenos Aires their
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passage had been booked could she still
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draw back after all he had done for her
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her distress awoke a nausea in her body
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and she kept moving her lips in silent
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fervent prayer a bell clanged upon her
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heart she felt him seize her hand come
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all the Seas of the world tumbled about
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her heart he was drawing her into them
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he would drown her she gripped with both
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hands at the iron
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come no no no it was impossible her
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hands clutched the iron in frenzy amid
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the Seas she sent a cry of anguish
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evidene evii he rushed beyond the
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barrier and called to her to follow he
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was shouted at to go on but he still
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called to her she set her white face to
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him passive like a helpless animal her
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eyes gave him no sign of love or
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farewell or recognition end of Evaline
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by James Joyce
