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do you feel like you're living life on a
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beat scrolling social media stuck in bad
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habits and never hitting your goals well
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10 years ago I was making $55,000 a year
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completely overwhelmed and stuck today
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I've co-founded a multi-million dollar
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business and truly live the life that I
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once dreamed of so if you're ready to
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cut off the old version of yourself and
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build the life that you've been dreaming
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of here's exactly where to start
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decision decision decision the first and
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most important step to getting unstuck
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is to understand that the old version of
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you doesn't exist exist anymore unless
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you choose to stay stuck you have to cut
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off the person that you are right now to
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become the person that you want to be so
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how do you actually do this you see I
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love to look up the derivation of words
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and the derivation of the word decision
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is to cut off which means you're no
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longer the person that you were
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yesterday if you have made a decision to
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change that person doesn't exist imagine
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if your car got stolen the next day you
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couldn't wake up be able to use your old
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vehicle in order to get to where you're
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trying to go you'd have to come up with
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some different solution you'd have to
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take a bike you'd have to Uber maybe
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you're walking you no longer have your
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car as your option to travel now think
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about this as a decision for you to
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change your life if you're going to
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become a person who works out every
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single day or a person who is a badass
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at sales or somebody who reads books and
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is very well- read and articulate all of
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a sudden if you decide to be that person
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you are no longer the person that
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doesn't do those things that person
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doesn't exist any longer so you have to
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to start making decisions as if you are
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that new person because guess what you
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are all because you made the decision
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now once you've made the decision let's
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make your environment easier so if you
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know that you doom scroll on Tik Tok set
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a policy make it so that moving forward
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you have your screen time locked on your
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phone you cannot scroll on Tik Tok for
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longer than 5 minutes when you make
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subtle changes like this to actually
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change your environment you're doubling
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down on the decision for you not to be
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the old version of yourself so your
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environment matters and the choices that
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you need to make in order to get there
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really matter and guess what they can be
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small little tweaks being a whole
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different version of you doesn't mean
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that everything in your life changes but
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the things that matter that you need to
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make progress on have to happen today
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and that decision has to be now my
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second step to getting unstuck is to
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ruin myself with disappointment in me
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disappointment is the wakeup call that
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you have been avoiding do not listen to
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all of those nice memes and those fun
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Tik toks that make you feel like you
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should accept yourself and be okay with
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yourself the way that you are if you're
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disappointed because you know that you
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have more in you you know that you could
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impact more people you know you have
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this great potential and instead you're
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wasting it be freaking disappointed you
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shouldn't feel good about yourself why
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would you feel good about yourself
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you're not living into what is possible
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for you once you know that you're
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unhappy with the way that your life
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looks you can make that change but don't
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Sugar Code it don't tell yourself lies
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that you should just love yourself the
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way that you are and give yourself a big
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hug don't listen to that be
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disappointed accept the disappointment
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and take action my parents used to drag
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me to a dinner every single year with a
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family friend and this family friend was
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very well educated very well read and
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Incredibly successful but I hated going
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to the dinner because he made me feel
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bad about myself the amount of news that
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he would read every single day would
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remind me that instead of reading the
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news I was watching television the way
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that he would articulate questions and
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his opinions would make me feel
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uncomfortable because I realized I
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didn't have an opinion because I didn't
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even know what the freak he was talking
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about he was so involved in politics and
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what was happening in the world and I
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realized I don't know the things that I
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could know and that I really feel like I
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should know and should be part of those
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conversations so after many years of
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dinners I finally decided to stop lying
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to myself and take action what did I do
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I ordered the economist I ordered the
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Wall Street Journal to show up to my
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house every single day and I became
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interested in the news I became
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interested in politics so that when I
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showed up to dinner the next year I
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would actually have opinions you see I
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didn't lie to myself saying that those
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things aren't important they were
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important that brings us to step three
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which is to decide what you want your
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life to look like you cannot create the
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life that you want without knowing what
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you want if I'm totally honest I
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entirely gave up on my goals for about 3
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years I became introverted I just
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decided to be stuck in life because I
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felt really insecure to be honest and I
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was not confident and I was so terrified
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of what people thought of me that I just
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didn't want to try and I'll never forget
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flying to this comp conference and I had
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said no to speaking at this conference
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because I was scared and I didn't feel
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confident but then I was sitting there
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in the audience realizing I'm here I
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could be participating I could be
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contributing but instead my fear of
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public speaking my fear of being seen my
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fear of maybe people judging me or
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criticizing me is going to keep me on
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the sidelines and from that moment
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forward I was like I'm not going to be
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this person I refus to be the person
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that doesn't have the life that they
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want and so from there I took
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accountability and said what do I want
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my life to look like and I wrote down
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all of my goals what do I want
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personally what do I want my fitness
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goals to be what do I want my family
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goals to be what kind of friends do I
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want to have professionally what type of
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mentors do I want to bring in what are
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the opportunities that I'd like to
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create and financially how much money do
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I want to make what do I want to
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contribute to how could I make a
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financial impact on a charity that
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really matters to me because if I'm not
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confident in myself today and I don't
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feel like I can create the life that I
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want I'm never going to create the
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impact that I could potentially make and
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I am put on this planet in order to live
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into my potential and I think that you
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are too so if you haven't done this
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already I would pause this video and I
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would take out a piece of paper or maybe
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open up your notes app and I would write
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down your personal professional and
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financial 5year goals this will give you
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a picture of who you want to be in the
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future so that you can decide to be that
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person today step four is the most
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important thing you can do because you
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have to know for sure that you moving
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forward are you making progress daily
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that is how you get out of the rut of
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having this dream life but actually
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feeling like you're making incremental
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progress you're seeing wins you're
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making a change one of my successful
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habits around this is to plan my day the
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night before I do not leave my office I
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do not leave my place of work or go to
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bed without having a full breakdown of
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my calendar and where I'm spending my
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time the next day make the plan the
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night before so when I'm going through
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my calendar I'm looking at what
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appointments do I have what books am I
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reading what podcasts do I need to
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listen to How do I spring in little
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pieces of future Natalie and make those
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deposits today so that I can actually
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get those opportunities in the future
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because I'm well read on these things
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because I'm in the know on what's
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happening in the spaces that I'm
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interested in going into the progress
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you choose to make every single day is
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what changes things it is not these big
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steps it is the tiny incremental steps
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that you make every single day that
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change the trajectory of your life to
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create the life that you've always
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wanted and my hack for this is to
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actually graph the things that are the
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most important to me because if I can
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see on a graph that I'm getting more
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hours of sleep every single night that I
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am working out consistently and that my
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muscle mass is increasing or if I can
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see that I'm actually making more money
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month over month all of a sudden I feel
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better about the growth because I can
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see it moving up but if you aren't
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graphing and you aren't paying attention
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to those movements every day you're
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going to feel like you're not getting
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any closer and you're going to go back
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into your rut so measuring the handful
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of things that matter to you changes
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everything step five is one of my
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favorites and I don't hear people
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talking about this wherever you're
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currently spending your time stop
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spending your time there if you're in a
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rut the easiest way to get unstuck in
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your life is to get out of your house
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your environment dictates the way that
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you feel so you're watching a video
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right now about how to get unstuck if
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you're feeling stuck that means that you
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shouldn't stay in the environment where
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you are stuck your environment can be
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the type of social media that you
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interact with your environment can be
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the friends that you hang out with the
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information that you're reading get out
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of your house get out out of those
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places where you feel stuck and do that
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immediately if you're watching this in a
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place where you don't feel great leave
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the place that you're currently in and
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getting out of your house is one of the
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most effective things when you get out
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of your house it means that you have to
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be around other people back when I was
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in college and I would really feel caved
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in I would do my homework in my bed I
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felt like I was just grinding and that
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there was no end in sight my life was
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always going to suck I would go and
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study at a Starbucks and later on I
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learned that the best place to study was
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actually a hotel lobby because you were
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just in a different environment it was a
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different Groove I just felt better
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about myself I put on a different outfit
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I made my makeup a little bit nicer and
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I felt like I was in a place like the
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places that I wanted to be in the future
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instead of physically being in the place
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where I currently feel stuck so think of
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ways that you could change your
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environment if you currently study at
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your house could you study in a library
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if you currently work in a space with a
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cooworker that you can't stand could you
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ask your manager to move there are
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creative ways to change your environment
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and your environment is everything step
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six is to realize realize that
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entertainment disguised is education is
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why you're not making progress if you
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watch a bunch of these videos and you
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never do anything after them you have
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just substituted traditional
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entertainment via Tik Tok or Netflix
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with education that you're using as
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entertainment and I am a huge culprit of
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this I will never forget when I needed
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some motivation it was back when I was
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in high school I had to study for this
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big AP exam I was going to watch this
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movie about this inspirational story
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story of this woman who had this
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incredible gymnastics career in my mind
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I was thinking I was being productive or
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I was learning something learning how to
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overcome and how to have grit really I
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was just being educated back in the day
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I didn't have YouTube but today I see
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people doing this constantly where they
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will just binge watch all of these
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videos on how to launch an effective
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marketing campaign how to grow on social
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media how to make more money and they
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feel better because instead of just
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watching mindless reality television at
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least they're learning something but
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they're not pairing the learning of
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something with the doing of something
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this can lead to you feeling like you're
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making progress when really you're not
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so here's my rule of THB whenever I'm
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watching reading or listening to
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something I have to actually do
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something immediately afterwards I can't
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just go to the next video to the next
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podcast find the next Guru you will not
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have a better life you will not get
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unstuck from your rut if you just go to
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Natalie's next video although you should
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go to my next video but that's not going
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to really help you and I'm here to
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actually help you so what can you do
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right now that would make a change if I
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was you I would take my laptop or I
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would take my phone and I would get out
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of my house and I would go set up shop
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in a coffee shop or in some awesome
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Swanky hotel lobby that is how you
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implement and you make a change so that
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you're actually making progress instead
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of just being edutain next up is number
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seven which is to separate yourself from
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people who don't support you you can
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take a break from people holding you
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back and it doesn't have to be a breakup
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this is a lesson that my mom taught me
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she would tell me about the boyfriends
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that she would break up with but they
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didn't know that she broke up with them
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and I was like Mom how did you do this
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she said I would just create slow and
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subtle distance instead of having this
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big fight that created all this emotion
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I would subtly become more and more busy
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to the point where it just didn't make
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sense for us to be together any longer
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because I already had this new life with
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things that I was passionate about and
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they were still doing what they were
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doing before we didn't have some massive
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breakup but it was obvious to both
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parties that there was no longer
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alignment this is the best way to create
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separation from your friends now here's
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the deal with this don't make other
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people wrong don't have some big
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emotional blowup just separate yourself
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and start being so busy working on
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yourself doing things that are creating
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the life that you want that you no
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longer have the time that you used to
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have if you have friends who you like to
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party with and go out with on Friday
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Saturday and Sunday nights just have
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other things to do that you can't move
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whatever it is that you're trying to
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create make time to do those things in
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the time that used to spend with people
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who aren't helping you get closer to
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your goals this is where I go back to
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looking at my calendar and I cancel
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anything that is is not helping me get
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out of the rut that I'm in there is no
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party that you can go to there is no
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lunch that you can go to there is no
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coffee that you can go to with your
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friend that is going to make you feel
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better about yourself again it's not to
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make them bad and it's not to make them
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wrong it's just to say I no longer have
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time to talk about my current life
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because I have to go do things and spend
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time building a new version of my life
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and I can't live my old life while
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building the new version of my life that
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brings us to our final step in getting
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unstuck which is Step number eight just
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to say no you have to say no to anything
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that doesn't align with your goals I
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used to make up errands that I had to
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run instead of spending Saturday
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actually learning a new skill and
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investing in myself to make progress I
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would come up with this list of all of
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these things that I had to do I have to
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go get my nails done I have to go to
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Target I have to eat lunch I just
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created all of these things that I had
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to do when really I didn't have to do
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any of them so sometimes saying no isn't
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saying no to somebody else it's actually
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saying no to the habits and the routines
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and the things that you tell yourself
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you have to do but they're really
00:13:04
distractions just taking you away from
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the things that you actually have to do
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if you're not making progress on the
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real things that you need to do you have
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to re-evaluate the things that you have
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to do and start saying no to yourself if
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you're ready to take this even further
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watch my video on how to create your
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dream life and start making it a reality
