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Mental health language has become more
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mainstream. And while it's wonderful to
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have increasing discussions and
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awareness about mental health, mental
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wellness, mental illness, well-being,
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and the promotion of things like
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therapy. I love that these conversations
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are more normal and that certain ideas
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are becoming more commonplace. However,
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with the rise of this mental health
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language, therapy speak has also entered
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the chat and it's gone beyond these
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conversations and has worked its way
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into places that I don't really feel
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like it belongs. Therapy speak and
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self-help ideas have been twisted by
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influencers or for marketing purposes
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to encourage
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overconumption or are being tied to
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shopping and the pursuit of stuff. In
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today's video, we're going to talk about
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how some of this shows up on Tik Tok.
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We're going to talk about a few examples
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of this like the use of the inner child
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to encourage people to shop. We're going
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to talk a little bit about self-care and
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we'll also talk about some concepts from
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the self-help space. Before we dive in,
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I want to make it really clear that I am
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not a mental health professional and
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this video is not dispensing mental
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health advice. We may be talking about
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concepts like the inner child today, but
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I'm going to be using direct quotes from
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professionals in order to have some of
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these discussions. I'm speaking today as
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a conscious consumer and cultural
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observer. My goal today is to take a
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look at some of this language and how
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it's being used for marketing or
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influencing purposes and not to critique
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the actual practice.
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Let's first talk about therapy speak.
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And this is when psychological or
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therapeutic terms are taken out of that
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specific context. Or we may also view
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this as terms that view some kind of
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clinical or therefore professional
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weight terms like toxic or inner child
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or gaslighting. This is not to say that
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nobody ever on Tik Tok or social media
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cannot talk about these terms or their
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experiences with these terms, but what
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you're going to see today are things
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that are far outside of that context.
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And the first thing we're going to talk
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about is using the inner child for
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marketing and shopping
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purposes. So let's first talk about what
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the inner child is. So according to
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integrative site, your inner child is a
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part of your subconscious that has been
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picking up me messages way before it was
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able to fully process what was going on
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mentally and emotionally. In healing
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developmental trauma, Heler and Leier
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elaborate on the lasting consequences of
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early emotional neglect and unmet
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developmental needs. They write that
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unresolved trauma impairs connection to
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the self and others that can lead to
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shame, low selfworth, and the use of
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childhood survival strategies that no
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longer serve us as adults. Inner child
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work can become necessary when
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unprocessed childhood experiences
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influence adult reactions and
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relationships. As integrative psych
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explains, we might feel emotionally
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triggered by small things that seem
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irrational. We might sabotage
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relationships or we might struggle with
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setting boundaries. One example of inner
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child work. I'm mentioning this to show
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you what an
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expert qualifies this kind of work and
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I'm not suggesting that you go out and
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start doing inner child work like
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willy-nilly. They say that it can
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include writing a letter to your inner
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child, which could be a love letter,
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reassurance, or apology. It's a way to
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reconnect and give your inner child the
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words that they needed to hear. What
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this information I think shows us is
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that our experiences as children can
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impact us as adults in negative ways.
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And also what somebody may need to heal
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from these experiences even if a
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reaction is similar could be very
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different. And a lot of this work
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figures out what your specific
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experiences were in childhood and how
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they impact you individually or
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specifically as an adult. So to be extra
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clear or I hope what is extra clear is
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that this kind of work addresses unmet
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emotional needs from childhood through
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intentional reflection or work usually
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with a professional. I want to now look
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at a couple of Tik Toks. So, in this Tik
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Tok, we have somebody who is putting
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away purses on a rack and or like a
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shelf space. I counted 18 visible
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purses. And on the screen, it says,
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"Maturing is realizing I don't need
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another Coach bag." Then it so she's
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putting away her purses and then it goes
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to her shopping in a mall or like
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walking into a Coach store and it says,
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"Too bad I'm immature." And the caption
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says, "Listen, I'm healing my inner
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child by buying every purse I want. I
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just happen to be obsessed with coach
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and I work so hard so I deserve it.
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There's this Tik Tok that says healing
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my inner child by buying things I could
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never get as a child and then she's
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buying what appears to be to me either a
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juicy sweatsuit or pajamas and then it
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also appears that she's buying underwear
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like juicy underwear. Another one it
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says POV healing my inner child with
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adult money at TJ Maxx. I gave you the
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context of what inner child work could
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look like to give you context for these
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Tik Toks and how these Tik Tockers are
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framing it. And I feel like there is
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either a fundamental
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misunderstanding of what inner child
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work means or looks like
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or just thinking about things their
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childhood self might enjoy or like. This
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Tik Tok says, "Just a girl trying to
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heal her inner child by giving her
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everything she would have wanted." This
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is giving off very similar vibes. We
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also have several Tik Toks of of adults
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buying plushies. This one says, "Buying
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whatever plushy I want." And then this
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Tik Tok provides the most like
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indepth explanation. Like most of these
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other videos are just some text over a
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screen. You don't hear anybody talking,
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but this person talks about their
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experience. And she buys six plushies.
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Actually, you know what? Let's just
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watch this one. How do you heal your
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inner child? For me, it's collecting
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plushies. And you may be wondering, why
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is a 26-year-old buying kid toys? As an
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oldest sibling, I had many roles. The
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family therapist, the third parent, a
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role model to my younger sibling. I was
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a child pushed to be an adult. I'm
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grateful for learning maturity and
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responsibility, but I crave the feeling
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of just simply being a kid. And for me,
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fleshies bridge this gap. They're a
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constant in my life yet give me a chance
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to escape adulthood.
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I'm so excited to show you guys what I
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got. Starting with this Winnie the Pooh
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hooded blanket. Okay, the rest of this
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is her hauling stuff. And I can
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appreciate her experience. And I'm not
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mad that she wants plushies at all, that
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she finds value in them. And I'm not
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knocking somebody for a specific
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interest. I'm going to be very clear
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about that. I am also not attempting to
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minimize her experiences or struggles as
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a child because those are very valid.
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The problem with this in my opinion is
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number one this I believe is an ad with
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Mo and she's using her shopping at Mo
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like justifying that through the lens of
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like healing the inner child so I can
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buy whatever I want or like like
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collecting plushies as many as I want.
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What we're seeing in all of these Tik
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Toks is shopping being framed as a
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healing technique or a healing tool. I
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think that this sends miss mixed
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messages that inner child work tends to
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focus on emotional repair, not material
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accumulation. While there can be
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physical objects and goods that can
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connect you to your inner child in some
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kind of way and help you on your
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journey. I don't think that in a lot of
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cases we're going to heal ourselves via
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shopping. Reducing healing to
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consumption I think runs the risk of
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associating shopping with healing.
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Seeing shopping as the tool or the
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mechanism, the solution, the solution to
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deeper emotional needs. This is a cycle
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that I believe to leave real healing
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left undone. You can't heal without the
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emotional work.
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And this skips through the emotional
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work, which is really hard. We'll talk
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about retail therapy later, but this
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becomes like retail therapy because you
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are doing the shopping instead of the
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emotional work. Retail therapy is a
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problem. Like if we forget the inner
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child work for a second, it's a problem
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because it doesn't allow you to process
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your emotions. You are quite
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usually skipping them, ignoring them,
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putting them off, avoiding them. So,
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could buying plushies do something for
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you or allow you to experience something
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you didn't as a child? For sure. But
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that is not synonymous with work. And
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then you see Tik Tok after Tik Tok after
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Tik Tok like this, especially in
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specific places, can create associations
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and can position buying plushies as like
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a good for you thing. One of the themes
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of these Tik Toks as well is not just
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somebody buying a thing but buying as
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much as they want collecting. There are
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multiple Tik Toks that says allowing
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myself to buy whatever I want. Even if
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we think about children, I don't think
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allowing children to buy literally
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whatever they want, how much they want,
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and whatever quantities they want is
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actually a healthy thing. It is true
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that there can be specific experiences
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in somebody's life that like maybe
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wasn't about a specific thing, but
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because there was like a context that
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happened. I'm just going to pick
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something not relating to these these
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individuals here. Let's say something
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happened over a mahogany teakwood Bath &
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Body Works candle. There was like a
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really emotional moment that was tied to
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that thing. reconnecting with that can
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potentially like repair a core memory or
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a core belief that was a real problem
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for you that like that is true or
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denying children specific
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things can be harmful but buying
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whatever you want I don't think is the
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answer and often as well
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equating like no
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nostalgia or toys with the inner child.
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Like nostalgia is inner child work or
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because your younger self appreciated
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plushies inherently makes that work.
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Inner child work or buying those things.
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It could. I'm not want to speak in
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definitives here because so many people
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experience different things. But the
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point I want to make here is that
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nostalgia or toys are not inherently
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inner child things. When brands or
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creators suggest that you can buy toys
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or nostalgic items, they can become like
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valid substitutes to emotional work and
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this can not that it does but it can
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trivialize the emotional work that is
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required and I think can imply that
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healing can be bought. I'm going to put
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this Tik Tok on the screen that I put in
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my mini brands video. It says POV, you
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stop caring what people think and start
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healing your inner child. And it's
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somebody going to Ulta to buy many
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brands. This is turning what can be
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really deeply like painful
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psychological like personal things,
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personal needs into marketing. I don't
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expect a toy company to like empower
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people to seek psychological help or
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like therapy. That's not the role I
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would expect a marketing company to
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play. But it's funneling them towards in
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like towards spending and it's doing it
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in a way that can be emotionally
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manipulative. To conclude this section,
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healing your inner child is deeply
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personal work and there's going to be
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emotional components involved in it. And
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while there could be an element of
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shopping to it, that will not be the
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primary way majority of people are going
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to do the inner child healing stuff.
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We're going to switch gears a little bit
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and we're going to talk about something
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in the self-help
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space. This involves not Mel Robbins,
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but her let them theory. So Mel Robbins
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is American author. She's pretty big in
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the self-help, self-development space.
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Her work focuses on personal growth
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topics, mindset shift, behavioral tools,
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things like that. She's really about
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like empowering people to take care of
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their lives or take control of their
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lives, sorry. And in 2023, she published
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a book called The Let Them Theory. So,
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this theory encourages emotional
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detachment from the behavior and
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opinions of others. At its core, it's a
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practice in surrender, letting people do
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what they will rather than wasting your
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time and energy trying to control,
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correct, or convince them. She argues
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that when we stop chasing external
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validation and accept what people choose
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to do, we free oursel to focus on our
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own peace and purpose. She intended for
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this to be a like a personal empowerment
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tool and it's about reducing emotional
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reactivity and prioritizing selfrust and
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inner stability. There is this audio
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coming from this book that is Mel
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Robbins talking about this in practice
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and it was being shared in 2023, but
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also I I saw many clips in like the late
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winter, early spring this year of
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creators like listening to the Let Them
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theory or like playing this specific
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clip and doing things. We're going to
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watch one of these clips now. Um, so you
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can hear the audio. What's more, what's
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most important is the audio. We will
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talk about the creator in just a second,
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but let's listen to this audio. People
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will have negative opinions about you
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and every single thing you do. Let them
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let them judge. Let them react. Let them
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doubt you. Let them question the
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decisions you're making. Let them be
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wrong about you. Let them roll their
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eyes when you start posting videos
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online. Instead of wasting your time
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worrying about them, start living your
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life in a way that makes you proud of
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yourself. Let me let me do what I want
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to do with my one wild and precious
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life. So, this specific creator made
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multiple videos with this audio and one
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of them is her making a latte and just
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like this this sound is over it. And
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then this particular one we watched um
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is her like sitting in the car sipping
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her drink. So this particular creator,
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her primary purpose on Tik Tok is to
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sell people stuff. That's what she does.
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And when we look at her Tik Tok account,
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um all of her videos or majority of her
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videos I should say are her favorite
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this favorite shoes for spring. It's all
00:16:04
new stuff all the time. Like literally
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every video is something new. It's kind
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of crazy just how
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much new stuff is shown on her channel.
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And we also have another creator who is
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she gets a lot of um hate because she's
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on a carnivore diet. and she posted a
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picture of her cutting like meat, a
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really big piece of meat with this
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playing over top. And the implication of
00:16:39
both of these Tik Toks and like every
00:16:41
one I've seen from content creators that
00:16:43
aren't talking about it is I've seen
00:16:45
many of these. They will be like doing
00:16:48
something in their life or they'll just
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be sitting and nodding. Let people hate
00:16:54
on you. Like you know what you're doing.
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Don't let the haters kind of get to you.
00:16:59
And one of the lines in the vid in the
00:17:02
clip that I think really draws content
00:17:05
creators is you want to post videos and
00:17:08
they want to judge you for posting
00:17:09
videos. Let them. And I think some of
00:17:11
this comes to down to people judging you
00:17:14
for posting videos
00:17:16
online. And it's a way in my opinion to
00:17:19
deflect
00:17:21
criticism. Maybe people in your life or
00:17:24
in their life are thinking what you do
00:17:27
is stupid. They think that like anybody
00:17:29
being a Tik Tocker or you YouTuber is
00:17:32
stupid or like you know who does she
00:17:33
think she is kind of thing. But there's
00:17:36
also a way of deflecting criticism. Both
00:17:40
of these creators and creators who post
00:17:43
regular content like regular haul
00:17:46
content get criticism for how much new
00:17:50
stuff they're bringing in and buying.
00:17:53
Not every criticism that you get is
00:17:56
coming from a place of being a hater or
00:17:59
pe like people telling you that you
00:18:02
shouldn't haul this much stuff or people
00:18:04
complaining about how much you haul or
00:18:07
overconumption or anything like that
00:18:09
isn't just being a hater. It's not every
00:18:13
negative comment equals you being a
00:18:16
hater. I can understand where these
00:18:18
creators come from because when you're
00:18:20
online, I think what draws creators to
00:18:22
this is that being online means that
00:18:25
there is like almost always somebody who
00:18:27
has a negative thing to say about what
00:18:29
you're doing. And it can be a really big
00:18:32
trap to fall into to dismiss everything
00:18:35
and dismiss it all as hate because I can
00:18:38
tell you it is hard to take sometimes.
00:18:41
I'm going to give a personal example
00:18:42
here to just take away from the creators
00:18:44
for a second. Even when it's something
00:18:46
that's not about content, it's
00:18:47
somebody's opinion on it. Some people
00:18:50
like some people say I talk too softly
00:18:52
and that's a problem. Other people love
00:18:55
how talk how softly I talk. Who do I
00:18:57
listen to? And in some cases, you just
00:19:00
have to go with your gut and make the
00:19:03
choice that you feel is right.
00:19:04
Otherwise, you can go insane trying to
00:19:07
please everybody or resting your
00:19:10
decisions on the thoughts of other
00:19:12
people. I get that. And there's an
00:19:13
element to protecting your peace. And I
00:19:16
don't wish any of these creators like
00:19:18
mental harm. I don't wish harm on them.
00:19:20
It's not what this is. But I think that
00:19:23
this can turn into a deflection of valid
00:19:26
criticism and valid concern. You are not
00:19:30
free from responsibility on how you
00:19:32
influence other people or because you
00:19:35
get so many negative comments that it's
00:19:38
too much. It's not negative comment
00:19:40
equals problem. You as a creator need to
00:19:44
learn how to sus out the difference. And
00:19:48
while it can be hard and in those
00:19:50
moments where it is hard, maybe you
00:19:53
maybe you just you leave it and you wait
00:19:55
till you are in a better emotional state
00:19:57
to sus it out. But I think it's your
00:19:59
responsibility to do that. And if all of
00:20:02
your comments or majority of them are
00:20:04
telling you that your content's a
00:20:06
problem, that doesn't mean ignore it.
00:20:08
We're going to end today on a segment on
00:20:11
retail
00:20:13
therapy. And retail therapy refers to
00:20:15
the idea that shopping can serve as a
00:20:17
form of emotional healing, a way to
00:20:19
relieve stress, sadness, or anxiety by
00:20:22
purchasing new items. We've spoken about
00:20:24
this on the channel before. I've made a
00:20:27
video on retail therapy or like girl
00:20:29
therapy. I've also made a video on like
00:20:31
self-care spending, which is similar.
00:20:35
These two things often get lumped
00:20:36
together. Research shows that while
00:20:40
shopping can boost short-term dopamine,
00:20:44
it does not resolve underlying emotional
00:20:47
issues. It creates a temporary high or
00:20:51
temporary state of pleasure. But this
00:20:53
can be followed by real negative
00:20:56
long-term consequences or potential
00:20:59
harm. The reason why people struggle
00:21:01
with this or why it doesn't work is
00:21:02
because it re it lives the hard
00:21:05
emotions, the crux of the problem, the
00:21:08
thing that causes mental anguish or the
00:21:13
the narratives that is unadressed by
00:21:17
shopping. According to Helga Dipmar,
00:21:19
material goods cannot provide the
00:21:21
emotional security and self-worth that
00:21:23
individuals seek. Instead, reliance on
00:21:26
consumption for emotional needs can lead
00:21:27
to a cycle of dissatisfaction. That's
00:21:29
part of the point is that you you cannot
00:21:33
find happiness, emotional fulfillment
00:21:37
with with shopping. It is only ever
00:21:40
really a band-aid at best and an
00:21:42
avoidant strategy.
00:21:45
If you go to
00:21:46
shopping during hard emotional
00:21:50
moments, you are most likely avoiding
00:21:53
something that you need to address. That
00:21:55
should be an indicator to you. I think
00:21:58
I've previously addressed Tik Toks that
00:22:00
have been a bit more like jokey, more
00:22:03
maybe like lighthearted or maybe more
00:22:07
obviously at the four on the nose joke.
00:22:10
Some of them like might look a little
00:22:12
bit like this. She has her shopping bags
00:22:14
in her hands and it says, "Shopping
00:22:16
won't solve your problems, my honest
00:22:18
reaction." And it's her shopping. This
00:22:20
was posted end of December and it has
00:22:22
8.8 million views. This video says,
00:22:24
"Probably needed a hug. Went shopping
00:22:26
instead." The caption says, "Retail
00:22:28
therapy is the best form of healing. I
00:22:31
promise." I promise is all in caps.
00:22:33
There's a crying emoji, a heart face.
00:22:35
And then, sorry, I had that paused. She
00:22:38
goes,
00:22:39
she's showing her haul. A purse. A Prada
00:22:43
purse.
00:22:46
Mium. A scarf. Oh, scarf for her
00:22:54
bag. It's a luxury haul. Lee, I feel
00:22:58
like these Tik Toks have re like some of
00:23:02
them used to be or the ones they've
00:23:03
covered in the past have been these kind
00:23:05
of like short clips.
00:23:07
But they've morphed into ways that or
00:23:09
I've seen more I should say of Tik Toks
00:23:12
that appear increasingly serious or are
00:23:17
a little bit more difficult to sus out.
00:23:20
Is this a joke? Is this not a joke? I'm
00:23:22
now going to play you one of somebody
00:23:25
who like describes their bad day and
00:23:29
besties. I'm not having the best day.
00:23:30
So, we are going to heal ourselves with
00:23:32
some retail therapy. You didn't ask, but
00:23:34
pretend you were like, "Malia, what's
00:23:35
wrong?" Well, this morning I noticed my
00:23:37
windshield was cracked. Yeah, in my
00:23:40
brand new car. And then I had a
00:23:42
Coachella outfit package stolen and I
00:23:44
can't reorder it. It won't get here in
00:23:46
time. Perfect. But there is a Coach bag
00:23:48
I've been having my eye on for quite
00:23:50
some time. So, let's go get her. And I
00:23:52
honestly don't have my hopes too high
00:23:53
because with the way this day is going,
00:23:55
it's going to be sold out or something.
00:23:57
Let's go shopping. I'm just hoping they
00:23:58
have it. This is my little outfit. I do
00:24:00
feel cute. This could be cute for
00:24:02
Coachella. I got a little distracted
00:24:04
with Urban Outfitters, but I did lose a
00:24:06
Coachella package, so I kind of need a
00:24:08
Coachella fit. It was warranted. All
00:24:10
right, here we go. Fingers are crossed.
00:24:12
Not the bag I came for, but she is
00:24:14
really cute. I've been seeing all the
00:24:16
denim bags online, but I don't see any
00:24:18
in person besides this one. These are
00:24:21
adorable. Wait, these are so stinking
00:24:24
cute. I see the bag I was looking for. I
00:24:27
want her. I feel the day turning around.
00:24:30
Yes, I've had my eye on her for a minute
00:24:32
now. She's new for spring and she's so
00:24:35
stinking cute. I love this wallet cuz I
00:24:37
love a card holder, but I stuff mine to
00:24:39
the brim. I like this one, too, because
00:24:42
then my cards will fall out. I don't
00:24:44
have a legit wallet, so I think I am
00:24:45
going to get her, too. Wait, but this
00:24:48
little one is so cute. What can this
00:24:51
carry? Absolutely nothing. But it's
00:24:53
adorable. I also absolutely love this
00:24:55
bag. I've honestly just been more into
00:24:58
bigger bags so I can carry all my
00:24:59
cameras and all my lip gloss. They're
00:25:02
wrapping up my bag. Let's see what else
00:25:03
we can find. I'm in Sephora, but I'm
00:25:05
just looking before next week's Sephora
00:25:07
sale. So, I know what to add to cart
00:25:09
next week. The new Kali smells so so
00:25:12
good. I will be adding to cart, but next
00:25:15
week the new Glossier perfume. She's
00:25:18
pretty. Hey, what's the tea on her? an
00:25:20
overnight strength repair treatment
00:25:23
because I recently fell in love with
00:25:24
this hydrating treatment for overnight.
00:25:26
Yeah, I'm going to have to try her out.
00:25:28
But next week, I'm going on the Sephora
00:25:30
app and adding everything to my cart
00:25:32
there so I remember. Okay, I saw her on
00:25:34
Tik Tok shop, y'all. She smells good. I
00:25:36
like her. All right, I bought something
00:25:38
even though I know I shouldn't have.
00:25:39
Let's get this bag and get out of here.
00:25:41
In my defense, I'm getting braids next
00:25:42
week, so I kind of needed this before
00:25:43
the braids. I got my bag. Now, let's get
00:25:45
out of here. And just like that, I feel
00:25:47
better. So, she describes the bad day
00:25:49
that she's had that her windshield
00:25:51
cracked and her Coachella outfit was
00:25:54
stolen. Obviously, not great things.
00:25:58
It's super annoying for these things to
00:26:01
happen, but this ultimately is her
00:26:06
trigger or her excuse to go shopping. It
00:26:09
seems like the justification that she
00:26:11
tells herself and then at the end, oh, I
00:26:13
feel better. And I don't want to come on
00:26:14
here and say I am the arbiter. what a
00:26:17
bad day is and you must react this way
00:26:19
or this way. But this kind of feels like
00:26:22
inconveniences
00:26:24
happen and even an inconvenience can be
00:26:28
a trigger for shopping. Hey y'all
00:26:30
editing here. In the video I was
00:26:32
mentioning this is it a joke is it not a
00:26:34
joke and it becoming increasingly hard
00:26:36
to tell. That is a bit of what's
00:26:38
happening here. But I think what's
00:26:39
really pushing me over the edge and what
00:26:42
also could be contributing that is the
00:26:43
co-opting of the word healing. Healing
00:26:47
is a very specific word that
00:26:51
invokes more of that therapy speak and
00:26:54
is more directly associated with therapy
00:26:57
and therapeutic practices and
00:27:00
techniques. Healing also carries a lot
00:27:02
of significance and emotional weight.
00:27:05
And I think there's one thing of saying
00:27:08
this is retail therapy or I just want to
00:27:10
go shopping or having a bad day. But to
00:27:13
specifically call retail
00:27:16
therapy healing and to specifically use
00:27:19
the word healing in a retail therapy
00:27:21
context, I think pushes this to the next
00:27:23
level
00:27:25
and really is solidifying terms and
00:27:28
associating terms that aren't okay or
00:27:31
associating terms with practices that
00:27:33
aren't okay. And by that I mean
00:27:35
positioning re retail therapy as a
00:27:38
healing practice and therefore okay or
00:27:40
beneficial which really minimizes the
00:27:43
problems. Let's watch one last example.
00:27:46
Girl, just buy it. You work 5 days a
00:27:49
week, girl. The week has seven days and
00:27:54
you work five of those days and you're
00:27:56
not going to [ __ ] check out that
00:27:59
Sephora cart, that Essence cart, that
00:28:02
Ulta cart, that
00:28:05
[ __ ] ASOS cart, that Zara cart. Girl,
00:28:10
you work five days a
00:28:14
week. Five. This last video is a little
00:28:17
bit different because it's not
00:28:18
explicitly retail therapy. The title on
00:28:21
the screen is just buy it core and she's
00:28:24
shopping and the audio describing the
00:28:25
video or the audio that is playing on
00:28:27
top is you work so hard. You work 5 days
00:28:30
a week just buy it. It's enabling
00:28:32
language to be honest. This video ties
00:28:35
shopping directly to personal worth and
00:28:37
emotional reward. The language echoes a
00:28:40
broader narrative that frames hard work
00:28:41
is not just deserving of rest or
00:28:43
recognition but of consumption. In
00:28:46
addition, by framing this as a reward,
00:28:50
as like working hard implication, there
00:28:53
are they're implicating self-worth here
00:28:56
and as well recognition that bypasses or
00:28:59
is easy to bypass arguments against
00:29:01
shopping. The focus shifts to
00:29:03
worthiness. It makes it harder to
00:29:06
question or critique shopping because
00:29:09
what you end up critiquing is you not
00:29:12
being worth it. The person not being
00:29:15
worth it or, you know, it can sound like
00:29:17
you're invalidating somebody's efforts.
00:29:19
Beyond financial consequences, the
00:29:21
practice of retail therapy can increase
00:29:25
stress and anxiety. And these things are
00:29:27
things that
00:29:29
maintain issues like it can maintain
00:29:32
this the the need for retail therapy. It
00:29:36
can be cyclical over time. We can use
00:29:38
spending as an emotional regulator which
00:29:40
can reinforce unhealthy patterns. We can
00:29:43
teach ourselves our brain that relief
00:29:45
comes from consumption and not from
00:29:48
communication or soothing tools, self
00:29:52
soothing techniques or that was a tongue
00:29:53
twister for me or emotional work. This
00:29:56
can be an avoidance of real healing in
00:30:00
many ways of healing from the things of
00:30:02
the past that have caused you hurt that
00:30:05
you have not healed from because you are
00:30:07
shopping but also not rectifying this
00:30:12
behavior that continues be the tool or
00:30:15
the mechanism for hard feelings. And
00:30:18
instead of addressing your feelings of
00:30:22
maybe grief or
00:30:24
loneliness, anger, fear, or self-worth,
00:30:28
retail therapy masks these feelings or
00:30:31
these problems, and we are delaying
00:30:34
genuine emotional growth. We can stunt
00:30:37
ourselves in a way. And I talked in a
00:30:39
previous video about depowering
00:30:41
language. And I think that is what is
00:30:43
happening here. not dealing with your
00:30:45
emotions. Whether you're using shopping
00:30:48
as a coping mechanism or drinking or
00:30:52
gambling or eating, all of these things
00:30:56
can have the byproduct of doing the
00:30:58
thing opposed to addressing the
00:31:00
emotions. And if you don't address the
00:31:02
emotions, you don't learn how to address
00:31:04
them and you keep up these cycles of
00:31:07
behavior. And then you also keep all of
00:31:09
the unprocessed stuff that's been
00:31:11
hanging around back here for as long as
00:31:13
you've had that problem or that you've
00:31:17
used whatever you're using as a tool for
00:31:20
coping. All that stuff doesn't just get
00:31:23
processed and dealt with. You still got
00:31:25
to do the work unless you choose to live
00:31:27
your entire life not processing your
00:31:30
emotions. The thing about this is that
00:31:32
it usually catches up with people. I
00:31:34
talk about overconumption on this
00:31:36
channel a lot because of the ways that
00:31:40
it affects us negatively and there are
00:31:41
so many of them and today we're
00:31:43
primarily talking about like the mental
00:31:45
and emotional effects of shopping and
00:31:48
how it can affect our like our psyche or
00:31:50
person or outlook on the world our
00:31:52
emotional health and well-being. It's
00:31:54
not a joke and it's not funny and it can
00:31:57
be real serious. That's why I don't have
00:31:59
chill about it. That's why like I don't
00:32:01
vibe with people who go haha jokeie
00:32:03
joke. No ma'am. And then equating
00:32:06
shopping with self-love or self-worth
00:32:08
can add different elements of problems
00:32:11
or dangers. So as we conclude, my
00:32:13
reminder to you is that shopping is
00:32:16
probably not going to be a tool of
00:32:17
healing. And the next time you see
00:32:19
somebody an ad or influencer using the
00:32:22
language of retail therapy or inner
00:32:26
child
00:32:29
healing, I would wonder about that.
00:32:31
Maybe be skeptical if it's being used as
00:32:35
a tool to promote shopping or way to
00:32:37
promote shopping. I would ask yourself,
00:32:39
do you benefit from hearing this message
00:32:41
or who benefits from hearing this
00:32:43
message? And are you in a place
00:32:47
potentially based on the message to
00:32:49
consume this kind of content? And would
00:32:52
doing this action or taking this action
00:32:54
meet an emotional need or distract from
00:32:57
that? That's everything I have for you
00:32:58
today. I hope you enjoyed this one.
00:33:00
Maybe a little bit different from me,
00:33:02
but I hope it was informative or
00:33:04
enjoyable
00:33:06
nonetheless. Thank you so much for
00:33:08
watching and I hope to see you again
00:33:09
around here tomorrow for another video.
00:33:15
[Music]
00:33:18
Bye. Bye.
00:33:21
[Music]
