00:00:05
want rope all gooey Oh mais important
00:00:09
ago sir door immediately grains
00:00:11
conflicts in todo mundo joven Domini
00:00:14
libros in three days como seguro simcha
00:00:17
vas a mere sales revos Jeff introduces
00:00:21
entreaty Quattro Domas ok so whit
00:00:25
preserve itto brigades oveja say
00:00:27
vacation open escritorio amigo Munoz
00:00:29
unashamed clicks occultation pork
00:00:33
industry historic Mexico Camino
00:00:35
Priscilla does negotiation for for
00:00:37
myself yeah well I I was trained as an
00:00:40
anthropologist which is a student of
00:00:42
human beings and human beings engage in
00:00:44
a lot of conflicts and I was also born
00:00:46
in the shadow of the atomic bomb and so
00:00:49
I was always wondering why are we
00:00:51
getting into such a conflict the United
00:00:53
smite country the United States and the
00:00:55
Soviet Union and imperiling the future
00:00:58
of humanity so that's what got me
00:01:00
interested in negotiation right 62 1962
00:01:03
the Cuban Missile Crisis you know if
00:01:05
that crisis had gone slightly
00:01:07
differently we wouldn't be talking right
00:01:09
now yes the first row premiered on
00:01:12
Expedia Gowariker well he woke me up and
00:01:16
but then I had the privilege I worked
00:01:18
for many years during the 1980s helping
00:01:21
the United States and the Soviet
00:01:23
government build what are called nuclear
00:01:26
Risk Reduction centers which are places
00:01:28
where you can communicate to avoid a war
00:01:31
by accident by mistake and and one of
00:01:35
the things we studied was the Cuban
00:01:36
Missile Crisis and we brought met people
00:01:40
who were the surviving participants in
00:01:42
the Cuban crisis in Moscow together in
00:01:44
1989 people like Robert McNamara
00:01:47
McGeorge Bundy Andrei Gromyko
00:01:50
Anatoly Dobrynin and asked what really
00:01:53
he started closing overview told us all
00:01:55
the way around the table we had them
00:01:57
together to ask what really happened how
00:02:00
how did we how did we survive you kick
00:02:02
won't assume well it was it was amazing
00:02:05
because it was a little bit tense at
00:02:07
first you know because still the time of
00:02:09
communism and people weren't used to
00:02:11
talking but yeah for you but Matt
00:02:13
numeira broke the ice he said he said
00:02:15
you know if I had been in your shoes I
00:02:19
might have assumed to like you that the
00:02:22
United States was going to attack Cuba
00:02:24
so I understand what you did in bringing
00:02:26
nuclear missiles so immediately that
00:02:29
began to relax which is to me one of the
00:02:31
very important things in negotiation
00:02:33
which is to put yourself in the other
00:02:36
side shoes if you make that first step
00:02:39
then you can begin to create an
00:02:41
atmosphere in which you can begin to
00:02:43
reach an agreement okay what's this show
00:02:44
me como con about in there yeah exactly
00:02:46
it's to me that the the foundation of
00:02:49
successful negotiation is to imagine
00:02:51
you're negotiating on a stage like this
00:02:53
a piece of theater part of your mind
00:02:55
goes to a mental or an emotional balcony
00:02:58
which is a place of count of perspective
00:03:01
of clarity where you can see the picture
00:03:03
and you can remember what is most
00:03:04
important to you cassaundra mrs. kuba ka
00:03:09
mais important to Khrushchev Oh Kenny
00:03:11
janessa you know each was so important
00:03:15
if we'd had a president like I don't
00:03:19
know Trump you know we would that would
00:03:21
be it but Kennedy was was acutely aware
00:03:27
he had just read a history of how World
00:03:31
War one had begun and how no one really
00:03:35
wanted that war but the war happened and
00:03:36
so he was very sensitive to how things
00:03:40
might happen and Khrushchev had been in
00:03:42
World War two and he wrote a personal
00:03:45
letter to Kennedy during the crisis in
00:03:47
which he said I've seen the guns the
00:03:51
tanks roll I in my lifetime and he said
00:03:54
it's like a knot
00:03:55
he gave this analogy it's like a knot
00:03:57
and there's a rope and there's a knot in
00:04:00
the rope and we're now pulling on it and
00:04:02
at some point the only way we can cut it
00:04:04
is with a sword of war so they were
00:04:07
speaking to each other and they were
00:04:08
both trying to find a way out of this
00:04:11
crisis and it was only by luck really
00:04:14
that and good statesmanship by both men
00:04:16
that we were able to survive visage kiss
00:04:19
full moon with mais dedicado the - Nadia
00:04:22
yes without
00:04:24
that was the moment in which you know
00:04:26
there were little accidents like like
00:04:29
during the midst of the crisis an
00:04:31
American plane was flying over Cuba to
00:04:34
take photos and and the Russians shot a
00:04:39
missile and shot it down the pilot was
00:04:42
killed and the Americans were all
00:04:45
prepared to invade Cuba at that point
00:04:47
and it was and we thought that in the
00:04:50
United States in Washington they thought
00:04:51
oh that was a deliberate decision by
00:04:53
Khrushchev but no we talked to the
00:04:55
general and he just saw the plane on his
00:04:58
radar screen he was in Cuba for two
00:05:00
minutes he just decided by himself to do
00:05:02
it
00:05:03
but that almost started the war
00:05:05
professor yeah at you then it was hell
00:05:09
so the art of negotiation to me is
00:05:12
what's negotiation is something actually
00:05:14
it's something that we do everyone does
00:05:16
all the time we're all negotiators we
00:05:18
may not realize it it's simply back and
00:05:21
forth communication like we're doing
00:05:22
right now except we're trying to reach
00:05:24
some kind of agreement and in that
00:05:26
simple sense
00:05:27
we're negotiate with our children with
00:05:29
our spouses with our friends with our
00:05:32
partners our colleagues our bosses our
00:05:34
employees when I ask people how much
00:05:36
they negotiate in that sense they say oh
00:05:38
half my time I'm negotiating this is
00:05:40
just watching my foot it's on Paul
00:05:42
Fallon Duque Trump
00:05:44
si la tercera my spirit was crystal
00:05:46
indigo interesting well I mean the thing
00:05:51
is in one sense it's true because he has
00:05:55
if he became president States he's the
00:05:58
president of the most powerful nation on
00:06:00
the planet
00:06:02
Isis however difficult it is and however
00:06:05
dangerous it is is a few tens of
00:06:09
thousands of people but the United
00:06:12
States could do a lot more in the in the
00:06:15
hands of the wrong person
00:06:16
Jose Jose Gadhafi seppuku tempo is cool
00:06:19
vintage insidious Superstock esta esta
00:06:22
vez land yeah samake Stonebridge
00:06:24
committee negotiation it is it is but
00:06:29
it's it is an it isn't because first of
00:06:32
all we have to negotiate to build a
00:06:35
coalition
00:06:36
to defeat Isis to deal with Isis and we
00:06:39
also have to apply the same principles
00:06:41
of negotiation to Isis we have to
00:06:43
understand why are they attracting tens
00:06:46
of thousands of young people to their
00:06:48
cause if we don't put ourselves in their
00:06:50
shoes understand what the attraction is
00:06:52
we're never going to be able to to
00:06:54
combat the phenomenon you still put
00:06:57
Abdullah yeah
00:06:59
they had never product they're marketing
00:07:02
it through the internet they're very
00:07:03
savvy at social media and we need to
00:07:06
have a counter product what can attract
00:07:08
people what can give young people the
00:07:11
sense of meaning the sense of making a
00:07:13
better world that Isis is appealing to
00:07:16
quite some business Rapinoe negotiators
00:07:20
dysphoria Monday I was half an inch
00:07:22
Mandela
00:07:22
first sir for sure I I had a privilege
00:07:25
of going to South Africa I met Mandela
00:07:28
at one point and I watched as a
00:07:33
situation where here was a man he was
00:07:36
put in jail for 17 27 years what was the
00:07:41
first thing he did when he was in jail
00:07:42
the first thing he did was he learned
00:07:45
the language of his enemy Afrikaans he
00:07:48
studied their history he learned about
00:07:51
them he learned about their sufferings
00:07:53
their story and that equipped him to be
00:07:55
a better negotiator he went to the
00:07:57
balcony
00:07:58
in fact he even says in his
00:07:59
autobiography he he learned how to deal
00:08:02
with negotiate with himself first he
00:08:05
learned how to deal with it because he
00:08:06
was quick to react he had been a boxer
00:08:08
so he was quick to react he learned how
00:08:10
to manage himself to me which is the key
00:08:13
to success in negotiation if we can't
00:08:15
influence ourselves first how can we
00:08:18
possibly influence someone else follow
00:08:21
casillas Grange then Starling Roseville
00:08:25
yeah he Churchill okay so Stalin was not
00:08:31
much of a negotiator he was a he was a
00:08:32
dictator you know he just ruled by the
00:08:35
hour but I could eat more meals with ya
00:08:36
but in that moment absolutely after
00:08:39
after during World War two they people
00:08:43
who would never ever have
00:08:46
even sat in the same room together we're
00:08:48
able to create a coalition to defeat
00:08:53
Hitler and then to try and build a world
00:08:57
and the United Nations the world that we
00:08:59
inherit today so in that sense it was a
00:09:01
successful a very successful negotiation
00:09:04
Roosevelt had the long-term perspective
00:09:06
Churchill did too but they were able to
00:09:10
go to the balcony that was the key they
00:09:12
were able to think not just of the next
00:09:15
year but think of the next generation or
00:09:17
two generations and think how is the
00:09:18
world gonna deal with its conflicts and
00:09:20
as difficult as we have it now it was
00:09:23
much worse back then that's the thing I
00:09:26
mean right now there's a lot of fear in
00:09:28
the world and even a lot of anger but I
00:09:31
think back to the Cold War like the
00:09:33
Cuban Missile Crisis even as dangerous
00:09:36
as Isis is it's nothing compared to the
00:09:39
Cuban Missile Crisis which is when you
00:09:41
know all of humanity might have perished
00:09:43
so so we have to kind of again put
00:09:46
things in perspective and realize that
00:09:48
there's hope we can do this it takes
00:09:51
negotiation it takes cooperation and
00:09:53
that's the great challenge facing us
00:09:54
today so far we call okay I may speak
00:09:56
Chivo million breathe the sri lankan
00:09:58
kissinger so below some Francie's dues
00:10:01
and reserves I mean to poke with tape
00:10:03
when we need to have that long-term
00:10:06
perspective it was Steve apocatip
00:10:11
nikomia Basu blown across negotiations
00:10:13
just fascist you go the only in fweh
00:10:15
well I've been involved president Santos
00:10:18
asked me to come to Colombia five years
00:10:20
ago to advise him about how to even
00:10:23
begin the process of how do you put an
00:10:27
end to a 50-year civil war and at that
00:10:30
point people thought there's a 2% chance
00:10:32
a 3% chest because they there'd been
00:10:35
many attempts all failed what we tried
00:10:38
to do was try to figure out how this is
00:10:41
one of the keys in negotiation how do
00:10:43
you build the other side a Golden Bridge
00:10:45
how do you make it as easy as possible
00:10:48
for them to come and make a peace
00:10:52
agreement
00:10:52
leave aside their weapons and so what we
00:10:55
did was we designed an agenda
00:10:57
based on an understanding of their
00:10:59
interests we knew that they weren't just
00:11:00
gonna surrender because after 50 years
00:11:02
what are they going to say to their
00:11:03
troops oh it's all over they have to
00:11:06
have some sense of honour and dignity
00:11:07
what they had fought for was land
00:11:10
injustice and land inequality and land
00:11:12
so we began with the issue of land
00:11:14
reform we we we offered them the
00:11:19
possibility of participating in politics
00:11:21
so that they can try to advance their
00:11:25
agenda through Democratic means and so
00:11:27
we designed a little agenda we then had
00:11:30
secret talks in Havana for six months to
00:11:34
see if we could agree on the formula and
00:11:36
once there that was agreement then
00:11:38
Santos made those public and now now
00:11:41
we're in the last month or two of
00:11:44
reaching a final agreement and it's it's
00:11:47
it's quite it's an amazing history
00:11:49
making opportunity because it's the end
00:11:52
of a 50-year war over 200,000 dead six
00:11:56
million internally displaced victims and
00:12:00
there's been a lot of innovations in the
00:12:02
process innovations in transitional
00:12:04
justice innovations in victim rights
00:12:07
innovations in the role of women but the
00:12:10
amazing thing too is it's the end of the
00:12:12
last armed conflict in the entire
00:12:15
hemisphere so it raises the question if
00:12:18
we can put an end to war in one
00:12:20
hemisphere why not into Professor Ian
00:12:25
silicon so far little papa for me
00:12:27
important I mean it was hope to me is
00:12:30
one of the great lights in the world
00:12:32
today and yes the the Pope has played he
00:12:36
played an important role in bringing the
00:12:37
United States and Cuba together the
00:12:39
negotiations take place in Cuba and when
00:12:42
the Pope visited Cuba he gave an
00:12:44
incentive even the FARC you know they
00:12:46
they look up to the Pope Raul Castro you
00:12:48
know you know they they're right now
00:12:50
people like the Pope and so he plays a
00:12:53
very important role of inspiring peace
00:12:58
evidentially was also normally in
00:13:03
hospital newspaper operas universidades
00:13:06
Harvard you notice things now absolutely
00:13:09
the when I began in the 1970s there were
00:13:14
no courses on negotiation but now every
00:13:17
school even around the world but at
00:13:20
Harvard the Business School the law
00:13:22
school the School of Government major
00:13:24
corporations everyone recognizes that
00:13:27
negotiation is the key a key skill for
00:13:31
all of us in fact we should probably be
00:13:32
teaching children in elementary schools
00:13:34
how do you resolve conflicts because
00:13:36
it's a it's key in life and now it's the
00:13:39
beginning of this field so Kennedy's is
00:13:41
a few we were in Kunar water do that
00:13:44
negotiations already and she managed on
00:13:48
it is it is and I just got back from
00:13:51
there and one of the things is is to me
00:13:56
is the the Middle East is going through
00:13:58
a huge change right now a tectonic
00:14:00
change may be the change in it the first
00:14:03
massive change like in a hundred years
00:14:05
of reorganizing even borders thinking of
00:14:09
how all but the question is how is
00:14:11
everyone gonna live together and one of
00:14:14
my passions is a project that I started
00:14:15
ten years ago which is to create a kind
00:14:17
of santiago de compostela in the middle
00:14:20
east called the camino de Abril the the
00:14:22
Abraham pattern and it's a long distance
00:14:25
route that goes across the whole Middle
00:14:28
East that ties the entire Middle East
00:14:31
together around an ancient story that
00:14:34
binds the Middle East together which is
00:14:35
a story of Abraham or Ibrahim who
00:14:37
signifies what people in the Middle East
00:14:40
are most proud of which is their
00:14:41
tradition of hospitality yeah this tent
00:14:44
open in all four directions look you
00:14:45
still do absolutely for everyone it's
00:14:49
really for everyone and and to me the
00:14:51
future of the Middle East long term is
00:14:53
either terrorism or tourism and and the
00:14:58
Abraham path is an initiative in tourism
00:15:00
in economic development and the World
00:15:02
Bank is now involved National Geographic
00:15:05
did a cover story of the ten best new
00:15:08
walking trails in the world
00:15:10
Provence Wales Tuscany number one was
00:15:14
gaybraham death race waters necrosis was
00:15:18
mighty faeces go Cynthia
00:15:19
well I've done no I mean always the last
00:15:23
negotiation is the most difficult but
00:15:25
one of them I remember was in Venezuela
00:15:27
where I had to negotiate with Lugo
00:15:28
Chavez and management yeah he really was
00:15:32
and I was brought in invited by the
00:15:36
United Nations because it was a time
00:15:38
when there were a million people on the
00:15:39
streets of Caracas demanding the
00:15:41
resignation of Chavez and a million
00:15:43
people supporting him and people were
00:15:45
worried there would be violence and
00:15:46
maybe even civil war anyway at one point
00:15:48
I had a number of meetings with him but
00:15:51
one meeting in particular was I had a
00:15:53
meeting with him it was at 9 o'clock at
00:15:54
night in the presidential palace and he
00:15:57
liked to meet at night and ten o'clock
00:15:59
eleven o'clock midnight finally i'm
00:16:01
cherdon to see him and i expect to find
00:16:04
him all alone but he's got his entire
00:16:05
cabinet he says here have a seat tell me
00:16:08
what do you think of the situation here
00:16:10
in Venezuela and I said mr. president
00:16:12
I've been speaking to your ministers
00:16:14
I've been speaking the opposition and I
00:16:16
think there's been a little bit of
00:16:17
progress well that was the wrong thing
00:16:19
to say because he said what you're not
00:16:22
seeing the dirty tricks those traitors
00:16:24
are up to meet again exactly you're
00:16:26
naive you're you're foolish he proceeded
00:16:29
to lean very close to my face like this
00:16:31
maybe very close to my face and shouted
00:16:33
for approximately thirty minutes and I
00:16:37
was going you know all this work down
00:16:40
the drain but then I had a chance to go
00:16:42
to the balcony for a moment and asked
00:16:44
myself is you know because I was
00:16:46
thinking you know I'm not a fool
00:16:48
whatever is it really gonna be in my
00:16:49
interest which is peace to get into an
00:16:52
argument with the president of Venezuela
00:16:54
but I said no so I just listened to him
00:16:56
which is key in negotiation just listen
00:16:58
I just listened for 30 minutes nodding
00:17:01
my head and after 30 minutes I watched
00:17:03
his shoulders sink a little bit and so
00:17:06
he said to me in a very weary tone of
00:17:08
voice so Yuri what should I do
00:17:11
that's the sound of a human mind opening
00:17:14
that's when he was a little bit ready to
00:17:16
hear something before that he was just
00:17:18
angry and so I said mr. president I
00:17:20
think the
00:17:21
entire country needs to go to the
00:17:22
balcony because after all
00:17:24
last Christmas it was just before
00:17:26
Christmas
00:17:27
all the festivities were cancelled
00:17:29
because of the crisis why don't get just
00:17:31
declare at régua a truce give everyone
00:17:34
to truce for for three weeks
00:17:35
he said that's an excellent idea I'm
00:17:37
gonna propose that my next speech his
00:17:40
mood had entirely shifted and he said
00:17:42
you know over Christmas I want you to
00:17:44
come with me and travel around the
00:17:46
country and then he thought for a moment
00:17:48
he said but you're you're a mediator
00:17:49
maybe that wouldn't be so good to always
00:17:51
be seen in my company but no problem
00:17:53
I'll give you a disguise his vision his
00:17:57
mood it completely shifted and what I
00:17:59
learned from that is the greatest power
00:18:01
that we have is the power not to react
00:18:03
the power to go to the balcony the power
00:18:06
to listen
00:18:07
that's what can transform the situation
00:18:10
what's so good in job you go Jim
00:18:12
Catherine yes yes I have a great admirer
00:18:15
and a friend of his I just saw visited
00:18:17
him from president you know see hey leo
00:18:20
my firm grantee president which is there
00:18:22
absolutely absolutely everywhere he was
00:18:26
in the middle hello Gina yeah and I mean
00:18:30
here I mean absolutely he with his human
00:18:34
rights and democracy
00:18:35
he saved thousands and thousands of
00:18:38
lives and and and paved the way for for
00:18:42
democracy I think helped to support the
00:18:45
possibility of democracy that we now see
00:18:47
throughout Latin America
00:18:48
Moses idea from cars oh it's just big
00:18:52
and warm Amulya bring about yeah it's
00:18:56
true you consider was the idea began
00:19:01
well no the one thing I would say to me
00:19:03
which is the key to successful
00:19:05
negotiation is to talk less listen more
00:19:08
it's about to me negotiation is not we
00:19:11
think of it as talking but a successful
00:19:13
negotiator someone who knows how to
00:19:15
listen and listening I don't just mean
00:19:17
hearing the words but what's behind the
00:19:19
words what's underneath the words what
00:19:21
are the feelings what's not being said
00:19:23
what does that person really want if we
00:19:26
can learn to listen in that way I think
00:19:28
that's the key to a successful marriage
00:19:31
what we need students working here
00:19:34
Pacific oversee Warren Buffett no my
00:19:38
Quaker like what else yeah yeah Warren
00:19:40
Buffett was interested he was interested
00:19:44
in in in the nuclear issue because he
00:19:48
was worried he told me you know it's
00:19:49
like there's a huge vat of marbles
00:19:52
they're all white but there's one black
00:19:54
one and each time we have a crisis we're
00:19:57
reaching in and we're picking out of
00:19:58
marble sometime we're gonna pick up the
00:20:00
wrong Marvel the black marble so but
00:20:03
when when it was very interesting
00:20:04
because I just finished writing a book
00:20:06
called getting to yes with Roger Fisher
00:20:09
and he said a new easy be doing
00:20:11
something like that yeah absolutely and
00:20:14
and he said he said but you know in my
00:20:17
line of business yes is not the most
00:20:19
important word the most important word
00:20:21
is no and I said what do you mean war
00:20:24
and he said well I sit there at my desk
00:20:25
in Omaha and I look at one investment
00:20:28
opportunity after another and I say no
00:20:30
to this one and no to this one and no to
00:20:32
this one
00:20:32
I say no a thousand times until I find
00:20:34
the one that I'm looking for and then I
00:20:35
say yes and all I have to do is say yes
00:20:38
maybe five times and look at me you know
00:20:40
you know he's become a billionaire so to
00:20:45
me what that showed is that yes is a
00:20:48
very important word but so is no no
00:20:51
sometimes you in life you have to say no
00:20:53
in order to say yes to something even
00:20:56
more important
00:20:57
and so I wrote a book about this
00:20:59
actually inspired by that comment called
00:21:01
the power of a positive know of how to
00:21:04
say no positively in a respectful way
00:21:06
because it's very hard for people I
00:21:08
think a lot of people we can't say no so
00:21:10
easily but the the the art of the
00:21:13
positive now is key professor platino
00:21:16
program okay so my supreme dilnaaz for
00:21:18
Vida Questers negotiation stories I
00:21:21
think you know probably the biggest
00:21:23
lesson I've learned in the end of you
00:21:25
know because I focused on negotiation I
00:21:27
focused on negotiating with extremely
00:21:29
difficult people and difficult
00:21:30
situations but maybe the most important
00:21:33
lesson I've learned is that the person
00:21:35
who's most difficult that we ever have
00:21:37
to deal with in life is the person is
00:21:40
right here
00:21:41
is the person I look in the mirror every
00:21:44
morning
00:21:44
the person you look at the mirror if we
00:21:46
can learn to turn ourselves from an
00:21:50
internal enemy into an internal friend
00:21:53
if we can learn to get to yes with
00:21:56
ourselves then it'll be a lot easier to
00:21:58
get to yes with others do it again
